Relationships – Page 6 – The Will to Wake Up

When Saying “No” is Kinder Than Saying “Yes”

What if saying “no” actually improves your relationships?

Have you ever been in a situation where you are with a loved one and they ask you for a favor or want to do an activity with you? Even though you don’t really want to or lack the time and energy for it, you still say yes?

You rationalize this yes with “If I say no, then I’ll be hurting their feelings” or “I’m not a good friend/family member if I say no”. You may have even been taught that “no” isn’t allowed.

But the truth is, being able to say “no” is the key to having healthy relationships.

Slip into their shoes for a minute: Wouldn’t you rather have them be honest with you than go along pretending that they are interested, just for you to find out later that they only came out of obligation?

Plus, the more times you say yes to things you don’t want to do, the harder it will be to say no in the future. Maybe this one little favor doesn’t seem like a big deal, but then it builds up to a weekly thing or ends up taking you away from causes you feel more passionately about.

Yes, your initial “no” may cause your loved one to be disappointed at first. However, if they are truly someone who cares about your wellbeing, then they won’t let your answers stop them from wanting to be in a relationship with you.

When you really care about someone, you’ll want to do whatever you can to be on good terms with them and make sure they feel loved by you. The best way to have a healthy relationship is to be upfront with them from the beginning. Then they know you are trustworthy and mean it when you say you love them.

A disclaimer is that the Holy Spirit’s voice always overrides our feelings. If you do feel called to help someone or spend extra time with a friend, it could be the Holy Spirit intentionally placing you in their life for reasons you do not yet know. But make sure that when you do say “yes”, you are doing it for the right reasons.

Unhealthy Yeses

You feel obligated
You want praise or validation in order to feel needed
You feel like you have to return a favor someone else gave you
You are burnt out, yet you feel like you need to add more to your plate
You know deep down that you shouldn’t say yes
You are dreading helping this person

Healthy Yeses

You genuinely want to help and may even feel more energetic after being there for this person
You can feel the Holy Spirit guiding you into this action
It would not stress or overwhelm you
You have peace about saying yes

Saying “no” can be uncomfortable at first. However, the more you do it, the easiest it will get. Your yeses will have more significance once they are truly what you want and bring you peace. The way you uniquely love others will blossom beautifully when built on honesty.

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.
Ephesians 4:25

The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.
Proverbs 11:3

One Step at a Time

Are you overwhelmed by the chaos of life?

First of all, can I just say how excited I am to be writing an Encouragement Thursday article this week? I have taken a break from them since moving and starting classes, but they bring me so much joy, especially when I get to hear how they’ve encouraged you.

You are the reason why I keep writing! (Apart from God’s calling of course ;)) So I’m very thankful to be able to be part of this community alongside you.

Anyway, back to the regularly scheduled program, the reason you originally clicked on this article! 🙂

What words come to mind when you think about fall? I think about the colorful leaves, the changing seasons, and the busyness that comes with all these changes.

When things get busy, it’s easy to get stuck in our heads. We get so focused on our goals and all the things we want to be or do and haven’t achieved yet. We forget to look around at the bright autumn leaves or feel the soothing drops of rain against our faces. When our fingers are wrapped around our dreams too tightly, we miss out on living in the present. In our minds, we are already in the future.

But living in future isn’t real, is it? This future that we’ve created for ourselves hasn’t happened. It may never happen. We get all stressed out about it, but it isn’t here yet.

And when we are so set on one idea of what our life is supposed to look like, we begin to lose our true passion and desire for it. It feels obligatory; do we really want this future or did we predestine it for ourselves?

Well, I have some good news. We can’t predestine anything. God is the One who has prepared the path ahead of us and when we listen to Him, our lives will begin to feel purposeful again.

Sometimes, we don’t take a break because we are avoiding something. Maybe we don’t feel ready to say goodbye so we bury ourselves in our work instead. Or perhaps we don’t want to accept that things are different, so we focus our energy on incorporating the past into the future.

We don’t want to feel weak, and for some strange reason, resting is seen as a weakness in our culture.

But here’s the thing: Jesus even demonstrated the need for rest.

I know you’re probably expecting me to bring up the 7th day of creation, but I actually found a new story that has resonated deeper with me on the subject of rest and processing grief.

