Devotional – Page 25 – The Will to Wake Up

Boundaries: All I Learned From My Mistakes

Are you feeling burned out, as though the weight of the world is on your shoulders? Today I’ll be sharing everything I learned from my mistakes when it comes to making boundaries with people.

You’ve tried so hard to be nice. Now, though, things are catching up to you and you still see no reward. Your boss never gave you the promotion or recognition. The person you like still treats you like trash. Your family is only piling on more demands.

I think it’s pretty clear why we need boundaries:

For our own mental health

People who struggle with boundaries also often struggle with self-esteem. They believe they have to earn their way into someone’s heart by doing things for them, even at the cost of their own peace and time.

For our energy

When we are taking on too many tasks or carrying too many emotional burdens, we get exhausted. When we’re not rested, we aren’t helping anyone. We are often grumpy, not seeing situations clearly, and lacking in joy. Rest is so important, yet often put at the back-burner, and neglected when we take on too much.

For our relationships

Any good relationship of any kind deserves to be built on respect. But if one person acts like the workhorse of another, then there certainly isn’t respect happening. But it’s not just the person without boundaries who’s lacking respect. It’s also the person doing all the work. When we don’t make boundaries, we get annoyed at the people we are serving, and resent them more and more over time.

How Making Boundaries Changed My Life

I’ll be honest–I used to be terrible at making boundaries! Especially at church, because I thought it was wrong to say no to good opportunities. But the truth is, there will always be some opportunities that seem good, but just aren’t meant for us. Even now, I occasionally struggle, but I have grown a lot from my mistakes. Hopefully you won’t have to make the same ones as me, but if you have already, perhaps this will help you learn from your mistakes too.

Mistake #1: Repaying, and Repaying, and Repaying…

We all have that one person in our lives. You know the one. They act all friendly when they want something, eager to do anything for you. But then, once they do one favor for you, suddenly you’re indebted to them for life!

I’ve had this happen to me on multiple occasions, but most recently it occurred with a person at my church. She was a great help to me by offering to assist me in my college search and giving me wise advice. She even gave me some experiences I lacked in my college application process that required her time and energy. When I ended up choosing the college she recommended, I felt even more grateful to her.

However, we had a meeting shortly after this happened, where she asked me to help with three different ministries. I love all three of them– children’s ministry, youth ministry, and the host team. I wanted to help with all of them, and I had planned on helping with two. Yet, I was feeling swamped between my new job and demanding course load, which I had already told her about. But because she had done so much for me, the least I could do was agree to these commitments, right?

As I began to work more with her, my joy and affection for my church dwindled. I hardly ever got to listen to the sermon. I was frustrated working under her because I found out she wasn’t clear on giving directions or generous with appreciation. The other leaders I was working with were cold towards me. The students in one ministry seemed more interested in their phones than in even answering “how are you?”.

The worst part was that I blamed myself. The truth was, I could’ve said no. I could’ve told her I only had time to be involved in one or two of those ministries. Then perhaps I would’ve enjoyed my time at church more and would’ve connected more deeply to the people I was serving. I was also irritated that her sacrifice of one day to help me had to be repaid with an entire year’s worth of service.

It’s easy to get pressured into saying yes when we feel guilty for someone else helping us. But we always have to make decisions with the right intentions. Serving in ministry is a wonderful thing, but even that can be done for the wrong reasons. Same with other tasks that seem like good or kind things. You will enjoy life to the fullest when you start saying yes because Jesus tells you to rather than out of obligation.

Mistake #2: Trying to Be Someone’s Hero

Let’s be honest, the easiest way to boost our self-esteem is when we find someone who is immediately drawn to us and wants us to rescue them from their difficulties. We want to be their only source of assistance and advice. We want to be the one they rely on.

But the truth is, besides the fact that should never try taking the place of God, it’s also incredibly exhausting playing “hero”. When we don’t live up to our own expectations, we feel like failures. It discourages us from reaching out in the future. If the person suddenly doesn’t need us anymore, then we feel resentful towards them, feeling betrayed.

I have tried being someone’s “hero” before, but I actually learned this lesson best when someone else tried to be my hero.

