Tag: Life advice

The Thing We Fear Most: Rejection

Have people in the past made you feel worthless? Today I’ll share how to overcome rejection and where to find hope again.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately. I’m sure if I took a poll, most people would say they’d want to be reached out to or have people be real with them. Sometimes a simple call or even a “hello” can make a world of difference in someone’s life. Sometimes one vulnerable conversation can lead to a lasting relationship or a place of healing. Yet we often allow our fears to talk us out of being the one to reach out or start an honest conversation. And what do we fear, you might ask? Rejection.

The first thing that comes to mind when I see the word “rejection” is its prevalence in romantic relationships, when one person likes another, and the feelings aren’t reciprocated. While this is a big area where people lose confidence, it is not the only place where rejection seeps into our lives.

A person close to me was rejected by her parents and a step parent and spent much of her growing up years undervalued and treated as “second-rate” to her step-siblings. Through this trauma of not having a real, permanent home, nor trustworthy guardians, decades later, she is still experiencing the effects.

I recently was able to spend time with her and I saw how even the ones she considers close to her were really kept at a distance. It breaks my heart to see how the rejection she experienced as a child has caused her to avoid being rejected by family, friends, and partners in her adult years by not letting others in.

The worst part is, this fear continues to keep her from seeing her true worth. Her family and friends want to know her, the real her, not just the person hiding behind walls of generosity and strength. Yet past rejection has led her to believe that no one truly cares about her or wants to be around her when she’s herself.

It makes sense that we fear rejection. After all, what’s the best feeling in the world? Being loved and wanted. So of course the worst feeling in the world is being rejected.

And when we’re rejected, it’s not really as simple as “oh I just want to stay friends” or “I don’t need a kid around right now”; it’s really an attack on our identity. It’s saying we truly are as worthless as we feel sometimes. It’s our worst fear coming true: that being ourselves isn’t enough and there’s nothing we can do about it.

Though the obvious root of rejection comes from early experiences with it, such as in my previous examples, or when friends or others we admire dump us, there is an even deeper meaning behind our fear of rejection.

When we allow others to define us, we forget the only One whose opinion matters: God’s.

When we get bogged down by criticism or feeling ignored, we have to remember that our worth is found in God. When we look to people to decide how valuable we are, which we’ve all done I’m sure, then we are not believing that God’s word is true.

God says we are chosen, loved, worth so much, even death on a cross. And when we spend time with God, the One who loves us the most, and with people who show us God’s love, we will start feeling worthy again.

Moving on and letting go of people is hard. I recently read a story to some kids about how a hermit crab had to let go of his old friends and old shell once he outgrew them. It was really hard for him because he cared about them, yet he knew that was the only way he could survive.

Sometimes, we have to let go of people and things who don’t allow us to grow into the people God made us to be. If they don’t affirm God’s feelings toward us, then it might be time to move on. I know it’s so difficult, but I promise that once you embrace who God made you to be, you will start feeling worth loving again.

 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. 

Ephesians 1:4-6

Song Recommendation: Already Enough, by Fearless Soul: https://youtu.be/kFQ7qiqm6WA

Does God Love Me When I Don’t Feel Worthy?

Do you ever worry about God being disappointed when you don’t feel your best? Here’s some advice and encouragement!

Something that stuck with me one time was a remark someone said regarding self-worth. “It really must grieve God’s heart when we don’t see ourselves the way He sees us.”

When I first heard this, I was startled. But of course, isn’t God upset when we aren’t kind to ourselves? However, that only made me feel worse when I experienced self-doubt or self-criticism. On top of feeling worthless, I felt like I was angering God.

While God obviously wants us to see ourselves the way He sees us, I want to assure you that God still loves you when you don’t feel worthy. How am I so confident of this fact? Well, because Jesus says it pretty directly in a familiar parable.

In the parable of the prodigal son, the son had clear reasons for feeling unlovable. After all, he dishonored his father by demanding his inheritance before his father even had the chance to die, and then he wasted it all in a short period of time. He was stuck cleaning after pigs, the “dirtiest” animal by Jewish customs. That was the lowest of the low. He’d rather be a servant at his old home than make pig slop.