Jesus was very close to his cousin, John the Baptist. John was the one preaching about Jesus, after all. Surely the tight-knit relationship between their mothers affected their bond as well. So when Jesus found out about his loved one dying a brutal death, it weighted heavily on Him.

I’ve heard the gruesome story of John’s death many times, but I never paid attention to Jesus’ response until rereading the story last night.

Here it is according to the gospel of Matthew:

When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place.
Matthew 14:13

Read that again. What did Jesus do? He withdrew privately to a solitary place. Jesus knew His limits. He knew that He needed to take the time to process His grief. He was aware of the need for rest and encourages us to follow in His footsteps.

And what did that rest do for Him?

When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.
Matthew 14:14

That’s right! It strengthened Him enough to continue healing others and even feed the five thousand later on in the passage.

When we are just going, going, going, we miss out on the opportunity to present our best selves. We can’t fully pour into others without first pouring into ourselves. The way to pour into ourselves is drinking the living water Jesus provides. Reading the Bible, praying, listening to encouraging music, journaling, participating in a life-giving hobby or activity…the list could go on. Simply being present no matter where you’re at.

I often struggle with wanting to go full-speed ahead into things…which leads to immediate burn out. Once things don’t happen at the speed I want them to, I get discouraged and question my calling and abilities. God doesn’t want us to do that. Instead, He wants us to be present where He’s calling us in the moment. Not in the future, because the future will come soon enough, but right where He wants us now.

Each day you are taking one step closer to where God wants you to be. But those steps don’t have to be giant leaps. They can be little, itty bitty steps. And that’s okay. In fact, that’s amazing. Just take life one step at a time, and it will begin to feel less overwhelming.

But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever,
the purposes of his heart through all generations.
Psalm 33:11

Take a Deep Breath

Have you been feeling burned out lately? Here is an invitation to rest and invite God’s peace to fill your troubled heart today.

Do you ever just feel…burned out?

Maybe everything is crumbling around you. Perhaps you have had an increased workload or a new person is in your life who demands a lot of your attention and energy. Or maybe things are just…normal?

Honestly, don’t feel bad if normal is exhausting. Especially now, life still amidst a pandemic, living in a world full of brokenness and selfishness and division.

But maybe that isn’t the whole world. Maybe, despite things feeling as though they are getting worse, there is still room for gentleness.

Last weekend was particularly rough for me. I won’t go into detail, but I witnessed the reality of our broken world. I felt powerless as people in need surrounded me and all I could do was take care of my own safety. And even then, I couldn’t protect a friend when she was harassed by a stranger. As I turned left and right, I saw how truly divided we have become. We think we’ve made progress in loving others and cultivating peace, but have we really? This weekend has planted an image in my mind of what Jesus meant when He described the evil we will face in the world.

Perhaps you’ve experienced something similar lately, a fresh slap of reality right in the face. It hurts, doesn’t it?

When you get hurt, it isn’t usually the initial contact that stings the most. It’s the sharpness that penetrates through your body until it’s all you can think about. It resonates deeply within you, leaving a lasting imprint. A scar that symbolizes a point in your journey.

But that is what it is–a point. It’s not the beginning, it’s not the end. It’s not the whole story. Your life has scars and it will get more scars as you keep going. But with every scar comes the rebuilding of skin, a healing process.

Though the healing process brings revival and joy back into your life, it doesn’t always feel beneficial at first. Be gentle with yourself as you take a look at what is causing the pain in your life. Change is hard and it’s important to just take it one step at a time.

Close your eyes for a moment and take a deep breath. Recently, I’ve seen the value of breath prayers, aligning your heart with God’s through a few simple words and actions. When you inhale, you will pray a few words. As you exhale, you will finish the prayer.

Pray with me:

Inhale: Jesus, my Protector

Exhale: Fill me with Your peace.

Allow yourself to feel the meaning of these words. Jesus offers us unexplainable, never ending peace with Him. No matter what’s going on, you can rest in His faithfulness.

But in my distress I cried out to the LORD; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears.
Psalm 18:6

Never worry about anything. Instead, in every situation let your petitions be made known to God through prayers and requests, with thanksgiving. Then God’s peace, which goes far beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your hearts and minds in union with the Messiah Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7

Loving Your Neighbor

We’ve all heard the familiar verse, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” However, what does this look like in real life?

