Tag: Self love

Take a Deep Breath

Have you been feeling burned out lately? Here is an invitation to rest and invite God’s peace to fill your troubled heart today.

Do you ever just feel…burned out?

Maybe everything is crumbling around you. Perhaps you have had an increased workload or a new person is in your life who demands a lot of your attention and energy. Or maybe things are just…normal?

Honestly, don’t feel bad if normal is exhausting. Especially now, life still amidst a pandemic, living in a world full of brokenness and selfishness and division.

But maybe that isn’t the whole world. Maybe, despite things feeling as though they are getting worse, there is still room for gentleness.

Last weekend was particularly rough for me. I won’t go into detail, but I witnessed the reality of our broken world. I felt powerless as people in need surrounded me and all I could do was take care of my own safety. And even then, I couldn’t protect a friend when she was harassed by a stranger. As I turned left and right, I saw how truly divided we have become. We think we’ve made progress in loving others and cultivating peace, but have we really? This weekend has planted an image in my mind of what Jesus meant when He described the evil we will face in the world.

Perhaps you’ve experienced something similar lately, a fresh slap of reality right in the face. It hurts, doesn’t it?

When you get hurt, it isn’t usually the initial contact that stings the most. It’s the sharpness that penetrates through your body until it’s all you can think about. It resonates deeply within you, leaving a lasting imprint. A scar that symbolizes a point in your journey.

But that is what it is–a point. It’s not the beginning, it’s not the end. It’s not the whole story. Your life has scars and it will get more scars as you keep going. But with every scar comes the rebuilding of skin, a healing process.

Though the healing process brings revival and joy back into your life, it doesn’t always feel beneficial at first. Be gentle with yourself as you take a look at what is causing the pain in your life. Change is hard and it’s important to just take it one step at a time.

Close your eyes for a moment and take a deep breath. Recently, I’ve seen the value of breath prayers, aligning your heart with God’s through a few simple words and actions. When you inhale, you will pray a few words. As you exhale, you will finish the prayer.

Pray with me:

Inhale: Jesus, my Protector

Exhale: Fill me with Your peace.

Allow yourself to feel the meaning of these words. Jesus offers us unexplainable, never ending peace with Him. No matter what’s going on, you can rest in His faithfulness.

But in my distress I cried out to the LORD; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears.

Psalm 18:6

Never worry about anything. Instead, in every situation let your petitions be made known to God through prayers and requests, with thanksgiving. Then God’s peace, which goes far beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your hearts and minds in union with the Messiah Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

Living an Unseen Life

Do you often feel unappreciated or unnoticed when you do good things? Here is some advice and encouragement!

Have you ever made it through a long day, took a deep breath, and felt completely exhausted? As you reflected over the past 24 hours, your heart felt heavy as your mind replayed the moments where you were overlooked. Maybe your hard work didn’t seem to pay off. Maybe no one thanked you for your commitment and time. Or perhaps you felt used because no one else seemed to be doing responsible things and expected you to fix all their problems.

It can get wearisome doing the right thing, no matter what the “right thing” looks like. Sometimes, it’s reaching out to a person who denies their need for community. Other times, it’s standing up for the marginalized even when it’s not popular. Often, it’s when we are doing what Jesus would want us to do, which isn’t “the norm” in a society that doesn’t have the same values.

After everything I’ve said, there don’t seem to be many perks to doing the right thing though, huh? Especially because our efforts go unappreciated. But what if I told you that it’s better when we aren’t appreciated for our good works?

Before I go on, I want to give a disclaimer: it’s not bad to get appreciated. It’s human to seek validation and affection, and if you get those things, that doesn’t take away from your faith. However, I want to give encouragement for those of us who have felt unseen as we try to spread God’s love in a broken world.

When Jesus came here, He knew the discouragement we would face when being apprentices of Him. If you think about it, Jesus was only thanked a handful of times despite the countless sacrificial things He did. He understands our pain. That’s why Jesus addresses this issue during one of His sermons to His disciples.

