Tag: Advice

Running the Right Race

With all the terrible things in our world, it can be easy to lose hope. Here is some encouragement when running the race called “life”.

My dog, Rocky, is something else, let me tell you! I’ve only had him a little over a year, yet I could fill a book with stories about him. From the time he broke into the bathroom to get to my aunt (who happened to be showering and thought he was a murderer…and who hasn’t stayed with us since) to yesterday’s shenanigans of ripping open a new tissue box and taking large chomps out of each tissue, he’s quite the character. He’s got boundless energy…unless he’s napping, in which he would prefer to not be disturbed 🙂

Recently, he’s figured out where our house is in perspective to the other parts of the neighborhood. Take him anywhere, and he can lead you home. In fact, if you try taking him anywhere, he will lead you home. Apparently he believes once around the block is enough exercise for him.

Today, as we were turning the corner and our house was in view, his little legs stretched out as he fast-walked. His tail was in the air, his tongue hanging out, and his eyes fixed on the prize: home. I called out his name a few times, but nothing could distract him. He knew where he was going and nothing could get in his way.

The apostle Paul compares our lives to a race. In multiple letters, he commands us to “run the good race” by following God’s truth, exercising self-control, and most of all, fixing our eyes on the prize. And that prize is eternal, nothing we can even comprehend down here.

It’s easy to get distracted from the prize, life with God, when we are in the world, doing the day-to-day things. Our anxieties, relationships, and work can make us forget that there is more to us than this life. We can feel bogged down by the weight of this world when we see our climate declining, families in desperate situations, and people being discriminated against.

It’s important to fight for justice and help those in need. In fact, Jesus commands us to do just that. However, when it feels like nothing will get better, we must remember that this world is only temporary. We can only do the best we can, and then we have to trust that Jesus knows what He’s doing.

God can seem cruel by allowing evil to take place in the world. But He knows the future. He knows that while there are certainly present suffering, it is nothing in comparison to the wonderful things He has in store for us. We must not blame Him for the bad things that happen, and instead focus on what good He may be bringing from it.

We just have to keep running the good race and remember that God is in control. I believe in you. Don’t give up.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

2 Timothy 4:7

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Hebrews 12:1

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

James 1:12

10 Reasons to Stay

Are you struggling to understand why you’re still here? This is a reminder that you are so deeply loved. Here are ten reasons why you should stay simply for you.

When someone is struggling to understand their place here, their reason for existence, people often shame them. They say, “How can you think of leaving me? How can you do that to your family? That’s so selfish!” They provide countless reasons to stay, yet these reasons often come from a place of selfishness from the person being left behind, because they are struggling to cling onto a person they love and need. But today, I am sharing 10 different reasons to stay. Not because of what your absence will do to other people, but because of what you will miss if you leave.

1. Your purpose hasn’t been fulfilled yet

God pursues us until our very last breath. He uses every situation we’re in to make a difference, even in hospital rooms, lonely cars, broken relationships, and wounded hearts. God takes us when He’s ready, not when we are necessarily. That’s scary, but it’s for the best. It means that God has a plan for us up until His end.

2. You will fall in love someday

You may be feeling hopeless after a heartbreak or a person you love leaving. But I guarantee that you will fall in love again. That rapid, heart-pounding sensation that leaves a smile on your face, a twinkle in your eyes, and an airiness to your steps. Maybe it won’t be with a person. Perhaps it will be with a hobby, or a place, or with a new pet. But I promise that you will love again.

3. There are places you haven’t seen yet

Perhaps you are feeling stuck, whether it be physically in your hometown or in a career, relationship, or stage of life. But you will not remain there forever. You will grow and blossom into who you’re meant to be. You will leave a place in wonder, in awe of all that God is capable of. Just keep your eyes open to the possibility that there is more than what’s on the surface.

4. There are foods you haven’t eaten yet

Yes, this might seem trivial, but come on, good food is good food, am I right? Close your eyes and allow yourself to taste the best food you’ve ever had. Perhaps it’s a moist, rich piece of chocolate cake. Maybe it’s slippery, smooth noodles. Or the crunchy freshness of a summer salad. Perhaps you have yet to find your favorite food!