Imagine the humiliation of trying to re-enter a space where he was confident and arrogant after failing as miserably as he did. Yet he was willing to risk it in order to get a second chance.

Close your eyes for a moment and picture yourself at your lowest point. Feel the soft sand beneath your feet as you trudge up the hill to your home. There’s a weight on your shoulders, a weight that has only grown heavier as the mistakes pile up. Your clothes are torn and stinky. You’re drenched in mud. But a familiar scent of sweet flowers sends tingles down your back.

Open your eyes and squint–can it be? Your father, a ginormous smile on his face, running faster than any other elderly man has run before. He’s got no weapon in his hands, only open arms, ready to embrace you.

You stop dead in your tracks. Beads of sweat drip off your face and you lift a hand to swat them away. But before you get the chance, your father sweeps you into a giant hug, his familiar scent of sawdust comforting you.

After he steps away, you blunder through your speech, ending with, “I am no longer worthy to be called your child.”

That’s exactly what the prodigal son said, “I am no longer worthy to be called your son.” No longer worthy.

But how does the father respond? He doesn’t even answer that. He might chuckle, like, how could you possibly have thought that? Then he sends out his servants to prepare a feast to welcome you home.

What bigger act of love is there than combining all five love languages together? The father wanted to spend time with his son by racing to see him. He gave him a big hug and kiss. He gave him the gifts of service and presents by preparing this party and pampering him. And he proudly announced to the world that this is his son, who was “dead and has come alive again”. Not wasting time. Not humiliating the family. But dead, lost, missed.

We so easily believe the lie from the enemy that our feelings towards ourselves reflect how God and others see us. When we feel embarrassed, we are sure we can’t be used for good. When we fall into temptation, we believe we can never be forgiven. When we make a mistake, we think we are unlovable.

But God says otherwise. He doesn’t go off of feelings; He goes off facts. And the fact is, He loves us so much that He wants to welcome us home after every mistake, every self-doubt, and every stumble.

Today, if you’ve been feeling ashamed of yourself, remember how God sees you. He loves you so much and He’s ready for you to come home.

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

Luke 15:20

Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you.

Acts 13:38

Earning Grace

Do you struggle to comprehend the true meaning of grace? Here is some advice and encouragement.

I have yet to understand the purpose behind reading The Great Gatsby in high school. Although it was entertaining, I hardly remember any compelling themes or relatable topics in the book. The one thing I do remember, however, is an enlightening conversation we had regarding “new money” and “old money”.

New money is money earned by someone during their lifetime. They had to work for it. Old money is inherited money, passed down from generation to generation.

My teacher asked us, “Which seems more fair? New money or old money?”

We responded unanimously, “New money!” Even though it didn’t seem fair for either party to be filthy rich, at least with new money, it is well-deserved.

I’ve been trying to comprehend the meaning of grace over the past several weeks, and why we have such difficulty accepting God’s grace in our lives. Then I came to a profound realization while reading What’s So Amazing About Grace, by Philip Yancy. The reason we don’t understand grace is because it goes against what our society deems “fair”.

Think about it. Does it seem fair for one employee to work seven hours and get paid a hundred dollars while another works one hour and gets the same paycheck? No it doesn’t! In fact, it probably irritates us just thinking about this scenerio.

Yet Jesus gave that same example when explaining God’s generosity and grace to His disciples. Grace doesn’t make any sense. We can’t really make it make sense. When we do something wrong, we expect to have to make up for it. Of course God wants us to repent, but He doesn’t require us to do a certain number of good deeds to earn back His affection.

Let’s be honest: none of us deserve God’s grace. I don’t, you don’t, no one does. Yet we all are given this priceless gift simply because God loves us. We can’t do anything to earn God’s love. It’s simply there.

So what now? How can we show that we understand God’s grace in our daily lives?

