Devotional – Page 27 – The Will to Wake Up

For Such a Time as This

Queen Esther made the choice to trust God and fulfill her purpose, despite her fear. How have you struggled to be courageous?

I’ve often heard people make the excuse “I can’t do this because I’m not a brave person”, like bravery is a personality trait or something. No, it is not. I believe that anyone can be brave. Yes, including you.

Fear is the enemy’s favorite weapon against us. He uses it to trick us into not fulfilling our purposes. God knows that we need encouragement to be brave, which is why He reminds us over 300 times in the Bible to not be afraid. So, if you’re trying to figure out what God wants you to do every day, it’s to get rid of fear!

But the thing is, being brave doesn’t mean we aren’t afraid. We can only be brave when we overcome something we’re afraid of; when we take action despite our fear.

My very favorite female Bible character is Esther. What’s not to love? As a kid, we learned in Sunday school about how brave, devoted, and loyal she was. She’s the model for what a young woman should be, right?

Well, what actually makes me appreciate her even more is that she’s more human than we often make her out to be. Her initial response to her cousin Mordecai’s request for her to stand up for her people, to use her power and position in the best way possible, was not one of eagerness and bravery. She didn’t immediately say, “Yes, I absolutely will risk my life for you all!”

No, she actually told him that she couldn’t do what he requested because she would put her own life in danger. She allowed her fears to get the best of her.

But thankfully, Mordecai didn’t accept that response. He pushed her to step out of her comfort zone in order to fulfill God’s purpose for her, which is what we should do for our loved ones too. He reminded her that she was created for just a time as this.

Even with these words, Esther didn’t immediately take action. She needed guidance from God, more than usual, so she asked Mordecai to tell all their people to fast and pray for her. She agreed to go before the king, but that threat of dying was still in the back of her mind. That fear wasn’t gone, which was apparent in her next course of action.

She came before the king, and instead of bringing up the issue right away, she asked him and Hamaan (the one trying to kill all the Jews) to come to a feast she prepared. Perhaps this was all a part of her plan, or perhaps she was too nervous to tell him what she really wanted right away. Likely it was a little of both. I’m sure we’ve all had that moment where we’ve created a plan of action when trying to do something we’re afraid of doing in order to feel more in control. Making a plan is totally fine as long as we seek God’s wisdom while making it.

It took two feasts before Esther got up the courage to ask the king to spare her people. She did it afraid. She did it after not wanting to earlier. She second-guessed herself and had to create a plan of action before doing what God wanted her to do.

But she still did it and saved her people. She still fulfilled her purpose. She wasn’t any less brave for doing it afraid. Because essentially, she did it.

What’s something God’s calling you to do today? Is fear holding you back from fulfilling your purpose? Remember, nothing is impossible for you when God is your strength. You are put in this situation for just a time as this and you have the same God-given power and abilities Esther received to do what you need to do.

Now’s the time to do it.

For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?
Esther 4:14

But He said, “The things that are impossible with people are possible with God.”
Luke 18:27

What if I Ruined God’s Plan?

Do you ever struggle with fearing that you’re going to mess up God’s plan for you?

If you’ve ever struggled with the fear of missing out, the fear of messing up God’s plans for you, or you’re bogged down by regrets, I’m going to say something that will lift your burdens.

You do not have the power to mess up or change God’s plans for you.

I’m the sort of person who always needs to know where I’m headed. I want things planned out, and more importantly, for things to go according to that plan. As I’ve debated what to study in college, I’ve been trying to listen to God’s voice. I have worried about picking the wrong career that doesn’t go along with what God wants for me.

But then I heard that quote on a podcast last night, and suddenly a burden lifted. We give ourselves too much credit sometimes. We think we know what’s best for us and that one mistake can mess up everything.

But the truth is, what if the things we consider mistakes are actually a part of God’s plan for us?

