I firmly believe you have immense value, you are loved, and we should do whatever we can to encourage each other. But one thing I will never stand behind is the false belief that we have the power to save ourselves.
Usually, this lie isn’t delivered this bluntly. It’s packaged in phrases like “I am my own hero” and “I am the only one I can rely on” and “The only one who can help me is me“.
When we first get tempted to believe this lie, we may feel refreshed, happier than we’ve ever been. But over time, we become even more drained than before, wondering what went wrong, and having even less self-confidence than before.
How do I know this is true? Because I’ve tried it, my friend, and it doesn’t do any good.
A few years ago, I was in a situation that left me feeling rejected and unimportant. So where did I go with my wounded pride? Social media.
Scrolling through positive self-confidence feeds until all I could repeat were those mantras. I believe repeating positive phrases is important, but not when they cause us to fixate on ourselves and rely on false strength.
At the end of it, I felt invigorated, ready to conquer the world and bash all those people who had hurt me. I’m a better version of me now, I thought. I can do anything!
As time went on, I began harboring more and more resentment towards the people who made me feel less-than. My focus wasn’t on helping myself; it was on seeking revenge.
Have you ever heard the phrase, “The best revenge is living a life worth being jealous of?”
No–don’t live a good, fulfilling life that way. Why? Because you can’t live an honest, purposeful life while constantly looking over your shoulder to make sure others are admiring it!
Live a life you are thankful for and proud of so that you can know you’ve made a difference in the world for the greater good…for God’s good.
So what finally got me out of this resentful, self-consumed mindset? Actually spending time with the people who had hurt me.
After one conversation, my feelings fizzled away. I was humbly reminded that I wasn’t the only one going through tough things. That yes, my feelings mattered, but they don’t dictate everyone’s lives and they shouldn’t be the sole ruler of mine.
That night, I felt stripped of any false confidence and strength I possessed before. Instead, I was convicted of the bitter, awful feelings buried in my heart.
Those feelings weren’t pleasant. I’d prefer not to relive them, even though I have been convicted of these things since then. But you know, by the end of it, I felt even better than I had before.
I was finally at the root of my problems. It wasn’t really about trying to improve myself; it was about the hurt and rejection I had experienced that led me to believe I wasn’t worthy in the first place.
But that just isn’t true, for either of us.
After admitting the core of my problems to God, I felt clean. I felt made new. I felt like I was finally getting somewhere in life.
Ultimately, I felt like God was using me again.
The saddest part about believing we can save ourselves is how it influences our relationship with God. God is the only One who can save us. He’s the only One who could’ve created us to begin with! So how can we possibly take credit for the work only our Divine Savior can accomplish?
It’s tempting to believe we are our only saviors when life doesn’t go the way we hope. It’s tempting to turn to positive mantras, colorful reassurances, and all the things that give us a temporary confidence boost.
But God never promises that life will be easy or that our prayers will be answered the way we hoped or within our timetable. God gives us a greater promise: that His will is going to be done, that He is always with us, and that we have nothing to fear.
I’m urging you now, before you become somebody you are not, to release your wounds and deep feelings to God. Allow yourself to feel disappointed or scared or overwhelmed with grief. Once you admit how you feel and that you are only truly strong through God, you will begin to feel better knowing that you are not alone.
Though none of us can save ourselves, you do have the power to help yourself. So help yourself today by resting and being vulnerable with Jesus, as well as those who also love you. I know that you can get through this, one step at a time. Remember, you are worth what it takes to truly heal ❤
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:8-10
The Will to Wake Up 