Tag: Devotional

Lose Me to Love You

How has this year changed you and your relationship with God?

I don’t know about you, but a little something I’ve started looking forward to each year around this time is my Spotify Wrapped– basically a summery of what songs I listened to and who I listened to over the past year.

To my complete shock, the song that I apparently played the most in 2020 was Lose You to Love Me, by Selena Gomez. I mostly play contemporary Christian music, but I also dapple in pop and random other genres that people recommend. Yet this surprised me because I hadn’t listened to this song since sometime last spring. But reflecting on the title and the concept caused me to think for a minute.

I think that in many ways, one of the biggest things I learned in 2020 was summed up in the title “Lose You to Love Me”. Throughout the year, I realized that it’s okay to be misunderstood for my faith and my uniqueness. It’s okay to not be liked by everyone I meet. It’s okay to stand out sometimes. And most importantly, it’s okay to not live up to other people’s expectations. The only one who should define us is God. Ultimately, the only ones we will have at the end will be God and ourselves. We can’t fully love others until we invest that same energy in appreciating ourselves and recognizing how we are made in God’s image.

But an even more important lesson I learned was in the reverse of this title. I learned to lose me to love God. I have always wanted to be in control, but this year more than ever did I realize in order to fully trust God, I have to let go of my own plans in order to accept where He was leading me. Sometimes we get so caught up in the day-to-day that we forget that God has an even bigger plan for us. When we get fixated on just what we can see, we lose our faith. For faith is not in the seen, but is assurance of what we do not see.

I think 2020 is a year in which we’ve all needed a lot of faith. Whether it’s been having faith in a God that’s still good despite all the civil unrest, tragedies, and uncertainties, to wondering what is to come in the future. But before COVID and all that has defined 2020 for many of us, I wrote down as my word of the year a word that many may not associate with how this year’s been– hope.

My translation of the definition of faith that used the word assurance (which was taken from the Bible) in some translations is actually the word hope. Faith is not some wishful thinking type of hope. Faith is hoping with complete confidence that God will restore our lives and use us according to His purpose.

It’s definitely been a strange year. But I’ve noticed more than ever before that God is working in mysterious ways that we can’t even comprehend. So today, whether you are feeling discouraged by the weight of the world or how this year may have disappointed you, remember that we can still have faith. We can still have hope.

But we can only feel free of worry when we lose ourselves and our failures, disappointments, and concerns by focusing on what is never changing– our loving relationship with God.

And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.

Hebrews 11:6

And Jesus answered them, “Have faith in God. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

Mark 11:22-24

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:1

You Don’t Need Justification

Are you in a dark part of your life right now? Here’s a little hope.

For several months of my life a few years ago, I felt like the most lonely person in the world. I almost wanted to be diagnosed with something so that I could have justification for how I felt.

When talking about my experiences with loneliness, I often share with others the major life events that took place during that time, trying to explain the justification behind my feelings.

There are so many people out there feeling upset, discouraged, and utterly alone. Hopeless. They want an answer to why they are feeling the way they do, so they turn to online resources, personality tests, and their community. They want to feel like they have a reason for being who they are.

I want to say this right now, and I hope you can believe it. You don’t need to justify how you’re feeling to anyone. God made you the way you are for a reason– never doubt that. You are lovable. You are worthy. You have a purpose.

I feel like we often just need that reminder, no matter who we are or what we are struggling with. We need validation.

But the only one who should be allowed to validate us is God himself. God is the one who knows us, loves us unconditionally, and created us in the beginning.

No one else can say that. So then why do we give them power over our lives?

Just some thoughts on a day that has been a little extra tough for me. Maybe you’re going through one of those days too.

You’re not alone. God will always be with you, to the very end of the age. He promises that, and God has never broken a single promise.

“And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Matthew 28:20

Can I be Upset AND a Christian?

If you’ve felt guilty for being anything but happy, then this post is for you.

I’m going to be honest with you, because I always am, and say that recently I haven’t really been feeling myself. It’s been off and on, and I’ve tried to avoid thinking about it.

But today I had something force me to think about it. I confronted my emotions and tried to figure out what had changed. I realized that perhaps I was hurt about something that I didn’t want to deal with and I was allowing that to come into other parts of my life.

Something not often discussed by Christians is how to confront our negative feelings. Often the verse “count it all joy” comes to mind and we decide that it’s best to not feel those uncomfortable things. If we are upset, then we aren’t Christian, right?

Wrong.

Being joyful all the time does not mean we have to be happy all the time. Joy does not equal happiness.

Being joyful means that while we can be upset, we do not have to give up on our hope in Jesus. We still believe that He is good no matter what. We are not as easily discouraged. However, it means we can and should cry when we need to and feel those difficult emotions when they arise.