For some, it means passing a stranger on the street and greeting them warmly. For others, it means donating their time and talents assisting those in need. It can be easy to see why it’s important to show others God’s love, especially since we know how wonderful it feels to be shown that love in return.

However, it’s not always easy to love everyone around us. And that’s how Jesus defines our “neighbors”: every single person you pass by, sit near in class, work alongside, or read about in the news.

One of the first things you’ll see when you open the Bible is the passage about God creating humankind.

So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them.
Genesis 1:27

We are created in God’s image.

Let that sink in for a moment. You don’t have to do anything to be “enough” for this great honor. Yet somehow, God chose you to reflect His perfect qualities and experience His infinite love.

But you are not the only one who is made in God’s image. Just as you should view yourself as God’s perfect creation, a reflection of God’s character, take a look around you at your community. Every single one of them, regardless of their past, their mistakes, their differences…they are made in God’s image too.

So when you extend to them God’s love and mercy, you are essentially giving back to God what He gave to you. Even if that person never thanks you, you can know that you will always do the right thing when you display God’s loving kindness.

Sometimes, going the extra mile feels like too much. And if it’s draining you completely, then you do need to take time for rest. But the small things matter too. Saying a simple “hello” or reaching out with a caring message might change someone’s entire day.

If you are still hesitant to do something for someone else, ask yourself why. Does it feel like too much of a burden? Does this person not “deserve” your time?

Maybe they don’t. But you know who does deserve your time? God. He’s the One who gave you all the time you have! And each time you treat someone the way God would treat them, you are showing God that you are making the most of the gifts He’s given you. You are telling God that you love Him, even if that love can’t compare to how much He loves you.

Today, think of a way (it doesn’t have to be big!) to show others God’s love. Who knows? Perhaps you might even make a lasting connection.

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.
Romans 13:8

Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
Romans 13:10

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
1 John 4:7-8

Living an Unseen Life

Do you often feel unappreciated or unnoticed when you do good things? Here is some advice and encouragement!

Have you ever made it through a long day, took a deep breath, and felt completely exhausted? As you reflected over the past 24 hours, your heart felt heavy as your mind replayed the moments where you were overlooked. Maybe your hard work didn’t seem to pay off. Maybe no one thanked you for your commitment and time. Or perhaps you felt used because no one else seemed to be doing responsible things and expected you to fix all their problems.

It can get wearisome doing the right thing, no matter what the “right thing” looks like. Sometimes, it’s reaching out to a person who denies their need for community. Other times, it’s standing up for the marginalized even when it’s not popular. Often, it’s when we are doing what Jesus would want us to do, which isn’t “the norm” in a society that doesn’t have the same values.

After everything I’ve said, there don’t seem to be many perks to doing the right thing though, huh? Especially because our efforts go unappreciated. But what if I told you that it’s better when we aren’t appreciated for our good works?

Before I go on, I want to give a disclaimer: it’s not bad to get appreciated. It’s human to seek validation and affection, and if you get those things, that doesn’t take away from your faith. However, I want to give encouragement for those of us who have felt unseen as we try to spread God’s love in a broken world.

When Jesus came here, He knew the discouragement we would face when being apprentices of Him. If you think about it, Jesus was only thanked a handful of times despite the countless sacrificial things He did. He understands our pain. That’s why Jesus addresses this issue during one of His sermons to His disciples.

Jesus says, “But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

Though He’s specifically addressing assisting the needy, I believe this can be interpreted as any act we do to help others for the sake of Christ. Not only does this remind us that everything we do that gets overlooked by people is seen by God, it helps us refocus our intentions when doing generous things.

You see, when we do everything for Jesus, we aren’t just helping others learn more about Him, we are doing it for others rather than for ourselves. Yes, we can benefit and grow from serving, but shouldn’t our primary goal be helping those we’re serving? When we get so caught up over whether or not someone is watching, we forget the purpose behind our mission.

I’m going to leave you with this challenge: the next time you reflect over an opportunity to be there for someone, don’t feel bad about how it went, regardless of whether or not you were appreciated. Instead, feel blessed that you were able to help and that God is so proud of you.

Don’t grow weary in doing good. Eventually, you will begin to see what a difference you make in the world. ❤

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.²¹For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Matthew 6:19-21

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Matthew 6:33

What Does “Casting My Cares” Really Look Like?