Well, by extending that grace to others and to ourselves.

And I know that it’s hard. I struggle with it too. It means forgiving someone before they say sorry, letting go of past resentment even when it seems “too late”, having the self-control not to snap when someone pushes your buttons, not criticizing yourself over the littlest (or biggest) mistake.

But when we extend that kind of love through grace, we are finally showing others the true nature of Jesus. Sure, anyone can be kind, because it makes sense to be kind. Sure, anyone can be responsible, because responsibility pays off. Sure, anyone can be loyal, because there are consequences for being unfaithful. But can anyone be grace-filled? No, because grace doesn’t make sense.

Yet it is by grace that we are here. It is by grace that we are still breathing. It is by grace that we are saved and loved and chosen by Jesus.

And when you finally allow yourself to soak in the meaning behind those words and the verses that pour out Jesus’ love for us, you will begin to see your life change.

 He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.

2 Timothy 1:9

Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given.

John 1:16

When I stumbled,

I stumbled

not backward

but forward.

So that when I fell,

I fell into grace.

Morgan Harper Nichols

Too Late…Or Right on Time?

Do you feel like life is passing you by? Here’s hope for the times when you feel too late to make a difference.

Growing up, one of my biggest fears was being late. Late to school, late to appointments, late to practices. My stomach would churn, my heart would race, I would gag in the car on my way if I knew there was a chance I’d be late.

So often, we are afraid that things are too late. We think God’s answer to our prayer is too late. We’re too old to meet someone new. We’re too burned out to make a difference. We’ve been sick too long to be healed, and if we are healed, then why didn’t God heal us fast enough?

I think this stems from our society’s fear of being late. It started off as a sign of respect, being on time. That’s a good thing. It’s good and professional to be on time to meet. But now there’s this stigma around being late to life events. Oh, you don’t know what you’re going to do with your life by the time high school’s over? Too late! Oh, you aren’t married and you’re over thirty? Yikes. Oh, you haven’t gotten the job of your dreams by age forty? Guess you never will!

Besides how hurtful these assumptions are, and how they are completely WRONG, they also cause us to doubt God’s timing. And let me tell you something, God’s timing is never off.

I’ll never forget 10th grade, the year that completely changed my life and my relationship with God. I struggled with my mental health; I was really lonely. I thought my loneliness would be “cured” if I had someone to eat lunch with. I tried reaching out to different people, but after being rejected countless times, I stopped. Then, a few weeks before school got out, I realized a fellow classmate was also sitting all alone, and we were able to eat lunch together for the rest of the year.

I kept wondering why God didn’t allow us to connect until so close to the end of the year. I wouldn’t have had to suffer the rejection and humiliation of being all alone, I told God. But then, maybe I wouldn’t have realized how much I need God. I might not have had this burning passion to reach those who feel lost and alone, unseen and unheard. Though that year was tough, really tough, God used it to bring about longer lasting effects than if I’d gotten what I wanted right away.

Waiting often comes with pain, whether we’re waiting to be appreciated, loved, healed, or valued. But in the end, pushing through it is worth it. There have been many times when I’ve wanted to give up on things that God’s called me to do. His answers haven’t come “fast enough” or the reward for the action, whether it be a word of thanks or a renewed relationship, haven’t been given to me yet. But I’ve come to realize that God gives us those things right when we need them most. Not when we think we need them, but when we actually do.

And the best part is, those things that we think we have to wait for, we can find in God. He calls us chosen, loved, valued, seen. He loves us and wants us to come running to Him when we feel anything less than that.

Don’t give up hope. God is never late. He is right on time.

I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him.

Ephesians 3:16-21

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9

But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.

2 Peter 3:8

The “Unforgivable” Sin

We all have that one mistake that we doubt God can forgive. But through sharing a piece of my story, I hope I can encourage you and remind you that God will forgive anything you’ve done.
Trigger Warning: Suicide

We all have that one sin, that one mistake. The one that “doesn’t qualify” when Jesus says our sins are forgiven. Sometimes we hide it, ashamed. Other times we talk about it a lot, seeking validation from others. Yes, it is bad enough to still feel burdened by.

