Grace – Page 2 – The Will to Wake Up

Does God Love Me When I Don’t Feel Worthy?

Do you ever worry about God being disappointed when you don’t feel your best? Here’s some advice and encouragement!

Something that stuck with me one time was a remark someone said regarding self-worth. “It really must grieve God’s heart when we don’t see ourselves the way He sees us.”

When I first heard this, I was startled. But of course, isn’t God upset when we aren’t kind to ourselves? However, that only made me feel worse when I experienced self-doubt or self-criticism. On top of feeling worthless, I felt like I was angering God.

While God obviously wants us to see ourselves the way He sees us, I want to assure you that God still loves you when you don’t feel worthy. How am I so confident of this fact? Well, because Jesus says it pretty directly in a familiar parable.

In the parable of the prodigal son, the son had clear reasons for feeling unlovable. After all, he dishonored his father by demanding his inheritance before his father even had the chance to die, and then he wasted it all in a short period of time. He was stuck cleaning after pigs, the “dirtiest” animal by Jewish customs. That was the lowest of the low. He’d rather be a servant at his old home than make pig slop.

Imagine the humiliation of trying to re-enter a space where he was confident and arrogant after failing as miserably as he did. Yet he was willing to risk it in order to get a second chance.

Close your eyes for a moment and picture yourself at your lowest point. Feel the soft sand beneath your feet as you trudge up the hill to your home. There’s a weight on your shoulders, a weight that has only grown heavier as the mistakes pile up. Your clothes are torn and stinky. You’re drenched in mud. But a familiar scent of sweet flowers sends tingles down your back.

Open your eyes and squint–can it be? Your father, a ginormous smile on his face, running faster than any other elderly man has run before. He’s got no weapon in his hands, only open arms, ready to embrace you.

You stop dead in your tracks. Beads of sweat drip off your face and you lift a hand to swat them away. But before you get the chance, your father sweeps you into a giant hug, his familiar scent of sawdust comforting you.

After he steps away, you blunder through your speech, ending with, “I am no longer worthy to be called your child.”

That’s exactly what the prodigal son said, “I am no longer worthy to be called your son.” No longer worthy.

But how does the father respond? He doesn’t even answer that. He might chuckle, like, how could you possibly have thought that? Then he sends out his servants to prepare a feast to welcome you home.

What bigger act of love is there than combining all five love languages together? The father wanted to spend time with his son by racing to see him. He gave him a big hug and kiss. He gave him the gifts of service and presents by preparing this party and pampering him. And he proudly announced to the world that this is his son, who was “dead and has come alive again”. Not wasting time. Not humiliating the family. But dead, lost, missed.

We so easily believe the lie from the enemy that our feelings towards ourselves reflect how God and others see us. When we feel embarrassed, we are sure we can’t be used for good. When we fall into temptation, we believe we can never be forgiven. When we make a mistake, we think we are unlovable.

But God says otherwise. He doesn’t go off of feelings; He goes off facts. And the fact is, He loves us so much that He wants to welcome us home after every mistake, every self-doubt, and every stumble.

Today, if you’ve been feeling ashamed of yourself, remember how God sees you. He loves you so much and He’s ready for you to come home.

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
Luke 15:20

Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you.
Acts 13:38

Earning Grace

Do you struggle to comprehend the true meaning of grace? Here is some advice and encouragement.

I have yet to understand the purpose behind reading The Great Gatsby in high school. Although it was entertaining, I hardly remember any compelling themes or relatable topics in the book. The one thing I do remember, however, is an enlightening conversation we had regarding “new money” and “old money”.

New money is money earned by someone during their lifetime. They had to work for it. Old money is inherited money, passed down from generation to generation.

My teacher asked us, “Which seems more fair? New money or old money?”

We responded unanimously, “New money!” Even though it didn’t seem fair for either party to be filthy rich, at least with new money, it is well-deserved.