5. There are people you haven’t met yet

You may feel like no one sees you, loves you, or cares about you. Maybe you feel like a burden. But trust me, you are not. You maybe just haven’t found the right people yet. But you will. There are 7.9 billion people on Earth, and you can’t tell me you’ve talked to all of them and they’ve all rejected you, even if your mind lies to you and says that.

There are people out there who will love you just the way you are. They will sit with you and listen to you. They will make you laugh and think your jokes are funny too. They will care so deeply about you.

6. You will miss out on all that nature has to offer

Think about the beautiful sunsets you’ve seen. The swirl of tangerine orange, scarlet red, and navy blue. The puffy cotton-candy clouds painted across the sky. Or how about the sound of a trickling stream or the roar of a mighty waterfall? The soft fur of a kitten and the sloppy kiss from a puppy’s tongue. Sitting beneath a dark canvas, illuminated by bright, sparkling stars. Sticking your head out the window and allowing the cool breeze flow through your hair and nip at your cheeks. Bring yourself back to the place that fills your heart with peace.

7. You won’t know how strong you are until at the end of the battle

At times, I have struggled to understand why I’m here. But the truth is, we underestimate our strength. But it’s the most beautiful thing, looking back at the end of the battle, and seeing how far we’ve come. It’s the best feeling, a feeling that lifts us off our feet and makes us feel ten times as powerful. I don’t want you to miss out on that feeling.

8. God loves you

God didn’t create you by accident or put you in the situation you’re in because He didn’t have anything better to do. He didn’t give you the parents you have because He wanted to burden them. He didn’t give you your friends so that you can annoy them. Because the truth is, you don’t. You may feel like you do, but beneath what they may show you, they truly love you. God gave them you because He knew that you could make a positive difference in their lives.

God isn’t disappointed in you for feeling the way you do. How do I know this? Because no matter what you do or how you feel, His love covers it all. But He wants you to realize that through your weaknesses, His strength can be revealed.

9. I care about you

This is not to guilt you in any way. You don’t have to stay for me, but remember that there is someone who cares. You may think, “Oh she doesn’t know me.” And maybe I don’t. Maybe you’re sitting in a ball on the floor in the dark, a stray tear slipping down your cheek as you contemplate life. Maybe you are sighing in exhaustion after a long day of work and this article is your only escape. Maybe you’re sitting in your car, the light of your phone illuminating your face, a face that’s seen tearful goodbyes, angry authority figures, and words that have broken your heart.

Or maybe you aren’t experiencing any of those things, and that’s okay. Regardless of if we’ve met, spoken, or you don’t even know what I look like, I care about you. I care about you because you have been created by God, chosen and adored. Because I love God, I love you. When we love someone, what matters to them matters to us. You matter to me.

10. For some reason, God wanted you to read this

There’s a reason the title drew you in. There’s a reason you may have subscribed to my blog or clicked on the link. Something called you to it. It has nothing to do with me. It’s all God. God is sending you a message through this, revealing His love to you, and perhaps He’s given you even more reason to stay.

We don’t talk about mental health enough. We just don’t. It’s often seen as taboo or a point of disagreement, especially among Christians. But what are we doing? What are we accomplishing this way? Certainly not making people feel wanted or needed.

I don’t think it’s selfish to want to leave. I don’t. You might disagree with me, and that’s okay. But one of the first things I heard after a classmate died was that they were selfish for leaving their family and friends. For taking the “easy way”.

But I don’t think there’s anything “easy” about struggling to understand your purpose. I don’t think there’s anything “easy” about feeling like a burden. I don’t think there’s anything “easy” about having a brain that constantly replays the enemy’s lies to you.

Mental illness is exactly what the name suggests, an illness. And it should be treated like cancer or heart disease. We shouldn’t stop fighting for the people who suffer with it, or for ourselves, if we do. We should pray for healing, because God has the power to heal anything. But most of all, we should come around whoever is struggling and remind them that they are loved no matter what they are going through.

If that’s you today, I want you to know that I love you. I want you to know that God loves you, way more than I do. And even though each day may feel exhausting, you can make it through. I am proud of you for being here. For every breath you breathe, you can and are making a difference. ❤

But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.

Psalm 5:11

Turn, Lord, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love.

Psalm 6:4

Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 23:6

Jesus called his twelve disciples to him and gave them authority to drive out impure spirits and to heal every disease and sickness.