Are you feeling stressed out and you’re unsure how to find the peace Jesus offers? Here is some advice and encouragement.

I’m sure you’ve all heard the phrase (which stems from a verse), “Cast your cares on Jesus because He cares for you”. This verse can be incredibly reassuring, especially when we are dealing with anxious thoughts or troubled hearts. While this verse alone is completely true, we often miss out on a key part of the passage.

These two verses go, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your cares on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6-7). How can we fully cast our cares on Jesus? By being humble.

Now, it might be hard to see how these two things correlate. But the truth is, when we stop caring so much about whether or not we are pleasing others, being successful in the world’s eyes, or needing to be the best, a lot of our anxieties disappear.

Think about it. What’s been really stressing you out recently?

If it’s the division in our world, then humility is the answer. When we take a moment to be humble rather than shove our ideas and opinions in others’ faces, we can come together, despite our different convictions. Being a good listener takes humility, but isn’t unity worth it?

If it’s feeling upset by an argument, then perhaps the solution to your distress would be humbly apologizing or at least being willing to take the first step in mending the relationship. Even if it isn’t your fault, being the one to initiate reconciliation can bring you both deeper healing.

If it’s experiencing difficulty obtaining a goal, then ask yourself why you have this goal. Is it to “get ahead” in life, so that you can please others? Allow yourself to be immersed in God’s love for you instead and remember that He sees you as enough just by being who you are.

I’m sure there are countless other things you are stressing over, but as you list them down, think about whether or not you’d still be stressed about it if you didn’t care so much about your reputation. Does being right really matter that much? Does being in a higher status truly define your worth? I don’t think so.

Jesus offers us everything we could ever need. However, He does require us to do some work too. We have to be willing to be humble, like Jesus, in order to begin seeing change in our lives. We certainly don’t need to be perfect at humility, but Jesus honors our efforts, regardless of how others may react to them.

Today, allow yourself to be vulnerable and open minded to what others around you say. Remember that no matter how others treat you, Jesus loves you fully and intentionally. Once you let go of the belief that your worth depends on who others say you are, you will finally find peace.

Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.
1 Peter 3:8

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. ⁷Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-7

God Cares

It’s easier to believe that God cares about our “big” needs, but does He really care about the little things that matter to us?

With every change in season comes a change in perspective. Though our seasons in life don’t always coincide with the annual seasons, there often is a change in our way of life as the weather grows chillier and bright yellow buses begin barreling their way down the road. And as summer is coming to an end, I’ve desperately tried to think of some sort of profound thing to share from this past season because God has taught me so much. But I suppose it all comes down to this: God cares.

Now, I know what you might be thinking. God cares? Sure, about the big stuff, like saving us from death and taking care of our needs. But when I say God cares, I mean He cares about everything. I’m talking the big stuff, the small stuff, and everything in between. The stuff we don’t even admit matter deeply to us.

I’m currently in a season of transition, and over the past week, I’ve had to say a lot of goodbyes. To be honest, though I am excited about what’s ahead, it deeply saddens me to say goodbye to people. Though the old proverb goes, “When one door closes, another one opens”, it still hurts when the door closes.

Anyway, two things that mattered a lot to me were finding closure and making sure I said goodbye to everyone I particularly care about. Though I didn’t even express these desires through prayer, God gave me three unexpected opportunities to say goodbye to the kids I taught, a friend, and even a special opportunity to honor those (both the two-legged and the four-legged) at the barn where I worked. Those seemingly small things meant the world to me and reminded me that even when life feels like it’s overlooking you, God never overlooks any of your needs.

I’m sure you’ve been in a group of people who haven’t made you feel heard. Perhaps they avoided making eye-contact with you when you spoke or interrupted you repeatedly. Or maybe you’ve felt overlooked when a close friend forgot your birthday or an anniversary that mattered a lot to you.

The truth is, people let us down. They let us down all the time. And that’s why they can’t be the sole source of our joy and contentment. However, even when life doesn’t go your way, God has a bigger plan for you and in the end, He will never let you down.

People come and go, but God is faithful. He will never leave you nor forsake you. You have probably heard those words a thousand times, but let them really sink in. God will never leave you. You are never alone. And your cares, your concerns, and your desires never burden God.