I’m not saying you should go out and try to do things that will harm you or others. But instead of looking back on the past with regret or fearing making more mistakes in the future, realize that everything that happens is in accordance to God’s plan. He would never let something happen without a reason.

That can be hard to grasp, especially if something painful has happened to you recently. When the pastor at my church passed away, I struggled to figure out how that was a part of God’s plan. I couldn’t comprehend why God would allow his family to go through so much. To be honest, we may never know the reasons behind painful situations until we get to Heaven. But until we set our minds on things above rather than on just what we know right now, our minds won’t be open to the possibility that God is doing things greater than what we can imagine.

What about you? What’s something from the past that you can’t let go of? Are you angry at God for taking someone away or for not giving you an opportunity you believe you deserve?

It’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to need time and space. But we shouldn’t blame God for our pain. Jesus is the one who came down to take away our pain. He absorbed every single person’s pain, the result of our sin-filled world, so that we won’t be separated from God.

Don’t ignore that gift. Don’t take that gift for granted. God is here with you now and He wants to hear from you. He wants to guide you and show you His plan. But until you remove the barriers between you and God, you won’t be able to fully embrace God’s plan for your life.

So today, if you’re struggling to make a decision, listen to wise counsel and ask God what He wants you to do. Then, instead of waiting around, just go for it. Don’t look back, just keep moving forward. You are living out God’s plan right now, at this very moment. Isn’t that amazing? And nothing you can ever do will change that because God’s love never changes.

I know that You can do all things,
And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.
Job 42:2

The mind of a man plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.
Isaiah 55:8

But we speak God’s wisdom in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God predestined before the ages to our glory.
1 Corinthians 2:7

In a New Light

Have you ever felt so burdened by the weight of this world that you forgot to look for the Light?

Do any of you have that one part of town that you think you know super well? You could almost drive blindfolded you know the streets so well. And sometimes that means you take unnecessary risks because you don’t have your guard up.

Well, I’d have to say that I’m pretty confident driving in neighborhoods. I’m not a confident driver in the least, but maybe it’s the 25 mph that does it for me. Anyway, I was driving home tonight and, being 8:14 pm, it was very dark. As I drove down a street that I’ve been on hundreds of times, I suddenly decided that tonight would be the night to find a new short cut.

So I turn onto this smaller road and come to a crossroads. A part of my brain says to turn back, no longer recognizing the area, but I decide to turn left and see where that takes me. I’m almost certain I’ll be on the main road again in no time!

But as I turn down that road, I feel very…lost. And wondering if my shortcut is really saving any time.

Then all of a sudden the light clicks on. Literally, I came to a bigger intersection and there were several lampposts. And I realize that I’m not lost, I’ve just driven the long way around on a bunch of roads I’ve seen a million times. I just didn’t recognize where I was in my journey while driving in the dark. If it had been light out, I would’ve known where I was going.

So many times in the Bible, Jesus is referred to the Light of the world. We are called to be the light among darkness too. But how can being “the light” help us?

First of all, since we know that Jesus is the ultimate Light, by following in Jesus’ footsteps, we will know what the next right decision should be in our lives. We will become like the One we serve and people will wonder what’s so special about us. And when we tell them, they can experience God’s love too.

Second, when we have Jesus, through the Bible and in other ways, lighting our path, we will have a better sense of where we are going. It can be so easy to get bogged down by the darkness in our world, whether through social media, a discouraging piece of news, or a heartbreaking diagnosis. But God always has a plan for us. We can’t listen to the messages that we aren’t good enough or that we have to be perfect in order to be worth anything. Because the truth is, when we see things the way God sees it, we have a better understanding of where we are in our journey.

For some of us, we may be reaching the end. For others, it’s just the beginning. But God will use you through everything that happens to you.

So today, take a step back from whatever you’re struggling with. Realize that this isn’t going to be forever. This is just one small part of a bigger picture. You are going to do great things no matter what. Keep holding onto your faith and hope by looking for the Light in the darkness.