I’ve been trying to comprehend the meaning of grace over the past several weeks, and why we have such difficulty accepting God’s grace in our lives. Then I came to a profound realization while reading What’s So Amazing About Grace, by Philip Yancy. The reason we don’t understand grace is because it goes against what our society deems “fair”.

Think about it. Does it seem fair for one employee to work seven hours and get paid a hundred dollars while another works one hour and gets the same paycheck? No it doesn’t! In fact, it probably irritates us just thinking about this scenerio.

Yet Jesus gave that same example when explaining God’s generosity and grace to His disciples. Grace doesn’t make any sense. We can’t really make it make sense. When we do something wrong, we expect to have to make up for it. Of course God wants us to repent, but He doesn’t require us to do a certain number of good deeds to earn back His affection.

Let’s be honest: none of us deserve God’s grace. I don’t, you don’t, no one does. Yet we all are given this priceless gift simply because God loves us. We can’t do anything to earn God’s love. It’s simply there.

So what now? How can we show that we understand God’s grace in our daily lives?

Well, by extending that grace to others and to ourselves.

And I know that it’s hard. I struggle with it too. It means forgiving someone before they say sorry, letting go of past resentment even when it seems “too late”, having the self-control not to snap when someone pushes your buttons, not criticizing yourself over the littlest (or biggest) mistake.

But when we extend that kind of love through grace, we are finally showing others the true nature of Jesus. Sure, anyone can be kind, because it makes sense to be kind. Sure, anyone can be responsible, because responsibility pays off. Sure, anyone can be loyal, because there are consequences for being unfaithful. But can anyone be grace-filled? No, because grace doesn’t make sense.

Yet it is by grace that we are here. It is by grace that we are still breathing. It is by grace that we are saved and loved and chosen by Jesus.

And when you finally allow yourself to soak in the meaning behind those words and the verses that pour out Jesus’ love for us, you will begin to see your life change.

He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.
2 Timothy 1:9

Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given.
John 1:16

When I stumbled,
I stumbled
not backward
but forward.
So that when I fell,
I fell into grace.
Morgan Harper Nichols

The “Unforgivable” Sin

We all have that one mistake that we doubt God can forgive. But through sharing a piece of my story, I hope I can encourage you and remind you that God will forgive anything you’ve done.
Trigger Warning: Suicide

We all have that one sin, that one mistake. The one that “doesn’t qualify” when Jesus says our sins are forgiven. Sometimes we hide it, ashamed. Other times we talk about it a lot, seeking validation from others. Yes, it is bad enough to still feel burdened by.

But when I tell you that your sins are forgiven by Jesus, I mean it with my whole heart. Even that one sin. Even that one mistake. Even if you never got the chance to say “I’m sorry”. Even if you think it’s too late.

Take this from a person who has spent the last two and a half years trying to forgive herself for the biggest mistake she’s ever made in her life.

When people look at me and my life, they might laugh at the idea of me committing an “unforgivable” sin. They might think, “Oh, she’s probably gossiped or lied or put something before God, nothing that serious.”

To be honest, it’s almost harder to be seen that way than as someone who is notorious for doing the “big bad sins”. (But, by the way, all sins come down to the same cost, Jesus’ death on the cross, making no sin “worse” or “better” than another). When you have the reputation as the “good Christian”, people are less inclined to believe you’ve suffered pain or separation from God.

It’s hard to admit and talk about what happened. I worry people won’t see it as a “big enough” deal. I wonder if they will see me differently. I don’t even know what sort of reaction I want from people.

But I’ve come to realize that everything happens in our lives to teach us something, perhaps lessons we are supposed to share with others. More importantly, they should bring us closer to God. And, though it’s taken time, this one certainly did. If my story helps someone else on their healing process, then it’s worth being vulnerable.

It was January. I met him three months before– the guy who changed my life. When we first met, I thought he was nice, perhaps overly friendly, but the longer I knew him, the more my discomfort grew. To say I knew him would be an overstatement. The truth is, I really only had a few interactions with him. I was scared of him, I think, and of what I believed his intentions were. Each interaction sent me into a spiral of hateful thoughts. They stemmed from a place of fear and insecurity. I should’ve said something, but I didn’t. Instead, I dreaded seeing him and allowed my feelings to consume me.

