Enduring Pain

If you feel stuck, trying to figure out if there is any good that can come from your pain, keep reading.

A random skill that most people wouldn’t know I have is being a pretty good back massager. You heard me right…and you’re probably wondering why you’re still reading!

Well, I’ll get to the point…soon. You know how we Nines love our stories 😉

My mom used to tell people that she had a daughter simply to get free back massages, and a small part of me occasionally wonders if that’s true considering the frequency at which she requests them. As humans age, as you may know from experience, they often experience muscle stiffness. Tonight I was helping my mom get a knot out of her back, and after the allotted time I had agreed to perform this service was up, I asked if she wanted me to continue. She laughed and replied, “I would like that, but I don’t think I can endure the pain.”

This part may not surprise you, if you know me at all. After she said that, I suddenly knew I had to blog. Not about muscles, weird skills, or getting old. But rather, about pain.

About a year ago, one of my first posts was about pain and how many people often use numbing mechanisms to avoid it. Little did I know that throughout this past year, I’ve struggled with dealing with my pain and negative emotions. I often choose to not feel things, but then that includes the positive, happy memories as well.

I think avoiding pain can be one of our biggest mistakes in life. The longer we avoid the pain, the longer we avoid the good that can come out of that pain. God does not take us through difficult seasons without a reason. He knows that there’s something better at the end, but we just have to persevere. And sometimes that means trying something again that may have previously hurt us.

Now, I’m not telling you to go and let people walk all over you. I don’t want you to get into a dangerous situation or go backwards on a process towards good health. But if God is calling you to try something again, whether it’s a relationship, a career, a hobby, or perhaps even just diving back in your Bible, then you should go for it.

We love making excuses as to why we can’t possibly embrace our pain. We tell ourselves that we can’t endure it. And we’re right, we can’t.

At least, we can’t alone.

But God is always with us and He will give us the strength to get through anything.

I’ve seen so many people go through things I could never imagine going through with such bravery. They continue to live for God, they continue to go about their daily lives, and they will still be heroes, such strong people, in my eyes when they admit their pain and sorrow.

Don’t allow fear of people’s reactions to affect how you grieve, whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or a forgotten dream. The ones who are meant to be in your life and really care about you will give you the space to feel what you need to feel.

I know it’s hard trying again. I know it’s hard doing what God calls us to do. I’m not going to sit here and expect you to suddenly change your life or do things that risk heartbreak alone. I’m going to try to get out of my comfort zone and figure out my emotions as well, in a healthy way.

I know that we can both get through whatever life throws at us because we are empowered by our Creator. God loves us and designed us to need Him, and when we turn to Him, we will overflow with His grace, courage, and perseverance.

I’ll be praying for you. Don’t give up. ❤

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

James 1:2

Admit What You Need

Admit it when you need help in order to build better relationships– both with God and with loved ones.

A lot of times I hide how I feel or what I need because I don’t want to bother others. At least, that’s what I often tell myself when justifying not reaching out.

But another major reason why I’m hesitant to reach out to people with my desires is because I don’t want to admit that I’m weak, insufficient, and not completely capable of everything. I don’t want to crush this false illusion in my mind that I’ve somehow proven to others that I am basically inhuman in my abilities to be self-sufficient.

This only hurts my relationships with others, and this mindset of not wanting to be vulnerable hurts our relationship with God too.

Let’s be honest, some people truly don’t want to see our less-than-perfect side. They only want us when we can help them.

But God isn’t like that. Not one little bit.

He wants our ENTIRE heart. He wants the brokenness because only He can make it beautiful. He wants to comfort us. He wants to sustain us. He wants to give us strength.

But He isn’t going to arrive uninvited. We have to let Him in if we want His help.

The same goes for people. If we act like nothing is wrong, then people will assume we are fine. We need to be willing to be human in order to get the help that we need. We have to be vulnerable in order for others to feel truly comfortable with us.

Not only does this help us, but it strengthens our relationships, both with people and with God.

We show God that we are willing to allow Him to use all the areas of our life, including the things we’d rather leave unexposed.

So today, allow the people who really care about you into your life, both the good and bad. Tell them if you need something, and be willing to let them be vulnerable with you too.

In addition, think about the areas of your life where you’ve held back from showing your true self to God. Ask Him to show you the areas where you need to let go and allow Him to take over. God will help you through any struggle you are going through, as long as you let Him in.