But when I tell you that your sins are forgiven by Jesus, I mean it with my whole heart. Even that one sin. Even that one mistake. Even if you never got the chance to say “I’m sorry”. Even if you think it’s too late.

Take this from a person who has spent the last two and a half years trying to forgive herself for the biggest mistake she’s ever made in her life.

When people look at me and my life, they might laugh at the idea of me committing an “unforgivable” sin. They might think, “Oh, she’s probably gossiped or lied or put something before God, nothing that serious.”

To be honest, it’s almost harder to be seen that way than as someone who is notorious for doing the “big bad sins”. (But, by the way, all sins come down to the same cost, Jesus’ death on the cross, making no sin “worse” or “better” than another). When you have the reputation as the “good Christian”, people are less inclined to believe you’ve suffered pain or separation from God.

It’s hard to admit and talk about what happened. I worry people won’t see it as a “big enough” deal. I wonder if they will see me differently. I don’t even know what sort of reaction I want from people.

But I’ve come to realize that everything happens in our lives to teach us something, perhaps lessons we are supposed to share with others. More importantly, they should bring us closer to God. And, though it’s taken time, this one certainly did. If my story helps someone else on their healing process, then it’s worth being vulnerable.

It was January. I met him three months before– the guy who changed my life. When we first met, I thought he was nice, perhaps overly friendly, but the longer I knew him, the more my discomfort grew. To say I knew him would be an overstatement. The truth is, I really only had a few interactions with him. I was scared of him, I think, and of what I believed his intentions were. Each interaction sent me into a spiral of hateful thoughts. They stemmed from a place of fear and insecurity. I should’ve said something, but I didn’t. Instead, I dreaded seeing him and allowed my feelings to consume me.

When I say hateful, I truly mean hateful. They were unlike anything I had ever felt before or since. These feelings burned inside my chest. I could barely look at him; I could only glare. I remember walking by myself and thinking, I wish he were dead.

The last time I saw him was around Christmas. We were in a packed gym, and he was playing spike ball with some friends. By this point, I had made it clear I wasn’t interested. The ball rolled over to me, and he came to get it. He started saying thank you, like he expected me to pick it up. Instead, I moved to the side and avoided looking at him. Yet he thanked me again, and we made eye contact. Then he turned away, and I never saw him again.

January 22nd, 2019. I found out in an email that he died by suicide.

I can’t even begin to describe the weight of guilt I felt. For a week, there was a pressing sensation on my shoulders and I had a constant headache. I didn’t cry because I didn’t know what I was grieving. After all, I barely knew him.

I learned more about him after he died than while he was alive. He was so different than the person I made him out to be in my head. In many ways, that made it all the worse.

It just so happened that a retreat was scheduled the following weekend. Throughout the retreat, I felt isolated, closed off from everyone else. No one reached out to me, perhaps because no one knew I was hurting. I took walks on my own and sobbed, crying out to God and asking Him why such a horrible person–me–could still be walking the earth. What good was I?

At the same time, I had lost several friends and felt incredibly alone. I wondered if this was some sort of punishment from God. Maybe this is why I’m alone, I thought, because I’m a terrible person.

On the last night, my youth pastor gathered us in a circle to pray for each other. Many shed tears as they relayed their current situations. Some recently lost grandparents, another’s father was dying of cancer, and several were dealing with anxiety.

My issues, loneliness and guilt, couldn’t compare to their problems. Why would God want to listen or help the girl who wished death upon His precious child? Or so I thought.

When it came to my turn, I could barely squeeze out my words. I finally whispered, “I just feel so lonely.”

To my surprise, several peers came around me and prayed. One prayer, which I’ll never forget, went something like this:

“Dear God, help Hannah see that she’s never alone and that no one is better or worse than her, but that we’re all equal.”

It was a very simple prayer, yet the weight on my shoulders was lifted. I felt lighter, more alive.

