God – Page 28 – The Will to Wake Up

Life Hack #3: Honestly…

Sharing one of the best pieces of relationship/friendship advice I’ve ever received.

Growing up, how many times did you hear, “Honesty is the best policy”? Perhaps it was during the plagiarism speech at the beginning of every school year. Or maybe it was in a conversation with your parents after losing a friend over a “little white lie”. But have you applied it to your life as an adult?

Random thought: I almost wonder if I should change this series’ name to “Debunking cliché advice”. Hmm…

Anyway, I’ve given this idea of honesty a lot of thought. I’ve been trying to figure out why it’s hard. I’ve come up with three ideas:

We assume honesty means brashness

When someone tells you, “Just be honest with them”, you might picture yourself walking up to a person and crushing their dreams. Or maybe you think honesty means never using tact when talking about a controversial issue.

Well…how should I put this? No! That’s how our society has gotten honesty wrong, especially in light of all the recent tension and civil unrest.

It’s important to be true to your beliefs, especially when standing up for others or for your faith. But it’s also important to realize that people don’t come to their ideas overnight. It has taken years of experiences, pain, and advice from a variety of sources to get them where they are today. So when sharing your views, realize that part of honest means honestly listening to the other side and appreciating them as human beings, even if you don’t agree with them. And you certainly don’t have to agree with them.

Here’s the thing: People will want to listen to you more if you speak the truth in love. People will feel less attacked and more appreciative of where you’re coming from.

2. Honesty takes humility

Ah, humility. This idea revisits us once again, as it seems to do in my own life on a regular basis. We try to run, but we can’t hide from it. Being humble is one of the core attributes of a follower of Christ.

How does honesty take humility, though?

Well, being honest can mean “taking one for the team”. It might mean being the first person to admit you’re nervous about something. Or it could look like sharing your faith even when it isn’t the popular thing to do. Honesty means we’ll have to admit that we aren’t always right, that maybe the thing we were fighting for isn’t the best after all.

And that’s hard. That’s really hard. But if we aren’t honest about those things, we’ll miss out on growing as individuals and in relationships.

3. Honesty means sacrifice

In the movies, when someone makes a startling revelation and reveals the truth, they are often greeting with celebration or victory. But in real life, people may not respond to our honesty in the way we’d like them to. Perhaps it’s a confession of our true feelings, and the other person doesn’t feel the same way. Maybe it’s sharing a controversial viewpoint that sends an old friend away. Whatever it is, if it matters to you, it needs to be shared. Unfortunately, that does often mean losing people. But the true friends, the ones who really care, will be there with you when you show your true self.

Why is honesty so important, anyway?

If being honest takes so much work, why is it so important in life?

Think about it, how has another person’s honesty changed your life? Maybe it was a current significant other making the first move towards building a relationship with you. Perhaps it was a parent admitting their faults and healing some childhood wounds.

Here are a few ways honesty has impacted my life, and as I share, continue to think about your stories too.

Honesty has made me feel more comfortable

A few nights ago, I went to my first social gathering after COVID. I was pretty nervous about seeing a ton of people I hadn’t seen in over a year. Perhaps you’ve also experienced this.

When I first got into the venue, a girl I hadn’t talked to in over two years came up and started chatting with me. I greatly appreciated her efforts, and even more so after what she said next.

“You know,” she said. “I might have seemed forward for coming over here like this, but I really don’t know anyone anymore and I wanted someone to talk to.”

In that moment, that’s what I needed to hear. I wasn’t alone in my nervousness. A gesture she might’ve found awkward or uncomfortable was actually what made me feel comfortable. Her honesty inspired me to reach out to others and be willing to be true to myself.

Honesty significantly impacts the success of romantic relationships

I have a friend who desperately wanted to be in a romantic relationship with someone and she asked for my advice. Though I’ve observed others’ relationships, I didn’t have much personal experience to go off of, so I spoke with a friend who doesn’t know her, so he’d have an unbiased point of view.

I shared with him how my friend has lied about who she likes to her crush and how their relationship has been based off guessing the other person’s feelings and lack of communication.

He replied, “From my experience, particularly my last relationship that didn’t work out, I’d say honesty is the most important thing in relationships. It might already be too late for them.”