When I say hateful, I truly mean hateful. They were unlike anything I had ever felt before or since. These feelings burned inside my chest. I could barely look at him; I could only glare. I remember walking by myself and thinking, I wish he were dead.

The last time I saw him was around Christmas. We were in a packed gym, and he was playing spike ball with some friends. By this point, I had made it clear I wasn’t interested. The ball rolled over to me, and he came to get it. He started saying thank you, like he expected me to pick it up. Instead, I moved to the side and avoided looking at him. Yet he thanked me again, and we made eye contact. Then he turned away, and I never saw him again.

January 22nd, 2019. I found out in an email that he died by suicide.

I can’t even begin to describe the weight of guilt I felt. For a week, there was a pressing sensation on my shoulders and I had a constant headache. I didn’t cry because I didn’t know what I was grieving. After all, I barely knew him.

I learned more about him after he died than while he was alive. He was so different than the person I made him out to be in my head. In many ways, that made it all the worse.

It just so happened that a retreat was scheduled the following weekend. Throughout the retreat, I felt isolated, closed off from everyone else. No one reached out to me, perhaps because no one knew I was hurting. I took walks on my own and sobbed, crying out to God and asking Him why such a horrible person–me–could still be walking the earth. What good was I?

At the same time, I had lost several friends and felt incredibly alone. I wondered if this was some sort of punishment from God. Maybe this is why I’m alone, I thought, because I’m a terrible person.

On the last night, my youth pastor gathered us in a circle to pray for each other. Many shed tears as they relayed their current situations. Some recently lost grandparents, another’s father was dying of cancer, and several were dealing with anxiety.

My issues, loneliness and guilt, couldn’t compare to their problems. Why would God want to listen or help the girl who wished death upon His precious child? Or so I thought.

When it came to my turn, I could barely squeeze out my words. I finally whispered, “I just feel so lonely.”

To my surprise, several peers came around me and prayed. One prayer, which I’ll never forget, went something like this:

“Dear God, help Hannah see that she’s never alone and that no one is better or worse than her, but that we’re all equal.”

It was a very simple prayer, yet the weight on my shoulders was lifted. I felt lighter, more alive.

To say that solved all my problems or that it even caused me to believe that I was forgiven would be a lie. It has taken years to understand that God has forgiven me and that He can use me and that situation to help others. But it showed me that God cared, and continues to care and love us, even when we’re at our worst. When we feel unforgivable.

I don’t know what sort of “unforgivable sin” is burdening your heart. But I believe that God has already forgiven you and doesn’t want you to be bogged down by the past, but rather look forward with joy to what He has in store for you. It’s also okay if the healing process is taking longer than you thought or what others claim it should be. But you are healing, I can promise you that.

I also want you to know that if you feel unseen or unloved, I’m so sorry. But you are not unseen or unloved. You are treasured, adored, by the most powerful Being in the universe–Jesus. He loves you. He sacrificed everything for you. He wants you to know that you are so special and so needed and so, so dearly loved.

And if no one’s said this to you today, I love you. ❤️

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Colossians 3:13

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.
Ephesians 1:7

A wonderful song about God loving us at our worst, titled appropriately enough, Even at My Worst, by Blanca: https://youtu.be/qiD-UzbH5VA

What Counts as a Sin, Anyway?

Do you often worry about pleasing God with your actions? Here is some advice and encouragement.

In a world where truth is often undermined, it’s difficult to find answers to society’s toughest questions, especially the ones from within the church. There’s so much debate over whether or not certain actions or attitudes are actually “sins” or should be accepted.

Before I delve into my thoughts on the subject, I want to remind us (including myself) that God is the ultimate and only Judge. What makes Him a good judge is that He cannot sin. He is perfect.