This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.
1 John 1:5

While he was still speaking, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and behold, a voice out of the cloud said, “This is My beloved Son, with whom I am well-pleased; listen to Him!”
Matthew 17:5

Leaving the Past Behind Us

Do you have trouble letting go? Here is some encouragement.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve gotten so much out of the “Luke Challenge” this year. If you haven’t heard of it, basically the goal is to read one chapter of Luke every day starting from December 1st until Christmas Eve, since there are 24 chapters in Luke. The point is to celebrate Jesus and learn more about His time on Earth. Jesus has a different message for each of us this year, and it’s important to spend time reflecting on His legacy and on what He’s taught us in 2020.

Anyway, I have felt very convicted multiple times during this challenge, and I’m only through chapter 9! But last night’s in particular stuck out to me. I’ll share the passage below. It’s titled in some translations “The Cost of Following Jesus”.

As they were traveling across the road someone said to Him, “I will follow you wherever you go.”
Jesus told him, “Foxes have dens, and birds of the sky have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay His head.” Then He said to another, “Follow me.”
“Lord,” he said, “first let me go bury my father.”
But he told him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and spread the news of the kingdom of God.”
Another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but first let me go and say goodbye to those at my house.”
But Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”
Luke 9:57-62

Ok, first of all, let’s just take a pause for a moment and really let those words soak in.

Wow.

I will be the first to admit that I am horrible at letting go. Letting go of what, you might ask? Literally everything. People, possessions, dreams– even when I know something else is better for me. There are so many points made in this chapter, but I’m going to focus on the point Jesus makes about being willing to let go in order to follow Him.

When I first read this passage, I thought, “Wow, Jesus, you’re sure being harsh on them for not even letting them say goodbye to their families or even bury their loved ones.” But the more I thought about it, I think the point Jesus is trying to make is different than just our surface level assumptions.

Jesus is not necessarily (I’m not going to speak on His behalf of course) saying that you have to suddenly ditch everyone and be irresponsible. In fact, God is described as being faithful several times in the Bible, and we should be faithful as well. He is also not trying to tell us to not love others enough to even say goodbye or to not honor the dead.

Personally, I believe that Jesus is trying to emphasize that while we should love others and be loyal, nothing can come between Him and us. When we agree to follow Jesus, we change completely. We are a whole new person with a whole new life. And when we get so focused on our past lifestyle, then we can’t truly move forward with doing what Jesus commands us to do. We can’t have it both ways; we have to pick either our old way of living or follow Jesus and love Him with our entire heart.

I know how challenging it can be to let go of something, especially if we thought at one point that it was meant for us. But we can’t let our dreams, possessions, or even others come in between us and God. We simply cannot truly live for God with one foot in our old life and one foot in the new. It just doesn’t work like that, no matter how much we want it to.

Today, I challenge you to take a step back and reflect on the areas of your life where you may be living as your old self instead of your new self. Stop dwelling on the past, whether it’s mistakes you made long ago or dreams that didn’t come true for you. You are a whole new person now, and those chains do not have to hold you down any longer. Is there anything in your life coming between you and Jesus? A relationship? A job? A habit you simply can’t break?

This is one of the hardest things we can do– letting go. Not only that, but admitting we’ve done wrong in the first place can be difficult too. But it’s so important. Neglecting our need for growth is one of the biggest things that separates us from God.

I’ll be taking this challenge with you and checking in later to see where we’re at. For now, I pray that you can grow closer to God through this season.

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 4:22-24

Lose Me to Love You

How has this year changed you and your relationship with God?

I don’t know about you, but a little something I’ve started looking forward to each year around this time is my Spotify Wrapped– basically a summery of what songs I listened to and who I listened to over the past year.

To my complete shock, the song that I apparently played the most in 2020 was Lose You to Love Me, by Selena Gomez. I mostly play contemporary Christian music, but I also dapple in pop and random other genres that people recommend. Yet this surprised me because I hadn’t listened to this song since sometime last spring. But reflecting on the title and the concept caused me to think for a minute.