And true to his word, once my friend was honest with her crush, she didn’t necessarily receive the response she had been hoping for, but she finally knew the truth. The truth can be hard to swallow, but important for moving forward.

This was also a good reminder to me to start relationships off with honesty rather than trickling it in as time goes on.

Honesty can heal old wounds

As I shared earlier in why some people avoid being honest, there’s this false idea that honesty only hurts people. But the truth is, honesty can be the medicine to a relationship.

I’m currently in a season of transition. Many of my friends are also moving on or moving away, or both. They seem to tie together often.

Anyway, while in a conversation with an old friend who had hurt me in the past, I gingerly brought up how our friendship had ended. I didn’t do in an accusatory way, but in a way that revealed how I had truly felt about the situation. It helped that it happened years ago, so I had time to process and no longer be mad about it.

This brought so much healing and closure to me, and I’m sure to her as well. We were finally able to realize how far we’d come and how we’ve changed as individuals. Honesty takes maturity, I’ll give you that much. That’s why it’s hard. But it’s the only way to find true closure when letting go of the past.

Does God want us to be honest?

Well, I think you can answer that one yourself. But yes, of course He does.

Jesus never sugarcoated things. He was direct, yet also the definition of love. As followers of Jesus, we should strive to do the same thing.

There’s a Proverb that goes, “Wounds from a friend are better than kisses from an enemy”. Are you upset by a person’s honesty right now? Are you doubting yourself for being honest with a loved one?

In the long run, being honest is the only way you’ll truly get places. Today, think about whether your relationships are based on honesty. I guarantee that the ones that are will last far longer than the ones that are not.

Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.
Proverbs 10:9

And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
John 8:32

There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching.
Proverbs 6:16-20

God’s Promise of an Answer

You have probably heard the verse about God’s plans for you many times. But have you ever wondered how to find out those plans?

As a recent graduate, I’ve seen the verse Jeremiah 29:11 everywhere! I’ve even shared it on the blog several times. To refresh your memory, this is what it says,

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

This verse is meant to encourage everyone, especially people who are in a new stage of life. It gives us hope, maybe even clarity, as we are promised that God will reveal His plans to us.

We carry this verse all the way to college or a new career or wherever the next season of life takes us. But then disaster strikes–we don’t really know what we’re doing. We struggle to fit in, we don’t get the new opportunity we’re hoping for, we feel alone. Where did the God from graduation go?

We have a daily verse calendar and when this verse was the verse of the day, I tore it off the calendar to save in my scrapbook. When I was rereading it the other day, I noticed the continuation of the verse,

Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴I will be found by you.”
(verses 12-14)

Now you might be asking me, “So wait, we don’t just get our plans given to us freely with our diplomas?”

Well…sometimes God works that way, speaking with complete clarity. But a lot of the time, trials happen in our life not to turn us away from God, but to cause us to go to Him. When we see an obstacle in our path, we get too focused on how its preventing us from achieving our goals rather than how it could be bringing us closer to God. But the most important thing in life is to have a loving relationship with God. It doesn’t mean we don’t have doubts, but it does mean we cling to Him through our struggles and grow.

God’s promise in Jeremiah is still powerful. In fact, it’s even greater than just verse 11 or just knowing what’s next. It’s the promise of finding Jesus. It’s the promise of an answer to our calls, whether they are shouts of joy or cries in the middle of the night.

How often do your feelings get hurt by not being recognized by the people you thought or hoped cared about you? Perhaps they don’t answer your calls, whether literally over the phone or silent calls for help. People don’t always (or often) show up for us in the way we wished.

But God promises to always show up. He never takes a day off from loving us and being there for us.

Today, let that really sink in. Call out to Jesus if you are confused about your purpose. Ask Him those hard questions. Explain to Him why you feel the way you do. You may not always experience what you hope for in life, but I guarantee that your life will begin to find meaning once you go to the One who gives it meaning.

But from there you will seek the Lord your God, and you will find Him if you search for Him with all your heart and all your soul.
Deuteronomy 4:29

Morning Thoughts

Sharing a new podcast episode with you all! I hope it encourages you and causes you to reflect on your purpose.

Good morning! I am excited to share another episode of The Will to Wake Up podcast! Enjoy my morning ramblings and let me know how you’re doing!