Matthew 10:1

Is This Person Right for Me?

Have you met someone you really like, but you aren’t sure if they’re meant for you? Or maybe you had a person in your life that you wish you could get back? Here’s some advice that will hopefully encourage you.

I don’t believe in “right person, wrong time”. I understand the idea. Sometimes, we meet someone who we think is super great, and then things don’t work out. We want to blame anything we can. They weren’t understanding, we weren’t attractive enough, the timing was off. If it had only been different circumstances…

But no, I can’t and won’t believe that. I believe with my entire heart that God places the people in our life at the time when we need them or they need us. Often, it’s mutual benefit, even if we can’t see it at the time. God knows what He’s doing. He’s got a bigger plan, even when we can’t make sense of it.

The thing we don’t want to admit is that this person that we cared so much about wasn’t meant to be in our lives. We may have invested so much into the relationship, whether emotionally or otherwise, and now it’s all gone. But nothing is put to waste, even painful things. Often, those painful things are what bring us closer to God and teach us the valuable lessons we needed to learn before meeting the “right” person.

Speaking of the right person, you may be wondering if the person in your life right now is the person you’re meant to be with. It’s tough to know that for sure, but there are a few things you should look out for before pursuing a relationship with them. If these things apply and you believe God wants you together, then you should go for it! Who knows, you could end up making the second best (after starting a relationship with Jesus, of course 🙂 ) decision of your life!

  1. They love God more than anything else

This one’s a little hard to wrap our heads around. They have to love someone more than us?! But yes, just one other person, or rather, being. If they put God first in their life, then they will make decisions that best help both of you. You will see them grow into an even better person. And their faith and dedication will inspire you. Speaking of which…

2. They help you grow in your faith

This one is just as important. It’s wonderful for the two of you to grow together in your faith. Perhaps you are at different stages, and that’s okay. The most important thing is that you help each other on your faith journey. That can look different for different people. For some, it might be going to church or doing a Bible study together. Maybe you text encouraging verses to each other and discuss what God’s doing in your lives on a regular basis. Whatever it is, they encourage you and strengthen your faith.

3. They pass the “coffee filter” test

You might be confused on this one, and that’s okay. I recently heard of this concept from a mentor in my life who was sharing how she had to do the “coffee filter” test on her husband before they got married.

Let’s be honest, you both will not agree on everything. If you do, then you are not being honest with each other. It’s totally fine, and good actually, to have differences. It makes life interesting and helps you both learn about other perspectives. But there are always a few things that cannot be tolerated, and it’s important to distinguish between the “not preferred” versus the “cannot tolerate”.

When you use a coffee filter, you see how some things can slip through while others are too big and stay at the top. The things that slip through are the differences or slightly annoying characteristics of the other person that you can live with. Maybe these quirks are helping you grow…in patience :). But then there are some no-goes, the things that are too big to ignore or tolerate. If the person cannot change in those areas or you think it would hurt who that person is to change, then they may not be the one for you.

4. They encourage you

I mentioned encouragement in the faith area, but encouragement in other areas of life is important too. Encouragement looks different for different people. Personally, I enjoy personalized compliments and spending quality time together. For others, it might be gifts, exciting adventures, or even just a fresh cup of coffee in the morning.

When someone is a good encourager, it means they care enough to see what encourages you personally. They may not get things right every time, but when you are around them, you feel like the best version of yourself.

5. They help you pursue God’s calling

This one can get tough, because when we care a lot about someone, we only want the best for them. But our best doesn’t always line up with God’s best, and we can often forget that God’s version of “best” is better than ours.

When you have a calling and you know it’s from God, your significant other should encourage you to pursue it and understand why you feel passionately about it. Of course, this doesn’t mean they have to automatically jump up and want to join you, but it does mean they respect your decision and want you to do whatever God leads you to do.

I hope that this advice helps you! This topic means a lot to me personally for many reasons. I grew up in a home where my parents were unequally yoked (one was Christian and the other wasn’t). In some ways, it strengthened my faith because it had to be my own. But in other ways, it deeply saddened me as I had to keep the biggest part of my life to myself when around one of my parents. They also couldn’t connect on the spiritual level nor had the same priorities, which made life less pleasant for them.

