Tag: love

Admit What You Need

Admit it when you need help in order to build better relationships– both with God and with loved ones.

A lot of times I hide how I feel or what I need because I don’t want to bother others. At least, that’s what I often tell myself when justifying not reaching out.

But another major reason why I’m hesitant to reach out to people with my desires is because I don’t want to admit that I’m weak, insufficient, and not completely capable of everything. I don’t want to crush this false illusion in my mind that I’ve somehow proven to others that I am basically inhuman in my abilities to be self-sufficient.

This only hurts my relationships with others, and this mindset of not wanting to be vulnerable hurts our relationship with God too.

Let’s be honest, some people truly don’t want to see our less-than-perfect side. They only want us when we can help them.

But God isn’t like that. Not one little bit.

He wants our ENTIRE heart. He wants the brokenness because only He can make it beautiful. He wants to comfort us. He wants to sustain us. He wants to give us strength.

But He isn’t going to arrive uninvited. We have to let Him in if we want His help.

The same goes for people. If we act like nothing is wrong, then people will assume we are fine. We need to be willing to be human in order to get the help that we need. We have to be vulnerable in order for others to feel truly comfortable with us.

Not only does this help us, but it strengthens our relationships, both with people and with God.

We show God that we are willing to allow Him to use all the areas of our life, including the things we’d rather leave unexposed.

So today, allow the people who really care about you into your life, both the good and bad. Tell them if you need something, and be willing to let them be vulnerable with you too.

In addition, think about the areas of your life where you’ve held back from showing your true self to God. Ask Him to show you the areas where you need to let go and allow Him to take over. God will help you through any struggle you are going through, as long as you let Him in.

More than anything, remember that you are never a burden. You don’t have to always be strong. Allow yourself to be immersed in the love and comfort that God and your loved ones want to give you.

You are enough.

For he has not despised or scorned

    the suffering of the afflicted one;

he has not hidden his face from him

    but has listened to his cry for help.

Psalm 22:24

The Message We Ignore

If you need a sign of confirmation that you are exactly where you need to be, this is it. God loves you so much. I encourage you to read this and realize you are not alone in your struggles.

I’m going to say something now that you may not want to hear. But believe it or not, it could also be a message that encourages you.

Our faith was never supposed to be easy. Following Jesus does not mean happiness on Earth or that every prayer is automatically going to be answered the way we want it to be.

A couple days ago, my pastor preached about Jesus calming the storm. She said something that really stuck with me, and I thought I’d share with you.

A common misconception is that when things go wrong for people, it’s because they are not following God’s call. That is completely a lie that the enemy wants you to believe in order to give up on your faith.

“The disciples weren’t going against God’s call. Rather, they were doing exactly what they were supposed to do. That storm was a part of their path, despite how difficult and frightening it was.” (paraphrased)

You may be struggling right now about how to make sense of your current situation. You may feel like God has turned His back on you because things are spiraling out of control.

First of all, I’m so sorry for whatever you are going through. But God has not abandoned you no matter how alone you feel. God loves you and He is bringing you through this in order to make you stronger.

It’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to be disappointed with how things turned out. But you don’t have to just sit in those sorrows and isolate yourself from others or more importantly God. He is the one that can bring you back. He is the one that can heal you, restore you, sustain you. Even if you don’t receive immediate physical healing, turning to God will bring you peace.

God uses other people to speak into your life and encourage you, too. Listen to the ones who love you. Listen to the ones who want to encourage you. Let them support you when you can’t support yourself.

Because you are loved. You are needed. And you are cared about.

Every time I hit my personal rock bottom (it looks different for everyone and that’s okay), I realize that I have experienced this loneliness because God wanted to refocus my attention on what really matters.

I have been in one-sided relationships and it hurts so much. But we have to realize that when we ignore God, when we don’t allow His grace and love to be enough, we are that person in the relationship that isn’t doing their fair share. Who isn’t reciprocating the love. Who isn’t accepting the fact that they are unconditionally loved.

And obviously God has the most perfect love in the world that is so much greater than we can reciprocate. Than we have experienced. If you are reading this then you haven’t died for someone else. That is the ultimate sacrifice that God was willing to make for you because He loves you that much. You are worth saving. Repeat it after me: you. are. worth. saving.