I think that in many ways, one of the biggest things I learned in 2020 was summed up in the title “Lose You to Love Me”. Throughout the year, I realized that it’s okay to be misunderstood for my faith and my uniqueness. It’s okay to not be liked by everyone I meet. It’s okay to stand out sometimes. And most importantly, it’s okay to not live up to other people’s expectations. The only one who should define us is God. Ultimately, the only ones we will have at the end will be God and ourselves. We can’t fully love others until we invest that same energy in appreciating ourselves and recognizing how we are made in God’s image.

But an even more important lesson I learned was in the reverse of this title. I learned to lose me to love God. I have always wanted to be in control, but this year more than ever did I realize in order to fully trust God, I have to let go of my own plans in order to accept where He was leading me. Sometimes we get so caught up in the day-to-day that we forget that God has an even bigger plan for us. When we get fixated on just what we can see, we lose our faith. For faith is not in the seen, but is assurance of what we do not see.

I think 2020 is a year in which we’ve all needed a lot of faith. Whether it’s been having faith in a God that’s still good despite all the civil unrest, tragedies, and uncertainties, to wondering what is to come in the future. But before COVID and all that has defined 2020 for many of us, I wrote down as my word of the year a word that many may not associate with how this year’s been– hope.

My translation of the definition of faith that used the word assurance (which was taken from the Bible) in some translations is actually the word hope. Faith is not some wishful thinking type of hope. Faith is hoping with complete confidence that God will restore our lives and use us according to His purpose.

It’s definitely been a strange year. But I’ve noticed more than ever before that God is working in mysterious ways that we can’t even comprehend. So today, whether you are feeling discouraged by the weight of the world or how this year may have disappointed you, remember that we can still have faith. We can still have hope.

But we can only feel free of worry when we lose ourselves and our failures, disappointments, and concerns by focusing on what is never changing– our loving relationship with God.

And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.
Hebrews 11:6

And Jesus answered them, “Have faith in God. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
Mark 11:22-24

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
Hebrews 11:1

You Don’t Need Justification

Are you in a dark part of your life right now? Here’s a little hope.

For several months of my life a few years ago, I felt like the most lonely person in the world. I almost wanted to be diagnosed with something so that I could have justification for how I felt.

When talking about my experiences with loneliness, I often share with others the major life events that took place during that time, trying to explain the justification behind my feelings.

There are so many people out there feeling upset, discouraged, and utterly alone. Hopeless. They want an answer to why they are feeling the way they do, so they turn to online resources, personality tests, and their community. They want to feel like they have a reason for being who they are.

I want to say this right now, and I hope you can believe it. You don’t need to justify how you’re feeling to anyone. God made you the way you are for a reason– never doubt that. You are lovable. You are worthy. You have a purpose.

I feel like we often just need that reminder, no matter who we are or what we are struggling with. We need validation.

But the only one who should be allowed to validate us is God himself. God is the one who knows us, loves us unconditionally, and created us in the beginning.

No one else can say that. So then why do we give them power over our lives?

Just some thoughts on a day that has been a little extra tough for me. Maybe you’re going through one of those days too.

You’re not alone. God will always be with you, to the very end of the age. He promises that, and God has never broken a single promise.

“And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Matthew 28:20

Can I be Upset AND a Christian?

If you’ve felt guilty for being anything but happy, then this post is for you.

I’m going to be honest with you, because I always am, and say that recently I haven’t really been feeling myself. It’s been off and on, and I’ve tried to avoid thinking about it.

But today I had something force me to think about it. I confronted my emotions and tried to figure out what had changed. I realized that perhaps I was hurt about something that I didn’t want to deal with and I was allowing that to come into other parts of my life.

Something not often discussed by Christians is how to confront our negative feelings. Often the verse “count it all joy” comes to mind and we decide that it’s best to not feel those uncomfortable things. If we are upset, then we aren’t Christian, right?

Wrong.

