Tag: love

Holy Week Series: A Renewed Spirit

How does it feel to know that Jesus sacrificed everything to save you?

Today in the church calendar is Maundy Thursday. During a normal year, you may have experienced a Passover seder meal and a foot washing to replicate what Jesus and His disciples did the last evening before Good Friday, when Jesus was crucified.

Now, you may not have thought too much about the foot washing element other than it’s a little awkward. If you’re the one getting your feet washed, you take off your shoes for the first time in church, pray your feet don’t stink, and feel uncomfortable as someone else from your church washes your feet. If you’re the one doing the washing, you may be wishing for the evening to be over soon since it’s gross touching everyone else’s feet. Or perhaps you have a tiny part of you that resents being the one who has to do the dirty work.

Of course, that’s just what I’d assume. Maybe you absolutely love this part of the Maundy Thursday service, and if so, then that’s wonderful! But I want us all to step into the shoes of a disciple for a moment and think about what it would’ve been like to have Jesus wash your feet.

Your feet are so dirty that you can no longer see your skin. Your sandals stick to your feet, glued on by sweat, as Jesus pries them off your feet. Sniffing the air, your face crinkles up as a pungent odor of dead fish mixed with donkey doo fills your nostrils. And yet Jesus takes a cold, wet cloth and gently drapes it over your feet, rubbing them tenderly until the repulsive smell and caked on dirt have vanished.

In a sense, that would feel incredible, right? Your physical body is getting a refreshing revival. But it comes at the cost of Jesus, your Lord and Savior, sacrificing His dignity and perhaps even His sense of smell before you can feel clean again. You might even feel a little guilty watching Him humbly serve you. I know I would!

Just as Jesus came to be a humble servant to others by refreshing their souls and cleaning their feet, His main goal, of course, was to sacrifice everything to give us a spiritual revival, everlasting life. And thinking about Jesus dying for us might make us feel more than a little guilty, huh? I mean, it’s one thing to think about Him cleaning our feet, but it’s entirely another to picture His agonizing, humiliating death. All because of our sin.

I used to think that the only way to fully appreciate Jesus’ gift of salvation was to feel guilty. But I’ve come to realize that Jesus came to save us from everything, including our feelings of worthlessness and shame. He didn’t come here to make us feel bad that He had to die. Rather, He came out of love for us.

Think about someone you love. If they did something that hurt your feelings or caused you grief, you might get upset in the moment, but your love for them never changes. And ultimately, you’d rather have them know your love rather than your anger. Because when we love someone, we put our relationship with them before anything else.

Of course it hurts Jesus when we sin. Of course we need to repent. Of course we should avoiding sinning as much as possible.

But even when we do make mistakes, Jesus will still love us. We don’t have to be forever burdened by our sin. Jesus came to restore, to renew, to give us life. He didn’t come to take it away.

And when we finally realize how great Jesus’ love for us is, we can extend that to others by being willing to sacrifice our reputation, ego, or even temporarily our sense of smell, so that they can witness Jesus’ love too.

This Easter season, don’t focus on how guilty you may feel for Jesus dying for you. Rather, let Jesus’ love sink into your heart and let that love pour into everything you do.

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

1 John 4:16

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. …

John 15:9-17

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.

1 John 3:1

Holy Week Series: When Jesus “Lets Us Down”

Beginning our Holy Week series, we will start off with asking the question, “How do we react when Jesus ‘lets us down’?”
Advice for your faith journey!

Last year, I posted several days leading up to Easter, and that really brought me closer to God, as well as it hopefully helped you all get prepared for our celebration of the biggest event in history! So I thought I’d do it again this year!

Starting off this year’s series, we’re going to talk about everyone’s least favorite person–Judas. Now, I know you might think you’ve got him figured out. He’s a greedy, scumbag sort of dude, right? That’s it, his story’s over, moving on to someone better…

But actually, he’s deeper than that and we owe it to ourselves to learn everything we can from the story of Jesus’ death and resurrection.