I’ve also experienced the feeling of “right person, wrong time”. I really thought this person was the one, and then he wasn’t. That broke my heart, but over time, I’ve realized that God has better things in store for me. It’s taken me a year to figure that out, and I want to help you if you are in the broken hearted stage right now.

A friend once told me, “I’m confident that you will end up with a really good, godly person. And I’m not confident about most things!”

That really encouraged me. As for you, I believe the same thing. If you listen to God and follow His lead, you will end up with just the right person.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 

Ephesians 4:2

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:8

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. 

1 John 4:18-19

Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. 

Romans 13:8

In For a Dollar

What keeps you from having a deep relationship with God?

At the end of every speech, Christian writer Max Lucado tests his audience by offering a dollar bill to anyone who wants it. Usually, he’s met by silence, a confused crowd. After a little while, one nervous or daring audience member stands up and claims it.

He concluded that there are a few reasons why people don’t race each other to the stage. First, for simply a dollar, it might not seem worth the humiliation of going up there. Second, they may think someone else needs the dollar more than them. And third, they may think it’s a trick.

Lucado compares this example to salvation. There’s nothing we can do to earn God’s forgiveness, it’s simply there for us. We may not believe it will benefit our life, even though it certainly will. We may think others need it more than we do.

I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s two things separating us from God: fear and pride.

Fear tells us that salvation isn’t “really” free. It makes us doubt God and His plan, and even His existence. It causes us to hide our beliefs or ignore our convictions.

Pride makes us think we don’t need God. We allow self-sufficiency take the place of our need of our rescuer–God. We do whatever we can to avoid humiliation.

In order to have a deep and honest relationship with God, we need to trade our fear and pride in for two things: trust and humility. When we trust God, we are willing to do whatever He asks us to, even if the world thinks it’s strange. When we are humble, we allow the Holy Spirit to work within us by showing us where we need to grow and allowing us to demonstrate God’s love to everyone in our path.

We can be confident without being prideful by remembering we are made in God’s image and everything we have comes from Him. We can be logical without being fearful, by taking necessary precautions to be safe while not allowing them to come between us and God’s call.

Sometimes it feels like a long, endless journey towards becoming who God has created us to be. But don’t lose hope. Each day, by striving to know Him and become more like Him, you are growing. God is not wasting this season of learning. He’s shaping you into exactly the person you need to be.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Ephesians 4:2

But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

James 4:6

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?

Psalm 56:3-4

Don’t Explain Your Smile

Do you feel the need to explain away your joy? Here’s some encouragement!

How often do you find yourself smiling over the littlest thing? Maybe it’s an unexpected text from an old friend, or a dollar bill stuffed between the cushions of your couch. Perhaps you see two kids helping each other on a playground or an elderly couple walk hand-in-hand across the street. Or maybe you have no reason to explain your smile.

And then do you find yourself talking your way out of that smile? Perhaps you feel like you need to justify it. What if someone looks over and thinks you’re crazy for smiling in a world of brokenness, isolation, and violence? Not to mention all the pain within your own story.

Soon, that smile is wiped off your face, and instead you’re thinking about all the reasons you should be unhappy. I’ll smile when I get a raise, you think. Or maybe if that person I care about finally gets their act together.

Today at church, we talked about the word “behold”. To behold something means to relish in its presence, to be in awe of it. During the benediction, our pastor prayed that we would allow ourselves to behold God and allow His joy to fill our hearts, even when our minds are coming up with a hundred excuses why we shouldn’t smile.

I’m not going to deny that there are bad things in this world, things that need to be taken seriously, and shouldn’t be laughed at. However, when we smile, when we reveal the joy that’s inside of us, we are only making the world a brighter place. Our joy can never be shaken or taken away from us because our joy is found in Jesus, and He never leaves us.

I’ve worked through a series of gratitude journals, and all of them have asked me to make a list of things I’m grateful for. Though it would make sense to list the “big things” first, like having a warm house or a stable job, I usually think of the “little things” first. Watching the sun set across the sparkling ocean. Having a fun conversation with a new friend. Watching people laugh together, or better yet, laughing alongside them.

While the big things allow us to live, it’s the little things that allow us to live well. They are the constant reminders that God is watching over us, caring about our every need. They are what prompt us to hum in the shower or skip down the street. They are what make us smile.

