Tag: Anxiety

A Simple Prayer

Do you struggle with finding time for rest?

When I was young, I struggled with falling asleep. By struggled, I mean it was a serious battle every night to shut my fearful thoughts off long enough to close my eyes and let the heavy breathing set in.

As I’ve gotten older, this has improved, though I still struggle with falling asleep after a particularly stimulating day.

Perhaps you can relate to this particular problem, or on a broader scale, you have had trouble finding time to truly pause and rest. In our busy world, we are bombarded with demands and a million things to hold our attention.

But God promises us rest.

When I was young, I would ask my mom for help with falling asleep. She would launch into a lengthy prayer, listing off every possible person we might know who could use prayer. Sometimes, that would be enough to distract my thoughts to the point of falling asleep.

But now, I’ve gotten into the habit of refocusing my thoughts, rather than finding distraction, and centering them on God. A simple prayer, asking for rest, is all it takes to get that rest.

It may not come in the form you imagined. I have a friend who got sick and had to cancel her plans, which was very frustrating for her, but then it turned out she needed that week to rest up for the stressful month ahead.

Rest can come in many forms, such as:

  • God giving you the courage to set a boundary with someone
  • Cancelled plans
  • Having a barrier come up that opens up a chance to take a break
  • A few moments of quiet every night
  • Finding a listening ear in a friend you didn’t expect
  • Going out into nature to feel God’s presence
  • And many, many more! I would never want to limit God’s creativity.

Today, if you are feeling burned out, simply ask God for rest. Take this as a sign to take care of yourself, which is best done in nourishing your soul through rest and time with God. You are not weak for needing a break. ❤

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Matthew 11:28-29

Promises to Remember

For the hard days ❤

Today’s just been one of those days. The kind that wraps you up in its stickiness until you feel like you’re suffocating, barely able to remember days when you felt free. When you felt fully alive.

On days like today, it’s important to remember that this will not last forever.

You may feel stuck, as if nothing could get better. But you aren’t stuck. You are growing, right where you are. And that’s a beautiful thing.

Think back to the last time you felt this way. Perhaps not yesterday, but maybe a year ago, or even five years ago.

You may not have thought you could make it to today, but you did. And I’m so glad you did.

When it feels like nothing is going right, hold onto the promises of God.

He will never leave you, nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6).

Even if everyone else walks away, you will never be alone.

You as precious and perfect in His sight (1 Corinthians 1:8).

A bad test score, a discouraging word, or even a painful mistake can’t separate you from God’s love.

He will use you to do amazing things for the greater good (Romans 8:28).

Your life matters. You were created for a reason. Even if the small things you do each day don’t feel significant, they truly mean the world to someone else. Most of all, God sees you and honors the way you choose to listen to Him.

So today may have been just a rotten, nasty, terrible day. Or maybe it was a day when you fully embraced God’s promises and felt lifted up.

Either way, there will always be tomorrow. Another chance for God’s grace. Another opportunity to make someone smile. Another day that God loves you and wants you to really believe it.

You belong here. Never forget that. ❤

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

An Endless Journey Towards Healing

In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, I will be sharing my personal story to encourage you on your journey ❤

It was like a flip of the switch. Suddenly, the easygoing, joyful young girl I used to recognize was gone. In her place came an overbearing, extremely sensitive, critical little monster.

And that monster was me.

Though a series of difficult events were unfolding in my life, I can’t pinpoint any of them as the root cause of this change. It just…happened.

For a long time, I saw myself as this monster. This person who couldn’t be pleased, who drowned in her own misery when alone. This person who thought nobody wanted to be her friend, when really there were people around who just didn’t notice. And there were some who did notice, but she couldn’t seem to see them at the time.

I look at the past like another lifetime. Another person acting out my life.

And it’s true that much has changed, both in the way I see the world now, and the world itself. But we can’t completely separate ourselves from previous parts of our journey. Pretending like those things don’t bother us anymore is just a disservice to everybody.

Last summer, many of the challenges I faced at the start of my mental health journey resurfaced. But instead of working through them, I pushed them down.

“I’m not the weak, pathetic person I used to be,” I told myself. “I’m over all that.”

But acting like that person was weak and pathetic only caused me further harm. It made me think that I had to be those negative attributes if I was struggling mentally.

I wasn’t weak; I was worn-out and tired. I wasn’t pathetic; I was hungry for the satisfaction and healing that only God can bring.

That was me then, at age 15. That was me last summer. And that is still me today.

When you don’t deal with something, it comes back to face you sooner or later. Sure enough, after being in an unhealthy environment in the fall, I had to remove myself from that community in order to find the deeper healing I needed.