To say that solved all my problems or that it even caused me to believe that I was forgiven would be a lie. It has taken years to understand that God has forgiven me and that He can use me and that situation to help others. But it showed me that God cared, and continues to care and love us, even when we’re at our worst. When we feel unforgivable.

I don’t know what sort of “unforgivable sin” is burdening your heart. But I believe that God has already forgiven you and doesn’t want you to be bogged down by the past, but rather look forward with joy to what He has in store for you. It’s also okay if the healing process is taking longer than you thought or what others claim it should be. But you are healing, I can promise you that.

I also want you to know that if you feel unseen or unloved, I’m so sorry. But you are not unseen or unloved. You are treasured, adored, by the most powerful Being in the universe–Jesus. He loves you. He sacrificed everything for you. He wants you to know that you are so special and so needed and so, so dearly loved.

And if no one’s said this to you today, I love you. ❤️

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 1:9

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Colossians 3:13

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.

Ephesians 1:7

A wonderful song about God loving us at our worst, titled appropriately enough, Even at My Worst, by Blanca: https://youtu.be/qiD-UzbH5VA

Our Reunion with Jesus

Are you worried about Jesus’ return? Here’s some encouragement!

I’ll always remember one “Truth or Dare” game I played with my close friend in middle school. We both always picked truth since we were afraid of the dares, and we ended up learning a lot about each other that way. Once, she asked me, “What’s your biggest fear?”

I was ashamed to admit (because you can’t lie in Truth or Dare, right?) that my biggest fear was Jesus’ return. I told her I remembered a part in the Bible about no one knowing when Jesus would come back, so I’d constantly think “Jesus is coming today” in the hopes that He wouldn’t come back.

You might laugh, as I currently am, at my logic. However, I’m sure many of us have been worried about the end of the world, and thus Jesus’ return, before. It makes sense to be afraid of the tribulation and even what the rapture will be like. But there’s one thing that we shouldn’t be scared of, and that’s meeting Jesus.

I like to think about it in this way (if you have any long distance relationships/friendships, you’ll understand):

It’s sort of like a long distance friendship. You can get to know each other over the screen, through calls and Facetime. You will grow to love them and care about them. You can even get a sense for what they are like, really like, and can share deep things.

But nothing compares to when you finally get to be together in person. You are a little nervous, but mostly excited, and it’s like the love, care, and affection has multiplied exponentially when you finally get to hug, hear each other’s laughter in person, and spend time together.

I’ll always remember the two times I’ve been able to meet up with online friends. Two of my closest friends, in fact, live far away from me.

The first time I drove to Pennsylvania while on a trip in Michigan visiting family. The car ride felt forever, but when we finally pulled up to her driveway, there she was, in the flesh, waving at me with a big smile on her face. We only had a few hours together, but we cherished each and every moment, and I left wanting more time.

The second time was last summer, when my friend flew from Colorado to visit me. She risked a lot coming, since it was during the pandemic, but we had planned the trip in advance and we both knew she just had to still come. I wandered through the airport looking for her, and I nearly screamed when I finally found her. I remember her turning around and seeing her eyes light up. We embraced, and for a moment, it was like time had stopped.

If it was that awesome meeting friends, it will be even more amazing meeting Jesus.

Just think, the One who loves you the most, died for you, and calls you His chosen creation, is waiting for you. It will be like seeing all your loved ones embodied in one being, only without their flaws and with an infinite amount of love.

So don’t be afraid for when Jesus comes. Instead, get to know Him. The reason I can have confidence now is because I’ve spent the years between that Truth or Dare game and now reading the Bible, praying, and seeing Jesus work in many lives, including mine. It’s always awkward and nerve-wracking meeting a stranger, so don’t make Jesus one. Instead, remember that He loves you more than words can ever describe.

The end is coming. Every second that passes brings it closer to now. So don’t waste this precious time we’ve been given to build relationships with others to bring them closer to Jesus and show them His love.

Behold, I am coming soon, bringing my recompense with me, to repay everyone for what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.