Link: https://anchor.fm/hannah-chung4/episodes/Morning-Thoughts-e12lb8e

For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.
Colossians 1:16

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11

Changing the Way We Speak to Ourselves

Are you tired of the cliche advice about improving your mental health? Here is the best advice I have when it comes to our conversations with ourselves.

On this Encouragement Thursday, I’ll be taking a break from my “Life Hacks” series to talk about something I find incredibly vital when seeking a fulfilling, joyful life.

There are so many theories on how to have the “best happiness” or really how to have the “best mental” health. A lot of times this advice comes in the form of annoying cliche expressions, such as:

“With every storm comes a rainbow.”

“Just stay positive!”

“You got this!”

“If you actually try your best, then success will follow.”

I could keep going, but you get the idea, and in fact, you could probably create a list like this yourself. Sometimes, when life is going amazingly spectacular, we agree with this advice. We might even give it out. But then, when the storm really hits, and all our mind can think to do is criticize, these words hurt. They sting. Then they carry with us to the next storm, and the next, until the storms feel never ending.

What’s truly the secret to having better mental health?

Well, the truth is there’s no clear cut way for each person. We’re all different. But to me, the best way of improving mental health is cultivating encouraging conversations in our minds. Changing the way we speak to ourselves and about ourselves, especially in certain conversations.

Talking about our trauma

By the time someone reaches the end of their life, they’re bound to have experienced at least one traumatic event. This often comes in the form of death, illness, or violent experiences. But sometimes trauma can be an ongoing pain or experience. Trauma takes many forms, it’s not something that can be boxed in. While an event might not be a big deal for one person, it might be truly traumatic for another. Yet our society doesn’t seem to understand that trauma comes in many forms. That has caused us to undermine our traumatic experiences.

Here are some key things to think about when discussing or thinking about the effects of your traumatic event(s):

Stop apologizing or feeling bad about your limitations

When I got into a serious car accident, I didn’t want to admit how much it had affected me and my mental health. I struggled with asking for help, and when I did, I felt guilty about it for years afterwards. It has taken me until now, two years later, to realize I am worthy of the help I received. I am also not any weaker for asking for help.

Do you often apologize when asking for help? That stems from lacking self-worth. Yet Jesus calls us His precious children, worth dying on the cross for. When we find our worth in Jesus, we will begin to realize we are worth it. Jesus is the source of our strength; therefore, we will never be “weak”.

Rephrase the way you view your shift in capabilities

For months after my car accident, I would hide my fear of driving by saying I was “bad at it”. That got ingrained in my head and only further heightened my anxiety. Instead of saying I was bad at it, I should’ve said “I’m not a confident driver”. That shows that I may not be there yet, but I can be someday.

When you think about yourself, don’t put your capabilities into a tiny box. You have so much potential. Instead of saying “I can’t do this”, say “I can’t do this yet“. Instead of saying “I don’t know how”, say “I don’t know how right now, but I hope I will someday”.

Leave room in your life for possibilities.

Is everybody watching?

Whether you’re shy, self-conscious, or have social anxiety, I’m sure you can relate to the feeling of everybody watching you when you enter the room. Perhaps we get this idea from the countless movies that depict the scene where the protagonist enters the school dance and all eyes turn to her. Or maybe the media has done it by providing new articles on scandals and intimate details of celebrities’ lives.

Well, I’m here to tell you something. No, everybody is not watching. And if someone happens to be, they will likely not remember what you’re wearing, whether you have a smudge of sauce on your face, or if you’re frowning. The only way you’ll make a grand entrance is if you’re carrying a giant stuffed money or an inflatable scarlet parrot 🙂 *spoken from others’ experience*

But think about it, do you remember what so-and-so was wearing, even if they were “popular”? Probably not. You just remember what you were wearing or maybe what your crush or best friend was. You might not even remember that!

Let’s face it: we’re in a self-obsessed world. While people can go on and on about how that hurts others, I think that hurts us the most. When we focus too much on ourselves, we lose track of the important things, like whether or not we reached out to the lonely person in the corner or if we said “thank you” to the tired hosts. We also begin that negative self-talk, like “everyone must think I’m an idiot for wearing bright orange” or “I don’t have any friends because no one’s talked to me in ten minutes”.

No. Trust me, all they’re thinking about is themselves and how bad they feel.

