Tag: Self-control

In God’s Hands

Are you burdened by a situation that you know you should place in God’s hands, yet you aren’t sure how to trust God with it? Here is advice and encouragement.

Have you ever felt out of control in either a situation or relationship, and someone gave you the advice, “Just put it in God’s hands” ? It can be really frustrating to get this advice because while it’s well-meaning, it’s hard to know how to put it in God’s hands. And once we figure out how, letting go is extremely difficult as well.

So what does putting something in God’s hands even mean?

This phrase goes hand in hand with the definition of surrender. When we surrender something, we are no longer in control of it. And when it comes to our lives, especially the people in our lives, we are never really in control of them in the first place. Yet we are giving that feeling of being in control to God and trusting Him with it. Sometimes, that process of surrender comes in taking a risk, being proactive in a situation. Other times, it means stepping back and being patient, maybe even letting go and moving on.

Last year, I struggled with giving God a friendship that was burdening my heart. This friend was going through a lot, yet I was unable to communicate with her. I went through seasons of bitterness and anger over what felt unfair, cruel even. I went through times of grief and longing for what used to be. But I wouldn’t–couldn’t–give up. I was determined.

If you know me, you know I’m (in the positive description) perseverant, and (in the negative description) stubborn. Sometimes, that can be a really good thing. But often it makes letting go extremely difficult. Perhaps you can relate to the feeling of failure that comes with letting go. That overwhelming ache of loss.

Yet, in this situation, I felt God beside me, telling me to put this person, who I cared so deeply about, into His hands. And finally, I released her. I put her in His hands and tried to trust that whatever came next would be from God.

Do you ever pray for God to take hold of a situation, and instead of feeling at peace with whatever happens next, you wait for what you want to happen to finally happen? I’ll admit to experiencing this. Sometimes, we’re tempted to just say the right words so that our plan can come into play rather than God’s. Of course, life doesn’t work like that. God knows what’s really going on in our hearts. But it can be awfully disappointing when things don’t go the way we want.

At this point in my story, I was ready to fully surrender my friend. When I prayed those words, I truly meant them. And guess what? For a few short weeks, it felt like it worked. I was miraculously able to get back in touch with her and we picked up right where we left off. We were even going to see each other again. I praised God and thought, “Wow, putting things in God’s hands really does work!”.

But then a painful thing happened between us (which I will spare you the details of) which devastated me. I felt even worse and confused as this person was taken away from me once again. I was upset at God and doubted that putting things in His hands was the right thing to do after all.

And this is where putting something in God’s hands really comes to the test. The key to putting something or someone in God’s hands is trusting Him fully with it. It means when things don’t go the way we want, and even if we are left with disappointing results, we still know that God is in control. We are still trusting that God knows what’s best and that He still cares about everyone involved.

It’s taken me more than a month to come to terms with this. It’s not something that can be done overnight. Putting our lives in God’s hands is a daily process. It starts with dedicating the day to God in the morning, checking in with Him throughout the day, and reflecting with Him at night. It means living out “Thy will be done”, even when things don’t go the way we hope.

And that’s really hard. It’s really hard when it feels like nothing is going right. It’s really hard when we trust God, and it feels like He’s let us down. It’s really hard to know that He’s still here and He still cares when everything is falling apart around us.

But I can promise you one thing–God never changes. The God who has given you everything you have and sacrificed everything out of His love for you is the same God who is waiting to pick up the pieces after you go through the storms of life. God doesn’t want to hurt you, but He wants to help you grow closer to Him. Sometimes that means letting go of people. Sometimes that means stepping out of a situation. Sometimes that means even feeling alone for a season.

However, you are never alone. The reason we can trust God with whatever we’re going through is because He has proven Himself over and over again. Just think, the things that were burdening you a year ago have changed. Perhaps they are even resolved, or on the road to healing. You are growing and changing and developing godly characteristics. We often can only see the single step ahead of us, but God is focused on both the past, the present, and the future.

When we fix our eyes on the end, we can trust God with the steps it takes to get there. So today, give God whatever is burdening you. Allow yourself to rest and find peace in the here and now. And remember that no matter what, what’s ahead is better than what is gone. Don’t give up. ❤

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:6-7

Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them.

Hebrews 7:25

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

How Self-Control Can Change Our Relationships

Do you need to see humanity in a new light? Here’s some encouragement.

            While listening to First, by Lauren Daigle, I made the mistake of scrolling through the comments. Sometimes I come across an inspirational story or a timely Bible verse this way. The first comment was made by a young fan who compared Lauren Daigle to a pop singer, saying that Lauren Daigle was the better version because she’s a gospel singer. The way the fan expressed her appreciation for Lauren Daigle was sweet and not demeaning in the least. However, in the responses to this comment, there is a very lengthy disagreement that started out somewhat innocent and ended up being long, hurtful paragraphs against each other. As I got caught up in reading their argument, the song suddenly ended, and I hadn’t really heard any of it. I minimized the comments, replayed the song, and realized I needed to blog about this.

            Both of those people missed opportunities to show God’s love to others. One used verses to condemn; another claimed that love was the only thing that mattered, yet nothing else they said was loving. Hypocrisy is a huge turn-off for unbelievers, and for good reason. When we don’t follow through with what we claim to believe, then what’s the incentive for others to want what we have: faith?

            When we get obsessed about the little things, the inconveniences of life, we miss out on the beauty of it. More importantly, when we let worldly things get to us, like an insensitive person or even a confused one, we miss out on being good witnesses for Jesus. We lose sight of what’s really important. I am legitimately terrified that Internet arguments are going to be the biggest factor in deterring people from Jesus in this generation. They may already be.

