Life advice – Page 9 – The Will to Wake Up

When Life Comes to a Stand Still

Do you feel stuck, like life is passing you by without any meaning? Here’s hope for the slow-moving times.

Did you know that we (assuming you’re on Earth 😉) are currently moving at 1000 miles per hour around the sun? That’s faster than any roller coaster, mode of transportation, or animal on our planet. Yet, as I stare at the unmoving objects on my desk, it sure doesn’t feel like we’re spinning around at crazy fast speeds. But here we are, changing with each passing minute, time ticking away.

I once heard the old proverb, “Life stops for no one, not even you.” Yet sometimes, it feels like life is at a standstill. We haven’t received the result that could change everything. We haven’t heard back from the person we’re worried about. We haven’t gotten all the answers, the purpose behind our pain. It feels like God is keeping something from us, the key to our contentment.

But here’s the thing: once we get that answer or achieve that goal, we will just move on to something else. If we don’t focus on the growth that happens during the waiting, we miss out on making the most of every season of our lives, even the slow, painful ones.

The truth is, despite how you might feel, a lot is happening. Inside of you, you are deepening your relationship with God. By listening to Him, you are becoming more mature, compassionate, and understanding. During this time, if you spend time with Jesus, you will begin to develop His characteristics. He is equipping you for the important task ahead. On the outside, things are happening behind the scenes that you don’t know about. Maybe they aren’t happening the way you expect, but developments are being made.

You will not be stuck in this season forever. So instead of seeing yourself as helpless, realize that maybe you can even rejoice during this time. There is truly no wasted season when it comes to God’s plans. He understands exactly the amount of time it will take for you to grow into the person He needs you to be.

You are growing. You are changing. You are becoming someone the younger version of you would be proud of. Spend today thanking God for all He is doing in your life and remember that there is so much more to come. ❤

We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.
Psalm 33:20

Lord, I wait for you; you will answer, Lord my God.
Psalm 38:15

I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.
Psalm 130:5

Song Recommendation: 2009, by Sarah Reeves: https://youtu.be/_GGdl257Fzk

Hope for When You Don’t Belong

Do you pour out your heart for others, only to end up being their “second choice”? Here is hope for those left behind, wondering where they fit into this mess called “life”.

Sometimes it feels pointless. You are there for others, you prioritize them, and then they make you their second best option, if even that. You let their words–or rather, lack of words–define who you are.

But even if you are never chosen by the people you love, remember this:

The world is not full of truth. People don’t know what they are missing. You aren’t missing out–they are. By continuing to be faithful, you will do something much greater than be “chosen”. You will leave a lasting legacy. A legacy full of love. And guess what?

You are chosen.

Maybe not by the people who fill your mind and break your heart, but by the people God has led to love you. You may not know who they are yet, but they are there. Praying, watching, waiting, hoping. They may not fully understand why God has placed you on their hearts, but you are being looked out for.

Most of all, God chose you. He chose you when He sent His son as a sacrifice. He sent Jesus as your salvation and proof of His love. He chooses you every day, even when our sin breaks His heart.

You are someone’s first choice. You are God’s first choice. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise. You will always be cherished and loved by the One who knows every single part of you. And He will never, ever leave you behind. ❤

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
1 Peter 2:9

And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.
John 14:16-17

Here is a podcast episode related to today’s post! I hope you enjoy it!

Episode link: https://anchor.fm/hannah-chung4/episodes/Hope-for-When-You-Dont-Belong-e15okoq/a-a1plh4

All Together

Do you find it difficult to relate to people who seem to have it all together? Is it tempting to only share the parts of your life that are going well?

Recently, I’ve heard a lot of people note how, especially within the church, we are inclined to share how we successfully made it through past pain and difficulties, yet we are reluctant to reveal how we don’t have it all together in the present. The more I’ve thought about this, the truer it sounds. When we pretend like we have everything figured out, we are doing a disservice to both ourselves and the people witnessing our spiritual journey.