Imagine that pain that I mentioned before about those one-sided relationships. You probably sacrificed a lot for that other person. You may have even given your heart to them, knowing that you wouldn’t get even an ounce of that love back.

But just realize that despite how much you cared about them, God cares about you a billion times more.

A lot of the advice we receive tells us to turn away from those relationships where the other person doesn’t reciprocate. But God will never turn away from our relationship with Him because He is unfailing and completely faithful.

You may have never experienced such loyalty before. That’s probably because as humans we have been taught to always put ourself first. But that’s not the way God works.

God puts His love for you above everything else. And I hope today that you can begin to put your relationship with God above everything else too.

Faith is scary. Faith is hard. But faith is the the thing that completes and establishes our relationship with God. There is no relationship on our end if there is no faith.

So today, even through all your painful struggles, remember that this is not the end. This is not a sign that you are doing the wrong thing.

Listen up. If you feel like God called you to be where you are right now, then you are doing the right thing. If you were looking for a sign saying that you are supposed to continue what you are doing, this is it.

You are beloved. You are treasured. You are loved.

Go out now and spread that message to the world.

You are never going to encounter a greater love than this.

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, for whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.

John 3:16

Just a Little Thing

I was inspired by the newest member of my family for this post– Rocky. He’s a two month old puppy who is anything but obedient. He is incredibly dramatic, playful, energetic, smart, and strong-willed. We love him, but it’s very frustrating when he doesn’t understand why we want him to do certain things, like oh I don’t know, maybe use the bathroom outside or not chew up things that don’t belong to him…!?

Sometimes we have to put Rocky in the crate in order to give him alone time to think about what he did wrong and why he needs us to train him. He hates it, but generally he feels better when he calms down and rests.

God gives us seasons where we are stuck (hello quarantine) or unable to fully function the way we want to. Other times, He might cause us to take the time to realize we need to turn to God alone, and not other sources of distraction. It’s up to us, though, whether we will grow and be able to move on from those seasons, or if we will scream and fight our way out.

Rocky is only four pounds and it’s pretty funny (although it gets old really fast) when he tries bossing us around, especially during mealtime. He thinks he deserves things that may hurt him or he isn’t ready for yet. He doesn’t always realize the power we actually have over him and how tiny he truly is in the grand scheme of things.

I think I struggle with this a lot, and you might too. My feelings are so strong, my desires seeming to be so valid, that I forget how minuscule I am in comparison to this entire universe. I forget that I barely know anything next to the Creator of the world. I need to step back and appreciate what God is telling me to do, because He, just like with us for our puppy, wants the best for us. He doesn’t want us to get hurt, but He may allow us to have difficulties in order to learn from them.

Today I challenge you to step back from a world centered around yourself. Instead, think about what God might have for you and what He is calling you to do. We all have a greater purpose that allows us to have a bigger impact.

Whether one door closes or another is opening, God has a plan for everything. We may not understand why things are happening the way they are right now, but eventually I hope you can see that God has been with you and will be with you every step of the way. You can have hope and comfort in the fact that God is in control of your life, no one else.

You will be taken care of.

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

What to Do with Regrets

It’s okay to have regrets. Wait–what?? Read on to find out why.

I’m going to say something that people who know me are going to be shocked by.

It’s ok to have regrets.

You’re probably like, uh…then why do you talk about taking risks? Stepping out of your comfort zone? Emphasizing a life WITHOUT regrets?

Well, regrets are a part of life, and pretty much unavoidable. Of course I don’t like regrets. You shouldn’t just get comfortable with constantly having them. But they are not something that we should necessarily dwell on if we can’t do anything more about the situation.

That’s not to say that we shouldn’t learn from our past mistakes– of course we should reflect on them enough to not repeat them.

But everything that happens is part of God’s greater plan for our lives.

That job you turned down. That date that didn’t happen. That class you decided not to take. That conversation that wasn’t had. That missed opportunity.

Those didn’t happen because something better was in store for you.

Back when I started this blog, I was dealing a lot with my own past regrets. I even have a blog post in my drafts that is titled “How to Live a Life Without Regrets”. I wanted a second chance. I thought it was too late. But it wasn’t.

God gave me a second chance to do what I had longed to have done before.