A few years ago, I was in a difficult place. I didn’t have very many friends or people to confide in. I never stood up for myself. Then came along an older friend who was more than willing to listen, hang out with me, and introduce me to others. She would say how similar we were to each other, which now I wonder was her way of reassuring herself that her influence over me was working.

I believe she honestly thought she had good intentions. She cared about me and wanted me to feel connected. But not connected without her.

After growing a lot as a person, I began expressing my own views, taking on leadership positions, and making new friends. I wasn’t telling her my deepest fears or secrets anymore. I had new people to share things with or I was able to process things with God. I didn’t need her in the sense that I was dependent on her anymore. I obviously wanted to stay friends with her, and at the time, I hadn’t realized I was her “project”.

I found that out the hard way when we butted heads on a very personal issue, a decision I wanted to make that truly didn’t involve her. However, she had probed until I told her about it, and suddenly she wanted to take over. What shocked her the most was when I disagreed with her. I was no longer this “infant” who needed to be guided, babied, and nurtured. Instead, I was her equal, a person who had her own views and could handle herself.

The thing we argued about came and went. I’m sure I’ll even forget about it eventually. But the thing I’ll never forget is how hurt I was when I realized our friendship was built on her desire to be my savior rather than my companion.

If you really care about someone, don’t try to be their hero. Instead, point them to the only one who can really save them: Jesus.

Mistake #3: Pleasing the Wrong Person

I’ve mentioned people-pleasing many times, and that’s because I struggle with it a lot. I’ve talked myself into believing that nothing can compare to the burst of joy I feel when making someone happy, even when it’s at the cost of my own well-being or my faith.

I have so many instances of people-pleasing that we could be here all day. However, I’ll share of when I felt most convicted about it.

My mom and I were discussing a few responsibilities we had taken on and how we felt we couldn’t speak up on issues we felt passionately about for fear of angering the people we were working with. We’ve ruminated over this topic countless times, mostly because of how frustrated we feel.

Afterwards, I went to do my daily Bible reading, and I started the book of Galatians. Then right there, it was as though God was speaking right to me.

“If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Galatians 1:10

Whoa. To be honest, up until that point, I didn’t think the phrase “please people/people please” was even in the Bible! But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how right Paul was in this sentiment.

When we work towards pleasing people, whether by ignoring the way they talk about people we love, taking on too many of their unwanted tasks, or doing things for them that we wouldn’t normally do, we aren’t pleasing the one that we should care most about: Jesus. People pleasing can be an idol in our lives because we put people before Jesus. We can only have one master, will it be Jesus or the fear of displeasing others?

So Now What?

You might feel embarrassed or ashamed, but don’t be. It can take a long time before we realize we are valued enough by God to not seek validation from others. Sometimes it takes a lifetime to realize that. God understands our desire to make others feel loved, and sometimes that starts off by not having boundaries, and ends up being something healthier.

When discerning whether or not to say yes to something, ask God for His wisdom. He promises to give it out generously. Also ask yourself whether or not you need to trust Jesus if you say yes. If an experience will bring you closer to Him, then it is always worthwhile. But make sure you are still carving out time in your day to rest and spend time with God.

Here are a few books I’ve found helpful when it comes to making boundaries:

The Best Yes, by Lysa TerKeurst

Boundaries, by Henry Cloud

What Happens When Women Say Yes to God, by Lysa TerKeurst

The lot is cast into the lap,
But its every decision is from the Lord.
Proverbs 16:33

But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.
Joshua 24:15

No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other.
Matthew 6:24

Why You Don’t Have What You Want

Are you upset right now because you don’t have something that you believe is meant for you? Here is some encouragement.

What is it that you want most in life? A different job? A significant other? A deeper relationship with Jesus?

If I were to ask you why you don’t have that thing, you’d likely come up with a plethora of reasons. Perhaps you don’t believe you’re qualified or attractive enough. Maybe you believe only a theology degree can get you an intimate relationship with Christ.

Though those answers may sound convincing, the truth is, there are two reasons why we don’t have what we want.