We, on the other hand, are in need of His grace daily. It’s easy to be distracted by the speck in another’s eye when we have a log in our own. If we don’t struggle with lying, then we will have an easier time looking down on liars. If we don’t struggle with gossip, then we feel the liberty to guilt those who do. But God doesn’t see us as liars, thieves, gossips, or even sinners. He sees us as who we can be, and are–His precious children.

That doesn’t mean we can do whatever we want, though. Because of His great love for us, Jesus came as an atonement for our sins. If we never sinned, He never would’ve had to come. And if you think about all the evil and pain in the world, you’ll be uncomfortably reminded that sin is very prevalent in our world.

All sins are weighted the same. No sin is worse than another, and no sin is better than another. They all require the same price–death. But when asking myself whether or not an action or idea is a sin, I think of sin in two categories:

Very Obvious
The “Grey Area”

I’m sure we could list out the very obvious sins, such as murder, adultery, idol worship…so I’m not going to focus on that part. You can find all those things spelled out in the Bible, especially in the Ten Commandments.

The “Grey Area”, though, is tricky. A lot of things can fall into the grey area, and sometimes the Bible doesn’t give word-for-word definitions of these actions. That doesn’t mean we should continue doing these things, though, which is why I’m sharing the three things that help me decide whether or not something is a sin.

It Comes Between Us and God

This is the biggest factor for me. Whenever something comes between us and God, it is an idol. Idols aren’t just little wooden statues that we bow down to every day. They often take the form of our ambitions, careers, and even loved ones.

Now, that doesn’t mean those things are bad. God wants us to love others, have dreams, and do honest work. But we always have to put God first.

Some questions to ask yourself if you think you’re putting something before God are:

Am I spending more time thinking about this than God?
Would I deny my faith to get this thing?
Is this taking away my time with God?
Does this thing make me more reliant on myself than God?
Am I trusting this more than I’m trusting God?

Now, I totally get that you have to put food on the table, which means spending more time in the office than at church. But think about whether or not this activity or person is interfering with your relationship with God. Has God felt more distant since it came into your life?

It Hurts Others

One of Jesus’ most important commands was to love our neighbors as ourselves. Jesus clearly demonstrated that over and over again by sacrificing His time, status, and ultimately His life for others. It hurts God when we get hurt because He loves us so much. So I’m sure you can understand that when you do something to hurt others, God isn’t thrilled. In fact, it breaks His heart.

Now, as I shared in my post about boundaries, we aren’t supposed to be doormats for others. However, when given the opportunity, we should do whatever we can to show God’s love to people.

Here are a few things to stay away from when you are trying to not to hurt people:

Gossip

Let’s be honest, we’ve all done it, we may or may not have had to suffer the consequences of it. But gossip truly does destroy relationships and causes deep wounds within others. If you are conscious about what you’re saying, you’ll find yourself gossiping less and less.

2. Lying

Honesty shows others that you respect them, but also that you respect yourself. You are not ashamed for who you are and what you believe. Even if you have to say something that others don’t want to hear, in the long run, they will be glad that you didn’t keep anything from them.

3. Brashness

I’m disappointed by the negative connotation the adjective “sensitive” has taken. I believe that sensitivity is actually a strength. It means taking the time to think about what you will say, especially on a touchy subject, before speaking. Sensitivity can mend wounds instead of digging them in deeper.

You Have a Certain Feeling About It

When we spend time in the Bible, with wise mentors, and in prayer, we are able to sense the Holy Spirit and where it’s leading us. Paul actually shares in his letters of when the Holy Spirit told him not to go to certain places and where he should go next.

It’s actually incredible how part of the Holy Trinity is inside us. We shouldn’t take this gift for granted.

Much like a conscience, the Holy Spirit often gives us a sense of right and wrong. It’s not always good to rely solely on our feelings, but when we have an instinctive feeling about something or someone, it is often the Holy Spirit.

Once you get that feeling, go back to the Bible and what you know about God. Does it go against God’s character? Have others been pulled away from God by this activity or situation?