You know what would be memorable, though? (Besides the inflatable animals?) Being the one who makes someone’s day by complimenting their unique outfit or going across the room to talk to them. Be that person. Be the person who gets out of their head and into the heart of someone else.

What does God have to say about all this?

If you’re a long-time reader of The Will to Wake Up, you know that most of my posts come back to faith. And the truth is, you might be wondering what all this has to do with God. Does God care about what we say to ourselves?

In a word, YES.

You don’t think those +365 times He says “Don’t worry” in the Bible was intentional? Um…okay.

You don’t think “Set your mind on things above” refers to thinking about things that matter rather than things that are temporary? Sure…

You don’t think Jesus emphasizes how He’s the giver of peace because He knows we’ll struggle with retaining mental stability? Well…

The list could go on, and hopefully these few examples are sparking the other instances God reminds us of how important it is to take our thoughts captive. The bottom line is this: When we find our worth in Jesus and remember that He’s the only One who’s watching us, then we don’t have to worry about living up to others’ expectations. We don’t have to live in fear of being worthless anymore.

Your experiences, your pain, and your joy are all valid. People care about you. Jesus cares most of all. Today, instead of thinking bad things about yourself, tell Jesus your concerns and ask Him to give you peace.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.
Isaiah 26:3

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Philippians 4:8

Why Do You Believe?

Have you ever asked yourself why you believe what you believe?

The most important question to ask is “Why?”. We should ask ourselves why are we doing what we’re doing. We should ask others why they believe what they believe so that we can better understand them. We should even ask God why, because then we open our minds to understanding His greater purpose for everything.

I asked my Bible study one of the hardest, yet most important, questions we can ask ourselves as followers of Christ: Why do you believe in Jesus? I limited them to only a few sentences, since we all had shared our testimonies before, and because if an unbeliever asks us this, they likely don’t want to hear an entire essay response.

My answer was this:

I believe in Jesus because I have experienced His love and grace firsthand. He has brought me through the toughest seasons of my life by giving me a feeling of peace that couldn’t have come from anyone else. He gives my life a purpose, the purpose everyone longs for until they find Him.

What I loved most about this exercise was the diversity in responses. Some spoke of Jesus’ forgiveness and grace. Others focused on His love and kindness. Many cited times of when Jesus did something in their lives that changed their perspectives.

There’s this false idea that we all have to come to faith the same way. We must have a “mountain top experience” and never have doubts afterwards. We must be faithful church-goers, have all the answers, and have an unwavering trust in God.

But that isn’t true. While it’s wonderful for those of us who’ve had mountain-top experiences, it isn’t required for being a true believer. It’s normal, and even healthy, to have doubts. We just need to bring our questions to God. It’s good to go to church, to understand the Bible, and to trust God, yet our faith journey is like a rollercoaster sometimes, especially at the beginning. Just because you are struggling to trust God or find the right community for a season doesn’t mean you aren’t saved. What’s important is that you’re seeking God with all your heart.

Today, ask yourself the tough question: Why do you believe in Jesus? Write down whatever comes to mind. This will not only prepare you for answering that question in the future, but it will solidify your faith. Those doubts often come from not knowing why or what we believe in. Often, finding these answers and reminding yourself of how God has taken care of you will give you peace.

Once you allow God’s peace to fill your heart, you’ll feel free to let go.

Now devote your heart and soul to seeking the LORD your God.
1 Chronicles 22:19

God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.
Acts 17:27

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:13

Signs to Keep Going

This is a sign for you: Don’t give up. ❤

Don’t give up. How easy it is to write those words, to say those words. How difficult it is to live by those words.

In the movies, characters often come to that pivotal moment of understanding this truth. They are about to jump, about to say goodbye to their dreams, when all of a sudden, there’s a breakthrough. Perhaps the world finally recognizes their efforts or a love walks in with a reminder of their worth. It’s always this big, dramatic event.

So when we don’t see the results we’re looking for and don’t receive a “breakthrough” moment, how are we supposed to not give up?

For me, it comes in signs from God. I’ll have an inspirational post pop up in my feed, reminding me to keep going. Maybe a friend will call and encourage me. Today, my reminder to not give up came in such a way that I cannot deny God was behind it.