You are loved far beyond your imagination. Never lose hope in that truth. God will take care of you because you mean everything to Him ❤

As high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
Psalm 103:11-13

I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, and He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many will see and fear and will trust in the Lord.
Psalm 40:1-3

Also, just a site note! Due to all the transitions going on, I will be temporarily putting “Encouragement Thursdays” on pause. However, I will certainly be updating this site and I look forward to hopefully sending you more encouragement! ❤

Trusting God with Our Unknowns

Are you struggling to let go because you didn’t get the closure or answers you hoped for?

Growth can be painful. Change can be painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.
Charles Spurgeon

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “Let go and let God”. People debated that phrase within the faith community because some interpreted it as a lack of effort on our part. When we simply let go and let God, they believe we aren’t taking ownership over our situations.

I don’t know if I’m particularly a fan of this phrase, but I do think it has some value to it. Yes, we need to be proactive and not expect God to just handle everything while we sit back and relax. But when we’ve done everything we can and we need to let go, that’s when it’s time to step back and remember that God is much more powerful and capable than we are.

I’ll even go one step further by saying we should go into every situation with the mindset that we are not in control and we are walking hand-in-hand with the Holy Spirit, who is in control and can direct us to the right choices.

There’s a difference between being proactive and being controlling. When we are being proactive, we are listening to the Holy Spirit, not allowing our joy and contentment come from the outcome of our situations, and willing to do whatever God leads us to do. When we are struggling to be in control, we are grasping at any loose threads that bring us comfort, trying to find solace in whatever small victories may come, even at the expense of our own wellbeing. When we are working so hard at being in control, we miss the bigger picture. We forget why we are doing what we’re doing in the first place, even if it started out as a wonderful, beautiful thing.

To be honest, this summer, my actions have slowly morphed from being proactive to being controlling. The hardest time to “let God” take over is when we are faced with unknowns. These unknowns fill our hearts with anxiety, confusion, and panic. When we can’t see the end result, we are fixated on the limited view we have of the present.

God called me into a few different situations that required patience, dedication, and compassion. I believe I did everything I could to help. But then, God called me to step back, and that’s when I faltered. I didn’t want to step back. I didn’t want to let go. If I let go, I’d feel like a failure. “There’s always more I can do”, I thought.

Of course there’s always more we can do. But there isn’t always more we should do.

I’ll admit it, there’s a thrill that comes when people rely on me. It gives me a sense of purpose, which is good, but that can’t be where my purpose comes from. My purpose, and your purpose, has to come from God. Because while He doesn’t promise that the purposes found in people or careers will be fulfilled, He does promise that our purposes found in Him will flourish.

Sometimes God isn’t only calling us out of a situation for our benefit. While yes, the reason may be to renew your energy, it could also be because the person you’re helping is relying too heavily on you. They are turning to you as their crutch rather than turning to God for their healing.

Think about it this way. If you’ve ever broken a leg, or seen someone with a broken leg, you’ve realized how important crutches can be to help them be able to move. While crutches are helpful and necessary for a time, they still can’t do everything for the injured person. Eventually, the person will have to do the hard work of physical therapy in order to experience full healing. Though the therapy may be more painful, just like growing and turning to God during our difficulties can be harder than finding someone to rant to, it ultimately brings the lasting results.

It’s really hard, devastating even, to be faced with unknowns. I can’t tell you whether or not this person is still meant to be in your life. I can’t tell you why they left. I can’t, and shouldn’t, explain away all the feelings you are experiencing in this season of change.

What I can say, however, is that God loves both you and this person even more than anyone else ever could. Trust Him to take care of them. Trust Him to take care of you. There never would’ve been any of us without God. He created all of us for a reason and He won’t ever give up on us.

So, perhaps you should walk out in faith today and not give up on Him.

It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace.
Isaiah 55:11-12

He has saved us and called us to a holy life–not because of anything we have done, but because of His own purpose and grace.
2 Timothy 1:9

When the Burden Feels Heavy

Jesus promises that the burden of being a Christian is light. However, in a world full of so much darkness and pain, showing God’s love can feel anything but easy. So how can we move forward when being a Christian isn’t comfortable?

