The Freedom of Being Wrong

What if being wrong can bring us closer to God?

People hate being wrong.

I’m sure that’s pretty obvious, but the issue is that our society doesn’t seem to see this as a problem. Yet it is because our pride separates us from loving each other and God.

While we’d like to believe that no one can be wrong, the world wouldn’t work if that were true. There is only one who is always right, and that would be Jesus.

It’s to our benefit that Jesus is always right, especially because we are often wrong. Thanks to Jesus knowing best, we can live in peace and comfort because we are forgiven and taken care of. We can be reminded that we are loved and valued, even when others don’t treat us that way, because only Jesus’ opinion of us matters.

But yet our sinful desires often tell us that it would be better if we were right. Yet we don’t know the future. We don’t know the impact our decisions will make. We don’t know whether or not something will actually help us. We would be helpless without God’s help.

When we pretend like we are right all the time, we are harming three important relationships:

  1. Our relationship with God
  2. Our relationship with others
  3. Our relationship with ourselves

We act like we are above God (hint: we aren’t) when we pretend that we know more than He does. Like we, mere specks, could possibly have a better plan than the Creator of the Universe.

When we think we are always right, we never take ownership for our mistakes. That causes others to feel hurt and confused by our actions. We will quickly lose important relationships that way, and surely people won’t feel the love of God from us.

And when we believe we are always right, we give ourselves a false sense of security, when the truth is, we know very little. So when we finally recognize that we’ve made a mistake, we feel like failures, utterly useless and worthless.

But when we recognize that we are wrong sometimes, then when we do make a mistake, we can be proactive in repenting and be reminded that we don’t have to feel ashamed because we are covered in God’s grace.

So what’s the best way to handle this problem? Not picking out other people’s faults, but focusing on how to change your own outlook. Not living in shame, but praising God for the ways He is working within your life to make you the best person you can possibly be.

Remember, accepting being wrong is actually a gift. It frees you from having the expectation of always needing to be right.

You are loved and cherished no matter what ❤

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.

1 John 2:15-17

A Simple Prayer

Do you struggle with finding time for rest?

When I was young, I struggled with falling asleep. By struggled, I mean it was a serious battle every night to shut my fearful thoughts off long enough to close my eyes and let the heavy breathing set in.

As I’ve gotten older, this has improved, though I still struggle with falling asleep after a particularly stimulating day.

Perhaps you can relate to this particular problem, or on a broader scale, you have had trouble finding time to truly pause and rest. In our busy world, we are bombarded with demands and a million things to hold our attention.

But God promises us rest.

When I was young, I would ask my mom for help with falling asleep. She would launch into a lengthy prayer, listing off every possible person we might know who could use prayer. Sometimes, that would be enough to distract my thoughts to the point of falling asleep.

But now, I’ve gotten into the habit of refocusing my thoughts, rather than finding distraction, and centering them on God. A simple prayer, asking for rest, is all it takes to get that rest.

It may not come in the form you imagined. I have a friend who got sick and had to cancel her plans, which was very frustrating for her, but then it turned out she needed that week to rest up for the stressful month ahead.

Rest can come in many forms, such as:

  • God giving you the courage to set a boundary with someone
  • Cancelled plans
  • Having a barrier come up that opens up a chance to take a break
  • A few moments of quiet every night
  • Finding a listening ear in a friend you didn’t expect
  • Going out into nature to feel God’s presence
  • And many, many more! I would never want to limit God’s creativity.

Today, if you are feeling burned out, simply ask God for rest. Take this as a sign to take care of yourself, which is best done in nourishing your soul through rest and time with God. You are not weak for needing a break. ❤

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Matthew 11:28-29

Appreciating Each Other

A pressing reminder when we are tempted to take others for granted.

For many, a story is a story by the way everything gets wrapped up all nice and pretty, like a Christmas present. The characters are happy by the end, fully changed, incapable of any further harm. We are satisfied.

But in life, we don’t often get closure, do we? We say goodbye without even knowing it. We walk past someone for the last time without a second thought. We think we are friends until we’re not.

Recently, I’ve been reminded of the bitter truth that we never know how long we’re going to have with someone.