The truth is, no one has life figured out completely. They may look like they do, but they really don’t. Last week, I had lunch with an old friend, and we were discussing our plans for the next year. She eagerly shared how she would be joining a smaller community which she described as “nerdy”, which she looked forward to being a part of. I remarked that meant she wouldn’t feel like she had to keep up an image of having it all together. She laughed and replied, “When have I ever looked like I’ve had it all together?”

This is coming from someone who had the perfect grades in school, a great family, a comfortable home, played on a pro soccer team, nearly published a book at age 18, and had a decent sized friend group. To the outside observer, yeah, she did seem like she had it all together.

Prior to her confession of not “having it all together”, I assumed she saw herself as a successful, brilliant young woman with a bright future ahead of her. In fact, I was even a little intimidated by her as I thought about how far she had come in her goals while I felt so far back. Yet in that moment, I realized how truly terrible it is when we assume others have it better than we do.

When we see someone win a gold medal or receive a promotion, we don’t always hear about the sweat and tears it took to get where they are today. When we enviously watch others find the love of their lives or a boss who finally respects them, we don’t know about all the people who have rejected them or belittled them in the past. The point is, we don’t each others’ full stories. Even if everyone read a memoir written by everyone else, we still wouldn’t know each others’ daily thoughts and struggles. There’s no way we can take on that kind of responsibility.

That’s why it’s important to focus on the tasks God has given us specifically to do instead of looking over our shoulders at people who seem to have it better.

Additionally, when given the opportunity to share our testimonies, whether in front of a small group or one-on-one with a friend, we need to honest about how God is using our daily lives. That includes our setbacks, our moments of wondering whether or not we really overcame our past fear or regret. It also includes appreciating the little joys of each day, knowing that they may fade away tomorrow, yet we can still enjoy them in the moment.

Today, let yourself be vulnerable where you are being called to be vulnerable. Obviously, not everyone is in a place to hear about the deeper parts of your story. However, when God is calling you to share your story, don’t allow the temptation to appear as perfect as possible take over. Remember how the relatable messages of others have resonated with you. People can’t learn from human “perfection”. However, we can learn from the truths buried inside life’s ups and downs.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians 4:29

If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.
John 15:7

Song Recommendation: All Together, by Mike Donehey: https://youtu.be/IV2PdVlcUDw

Don’t Forget the Constant

Do you ever feel an emptiness inside you that you’re longing to fill?

Humans are created with an innate desire to have an intimate relationship with another being. I use the term “being” lightly, because it’s not always a person. Sometimes it’s the obvious of a romantic partner; other times it’s the desire to have a close friend, mentor, or even an emotional support pet. Sometimes the “being” is a hobby or activity or lifestyle.

I’ve spent much of my life searching. Searching for a close friend, searching for romance at times, searching for a spiritual mentor, searching for someone who will fulfill this ache.

Now, you might be thinking, come on, Hannah, God’s always there. Was this “searching” happening before you came to faith?

Honestly, no. It started a few years ago, or at least consciously started at that time. That was right during the beginning of my deeper relationship with God. It was during a season of loneliness that I realized two things:

That I really need God
And that I really wanted someone (a person) to fill this void inside me

Over the past two months, I’ve learned a lot about some people I’ve held (and still hold) in high regard. I counted on them, and to be honest, they let me down. But I also saw a new side to them, and I’m thankful to know the whole picture so that I can better understand them. Yet it’s been really hard realizing that I can’t count on these people that I had hoped would fill the void.

I jumped from person to person in the hopes of finally finding someone who respected me, who enjoyed deep conversations, and who could be there for me emotionally and spiritually. I’d find someone for a season, and then they moved on. But what I longed for was a permanent person.

And today I hit rock bottom. Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but the build up of some hard things finally toppled me over. I had to take a deep breath and deal with my feelings. And that’s when I came to an important realization: I had been trying to fill God’s place with a person. That’s why I never felt satisfied.