Today, think about all the little things that made your day enjoyable. And let yourself smile, really smile, knowing that while things aren’t perfect, your hope and joy are found in the only One who is perfect–Jesus.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.

Philemon 1:7

The Thing We Fear Most: Rejection

Have people in the past made you feel worthless? Today I’ll share how to overcome rejection and where to find hope again.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately. I’m sure if I took a poll, most people would say they’d want to be reached out to or have people be real with them. Sometimes a simple call or even a “hello” can make a world of difference in someone’s life. Sometimes one vulnerable conversation can lead to a lasting relationship or a place of healing. Yet we often allow our fears to talk us out of being the one to reach out or start an honest conversation. And what do we fear, you might ask? Rejection.

The first thing that comes to mind when I see the word “rejection” is its prevalence in romantic relationships, when one person likes another, and the feelings aren’t reciprocated. While this is a big area where people lose confidence, it is not the only place where rejection seeps into our lives.

A person close to me was rejected by her parents and a step parent and spent much of her growing up years undervalued and treated as “second-rate” to her step-siblings. Through this trauma of not having a real, permanent home, nor trustworthy guardians, decades later, she is still experiencing the effects.

I recently was able to spend time with her and I saw how even the ones she considers close to her were really kept at a distance. It breaks my heart to see how the rejection she experienced as a child has caused her to avoid being rejected by family, friends, and partners in her adult years by not letting others in.

The worst part is, this fear continues to keep her from seeing her true worth. Her family and friends want to know her, the real her, not just the person hiding behind walls of generosity and strength. Yet past rejection has led her to believe that no one truly cares about her or wants to be around her when she’s herself.

It makes sense that we fear rejection. After all, what’s the best feeling in the world? Being loved and wanted. So of course the worst feeling in the world is being rejected.

And when we’re rejected, it’s not really as simple as “oh I just want to stay friends” or “I don’t need a kid around right now”; it’s really an attack on our identity. It’s saying we truly are as worthless as we feel sometimes. It’s our worst fear coming true: that being ourselves isn’t enough and there’s nothing we can do about it.

Though the obvious root of rejection comes from early experiences with it, such as in my previous examples, or when friends or others we admire dump us, there is an even deeper meaning behind our fear of rejection.

When we allow others to define us, we forget the only One whose opinion matters: God’s.

When we get bogged down by criticism or feeling ignored, we have to remember that our worth is found in God. When we look to people to decide how valuable we are, which we’ve all done I’m sure, then we are not believing that God’s word is true.

God says we are chosen, loved, worth so much, even death on a cross. And when we spend time with God, the One who loves us the most, and with people who show us God’s love, we will start feeling worthy again.

Moving on and letting go of people is hard. I recently read a story to some kids about how a hermit crab had to let go of his old friends and old shell once he outgrew them. It was really hard for him because he cared about them, yet he knew that was the only way he could survive.

Sometimes, we have to let go of people and things who don’t allow us to grow into the people God made us to be. If they don’t affirm God’s feelings toward us, then it might be time to move on. I know it’s so difficult, but I promise that once you embrace who God made you to be, you will start feeling worth loving again.

 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. 

Ephesians 1:4-6

Song Recommendation: Already Enough, by Fearless Soul: https://youtu.be/kFQ7qiqm6WA

Does God Love Me When I Don’t Feel Worthy?

Do you ever worry about God being disappointed when you don’t feel your best? Here’s some advice and encouragement!

Something that stuck with me one time was a remark someone said regarding self-worth. “It really must grieve God’s heart when we don’t see ourselves the way He sees us.”

When I first heard this, I was startled. But of course, isn’t God upset when we aren’t kind to ourselves? However, that only made me feel worse when I experienced self-doubt or self-criticism. On top of feeling worthless, I felt like I was angering God.

While God obviously wants us to see ourselves the way He sees us, I want to assure you that God still loves you when you don’t feel worthy. How am I so confident of this fact? Well, because Jesus says it pretty directly in a familiar parable.

In the parable of the prodigal son, the son had clear reasons for feeling unlovable. After all, he dishonored his father by demanding his inheritance before his father even had the chance to die, and then he wasted it all in a short period of time. He was stuck cleaning after pigs, the “dirtiest” animal by Jewish customs. That was the lowest of the low. He’d rather be a servant at his old home than make pig slop.