When I first read the Easter story in the Bible, I hated Judas. I think we all have some right to. After all, he did betray Jesus. He’s the one we all blame since he’s the one who saw all the miracles Jesus did, heard all the teachings, felt all the love…and yet still handed Him over to be brutally killed.

I used to think Judas did these things for a few silver coins, all out of greed. But actually, there’s a deeper reason behind Judas’ actions. He strongly opposed the Roman government, which many Jews at that time did, since the Romans took away their freedom and taxed them heavily, among other things. Many Jews expected the king God was sending down to be the new ruler who would overthrow the Roman Empire. Of course, we all know Jesus didn’t do that and instead had a much bigger plan. But this is what upset Judas and many others who shouted “Crucify Him” just a week after praising Jesus in Jerusalem.

Essentially, Judas betrayed Jesus because Jesus let him down. Jesus didn’t have the same plan as Judas, and instead of waiting to see what Jesus would do instead, Judas decided to get as much as he could out of Jesus and be done with Him.

How many times have we treated Jesus as some vending machine? We ask, beg and plead, and once He doesn’t give us what we demand, we stop worshiping Him. I’ve heard so many stories of how people stopped believing in Jesus once something tragic happened in their lives. Maybe a loved one died, a job was lost, or a new leader came into power who goes against their beliefs. How could God let this happen?

I don’t want to minimize your feelings of pain, grief, and disappointment. Crying, needing space, having doubts…that’s all normal and natural and does not deny your faith. The issues come when you abandon your relationship with God after your plans are altered. I want you to step back for a moment and think about all you might be missing out on by being stuck in your disappointment towards God “not coming through for you” instead of focusing on the bigger plan God has in store. God is the only One who knows everything and when you place your life in His hands, you will never be disappointed because you know that even if things don’t go according to your plan, God’s plan is greater and better than what we can imagine.

Now, maybe you’re feeling convicted of a past sin or with the realization that you have abandoned Jesus. Maybe you think it’s too late.

Well, I have some important news for you.

It’s never too late.

Jesus is waiting with open arms. Even when Judas came to the garden with the soldiers to arrest Jesus, He still called Judas “friend”. He still loved Judas even when He knew the evil Judas was doing. But when Judas felt guilty, he didn’t turn to Jesus. Instead, he allowed his guilt and shame to take over and he refused Jesus’ gift of salvation and forgiveness.

But your story doesn’t have to end that way. No, your story is going to be something bigger, better, and more beautiful. Your story already is beautiful because God is writing your story.

Today, think about whether or not you have abandoned Jesus. Remember how much He loves you. Remember how He’s provided for you all along. And most of all, thank Him for His extraordinary gift of unconditional love.

While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people. 48 Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.” 49 Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him.50 Jesus replied, “Do what you came for, friend.”

Matthew 26:47-50

When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. 4 “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.”

Matthew 27:3-4

The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.

1 Timothy 1:15

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

When to Speak Truth

Do you struggle to know when to tell people a tough truth you’ve noticed about them?

I was talking to one of my friends today, and we both agreed that the thing that seems the most “taboo” these days is offending someone. We do everything we can to avoid it, even lying about important things.

Now, I am certainly not saying you should go out and say hurtful things to others. But I do think we should be more aware of when we compromise our values in favor of flattering someone rather than being honest. We must speak the truth in love, not in a way that is intentionally sharp or demeaning. When we are seeking to be more honest, we must ask ourselves these questions:

1. Why is saying this important?

Words are like weapons. They can protect, or they can destroy. We must use our words to build people up and to help them grow. If this piece of honest advice will help the person you care about, then tell them. If it will help them grow closer to God, then tell them. If this will change an unpleasant situation, tell them.

Really evaluate why you believe you should say this. That may motivate you to speak this truth if you were unsure. This may help you better word what you have to say. Or maybe if you’re saying it for the wrong reason, you can reevaluate what you need to do. But before making any decision, knowing why you are considering doing it is wise.