But I can’t say that’s the end of my story.

Sometimes it feels endless, searching for healing. As one thing is resolved, another comes up. But what if we look at each day as a new chance for more than just stress and anxiety?

Every day is a new chance for healing. For grace. For peace.

That also means that every day can be a challenge of trying to accept those gifts from God. It means not feeling worthy of them. It means fighting with my thoughts while trying to focus on the things that actually matter to me.

And it means making healing matter to me.

Mental health can’t be something we push off to tomorrow. You know this. Your mind won’t let you forget it.

Let today be the day that you start to take care of yourself, no matter what others think.

Not everyone will understand. That’s something I had to learn as I’ve begun to take steps towards taking care of myself this year.

But that’s okay. Not everyone needs to understand.

God understands. He designed you, after all, and He will use your story for great things.

It may be hard to see now, but you are growing. You are beautiful, with all your broken pieces. You don’t need to fix yourself. You just need to let the ultimate Healer restore you. ❤

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and I encourage you to share your story with others. It doesn’t have to be on a big platform or even in public. You can share it with a friend or another loved one. Someone who wants the best for you.

Our stories matter. Sure, they don’t reflect every person’s story. No single story can, and we don’t need to burden ourselves with that great of a task.

Just sharing your story is enough to inspire and empower people. To help them know that they are not alone.

You are not alone. ❤

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.

Mark 12:30-31

Don’t Be Upset When God Gives You What You Asked For

What if I told you that God answers all your prayers, just not in the way you expect?

I’ve heard so many stories of Christians leaving their faith because God “didn’t come through for them”. God didn’t give them the person, the opportunity, or the emotion they were hoping for. God was too late.

And why have Christians been set up to believe that God will give them what they want? Because the Bible says so!

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

Matthew 7:7

Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.

John 14:13-14

The list could go on and on. Yet we don’t always get what we ask for, do we?

Often, we try to use logic to explain away the disappointment. God can’t possibly give everyone what they want, right? What about prayers that contradict each other or those that come from evil intentions?

While those remarks are reasonable, they also place a limit on God’s power. God could make it all work, if that was how things should be.

I believe that God does give us what we ask for. But there are two qualifications that we often forget about when things don’t work out the way we planned.

The first comes from other verses regarding God’s answers to our prayers.

If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

John 15:7

Often, we forget about our end of the bargain. We need to want what God wants in order for our requests to be granted. When we align our will with God’s, we will never be disappointed.

God will give us a starting point towards the end goal, but we need to actively participate in this relationship too. It’s like a scholarship for college. An organization believes in you and will fund your way, but you need to do the actual work of obtaining the degree.

God gives you the means, but you have the free will to decide if you will use those gifts to become the person you were created to be, the best version of yourself, or let those blessings slip away.

The second thing to think about is that God does answer every prayer, but He never promises to answer them in the way we thought He would.

Imagine that you are asking to grow in patience. Don’t be surprised if that means you will find yourself surrounded by people who push your buttons. Of course, you didn’t ask God to give you annoying people, but you will certainly grow in patience after the experience.

Or consider the noble prayer of asking for greater trust in God. You will likely be pushed out of your comfort zone with the only option to either trust God or bail off the ship. That may not be pleasant, but you certainly won’t be the same afterwards.

Even prayers like asking God for a loving marriage partner or a career that makes a difference can result in seasons of waiting or humbling jobs that will prepare you for the person or opportunity you desire.

God will give you what you need, but He wants you to be equipped first.

I believe that God answers every prayer because I have often made requests such as those listed above, and found myself in troubling, trying situations. Through the thick of it, I get upset, wondering if God ever answered my prayers.

But when I look back, I am amazed by how those were the seasons I learned the most and came out of the strongest. I often got what I asked for, whether that was comfort from God, a new experience, or growth. But it didn’t come in the form that I had envisioned, which is why I couldn’t appreciate what was happening in the moment.

Fortunately, we have a very patient and understanding God, who is willing to wait for us to figure things out before we are grateful.

This doesn’t mean you should stop asking God for things, especially virtues or traits that would make you more like Christ, even though the way to get those things may be difficult. Instead, I hope these words can encourage you during the journey.

God has not forgotten you. He has heard you and He will transform you into the person you were created to be.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Philippians 4:6-8

To The Indifferent American Teen

An open letter to GenZers.

            Dear Indifferent American Teen,

            Struggling to get up. Lacking motivation. Scrolling for hours. Feeling like a failure. Looking to your elders. Regretting your short life. You fight a battle too. I feel you.

