Tag: Trust

Why You Don’t Have What You Want

Are you upset right now because you don’t have something that you believe is meant for you? Here is some encouragement.

What is it that you want most in life? A different job? A significant other? A deeper relationship with Jesus?

If I were to ask you why you don’t have that thing, you’d likely come up with a plethora of reasons. Perhaps you don’t believe you’re qualified or attractive enough. Maybe you believe only a theology degree can get you an intimate relationship with Christ.

Though those answers may sound convincing, the truth is, there are two reasons why we don’t have what we want.

The first is pretty self-explanatory: It isn’t meant for us. Sometimes that person who seems perfect is actually the one who would’ve broken your heart had God allowed them to be in your life. Maybe that job isn’t the one that would help you witness to the most people. Whatever the reason may be, Jesus knows it’s better for us to have something or someone else.

The second reason gets a little more complicated: fear.

Did you know that you are at least 20% more attractive than you feel? That’s because we allow ourselves to believe the lie that we aren’t beautiful. In fact, it’s almost easier to believe that we are unattractive than admit that we are created in God’s image. It’s also easier to hide behind the idea that you aren’t good enough or attractive enough to talk to the person you like rather than admit your true feelings.

The same goes for other goals in life. We often say we aren’t qualified rather than go back to school and learn. We would rather say we don’t know than spend time in the Bible finding the answers.

This isn’t laziness– it’s fear.

We fear rejection. We fear conviction. We fear judgement.

I believe that there are two main things that separate people from God: fear and pride. When we cling onto our fears, we forget the truth, that God has a wonderful plan for us and that He can do anything. We believe that we are on our own, with no one there to save us. But actually God has an amazing plan for you and He can use you to do remarkable things.

The saddest thing about fear is that it keeps us from reaching out to others. Have you ever thought about how incredible it felt when someone expressed their appreciation to you or wanted to get to know you? Then how come it’s so hard to reciprocate that action to someone we don’t know very well? Because of fear. We don’t know their reaction.

God doesn’t promise to tell us the results before He calls us to do something. You might experience humiliation or defeat. But in the long run, it will be worth it, because you will have no regrets. You will know that you did what God wanted you to, and that feeling is enough to bring you peace.

Today, ask yourself if there are any practical steps you can take in getting what you want. If God has made it clear to you that this isn’t what’s right for your life, then step away and trust that something better is in store. But if God is calling you to take a leap of faith, then do it. Reach out, share your feelings, learn something new.

We can’t comprehend the incredible things God is doing through us. That’s why we just have to take it on faith and trust the results with Him.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

1 John 4:18

 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 14:27

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:34

Three Minutes

Do you ever doubt your purpose? This post is for anyone who’s ever struggled to understand why they’re here.

I’m sure we’ve all hit a point in our lives where we doubt our purpose. We go to God and ask, “Why am I here, God? I mean, why am I really here?”

As much as I talk about purpose, I’ve had my fair share of doubts about mine. When things don’t happen in the amount of time I expect, I get panicky. When “everyone else” seems to have it all together, I wonder if I’m too different to be useful.

Time is such a critical thing. Though we often spend hours on our phones scrolling through social media, we fear our lives ending before we’ve done anything noteworthy. There are so many people on Earth, how can we stand out? How can we be remembered? Or really, how can we avoid being forgotten?

Switching topics momentarily, has there ever been a song that’s changed your life? I don’t just mean a bop, but a song that truly changed the way you view life?

For me, it’s Rescue, by Lauren Daigle.

The first time I paid attention to the lyrics, I was at my lowest. I was doubting my worth, my purpose. I truly didn’t believe I belonged here.

Standing out in the rain, the darkening sky seemed to reflect my heart, my state of mind. I asked God if anyone truly saw me. Did anyone even care?

That’s when God’s voice, spoken through Lauren Daigle, whispered in my ears, “You are not hidden. There’s never been a moment you were forgotten”.

I’ve heard so many stories from K-Love of how a song inspired them or brought them closer to God. If you haven’t already found a song, perhaps a song will meet you in the future.

But just think–three minutes, that’s all it takes to change a life. Three minutes of repeated lyrics, a few background instruments, and a person hoping to change the world. Or maybe they don’t even have that desire. Perhaps it truly is just God doing His work through the unexpected.