Not only that, but I started to think of a few people I’ve taken for granted. A few close friends, good listeners with a steady presence, who have been constants in my life. Yet I discounted them during my search because I wanted something “bigger”. I wanted someone who would take God’s place, someone tangible with quick responses.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how God used my loneliest seasons to bring me closer to Him. He wasn’t bringing me through those times to be cruel, but to give me what my heart desired, His constant presence.

God has always been there. He will always be there. And while we can’t touch Him or feel Him or hear His audible voice, we can see how He’s working. I enjoy comparing God to love, not just because God literally is love, but because it is the best analogy for Him.

We all believe love exists (at least in some capacity). But we can’t see love, can we? We can’t feel the essence of love. We can’t hear love’s voice. Yet we know it’s there. We can see the way love brings people together and heals old wounds. We can see love transform lives.

God’s the same. We can feel God through others or nature or really through anything God chooses. We can see Him working even if we can’t physically see Him. We know that He is there simply by a feeling, by the signs around us.

Don’t discount the constants in your life, especially God. Don’t forget about the people who may not be the most “exciting” or take that void away, but who have been placed in your life to bring you closer to God.

Anything you put before God isn’t going to last. It could be something really great, but it’s not greater than God. And when you’re mad at God for taking something away, stop and ask if it was taking you away from God.

God is with you through it all. You are never truly alone. ❤

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.
Deuteronomy 31:6

Are My Problems Too Big for God?

It can be easy to feel overwhelmed by life. What burdens do you need to give to God today?

It’s easy to forget that God is, well, God. The most powerful Being to ever exist. The One who created the solar system and oxygen and humans and giraffes (yes, giraffes, because they are awesome and who else could even think of that kind of creature??) and more things than there are numbers to count them!

It’s especially easy to forget that we should be in awe of God when life is going, in the words of my friend, pretty stinky. Because when things don’t go the way we planned or when it’s hard to see how God could possibly use this difficult or painful or downright irritating situation, we lose hope. We forget why it’s actually a positive thing to have God in charge.

Recently, I’ve witnessed a person I care about go through one of the hardest times of his life. It’s hard to understand why God can allow him to hit such a low. It’s one thing to want everyone to be saved and to know God loves them, but it’s completely another when you see a person who has such potential and already a close relationship with God be in such pain.

I’m sure we’ve all had our moments of doubt. Perhaps it was after an opportunity fell through or a relationship ended or a passion died out. We wonder why God has taken us through such barren wasteland, or maybe we even second-guess ourselves and wonder if we were even following God to begin with.

Yet over the past several weeks, as I’ve experienced both extreme joy and sorrow, as well as disappointment and confusion, God has made one thing clear to me. Before we are even born, God has chosen us. He has a purpose for us, and instead of that purpose being some sort of “idea” floating around, it is a tangible thing. God is intentional. He never allows us to experience anything that He didn’t take into account for.

Two and a half years ago, during one of the toughest times of my life, God sent me a verse, Psalm 116:8, “For you, Lord, have delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling.” Little did I know how that verse would play a role in my faith journey years later.

I wouldn’t call myself an artist, or at least a painter. However, I do enjoy painting as it’s very therapeutic for me. I’ve given my paintings, usually an abstract or ombre background with a verse or inspirational quote, as gifts before. I felt God leading me to paint something for my friend going through a rough time. I knew I should paint a verse, yet I wasn’t sure what verse to paint.

Ironically, the day before, I randomly decided to go through my old journals (there are 19 of them, so it’s no small feat, but clearly something I don’t do often). Anyway, I came across Psalm 116, which I had forgotten over time.

In that moment, I knew that was the passage to choose a verse from. I landed on verse 6 because it seemed more fitting. The next morning, right before I delivered the gift, I noticed my verse of the day, which just so happened to be Psalm 116:8.