I’d hardly call myself an influencer, though I’d like to be in the future. However, for lack of a better word, influencers often come to a point in their creating journey where they have to ask themselves why they are still sharing content. Is it because of the likes and follows or because they have a passion for what they are sharing? Post insights have a way of distracting us from remembering our reason for creating.

Unfortunately, I fell into this trap this morning while looking at this blog’s insights. But then, I noticed a notification by the comments tab and I clicked on it. Two incredibly encouraging comments were there, ones that had been posted fifteen days ago, yet I had somehow not seen them until today. Simple words of hope that brought a smile to my face and a reason to keep writing. God knew I needed to see them today. God’s little reminder to not give up.

If you’re looking for a sign today, here it is. Don’t give up. I know it’s hard when everything seems to be telling you otherwise. God rewards the patient and perseverance. He’s working through whatever you’re going through, and even if things don’t end up the way you hope, it will end up better. Anything done in love is worthwhile. You are loved, seen, and believed in. Keep going.

But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.
2 Chronicles 15:7

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
Genesis 50:20

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

Saying the “Right” Thing

Have you been turned away from faith by a person’s words? Or worse, have you said the wrong thing and now regret it? Here’s some advice and encouragement!

I was saddened yesterday by a post a peer shared about the reason she despises all religions, specifically Christianity. She explained that her family “forced it” on her growing up and that a pastor’s weak condolence of “it’s all part of God’s plan” at her grandmother’s funeral was the final nail in the coffin in her rejection of God.

What makes me truly disheartened by this story is the truth that we, as believers, often say things like “it’s all part of God’s plan”. We usually say things like this when things are going well for us, and we want to cheer someone up. Or if we’ve had God reveal this to us through our own experiences. But we have to be careful not to make a few key mistakes when encouraging others in their faith.

What expectations are you holding for unbelievers?

A mentor wisely told me, “We have to be careful to not hold unbelievers to the same expectations we hold believers. After all, they don’t necessary know or care about what the Bible says, so why should we expect them to obey God’s commands?”

This is so true. While we shouldn’t condone sin, we have to realize that until they build a relationship with God, they aren’t going to understand the significance of repentance and God’s forgiveness. Holding them accountable will come in time, but first we must help them realize why they should even desire a relationship with God.

2. Are our words appropriate for the situation?

The pastor’s words to my peer weren’t lies. God does have a plan for everything. However, saying that off-handedly during a funeral may not be the best time. When others experience a significant loss, we shouldn’t force them to move on too quickly. We need to show them God’s comfort and love. Jesus, while on Earth, cried when He saw others suffering. In fact, He holds everyone’s tears in His hands even now. Being present with someone during their time of grief is more meaningful than spewing Bible verses at them. If the Spirit leads you to say something, then say it. But God can work even through our silent moments.

3. Do you have authority over what you are talking about?

My mom once described an old friend as “a person who likes to hear herself talk”. In fact, when making conversation with others, asking them lots of questions is a good start because people enjoy talking about themselves. This can all be fine and good, but when it comes down to witnessing to others, this can often be a shortcoming.

A lot of times we want to share a random tidbit of information we read online, even when we don’t have all the facts. Or we want to answer others’ questions even when we have no authority over the subject. When you are telling someone about Jesus, don’t start creating your own theology or make up answers to their questions. Instead, share personal stories of how Jesus has changed your life.

The best thing to do to be prepared for opportunities to share your faith is reading the Bible. That way you will have authority over what you’re speaking about. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to lead your discussions. God can give you wisdom right when you need it most.

Anyone who loves Jesus and desires to do His will can be a good witness for Him. Just make sure you’re sharing information that you know will actually benefit and encourage others.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.
Romans 8:26

My peer’s grandma died of pancreatic cancer, which was the same disease that killed my church’s pastor. However, throughout my pastor’s journey, He grew closer to God and inspired others to keep holding onto faith.

While writing a condolence card for my pastor’s son, I considered sounding full of faith by saying, “God knows what’s best” and “Everything happens for a reason”. But instead, I wrote, “I honestly don’t know why this has happened to your family. But I do know that God has wonderful plans in store for your future.”