Being joyful all the time does not mean we have to be happy all the time. Joy does not equal happiness.

Being joyful means that while we can be upset, we do not have to give up on our hope in Jesus. We still believe that He is good no matter what. We are not as easily discouraged. However, it means we can and should cry when we need to and feel those difficult emotions when they arise.

If you are not feeling particularly happy today, that’s okay. But instead of allowing that sadness to flow into all the areas of your life, take some time to rest today and reflect on what exactly is causing you to feel this way. Is it someone that hurt you in the past? Is is a major stressor that you’ve been trying to ignore?

Take time to pray to God and ask Him how to combat these feelings in a healthy way. It’s okay if you need to call someone you can trust to seek help or if you don’t feel like talking about it.

I want you to remember that being upset does not mean you’re a “bad Christian”. Even Jesus wept and got upset. But He didn’t allow that to hurt His relationships or negatively impact His ministry. Instead, He used those feelings as a way to connect with His Father.

So today, if you aren’t feeling quite yourself, that’s okay. I want you to take some time to sit with those feelings and understand what is causing them. If you need to make some changes, then make those changes!

Ultimately, God is in control of your life and He will be there for you whether you’re angry, sad, heartbroken, happy, or anything in between. God loves you so much.

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.
Psalm 34:17-20

Enduring Pain

If you feel stuck, trying to figure out if there is any good that can come from your pain, keep reading.

A random skill that most people wouldn’t know I have is being a pretty good back massager. You heard me right…and you’re probably wondering why you’re still reading!

Well, I’ll get to the point…soon. You know how we Nines love our stories 😉

My mom used to tell people that she had a daughter simply to get free back massages, and a small part of me occasionally wonders if that’s true considering the frequency at which she requests them. As humans age, as you may know from experience, they often experience muscle stiffness. Tonight I was helping my mom get a knot out of her back, and after the allotted time I had agreed to perform this service was up, I asked if she wanted me to continue. She laughed and replied, “I would like that, but I don’t think I can endure the pain.”

This part may not surprise you, if you know me at all. After she said that, I suddenly knew I had to blog. Not about muscles, weird skills, or getting old. But rather, about pain.

About a year ago, one of my first posts was about pain and how many people often use numbing mechanisms to avoid it. Little did I know that throughout this past year, I’ve struggled with dealing with my pain and negative emotions. I often choose to not feel things, but then that includes the positive, happy memories as well.

I think avoiding pain can be one of our biggest mistakes in life. The longer we avoid the pain, the longer we avoid the good that can come out of that pain. God does not take us through difficult seasons without a reason. He knows that there’s something better at the end, but we just have to persevere. And sometimes that means trying something again that may have previously hurt us.

Now, I’m not telling you to go and let people walk all over you. I don’t want you to get into a dangerous situation or go backwards on a process towards good health. But if God is calling you to try something again, whether it’s a relationship, a career, a hobby, or perhaps even just diving back in your Bible, then you should go for it.

We love making excuses as to why we can’t possibly embrace our pain. We tell ourselves that we can’t endure it. And we’re right, we can’t.

At least, we can’t alone.

But God is always with us and He will give us the strength to get through anything.

I’ve seen so many people go through things I could never imagine going through with such bravery. They continue to live for God, they continue to go about their daily lives, and they will still be heroes, such strong people, in my eyes when they admit their pain and sorrow.

Don’t allow fear of people’s reactions to affect how you grieve, whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or a forgotten dream. The ones who are meant to be in your life and really care about you will give you the space to feel what you need to feel.

I know it’s hard trying again. I know it’s hard doing what God calls us to do. I’m not going to sit here and expect you to suddenly change your life or do things that risk heartbreak alone. I’m going to try to get out of my comfort zone and figure out my emotions as well, in a healthy way.

I know that we can both get through whatever life throws at us because we are empowered by our Creator. God loves us and designed us to need Him, and when we turn to Him, we will overflow with His grace, courage, and perseverance.

