Forward

I don’t know who needs to hear this but…

It’s okay to move forward. It’s okay to move on. It’s not mean.

If you needed to hear that, then someone probably came to mind. Perhaps an old friend, an ex, a person from your past that hurt you. But you were close, and you don’t want to let go.

Maybe everyone close to you has told you that you need to let go. That it would be the best thing for your mental health. That you deserve better.

And if you’re at the stage where you know that letting go is better for you, then you agree. You know that you are a child of God, born to love and to be loved back.

But something is stopping you. Something is in your path, denying you the chance to move on.

Perhaps you didn’t get the closure that you needed.

Let me tell you, I lived with the lie–that false belief that plagues our media obsessed society– that we have to get closure in order to move on. Then, literally a couple days ago, a post by a psychology expert changed my life.

To paraphrase, her post went something like this: I don’t know who gave you the idea that you have to get closure in order to move on. Maybe it was all those romance movies or books, the way the media likes to make us feel like we’re the anomaly…but the thing is, so many of us don’t get closure. And if we do, then we still have questions afterwards. There’s never going to be that moment that the other person makes for us where we suddenly lose that love and feel as free as a bird soaring through the sky. But the thing the media doesn’t tell us is that those movies are all fiction. Our lives are our own. We are the only ones who can give ourselves the freedom to move on and enjoy life again.

To add to that, from a Christian perspective, yes, we are the only ones who can bring closure. Except, we can’t do it alone. Jesus is there and He knows what it’s like to feel rejected, abandoned, and betrayed–by His own loved ones! His disciples! He does completely understand how we feel and He is the only one who will never leave us.

Here’s some tough love. You’re not going to get closure.

You’re not.

Not in the way you expect, anyway. Oh sure, you might have a good long talk. You might even part ways as the sun is setting behind the mountains as joyful tears fall from your face. But that’s never going to be enough.

The only way to feel fully content is to find your joy and satisfaction in Jesus. The only way to not be lonely is to surround yourself with God’s love, by praying continually and reading the Bible, not to mention staying in close contact with others who encourage and support you.

You might feel like a mean person for moving on, and I get that. I get all of these feelings.

But the thing is, you are making the choice to move on from this person because they hurt you. Because they weren’t good for you. Because you know deep down in your heart that the Holy Spirit (plus your best friends) told you that it’s time to let go.

So, if you feel like moving on means that you’re still in contact, but just not relying on them, then fine. If moving on means that you’re blocking them for your own sanity, then alright. If moving on means simply having that freeing feeling in your heart and not thinking about them anyone, then good.

Moving on isn’t the same for everyone. But ultimately it means that this person isn’t your whole world anymore. They aren’t going to be consuming your thoughts, bogging you down, or making you feel less than who God says you are.

Moving on means that you’re free. You can finally be who God created you to be without other people getting in the way of that.

I know it’s hard, but I also know you can do it.

Don’t give up.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that tis to be revealed to us.

Romans 8:18

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

Isaiah 26:3