2. Am I saying this because I want to be honest and helpful or because I want to feel better about myself?

Now, the one place I have seen people blunt and loose-lipped is on social media. People have no issue yelling at each other and criticizing everyone who does one little thing wrong. The reason why this is hurtful and unproductive is because these words, while they may have a grain of truth to them, come from a place of self-righteousness, anger, and hate. Just like the old saying about bullies at school, hurt people hurt people.

So during that evaluation process of why you want to honestly tell someone something, think about if it’s coming from a place of love or a place of pride. Do you feel like you are better than this person? If you do, then what you have to say will likely not help them. But if you believe that you also have things you struggle with, but you’re just farther along on the faith journey, or you happen to have noticed something that could help someone, then you are doing this for the right reason.

3. Is this person already aware of this issue?

Now, I’ll admit I don’t like being corrected. During this time where God’s been teaching me a lot about humility, I’ve come to learn how to discern between constructive and destructive criticism. Then I’ve learned how to accept and grow from the constructive criticism.

But the thing I get so annoyed by is when I’m currently working on a weakness and someone comes up and informs me of that weakness. It’s like, yeah, couldn’t you tell I was working on it? And then I just feel even more discouraged.

Now, if you don’t realize that someone is working on that weakness, that’s one thing. But if you can tell that they are actively trying to improve as a person, then encourage them!

I hope these tips helped you. I know it can be so hard to speak the truth in love, but nothing good comes easy, right? Today, think about how you can better accept truth from people who care about you and want to help you. Also ask God if there’s anything you need to tell someone in your life to help them grow in their faith too.

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.

1 John 1:8

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

2 Timothy 2:15

A Ripple Effect

How are the people in your life influencing you?

When you were growing up, did you ever have that one friend that your parents were worried you’d end up like? Maybe they didn’t follow the rules or they were disrespectful. Your parents didn’t want you to spend too much time with that friend because they didn’t want you to become like them. Whether or not you learned this the hard way, as an adult, you likely know it to be true that the people closest to you are the ones who have the greatest influence over you.

What I bet you didn’t know is that the Bible affirms the decision to be wise and cautious about who you let into your close circle. I’ve been reading through Proverbs recently, and I’ve come across a few key reminders about who to be friends with.

  1. Don’t get too close to too many people

A man of too many friends comes to ruin,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24

This doesn’t mean we should turn away a person who needs a friend necessarily, but it’s a good reminder that physically as humans we don’t have the energy or resources to be a good friend to a lot of people. We can be there for them, pray for them, and show God’s love to them, but we can’t be everybody’s ride-or-die companion. When we allow too many people into our close circles, the filter we place over our friends’ advice and opinions grows weaker. But if we pour a lot into a few deep relationships, we’ll feel encouraged and strengthened in our faith.

2. Seek friends who are honest and loyal

Better is open rebuke

Than love that is concealed.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend,

But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

Proverbs 27:5-6

Two of the most important qualities in a friend are honesty and loyalty. You know you are close to someone when you can openly share what you think would help them grow as a person and as a friend. And when your friend needs to confront you about something, you don’t feel hurt or betrayed, but rather cared for by their consideration to help you improve too. If all your friends simply flatter you or only remain on the surface level, then perhaps they really aren’t such close friends.

Though honesty may hurt sometimes, you know that a relationship is strong when you can be truly vulnerable and open about everything.

3. A good friend is there through the dark times

A friend loves at all times,

And a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 17:17

You may have heard this verse before because it’s so good and widely shared. Expanding on the idea of loyalty, the people in your close circle need to be there for you when you are going through difficult times. But you also have to be willing– actually, wanting– to be there for them even when they aren’t at their best either. That’s why we can’t have too many people in our close circle, because we can’t always be there for everyone all the time. But when you walk through the fire with someone, your relationship will grow stronger.