God gives us wisdom generously when we ask for it. So if you are ever confused, simply ask, and listen.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:23-24

Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save,
or his ear dull, that it cannot hear;
but your iniquities have made a separation
between you and your God.
Isaiah 59: 1-2

Caught Up in the Moment

If you are experiencing frustration with how your life is taking a different course than you imagined, then this article is for you.

It’s easy to look back and laugh at our old dreams. Sometimes “old” refers to childhood or even just a few weeks ago. But when we’re in the heat of the moment, it’s nearly impossible to understand how God’s plan can differ from our own.

You know how they say taking a day off can clear the mind? Well, now I believe that.

In many ways, 2020-2021 has been our time of getting “away from normal life”. I mean, come on, “normal” hasn’t been allowed for a year and is just getting reintroduced now!

From most of the people I’ve talked to, this past year has actually brought them closer to God because they have more time to spend with Him. I’d also bet it’s because we’re forced to trust Him now that our plans have been thrown up in the air.

At first, 2020-2021 was a time for much needed space. I distanced myself from certain people, I took new opportunities when they came up, and I grew closer to God.

But then the “unusual year” started feeling like a new normal. Over the last few months, I’ve been caught up in my new desires…and fears. I’ve created a new plan, adapted by my new life, and I’ve begun to prioritize those things over the truths God has shown me throughout my life.

Over the weekend, I took my first day off from work to spend time with relatives who were visiting. While I wouldn’t say the weekend was restful, it gave me perspective.

Even when distanced from my situation for a few days, the things that I clung so tightly to no longer seemed significant. Sure, they still mattered, but they no longer needed to be thought about during every spare moment.

Of course, there’s never a season of life, even when that season consists of a few days, where you have no desires. Sure enough, my imagination ran wild with new possibilities and desires for my future. But this time, as I experience both excitement and disappointment, I’m remembering this truth that God continues to bring to mind:

Our feelings are fleeting. They matter, they exist, they are normal. But they should not control our lives. That’s why God is in control. He has a perfect plan, and if things don’t happen the way I want them to, I have to remember that while my priorities will change, His never will.

Think about that one thing that you wish you could change. That person’s response, that missed opportunity, that mistake.

I know it’s hard…painful even. But what if that had to happen so that you’ll experience something greater?

God knows more than what we do. He knows what people say about us when we aren’t around. He knows how that person would’ve treated us had He kept them in our lives. He knows what are gifts are and how we can use them most effectively. God knows.

It’s easy to forget who God is. God created us, for goodness sake! He understands us far more deeply than any person can. He remembers us and puts our needs in top priority. Most people can’t even remember to ask how we’re doing, but God goes to great lengths–the greatest lengths!–to get in touch with us.

God loves you so much. I know you’ve heard it before, but let the words sink in this time. Love means putting the other person first. God does not benefit from your suffering. He does not cause your suffering. He just allows what needs to happen take place in order to help us grow. Our life down here is so short. Then we will spend eternity with Him forever!

So today, instead of being caught up in the moment, take some space away from the things burdening your heart. Ask God for perspective on your situation and clarity for what He wants you to do with your life.

Always remember: You have the ability to make a difference in people’s lives.

For the Lord searches all hearts, and understands every intent of the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will let you find Him; but if you forsake Him, He will reject you forever.
1 Chronicles 28:9

Lord, all my desire is before You;
And my sighing is not hidden from You.
Psalm 38:9

Every man’s way is right in his own eyes,
But the Lord weighs the hearts.
Proverbs 21:2

Why Do You Believe?

Have you ever asked yourself why you believe what you believe?

The most important question to ask is “Why?”. We should ask ourselves why are we doing what we’re doing. We should ask others why they believe what they believe so that we can better understand them. We should even ask God why, because then we open our minds to understanding His greater purpose for everything.

I asked my Bible study one of the hardest, yet most important, questions we can ask ourselves as followers of Christ: Why do you believe in Jesus? I limited them to only a few sentences, since we all had shared our testimonies before, and because if an unbeliever asks us this, they likely don’t want to hear an entire essay response.