Jesus says, “But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

Though He’s specifically addressing assisting the needy, I believe this can be interpreted as any act we do to help others for the sake of Christ. Not only does this remind us that everything we do that gets overlooked by people is seen by God, it helps us refocus our intentions when doing generous things.

You see, when we do everything for Jesus, we aren’t just helping others learn more about Him, we are doing it for others rather than for ourselves. Yes, we can benefit and grow from serving, but shouldn’t our primary goal be helping those we’re serving? When we get so caught up over whether or not someone is watching, we forget the purpose behind our mission.

I’m going to leave you with this challenge: the next time you reflect over an opportunity to be there for someone, don’t feel bad about how it went, regardless of whether or not you were appreciated. Instead, feel blessed that you were able to help and that God is so proud of you.

Don’t grow weary in doing good. Eventually, you will begin to see what a difference you make in the world. ❤

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matthew 6:19-21

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:33

When the Burden Feels Heavy

Jesus promises that the burden of being a Christian is light. However, in a world full of so much darkness and pain, showing God’s love can feel anything but easy. So how can we move forward when being a Christian isn’t comfortable?

I’ve often been stumped by this verse, Matthew 11:30, “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” In context, these words are spoken by Jesus, when He is encouraging His disciples. Not only does Jesus promise to give us an “easy” workload and a “light” burden, He says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Now, I don’t know about you, but these verses hit different these days. Our world is going through a lot. We’re going through a lot. A lot of heavy, difficult, and painful things. So when Jesus tells us to come to Him and find rest, it’s an irresistible offer.

Nothing about this verse is confusing when it’s simply words on a page. Hearing about how delightful and refreshing being a Christian is sounds great, right? But then, when we’re on the battlefield for our faith, literally and figuratively, we begin to doubt the validity of these words. Is Jesus really right? If He is, then why is being a Christian so complicated?

Well…we make it complicated. We as in humanity as a whole. You see, my friends, Jesus is not telling us that life will be easy once we become Christian. In fact, these words are spoken in the same chapter as when Jesus’ own cousin, John the Baptist, is in prison. Jesus knows fully that John will be beheaded for his faith, and He also knows that most of the disciples He’s comforting will be persecuted and even killed because of their alliance to Him.

Jesus is no dummy. He knows exactly who He’s talking to, the incredible hardships they will face, and ultimately the end of everyone’s story. He isn’t saying these words to make light of difficulties or to give them false hope. Rather, He is reminding them that their faith gives them reason to always have peace, joy, and hope.

And how, you may ask, can we possibly have peace, joy, and hope during seasons of immense pain and fear? Well, because we can experience the kind of love that casts out all fear, pain, and guilt on a daily basis. Each day, when we spend time with God, we can allow His steady presence to give us rest. Even greater than that, as Christians, we have the Holy Spirit–literally God!–living inside us. To clear up any confusion, this does NOT mean we are God. Rather, it means that God wants to be with us so much, He has chosen to live inside of us so that He will be with us always.

Some of the sweetest words to hear are “I miss you”. God went one step farther than saying “I miss you”. Rather, He realized that He’d miss us so much if He wasn’t with us 24/7, He made a way for us to be together always. He’s with you on the cold, dark nights. He’s with you during scary walks alone. He’s with you when you’re facing your giants, your triggers, and your greatest fears. He’s with you through it all.

Sometimes, though, this burden that gets placed on us as Christians can feel really heavy. We are called to care about everyone, especially those hurting. When we see news headlines of people being persecuted or children being harmed or rights being taken away, we may start to panic. When we are walking alongside someone going through indescribable heartache, we may feel drained as we absorb their pain. How can this burden possibly feel light?