I’m sure you’ve all heard of FOMO–the fear of missing out–and have experienced it at one time or another. I often suffer from it, though less than before. Yet God has shown me time and again how everything is in His perfect timing.

That same year of when Rescue touched my life, I experienced a major car accident. Leading up to the accident, I didn’t really value my life. I felt replaceable, a hopeless cause. Sure, my view of life was improving, but life took its ups and downs, particularly downs during that time.

But then it happened, when I least expected it. I didn’t see the car coming and I made the turn. Hit in the side, we spun around for several moments before I came-to. Had I been hit even seconds earlier, I might’ve died, or at least experienced worse side effects.

I experienced many mental side effects from the accident, which I’ve shared here before. But I only had two scars, one of which has gone away, and the other a permanent reminder of how God chose to save me.

I believe we are fulfilling our purposes up until our last breath. But God gets to decide when that last breath is taken. It’s taken years for me to come to terms with the truth that God really does have a purpose for me and for the pain that He allows us to go through. But just as a parent allows their kids to learn the hard way sometimes because they love them, God allows us to go through difficulties because He loves us too. In fact, those difficulties often end up reminding us of His love.

Life can change in a split second. That used to frighten me. But when we remember that God is the one in control of time, that time is no barrier for Him, we can have peace about whatever comes next.

Just think–God can work through a simple sentence on a post, a three minute song on the radio, a letter in the mail…He created the entire world in a week! So of course He can and will work through you.

Never give up. You are needed here. ❤

Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders which You have done,
And Your thoughts toward us;
There is none to compare with You.
If I would declare and speak of them,
They would be too numerous to count.

Psalm 40:5

Here is a song by Riley Clemmons which has encouraged me when life doesn’t go the way I expect. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Link: https://youtu.be/0GCgg1PMnqg

Caught Up in the Moment

If you are experiencing frustration with how your life is taking a different course than you imagined, then this article is for you.

It’s easy to look back and laugh at our old dreams. Sometimes “old” refers to childhood or even just a few weeks ago. But when we’re in the heat of the moment, it’s nearly impossible to understand how God’s plan can differ from our own.

You know how they say taking a day off can clear the mind? Well, now I believe that.

In many ways, 2020-2021 has been our time of getting “away from normal life”. I mean, come on, “normal” hasn’t been allowed for a year and is just getting reintroduced now!

From most of the people I’ve talked to, this past year has actually brought them closer to God because they have more time to spend with Him. I’d also bet it’s because we’re forced to trust Him now that our plans have been thrown up in the air.

At first, 2020-2021 was a time for much needed space. I distanced myself from certain people, I took new opportunities when they came up, and I grew closer to God.

But then the “unusual year” started feeling like a new normal. Over the last few months, I’ve been caught up in my new desires…and fears. I’ve created a new plan, adapted by my new life, and I’ve begun to prioritize those things over the truths God has shown me throughout my life.

Over the weekend, I took my first day off from work to spend time with relatives who were visiting. While I wouldn’t say the weekend was restful, it gave me perspective.

Even when distanced from my situation for a few days, the things that I clung so tightly to no longer seemed significant. Sure, they still mattered, but they no longer needed to be thought about during every spare moment.

Of course, there’s never a season of life, even when that season consists of a few days, where you have no desires. Sure enough, my imagination ran wild with new possibilities and desires for my future. But this time, as I experience both excitement and disappointment, I’m remembering this truth that God continues to bring to mind:

Our feelings are fleeting. They matter, they exist, they are normal. But they should not control our lives. That’s why God is in control. He has a perfect plan, and if things don’t happen the way I want them to, I have to remember that while my priorities will change, His never will.

Think about that one thing that you wish you could change. That person’s response, that missed opportunity, that mistake.

I know it’s hard…painful even. But what if that had to happen so that you’ll experience something greater?

God knows more than what we do. He knows what people say about us when we aren’t around. He knows how that person would’ve treated us had He kept them in our lives. He knows what are gifts are and how we can use them most effectively. God knows.

It’s easy to forget who God is. God created us, for goodness sake! He understands us far more deeply than any person can. He remembers us and puts our needs in top priority. Most people can’t even remember to ask how we’re doing, but God goes to great lengths–the greatest lengths!–to get in touch with us.

God loves you so much. I know you’ve heard it before, but let the words sink in this time. Love means putting the other person first. God does not benefit from your suffering. He does not cause your suffering. He just allows what needs to happen take place in order to help us grow. Our life down here is so short. Then we will spend eternity with Him forever!