The first is pretty self-explanatory: It isn’t meant for us. Sometimes that person who seems perfect is actually the one who would’ve broken your heart had God allowed them to be in your life. Maybe that job isn’t the one that would help you witness to the most people. Whatever the reason may be, Jesus knows it’s better for us to have something or someone else.

The second reason gets a little more complicated: fear.

Did you know that you are at least 20% more attractive than you feel? That’s because we allow ourselves to believe the lie that we aren’t beautiful. In fact, it’s almost easier to believe that we are unattractive than admit that we are created in God’s image. It’s also easier to hide behind the idea that you aren’t good enough or attractive enough to talk to the person you like rather than admit your true feelings.

The same goes for other goals in life. We often say we aren’t qualified rather than go back to school and learn. We would rather say we don’t know than spend time in the Bible finding the answers.

This isn’t laziness– it’s fear.

We fear rejection. We fear conviction. We fear judgement.

I believe that there are two main things that separate people from God: fear and pride. When we cling onto our fears, we forget the truth, that God has a wonderful plan for us and that He can do anything. We believe that we are on our own, with no one there to save us. But actually God has an amazing plan for you and He can use you to do remarkable things.

The saddest thing about fear is that it keeps us from reaching out to others. Have you ever thought about how incredible it felt when someone expressed their appreciation to you or wanted to get to know you? Then how come it’s so hard to reciprocate that action to someone we don’t know very well? Because of fear. We don’t know their reaction.

God doesn’t promise to tell us the results before He calls us to do something. You might experience humiliation or defeat. But in the long run, it will be worth it, because you will have no regrets. You will know that you did what God wanted you to, and that feeling is enough to bring you peace.

Today, ask yourself if there are any practical steps you can take in getting what you want. If God has made it clear to you that this isn’t what’s right for your life, then step away and trust that something better is in store. But if God is calling you to take a leap of faith, then do it. Reach out, share your feelings, learn something new.

We can’t comprehend the incredible things God is doing through us. That’s why we just have to take it on faith and trust the results with Him.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
1 John 4:18

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34

Why Do I Write?

I’ll be sharing what inspires me to write, as well as how important it is to shine our light to the world!

Recently, I shared how important it is to ask ourselves “why” every now and then. Though intentions aren’t the same as actions, (no one will know if you brought a meal over to your friend because you felt sympathy towards them or you wanted to get rid of old food), intentions do make a world of difference. Asking “why” can help us during the decision making process as well.

Over the past year, I’ve been asking myself, “Why do I write?” I’ve been asked this question, or rather, “Why do I want to be an English major?”, many times. Often the ones asking me this question are disappointed I didn’t become a pastor or a teacher (what they all predicted I would be), or they have genuine curiosity.

When God calls us to do something, we shouldn’t feel the need to justify it to others. However, for our own personal reasons, we should explore why God calls us to certain endeavors.

So, since you all have come with me on my writing journey, I thought I’d share why I write!

Why do I write?

If you had asked me this question a few years ago, my honest answer would’ve been quite…vain. I never felt listened to growing up, and the only way I felt seen was through my writing. I wanted to be a famous author to prove everyone wrong. “Hannah Chung can do things! She isn’t this quiet kid in the back of the room without thoughts and feelings of her own!”

If you haven’t believed I’ve been completely honest until now, hopefully that confession brings confirmation that yes, I am telling all the embarrassing details of my life! 🙂

Two years ago, when I experienced a spiritual revival, my reason for writing changed. I used prayer journaling as a way of processing grief and dark feelings. That brought me closer to God and changed the my “writing voice”.

I’m an definitely in a much different place than I was two years ago. Writing restores my hope and nourishes my soul. When I put my pen to paper, the world fades around me, and it’s just me and God. I’ve witnessed people living under the radar of others and I want to give them a voice. For all the years I felt unseen, I want to spend now making others seen.

Last summer, I was under the false belief that people had to be pastors in order to minister to others. Perhaps that’s why I wanted to be a pastor, because I wanted to dedicate my life to God. Though my passion was (and is) writing.