4. Seek friends who give wise counsel

He who walks with wise men will be wise,

But the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Proverbs 13:20

Your friends should be the ones you can turn to when you need help solving a problem. Now, no one is perfect or gives the best advice every time, but it’s important to be around people who share your morals and who give thought to their answers to your questions. These people who are in the Word, who pray and seek God’s counsel, will be the ones who will help you make the best decisions and will help you grow in maturity and wisdom as well.

5. Last but not least, choose friends who exhibit qualities you want to have

Do not associate with a man given to anger;

Or go with a hot-tempered man,

Or you will learn his ways

And find a snare for yourself.

Proverbs 22:24-25

Iron sharpens iron,

So one man sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17

Coming full circle here, when you are around people who are critical, angry, and judgemental, you will become like them. Whether it’s your annoyance over their bad habits or how their qualities seem less upsetting the longer you spend with them, the truth is, one of the most important things you can do in life is surrounding yourself with people who mirror God-like qualities. You don’t want to be living in fear of your friends or becoming like them. Rather, you should be in relationships that sharpen you and your faith.

Now, you might be thinking that you should still allow difficult people into your inner circle to help them. But here’s the thing, if you become like them, then you will start harming others. There’s a ripple effect; if you grow close to an angry person and become angry yourself, then the people around you will start being like that too. Of course, you should still be kind and welcoming to difficult people, but you shouldn’t allow them to be big influencers in your life.

Based on what I’ve been saying, you might be frustrated by humans’ ability to become like the people they’re around. But this trait is actually a good thing when it comes to the most important relationship we have: our relationship with Jesus.

You see, the more time you spend with the most amazing friend you have (Jesus), you will become more like Him. And that’s our ultimate goal as believers, right? The more time you spend with Jesus, the more you’ll see that ripple effect of love and compassion pour into the lives of the people around you.

So today, think about who you consider to be your closest friends. Do you share any qualities with them? Do they positively influence you?

And most importantly, spend time with Jesus and thank Him for being our best friend.

Do not be deceived: Bad company corrupts good morals.

1 Corinthians 15:33

The righteous is a guide to his neighbor,

But the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Proverbs 12:26

Truly Alive

Do you feel fully alive, or are you waiting for something to happen before you can live life to the fullest?

“The past is gone, you don’t know how many tomorrows you have left, so make the most of the present. Don’t die while you’re still breathing.”

I saw that quote yesterday, and it stopped me in my tracks. A lot of us think that waiting means we can’t do anything. But if you think about it, we’re always in a season of waiting.

Here’s a classic example, though I know everybody’s story is different.

An elementary schooler is waiting to someday graduate from school. Once they graduate, they are waiting on figuring out which college they are going to. Once they graduate from college, they are waiting on getting their first job. Once they get their first job, they are waiting for the day when they can retire.

There’s never going to be a time when you’re not waiting for that next stage of life to happen. It’s just inevitable.

But that doesn’t mean that you get to skip through all the in between stuff. All of it, whether it’s getting through secondary school, working towards a degree, starting a family, or changing career paths, is meaningful. The enjoyment, the lessons, and the significance of those stages of life shouldn’t be discounted simply because they occur before you reach a place in your life where you want to be.

It can be really easy to let life pass before our eyes, especially during a global pandemic when everything else has been put on pause. But our lives are never paused, even when we are experiencing unforeseen difficulties. As the old proverb goes, time stops for no one.

The truth is, we will get from life what we make from it. Now, I know you may want to argue and say that we can’t decide what happens to us. And you’re right, we have no control over that.

But we can decide how experiences affect us. We get to decide whether we will learn the lesson God’s trying to teach us or if something is going to ruin the rest of our lives.

Think about all those fairytales from your childhood. Both the villain and the protagonist experienced hardships, usually in the form of the loss of an ability or an important person in their lives. Yet the reason why the protagonist had a happy ending and a joyful demeanor was because they were willing to persevere and believe there was still good in the world. The villain could’ve had all those blessings too, if they were willing to never let go of the hope that things truly can get better.