So today, instead of being caught up in the moment, take some space away from the things burdening your heart. Ask God for perspective on your situation and clarity for what He wants you to do with your life.

Always remember: You have the ability to make a difference in people’s lives.

For the Lord searches all hearts, and understands every intent of the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will let you find Him; but if you forsake Him, He will reject you forever.

1 Chronicles 28:9

Lord, all my desire is before You;
And my sighing is not hidden from You.

Psalm 38:9

Every man’s way is right in his own eyes,
But the Lord weighs the hearts.

Proverbs 21:2

Life Hack #2: God’s Will Requires Trusting Him

Do you struggle with knowing what God’s will is for your life? In Life Hack #2, we’ll see that God’s will requires trusting Him.

One of the toughest parts of being a follower of Christ is figuring out God’s will, especially during the monumental stages of life, like picking a career, a spouse, or location to live in. I’m not an expert in God’s will, but I have learned a lot through my own faith journey, particularly over the past year as I’ve been choosing a career path.

Life Hack #2: God’s Will Requires Trusting Him

If you feel like a failure for not knowing God’s will for your life, I understand where you’re coming from. First of all, you’re not. There’s a reason why there are so many theologians and books about the Bible out there. We’re all trying to figure it out and helping each other in the process.

Perhaps you’ve been in the same place I’ve been: Sitting at a desk, standing out in the street, staring across the table…deep in thought. Mind racing, heart beating rapidly, palms sweaty. The decision is due by such-and-such date, yet you still haven’t heard God’s divine voice from Heaven tell you exactly what you need to do.

Sure, you’ve read the Bible, flipping to the concordance to see any words matching your current situation. You’ve talked to countless mentors and friends, all who’ve given you the same advice: Just do God’s will and the rest will fall into place.

But what even is God’s will?

If you want to get specific, our goal as workers for God is bringing more and more people into relationship with Him. Not for the sake of numbers, but because having a relationship with Jesus cultivates love, compassion, and purpose, as well as eternal life.

But that still doesn’t clear things up, does it? Debating whether or not to go on a date with someone or choosing between two careers that weren’t even invented in biblical times won’t get clear-cut answers from the Bible’s definition of God’s will.

One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever been given was this: You’ll know if you’re doing God’s will when you’re required to trust Him through the situation.

That means that things that are challenging are often part of God’s will for us because He’s giving us no excuse but to trust Him. He’s strengthening our faith.

A wise person once said, “If you ask God for patience, don’t be surprised when He places you in a difficult relationship or situation. If you ask God for peace, don’t be surprised when people you’ve been trying to hold onto are taken out of your life.”

The point is, we often doubt we’re doing God’s will when “everything goes wrong”. But a lot of times, those are the moments God is using to bring us closer to Him, to teach us things. When we realize that God is using every choice we make to help us grow, we won’t be as inclined to doubt ourselves.

Reflection

Is there a difficult decision you’re trying to make? Will one option bring you closer to God than the other? What is God trying to teach you through this?

No matter what you choose, God will work through the situation. The most important thing to do is give you life to Jesus, and He will work all things according to His purpose.

For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.

Philippians 2:13

Many plans are in a man’s heart,
But the counsel of the Lord will stand.

Proverbs 19:21

In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Life Hack #1: Always Do the “Kind” Thing

Starting a new series on life hacks! Today’s life hack: Always do the kind thing.

I always hated it when, after sharing a long, complicated dilema with a trusted person, I’d get the advice, “Just always do the right thing”. What’s right? How is that helpful?

When figuring out my major last summer, I came across the same issue and same unhelpful advice. “Just do what God wants you to do”. Well, how do I know what that is?

My second time ever speaking in front of my church, I was giving a speech on “Life Hacks” from the Fruits of the Spirit. Through this new series, named appropriately enough, “Life Hacks”, I will be sharing some (hopefully) actually helpful advice when it comes to making decisions. Ultimately, there will never be 100% confirmation that we did what God wanted us to do unless we hear His thundering voice (or still whisper). But the Bible (and life experiences) can give us some clear indicators on knowing we’re working for Jesus.

Life Hack #1: Always do the “kind” thing.