It didn’t go the way I had imagined before. I wasn’t actually missing out on such a big opportunity after all.

Yet, I’m very grateful for that second chance. It gave me confidence, helped a relationship, and brought some truth to the surface. God loves giving us another try.

But whether or not you find out from experience that perhaps what you regretted was not as great as originally thought or you never know what it could’ve been, just remember that your past doesn’t define you. What your life looks like now is what it’s meant to be. You can work hard to prevent having regrets, like taking risks and going for new opportunities, but if you don’t have to beat yourself up over what’s been said and done already.

You are here for an incredible purpose and nothing you can do will change God’s plan for your life. God is here in the seasons of waiting. The seasons of lonliness. The seasons of questioning. Be willing to listen to His still, small voice. Even in the dark, when you’re alone with your thoughts. God is there, working in your life.

The plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations.

Pslam 33: 11

Filling Up From the Well

There is so much for us to think about as we grieve how our nation has treated people with injustice and without understanding. These days may feel dreary for you, whether you are personally affected or joining in the grieving. Today my pastor spoke on this issue, and how the most important thing we can do is listen to those who are hurting right now.

A lot of us are going through different seasons in our lives, whether we are dealing with issues related to what’s going on in the nation or not. I’m sure that you have people in your life that need to feel God’s unconditional love from you. But the hardest thing to do is give out that love when we have the wrong priorities.

Sometimes we give so much because we feel like we have to. God will equip us with everything we need, but we have to spend time praying, listening to God, and resting before we can give out that love to others. We need to drink from the well before we can give the living water to others.

There is so much I could say. There is so much I want to say. But instead I would like you to reflect on whether or not you are effectively showing God’s love to others. Have you been able to feel nourished too? Take care of yourself as well as others, but remember that everyone comes from different situations. Everyone has a different past. Everyone is a precious human being created in God’s image and deserves life and love. Whether or not you can relate to them doesn’t affect whether or not you can be an effective brother or sister in Christ to them. If you respect them and are there for them, then you can make them feel seen and loved.

The best thing you can do right now is to demonstrate God’s unfailing love without judgement. Listen, pray, and take time to just sit in God’s own love for you too.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.

-1 John 4:16

Seeing People as People

“Everyone of us needs to show how much we care for each other and, in the process, care for ourselves.”

Princess Diana

I think that it’s easy, especially because we are social distancing and doing most of our interactions online, to forget that people are really people. People are human beings, created in the likeness of God, and have a purpose. Every single one. And that includes you.

I have a relative who does not live near me, and he has often done things that would seem very self-centered. In fact, that’s been his trademark his entire life. I think that would be a fair accusation to make, too, considering his high expectations of others yet his own failure to live up to those expectations himself. I’ve never felt the “love” or concern from him, even though I should, and my family has made considerable more effort to reach out than he has. It’s easy for me to think poorly of him and forget that he is a person. Yet…

I talked to him on the phone today for the first time in months. And I remembered that he is a person.

Sometimes it takes reaching out and hearing someone’s voice or seeing someone’s face to realize how they are just as important as the person who shows you God’s love. I hope you have a community full of people that make you feel appreciated and cared for. But it’s still important to take the time to love even the difficult people who have let you down because perhaps it will help them change. Even if it won’t, you will have made them feel the way you wanted to feel.

However, don’t rely on those people or really anyone to tell you how you need to feel about yourself. Extend yourself the same grace and compassion that you want to experience. God made you very special and He wants you to not doubt yourself, or who you have become. You need to remember that you are your biggest advocate to others and you if you see yourself the way God sees you, then you don’t have to worry about the things that you compare yourself to. You should use opportunities to grow to become more like Jesus, but you should also feel satisfied where you are right now, because God’s love will sustain you.

Anyway, whether it’s an annoying coworker, a frustrating family member, or a person who has disappointed you, I hope you can see them the way God sees them today. And more importantly, I hope you can also feel God’s presence in your life and feel just as worthy and valuable as you are. ❤

“A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself.”

~Proverbs 11:17

Driven By Fear

“Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death.”

— James F. Byrnes

You don’t have to be afraid anymore.

You heard me right. Repeat it. Write it on your hand, a piece of paper, your journal. You don’t have to be afraid anymore.