I’ve often been stumped by this verse, Matthew 11:30, “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” In context, these words are spoken by Jesus, when He is encouraging His disciples. Not only does Jesus promise to give us an “easy” workload and a “light” burden, He says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Now, I don’t know about you, but these verses hit different these days. Our world is going through a lot. We’re going through a lot. A lot of heavy, difficult, and painful things. So when Jesus tells us to come to Him and find rest, it’s an irresistible offer.

Nothing about this verse is confusing when it’s simply words on a page. Hearing about how delightful and refreshing being a Christian is sounds great, right? But then, when we’re on the battlefield for our faith, literally and figuratively, we begin to doubt the validity of these words. Is Jesus really right? If He is, then why is being a Christian so complicated?

Well…we make it complicated. We as in humanity as a whole. You see, my friends, Jesus is not telling us that life will be easy once we become Christian. In fact, these words are spoken in the same chapter as when Jesus’ own cousin, John the Baptist, is in prison. Jesus knows fully that John will be beheaded for his faith, and He also knows that most of the disciples He’s comforting will be persecuted and even killed because of their alliance to Him.

Jesus is no dummy. He knows exactly who He’s talking to, the incredible hardships they will face, and ultimately the end of everyone’s story. He isn’t saying these words to make light of difficulties or to give them false hope. Rather, He is reminding them that their faith gives them reason to always have peace, joy, and hope.

And how, you may ask, can we possibly have peace, joy, and hope during seasons of immense pain and fear? Well, because we can experience the kind of love that casts out all fear, pain, and guilt on a daily basis. Each day, when we spend time with God, we can allow His steady presence to give us rest. Even greater than that, as Christians, we have the Holy Spirit–literally God!–living inside us. To clear up any confusion, this does NOT mean we are God. Rather, it means that God wants to be with us so much, He has chosen to live inside of us so that He will be with us always.

Some of the sweetest words to hear are “I miss you”. God went one step farther than saying “I miss you”. Rather, He realized that He’d miss us so much if He wasn’t with us 24/7, He made a way for us to be together always. He’s with you on the cold, dark nights. He’s with you during scary walks alone. He’s with you when you’re facing your giants, your triggers, and your greatest fears. He’s with you through it all.

Sometimes, though, this burden that gets placed on us as Christians can feel really heavy. We are called to care about everyone, especially those hurting. When we see news headlines of people being persecuted or children being harmed or rights being taken away, we may start to panic. When we are walking alongside someone going through indescribable heartache, we may feel drained as we absorb their pain. How can this burden possibly feel light?

Earlier this year, God placed someone in my life who I knew was directly from God. I didn’t know what this person was going through when we first got connected, yet I knew God wanted me to be especially intentional in my friendship with him. Over time, I started to learn what he was going through, and I did everything I could to be there for him. At first, I felt truly honored to be chosen to be a prayer warrior and friend to him. But after a while, things started to get increasingly difficult. I lost my enthusiasm for doing God’s will in this relationship, mostly because the “next right step” seemed less clear than before. When not hearing answers right away or knowing whether or not my efforts were appreciated, I struggled to keep my hope in God. Yet I knew I had to keep going, because the burden this person was carrying was too heavy for him to carry alone.

You may be in a similar situation right now, where you aren’t sure how God is using you, but you are feeling overloaded by another person’s burden. This work of God felt exciting for a time, but now merely feels heavy. You want to be motivated to do God’s work, yet it gets draining after a while. You may be called out of your comfort zone or faced with opposition, and you aren’t sure what to do next. This burden is anything but light.

As I’ve pondered these verses over and over again, a new revelation has come upon me. We, as Christians, cannot make the burden light on our own. Rather, the key to not feeling burned out by what we’re called to do is following Jesus’ example. Jesus actually says this quite clearly in these verses by reminding us of the importance of rest and seeing how gentle and humble His heart is.

You see, burdens often feel heavy when they require us to go out on a limb for someone. When we get embarrassed or when we must sacrifice something, we start wondering where the exit is. And when we pour everything into a situation or relationship, we don’t take the time to rest and spend time with God, we get tired. Jesus, despite coming here to save the entire world, took time to rest. He took time to be with His Father. He made sure to build that into His schedule.

There isn’t a single verse in the Bible that says Jesus was embarrassed. Yet Jesus is the literal definition of humility. He washed people’s feet. He dined with the “scum of civilization”. He chatted with people labeled as “extreme sinners”. Jesus went above and beyond the call of duty. He demonstrated true love.