No matter how tempting it may feel to just sit around and tell yourself that you have to wait before you will be joyful, remember that we don’t have to wait to worship. We don’t have to wait to experience joy. We don’t have to wait before we can see God’s work at hand.

Instead, we need to be present in the here and now. We need to cherish what we do have while we still have it.

Live today. Say what you have to say, do something you’ve been putting off, laugh because why not? There are so many possibilities for today, for everyday.

Every day can be special and meaningful if you let it.

Open your heart to the possibility of truly living, right here, no matter where you are, and let God take care of the rest.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 16:11

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.

Philippians 4:4

I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Jeremiah 29:11

Hope for the Lows in Life

Are you going through a hard time right now? Hopefully my story can encourage you.

To be honest, I’ve been really discouraged lately.

I know, shocking, coming from a person who runs an encouragement blog. But here’s the thing, so often we like to share our stories of how we struggled in the past and got through it, by God’s grace. But we never like to admit that we’re currently going through a rough time.

And let’s be real, ever since last March, we’ve all been through a series of difficulties. Especially for those of us who hate change. Or are learning to embrace it. (Emphasis on learning!)

There are a lot of Christian writers and singers I look up to. And they are amazing, God-filled people. I have benefitted from their words so much. But sometimes, it’s hard because I see them and I wonder why I’m still stuck on a rollercoaster in my faith journey while they seem to have figured it all out. (I’m sure they don’t have it all figured out, but sometimes it feels like they do!)

I’m definitely not as well-known or experienced as the people I admire, but I want to still be open with you about the things I go through. I want you to remember that you are not alone in your struggles. I’m still figuring things out too. One of the major things that’s been burdening me is actually my writing.

I’ve always wanted to be a writer. When I was a kid, I filled up little books with all my stories and decorated them with stickers. As I’ve gotten older, writing has become cathartic for me. When I write, all my problems seem to have meaning, like they happened so that I can share my story. It’s the fuel to my (story’s) fire. When I write, I finally feel like I have a purpose.

So you can imagine the heartbreak of reading one negative review after another by my writing professor. I know I can be too thin-skinned, but it still hurts. Based on her comments, I’d be a better editor than an actual writer.

I suppose you could say I feel stuck. I feel like the things that used to define me are disintegrating around me. And maybe that’s to remind me to allow God to define me instead of activities or talents. I’m in a time of my life where change is on the horizon and I know I must let go of certain things in this season. Some relationships, some dreams.

But the thing is, I know that God gave me a passion for writing. As I debated being an English major, a Theology major, or a Psychology major, I searched my Bible for answers. And I know I heard God’s voice tell me to pursue English.

But some days, it just seems easier to give up.

I keep reminding myself of a visual I saw during a Bible study, where the author said that our journey with God isn’t going to be one straight vertical line, or even a staircase. It’s going to be full of ups and downs and that’s perfectly normal.

But during these times that feel neverending, full of discouragement, extremely low…it’s hard to remember that there’s another turnaround up ahead that’s going to be better.

One time, when I was feeling similarly, I kept seeing verses or hearing messages from people with the three word phrase “Don’t give up”. I even saw a book at the store titled that and I immediately bought it, knowing it was a sign from God. God places verses, people, and sometimes even social media posts in our path so that we can keep moving forward when the enemy tries holding us back. He doesn’t want us to fulfill our purposes, and that’s why he does everything he can to make us feel discouraged.

That’s why my main goal in life is to encourage people through the words God gives me. We have to stand together to fight against the enemy. We can’t do this alone.

I’m sure you have many things to do today, so I won’t keep you much longer. I’ll just leave you with one final story.

At that same Bible study, where I previously mentioned the imagery of our journey with God, I was struggling as the leader. I had the “great idea” of bringing together four people who had nothing in common to try to grow together in God’s word. At first, I felt like I was failing. The enemy whispered in my ear, “Just give up. Everyone knows you tried, but you just couldn’t do it.”

But I kept going, in part thanks to the people in my group who encouraged me by continuing to show up, and thanks to mentors speaking God’s truth to me.