By admitting this, I didn’t deny God’s greater plan or the pain of his loss. But I didn’t pretend like I had all the answers, because I don’t. When we are vulnerable and honest, we are not lacking faith, we are becoming more relatable to those curious about God. Perhaps I could’ve said something different, something better. But I’m going to choose to believe that I said the best that I could because I prayed about each word I wrote. We often don’t say “the perfect thing”, but if we truly believe we did what God called us to, we don’t have to have regrets.

We may never fully understand God’s plan while on Earth. God wants us to fully grieve and appreciate those we have lost. There are two things that give me hope during seasons of grief:

God is right beside us. He knows and understands everything we’re feeling. His love isn’t dependent on how we behave or our circumstances.
Our sense of time is so different from God’s. A lifetime down here may be a blink of an eye up in Heaven. Though it’s hard to move forward after a loss, eventually we will be reunited again, this time for eternity.

Now that’s something to look forward to.

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.
Acts 1:8

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹²Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴I will be found by you,” declares the Lord.
Jeremiah 29:11-14

God Uses Every Version of You

Do you feel embarrassed about the past? Here’s some encouragement!

Do you ever look back and immediately cringe? Usually it’s not just for the outdated trends or gastly hairstyles, but for the person we used to be, so unknowing and just plain embarrassing! But our memory does change over time, and we don’t always see ourselves as the people we truly were at the time. God will use us no matter what stage of life we’re in. Just think about the people who have touched your life. They hadn’t reached “perfection” when they helped you, yet they were impactful.

I was reminded of how God moves through us, even at young ages, while reading an old journal entry last night. Back in 2019, God had given me “instinctual sympathy” for a girl at my barn who I didn’t know very well. In my journal entry from that summer, I wrote that I felt I needed to pray for her because I might be one of the only ones who was. I even off-handedly remarked that perhaps God would use me in her life someday. I had no clear reason why I felt the way I did or how true my words would be.

Fast-forward two years. I started getting to know her better and understanding what was happening in her life. She didn’t have a clear relationship with God, but I could tell she was struggling. God has given me so many opportunities to be there for her in ways I never imagined in 2019. I got chills just reading how God was preparing me to be a friend to her back in the years were I felt “ill-equipped” and “unusable”.

How often do we let age or status or other people’s opinions of us define how much impact God can have on our lives, or even how we’re able to affect others? Has that held you back from reaching out and being there for someone you know needs a friend? What if that mindset is keeping us from being the reason someone smiles or has hope for the future or even starts a relationship with God?

You have the potential to change people’s lives. We were created to positively change lives, to change the world. God is ready to grow you into an extraordinary person. The only thing holding you back is not believing you’re worth it.

Well, guess what. You are so worth it.

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2:20

For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.
Philippians 2:13

How Self-Control Can Change Our Relationships

Do you need to see humanity in a new light? Here’s some encouragement.

While listening to First, by Lauren Daigle, I made the mistake of scrolling through the comments. Sometimes I come across an inspirational story or a timely Bible verse this way. The first comment was made by a young fan who compared Lauren Daigle to a pop singer, saying that Lauren Daigle was the better version because she’s a gospel singer. The way the fan expressed her appreciation for Lauren Daigle was sweet and not demeaning in the least. However, in the responses to this comment, there is a very lengthy disagreement that started out somewhat innocent and ended up being long, hurtful paragraphs against each other. As I got caught up in reading their argument, the song suddenly ended, and I hadn’t really heard any of it. I minimized the comments, replayed the song, and realized I needed to blog about this.

Both of those people missed opportunities to show God’s love to others. One used verses to condemn; another claimed that love was the only thing that mattered, yet nothing else they said was loving. Hypocrisy is a huge turn-off for unbelievers, and for good reason. When we don’t follow through with what we claim to believe, then what’s the incentive for others to want what we have: faith?

When we get obsessed about the little things, the inconveniences of life, we miss out on the beauty of it. More importantly, when we let worldly things get to us, like an insensitive person or even a confused one, we miss out on being good witnesses for Jesus. We lose sight of what’s really important. I am legitimately terrified that Internet arguments are going to be the biggest factor in deterring people from Jesus in this generation. They may already be.

I read an essay the other day talking about how people turn into wild animals when behind the wheel. They spew out language they never would utter under normal circumstances, but when road rage captures them…oh boy…

Screens have the same effect as a windshield. We feel protected, hidden. We don’t even know the people on the other side of the screen, yet we feel free to call them hurtful names and assume they are monsters. But guess what? At the end of the day, we are all still human. We all have those moments of setting down our phone, crying over something a stranger on the Internet said. We are real, and so are they.