Imagine the humiliation of trying to re-enter a space where he was confident and arrogant after failing as miserably as he did. Yet he was willing to risk it in order to get a second chance.

Close your eyes for a moment and picture yourself at your lowest point. Feel the soft sand beneath your feet as you trudge up the hill to your home. There’s a weight on your shoulders, a weight that has only grown heavier as the mistakes pile up. Your clothes are torn and stinky. You’re drenched in mud. But a familiar scent of sweet flowers sends tingles down your back.

Open your eyes and squint–can it be? Your father, a ginormous smile on his face, running faster than any other elderly man has run before. He’s got no weapon in his hands, only open arms, ready to embrace you.

You stop dead in your tracks. Beads of sweat drip off your face and you lift a hand to swat them away. But before you get the chance, your father sweeps you into a giant hug, his familiar scent of sawdust comforting you.

After he steps away, you blunder through your speech, ending with, “I am no longer worthy to be called your child.”

That’s exactly what the prodigal son said, “I am no longer worthy to be called your son.” No longer worthy.

But how does the father respond? He doesn’t even answer that. He might chuckle, like, how could you possibly have thought that? Then he sends out his servants to prepare a feast to welcome you home.

What bigger act of love is there than combining all five love languages together? The father wanted to spend time with his son by racing to see him. He gave him a big hug and kiss. He gave him the gifts of service and presents by preparing this party and pampering him. And he proudly announced to the world that this is his son, who was “dead and has come alive again”. Not wasting time. Not humiliating the family. But dead, lost, missed.

We so easily believe the lie from the enemy that our feelings towards ourselves reflect how God and others see us. When we feel embarrassed, we are sure we can’t be used for good. When we fall into temptation, we believe we can never be forgiven. When we make a mistake, we think we are unlovable.

But God says otherwise. He doesn’t go off of feelings; He goes off facts. And the fact is, He loves us so much that He wants to welcome us home after every mistake, every self-doubt, and every stumble.

Today, if you’ve been feeling ashamed of yourself, remember how God sees you. He loves you so much and He’s ready for you to come home.

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

Luke 15:20

Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you.

Acts 13:38

Earning Grace

Do you struggle to comprehend the true meaning of grace? Here is some advice and encouragement.

I have yet to understand the purpose behind reading The Great Gatsby in high school. Although it was entertaining, I hardly remember any compelling themes or relatable topics in the book. The one thing I do remember, however, is an enlightening conversation we had regarding “new money” and “old money”.

New money is money earned by someone during their lifetime. They had to work for it. Old money is inherited money, passed down from generation to generation.

My teacher asked us, “Which seems more fair? New money or old money?”

We responded unanimously, “New money!” Even though it didn’t seem fair for either party to be filthy rich, at least with new money, it is well-deserved.

I’ve been trying to comprehend the meaning of grace over the past several weeks, and why we have such difficulty accepting God’s grace in our lives. Then I came to a profound realization while reading What’s So Amazing About Grace, by Philip Yancy. The reason we don’t understand grace is because it goes against what our society deems “fair”.

Think about it. Does it seem fair for one employee to work seven hours and get paid a hundred dollars while another works one hour and gets the same paycheck? No it doesn’t! In fact, it probably irritates us just thinking about this scenerio.

Yet Jesus gave that same example when explaining God’s generosity and grace to His disciples. Grace doesn’t make any sense. We can’t really make it make sense. When we do something wrong, we expect to have to make up for it. Of course God wants us to repent, but He doesn’t require us to do a certain number of good deeds to earn back His affection.

Let’s be honest: none of us deserve God’s grace. I don’t, you don’t, no one does. Yet we all are given this priceless gift simply because God loves us. We can’t do anything to earn God’s love. It’s simply there.

So what now? How can we show that we understand God’s grace in our daily lives?

Well, by extending that grace to others and to ourselves.

And I know that it’s hard. I struggle with it too. It means forgiving someone before they say sorry, letting go of past resentment even when it seems “too late”, having the self-control not to snap when someone pushes your buttons, not criticizing yourself over the littlest (or biggest) mistake.

But when we extend that kind of love through grace, we are finally showing others the true nature of Jesus. Sure, anyone can be kind, because it makes sense to be kind. Sure, anyone can be responsible, because responsibility pays off. Sure, anyone can be loyal, because there are consequences for being unfaithful. But can anyone be grace-filled? No, because grace doesn’t make sense.