And you know what? Over a year later, with many necessary changes, my Bible study has flourished into a close-knit group where we’ve been able to share vulnerably, learn from each other, and grow closer to God. Starting that Bible study was one of the toughest tests of my perseverance so far. No one would’ve blamed me if I had given up. (Well, except for me!) But I didn’t. I didn’t give up.

And I won’t give up now.

I know I’m not the only one feeling discouraged today. You might be too, or a loved one is. But you know what? We are only letting the enemy win every time we believe one of his lies about us. When we are walking in line with God’s will, nothing can stop us. Don’t lose hope. Don’t give up. ❤

But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.

2 Chronicles 15:7

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

Genesis 50:20

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Hebrews 11:6

For no word from God will ever fail.

Luke 1:37

 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

The True Meaning of Innocence

Do you feel burdened by mistakes you’ve made in the past? Here is some encouragement.

I’ve noticed throughout my lifetime that innocence has been given a negative connotation. Often people associate innocence with naivety, unintelligence, and a lack of maturity. Who would want to be considered innocent with that definition?

And to make things even more confusing, the Bible actually encourages us to be innocent. But the Bible also promotes wisdom, so isn’t there a contradiction here?

No, because the true definition of biblical innocence is not the same as our culture’s.

To me, part of the definition of innocent is that it’s the opposite of being guilty. That sounds overly simplified, but let me explain.

Imagine yourself in a courtroom. You’d rather be innocent than guilty, right? When we’re guilty, we are burdened, ashamed, and ridiculed. We are condemned. We are punished.

Hopefully you’ve never been prosecuted and brought to trial, but there are still many other examples of how guilt can ruin our lives.

Perhaps you made a mistake with your words that offended someone, and you feel terrible about it. Maybe you did something bigger, like causing a major inconvenience for someone, or hurting a relationship. Or maybe you feel guilty for not doing something God told you to do.

Close your eyes for a moment and clench your fists, as though you are holding onto that guilt. How does that make you feel? What do you feel guilty of? How long ago did this take place?

Now open your eyes, keeping your hands the way they are, and read this sentence aloud:

Jesus paid the price for my mistakes, and now I am free.

Repeat that sentence until you feel like you can open up your hands and release those burdens that have been weighing so heavily on your heart.

I have made many mistakes in my life that have affected the way I’ve seen myself, others, and even God. But God doesn’t want us to live in fear of making mistakes or burdened by our past sins. Instead, God wants us to be free to live abundant, fruitful lives through Him. When we finally let go of that guilt, we are innocent. We are no longer bothered by what has happened in the past and we fully accept ourselves as who God says we are.

To me, being innocent is allowing ourselves to live joyful lives and to see ourselves as the beloved children of God. We can understand the world and be wise while being free from our regrets.

He delivers even the one who is not innocent, who will be delivered through the cleanness of your hands.

Job 22:30

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Galatians 2:20

Who Defines You?

Do you often feel used or deemed worthless by others? Do you feel burned out by trying to live up to others’ expectations?

I don’t know about you, but I can often exhibit people-pleasing tendencies. If you aren’t sure if you are a people-pleaser, consider this list of statements and see if any resonate with you:

  1. I feel worn out because of other people’s demands, yet I can’t say no
  2. I often feel used by others
  3. I get my fulfillment through making others happy
  4. I often just go with what others want, even when I have a different opinion
  5. I hide my own feelings if they differ from others
  6. I get hurt by criticism really easily, even if it’s constructive
  7. I try to figure out what other people think of me, because that affects my self-esteem
  8. I allow others to decide how worthy I am

If a few of those (or all) really clicked with you, then you have probably had issues setting boundaries and you’ve been really hurt by others for either not appreciating you or for things they have said that you’ve let get to you.

Here’s the thing, yes part of it might be on them for not being diplomatic or for not realizing how you feel. But you need to be honest with yourself and realize that if you’re allowing others to determine how much you are worth, then you are going to be in an endless cycle of feeling less-than. You will never measure up to everyone’s standards of excellence.