God knew back when He first gave me that verse that it would encourage me, and someday be used through me to encourage another person. God had already chosen me for the tasks He’s given me now way back then and even before that.

It’s easy to think that our problems are too big for God. But let’s be honest, while our problems are difficult and can hurt, are they really bigger than defeating evil and creating the entire universe? I don’t think so.

God’s got this. I know it’s easier said than believed, but if you really think back, perhaps you can see how God has worked through situations you previously couldn’t understand. God can do so much through us, but we have to listen to Him. We have to trust that even when things don’t make sense, He has a bigger plan. He knows the future and He will only give us what’s meant for us.

So when you’re disappointed or overwhelmed, give those feelings to God. Remember that He has your best interest in mind and He is always with you.

Praise the Lord, all you nations;
extol him, all you peoples.
²For great is his love toward us,
and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever.
Psalm 117:1-2

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!
Romans 11:33

The Lord protects the unwary,
When I was brought low, He saved me.
Return to your rest, my soul,
for the Lord has been good to you.
Psalm 116:6-7

Words of Wisdom

Have you been hurt by someone’s words in an argument?

We all have that one phrase that gets under our skin. It’s usually a criticism, and something people don’t realize harms us. Often it’s meant to shine a light on a weakness of ours (or maybe a perceived weakness that we’re working on), but it wounds instead.

For me, it’s being called “selfish”. I’ll never forget the time in middle school when I was first outright called selfish. My mom and I were in an argument and she used that term against me. That stung deep because my whole life, growing up as an only child, everyone assumed I was self-centered. And I’ll admit, I’ve had moments of being selfish. However, it was something I was working on and worked so hard to not be. I felt like a burden and did everything I could to not make things about myself, even sacrificing my sanity sometimes. But there it was, that evil word. This particular irritation, this deep wound that comes when it’s implied that I’m not thinking of others, must stem from this feeling of needing to earn my worth, of not sacrificing enough. Often, these “trigger phrases” come from past pain and deep seeded lies from the enemy. Nonetheless, they cause us to spiral into self-doubt and cause us to forget who we are in Jesus.

I don’t blame my mom, or others who have used this adjective. My mom even denies having that argument because she can’t imagine saying that and she affirms me on a regular basis. However, whenever the word “selfish” comes up, it still stings.

Today, when I shared how I felt about a sensitive subject with a friend, she shot back, “You’re not the only one going through hard things.” That hurt. That hurt a lot. To me, that was an implication that I’m a selfish person. While she didn’t mean to wound me, it went far deeper than she realized.

But this post isn’t a debate of whether or not I’m a selfish person. It’s about what I’ve learned from being hurt by other people’s misguided remarks. I know I’ve hurt others with my words before, especially words coming from an angry place.

Words hold a lot of power. A lot more power than we realize. We won’t always realize how much they can change others’ lives, whether for good or bad. That’s why we have to be careful with our words, using them sparingly sometimes, or inserting them into heated conversations to bring peace other times.

The issue with words is that they are so easy to say or type or write. In a few seconds, there can be a whole angry paragraph on text sent out. Or in the blink of an eye, we’ve opened our mouths and spit out the very same hurt someone else has thrown at us. When we don’t think, we can’t exercise wisdom.

Now, I’ll be honest, it’s pretty much impossible to never hurt anyone’s feelings, especially with your words. But it’s important to always keep in the back of your mind that your words may have more impact than you realize. So make that impact positive. Make your words be what lifts people up.

For me, the phrase “You’re never alone” has stuck with me from a prayer a friend prayed over me during a retreat during one of my darkest times. Still when I hear it, I feel an instant sense of warmth and love. I feel God’s presence beside me. It has the opposite effect of “You’re not thinking of others”.

We all have weaknesses. I have more than I can count, and sometimes selfishness is one of them. Sometimes speaking before I think is one of them. When we see a brother or sister in Christ struggling with a sin that’s hurting others, we should find a way to help them work through it. But we shouldn’t make them think that they are any less of a person by struggling with something because we are no more perfect than they are.