My answer was this:

I believe in Jesus because I have experienced His love and grace firsthand. He has brought me through the toughest seasons of my life by giving me a feeling of peace that couldn’t have come from anyone else. He gives my life a purpose, the purpose everyone longs for until they find Him.

What I loved most about this exercise was the diversity in responses. Some spoke of Jesus’ forgiveness and grace. Others focused on His love and kindness. Many cited times of when Jesus did something in their lives that changed their perspectives.

There’s this false idea that we all have to come to faith the same way. We must have a “mountain top experience” and never have doubts afterwards. We must be faithful church-goers, have all the answers, and have an unwavering trust in God.

But that isn’t true. While it’s wonderful for those of us who’ve had mountain-top experiences, it isn’t required for being a true believer. It’s normal, and even healthy, to have doubts. We just need to bring our questions to God. It’s good to go to church, to understand the Bible, and to trust God, yet our faith journey is like a rollercoaster sometimes, especially at the beginning. Just because you are struggling to trust God or find the right community for a season doesn’t mean you aren’t saved. What’s important is that you’re seeking God with all your heart.

Today, ask yourself the tough question: Why do you believe in Jesus? Write down whatever comes to mind. This will not only prepare you for answering that question in the future, but it will solidify your faith. Those doubts often come from not knowing why or what we believe in. Often, finding these answers and reminding yourself of how God has taken care of you will give you peace.

Once you allow God’s peace to fill your heart, you’ll feel free to let go.

Now devote your heart and soul to seeking the LORD your God.
1 Chronicles 22:19

God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.
Acts 17:27

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:13

The Gift of Grace

What makes grace so profound?

I’ve been trying to wrap my head around the idea of grace ever since reading a Philip Yancy book on the topic. He said that grace is the one defining characteristic of a follower of Christ. Unbelievers can be kind, selfless, and loving. However, only those who truly understand the grace God gives us each day, by even allowing us to take a single breath of air, can also extend that grace.

I know so many Christians who are doing incredibly unchristian things. I’m not talking about the “hot topic” sins. I’m talking about saying hurtful things, joining in with the rest of the world in condemning others, and participating in this mass spread of unkindness. They say that we have to hold people accountable for their actions, which is true, but we need to do it in the right way. There needs to be room for grace. There needs to be room for understanding, because so often we are too quick to judge. We assume everyone who’s different from us has evil motivations. We don’t like to admit it, but it’s true.

The thing about grace is that it doesn’t make sense. I’ll be bold enough to say that it isn’t supposed to make sense, at least on this side of Heaven. Grace isn’t naïve or dismissive. Grace is acknowledging the wrong, the hurt, but still showing compassion and love. Grace isn’t injustice, but rather transformative forgiveness that leads to deeper healing.

Here’s the tough thing about grace: it goes against our human nature. It goes against what the world tells us. Grace is loving your enemy, whether your enemy takes the form of your annoying next door neighbor, a hurtful relative, or a person with an opposing political view. Grace isn’t agreeing with their actions or misbeliefs; grace is seeing the person inside them. We need to show ourselves grace too, whether that’s when we look in the mirror, receive a critical remark, or make the same mistake again.

Grace takes humility. In order to show grace, we can’t have an attitude of self-righteousness. We have to admit that we’re wrong sometimes too. We have to realize that we have also been shown grace, the greatest grace that has existed, the grace of God. We are only here because of His grace.

Every time I’m tempted to post something that I know might offend or hurt someone’s feelings, I think about my purpose. God didn’t put me here to crack a joke at someone else’s expense. God didn’t put me here to mock others. God didn’t put me here to be the opposite of Jesus. Jesus embodies grace, compassion, and faithfulness. As followers of Christ, our purpose and mission should be embodying everything Jesus embodied.

But the best part about grace is that it lets go of the past. Jesus always sees you as His perfect creation. He doesn’t see all the messy things that we like to point out in others or even in ourselves. And if Jesus can love us perfectly like that, Him being the most powerful being ever, then can’t we extend just a fraction of that grace to others?