But that’s not true. We can be a teacher and show children God’s love. We can be an accountant and show someone God’s grace. We can be a lawyer and show someone God’s mercy. And yes, we can be a writer and show someone God’s understanding. We might be the only Jesus a person sees and we can demonstrate His attributes in any profession.

All those reasons contribute to why I write, but the main reason is this: I am closest to Jesus when I am inspired.

I can’t really explain how it feels, but I’ll do my best. When I’m inspired, it’s like a fire is burning within my chest, words and ideas, and most of all, love, fills my soul. I have a new understanding of life. Things just make sense. It’s like fitting the last puzzle piece into the puzzle. Everything clicks. My fingers can fly across the keyboard fast enough. I feel physically lighter as I pour out the feelings and ideas Jesus gives me onto blank pages.

I find my inspiration most often when I’m experiencing difficulties. Several years ago, I had a dry season, lacking inspiration, and I almost considered giving up writing. But then it felt like the world was crashing all around me. Everything I had believed in was gone. All except Jesus’ love.

And that’s when I knew I had to reach others the way Jesus has reached me.

I may not be the most popular person, I likely won’t end up being famous. I don’t have a thousand or even a hundred readers. But I cherish each and every one of you. Even on the posts that don’t have any likes, I feel fulfilled because at least I have done my part to share what Jesus has taught me.

When we set a fire, it spreads. We must be a light in the world, not hidden under a lamp shade, but spreading to everyone, even those in the dark crevesses.

How will you shine your light today?

You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.
Matthew 5:14-16

Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, “I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life.”
John 8:12

Three Minutes

Do you ever doubt your purpose? This post is for anyone who’s ever struggled to understand why they’re here.

I’m sure we’ve all hit a point in our lives where we doubt our purpose. We go to God and ask, “Why am I here, God? I mean, why am I really here?”

As much as I talk about purpose, I’ve had my fair share of doubts about mine. When things don’t happen in the amount of time I expect, I get panicky. When “everyone else” seems to have it all together, I wonder if I’m too different to be useful.

Time is such a critical thing. Though we often spend hours on our phones scrolling through social media, we fear our lives ending before we’ve done anything noteworthy. There are so many people on Earth, how can we stand out? How can we be remembered? Or really, how can we avoid being forgotten?

Switching topics momentarily, has there ever been a song that’s changed your life? I don’t just mean a bop, but a song that truly changed the way you view life?

For me, it’s Rescue, by Lauren Daigle.

The first time I paid attention to the lyrics, I was at my lowest. I was doubting my worth, my purpose. I truly didn’t believe I belonged here.

Standing out in the rain, the darkening sky seemed to reflect my heart, my state of mind. I asked God if anyone truly saw me. Did anyone even care?

That’s when God’s voice, spoken through Lauren Daigle, whispered in my ears, “You are not hidden. There’s never been a moment you were forgotten”.

I’ve heard so many stories from K-Love of how a song inspired them or brought them closer to God. If you haven’t already found a song, perhaps a song will meet you in the future.

But just think–three minutes, that’s all it takes to change a life. Three minutes of repeated lyrics, a few background instruments, and a person hoping to change the world. Or maybe they don’t even have that desire. Perhaps it truly is just God doing His work through the unexpected.

I’m sure you’ve all heard of FOMO–the fear of missing out–and have experienced it at one time or another. I often suffer from it, though less than before. Yet God has shown me time and again how everything is in His perfect timing.

That same year of when Rescue touched my life, I experienced a major car accident. Leading up to the accident, I didn’t really value my life. I felt replaceable, a hopeless cause. Sure, my view of life was improving, but life took its ups and downs, particularly downs during that time.

But then it happened, when I least expected it. I didn’t see the car coming and I made the turn. Hit in the side, we spun around for several moments before I came-to. Had I been hit even seconds earlier, I might’ve died, or at least experienced worse side effects.

I experienced many mental side effects from the accident, which I’ve shared here before. But I only had two scars, one of which has gone away, and the other a permanent reminder of how God chose to save me.