Earlier this year, God placed someone in my life who I knew was directly from God. I didn’t know what this person was going through when we first got connected, yet I knew God wanted me to be especially intentional in my friendship with him. Over time, I started to learn what he was going through, and I did everything I could to be there for him. At first, I felt truly honored to be chosen to be a prayer warrior and friend to him. But after a while, things started to get increasingly difficult. I lost my enthusiasm for doing God’s will in this relationship, mostly because the “next right step” seemed less clear than before. When not hearing answers right away or knowing whether or not my efforts were appreciated, I struggled to keep my hope in God. Yet I knew I had to keep going, because the burden this person was carrying was too heavy for him to carry alone.

You may be in a similar situation right now, where you aren’t sure how God is using you, but you are feeling overloaded by another person’s burden. This work of God felt exciting for a time, but now merely feels heavy. You want to be motivated to do God’s work, yet it gets draining after a while. You may be called out of your comfort zone or faced with opposition, and you aren’t sure what to do next. This burden is anything but light.

As I’ve pondered these verses over and over again, a new revelation has come upon me. We, as Christians, cannot make the burden light on our own. Rather, the key to not feeling burned out by what we’re called to do is following Jesus’ example. Jesus actually says this quite clearly in these verses by reminding us of the importance of rest and seeing how gentle and humble His heart is.

You see, burdens often feel heavy when they require us to go out on a limb for someone. When we get embarrassed or when we must sacrifice something, we start wondering where the exit is. And when we pour everything into a situation or relationship, we don’t take the time to rest and spend time with God, we get tired. Jesus, despite coming here to save the entire world, took time to rest. He took time to be with His Father. He made sure to build that into His schedule.

There isn’t a single verse in the Bible that says Jesus was embarrassed. Yet Jesus is the literal definition of humility. He washed people’s feet. He dined with the “scum of civilization”. He chatted with people labeled as “extreme sinners”. Jesus went above and beyond the call of duty. He demonstrated true love.

And when we follow Jesus’ example, our hearts become more and more like His. We are no longer embarrassed by seemingly odd things God calls us to do. We are no longer afraid to reach out and be there for people who may not expect our help. We can feel free to be exactly who God wants us to be while still having time to rest and take care of ourselves as well.

Today, your heart might feel extremely heavy. Perhaps you just received news of a friend dealing with a tragic loss. Maybe your loved one is struggling with a problem so big, the best thing you can do is pray. Or possibly the person experiencing pain is you. Maybe the burden has been placed directly on your shoulders and you’re searching for God’s peace and comfort.

I want you to read Jesus’ words and feel comforted by them. Realize that when we allow Jesus to carry the burden alongside us, the burden is light. When we see every call to help someone as an opportunity rather than an irritating interruption, the work will feel easy. We aren’t called to stay in our comfort zones. Rather, we’re called to be comforted by Jesus as we walk through the fire together.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take some of the power of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them. They will share the burden of the people with you so that you will not have to carry it alone.

Numbers 11:17

The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

Exodus 33:14

The God of Feelings

Do you ever worry about your feelings being too big for God? Here’s some advice and encouragement!

I’ve often spoken of how God isn’t a “God of feelings”. He’s so much bigger than that, loyal, faithful, honest, and never-changing. His love is so different from the fleeting love we experience in many relationships.

While all of that is true and important to recognize, I’ve realized I may have done an incredible disservice to you. By speaking so joyfully about God in this way, I may have misled you into believing that He doesn’t have feelings, that feelings don’t have a place in our world. But believe me, feelings do have an important place, and God does have feelings too.

I’ve seen the consequences of not “believing in feelings” firsthand within my own family. I used to think it was just my family, but during the recent spread of awareness about the issues Asian Americans have faced, I’m beginning to realize it’s cultural. It’s a known fact that there’s a stigma around mental health in the Asian American community, often because our mental health has not been seen as important in the past. For my dad’s side of the family, expressing any kind of feeling (other than indifference) is seen as a weakness.