Why would God allow that?

Honestly, I don’t know. In the wake of a sudden loss, an unexpected diagnosis, and/or division among those once close, it can be hard to make sense of God’s greater plan within all of it.

My best guess is that we are more motivated to be kind and grateful to those in our lives when we remember that we aren’t in control of how long we’ll have them around.

In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis remarks that, by being made in the image of God, the next closest thing to be with God Himself is when we are among other humans. Now did that put a spin on the way I saw the people who annoy me!

We aren’t perfect and we shouldn’t beat ourselves up over being irritated at people or needing alone time. But we should always hold these things close to our hearts when we interact with people.

We really don’t know when the last time will be. We don’t know the full story. We just know that God has placed His creation in our lives for a time, and we can choose to be blessed by them.

Today, I challenge us both to look at the people in our lives with new appreciation. When was the last time you told your loved ones how much they mean to you? Have you seen the people in your life as a gift, rather than a burden?

Going further, to the people who you don’t agree with or rub you the wrong way, how can you still appreciate them? You might think you want them out of your life, and that time may come, but perhaps there is a reason why they are here now.

You are loved and treasured, no matter if others recognize it or not. If no one has taken the time to appreciate you today, I will. You are God’s special creation, designed for incredible things. It is not to late for you to heal and flourish. ❤

Therefore since we are God’s offspring, we should not think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone—an image made by human design and skill.

Acts 17:29

Exchanging Disappointment for Joy

Does disappointment cause you to doubt God’s purpose for your life?

This weekend, I was supposed to go on a retreat about finding God’s presence.

I was so ready for the retreat, too. Mostly just wanting an escape from the humdrum of normal life, burned out by my responsibilities, and eager for a change in scenery. Every day that I was tired or weary, I reminded myself that I’d have a break soon enough.

So then, when it got cancelled, I was puzzled by what God was doing. Surprisingly, I was less disappointed than I had anticipated, which may have been God’s clue that He still had plans for me this weekend.

The things I had longed for were inspiration, rest, appreciation for God’s creation, and connection with others.

And instead of bringing me to a conference center, God gave me inspiration through a movie night with family. He gave me rest by allowing me to have generous bosses who still let me have the weekend off. He gave me appreciation for His creation through the gorgeous sunset I experienced while driving home last night.

And most of all, God showed me how interwoven His presence is within our relationships with others.

I thought I had to take a break from people in order to experience God, but instead I spent all day yesterday going from one person to the next.

But the difference between that and my everyday encounters was that I went into those interactions with a willing heart. And that changed everything.

There is truly a season for everything. A season to reflect with God alone, and a season to extend the love God has given us to others. And maybe those two things can come together to create something even more beautiful.

Going broader than simply this weekend, I’ve been in a season where many of my expectations have been dashed. I’ve wondered where my dreams and desires fit into God’s greater plan for me. But this weekend, I’ve discovered something new.

It isn’t always about God’s plan or my plan or any sort of plan. It’s about taking things one step at a time and experiencing God’s presence through it all.

It’s about waiting for God with an open heart. It’s about connecting with others from a place of love and appreciation, as well as setting boundaries when we know we are agreeing to things out of obligation. It’s about opening the Bible without expecting a new game plan, and rather soaking in time with God.

Today, I hope you can exchange your disappointment for joy.

Things may not look the way you had hoped, but this is an opportunity for you to trust God more than ever. He will be with you through it all. ❤

 I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.

Luke 24:49

When It Feels Like God Can’t Hear You

Encouragement for when your prayers feel useless.

Silence.

You prayed and you begged and you wept until your eyes were puffy and your throat was sore.

Or maybe it was all in your head. Pounding words, pleading for a break, for a second chance, for a sign. Praying until your head ached, overloaded and overwhelmed.

Perhaps it was a simple prayer. Off-handed, just to see if God’s up there, somewhere.

No answer.

Things didn’t work out, you didn’t get a sign, and your life sucks just as much as it did yesterday.

Maybe…God didn’t hear you.

Or maybe God just doesn’t care.