For by grace are you saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God.
Ephesians 2:8

And the grace of our Lord was more than abundant, with the faith and love which are found in Christ Jesus.
1 Timothy 1:14

Inner Beauty is Most Valuable

Do you struggle with feeling good about your appearance? Here’s some encouragement.

I’ve seen a lot of posts recently about people sharing vulnerably their stories that deal with lack of self-esteem related to their bodies. I think many of us, some more severely than others, have struggled to see ourselves as worthy, especially in relation to our appearance. With all our culture’s standards, it can be difficult to remember how valuable we are. There are so many verses about not focusing on the outward appearance, such as (and not limited to):

The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. A man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7

Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror.
James 1:23

Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.
Matthew 7:20

These verses can serve as both a comfort and a warning. You might ask, “But Hannah, I don’t particularly like my appearance. I’m not going into the modeling business or some career that mostly focuses on outward beauty. I’m not like that person over there who clearly works hard at their appearance.”

First of all, we have no idea how much a person cares about what they look like. They might be just as insecure as one of us and we shouldn’t judge based on how beautiful we perceive them to be.

And second, we can be just as guilty of focusing too much on our outward appearance when we criticize ourselves as someone who thinks they are overly gorgeous and makes sure everyone knows it. (And that person, by the way, is probably doing that to seek validation, so they probably aren’t even as secure as you may think)

It’s so important to take care of ourselves and to love who we are because God made us that way. But it’s also important to just not focus too much on what we look like. When we place working or stressing over our appearance above who we are as a person and what we’re doing for God’s kingdom, then we miss out on what God has planned for us. We lose sight of what’s truly important in our lives.

And in the end, our bodies will fade away. All that’s left will be our souls. So why don’t we take the time to work on what will last forever instead of the temporary, especially if our bodies cause us grief?

Instead of asking yourself, what food should I eat to make my body attractive or why don’t I look as beautiful as that person over there, ask yourself these questions:

Am I living in a way that honors God?
Do the people around me feel loved?
Am I doing things that I feel passionate about?
Am I taking time to rest?
What am I doing to serve others?

That’s not to say don’t take care of yourself. It just means that once you start focusing on living out God’s will, then your body will not be the center of your life anymore. People will start noticing you for your amazing character traits instead of your looks.

But these verses are also meant to be a comfort. God sees us in a way no one else can. We (and others) see ourselves through a broken mirror, broken by sin, broken by society’s expectations, broken by lies. We are broken until we allow God to heal us, to make us who we are meant to be.

You are loved and worthy and beautiful no matter what you look like. Never forget that.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13

How to Have the Right Kind of Confidence

Have you ever felt confident about something, but then started doubting yourself? Here is how God can help us always be confident despite our imperfections.

I’m half Chinese, and so I’ve grown up using chopsticks at every meal. It’s become a skill I’m rather proud of, actually, and I’ve had the most hilarious time trying to teach some of my friends how to use them. Once when I was in youth group, we were playing a game that involved picking up tiny beads with chopsticks. I was excited since I’m not one known for being good at games, and I boldly declared, “I use chopsticks every day, so this won’t be too hard.” The other people on my team cheered me and commented on how glad they were that I was on their team. When it was my turn, something inside me seemed to turn off, and my chopsticks couldn’t seem to get the right grasp on that little bead. One rather annoying leader started laughing at me and denying my claims of having good chopstick skills, and at the time I was pretty embarrassed. I managed to get the bead the next time around, but a part of me felt completely defeated.

Photo by bongkarn thanyakij on Pexels.com

That’s a pretty insignificant example, and looking back I shouldn’t have taken it so hard. But I thought this story would help demonstrate my point about confidence today.

Whether or not you are a super confident person (normally I’m not, unless apparently I have a pair of chopsticks in hand), we all have times where we know we are good at something, but when we go up to demonstrate it, we fumble. We forget. We can’t seem to perform the way we know we can.