Revelation 22:12-13

Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord.

1 Thessalonians 4:17

A Season of Preparation

Are you in a season of preparation right now? Here’s encouragement when God’s plans are different than ours.

Sometimes, God really wants to make things clear to us. We avoid it, we dismiss it, we try to forget about it. But God will continue to bring it to mind until we must admit that He’s trying to tell us something.

That happened to me today. A motivational influencer shared a video where we were supposed to take a random screenshot and whatever word was on the screen we landed on would be our “word of the month”. When I first did it, I got preparation. I rolled my eyes and thought, “I’m already prepared. Why did I get this word? It’s boring.” Then I proceeded to try again, hoping for a different word, and even purposely waiting until a different time to take the screenshot.

But yet again, I managed to land on “preparation”. I saved the photo and stared at it a moment. This must mean something. The longer I thought about it, the more I realized that this word is very applicable to the situation I’m in right now. I’m in a season of transition, and I’ve been restless. I’ve been wanting to do more, not desiring to wait for God. But God is using this season to prepare me for what’s next, even when I don’t know what that “next” is.

The more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s pretty amazing that God’s the one in control. He’s the only one who knows the future and when He doesn’t give us what we want, it’s because He’s doing something better.

Take graduation weekend, for example.

We had family over from California and we were hoping to bring them around Seattle. However, throughout the entire weekend, there was pouring rain. I’m sure many families of graduates, including mine, were hoping and praying for sunshine, yet all we got was rain.

God still provided for us, by giving us the idea to travel over the mountains to a small town that had drier weather. But He had an even bigger plan in store.

Two weeks later, we experienced the worst heatwave I’ve ever been through. We reached record-high temperatures. Yet God provided rain earlier to protect our plants and prevent wildfires. Had all our plants shriveled up and died or worse, we experience the effects of fires, we would be in a much dire situation than getting a little wet during a ceremony.

God knew what was going to happen and that’s why He didn’t answer our earlier prayers the way we had hoped. But in fact, He was looking out for us, and now I’m grateful for the rain.

I’m not sure about you, but being in a season of preparation is hard. God challenges us and tests us to make sure we are strong enough for what’s ahead. But as my mom eloquently stated, “God knows the future, and He will equip you for what’s ahead.”

You are being equipped right now. You may not know why. You may think God’s tactics are strange. But hey, God’s logic is not our logic, and that makes life a lot more interesting.

But if you listen and grow in the ways God’s calling you, you will be ready.

 Now may the God of peace, who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus—the great Shepherd of the sheep—with the blood of the everlasting covenant, 21 equip you with all that is good to do His will, working in us what is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ. Glory belongs to Him forever and ever.

Hebrews 13:20-21

The Mysterious World of Love Languages

Whether they’re your friend, parent, sibling, or significant other, you want them to feel loved by you. But how can you go about doing that in a way that’s special to them?

Let’s be honest–we all have a preferred way of showing love to others and receiving it. Sometimes, one person’s knitted scarf is another person’s bear hug. It’s important to understand the different love languages in order to help others feel God’s love. Jesus’ biggest command was “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” This seems simple in theory, but when we combine this command with people who experience love differently than us, it gets complicated. But the best way to understand others is by learning about them.

So…how do we go about doing that?

First of all, we must understand the different love languages, which have been grouped into five categories:

  1. Physical Touch (Hugs, physically being present, rubbing one’s back…)
  2. Words of Affirmation (compliments, thank-you cards…)
  3. Gifts (things bought from the heart)
  4. Quality Time (long calls, spontaneous hang-outs, trips together…)
  5. Acts of Service (doing extra chores, taking the kids for the day…)

So, now that you know all the types, let’s answer a few questions you might have surrounding them.

If I don’t experience one of these types, do they not love me?

Of course not! I used to wonder that, though. When I was growing up, I saw other kids get hugs from their parents all the time, while with my dad, it was more of a yearly thing. I learned to realize that his love language isn’t physical touch, but acts of service, since he was always doing things for me. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me, just that he shows it in a different way.