            You Indifferent American Teen.

            You say “I don’t care”. Your shrug and your smirk confirm it.

            But your “I don’t cares” are your cries for help. Your cries tell me that you do care.

            You care until your insides ache and you can barely swallow your pride. You care until your face blemishes and your eyes are forced to turn aside. You care and you care and you care until all you care about is yourself. And that kills you the most.

            Indifference is the mask you have been taught to wear. Only this type of mask doesn’t protect you. It pulls you back. It holds you captive. You are stuck in a web of lies.

            I think you care. People say you don’t, but I know you. I am you. I feel you.

            I think you care the most.

            Every time your heart breaks, you must evaluate how someone will react. Will you lose a friend? Will you be cancelled? Will life ever be the same?

            Every time a new issue pops up, it feels too far away to be real. Yet you don’t want to be left behind. But grasping in the dark for something steady to support you is an endless battle that will tear you apart until you become as empty as your spirit after a tough night.

            You are in a sea of emotions. You are drowning and the only thing you can use as a lifesaver is indifference.

            Indifference makes you sarcastic and pathetic. Indifference makes you hard and distant. Indifference makes you laugh when you know it stings the soul of a fellow human being who stares at you until the laughter dissolves into a tidal wave of tears.

            Indifference is the deepest feeling of all.

            You have been hurt. Your wounds are deep. But you can’t blame a war or a movement or a lack of knowledge. Instead, you blame yourself.

            But you don’t want to be weak. You are supposed to be strong. Strong and independent. Proving your worth. That’s who you are. You can’t change. That’s what they say, anyway.

            Even though you’re young with a full life ahead of you. Even though you’re bright and you aren’t your parents. Even though you’re special and precious and loved. Even though all these things…who are you?

            I’m sitting beside you. I won’t tell you to cry or to feel or to trust me. Trust, that’s something in short supply. What I’ll tell you is this: You aren’t alone. Staring out at the starry night sky, there is someone–thousands of someones–who are just like you. And they don’t know who that person is either.

            I don’t know you. Maybe you don’t want me to. Maybe the only thing keeping you going is keeping your identity a mystery. All yours, no one else’s.

            Sorry to burst your bubble, but someone does know you. Someone cares about you. That Someone wants you. Needs you. Trusts you. Values you.

            That Someone will love you the way your heart longs to be loved as your eyes linger a little too long on the one that broke your heart. It wasn’t their love that you needed. It was Someone’s.

            I’ll venture to say, it was God’s.

            So when you feel indifferent, tell Someone that. Tell Him and wait. You might just get a feeling.

            I know I did.

            Sincerely,

            Your Fellow American Teen, who isn’t so indifferent anymore

Stepping Into Another Year of Life

A little note on birthdays 🙂

I realized yesterday that I’ve never posted on my birthday, always the day after. But this year is the time for something different.

I love this quote on birthdays by Morgan Harper Nichols:

Take heart.

The value of your life

is not measured in calendar years.

When I was a kid, I used to enjoy the presents and the time with friends for my birthday, but I would also dread getting older. Why be ten when I loved being nine?

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve felt the pressure to speed up the aging process in order to be respected. It’s a compliment to be seen as more mature than you really are.

And I suppose once I hit my 30’s or 40’s, I’ll want to be young again. So the cycle continues.

I think this with a chuckle: We are never really satisfied, are we?

As C.S. Lewis once put it, we are created with an eternal purpose and an eternal soul within us, which means only eternal things can satisfy us.

This year has been a reminder to put everything in God’s hands. Our plans, our dreams, even what we think we need, can change with the flip of a switch. Everything can be gone in an instant, even what we once thought was love.

Except God’s love, of course. That lasts forever.

It’s been painful to realize that things not going smoothly isn’t a sign that I’m not abiding by God’s will. It may very well be that God steered me down an uncomfortable path for a reason. It means that things will hurt and parts of my life will get pruned. But it’s all necessary for beautiful growth.

So today, at the end of a very long year that simultaneously went by in a snap, I will just say one thing:

Cherish what you have while you have it. The loved ones, the opportunities, the peace. But never hold onto anything too tightly, except for God. We float through life like a feather in the wind. But we are headed in the direction–the best direction possible–that God has in mind for us.

So don’t waste away the present by worrying about the future. Instead, hold onto hope as you move forward with a smile, knowing that maybe tomorrow will be a little bit better. ❤

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

2 Corinthians 5:17

You Are Essential

You are needed here, no matter what you have done.

Let’s be honest. We’re all sick of that word, but it’s still there, used to distinguish between the people who “help” and who don’t.