That’s why I have a little issue with the term self-confidence. When we have extreme faith in our abilities, we end up feeling so much worse about ourselves when we have an off-day. We are suddenly full of doubt, even though we are human, and therefore bound to make mistakes.

I want you to have faith and believe in yourself. But I don’t want you to have complete reliance on that.

The reason is that because we are imperfect, we will never get something right 100% of the time. We can’t fully trust ourselves because of that.

But there is someone that we can have complete reliance on, and that’s Jesus. Jesus is perfect and never makes a single mistake. When we have confidence in Him, we don’t have to worry about not proving ourselves to others. Jesus doesn’t require us to please others– He only wants us to please Him.

The best part of having confidence in Jesus is that He can help us do things that we’ve never done before. We often have the most confidence in ourselves when we’ve practiced an activity numerous times or rehearsed a speech so much that the words are on the tip of our tongue. When we trust Jesus fully with everything we do, we don’t have to doubt ourselves when we make a mistake, because by Jesus’ perfect grace, we are still loved anyway.

So today, think of something that you were previously afraid of doing, but feel like God is telling you to do. Then, after praying, go out and do it. You don’t have to wait to have peace after it’s over. You can have peace now because no matter what the results are, Jesus has equipped you for them, and His peace can overflow in your heart.

Now faith is the assurance of what we hope for and the certainty of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

Enduring Pain

If you feel stuck, trying to figure out if there is any good that can come from your pain, keep reading.

A random skill that most people wouldn’t know I have is being a pretty good back massager. You heard me right…and you’re probably wondering why you’re still reading!

Well, I’ll get to the point…soon. You know how we Nines love our stories 😉

My mom used to tell people that she had a daughter simply to get free back massages, and a small part of me occasionally wonders if that’s true considering the frequency at which she requests them. As humans age, as you may know from experience, they often experience muscle stiffness. Tonight I was helping my mom get a knot out of her back, and after the allotted time I had agreed to perform this service was up, I asked if she wanted me to continue. She laughed and replied, “I would like that, but I don’t think I can endure the pain.”

This part may not surprise you, if you know me at all. After she said that, I suddenly knew I had to blog. Not about muscles, weird skills, or getting old. But rather, about pain.

About a year ago, one of my first posts was about pain and how many people often use numbing mechanisms to avoid it. Little did I know that throughout this past year, I’ve struggled with dealing with my pain and negative emotions. I often choose to not feel things, but then that includes the positive, happy memories as well.

I think avoiding pain can be one of our biggest mistakes in life. The longer we avoid the pain, the longer we avoid the good that can come out of that pain. God does not take us through difficult seasons without a reason. He knows that there’s something better at the end, but we just have to persevere. And sometimes that means trying something again that may have previously hurt us.

Now, I’m not telling you to go and let people walk all over you. I don’t want you to get into a dangerous situation or go backwards on a process towards good health. But if God is calling you to try something again, whether it’s a relationship, a career, a hobby, or perhaps even just diving back in your Bible, then you should go for it.

We love making excuses as to why we can’t possibly embrace our pain. We tell ourselves that we can’t endure it. And we’re right, we can’t.

At least, we can’t alone.

But God is always with us and He will give us the strength to get through anything.

I’ve seen so many people go through things I could never imagine going through with such bravery. They continue to live for God, they continue to go about their daily lives, and they will still be heroes, such strong people, in my eyes when they admit their pain and sorrow.

Don’t allow fear of people’s reactions to affect how you grieve, whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or a forgotten dream. The ones who are meant to be in your life and really care about you will give you the space to feel what you need to feel.

I know it’s hard trying again. I know it’s hard doing what God calls us to do. I’m not going to sit here and expect you to suddenly change your life or do things that risk heartbreak alone. I’m going to try to get out of my comfort zone and figure out my emotions as well, in a healthy way.

I know that we can both get through whatever life throws at us because we are empowered by our Creator. God loves us and designed us to need Him, and when we turn to Him, we will overflow with His grace, courage, and perseverance.

I’ll be praying for you. Don’t give up. ❤

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:2