However, if someone close to you isn’t showing you the type of love that makes you feel loved, it’s possible they just don’t realize that you have a different love language than them. It’s important to speak up and share what makes you feel good. It’s also important to not get too caught up in what we think we lack and rather notice how to help others instead. Sometimes loving others ends up being an act of self-care as well.

Does my receiving type have to be the same as my giving type?

I like to think of people having two types of love languages: the type they give and the type they receive. Sometimes it’s the same, but often it’s different.

For me, I clearly love words, and speaking words of affirmation is my favorite love language. (Though it’s hard to choose just one!) But in terms of receiving love, I feel more loved when people spend quality time with me. To me, time is the most valuable gift a person has, and if they are willing to share it with me, then I am honored.

The bottom line is that it’s okay–good actually– if you encompass multiple types, enjoy all or only one of them, and experience love differently than how you give it out.

How can I find out people’s love langauges?

The first way is the most simple: just ask! Most people know what they enjoy, even if they don’t know the specific “categories”. You don’t have to feel shy about it; it shows that you care when you are willing to ask.

However, there are other ways of figuring this information out too. See how they show you or others love. Even if that’s not their primary receiving love language, I’m sure they still enjoy it and would appreciate the reciprocation. Notice what they talk about a lot and what they are passionate about. That can also give indications as to what they enjoy and what makes them feel alive.

Is there a way to love people “wrong”?

No! God gives us all different spiritual gifts. Yours might be making a delicious meal for a family in need while another’s is writing thoughtful cards. While it’s good to keep in mind what loved ones’ preferred love languages are, it’s also important to stay true to yourself when showing love to others. It may not feel authentic if you do something you are not comfortable with.

As always, follow God’s leading when it comes to loving others. He adores it when we show the world His compassion and kindness. When you follow His Spirit, you’ll be amazed all the people out there who are waiting to experience His love through you. ❤

And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Ephesians 3:18-19

Leaving a Lasting Legacy

What do you want to be known for? Here’s some encouragement and advice for the journey ahead.

A couple months ago, while scrolling aimlessly through videos, I stumbled across one that’s been on my mind ever since.

A woman, sitting in a studio, stared into the eyes of her camera audience and said, “If I could ask everyone one question, a question I know will change their lives, it would be this: What do you want written in your eulogy?”

I nearly dropped my phone. My eulogy? Isn’t that a little morbid? (And in case you don’t know what a eulogy is, which no shame if you don’t, it’s what people say about you after you die, usually at your funeral or in the newspaper)

But as she continued, her idea began making sense. We make a lot of small goals throughout our lives and things come up that distract us, and we forget our mission. But when we write out the main things we want to be known for, then we can prioritize them when we make decisions.

I recently completed a Bible study with a few friends on the topic of legacies. We were studying the legacies of women in the Bible, such as Ruth, Esther, Mary, and many others. If you think about it, we only get a snapshot of their lives. Usually just a short season, if even that. But they each did one or more things that made them remarkable, leaving lasting legacies.

But what makes someone even have a lasting legacy? Let’s be honest, there are so many people who have come and gone without much recognition. Does that make them less valuable than others whose names have outlived them?

No, not necessarily. There’s a song on the radio that goes something like, “I don’t want people to remember my name, only Jesus”. I love that reminder to not strive for worldly fame but instead pointing as many people as possible to Jesus.

And that’s also the ticket to having a lasting legacy– keeping Jesus’ mission, reaching everyone with His love, our mission too.

There are two main things to keep in mind when striving to create a lasting legacy:

Demonstrate Jesus’ qualities

Right now, jot down a list of five or so characteristics of Jesus’ that you admire. Maybe they are unconditional love, a forgiving heart, or a deep understanding of people. It’s pretty much impossible to suddenly obtain all of Jesus’ qualities at once, but if you have a few that are really meaningful for you to strive for, that’s a good start.