That’s what the enemy likes to tell us, anyway. That God is incapable of something like listen or respond. But God hears every single prayer.

Maybe that makes it worse. Maybe knowing that God hears every prayer and things still aren’t working out causes your heart to grow heavy. Why would a God who cares allow your life to be ruined?

I have a new question for you: What if your life isn’t ruined?

As humans, we love filling in gaps, guessing what happens next. We plan our lives out to the end, expecting–or at least hoping–for things to go our way. And with God on our side, what could go wrong?

So many times in my life, I’ve felt God leading me towards a new path to take, and I expected God’s blessing to come in the form of everything working out the way I anticipated.

And then things didn’t work out. Relationships fell apart, mistakes were made, and hearts were broken.

Where was God in all of that?

Right there. Right next to me, just like God’s right next to you.

It is through these moments that I’m reminded of a hard truth.

Sometimes, God leads us into situations that are difficult. Just because a situation is difficult, doesn’t mean that God didn’t direct us there.

But we can find peace knowing that God won’t take us through those seasons without a purpose. To help us grow, to spread His light, and ultimately to bring us closer to Him.

So what is the point of praying if God has His own way of working everything out?

Prayer is more than asking God for things or trying to make a situation turn out a certain way. Prayer is a way of showing God that we trust Him through everything, no matter the outcome.

Prayer is our way of connecting to God.

Just let that sink in a moment. We have the opportunity to talk to the Divine, and we often allow momentary disappointment take away from the surreality of the truth.

God wants to talk to us. Yes, God also listens, and He hears every prayer. But going into prayer time with the mindset that God has something to say to you will change everything.

The next time you feel like God isn’t listening to you, ask God to show you what He wants you to get out of the circumstance you’re in.

Maybe He wants to grant you His overwhelming peace and comfort. Maybe He’s showing you how strong you are when you trust Him. Or maybe you are going through this in order to get to an even greater result.

Never underestimate the power of God.

But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.

Exodus 9:16

Promises to Remember

For the hard days ❤

Today’s just been one of those days. The kind that wraps you up in its stickiness until you feel like you’re suffocating, barely able to remember days when you felt free. When you felt fully alive.

On days like today, it’s important to remember that this will not last forever.

You may feel stuck, as if nothing could get better. But you aren’t stuck. You are growing, right where you are. And that’s a beautiful thing.

Think back to the last time you felt this way. Perhaps not yesterday, but maybe a year ago, or even five years ago.

You may not have thought you could make it to today, but you did. And I’m so glad you did.

When it feels like nothing is going right, hold onto the promises of God.

He will never leave you, nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6).

Even if everyone else walks away, you will never be alone.

You as precious and perfect in His sight (1 Corinthians 1:8).

A bad test score, a discouraging word, or even a painful mistake can’t separate you from God’s love.

He will use you to do amazing things for the greater good (Romans 8:28).

Your life matters. You were created for a reason. Even if the small things you do each day don’t feel significant, they truly mean the world to someone else. Most of all, God sees you and honors the way you choose to listen to Him.

So today may have been just a rotten, nasty, terrible day. Or maybe it was a day when you fully embraced God’s promises and felt lifted up.

Either way, there will always be tomorrow. Another chance for God’s grace. Another opportunity to make someone smile. Another day that God loves you and wants you to really believe it.

You belong here. Never forget that. ❤

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

Don’t Be a Mean Enemy

Why should we listen to Jesus’ commandment to love our enemies?

It’s easy to be nice to people who are nice to us.

But every enemy was once a friend, or at least in a proximity close enough to you to have hurt on either side from the falling out.

I’m sure you’ve seen this most often when a couple breaks up and starts posting nasty things about each other online. Soon, you begin to wonder what they even saw in each other in the first place! Or when two close friends or family members break ties, then it’s as though you can’t speak of them again.

So what happens when it isn’t so easy to be nice anymore?

Our culture would tell us to get them back or, at the very least, snub them. They need to PAY for what they did!

But I’d like to offer a new piece of advice, or really a not-so-new piece of advice that Jesus first gave that goes against our human nature.

Let’s love our enemies and pray for those who hurt us (Matthew 5:43-44).