This might sound like a remix of “always do the right thing”, but hear me out. Deep in our hearts, we know when an action is kind or not. We know the place from which our actions spur out of. Only you and God know if you gave that person a gift because you loved them or you expected something back. Only you two know if you donated out of sympathy or obligation.

It’s hard knowing when something’s “right” or not. A lot of times we end up trusting our gut or trying to apply Biblical wisdom to the situation. Both are good, especially going to God’s word. But a sure-proof way of knowing whether or not an action will potentially leave a powerful lasting impact is asking yourself if it’s showing another person kindness.

It sounds a lot easier than it really is. Sometimes, we just want our opinion out there, so we choose to send the sharply worded text rather than sharing an encouraging post. Or being kind requires sacrifice. Maybe it means getting a “bad” reputation or dealing with a person who isn’t liked by society. It could be financial sacrifice too, like trusting God with the bills in order to donate to charity or tithe. Perhaps it’s just getting off the couch after a long day to make dinner for someone else.

But let me tell you something: Whatever the sacrifice, it’s worth it.

On Sunday, I was given the opportunity to show kindness to a family grieving. It was a simple gesture, didn’t require much sacrifice on my part. But the hot, muggy weather was getting to me. I considered just sending a text instead of bringing my freshly baked cookies and card over.

However, I listened to the Holy Spirit, knowing this was truly not a big sacrifice at all in exchange for bringing others joy. And I am so thankful I made the extra effort. It ended up benefiting me as much as it did them. In the moment, I had a meaningful connection. After the fact, I learned that they would be moving soon, and this might’ve been one of my last opportunities to reach out to them.

God knows so much more than we do. Actually, He knows everything. So take His word for it when He tells you to do something that doesn’t make sense, especially when it comes to reaching out and encouraging others.

Jesus knows all about sacrifice. He sacrificed His reputation to dine among “sinners”. He humbled Himself by surrounding Himself with “the least of these”. He sacrificed His own life to save us. Jesus is the definition of kind.

Reflection

Is there someone God’s placing on your heart today? Someone who needs an extra bit of kindness, a tender word or a sweet gesture of appreciation?

I often think back to a powerful quote I read, “Be kind, everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about” (Wendy Mass). Only God knows everyone’s full story, and the only way to get to know someone better is to be kind to them.

And who knows? You might be unexpectedly blessed in the process too.

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-5

 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 4:29

Why Do You Believe?

Have you ever asked yourself why you believe what you believe?

The most important question to ask is “Why?”. We should ask ourselves why are we doing what we’re doing. We should ask others why they believe what they believe so that we can better understand them. We should even ask God why, because then we open our minds to understanding His greater purpose for everything.

I asked my Bible study one of the hardest, yet most important, questions we can ask ourselves as followers of Christ: Why do you believe in Jesus? I limited them to only a few sentences, since we all had shared our testimonies before, and because if an unbeliever asks us this, they likely don’t want to hear an entire essay response.

My answer was this:

I believe in Jesus because I have experienced His love and grace firsthand. He has brought me through the toughest seasons of my life by giving me a feeling of peace that couldn’t have come from anyone else. He gives my life a purpose, the purpose everyone longs for until they find Him.

What I loved most about this exercise was the diversity in responses. Some spoke of Jesus’ forgiveness and grace. Others focused on His love and kindness. Many cited times of when Jesus did something in their lives that changed their perspectives.

There’s this false idea that we all have to come to faith the same way. We must have a “mountain top experience” and never have doubts afterwards. We must be faithful church-goers, have all the answers, and have an unwavering trust in God.

But that isn’t true. While it’s wonderful for those of us who’ve had mountain-top experiences, it isn’t required for being a true believer. It’s normal, and even healthy, to have doubts. We just need to bring our questions to God. It’s good to go to church, to understand the Bible, and to trust God, yet our faith journey is like a rollercoaster sometimes, especially at the beginning. Just because you are struggling to trust God or find the right community for a season doesn’t mean you aren’t saved. What’s important is that you’re seeking God with all your heart.

Today, ask yourself the tough question: Why do you believe in Jesus? Write down whatever comes to mind. This will not only prepare you for answering that question in the future, but it will solidify your faith. Those doubts often come from not knowing why or what we believe in. Often, finding these answers and reminding yourself of how God has taken care of you will give you peace.

Once you allow God’s peace to fill your heart, you’ll feel free to let go.