When we learn about people in the Bible, we don’t just learn about when they were with or referring to Jesus. We learn how they demonstrated His characteristics. Esther showed courage, Ruth demonstrated loyalty, and Mary provided an example of trust. Think about what qualities you want to be known for and what will be impactful to others.

Reach out to others

I saw a movie last night based on the life of a teenager who was sadly killed in a motorcycle accident, yet left a lasting legacy that touched the lives of thousands. In fact, 4,000 people attended her memorial service. The thing people remembered about her was that she saw every person, whether a stranger, an awkward kid at school, or a worker at a store, as a friend.

I haven’t met many people like that, and I’m guessing you haven’t either. That’s why people like this young woman are seen as an inspiration. But wouldn’t it be wonderful if everyone reached out when they saw someone hurting or alone? I’m sure our mental health crisis would no longer be such a crisis if this were the case. A lot of times, all it takes is one person reaching out, making sure that the people, even the people who seem to have it all together, are okay.

What if you’re that person? Wouldn’t you like to be known as the person who made life more bearable, even enjoyable, for others? Yes, it will come at the cost of your pride, considering reaching out to others can be a scary and humiliating experience. But in the end, isn’t a little embarrassment worth the potential gain?

What’s your legacy going to be?

Obviously, you won’t know right now what your legacy is going to be. None of us do. But we can think about what we’d like it to be and make proactive choices now instead of wasting time…like scrolling aimlessly through videos haha. In all seriousness, I believe that simply by doing what God calls you to do, whether that’s traveling to the other side of the world or staying right here, you will have a lasting legacy.

No matter what, just by being you and not for anything you can or will accomplish, you are loved. So loved. And you have an incredible purpose. ❤

One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.

Psalm 145:4

But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matthew 6:20-21

But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children’s children

Psalm 103:17

If you’re looking for a song about seeking Jesus above all else, this one is one of my favorites!

First, by Lauren Daigle: https://youtu.be/26Mqmc5rWM8

My “Origin” Story

Thank you for being a vital part of the Will to Wake Up community! Here is the story behind my blog!

As you might have noticed, The Will to Wake Up went through a few renovations this weekend! I’m hoping this new format makes it more user-friendly and inviting! Though this blog is reaching its two-year anniversary, I know many of you may be new! That’s why I’ve decided to share the origin story behind The Will to Wake Up.

As you can tell from the website link, I’m slightly obsessed with the Enneagram 🙂 I originally wanted to have a blog dedicated to writing about the Enneagram, but after about two posts, I ran out of things to talk about! That’s when I decided a faith/encouragement blog would be more inspirational.

Sure enough, it has been, after 143 posts, I still have more to say and learn with all of you!

The truth is, I was in a really bad place at the time of when I created this blog. I was in a season of loss, trials, and instability. I knew that I should draw closer to God through the hardships, yet I didn’t want to be alone anymore. I wanted to do more with my life than sit around and hope for things to get better. I wanted to make a difference–I still want to!–but I didn’t know how.

I prayed and listened to what people around me were saying: “You should make a blog!”, “You should do more with your writing!” ,”Share your writing with a bigger audience!”.

So, the morning after one of the hardest days of my life, I flipped open my laptop and decided to just do it. No more waiting around, no more feeling sorry for myself, no more wishing for a close relationship with God without doing anything about it.

I’ve gotten a lot of questions surrounding the name of this blog. To be honest, it just sort of came to me, as most inspiration does. I needed a wake-up call in my life, something or someone to motivate me. Then it hit me–God’s my will to wake up. He’s the reason I am given a second chance every morning. He’s the One who gives my life a purpose.

God filled me with an overwhelming amount of peace and joy as I learned to spend more time with Him when life gets difficult. I knew I had to share that with others.

Though I may not have hundreds of readers, I know that God is using this blog for amazing things. Every single comment reminds me that God works through everything. Every person is important and even if this blog only touches one life, that will make it all worth it.

I hope that you have and will find encouragement and love here. I am so, so grateful for you. ❤

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

John 4:7