Yet it is by grace that we are here. It is by grace that we are still breathing. It is by grace that we are saved and loved and chosen by Jesus.

And when you finally allow yourself to soak in the meaning behind those words and the verses that pour out Jesus’ love for us, you will begin to see your life change.

 He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.

2 Timothy 1:9

Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given.

John 1:16

When I stumbled,

I stumbled

not backward

but forward.

So that when I fell,

I fell into grace.

Morgan Harper Nichols

Too Late…Or Right on Time?

Do you feel like life is passing you by? Here’s hope for the times when you feel too late to make a difference.

Growing up, one of my biggest fears was being late. Late to school, late to appointments, late to practices. My stomach would churn, my heart would race, I would gag in the car on my way if I knew there was a chance I’d be late.

So often, we are afraid that things are too late. We think God’s answer to our prayer is too late. We’re too old to meet someone new. We’re too burned out to make a difference. We’ve been sick too long to be healed, and if we are healed, then why didn’t God heal us fast enough?

I think this stems from our society’s fear of being late. It started off as a sign of respect, being on time. That’s a good thing. It’s good and professional to be on time to meet. But now there’s this stigma around being late to life events. Oh, you don’t know what you’re going to do with your life by the time high school’s over? Too late! Oh, you aren’t married and you’re over thirty? Yikes. Oh, you haven’t gotten the job of your dreams by age forty? Guess you never will!

Besides how hurtful these assumptions are, and how they are completely WRONG, they also cause us to doubt God’s timing. And let me tell you something, God’s timing is never off.

I’ll never forget 10th grade, the year that completely changed my life and my relationship with God. I struggled with my mental health; I was really lonely. I thought my loneliness would be “cured” if I had someone to eat lunch with. I tried reaching out to different people, but after being rejected countless times, I stopped. Then, a few weeks before school got out, I realized a fellow classmate was also sitting all alone, and we were able to eat lunch together for the rest of the year.

I kept wondering why God didn’t allow us to connect until so close to the end of the year. I wouldn’t have had to suffer the rejection and humiliation of being all alone, I told God. But then, maybe I wouldn’t have realized how much I need God. I might not have had this burning passion to reach those who feel lost and alone, unseen and unheard. Though that year was tough, really tough, God used it to bring about longer lasting effects than if I’d gotten what I wanted right away.

Waiting often comes with pain, whether we’re waiting to be appreciated, loved, healed, or valued. But in the end, pushing through it is worth it. There have been many times when I’ve wanted to give up on things that God’s called me to do. His answers haven’t come “fast enough” or the reward for the action, whether it be a word of thanks or a renewed relationship, haven’t been given to me yet. But I’ve come to realize that God gives us those things right when we need them most. Not when we think we need them, but when we actually do.

And the best part is, those things that we think we have to wait for, we can find in God. He calls us chosen, loved, valued, seen. He loves us and wants us to come running to Him when we feel anything less than that.

Don’t give up hope. God is never late. He is right on time.

I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him.

Ephesians 3:16-21

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9

But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.

2 Peter 3:8

The “Unforgivable” Sin

We all have that one mistake that we doubt God can forgive. But through sharing a piece of my story, I hope I can encourage you and remind you that God will forgive anything you’ve done.
Trigger Warning: Suicide

We all have that one sin, that one mistake. The one that “doesn’t qualify” when Jesus says our sins are forgiven. Sometimes we hide it, ashamed. Other times we talk about it a lot, seeking validation from others. Yes, it is bad enough to still feel burdened by.

But when I tell you that your sins are forgiven by Jesus, I mean it with my whole heart. Even that one sin. Even that one mistake. Even if you never got the chance to say “I’m sorry”. Even if you think it’s too late.

Take this from a person who has spent the last two and a half years trying to forgive herself for the biggest mistake she’s ever made in her life.

When people look at me and my life, they might laugh at the idea of me committing an “unforgivable” sin. They might think, “Oh, she’s probably gossiped or lied or put something before God, nothing that serious.”

To be honest, it’s almost harder to be seen that way than as someone who is notorious for doing the “big bad sins”. (But, by the way, all sins come down to the same cost, Jesus’ death on the cross, making no sin “worse” or “better” than another). When you have the reputation as the “good Christian”, people are less inclined to believe you’ve suffered pain or separation from God.