I’ll be praying for you. Don’t give up. ❤

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:2

Admit What You Need

Admit it when you need help in order to build better relationships– both with God and with loved ones.

A lot of times I hide how I feel or what I need because I don’t want to bother others. At least, that’s what I often tell myself when justifying not reaching out.

But another major reason why I’m hesitant to reach out to people with my desires is because I don’t want to admit that I’m weak, insufficient, and not completely capable of everything. I don’t want to crush this false illusion in my mind that I’ve somehow proven to others that I am basically inhuman in my abilities to be self-sufficient.

This only hurts my relationships with others, and this mindset of not wanting to be vulnerable hurts our relationship with God too.

Let’s be honest, some people truly don’t want to see our less-than-perfect side. They only want us when we can help them.

But God isn’t like that. Not one little bit.

He wants our ENTIRE heart. He wants the brokenness because only He can make it beautiful. He wants to comfort us. He wants to sustain us. He wants to give us strength.

But He isn’t going to arrive uninvited. We have to let Him in if we want His help.

The same goes for people. If we act like nothing is wrong, then people will assume we are fine. We need to be willing to be human in order to get the help that we need. We have to be vulnerable in order for others to feel truly comfortable with us.

Not only does this help us, but it strengthens our relationships, both with people and with God.

We show God that we are willing to allow Him to use all the areas of our life, including the things we’d rather leave unexposed.

So today, allow the people who really care about you into your life, both the good and bad. Tell them if you need something, and be willing to let them be vulnerable with you too.

In addition, think about the areas of your life where you’ve held back from showing your true self to God. Ask Him to show you the areas where you need to let go and allow Him to take over. God will help you through any struggle you are going through, as long as you let Him in.

More than anything, remember that you are never a burden. You don’t have to always be strong. Allow yourself to be immersed in the love and comfort that God and your loved ones want to give you.

You are enough.

For he has not despised or scorned
the suffering of the afflicted one;
he has not hidden his face from him
but has listened to his cry for help.
Psalm 22:24

Just a Little Thing

I was inspired by the newest member of my family for this post– Rocky. He’s a two month old puppy who is anything but obedient. He is incredibly dramatic, playful, energetic, smart, and strong-willed. We love him, but it’s very frustrating when he doesn’t understand why we want him to do certain things, like oh I don’t know, maybe use the bathroom outside or not chew up things that don’t belong to him…!?

Sometimes we have to put Rocky in the crate in order to give him alone time to think about what he did wrong and why he needs us to train him. He hates it, but generally he feels better when he calms down and rests.

God gives us seasons where we are stuck (hello quarantine) or unable to fully function the way we want to. Other times, He might cause us to take the time to realize we need to turn to God alone, and not other sources of distraction. It’s up to us, though, whether we will grow and be able to move on from those seasons, or if we will scream and fight our way out.

Rocky is only four pounds and it’s pretty funny (although it gets old really fast) when he tries bossing us around, especially during mealtime. He thinks he deserves things that may hurt him or he isn’t ready for yet. He doesn’t always realize the power we actually have over him and how tiny he truly is in the grand scheme of things.

I think I struggle with this a lot, and you might too. My feelings are so strong, my desires seeming to be so valid, that I forget how minuscule I am in comparison to this entire universe. I forget that I barely know anything next to the Creator of the world. I need to step back and appreciate what God is telling me to do, because He, just like with us for our puppy, wants the best for us. He doesn’t want us to get hurt, but He may allow us to have difficulties in order to learn from them.

Today I challenge you to step back from a world centered around yourself. Instead, think about what God might have for you and what He is calling you to do. We all have a greater purpose that allows us to have a bigger impact.

Whether one door closes or another is opening, God has a plan for everything. We may not understand why things are happening the way they are right now, but eventually I hope you can see that God has been with you and will be with you every step of the way. You can have hope and comfort in the fact that God is in control of your life, no one else.

You will be taken care of.

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31