You’re probably thinking, “Hannah, we’re in the middle of a global pandemic right now. Remember?”

Yeah, it’s painful obvious to me. But I also have found through this time in quarantine that the quote “the only thing to fear is fear itself” is literally one of the most accurate things ever.

Fear is what holds us back. Let me prove my point.

We get angry at other people and that ruins relationships, right? It’s because we are afraid of what would happen if they won or if they didn’t get what they “deserved”.

We worry about people and end up criticizing them because of that fear that they won’t turn out right. Again…fear is the driving force behind breaking the relationship or straining it.

We don’t do things that could build others up, strengthen us, or give us new perspective, causing us to feel trapped. We regret things because we give into fear and let go of trust.

We need to flip that around. We need to give into trust and let go of fear.

Of course I’m saying that we should be careful and mindful of others. We shouldn’t just allow people to do whatever they want when they are hurting others or themselves. But we need to realize that we aren’t in control of anything except our mindsets. And if we trust God, we can have hope, joy, and peace. We don’t have to be afraid.

Fear has caused me great grief in the past. But I’m learning alongside you to let go.

Today, let Jesus’ love be enough. Let yourself realize that you are protected. Nothing happens without it being meant to happen. You don’t have to be afraid anymore.

Freedom sounds so fresh. We long for it right now. So take a hold of the driver’s seat and push fear aside. You’re in control of what’s going on in that head of yours, not fear. Don’t let fear win. Let love win. And I guarantee that you will suddenly feel a burden lift and the skies opening up for you. We can get through this together.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

1 John 4:8

Trusting God Through Everything

First of all, I’d like to apologize since I was really getting into the groove of posting regularly, just to abruptly stop even though right now is the perfect time to share encouragement (even though I believe every moment is a good time for encouragement), but especially through all of the changes going on in our lives right now with the Coronavirus. People are stressed, worried about catching the virus, losing their jobs, loved-ones getting it, and maybe even how to stay sane while feeling isolated from others.

Before I go on any further, please know that all of you out there are in my prayers. I know that many are going through much severer times than I am right now. I feel very fortunate that my grandparents in Hong Kong are okay, people are trying to do the right thing and stay home to protect others around me, and much of my family is staying employed. However, I know that is not the case for many people, and I am determined to do my part to encourage those who may have hit their rockiest time right now, and if there’s anything I can do for you specifically, let me know.

I recently saw a video from a singer that I follow, and her message was that you can say that you trust someone as much as you want, but you can never truly know if you do until it’s put to the test. You have to have that trust be put into action for it to go into effect.

For example, if your friend claims that you can tell her anything, you won’t really know if you believed that statement until you tell her something personal. Or when a little kid is stuck inside a burning building, he has to demonstrate his trust for his parents by being willing to jump out the window into their arms, knowing that they will catch him.

This virus and all the consequences surrounding it are a test to see if we really trust God.

I have noticed a startling pattern in my life. Often during my hardest times in my relationship with God, the thing that has brought me back has been when I truly had no other option but to trust God, and He’s always been able to pull through. Now, I’m saying this while knowing that a lot of my prayers have not been answered the way I wanted them to. I’m going through some situations with people that are frustrating and some of them have ended up poorly, even if I prayed about them. That doesn’t mean that God isn’t there for me.

I’m also not saying that it’s easy to trust God. It’s been really hard for me lately to trust Him, to be completely honest.

The other day, someone told me that I seemed to have great confidence in my faith. I wish that were true. I am confident that my faith has grown over the years, through difficult circumstances and through kindness poured out from others, or directly from God in the Bible. But you don’t have to be without doubts to trust God. You just have to be willing to not simply think “I trust God”, but to actually apply it in your life. You have to not only pray that God will help you, but stop worrying about it. If you are actively looking for God’s hand in your life, you will find it. That I am sure of.

For all those Disney fans out there, I have to say that one of my all-time favorite scenes is where Aladdin has his hand stretched out to Jasmine and he says, “Do you trust me?” I personally think that this is one of the most romantic scenes in all of the Disney movies I’ve seen because it shows a depth in their relationship and a true conflict that many face in their relationships.