I believe we are fulfilling our purposes up until our last breath. But God gets to decide when that last breath is taken. It’s taken years for me to come to terms with the truth that God really does have a purpose for me and for the pain that He allows us to go through. But just as a parent allows their kids to learn the hard way sometimes because they love them, God allows us to go through difficulties because He loves us too. In fact, those difficulties often end up reminding us of His love.

Life can change in a split second. That used to frighten me. But when we remember that God is the one in control of time, that time is no barrier for Him, we can have peace about whatever comes next.

Just think–God can work through a simple sentence on a post, a three minute song on the radio, a letter in the mail…He created the entire world in a week! So of course He can and will work through you.

Never give up. You are needed here. ❤

Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders which You have done,
And Your thoughts toward us;
There is none to compare with You.
If I would declare and speak of them,
They would be too numerous to count.
Psalm 40:5

Here is a song by Riley Clemmons which has encouraged me when life doesn’t go the way I expect. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Link: https://youtu.be/0GCgg1PMnqg

Caught Up in the Moment

If you are experiencing frustration with how your life is taking a different course than you imagined, then this article is for you.

It’s easy to look back and laugh at our old dreams. Sometimes “old” refers to childhood or even just a few weeks ago. But when we’re in the heat of the moment, it’s nearly impossible to understand how God’s plan can differ from our own.

You know how they say taking a day off can clear the mind? Well, now I believe that.

In many ways, 2020-2021 has been our time of getting “away from normal life”. I mean, come on, “normal” hasn’t been allowed for a year and is just getting reintroduced now!

From most of the people I’ve talked to, this past year has actually brought them closer to God because they have more time to spend with Him. I’d also bet it’s because we’re forced to trust Him now that our plans have been thrown up in the air.

At first, 2020-2021 was a time for much needed space. I distanced myself from certain people, I took new opportunities when they came up, and I grew closer to God.

But then the “unusual year” started feeling like a new normal. Over the last few months, I’ve been caught up in my new desires…and fears. I’ve created a new plan, adapted by my new life, and I’ve begun to prioritize those things over the truths God has shown me throughout my life.

Over the weekend, I took my first day off from work to spend time with relatives who were visiting. While I wouldn’t say the weekend was restful, it gave me perspective.

Even when distanced from my situation for a few days, the things that I clung so tightly to no longer seemed significant. Sure, they still mattered, but they no longer needed to be thought about during every spare moment.

Of course, there’s never a season of life, even when that season consists of a few days, where you have no desires. Sure enough, my imagination ran wild with new possibilities and desires for my future. But this time, as I experience both excitement and disappointment, I’m remembering this truth that God continues to bring to mind:

Our feelings are fleeting. They matter, they exist, they are normal. But they should not control our lives. That’s why God is in control. He has a perfect plan, and if things don’t happen the way I want them to, I have to remember that while my priorities will change, His never will.

Think about that one thing that you wish you could change. That person’s response, that missed opportunity, that mistake.

I know it’s hard…painful even. But what if that had to happen so that you’ll experience something greater?

God knows more than what we do. He knows what people say about us when we aren’t around. He knows how that person would’ve treated us had He kept them in our lives. He knows what are gifts are and how we can use them most effectively. God knows.

It’s easy to forget who God is. God created us, for goodness sake! He understands us far more deeply than any person can. He remembers us and puts our needs in top priority. Most people can’t even remember to ask how we’re doing, but God goes to great lengths–the greatest lengths!–to get in touch with us.

God loves you so much. I know you’ve heard it before, but let the words sink in this time. Love means putting the other person first. God does not benefit from your suffering. He does not cause your suffering. He just allows what needs to happen take place in order to help us grow. Our life down here is so short. Then we will spend eternity with Him forever!

So today, instead of being caught up in the moment, take some space away from the things burdening your heart. Ask God for perspective on your situation and clarity for what He wants you to do with your life.

Always remember: You have the ability to make a difference in people’s lives.

For the Lord searches all hearts, and understands every intent of the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will let you find Him; but if you forsake Him, He will reject you forever.
1 Chronicles 28:9

Lord, all my desire is before You;
And my sighing is not hidden from You.
Psalm 38:9

Every man’s way is right in his own eyes,
But the Lord weighs the hearts.
Proverbs 21:2

Morning Thoughts

Sharing a new podcast episode with you all! I hope it encourages you and causes you to reflect on your purpose.

