I stood at the edge of the curb, rain dripping down my back, one earbud hanging loose over my shoulder. Angry, confused, wondering what was wrong with me.
And then soft words, as though an angel were singing in my ear, flowed through my remaining earbud:
You are not hidden
Lauren Daigle, “Rescue”
There’s never been a moment
You were forgotten.
That was four years ago, and yet her words never cease to haunt me. In the most comforting way possible, of course. But it’s funny how someone’s simple words can reach into your soul and pull something out that you never thought possible.
I’ve come to notice a trend in theology classes: they always start with Genesis. No surprise there. But this year, after reading these chapters countless times, my professor brought something new to light.
The first time we hear God speak to Adam and Eve, He asks, “Where are you?”. And this question, my professor remarked, is what God continues to ask humanity throughout history. Even now, each day, God might ask this of us.
It’s weird how difficult it is to answer that question. I mean, there’s the simple answer, “I’m at ___ address”, or even if you were to take it metaphorically, “I’m at peace in my life right now”.
Yet I don’t think I really had an answer until I didn’t know where I was geographically.
I was sitting in my room–which had only been “mine” for a few days–in Cambridge, overlooking a river full of punting boats and swans. I couldn’t tell you where to find me or how to get anywhere other than the local grocery store from there. And yet, as I took a deep, steady breath, I finally knew where I was. I wasn’t in hiding anymore.
Last week, I sat alone on the grass on my university’s campus watching the bright yellow leaves float down around me. This campus has engulfed me in loneliness, gripped me with terror, and coated me with shame. And yet, I could finally sit comfortably where anyone could see me and feel well.
God doesn’t ask Where are you because He wants to “get us” for our sin or pile on guilt. God asks because He wants to be in relationship with us, and we can’t have a loving, open relationship without being brave enough to present our full selves. To come out of hiding. To be honest about how we truly feel and what we’ve become.
Ultimately, God asks this of us because He never forgets us. He remembers us. Through the tears that came down with the thunder and lightning roaring inside to the quiet moments where no one knew we were hurting.
God remembers us in the joyful moments, the excitement that no one else can truly understand but Him. In the meaningful connections, the smile after the conversation is long since over, the memory that keeps us alive.
While we’ll always be remembered by God, we can’t feel remembered until we step into the light and allow God’s love to cover any inadequacies we still face.
Today, I hope you can believe that you are not forgotten. God loves you so much and He will never let you go.
I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life.
Genesis 9:15
The Will to Wake Up 