If you are not feeling particularly happy today, that’s okay. But instead of allowing that sadness to flow into all the areas of your life, take some time to rest today and reflect on what exactly is causing you to feel this way. Is it someone that hurt you in the past? Is is a major stressor that you’ve been trying to ignore?

Take time to pray to God and ask Him how to combat these feelings in a healthy way. It’s okay if you need to call someone you can trust to seek help or if you don’t feel like talking about it.

I want you to remember that being upset does not mean you’re a “bad Christian”. Even Jesus wept and got upset. But He didn’t allow that to hurt His relationships or negatively impact His ministry. Instead, He used those feelings as a way to connect with His Father.

So today, if you aren’t feeling quite yourself, that’s okay. I want you to take some time to sit with those feelings and understand what is causing them. If you need to make some changes, then make those changes!

Ultimately, God is in control of your life and He will be there for you whether you’re angry, sad, heartbroken, happy, or anything in between. God loves you so much.

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.

Psalm 34:17-20

Enduring Pain

If you feel stuck, trying to figure out if there is any good that can come from your pain, keep reading.

A random skill that most people wouldn’t know I have is being a pretty good back massager. You heard me right…and you’re probably wondering why you’re still reading!

Well, I’ll get to the point…soon. You know how we Nines love our stories 😉

My mom used to tell people that she had a daughter simply to get free back massages, and a small part of me occasionally wonders if that’s true considering the frequency at which she requests them. As humans age, as you may know from experience, they often experience muscle stiffness. Tonight I was helping my mom get a knot out of her back, and after the allotted time I had agreed to perform this service was up, I asked if she wanted me to continue. She laughed and replied, “I would like that, but I don’t think I can endure the pain.”

This part may not surprise you, if you know me at all. After she said that, I suddenly knew I had to blog. Not about muscles, weird skills, or getting old. But rather, about pain.

About a year ago, one of my first posts was about pain and how many people often use numbing mechanisms to avoid it. Little did I know that throughout this past year, I’ve struggled with dealing with my pain and negative emotions. I often choose to not feel things, but then that includes the positive, happy memories as well.

I think avoiding pain can be one of our biggest mistakes in life. The longer we avoid the pain, the longer we avoid the good that can come out of that pain. God does not take us through difficult seasons without a reason. He knows that there’s something better at the end, but we just have to persevere. And sometimes that means trying something again that may have previously hurt us.

Now, I’m not telling you to go and let people walk all over you. I don’t want you to get into a dangerous situation or go backwards on a process towards good health. But if God is calling you to try something again, whether it’s a relationship, a career, a hobby, or perhaps even just diving back in your Bible, then you should go for it.

We love making excuses as to why we can’t possibly embrace our pain. We tell ourselves that we can’t endure it. And we’re right, we can’t.

At least, we can’t alone.

But God is always with us and He will give us the strength to get through anything.

I’ve seen so many people go through things I could never imagine going through with such bravery. They continue to live for God, they continue to go about their daily lives, and they will still be heroes, such strong people, in my eyes when they admit their pain and sorrow.

Don’t allow fear of people’s reactions to affect how you grieve, whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or a forgotten dream. The ones who are meant to be in your life and really care about you will give you the space to feel what you need to feel.

I know it’s hard trying again. I know it’s hard doing what God calls us to do. I’m not going to sit here and expect you to suddenly change your life or do things that risk heartbreak alone. I’m going to try to get out of my comfort zone and figure out my emotions as well, in a healthy way.

I know that we can both get through whatever life throws at us because we are empowered by our Creator. God loves us and designed us to need Him, and when we turn to Him, we will overflow with His grace, courage, and perseverance.

I’ll be praying for you. Don’t give up. ❤

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

James 1:2

Admit What You Need

Admit it when you need help in order to build better relationships– both with God and with loved ones.

A lot of times I hide how I feel or what I need because I don’t want to bother others. At least, that’s what I often tell myself when justifying not reaching out.

But another major reason why I’m hesitant to reach out to people with my desires is because I don’t want to admit that I’m weak, insufficient, and not completely capable of everything. I don’t want to crush this false illusion in my mind that I’ve somehow proven to others that I am basically inhuman in my abilities to be self-sufficient.

This only hurts my relationships with others, and this mindset of not wanting to be vulnerable hurts our relationship with God too.

Let’s be honest, some people truly don’t want to see our less-than-perfect side. They only want us when we can help them.

But God isn’t like that. Not one little bit.

He wants our ENTIRE heart. He wants the brokenness because only He can make it beautiful. He wants to comfort us. He wants to sustain us. He wants to give us strength.

But He isn’t going to arrive uninvited. We have to let Him in if we want His help.

The same goes for people. If we act like nothing is wrong, then people will assume we are fine. We need to be willing to be human in order to get the help that we need. We have to be vulnerable in order for others to feel truly comfortable with us.