Good morning! I am excited to share another episode of The Will to Wake Up podcast! Enjoy my morning ramblings and let me know how you’re doing!

Link: https://anchor.fm/hannah-chung4/episodes/Morning-Thoughts-e12lb8e

For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.
Colossians 1:16

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11

Life Hack #2: God’s Will Requires Trusting Him

Do you struggle with knowing what God’s will is for your life? In Life Hack #2, we’ll see that God’s will requires trusting Him.

One of the toughest parts of being a follower of Christ is figuring out God’s will, especially during the monumental stages of life, like picking a career, a spouse, or location to live in. I’m not an expert in God’s will, but I have learned a lot through my own faith journey, particularly over the past year as I’ve been choosing a career path.

Life Hack #2: God’s Will Requires Trusting Him

If you feel like a failure for not knowing God’s will for your life, I understand where you’re coming from. First of all, you’re not. There’s a reason why there are so many theologians and books about the Bible out there. We’re all trying to figure it out and helping each other in the process.

Perhaps you’ve been in the same place I’ve been: Sitting at a desk, standing out in the street, staring across the table…deep in thought. Mind racing, heart beating rapidly, palms sweaty. The decision is due by such-and-such date, yet you still haven’t heard God’s divine voice from Heaven tell you exactly what you need to do.

Sure, you’ve read the Bible, flipping to the concordance to see any words matching your current situation. You’ve talked to countless mentors and friends, all who’ve given you the same advice: Just do God’s will and the rest will fall into place.

But what even is God’s will?

If you want to get specific, our goal as workers for God is bringing more and more people into relationship with Him. Not for the sake of numbers, but because having a relationship with Jesus cultivates love, compassion, and purpose, as well as eternal life.

But that still doesn’t clear things up, does it? Debating whether or not to go on a date with someone or choosing between two careers that weren’t even invented in biblical times won’t get clear-cut answers from the Bible’s definition of God’s will.

One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever been given was this: You’ll know if you’re doing God’s will when you’re required to trust Him through the situation.

That means that things that are challenging are often part of God’s will for us because He’s giving us no excuse but to trust Him. He’s strengthening our faith.

A wise person once said, “If you ask God for patience, don’t be surprised when He places you in a difficult relationship or situation. If you ask God for peace, don’t be surprised when people you’ve been trying to hold onto are taken out of your life.”

The point is, we often doubt we’re doing God’s will when “everything goes wrong”. But a lot of times, those are the moments God is using to bring us closer to Him, to teach us things. When we realize that God is using every choice we make to help us grow, we won’t be as inclined to doubt ourselves.

Reflection

Is there a difficult decision you’re trying to make? Will one option bring you closer to God than the other? What is God trying to teach you through this?

No matter what you choose, God will work through the situation. The most important thing to do is give you life to Jesus, and He will work all things according to His purpose.

For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.
Philippians 2:13

Many plans are in a man’s heart,
But the counsel of the Lord will stand.
Proverbs 19:21

In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:18

Life Hack #1: Always Do the “Kind” Thing

Starting a new series on life hacks! Today’s life hack: Always do the kind thing.

I always hated it when, after sharing a long, complicated dilema with a trusted person, I’d get the advice, “Just always do the right thing”. What’s right? How is that helpful?

When figuring out my major last summer, I came across the same issue and same unhelpful advice. “Just do what God wants you to do”. Well, how do I know what that is?

My second time ever speaking in front of my church, I was giving a speech on “Life Hacks” from the Fruits of the Spirit. Through this new series, named appropriately enough, “Life Hacks”, I will be sharing some (hopefully) actually helpful advice when it comes to making decisions. Ultimately, there will never be 100% confirmation that we did what God wanted us to do unless we hear His thundering voice (or still whisper). But the Bible (and life experiences) can give us some clear indicators on knowing we’re working for Jesus.

Life Hack #1: Always do the “kind” thing.