I’m in a writing class (there’s a pro-tip coming ahead if you’re also a writer) and we comment on other people’s short stories. As a people pleaser, I often get upset when people don’t like what I’ve written, or even when they’ve found a tiny flaw that doesn’t satisfy them. I’ve allowed their ideas, these random-people-who-I’ve-never-met’s ideas, affect how I view myself as a writer. I am so easily discouraged that I dread reading their comments, even when many of them have both positive and critical things to say.

But here’s the thing: they don’t know me. They don’t know my story. They have their own struggles that they are dealing with. And they have different perspectives. So I should listen to what they are saying, but take it with a grain of salt.

As I read the most recent comments, I noticed a similarity between them and ones from previous work. None of them agree with each other. One person likes the opening monologue while another thinks it’s boring. One person feels like a character is their best friend while another can’t relate to them.

My bottom line is this: Whether you are a writer or not, you can’t please everyone. There’s just no physical way.

And the truth is, no person can fully understand you or your whole story. Only God knows you deeply and loves you.

Imagine you see this gorgeous painting that you want to further understand. You wouldn’t let some fifth-grader who just got dragged into an art museum explain the artist’s intent behind their work, would you? Not if you wanted the truthful, deep, thought-provoking answer dripping with love and affection for their masterpiece.

That’s why you shouldn’t let the people you meet online, your coworkers, or even people close to you define you. No one can express how much you are truly worth like your Creator can. He’s the only one who knows your full purpose, how intricately designed you are, and how long it took Him to breathe you into being.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Never let yourself believe otherwise.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Psalm 139:14

Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do it, for how should my name be profaned? My glory I will not give to another.

Isaiah 48:10-11

Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.

Genesis 2:7

Choose the Path of Humiliation

How has pride gotten in the way of your relationship with God?

I mentioned last week that sometimes God speaks to us in a loud, booming voice, right? One you simply can’t ignore?

I had also mentioned that I have heard God speak in that way, and I thought I’d share what I believe He was showing me.

Recently, I was very stressed, feeling like I had been in a few situations that were very embarrassing. But after talking about those situations with a close family member, she suggested that perhaps God was trying to teach me about humility. I often struggle with correction, and being humble is important in order to better our relationships with others and with God. Keeping that in the back of my mind, I kept living out my life, and then this weekend our last sermon from a beloved pastor was about humility, how Jesus calls us to become humble servants like Him.

After all, He is the greatest, and even He served others. One line that the pastor said that really stood out to me was this: We need to choose the path of humiliation.

That’s what we need to choose, not just what we “allow” to happen to us. Jesus chose that path, after all. He was mocked, despised, and ultimately killed. But still, He remains holy and the One we need to worship. The One who loves us despite all that we have done to Him and continue to do through sinning.

Then, after that sermon, I led my weekly Bible study, and we were discussing gratitude and righteousness. One very wise member noted that the thing that she thinks separates her from God the most is her ego, her pride. And as she shared a bit of what she’s been struggling with lately, I realized that God was just repeating the message in bold, flashing lights, “You must become humble in order to be a true disciple of Jesus. In order to reach your full potential”.

In our society today, we emphasize being proud of who we are. We flaunt our successes and look down on others who haven’t done all we’ve done. We like feeling “good” about ourselves.

The issue with pride is that when we feel like we can do everything on our own, then we ignore the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus. We think we don’t need God or anyone else, and that causes others to feel worse about themselves.

And here’s the thing, we can recognize our ultimate worth, the love God has given us, and how valuable we are without being prideful.

God wants us to have self-love. After all, He showed us how valuable we are when Jesus died on the cross for our sins.

But ultimately we have to realize that the reason why we have value isn’t because of anything we did. It’s because of what Jesus did for us. It’s because of God deciding that the world needed us. It’s because we are made in God’s image.