But why? Why should we listen to such a hard commandment?

Here are a few reasons that help me when I struggle (which is often) with being kind to difficult (and even hurtful) people in my life.

We don’t know what’s going on for real.

When we are angry at someone, it’s easy to assume the worst. But the truth is, a lot of times falling outs or unkind words aren’t really about us. They are about something else that is fogging up the other person’s vision that could be hurting them or making them lash out. This isn’t an excuse for mean behavior, but it does remind us to extend them grace.

We may have a part to play in the situation.

Now, this certainly isn’t to victim blame. There are many times when we are hurt by someone who is trying to execute power over us and it isn’t our fault when we are wounded by them.

This advice is for when you don’t want to take responsibility for a difficult relationship even though you may not have been the easiest person either. We enjoy blaming others when we know deep down that there’s something in us that needs fixing too.

But the best path to healing is forgiveness. Having enough grace and humility to admit our mistakes and not let them define us, and also extending that mercy to others.

We have been forgiven for far more than we could ever forgive someone else.

It’s important to remember who is telling us to love our enemies: Jesus. Every time we sin, we hurt Jesus, acting like an enemy to Him.

But Jesus loves us anyway and paid the ultimate price to be in relationship with us. He knows what it’s like to forgive something so painful, a true betrayal, and still love anyway.

Whenever we get the chance to forgive someone, it’s an opportunity to grow closer to Jesus and feel grateful for His sacrifice.

We look rather ridiculous holding a grudge.

Sorry to be direct, but it’s true, isn’t it? We all roll our eyes when someone goes on and on about their issues with someone, and yet we are just as inclined to act the same way. I know I have, and likely will again in the future.

But there’s always time for a fresh start. Even just the effort of being more considerate with your words and actions towards someone you don’t like will make it harder to be unkind to them in the future. Allow yourself to process the pain and anger without acting in impulse.

Then you’ll never have a regret, and you just might find yourself with a friend again 🙂

But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

Luke 6:27-28

Humble Beginnings

Sometimes it takes getting small before we feel God’s presence.

In a self-focused society, we often forget what it means to be humble. And honestly, it’s quite difficult to be humble when we feel like we’re our only advocate and we must promote ourselves at every given opportunity.

But today I was given the opportunity to remember how important it is to stay small, to remember how fragile things truly are.

This reminder came to me at the horse riding barn where I help out. Before each ride, we let the horses run around the arena to get their playfulness and disobedience out before a rider gets on. Then, to see if they’ve calmed down, we call them in and see if they will come to us and follow us to the gate.

Twice today, I had to get small, bending close the floor, before the horses would respond to me. They don’t know if they can trust you until you prove you have their best interest in mind. That you won’t hurt them, it’s okay.

Only when I got small would the horse come to me.

This can be reflective in our relationship with God, too.

When we are feeling like the best person in the world, we forget that we need God. We have to get small in order to really feel God’s presence.

And when we are honest about our fragility, how nothing is really in our control, then we have the chance to truly trust God.

We can pretend all we want that things will go the way we imagine. We can act like we have complete control over everything.

But we don’t.

And the sooner we admit that, the sooner we can have peace about the future.

Being humble doesn’t mean denying your talents, it means using them for God’s purposes rather than your own. It means that you won’t take every opportunity you can to remind others of what you know. And most of all, it means recognizing your need for God.

Today, dare to get small. Dare to accept that God does have an amazing plan for you, but you need to trust Him first. You can’t do this on your own, and that’s okay.

You have an advocate, the greatest one of all: God. And that’s a real game-changer.

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.

James 4:10

Don’t Be Upset When God Gives You What You Asked For

What if I told you that God answers all your prayers, just not in the way you expect?

I’ve heard so many stories of Christians leaving their faith because God “didn’t come through for them”. God didn’t give them the person, the opportunity, or the emotion they were hoping for. God was too late.

And why have Christians been set up to believe that God will give them what they want? Because the Bible says so!

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

Matthew 7:7

Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.

John 14:13-14

The list could go on and on. Yet we don’t always get what we ask for, do we?