 Now devote your heart and soul to seeking the LORD your God.

1 Chronicles 22:19

God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.

Acts 17:27

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:13

Saying the “Right” Thing

Have you been turned away from faith by a person’s words? Or worse, have you said the wrong thing and now regret it? Here’s some advice and encouragement!

I was saddened yesterday by a post a peer shared about the reason she despises all religions, specifically Christianity. She explained that her family “forced it” on her growing up and that a pastor’s weak condolence of “it’s all part of God’s plan” at her grandmother’s funeral was the final nail in the coffin in her rejection of God.

What makes me truly disheartened by this story is the truth that we, as believers, often say things like “it’s all part of God’s plan”. We usually say things like this when things are going well for us, and we want to cheer someone up. Or if we’ve had God reveal this to us through our own experiences. But we have to be careful not to make a few key mistakes when encouraging others in their faith.

  1. What expectations are you holding for unbelievers?

A mentor wisely told me, “We have to be careful to not hold unbelievers to the same expectations we hold believers. After all, they don’t necessary know or care about what the Bible says, so why should we expect them to obey God’s commands?”

This is so true. While we shouldn’t condone sin, we have to realize that until they build a relationship with God, they aren’t going to understand the significance of repentance and God’s forgiveness. Holding them accountable will come in time, but first we must help them realize why they should even desire a relationship with God.

2. Are our words appropriate for the situation?

The pastor’s words to my peer weren’t lies. God does have a plan for everything. However, saying that off-handedly during a funeral may not be the best time. When others experience a significant loss, we shouldn’t force them to move on too quickly. We need to show them God’s comfort and love. Jesus, while on Earth, cried when He saw others suffering. In fact, He holds everyone’s tears in His hands even now. Being present with someone during their time of grief is more meaningful than spewing Bible verses at them. If the Spirit leads you to say something, then say it. But God can work even through our silent moments.

3. Do you have authority over what you are talking about?

My mom once described an old friend as “a person who likes to hear herself talk”. In fact, when making conversation with others, asking them lots of questions is a good start because people enjoy talking about themselves. This can all be fine and good, but when it comes down to witnessing to others, this can often be a shortcoming.

A lot of times we want to share a random tidbit of information we read online, even when we don’t have all the facts. Or we want to answer others’ questions even when we have no authority over the subject. When you are telling someone about Jesus, don’t start creating your own theology or make up answers to their questions. Instead, share personal stories of how Jesus has changed your life.

The best thing to do to be prepared for opportunities to share your faith is reading the Bible. That way you will have authority over what you’re speaking about. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to lead your discussions. God can give you wisdom right when you need it most.

Anyone who loves Jesus and desires to do His will can be a good witness for Him. Just make sure you’re sharing information that you know will actually benefit and encourage others.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

Romans 8:26

My peer’s grandma died of pancreatic cancer, which was the same disease that killed my church’s pastor. However, throughout my pastor’s journey, He grew closer to God and inspired others to keep holding onto faith.

While writing a condolence card for my pastor’s son, I considered sounding full of faith by saying, “God knows what’s best” and “Everything happens for a reason”. But instead, I wrote, “I honestly don’t know why this has happened to your family. But I do know that God has wonderful plans in store for your future.”

By admitting this, I didn’t deny God’s greater plan or the pain of his loss. But I didn’t pretend like I had all the answers, because I don’t. When we are vulnerable and honest, we are not lacking faith, we are becoming more relatable to those curious about God. Perhaps I could’ve said something different, something better. But I’m going to choose to believe that I said the best that I could because I prayed about each word I wrote. We often don’t say “the perfect thing”, but if we truly believe we did what God called us to, we don’t have to have regrets.

We may never fully understand God’s plan while on Earth. God wants us to fully grieve and appreciate those we have lost. There are two things that give me hope during seasons of grief:

  1. God is right beside us. He knows and understands everything we’re feeling. His love isn’t dependent on how we behave or our circumstances.
  2. Our sense of time is so different from God’s. A lifetime down here may be a blink of an eye up in Heaven. Though it’s hard to move forward after a loss, eventually we will be reunited again, this time for eternity.

Now that’s something to look forward to.

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.

Acts 1:8

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord. 

Jeremiah 29:11-14

God Uses Every Version of You

Do you feel embarrassed about the past? Here’s some encouragement!