It is by God’s grace that we are here, and when we extend that grace to others, we will begin to see the world in a whole new light. The light of God’s unfailing love. ❤

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.
Ephesians 2:8

This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.
James 1:19

The Process of Being Made New

Have you taken the time to rest and work through what’s hurting your heart?

I’m sure we’ve all had that one road we avoid driving on, that’s never properly taken care of. As I’ve shared before, I work at a horse riding barn, which is located in a reasonably rural area. The closer I get, the more beat-up the roads become. Potholes, overhanging branches, and a random assortment of odd objects clutter the road.

The last main road leading to the property has had a few major potholes since I’ve started driving on it. They’ve tried filling the potholes with cement or asphalt, yet they often end up getting bigger after a while. A few weeks ago, they tore up the entire road, stripping it of the outer layer and leaving a worn down rubble path.

I was horrified, to say the least. Sure, the old road with the filled potholes wasn’t ideal, but this disgusting torn up mess was terrible. I feared they were just going to leave it like that after a week went by with no progress. However, my boss assured me they were just stripping the road in order to put down fresh asphalt.

To be honest, I began to doubt her, until one day, out of the blue, the entire road had been re-paved! It’s fresh, shiny even, and the smoothest road I’ve ever driven on. They went all out by adding a sidewalk, ramps at the neighborhood entrances, and new paint. It looks pretty perfect, and on the surface no one would know how crumbly it is underneath.

Sometimes, in life, we like to cover up our brokenness by filling our lives with empty things. They can be things that seem good, and maybe they even are, like relationships, sports, hobbies, or even volunteering. However, when we are trying to soothe an old wound with these things, we will never get to the heart of the problem.

It’s easy to push ourselves forward without taking the time to work through our past hurt. We might take small steps, like filling in the “potholes” with temporary solutions. A talk here or a devotional there, or even a prayer sometimes. But when we don’t have the patience to sit down and really feel those painful things and let go, we can’t be made new.

And trust me, God wants to make you new. He wants to tear away all the images you’re hiding behind and see the real you. And perhaps that person is broken, hurting, and overwhelmed. Perhaps that person really doesn’t have it all together and isn’t sure who they are anymore. But God wants to meet you where you’re at and bring you long-lasting healing.

He isn’t going to just help you work through one incident, either. He’s going to go all out, bringing understanding and healing to the root issues and carrying your burdens for you.

When you trust in Him and allow His peace to flow through you, you are a new creation. The old is gone, the new has come!

It will surely take time, perhaps it might not even feel worth it. But trust me, when you look back later, you’ll be glad that you allowed yourself time to rest and process. You are worth the time it takes to heal.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
2 Corinthians 4:16-17

Song Recommendation: All Things New, by Big Daddy Weave: https://youtu.be/4_2aX_i4qpM

Your Presence Matters

Is it hard for you to believe you can make an impact? Here’s some encouragement and a reminder that your presence, in whatever form it takes today, matters.

As some of you may remember, this blog originally started out as an Enneagram blog. I’m not entirely sure what I was thinking since I’m not an Enneagram expert, though personalities fascinate me and the Enneagram is my favorite “organized personality” idea.

If you don’t know what the Enneagram is, it’s basically a way of categorizing humans into nine categories based on their childhood wounds, their current needs, as well as their strengths and weaknesses. I’ve researched a lot about the Enneagram, and one of the biggest parts of it is the message each type needs to hear the most. All of the messages, such as “you are loved without having to earn it” or “you can embrace both pain and joy”, are important for all people to understand, but they should resonate especially for their type.

I’m a type 9, which is called The Peacemaker, and we are known for being understanding, seeing all sides of situations, merging with the people around us, and not realizing our voices are important. The core message for 9s is “your presence matters”. While I love this phrase for 9s, I believe it’s one that you all need to hear today.