Both my dad and my grandma, whenever they mention a loss or a difficulty, laugh it off to prove they are okay. I’ve never seen either of them cry. They literally live out the line from Let it Go, “Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know.” Whenever I share a hardship with them, they merely shrug and act like I’m an idiot for being the least bit concerned.

But I know those feelings are deep within them. When our dog passed away last year, my dad clung onto compulsive actions in an attempt to unknowingly cope. The stress lines and the frown on his face indicate his anxiety. Yet if asked, it will be received with harsh reprimands for ever assuming anything’s not fine. It deeply saddens me to see them suffering like this. The negative feelings won’t dissipate simply because we choose to ignore them. Rather, they continue to bubble up until we are forced to confront them, often by this point in an unhealthy way.

I think Christians often fall into the trap of making everyone think they have to be fine in order to be a Christian. “You must not trust God if you are sad or disappointed,” they often say. “Everything happens for a reason, and if you don’t believe that fully at every given moment, then you must not be saved!”

But that’s not true. If our faith was dependent on never having a single doubt or wavering moment, then our faith wouldn’t be much of anything. Our faith is built on God’s grace and forgiveness. When we get out on the water with Him and falter, He will stretch out His hand and rescue us. And those moments of truly needing His saving is what strengthens our faith the most.

When we’re close to God, we know His character. He isn’t going to turn away from us when we have tear stains on our cheeks. He isn’t going to laugh at us when we come to Him in bits and pieces after our heart’s been broken. He isn’t going to mock us when we are asking for forgiveness.

Rather, He is going to be there waiting for us, excited when we turn to Him through everything we’re feeling.

It’s when we don’t know God’s character that we fear coming to Him as anything less than perfect. Well, let me tell you, God knows darn well that we aren’t perfect! He knows our every thought and feeling. He hears every whispered cry and every quiet call for help.

But guess what? God isn’t afraid of what you’re feeling.

God is so much more powerful than what we’re feeling. He has given us this life, and these feelings, in order to bring us closer to Him and to each other. So don’t deny the fact that you have feelings. Rather, see how these feelings may be prompting you to show other’s God’s love.

One of the greatest marks of a follower of Christ is compassion. I once read in a Bible study that compassion is “love in action”. It requires stepping into another person’s shoes and feeling what they are feeling. We can’t show compassion if we deny ourselves our right to feel.

We can’t control how we feel, but we can control what we do with those feelings. If you are worried about your feelings taking over your life, then remember that you can allow God to use those feelings for good.

No matter how you’re feeling today, your feelings are valid. They matter. But they certainly won’t ever define who you are in Christ.

Lord, you have examined me

    and know all about me.

2 You know when I sit down and when I get up.

    You know my thoughts before I think them.

3 You know where I go and where I lie down.

    You know everything I do.

4 Lord, even before I say a word,

    you already know it.

Psalm 139:1-4

Song Recommendation: Broken Prayers, by Riley Clemmons: https://youtu.be/cBDt_-tIfLI

Hope for the “Doormats”

Are you tired of feeling used and your worth depending on others? Here’s some encouragement!

There’s a reason why certain types of people are called doormats. You know what I’m talking about. People who are extremely kind, flexible, and wish for others to notice them, but often make little effort to bring attention to themselves. Hopeful that they will finally get noticed for all the work they do on others’ behalves. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Until they finally grow tired of feeling used.

If you think about it, doormats, or rugs, are a really good analogy when describing these characteristics. When you have a rug, you likely forget to clean it. You step on it, it absorbs the dirt, grime, and pet hair of your family, and then it eventually gets thrown out. I’ve never heard of someone looking forward to inheriting their family member’s rug. Likely rugs aren’t even in the will.

You might be feeling a little exposed at the moment. Perhaps you’re a “doormat”; you allow people to walk all over you. Or maybe there’s someone in your life who you’ve taken for granted. I’ve been at both ends of the spectrum and neither is pleasant, or comfortable, to confront.