This might sound like a remix of “always do the right thing”, but hear me out. Deep in our hearts, we know when an action is kind or not. We know the place from which our actions spur out of. Only you and God know if you gave that person a gift because you loved them or you expected something back. Only you two know if you donated out of sympathy or obligation.

It’s hard knowing when something’s “right” or not. A lot of times we end up trusting our gut or trying to apply Biblical wisdom to the situation. Both are good, especially going to God’s word. But a sure-proof way of knowing whether or not an action will potentially leave a powerful lasting impact is asking yourself if it’s showing another person kindness.

It sounds a lot easier than it really is. Sometimes, we just want our opinion out there, so we choose to send the sharply worded text rather than sharing an encouraging post. Or being kind requires sacrifice. Maybe it means getting a “bad” reputation or dealing with a person who isn’t liked by society. It could be financial sacrifice too, like trusting God with the bills in order to donate to charity or tithe. Perhaps it’s just getting off the couch after a long day to make dinner for someone else.

But let me tell you something: Whatever the sacrifice, it’s worth it.

On Sunday, I was given the opportunity to show kindness to a family grieving. It was a simple gesture, didn’t require much sacrifice on my part. But the hot, muggy weather was getting to me. I considered just sending a text instead of bringing my freshly baked cookies and card over.

However, I listened to the Holy Spirit, knowing this was truly not a big sacrifice at all in exchange for bringing others joy. And I am so thankful I made the extra effort. It ended up benefiting me as much as it did them. In the moment, I had a meaningful connection. After the fact, I learned that they would be moving soon, and this might’ve been one of my last opportunities to reach out to them.

God knows so much more than we do. Actually, He knows everything. So take His word for it when He tells you to do something that doesn’t make sense, especially when it comes to reaching out and encouraging others.

Jesus knows all about sacrifice. He sacrificed His reputation to dine among “sinners”. He humbled Himself by surrounding Himself with “the least of these”. He sacrificed His own life to save us. Jesus is the definition of kind.

Reflection

Is there someone God’s placing on your heart today? Someone who needs an extra bit of kindness, a tender word or a sweet gesture of appreciation?

I often think back to a powerful quote I read, “Be kind, everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about” (Wendy Mass). Only God knows everyone’s full story, and the only way to get to know someone better is to be kind to them.

And who knows? You might be unexpectedly blessed in the process too.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-5

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 4:29

How Self-Control Can Change Our Relationships

Do you need to see humanity in a new light? Here’s some encouragement.

While listening to First, by Lauren Daigle, I made the mistake of scrolling through the comments. Sometimes I come across an inspirational story or a timely Bible verse this way. The first comment was made by a young fan who compared Lauren Daigle to a pop singer, saying that Lauren Daigle was the better version because she’s a gospel singer. The way the fan expressed her appreciation for Lauren Daigle was sweet and not demeaning in the least. However, in the responses to this comment, there is a very lengthy disagreement that started out somewhat innocent and ended up being long, hurtful paragraphs against each other. As I got caught up in reading their argument, the song suddenly ended, and I hadn’t really heard any of it. I minimized the comments, replayed the song, and realized I needed to blog about this.

Both of those people missed opportunities to show God’s love to others. One used verses to condemn; another claimed that love was the only thing that mattered, yet nothing else they said was loving. Hypocrisy is a huge turn-off for unbelievers, and for good reason. When we don’t follow through with what we claim to believe, then what’s the incentive for others to want what we have: faith?

When we get obsessed about the little things, the inconveniences of life, we miss out on the beauty of it. More importantly, when we let worldly things get to us, like an insensitive person or even a confused one, we miss out on being good witnesses for Jesus. We lose sight of what’s really important. I am legitimately terrified that Internet arguments are going to be the biggest factor in deterring people from Jesus in this generation. They may already be.

I read an essay the other day talking about how people turn into wild animals when behind the wheel. They spew out language they never would utter under normal circumstances, but when road rage captures them…oh boy…

Screens have the same effect as a windshield. We feel protected, hidden. We don’t even know the people on the other side of the screen, yet we feel free to call them hurtful names and assume they are monsters. But guess what? At the end of the day, we are all still human. We all have those moments of setting down our phone, crying over something a stranger on the Internet said. We are real, and so are they.