Unlike Jasmine, who barely has any reasons to actually trust Aladdin, we have a multitude of reasons why we should trust God. Take a look at His promises in the Bible. Think about the narrow escapes you’ve made in your own life, or what God’s done in other people’s lives. We have reason to trust God through this difficult time, and others to come.

God is asking you always the same question– “Do you trust me?”

So the question is, are you willing to make the leap of faith to prove your answer?

“But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.”

Psalm 5:11

True Joy = Releasing Control

Returning to Our Regularly Scheduled Program…

So…remember how I said I would be talking about joy as my first “series”? Remember how that was like…five months ago or something? Well, as you can see, I often go off topic and somehow wander back, ha-ha. Anyway, I have been thinking about joy again, so I wanted to pop into this series again, although I’m not sure if my next post will be related to joy, we’ll see.

Inherited Control-Freakness

I come from a long line of control freaks. I’m not being judgmental when I say this, they are self-proclaimed. I, myself, am also a bit of a control freak. I might not seem like it on the surface level, because I tend to go along with what other people want and I try to be flexible because I care deeply about pleasing others. However, I am actually quite stubborn, and I inwardly panic whenever things don’t go the way I plan.

I am more like this when I am placed in leadership positions or just when planning my own life, but my family often tries to control one another. A certain member of my family sets out what the other person must eat for lunch each day, and gets irritated if that person does not eat it. Money, food, how a room is decorated…those are just a few things that I often have to argue about with my family because I get frustrated with them trying to control me.

Am I saying that planning is a bad thing? NO!!!! I am definitely not, because you should be prepared and it’s silly to go into situations and build more stress for yourself if you don’t prepare. However, I am saying that at some point, the only way to have full faith in God and in His plan for your life is going along with “God’s flow”.

Going with the Flow

So I have this friend, and we occasionally talk about the future. Every time, he repeatedly states how he just “goes with the flow” and acts like he has no control over his life. Later on, I talked to another guy and he basically said the same thing. I feel like the world is often split into two groups: The Planners and the Floaters. Neither are wrong, yet neither are right.

Going with the flow may appear to relieve more stress and show more faith in God. But God will only work with you if you’re willing to actually, you know, do your part? Frankly, I feel like going with the flow in ALL areas of your life might actually add more stress because you often step into situations and are faced with a bunch of decisions that have to be made on the spot. I am horrible at that, so I could never float through life that way. However, there are definitely decisive people out there, so if that works for you, I’m glad.

The combination of going with the flow and always being prepared is going with God’s flow. I know that sounds a little silly, but that’s the only name I can think of that accurately depicts what I’m speaking of.

Going with God’s flow means that you are trusting God and not freaking out when things don’t go the way you anticipated. However, it also means that you are willing to work hard and still prepare for the future, not just expecting things to somehow work out.

How Does this Relate to Joy?

Have you ever stressed over something, an event perhaps, that you were in charge of. You were so panicked that by the end of it, you wanted to just go away and never be in charge again? While others enjoyed themselves, you spent the night stressing over everything and worrying that things weren’t going to work out. In that situation, you are missing out on having a good time, or experiencing joy.

In another situation, you may have planned every last detail down to the tablecloth design and then everything still ends up going poorly. Believe me, this has happened to me on numerous occasions and I can feel your pain! But because you were so disappointed and discouraged, you never took the time to learn from the experience. And in a way, this also causes you to lose joy because you may end up making the same mistakes in the future.

I don’t believe that joy and fear can coexist, as I stated in a previous post, and trying to control everything is a way of demonstrating fear. It’s basically telling God to His face that you don’t trust Him and you think you know more than Him.

Ouch, that wasn’t what I was thinking when I freaked out over not being able to decide the location for my last meeting, was I?

It’s easy to not realize what our little habits are doing to destroy our lives and our relationship with God. But the more ingrained these thought patterns become, thinking “oh, if only things had gone the way I had planned” or getting angry with people, the more we lose track of who we are supposed to be: joyful humans who are sharing the love of God. It’s easy to let negative thoughts fill our heads. We think that criticizing ourselves for something we can’t control is okay, and it’s not. That is ultimately shaping our actions and our opinions of ourselves.

So today, try to let loose a little bit and see what happens. Trust God and believe that even if things don’t go exactly the way you want, maybe something better was actually waiting for you. It hopefully will also help your relationships too.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”

~Matthew 6:25