But what if I told you that you are essential, just by being here?

Maybe you haven’t solved the most recent medical crisis or participated in a noteworthy act of kindness.

Maybe you forget to hold the door open or don’t smile at a kid waving at you. Maybe you don’t go the extra mile for others.

Maybe you’ve done things so terrible that your heart aches just thinking about them.

But what if I told you that even with all those things, you are still needed here?

It’s not a question. It’s really a statement.

You. Are. Needed. Here.

Why? Well, glad you asked.

Maybe you’ve messed up. Big time. But that doesn’t mean those choices have to dictate the rest of your life.

Today could be the day you step out and say:

I am worth it.

I do make an impact.

I can use the love I’ve felt to motive me to love others.

And maybe all those things feel like catchphrases that slip in one ear and out the other. Fake. Not in your heart. Mindless.

But what if simple, yet profound phrases actually sink deeper into your heart? What if you allow yourself to believe that those things are really true?

Today you can make a difference. You can reach out and see how that quiet friend is doing. You can bury your pride and check in on a relative. You can welcome rest and grace into all your relationships, including with yourself.

How can we live with such assurance of our purpose? Because we know that God made us for a reason. While things don’t always make sense, God has a greater plan, and will use our gifts for His glory. The little things you do each day will add up, and looking back, you’ll realize how many people you’ve helped.

But the best part is, the more you accept God’s love for you, the more that love will extend to others. That’s the most beautiful thing of all. ❤

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

1 John 4:7-8

Staying Grounded in a Shaky World

Is your mind often consumed by anxious thoughts?

There are days when everything feels up in the air. Your career, your relationships, your faith even. It can feel hopeless, as though you’re stuck in a swirling sea of uncertainty.

The wisest bits of wisdom often come from children, even if they are unaware of what they are truly saying. Last night, I asked a preschool child what she is most afraid of, and her answer resonated most with the adults in the room.

She replied, “I am afraid when there is something new because I don’t know what will happen.”

She hit on the exact mark of why we are so often afraid: Because we don’t know what’s out there.

Another kid added, “I don’t think we’re afraid of the dark itself; we’re afraid of what’s in the dark that could hurt us.”

We are afraid of what could be.

According to Medline Plus, anxiety is characterized by feelings of fear, dread, or uneasiness. That impending doom lurking before us when we forget that God has an even bigger plan for our lives and won’t leave us behind.

But even with God’s help, we know that pain is just a part of life. We will certainly experience it before our time comes. So how can we stay grounded when anxiety consumes our thoughts?

There are a few simple actions I have found helpful when experiencing fear for the future. I’ll call them the three G’s.

Gratitude

Writing down a list of ten things that you are thankful for each day can help remind you that while bad things do happen, so do wonderful things. It can remind you that God has taken care of you and will bring you through this new season too.

Another gratitude related activity that I love is writing down something that you are thankful for related to your senses. For example, this morning I wrote that I’m thankful to feel my dog’s fur, see the beautiful sunshine, and taste fresh baked bread.

Keeping in touch with your surroundings is key. When you feel overwhelmed in a chaotic atmosphere, it can be relieving to start listing out what is close to you and focusing on the little details.

Growth

Keeping a journal of where you are at through different stages of your life is an excellent way to remember how far you’ve come. After a year, or even a shorter time than that, it can be encouraging to reflect on how God has helped you grow. Often, God uses our fear and lack of control over the future to help us trust Him more and more throughout our lives. It’s incredibly beautiful to see.

Grace

Have grace for yourself when feelings of fear rise up within you. You are not a failure for feeling that way.

In the end, we shouldn’t beat ourselves up over our fears. Yes, God told us not to fear countless times in the Bible. But God also knows us and the situations He has planned for us. That means God knows that we will ultimately have moments of fear, and that doesn’t make Him love us any less.

Rather, God wants us to use those moments as opportunities to develop an even richer, deeper faith in Him.

They say you can’t be brave without having fear, because if you weren’t afraid of anything, then nothing is a risk for you.

The same goes for faith. If you don’t have any fear, then you have no reason to trust God.

Today, have grace for yourself, even when you feel yourself slipping. Instead of focusing on what you are disappointed about, remember that each day that you follow Jesus, you are becoming more and more like Him.

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.

Romans 8:14-16

Discerning Voices

Do you ever feel troubled by voices that discourage you?

It’s late at night. You had a decent day before, nothing to worry too much about. But suddenly, it hits you. That one phrase that came out too fast, that one awkward moment, that one cause for slight concern.