You see, when we are doormats, we are trying to find our worth in something that isn’t stable. We are seeking affection, affirmation, and appreciation from people who don’t see our value. We cling to the little words or gifts that might make all we’re sacrificing (often our mental health) worth it. But then, when we’re eventually tossed out or fed up, we’re left feeling empty.

Then, on the other side of things, when we don’t notice the people around us, we can often unintentionally make them feel unseen. Or maybe we are aware of how they look up to us and want to please us, and we (guiltily) take advantage of it. It makes us feel better about ourselves, like we finally have an important place in this world. But that feeling is only temporary.

Though it might seem easier to be the “user” in this situation, the truth is, both parties are hurting. They are both hoping to find a relationship where they feel worthy.

And, my friends, I have the answer to this longing: Jesus. (By now, you probably guessed it 😉 )

Jesus loves us no matter what. Nothing we do or don’t do can change that. He will pick up all our broken pieces and make us whole again. He will guide us through the storms of life and give us unexplainable peace when the hard times hit. He leads us to the right decisions and prompts us to make a difference in others’ lives.

Most importantly, He cares about us and sees us as worthy.

And when we feel worthy, we can help others feel worthy. When we walk down the street, we won’t just be walking through a crowd of noisy people. Instead, we can see each person individually, in need of God’s love. The annoying child next door, the nosy coworker, or the quiet woman on the bus suddenly becomes God’s precious creation.

So today, ask yourself if you are placing yourself in situations that show your true worth. Are you over-extending yourself for the sake of getting others’ approval? Are you overlooking someone who needs to be shown God’s love today?

You will always been worthy and seen by God. ❤

Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Matthew 10:32

But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

Titus 3:4-7

Signs to Keep Going

This is a sign for you: Don’t give up. ❤

Don’t give up. How easy it is to write those words, to say those words. How difficult it is to live by those words.

In the movies, characters often come to that pivotal moment of understanding this truth. They are about to jump, about to say goodbye to their dreams, when all of a sudden, there’s a breakthrough. Perhaps the world finally recognizes their efforts or a love walks in with a reminder of their worth. It’s always this big, dramatic event.

So when we don’t see the results we’re looking for and don’t receive a “breakthrough” moment, how are we supposed to not give up?

For me, it comes in signs from God. I’ll have an inspirational post pop up in my feed, reminding me to keep going. Maybe a friend will call and encourage me. Today, my reminder to not give up came in such a way that I cannot deny God was behind it.

I’d hardly call myself an influencer, though I’d like to be in the future. However, for lack of a better word, influencers often come to a point in their creating journey where they have to ask themselves why they are still sharing content. Is it because of the likes and follows or because they have a passion for what they are sharing? Post insights have a way of distracting us from remembering our reason for creating.

Unfortunately, I fell into this trap this morning while looking at this blog’s insights. But then, I noticed a notification by the comments tab and I clicked on it. Two incredibly encouraging comments were there, ones that had been posted fifteen days ago, yet I had somehow not seen them until today. Simple words of hope that brought a smile to my face and a reason to keep writing. God knew I needed to see them today. God’s little reminder to not give up.

If you’re looking for a sign today, here it is. Don’t give up. I know it’s hard when everything seems to be telling you otherwise. God rewards the patient and perseverance. He’s working through whatever you’re going through, and even if things don’t end up the way you hope, it will end up better. Anything done in love is worthwhile. You are loved, seen, and believed in. Keep going.

But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.

2 Chronicles 15:7

 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

Genesis 50:20

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

What Do You Actually Want?

God doesn’t see us the way everyone else does.

Two posts in one day? Apparently yes!

My friends know I love good analogies, so hopefully this one suits your fancy!

I was watching my dog, Rocky, who I’ve talked about a few times on here. He basically attacks us while we are eating by jumping all around, barking, and scratching up our legs, unless we give him what he wants.