It’s hard to admit and talk about what happened. I worry people won’t see it as a “big enough” deal. I wonder if they will see me differently. I don’t even know what sort of reaction I want from people.

But I’ve come to realize that everything happens in our lives to teach us something, perhaps lessons we are supposed to share with others. More importantly, they should bring us closer to God. And, though it’s taken time, this one certainly did. If my story helps someone else on their healing process, then it’s worth being vulnerable.

It was January. I met him three months before– the guy who changed my life. When we first met, I thought he was nice, perhaps overly friendly, but the longer I knew him, the more my discomfort grew. To say I knew him would be an overstatement. The truth is, I really only had a few interactions with him. I was scared of him, I think, and of what I believed his intentions were. Each interaction sent me into a spiral of hateful thoughts. They stemmed from a place of fear and insecurity. I should’ve said something, but I didn’t. Instead, I dreaded seeing him and allowed my feelings to consume me.

When I say hateful, I truly mean hateful. They were unlike anything I had ever felt before or since. These feelings burned inside my chest. I could barely look at him; I could only glare. I remember walking by myself and thinking, I wish he were dead.

The last time I saw him was around Christmas. We were in a packed gym, and he was playing spike ball with some friends. By this point, I had made it clear I wasn’t interested. The ball rolled over to me, and he came to get it. He started saying thank you, like he expected me to pick it up. Instead, I moved to the side and avoided looking at him. Yet he thanked me again, and we made eye contact. Then he turned away, and I never saw him again.

January 22nd, 2019. I found out in an email that he died by suicide.

I can’t even begin to describe the weight of guilt I felt. For a week, there was a pressing sensation on my shoulders and I had a constant headache. I didn’t cry because I didn’t know what I was grieving. After all, I barely knew him.

I learned more about him after he died than while he was alive. He was so different than the person I made him out to be in my head. In many ways, that made it all the worse.

It just so happened that a retreat was scheduled the following weekend. Throughout the retreat, I felt isolated, closed off from everyone else. No one reached out to me, perhaps because no one knew I was hurting. I took walks on my own and sobbed, crying out to God and asking Him why such a horrible person–me–could still be walking the earth. What good was I?

At the same time, I had lost several friends and felt incredibly alone. I wondered if this was some sort of punishment from God. Maybe this is why I’m alone, I thought, because I’m a terrible person.

On the last night, my youth pastor gathered us in a circle to pray for each other. Many shed tears as they relayed their current situations. Some recently lost grandparents, another’s father was dying of cancer, and several were dealing with anxiety.

My issues, loneliness and guilt, couldn’t compare to their problems. Why would God want to listen or help the girl who wished death upon His precious child? Or so I thought.

When it came to my turn, I could barely squeeze out my words. I finally whispered, “I just feel so lonely.”

To my surprise, several peers came around me and prayed. One prayer, which I’ll never forget, went something like this:

“Dear God, help Hannah see that she’s never alone and that no one is better or worse than her, but that we’re all equal.”

It was a very simple prayer, yet the weight on my shoulders was lifted. I felt lighter, more alive.

To say that solved all my problems or that it even caused me to believe that I was forgiven would be a lie. It has taken years to understand that God has forgiven me and that He can use me and that situation to help others. But it showed me that God cared, and continues to care and love us, even when we’re at our worst. When we feel unforgivable.

I don’t know what sort of “unforgivable sin” is burdening your heart. But I believe that God has already forgiven you and doesn’t want you to be bogged down by the past, but rather look forward with joy to what He has in store for you. It’s also okay if the healing process is taking longer than you thought or what others claim it should be. But you are healing, I can promise you that.

I also want you to know that if you feel unseen or unloved, I’m so sorry. But you are not unseen or unloved. You are treasured, adored, by the most powerful Being in the universe–Jesus. He loves you. He sacrificed everything for you. He wants you to know that you are so special and so needed and so, so dearly loved.

And if no one’s said this to you today, I love you. ❤️

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 1:9

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Colossians 3:13

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.

Ephesians 1:7

A wonderful song about God loving us at our worst, titled appropriately enough, Even at My Worst, by Blanca: https://youtu.be/qiD-UzbH5VA