Do you ever look back and immediately cringe? Usually it’s not just for the outdated trends or gastly hairstyles, but for the person we used to be, so unknowing and just plain embarrassing! But our memory does change over time, and we don’t always see ourselves as the people we truly were at the time. God will use us no matter what stage of life we’re in. Just think about the people who have touched your life. They hadn’t reached “perfection” when they helped you, yet they were impactful.

I was reminded of how God moves through us, even at young ages, while reading an old journal entry last night. Back in 2019, God had given me “instinctual sympathy” for a girl at my barn who I didn’t know very well. In my journal entry from that summer, I wrote that I felt I needed to pray for her because I might be one of the only ones who was. I even off-handedly remarked that perhaps God would use me in her life someday. I had no clear reason why I felt the way I did or how true my words would be.

Fast-forward two years. I started getting to know her better and understanding what was happening in her life. She didn’t have a clear relationship with God, but I could tell she was struggling. God has given me so many opportunities to be there for her in ways I never imagined in 2019. I got chills just reading how God was preparing me to be a friend to her back in the years were I felt “ill-equipped” and “unusable”.

How often do we let age or status or other people’s opinions of us define how much impact God can have on our lives, or even how we’re able to affect others? Has that held you back from reaching out and being there for someone you know needs a friend? What if that mindset is keeping us from being the reason someone smiles or has hope for the future or even starts a relationship with God?

You have the potential to change people’s lives. We were created to positively change lives, to change the world. God is ready to grow you into an extraordinary person. The only thing holding you back is not believing you’re worth it.

Well, guess what. You are so worth it.

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Galatians 2:20

For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

Philippians 2:13

The Reason for Life

Do you ever wonder why you’re here? Here’s some encouragement.

Spending time with horses has taught me about overcoming fear, trusting others, and building relationships. But one of the greatest takeaways from spending time at the barn is an expression my instructor uses frequently: Where you look is where you’ll go.

In the horse world (and driving world, I’ve learned), this literally means that where your eyes are, that’s where you’ll end up. Horses can sense what you’re focused on and how you’re feeling, which is partially why this happens. But the main reason is that when we are focused on something, the rest of our body follows suite to get us there. We often don’t notice these subtle changes, like turning our hands or shifting our weight to one side. But our horses notice, and eventually if we’re focused on the wrong thing, we’ll notice too.

Part of my job with working with riders is taking the beginner riders on the longe line, which is this long rope that goes from the horse’s head to me. If the horse is too close to me, then he won’t go, but if he’s too far away, then I am no longer in control. This can be an issue since kids on the longe line are practicing riding without reins to get muscle control and build their core, as well as their courage. They rely on me to keep them safe, yet they have to do their part too by keeping their horse at the right distance away.

Occasionally, (okay, often), a young rider gets distracted by the other, more advanced riders out in the arena. They are looking at them instead of looking ahead in the direction they need to go. That allows the horse to take the opportunity to go where he isn’t supposed to, often ending up in a frustrating situation for all of us.

If you’re not a horse-person and you’ve stuck with me this far, great job! I promise this leads somewhere. You see, I’ve come to learn that “where you look is where you go” applies to life too. I mean, sometimes we wish this literally was the case, since then we wouldn’t have to walk anywhere, we could just appear there. But when it comes to goals, if we get distracted, we will never get to where we want to go.

More importantly, when we don’t focus on Jesus, our lives go off-course. I’ve talked about focusing on Jesus countless times, because that’s the only way to have a fulfilling life. When Jesus gets taken out of the picture, the reason behind our existence disappears too.

My friend and I were discussing the meaning of life a couple months ago. (A light topic, I know) When I really get into a conversation, I say whatever comes to me without thinking through it, which can sometimes be a good thing, actually. I told her that if we didn’t have a purpose in life (aka living for Jesus, fulfilling His will) then we wouldn’t want to life. She gave me a startled look and clarified, “So if I didn’t know my purpose, I would just want to die?”

I thought for a moment. Was that really what I meant?

Maybe it actually was.

You see, whether you realize it or not, we spend our entire lives searching for our purpose. When we finally figure things out, we realize that “knowing our purpose” isn’t having some step-by-step formula of how we want life to go. It doesn’t have to be knowing our career path or who we’ll end up with. It just means realizing our purpose is found in relationship with Jesus. Apart from that, we live empty, shallow lives.