We decided to get him a can of dog food that he hasn’t had in a while to hopefully trick his sense of smell into thinking he was getting the same food as us.

He wagged his tail eagerly, waiting in anticipation, knowing exactly what he wanted…or so we thought.

The garbage bin usually sits out in the kitchen during dinner and is unfortunately just the right height for him to stick his little black nose into. After we opened the can and scooped out the food, we threw the can into the bin. Instead of running over to get the food, he raced to the trash to check out that can.

He was so focused on the outer wrapper that he didn’t pay attention to what was good for him, what was actually what he needed and wanted.

I think we can get distracted by the “wrapper” in life, too.

We see the fixings of a life that appears to be perfect. We see a person that has stunning looks. We see a memory or something we are clinging onto with rose colored glasses.

God gives and He takes away. He doesn’t want us to be so caught up in the wrapper; He wants us to go after the deeper meaning in life, in relationships, and in His call on our lives.

Don’t settle, whether it’s for a person, a job, or what you think you want out of life if it’s anything other than what God’s calling you to.

God knows what He’s doing. He’s the only one who can see the future. He’s the one who planned it! And He planned it with you in mind, the one He loves so very much.

When you see a person, don’t think about their appearance, give them a chance regardless of how they look. Treat everyone with God’s gentleness, grace, and kindness.

When you see an opportunity, think about if it’s what God wants you to do. Pray about it. Don’t just go for something because you are afraid of missing out. But at the same time, if you think God is calling you to do it, then go for it! Take that leap of faith!

God’s got your back, you don’t have to stress anymore.

After all, just like how we are striving to look deep inside everything in our lives, God sees deep inside of us. He isn’t ever distracted by the wrapper. He loves every part of you, and He knows that desire, the longing in the core of your being.

And I hope that desire is to be just like the One who sacrificed it all because of His unfailing love for us.

You’re worth so much more than you think.

For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.

1 Sammuel 16:7

What to Do with Regrets

It’s okay to have regrets. Wait–what?? Read on to find out why.

I’m going to say something that people who know me are going to be shocked by.

It’s ok to have regrets.

You’re probably like, uh…then why do you talk about taking risks? Stepping out of your comfort zone? Emphasizing a life WITHOUT regrets?

Well, regrets are a part of life, and pretty much unavoidable. Of course I don’t like regrets. You shouldn’t just get comfortable with constantly having them. But they are not something that we should necessarily dwell on if we can’t do anything more about the situation.

That’s not to say that we shouldn’t learn from our past mistakes– of course we should reflect on them enough to not repeat them.

But everything that happens is part of God’s greater plan for our lives.

That job you turned down. That date that didn’t happen. That class you decided not to take. That conversation that wasn’t had. That missed opportunity.

Those didn’t happen because something better was in store for you.

Back when I started this blog, I was dealing a lot with my own past regrets. I even have a blog post in my drafts that is titled “How to Live a Life Without Regrets”. I wanted a second chance. I thought it was too late. But it wasn’t.

God gave me a second chance to do what I had longed to have done before.

It didn’t go the way I had imagined before. I wasn’t actually missing out on such a big opportunity after all.

Yet, I’m very grateful for that second chance. It gave me confidence, helped a relationship, and brought some truth to the surface. God loves giving us another try.

But whether or not you find out from experience that perhaps what you regretted was not as great as originally thought or you never know what it could’ve been, just remember that your past doesn’t define you. What your life looks like now is what it’s meant to be. You can work hard to prevent having regrets, like taking risks and going for new opportunities, but if you don’t have to beat yourself up over what’s been said and done already.

You are here for an incredible purpose and nothing you can do will change God’s plan for your life. God is here in the seasons of waiting. The seasons of lonliness. The seasons of questioning. Be willing to listen to His still, small voice. Even in the dark, when you’re alone with your thoughts. God is there, working in your life.

The plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations.

Pslam 33: 11