            I read an essay the other day talking about how people turn into wild animals when behind the wheel. They spew out language they never would utter under normal circumstances, but when road rage captures them…oh boy…

            Screens have the same effect as a windshield. We feel protected, hidden. We don’t even know the people on the other side of the screen, yet we feel free to call them hurtful names and assume they are monsters. But guess what? At the end of the day, we are all still human. We all have those moments of setting down our phone, crying over something a stranger on the Internet said. We are real, and so are they.

            Self-control is so underrated these days. We want to have control over other people, but guess what, we don’t. The only one we have control over is ourselves. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, one of the key factors in people knowing we’re living for Jesus.

            Self-control isn’t just being patient or understanding. Self-control is refraining from arguing with a stranger on social media. It’s not sharing that insensitive post that made you laugh. It’s taking the time to think before clicking send or responding to others in person. It’s allowing Jesus to take control, really.

            If you want to see humanity in a new, better light, then exercise self-control. Listen to others. Put yourself in their shoes. Allow your eyes to be washed clean and restored. When a blind man asked Jesus for healing, instead of snapping His fingers and saying, “You can see now”, He made a paste using spit and mud and put that on the man’s eyes instead. He made him go through a process in order to really have new sight, and the man was healed.

            Today, ask for Jesus to give you a fresh outlook on the world. Sometimes, it takes going through something messy or gross, like mud-spit, before we can really understand people the way Jesus does. But you know what? It’s always worth it.

Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.

Proverbs 16:32

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Proverbs 18:21

Holy Week Series: The Pain of Humiliation

How can we learn from Jesus’ example when experiencing humiliating situations?

Today is Good Friday, when Jesus was mocked, flogged, and ultimately killed, events that we should all agree are anything but “good”. There are so many points I could share in this post about Good Friday, but what I’ll focus on today will be the utter humiliation Jesus had to experience before being crucified.

In a study by Psychology Today, they found that when you’re humiliated, “the degree to which your brain is activated is more pronounced than with other emotion-inducing conditions”. I often wonder how much physical pain we’d be willing to endure in order to avoid humiliation. Often during studies of Good Friday, there’s a lot of focus on the physical torturing Jesus experienced. And He went through so many things that no one should experience, not to mention the Son of God! He was flogged, had a crown of thorns put on His head, was struck on the head with a wooden staff, forced to carry a cross that was estimated to have weighed over 300 pounds, hung on a cross with nails pierced into His flesh, and later stabbed in the side with a sword. Even experiencing one of those things would be traumatizing and incredibly painful, yet Jesus endured them all.

But you know what might have hurt even more? Being the most powerful Being in the entire universe, being the Creator of us all, and being spit on, mocked at, striped of clothes, and ultimately feeling the weight of people’s unbelief in who He really is. He died because He is our King, our Messiah. It was out of the “self-interest” or “envy” of His betrayers that He was killed (Matt. 27:18).

And if you think about it, that’s why humiliation exists, huh? If we are envious of someone, we are tempted to put them down in order to feel better about ourselves. Sometimes when we hurt others by humiliating them, it’s because we are putting our needs above theirs. We’d rather get things done quickly, so we don’t phrase things the right way and it stings. We’d rather not deal with the messiness of Christ-centered relationships, so we just dump people. We’d rather think we know everything than admit that someone else is right.

On the flip side, when we are being humiliated, it’s easy for us to get upset at God or others. We don’t believe we deserve the humiliation (and we don’t when others intentionally humiliate us). But still, we can find strength to endure the times when we are humbled through seeing how Jesus responded to being humiliated. And let’s be honest, I highly doubt (and I certainly hope) that any of us will go through what Jesus went through.

Yet, through it all, Jesus was:

  • Self-controlled

Like He told His disciples, He could’ve sent a legion of angels there to defend Him. He had the power to destroy everyone in a single second. He could’ve revealed the deepest, darkest secrets of the people mocking Him. We might be tempted to take revenge against those who humiliate us, but instead we should follow His example and use self-control.

  • Silent

Now, I’m not telling you to suffer in silence if someone is hurting you. Please speak up if you are in a bad situation so that you can be helped.

However, if you are in a humbling situation, instead of getting all upset and egging on the people who are humiliating you, try Jesus’ approach of being quiet. Allow yourself to be filled with God’s love and peace instead of anger and discouragement.

  • Living out “Thy will be done”

Right before Jesus was arrested, He told His Father that while He would rather not suffer through all these painful things, He wanted God’s will to be done. We often pray that same prayer, yet how often do we actually believe it? Aren’t we easily swayed by our own timetables and frustrated when things don’t happen when or how we want them to?

Instead of being fixated on your plan, turn your eyes and heart to God’s plan for your life. Allow your prayer to be sincere and be open to what God wants you to do with your life.

A fact that may encourage you is that while being humiliated causes us to experience many difficult emotions, “the way you feel is a direct function of the way you think” (Psychology Today). Jesus was able to endure all those terrible things because He knew who He was (and is!). He’s Jesus, the One who will rise up again in three days, the One who will defeat the Enemy. When we remember who we are, when we find our worth in who God says we are rather than who the world defines us as, the affects of humiliation will be learning from our mistakes and solidifying who we are in Christ rather than pain, grief, or discouragement.

Today, thank Jesus for all the hardships He endured to save you. He loves you so much. When you are in humiliating situations, remember Jesus’ love for you and don’t take those harsh words of others to heart.

How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.

Psalm 36:7

9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

1 John 4:9-10