Not only does this help us, but it strengthens our relationships, both with people and with God.

We show God that we are willing to allow Him to use all the areas of our life, including the things we’d rather leave unexposed.

So today, allow the people who really care about you into your life, both the good and bad. Tell them if you need something, and be willing to let them be vulnerable with you too.

In addition, think about the areas of your life where you’ve held back from showing your true self to God. Ask Him to show you the areas where you need to let go and allow Him to take over. God will help you through any struggle you are going through, as long as you let Him in.

More than anything, remember that you are never a burden. You don’t have to always be strong. Allow yourself to be immersed in the love and comfort that God and your loved ones want to give you.

You are enough.

For he has not despised or scorned

    the suffering of the afflicted one;

he has not hidden his face from him

    but has listened to his cry for help.

Psalm 22:24

Just a Little Thing

I was inspired by the newest member of my family for this post– Rocky. He’s a two month old puppy who is anything but obedient. He is incredibly dramatic, playful, energetic, smart, and strong-willed. We love him, but it’s very frustrating when he doesn’t understand why we want him to do certain things, like oh I don’t know, maybe use the bathroom outside or not chew up things that don’t belong to him…!?

Sometimes we have to put Rocky in the crate in order to give him alone time to think about what he did wrong and why he needs us to train him. He hates it, but generally he feels better when he calms down and rests.

God gives us seasons where we are stuck (hello quarantine) or unable to fully function the way we want to. Other times, He might cause us to take the time to realize we need to turn to God alone, and not other sources of distraction. It’s up to us, though, whether we will grow and be able to move on from those seasons, or if we will scream and fight our way out.

Rocky is only four pounds and it’s pretty funny (although it gets old really fast) when he tries bossing us around, especially during mealtime. He thinks he deserves things that may hurt him or he isn’t ready for yet. He doesn’t always realize the power we actually have over him and how tiny he truly is in the grand scheme of things.

I think I struggle with this a lot, and you might too. My feelings are so strong, my desires seeming to be so valid, that I forget how minuscule I am in comparison to this entire universe. I forget that I barely know anything next to the Creator of the world. I need to step back and appreciate what God is telling me to do, because He, just like with us for our puppy, wants the best for us. He doesn’t want us to get hurt, but He may allow us to have difficulties in order to learn from them.

Today I challenge you to step back from a world centered around yourself. Instead, think about what God might have for you and what He is calling you to do. We all have a greater purpose that allows us to have a bigger impact.

Whether one door closes or another is opening, God has a plan for everything. We may not understand why things are happening the way they are right now, but eventually I hope you can see that God has been with you and will be with you every step of the way. You can have hope and comfort in the fact that God is in control of your life, no one else.

You will be taken care of.

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

The One or the Ninety-Nine

How often do you care about doing the “right” thing above all else?

I don’t know about you, but for most of my life, I’ve tried doing the “right” thing. And I have a lot of concern for the people who don’t seem to be doing the “right” thing. I spend a lot of time worrying about them and their relationship with God.

But over the last few days, I’ve been reminded of something so important. It’s often the people who stray away from God who have the best stories, who have that true commitment when they do believe. They are the ones who can later say without an ounce of doubt that Jesus forgives and Jesus saves.

Of course I’m not encouraging you to turn away from God in the hopes that He will call you back again and you’ll have an awesome story to share with people. I think it has to happen naturally, and God wants us to follow His commands and go after the lost sheep with Him.

But I think that remembering how God rejoices over the ones who had to be found in the painful thicket and how God is willing to fight for us can give us hope. We don’t have to feel shame when we have been forgiven. We don’t have to dwell on past mistakes because God uses those to draw us and others closer to Him. We can use our past or present sufferings in order to relate to others and make them realize that we aren’t some elitist group. And we don’t have to worry about the ones who have “gone astray”. We have to realize that it’s not our job telling them what to do or be. We just need to be there for them and pray for them and realize that we may have been one of them.

There are different points in our lives where we are either the “one” Jesus is hunting down or part of the righteous “ninety-nine”. It can be hard being in either category, because sometimes when we are the “one”, we are lost and desperate for something better. But once we are found, there is so much love and celebration!

When we are in the “ninety-nine”, we are growing and becoming the people we were made to be. But it can also feel like we’re stuck in a trap, sometimes it feels like Christianity is just a book of rules and not a real relationship. But if we are able to balance both the way we need to live and our fellowship with Jesus and other believers, we can celebrate no matter what part of the journey we are on.

So today, I hope you can have a little bit of the burden lifted off your shoulders, whether you are feeling as though you can’t get out of a lifestyle without God, or if you are worried about the lost sheep in your life. You can get through this. You can become the person you were made to be. But you need to trust that God has a plan for every one of His children, and it’s just up to you to follow Him and believe.

“And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.'”

~Luke 15:5-6