Sometimes, life can really, really suck. Like, really. Every day can feel agonizing. You wake up and wonder why you’re really here. It’s like an invisible burden that weighs a ton has been placed on your shoulders. You can barely breathe.

And during those times, it can be easy to forget why you’ve kept going this whole time. You may attribute it to fear or to not letting others down. But the truth is, the reason why you’re here is because you matter. You have an important role to play in the world. You are going to make a difference. In fact, you already have, just by being here.

It’s easy to forget the impact you have on other people’s lives. But even in the small ways, you are helping others along their difficult journeys too. Perhaps just seeing your name pop up on your friend’s phone makes them smile. Or maybe an encouraging word to a family member helped them not give up. Maybe holding the door open for a stranger at the grocery store or thanking a waiter caused them to realize someone still cares.

You may think you need to have it “all together” in order to make a difference. You may worry that everyone is watching you and judging you. And it’s true that there will always be judgemental people out there, but they aren’t the ones you should think about. They are just insecure and realize that perhaps you have something they don’t: confidence.

You don’t have to have it all together in order to make a difference. In fact, being vulnerable about the broken parts of your life, the parts that required you to seek help or turn to God, are the ones that people can relate to most. They can even be the most inspiring parts of your story.

Even if you don’t have a perfectly worded response, even if you forget to hold the door open, even if you can’t smile today, your presence alone is vital. Just by being here, in this space, you are bringing hope and joy to those around you. And they love you more than anything. ❤

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.
John 16:33

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8

The Perfect Balance

Do you feel burned out, exhausted by life itself? May you find rest and encouragement through these words.

For those of you interested in the Olympics, I’m sure you’ve heard the headliner about U.S. gymnast, Simone Biles, withdrawing from her team’s competition this week. Each headline reads differently, but the one I love the most said, “Simone Biles’ Decision Changes the Way Athletes View the Olympics Forever”. By prioritizing her mental health, she is inspiring others who are pushing themselves too hard and encourages us to live life to the fullest rather than to please others. In fact, this choice means more than if she won gold. She could be saving lives by helping others realize their wellness matters more than any expectations placed on them. She will always be remembered, not just as a champion, but as an impactful advocate. Perhaps we can finally become a world that judges “success” not by metals but by how fulfilled and joyful people feel.

I’ve been thinking a lot about mental health recently. As I’ve shared, I’ve had my highs and lows regarding it. I’ve also witnessed others make life-altering decisions because of it, some to benefit them and others out of desperation. This is an issue that truly burdens my heart because so often people feel the need to “fit the mold” in order to be worth anything. They need to feel chosen by people, and if they are rejected, then they fear they have no future.

In all honesty, I have been rejected. Most of us have been rejected. Sometimes, we can just pass it off as that person’s loss and move on. Other times, it really stings. We hear a song that reminds us of them and we can no longer enjoy it. We want to reach out, but we don’t know how. We worry people will think we’re weak for needing a break or needing understanding.

We don’t all experience things the same way. Even if I had the exact same life as you, the things that bother you may not be the things that bother me. Things that cut deeper into me may not cut as deeply into you. That’s totally okay, and normal in fact. However, it means we have to be aware that people see situations in their lives differently, and we have to be sensitive to whatever stage of healing they are in, even if we would’ve healed faster or slower than them.

We need to be open and honest about our mental health. We need to seek the help we need or the space we need so that we can heal. And most of all, we need to turn to God and loving people He’s placed in our lives in order to remember where our worth comes from.

But we also can’t be fixated on one aspect of our lives. That’s often what gets us buried deeper into the hole of discouragement in the first place. When we only focus on our mental health, we can lose sight of our physical or spiritual health, or vice versa.

I was recently talking with a mentor who shared the three “healths”: spiritual (our relationship with God), physical (our lifestyle choices), and mental/emotional (how we feel, especially how much peace we have). There needs to be a balance between the three of them. God is working within each piece of this circle, but we have to do our part to give proper attention to each aspect.