Often, we try to use logic to explain away the disappointment. God can’t possibly give everyone what they want, right? What about prayers that contradict each other or those that come from evil intentions?

While those remarks are reasonable, they also place a limit on God’s power. God could make it all work, if that was how things should be.

I believe that God does give us what we ask for. But there are two qualifications that we often forget about when things don’t work out the way we planned.

The first comes from other verses regarding God’s answers to our prayers.

If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

John 15:7

Often, we forget about our end of the bargain. We need to want what God wants in order for our requests to be granted. When we align our will with God’s, we will never be disappointed.

God will give us a starting point towards the end goal, but we need to actively participate in this relationship too. It’s like a scholarship for college. An organization believes in you and will fund your way, but you need to do the actual work of obtaining the degree.

God gives you the means, but you have the free will to decide if you will use those gifts to become the person you were created to be, the best version of yourself, or let those blessings slip away.

The second thing to think about is that God does answer every prayer, but He never promises to answer them in the way we thought He would.

Imagine that you are asking to grow in patience. Don’t be surprised if that means you will find yourself surrounded by people who push your buttons. Of course, you didn’t ask God to give you annoying people, but you will certainly grow in patience after the experience.

Or consider the noble prayer of asking for greater trust in God. You will likely be pushed out of your comfort zone with the only option to either trust God or bail off the ship. That may not be pleasant, but you certainly won’t be the same afterwards.

Even prayers like asking God for a loving marriage partner or a career that makes a difference can result in seasons of waiting or humbling jobs that will prepare you for the person or opportunity you desire.

God will give you what you need, but He wants you to be equipped first.

I believe that God answers every prayer because I have often made requests such as those listed above, and found myself in troubling, trying situations. Through the thick of it, I get upset, wondering if God ever answered my prayers.

But when I look back, I am amazed by how those were the seasons I learned the most and came out of the strongest. I often got what I asked for, whether that was comfort from God, a new experience, or growth. But it didn’t come in the form that I had envisioned, which is why I couldn’t appreciate what was happening in the moment.

Fortunately, we have a very patient and understanding God, who is willing to wait for us to figure things out before we are grateful.

This doesn’t mean you should stop asking God for things, especially virtues or traits that would make you more like Christ, even though the way to get those things may be difficult. Instead, I hope these words can encourage you during the journey.

God has not forgotten you. He has heard you and He will transform you into the person you were created to be.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Philippians 4:6-8

Stepping Into Another Year of Life

A little note on birthdays 🙂

I realized yesterday that I’ve never posted on my birthday, always the day after. But this year is the time for something different.

I love this quote on birthdays by Morgan Harper Nichols:

Take heart.

The value of your life

is not measured in calendar years.

When I was a kid, I used to enjoy the presents and the time with friends for my birthday, but I would also dread getting older. Why be ten when I loved being nine?

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve felt the pressure to speed up the aging process in order to be respected. It’s a compliment to be seen as more mature than you really are.

And I suppose once I hit my 30’s or 40’s, I’ll want to be young again. So the cycle continues.

I think this with a chuckle: We are never really satisfied, are we?

As C.S. Lewis once put it, we are created with an eternal purpose and an eternal soul within us, which means only eternal things can satisfy us.

This year has been a reminder to put everything in God’s hands. Our plans, our dreams, even what we think we need, can change with the flip of a switch. Everything can be gone in an instant, even what we once thought was love.

Except God’s love, of course. That lasts forever.

It’s been painful to realize that things not going smoothly isn’t a sign that I’m not abiding by God’s will. It may very well be that God steered me down an uncomfortable path for a reason. It means that things will hurt and parts of my life will get pruned. But it’s all necessary for beautiful growth.

So today, at the end of a very long year that simultaneously went by in a snap, I will just say one thing:

Cherish what you have while you have it. The loved ones, the opportunities, the peace. But never hold onto anything too tightly, except for God. We float through life like a feather in the wind. But we are headed in the direction–the best direction possible–that God has in mind for us.

So don’t waste away the present by worrying about the future. Instead, hold onto hope as you move forward with a smile, knowing that maybe tomorrow will be a little bit better. ❤

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

2 Corinthians 5:17