Self-control is so underrated these days. We want to have control over other people, but guess what, we don’t. The only one we have control over is ourselves. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, one of the key factors in people knowing we’re living for Jesus.

Self-control isn’t just being patient or understanding. Self-control is refraining from arguing with a stranger on social media. It’s not sharing that insensitive post that made you laugh. It’s taking the time to think before clicking send or responding to others in person. It’s allowing Jesus to take control, really.

If you want to see humanity in a new, better light, then exercise self-control. Listen to others. Put yourself in their shoes. Allow your eyes to be washed clean and restored. When a blind man asked Jesus for healing, instead of snapping His fingers and saying, “You can see now”, He made a paste using spit and mud and put that on the man’s eyes instead. He made him go through a process in order to really have new sight, and the man was healed.

Today, ask for Jesus to give you a fresh outlook on the world. Sometimes, it takes going through something messy or gross, like mud-spit, before we can really understand people the way Jesus does. But you know what? It’s always worth it.

Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.
Proverbs 16:32

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 18:21

The Reason for Life

Do you ever wonder why you’re here? Here’s some encouragement.

Spending time with horses has taught me about overcoming fear, trusting others, and building relationships. But one of the greatest takeaways from spending time at the barn is an expression my instructor uses frequently: Where you look is where you’ll go.

In the horse world (and driving world, I’ve learned), this literally means that where your eyes are, that’s where you’ll end up. Horses can sense what you’re focused on and how you’re feeling, which is partially why this happens. But the main reason is that when we are focused on something, the rest of our body follows suite to get us there. We often don’t notice these subtle changes, like turning our hands or shifting our weight to one side. But our horses notice, and eventually if we’re focused on the wrong thing, we’ll notice too.

Part of my job with working with riders is taking the beginner riders on the longe line, which is this long rope that goes from the horse’s head to me. If the horse is too close to me, then he won’t go, but if he’s too far away, then I am no longer in control. This can be an issue since kids on the longe line are practicing riding without reins to get muscle control and build their core, as well as their courage. They rely on me to keep them safe, yet they have to do their part too by keeping their horse at the right distance away.

Occasionally, (okay, often), a young rider gets distracted by the other, more advanced riders out in the arena. They are looking at them instead of looking ahead in the direction they need to go. That allows the horse to take the opportunity to go where he isn’t supposed to, often ending up in a frustrating situation for all of us.

If you’re not a horse-person and you’ve stuck with me this far, great job! I promise this leads somewhere. You see, I’ve come to learn that “where you look is where you go” applies to life too. I mean, sometimes we wish this literally was the case, since then we wouldn’t have to walk anywhere, we could just appear there. But when it comes to goals, if we get distracted, we will never get to where we want to go.

More importantly, when we don’t focus on Jesus, our lives go off-course. I’ve talked about focusing on Jesus countless times, because that’s the only way to have a fulfilling life. When Jesus gets taken out of the picture, the reason behind our existence disappears too.

My friend and I were discussing the meaning of life a couple months ago. (A light topic, I know) When I really get into a conversation, I say whatever comes to me without thinking through it, which can sometimes be a good thing, actually. I told her that if we didn’t have a purpose in life (aka living for Jesus, fulfilling His will) then we wouldn’t want to life. She gave me a startled look and clarified, “So if I didn’t know my purpose, I would just want to die?”

I thought for a moment. Was that really what I meant?

Maybe it actually was.

You see, whether you realize it or not, we spend our entire lives searching for our purpose. When we finally figure things out, we realize that “knowing our purpose” isn’t having some step-by-step formula of how we want life to go. It doesn’t have to be knowing our career path or who we’ll end up with. It just means realizing our purpose is found in relationship with Jesus. Apart from that, we live empty, shallow lives.

So if you’re freaking out because you don’t have answers, don’t be scared. No one has all the answers. We may never have all the answers on this side of Heaven. But as long as you are relentlessly pursuing Jesus, you will find your purpose, I can promise you that.

You are here for a reason. You are loved.

Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. ³For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. ⁴When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.
Colossians 3:2-4