But when we’re supposed to put God first, how can we have both balance and priorities? Well, prioritize listening to God. Ask Him what areas of your life you’re neglecting. If you continue to stay attuned to Him, you’ll be able to find that perfect balance.

Today, you may be feeling overwhelmed. You may be feel all alone. Perhaps you fear that nobody really loves you or cares or sees or knows. But I promise you that you are never alone. God knows you. He loves you and will always take care of you. He sees you, and He is putting you on others’ hearts so that they will see you and love you too. Whatever is burdening you right now will not last forever. Do what you need to in order to heal, regardless of how others might judge you. In the end, your life is between you and God. Your life is a gift, not just to you but to those who are privileged enough to be around you, to be your friend. You are worth whatever it takes to heal.

I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
    he heard my cry for mercy.
Because he turned his ear to me,
    I will call on him as long as I live.
The cords of death entangled me,
    the anguish of the grave came over me;
    I was overcome by distress and sorrow.
Then I called on the name of the Lord:
    “Lord, save me!”
The Lord is gracious and righteous;
    our God is full of compassion.
The Lord protects the unwary;
    when I was brought low, he saved me.
Return to your rest, my soul,
    for the Lord has been good to you.
For you, Lord, have delivered me from death,
    my eyes from tears,
    my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before the Lord
    in the land of the living.
Psalm 116:1-9

It’s Time to Check In

It’s easy to remember to check in on the people in our lives who seem to really need us. But when was the last time you checked in on your friends who “have it all together”?

I once heard that the people who seem to have it the most “together” are the ones who in the most need of being checked in on. I find this to be very true. When people create a large “cover” to hide their deeper feelings, it’s easier for them to be overlooked.

Last week, I got the privilege of spending time with a friend I haven’t seen in nearly a year. As I’m sure you’ve experienced when reconnecting with people after being locked down for so long, we spent the majority of the conversation discussing all we had missed from each other’s lives over the past year. She admitted to feeling frustrated over how people in her life, especially people close to her, assumed everything came easy to her and that she never needed their help. “It’s true,” she said. “Most people think I have it all together. But I really don’t.”

In all honesty, I had regarded her as a person who did have it all together. The perfect grades, a good head on her shoulders, an admirable amount of confidence. Though I wasn’t one of the people she had been referring to, I felt a sense of guilt as I realized I spent more time investing in the people in my life who had obvious needs than people like her. And just because she needed help, she needed someone to ask how she was doing, it doesn’t make her any less of the incredible person I thought she was. All of her accomplishments mean even more now that I know her mindset through those times.

Sometimes, we talk ourselves out of checking in on people. We allow our outward impressions of others to define our relationship with them. We enjoy labeling friends as “the one we have fun with” or “the one we get wise advice from” or “the one who relies on me”. But the truth is, we all need to be shown that we are cared about and that we aren’t going through life alone. And often, the ones who laugh the most and act like everything’s okay are the ones who would appreciate a kind word or a simple act of love the most. They are often the ones who are always overlooked in this sense.

Two and a half years ago, I was in a dark place. I was this close to spiraling into a place of despair. But then a friend reached out to me and checked in. She could see, or perhaps God helped her see, that something was wrong. Something deeper than what I presented on the surface. And that saved me from going into a place I don’t know if I could’ve recovered from.

Today, ask God to bring to your mind someone, or perhaps multiple people, who need you to check in on them. You don’t have to start off with deep, thought-provoking questions. Rather, just see if they need someone to talk to or if you can spend some time with them. Think outside the box, to the people who might seem okay or who might not have anyone in their lives who care about their feelings.

In the Bible, we are told that people will know we follow Jesus because of our love. The greatest commandment is to love God and love people. If we wake up every morning realizing how much love God has for us, we can extend that love to others.

You are loved. ❤

I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.
John 13:34-35

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
1 John 4:7-8

Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2

For you were called to be free, brothers and sisters; only don’t use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love.
Galatians 5:13