Self-control is so underrated these days. We want to have control over other people, but guess what, we don’t. The only one we have control over is ourselves. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, one of the key factors in people knowing we’re living for Jesus.

Self-control isn’t just being patient or understanding. Self-control is refraining from arguing with a stranger on social media. It’s not sharing that insensitive post that made you laugh. It’s taking the time to think before clicking send or responding to others in person. It’s allowing Jesus to take control, really.

If you want to see humanity in a new, better light, then exercise self-control. Listen to others. Put yourself in their shoes. Allow your eyes to be washed clean and restored. When a blind man asked Jesus for healing, instead of snapping His fingers and saying, “You can see now”, He made a paste using spit and mud and put that on the man’s eyes instead. He made him go through a process in order to really have new sight, and the man was healed.

Today, ask for Jesus to give you a fresh outlook on the world. Sometimes, it takes going through something messy or gross, like mud-spit, before we can really understand people the way Jesus does. But you know what? It’s always worth it.

Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.
Proverbs 16:32

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 18:21

The Reason for Life

Do you ever wonder why you’re here? Here’s some encouragement.

Spending time with horses has taught me about overcoming fear, trusting others, and building relationships. But one of the greatest takeaways from spending time at the barn is an expression my instructor uses frequently: Where you look is where you’ll go.

In the horse world (and driving world, I’ve learned), this literally means that where your eyes are, that’s where you’ll end up. Horses can sense what you’re focused on and how you’re feeling, which is partially why this happens. But the main reason is that when we are focused on something, the rest of our body follows suite to get us there. We often don’t notice these subtle changes, like turning our hands or shifting our weight to one side. But our horses notice, and eventually if we’re focused on the wrong thing, we’ll notice too.

Part of my job with working with riders is taking the beginner riders on the longe line, which is this long rope that goes from the horse’s head to me. If the horse is too close to me, then he won’t go, but if he’s too far away, then I am no longer in control. This can be an issue since kids on the longe line are practicing riding without reins to get muscle control and build their core, as well as their courage. They rely on me to keep them safe, yet they have to do their part too by keeping their horse at the right distance away.

Occasionally, (okay, often), a young rider gets distracted by the other, more advanced riders out in the arena. They are looking at them instead of looking ahead in the direction they need to go. That allows the horse to take the opportunity to go where he isn’t supposed to, often ending up in a frustrating situation for all of us.

If you’re not a horse-person and you’ve stuck with me this far, great job! I promise this leads somewhere. You see, I’ve come to learn that “where you look is where you go” applies to life too. I mean, sometimes we wish this literally was the case, since then we wouldn’t have to walk anywhere, we could just appear there. But when it comes to goals, if we get distracted, we will never get to where we want to go.

More importantly, when we don’t focus on Jesus, our lives go off-course. I’ve talked about focusing on Jesus countless times, because that’s the only way to have a fulfilling life. When Jesus gets taken out of the picture, the reason behind our existence disappears too.

My friend and I were discussing the meaning of life a couple months ago. (A light topic, I know) When I really get into a conversation, I say whatever comes to me without thinking through it, which can sometimes be a good thing, actually. I told her that if we didn’t have a purpose in life (aka living for Jesus, fulfilling His will) then we wouldn’t want to life. She gave me a startled look and clarified, “So if I didn’t know my purpose, I would just want to die?”

I thought for a moment. Was that really what I meant?

Maybe it actually was.

You see, whether you realize it or not, we spend our entire lives searching for our purpose. When we finally figure things out, we realize that “knowing our purpose” isn’t having some step-by-step formula of how we want life to go. It doesn’t have to be knowing our career path or who we’ll end up with. It just means realizing our purpose is found in relationship with Jesus. Apart from that, we live empty, shallow lives.

So if you’re freaking out because you don’t have answers, don’t be scared. No one has all the answers. We may never have all the answers on this side of Heaven. But as long as you are relentlessly pursuing Jesus, you will find your purpose, I can promise you that.

You are here for a reason. You are loved.

Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. ³For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. ⁴When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.
Colossians 3:2-4