So don’t let people tell you that you aren’t worth anything, because you are. You are loved enough to have the most powerful being in the entire universe die for you.

But that also means that when you are faced with the choice of serving or being served, you need to go the route that Jesus took. Be willing to help someone out, even when it’s not fun, rewarding, or even pleasant. It means that when you get embarrassed or feel like someone’s more accomplished than you, you just have to let those feelings go. You have to realize that even if they are more accomplished in one area of life than you, you are still just as valuable as them and you don’t have to be jealous, because God’s got His own unique plan for you that is completely different than theirs.

When pride comes, then comes disgrace,

but with humility comes wisdom.

Proverbs 11:2

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Ephesians 4:2

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

James 4:10

“How Are You Doing?”

When was the last time you asked someone, “How are you doing?”

I’m going to admit, one of my guilty pleasures is rom-coms. I don’t know why since I wouldn’t consider myself the “most romantic person in the world”. But if there’s a really good rom-com out there, I will likely watch it and enjoy it.

The most recent one I’ve watched is the third movie about Lara Jean in the To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before series. She and her boyfriend, Peter, have gone through many ups and downs since they initially got together at the end of the first movie. They’ve matured and have grown significantly closer. In fact, they even plan on going to college together and staying together forever. (Might be sad if they weren’t planning on the latter, now that I think about it).

Anyway, the “big event” of this movie is (spoiler alert!) Lara Jean not getting into the college that they were planning to attend together. The issue is, because they were both planning on going for so long, Lara Jean doesn’t have the heart to tell Peter. So he buys her a Stanford tree hat, decorates his car, and takes her out on a special date to celebrate her acceptance (since he is unaware of her rejection). So you’d think that by the time she does tell him, he’d be pretty upset, right? Probably annoyed, angry, maybe even ready to break up?

But his answer stunned me. And moved me greatly. I don’t often cry during movies, and I thought I would at the end of this one since it’s the last in the series, but the moment I almost cried was at Peter’s response to Lara Jean’s heart-wrenching confession that she didn’t make it into Stanford.

He looks at her with such care and concern as she starts rambling on and on about how she can fix the situation. He stops her and says in a soft, empathetic voice, “How are you doing?”

I’m sure he knows at this moment that his dreams are crushed as much as hers. He had his hopes set on her going to Stanford too. But he doesn’t let that affect the way he reacts. Instead, he puts his care and love for her over his disappointment.

Wow. Okay, let’s regroup for a minute here. (Also go watch the movie after if I haven’t spoiled too much of it for you).

So you might be thinking, “Aw, what a great boyfriend! Next?”

No. We need to really think about this lesson embedded in this scene. Like, how many times have you been dreading telling someone something you knew would disappoint them and you were greeted with a harsh, or even just discouraged, response?

Probably many times.

But how many times have you been given love and admiration for the courage it took you to share that news? How many times were you asked, before any opinions were shared, how you were doing?

And let me flip that question around a bit. When was the last time you responded to disappointing news with care and concern instead of worry or anger?

I think the reason this scene meant so much to me is because I really wanted someone to just ask me how I was doing. I also felt guilty that I haven’t always reacted with such maturity and love to others when faced in similar situations. I’m more inclined to share my opinions on the news rather than hear their side of the story.

Now, I know there are many instances where they say not to ask that question, like right after someone died or something like that. Often that just overwhelms a person.

But I think you’ll know deep down in your heart when it’s the right time to ask if you really stop and let yourself step into the other person’s shoes.

Is there someone who needs to be asked how they’re doing? Like, how they’re really doing?

I know it can be awkward, but sometimes you just have to be the first person to make a move. You have to be the one to start that act of kindness. And if you think about it, that’s only four words. Four simple words to completely change a conversation, even a relationship, around.

So the next time you are tempted to get annoyed at someone’s bad news, think about the situation from their perspective and respond with empathy. Or, if you feel like there’s someone being overlooked or overworked, reach out and see if you can be there for them.

You never know how you might be able to change a life today.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32