And it haunts you for the rest of the night, maybe even trickling into the days that follow.

I thought of the idea for this post around 5 a.m. last night, as I lay awake in bed thinking about when I overshared during a meeting yesterday. At least, I thought I overshared. Nothing really indicated that I did, apart from one slight twinge of fear during the meeting. But the rest of the meeting was encouraging, uplifting, and hopeful.

So why focus on that one moment?

Well…that’s a good question that we all ask ourselves when we feel like we’re spiraling. Should we listen to the voice that tells us we aren’t good enough, or that we’re just an embarrassment? Is that the voice of God?

One of the hardest things about listening to God is knowing what God’s voice even sounds like. There are too many voices in our heads to discern sometimes. Even when we know a voice doesn’t sound like God, the words linger in our minds, affecting our actions and images of ourselves.

So what can we do about this? Live forever in fear of listening to the wrong voice? Allow negative voices to keep us from living to our fullest potential?

I think not!

Instead, we need to be prepared for the next time we hear something. We need to know what God would and wouldn’t say.

Based on what we know to be true of God’s character, here are a few things I think about when trying to decide whether or not the voice I hear is God’s.

God’s Voice Will Always:

  • Affirm God’s love for you, even if He’s helping you grow or learn from a mistake
  • Ask you to trust Him rather than fear
  • Focus on what can be done, rather than something out of your control
  • Remind you that you are God’s creation, precious and sacred in His eyes
  • Make you feel motivated to become who you are meant to be, even if that change is hard
  • Show you that you are not alone

God’s Voice Will Never:

  • Make you feel worthless
  • Deny a biblical principal, especially Jesus’ example or sacrifice
  • Put something before God or His love for you
  • Make you feel ashamed
  • Refuse a second chance for forgiveness or a fresh start
  • Tell you to hurt someone else or do something that God wouldn’t do
  • Affirm something in you that goes against God’s will or ways
  • Make you feel like anything about you cannot be redeemed through God’s grace

I’m sure you could look through your Bible and think of even more examples–in fact, I encourage you to do so! The best way to know what God wants for us is to figure out what the Bible says about God’s character.

I believe that we both can stand up against the lies of the enemy. The lies that want to bring us down can be used by God to strengthen us instead.

You are needed. You are loved. You are more than any mistake, any embarrassing moment, any moment of guilt. God will take who you are at this very moment and transform you into the person you are meant to be. All you need to do is let Him.

Very truly I tell you, a time is coming and has now come when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God and those who hear will live.

John 5:25

Reactions Versus Reality

Do negative reactions cause you to doubt your purpose?

The perfect gift: a little heart-shaped box filled with colorful paper strips of personalized compliments. I had worked so hard on it and I was so excited to give it to my friend. I was a little nervous to see this friend’s reaction, but I just knew it had to be encouraging.

But when I handed it to him, all I got was a “thanks” before the box was chucked into the back of the car and never to be spoken of again. Afterwards, I wondered if my act of kindness wasn’t really so kind? Perhaps I was in the wrong for thinking I could be encouraging.

Years later, as chuckle ruefully at the memory, I am reminded of how important it is to not allow others’ reactions remake reality.

When we do a kind act, but we are not appreciated for it, we are less inclined to go the extra mile in the future. When we wear something that makes us feel special, but someone teases us, we aren’t encouraged to express ourselves. When we choose to reach out to a lonely person, but that person doesn’t respond the way we intended, we regret our brave choice.

But that doesn’t make any of those actions bad or wrong. It doesn’t mean we should regret helping others or being true to ourselves.

It just means that people’s reactions shouldn’t dictate the way we live our lives.

Think about someone who inspires you. Someone who is kind, even on an off-day. Someone who forgives and is willing to move on. Someone who uses their talents to bring hope and light into the world.

What if that person let one negative reaction stop them from caring? What if that person chose to follow the crowd instead of shine their light?

Well, you know personally that the world would be far less beautiful without their gifts.

You are just as capable of making a difference as the people you admire. But we are all susceptible to being torn down by negative reactions.

So how can we combat discouragement?

By following a different guidebook for life. And I think you know which guidebook I’m talking about!

When we follow God’s calling on our lives (through reading the Bible, the best guidebook there is), we are able to live without regret. Even if people laugh at us, don’t understand us, or pretend like we don’t matter, we will know that our presence and our faithfulness is making a difference.

Today, I hope that you can rest assured that every single kind thing you do matters. Every smile, every check-in, every time you do something extra. It all matters, both to God and to greater humanity, whether you realize it or not.

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

1 Peter 5:10