And when we follow Jesus’ example, our hearts become more and more like His. We are no longer embarrassed by seemingly odd things God calls us to do. We are no longer afraid to reach out and be there for people who may not expect our help. We can feel free to be exactly who God wants us to be while still having time to rest and take care of ourselves as well.

Today, your heart might feel extremely heavy. Perhaps you just received news of a friend dealing with a tragic loss. Maybe your loved one is struggling with a problem so big, the best thing you can do is pray. Or possibly the person experiencing pain is you. Maybe the burden has been placed directly on your shoulders and you’re searching for God’s peace and comfort.

I want you to read Jesus’ words and feel comforted by them. Realize that when we allow Jesus to carry the burden alongside us, the burden is light. When we see every call to help someone as an opportunity rather than an irritating interruption, the work will feel easy. We aren’t called to stay in our comfort zones. Rather, we’re called to be comforted by Jesus as we walk through the fire together.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30

I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take some of the power of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them. They will share the burden of the people with you so that you will not have to carry it alone.
Numbers 11:17

The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”
Exodus 33:14

Refocusing Our Conversations with God

Are you frustrated by your prayer times, feeling as though you’re having a one-sided conversation? Here’s some advice and encouragement for your conversations with God.

Were you the type of student who raised your hand the second an idea popped into your head? It didn’t matter when the idea emerged–it just had to be shared! Whether you were that student or not, I’m sure you can remember your teacher’s response. If you had a good teacher, they likely politely told you to patiently wait and put your hand down until it was time for sharing responses. Teachers don’t want their students wildly waving their arms during instruction time because they know that the students aren’t listening when they are focused only on what they want to say.

Looking back, I’m sure you can agree that what you had to say wasn’t quite as important as what the teacher had to say. Growing up with a parent as a preschool teacher, I’ve heard my fair share of random circle time stories. Usually they are completely off-topic, and while interesting, don’t contribute much to the lesson time. Whether a student is giving an answer or sharing a story, the teacher likely doesn’t learn anything from what the student says . Rather, they allow the student to share for the student’s benefit.

Students come to school in order to hear what their teacher has to say. Their teacher has years of wisdom and are designed to prioritize their students’ needs, while students, particularly younger ones, only have their own interests in mind. Teachers can see the long road of learning ahead of their students, while the students can merely focus on their daily course work.

Though it’s easy to laugh at our younger selves in this scenario, the truth is, our conversations with God often mimic the way teachers interact with their students. We, the students, often run to God with whatever new desire or need comes up, usually right when God is trying to teach us something. He wants to hear what we have to say, but more importantly He wants us to listen and focus on what He’s trying to tell us.

God is the only one who can see the future and know what course is best for us to take. So naturally, it would make sense to follow His leading rather than going with whatever brilliant idea pops into our heads first.

However, we get so fixated on what we want, especially during our prayer time, that we forget to keep our hearts and minds open to God’s leading. What percentage of your prayer time is talking to God? You probably would say 100%, right? Well, what if it was 50/50, spending at least half the time listening to God rather than just talking? Or, what if most of your time with God was listening to Him rather than speaking?

That can be hard because listening feels less productive than talking. We are required to be still and patient when we are listening to God. Listening requires trusting God enough to believe He knows what we need more than we do. Yet listening is a verb, an action word. We must be proactive in order to listen by reading the Bible, noticing what the Holy Spirit is causing us to feel passionately about, and hearing from wise biblical counsel.

There are many different ways to hear from God. There isn’t exactly one “better” way than another, though I will say reading the Bible is a key part in knowing what God desires for you. The most important thing is always being on alert to what God is trying to tell you. You don’t have to be in a church or on a mountain top or at a retreat in order to feel God’s presence. Rather, you can be sitting in your car, waiting for someone, or laying awake at night. God can meet you everywhere.

Today, instead of going about your prayer time the way you normally do, take time to listen to what God is teaching you. Reflect on what He is doing in your life, what promises He has revealed to you, and where He is leading you next. Perhaps He will place a particular person on your heart who needs your love. Maybe He wishes to fill your heart with peace and give you rest from all the things stressing you out.

No matter where you’re coming from today, God will meet you exactly where you’re at.

Whoever is of God hears the words of God.
John 8:47

So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.
Romans 10:17