So if you’re freaking out because you don’t have answers, don’t be scared. No one has all the answers. We may never have all the answers on this side of Heaven. But as long as you are relentlessly pursuing Jesus, you will find your purpose, I can promise you that.

You are here for a reason. You are loved.

 Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. 3 For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.

Colossians 3:2-4

Keep Running to Jesus

When your prayers aren’t answered the way you hoped, do you cling to Jesus or stop running to Him?

God will either give us what we ask or give us what we would have asked if we knew everything He knows.

Timothy Keller

Though I read this quote for the first time today, I have been grappling to understand its meaning for years now. Is it really true? Does God really know what’s best for us? Is there a reason behind this waiting, suffering, and discouragement?

My consensus: Yes.

This comes in the wake of an incredibly discouraging week. I’ll spare you most of the details, but a few of the highlights include watching a ministry plummet, learning of a friend’s recent loss, and getting my hopes up about a certain situation (which I’ll go into more detail in) just to get them dashed.

To give some background to this “certain situation”, I must tell you that relationships are everything to me. You’d have to get to know me before realizing that I truly put my all into them. Last summer, a dream came true when one of my best friends visited for a week. We had been friends for years, but this was the first time we spent time together in person. That only strengthened our friendship, yet shortly after we began realizing technology wasn’t on our side. With several states in between us, communicating by phone is crucial. Since late August until last Tuesday, we had only Facetimed once, had a handful of texts, and one voice call. This was extremely draining for both of us, since we had become each other’s confidants and relied on each other. I honestly wasn’t even sure if she was okay and the hardest part was not having any way of finding out.

God’s taught me about control and persistence through this experience. He’s reminded me (as I so often need to remember) that He’s the one in control, not me. He’s whispered “never give up” in my ear countless times. I can’t say I haven’t grown from this experience, despite its difficulty.

Last Tuesday, we thought we had found a solution. We eagerly talked on the phone for half an hour, planning our next call and looking forward to arranging times to get together this summer. I thought I couldn’t be happier! But that night, I realized that our solution was only temporary. Our phones had somehow reversed themselves back again. We had literally tried everything we could think of and more.

During the day on Tuesday, I almost posted about my experience (prior to learning the solution hadn’t worked). On Monday night, as I lay in bed, struggling to fall asleep, I told God about my frustrations over this seemingly hopeless situation. As I shared in my previous post, I’ve been learning about how important it is to be vulnerable with God. So when the impossible happened on Tuesday, I praised God.

It’s taken me two days to think about why what I thought God was giving me had to be taken away again. I’m still not sure, but I have a few ideas.

I wasn’t wrong to praise God on Tuesday. I can (and should) still praise God today, and every day. Even when He doesn’t “come through” the way I want Him to, He’s still a good Father. God gave me what I needed. He gave me the hope to keep going. He allowed us to talk on the phone. The gift of hearing a close friend’s voice after months of silence is invigorating. He reminded me of the importance of gratitude, of not jumping ahead to the next “want/need” before saying thank you and relishing the sense of contentment.

In my Bible study today, I read the story of Lazarus rising from the dead. I’ve heard this story many times, but reading it today gave me new insight.

It was out of Jesus’ love and compassion for Martha and Mary (Lazarus’ sisters) that He didn’t come and heal Lazarus when they called out to Him. He knew what they wanted even before they requested it. But in verse 5 it says,

“Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days, and then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.'”

He waited in order to give them an even bigger miracle– a resurrection from the dead! This story could’ve been another healing (which albeit is still incredible), but instead it became a story that would bring a community from disbelief to belief. From grief to rejoicing. From hopeless to hopeful.

Martha and Mary could’ve easily believed that Jesus stopped loving them or didn’t care about their situation when He didn’t show up the way they expected. They could’ve ignored Him when He came two days “late”. But instead, they ran to Him and cried with Him. They asked Him the “hard questions”. And Jesus honored that.

It’s so easy to doubt Jesus when things don’t go our way. But the most important thing to believe when we’re in a tough situation is that God knows what’s best and He’s the only one in charge. Jesus hears every prayer you say, whether out loud, in your head, or in your heart. If you run to Jesus, He will lovingly embrace you. So what’s stopping you?

Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42 I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”

43 When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” 44 The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.

John 11:41

The Lord brings death and makes alive;

    he brings down to the grave and raises up.

1 Samuel 2:6