More than anything, remember that you are never a burden. You don’t have to always be strong. Allow yourself to be immersed in the love and comfort that God and your loved ones want to give you.

You are enough.

For he has not despised or scorned

    the suffering of the afflicted one;

he has not hidden his face from him

    but has listened to his cry for help.

Psalm 22:24

Just a Little Thing

I was inspired by the newest member of my family for this post– Rocky. He’s a two month old puppy who is anything but obedient. He is incredibly dramatic, playful, energetic, smart, and strong-willed. We love him, but it’s very frustrating when he doesn’t understand why we want him to do certain things, like oh I don’t know, maybe use the bathroom outside or not chew up things that don’t belong to him…!?

Sometimes we have to put Rocky in the crate in order to give him alone time to think about what he did wrong and why he needs us to train him. He hates it, but generally he feels better when he calms down and rests.

God gives us seasons where we are stuck (hello quarantine) or unable to fully function the way we want to. Other times, He might cause us to take the time to realize we need to turn to God alone, and not other sources of distraction. It’s up to us, though, whether we will grow and be able to move on from those seasons, or if we will scream and fight our way out.

Rocky is only four pounds and it’s pretty funny (although it gets old really fast) when he tries bossing us around, especially during mealtime. He thinks he deserves things that may hurt him or he isn’t ready for yet. He doesn’t always realize the power we actually have over him and how tiny he truly is in the grand scheme of things.

I think I struggle with this a lot, and you might too. My feelings are so strong, my desires seeming to be so valid, that I forget how minuscule I am in comparison to this entire universe. I forget that I barely know anything next to the Creator of the world. I need to step back and appreciate what God is telling me to do, because He, just like with us for our puppy, wants the best for us. He doesn’t want us to get hurt, but He may allow us to have difficulties in order to learn from them.

Today I challenge you to step back from a world centered around yourself. Instead, think about what God might have for you and what He is calling you to do. We all have a greater purpose that allows us to have a bigger impact.

Whether one door closes or another is opening, God has a plan for everything. We may not understand why things are happening the way they are right now, but eventually I hope you can see that God has been with you and will be with you every step of the way. You can have hope and comfort in the fact that God is in control of your life, no one else.

You will be taken care of.

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

The One or the Ninety-Nine

How often do you care about doing the “right” thing above all else?

I don’t know about you, but for most of my life, I’ve tried doing the “right” thing. And I have a lot of concern for the people who don’t seem to be doing the “right” thing. I spend a lot of time worrying about them and their relationship with God.

But over the last few days, I’ve been reminded of something so important. It’s often the people who stray away from God who have the best stories, who have that true commitment when they do believe. They are the ones who can later say without an ounce of doubt that Jesus forgives and Jesus saves.

Of course I’m not encouraging you to turn away from God in the hopes that He will call you back again and you’ll have an awesome story to share with people. I think it has to happen naturally, and God wants us to follow His commands and go after the lost sheep with Him.

But I think that remembering how God rejoices over the ones who had to be found in the painful thicket and how God is willing to fight for us can give us hope. We don’t have to feel shame when we have been forgiven. We don’t have to dwell on past mistakes because God uses those to draw us and others closer to Him. We can use our past or present sufferings in order to relate to others and make them realize that we aren’t some elitist group. And we don’t have to worry about the ones who have “gone astray”. We have to realize that it’s not our job telling them what to do or be. We just need to be there for them and pray for them and realize that we may have been one of them.

There are different points in our lives where we are either the “one” Jesus is hunting down or part of the righteous “ninety-nine”. It can be hard being in either category, because sometimes when we are the “one”, we are lost and desperate for something better. But once we are found, there is so much love and celebration!

When we are in the “ninety-nine”, we are growing and becoming the people we were made to be. But it can also feel like we’re stuck in a trap, sometimes it feels like Christianity is just a book of rules and not a real relationship. But if we are able to balance both the way we need to live and our fellowship with Jesus and other believers, we can celebrate no matter what part of the journey we are on.

So today, I hope you can have a little bit of the burden lifted off your shoulders, whether you are feeling as though you can’t get out of a lifestyle without God, or if you are worried about the lost sheep in your life. You can get through this. You can become the person you were made to be. But you need to trust that God has a plan for every one of His children, and it’s just up to you to follow Him and believe.

“And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.'”

~Luke 15:5-6