Tag: Relationships

Refocusing Our Conversations with God

Are you frustrated by your prayer times, feeling as though you’re having a one-sided conversation? Here’s some advice and encouragement for your conversations with God.

Were you the type of student who raised your hand the second an idea popped into your head? It didn’t matter when the idea emerged–it just had to be shared! Whether you were that student or not, I’m sure you can remember your teacher’s response. If you had a good teacher, they likely politely told you to patiently wait and put your hand down until it was time for sharing responses. Teachers don’t want their students wildly waving their arms during instruction time because they know that the students aren’t listening when they are focused only on what they want to say.

Looking back, I’m sure you can agree that what you had to say wasn’t quite as important as what the teacher had to say. Growing up with a parent as a preschool teacher, I’ve heard my fair share of random circle time stories. Usually they are completely off-topic, and while interesting, don’t contribute much to the lesson time. Whether a student is giving an answer or sharing a story, the teacher likely doesn’t learn anything from what the student says . Rather, they allow the student to share for the student’s benefit.

Students come to school in order to hear what their teacher has to say. Their teacher has years of wisdom and are designed to prioritize their students’ needs, while students, particularly younger ones, only have their own interests in mind. Teachers can see the long road of learning ahead of their students, while the students can merely focus on their daily course work.

Though it’s easy to laugh at our younger selves in this scenario, the truth is, our conversations with God often mimic the way teachers interact with their students. We, the students, often run to God with whatever new desire or need comes up, usually right when God is trying to teach us something. He wants to hear what we have to say, but more importantly He wants us to listen and focus on what He’s trying to tell us.

God is the only one who can see the future and know what course is best for us to take. So naturally, it would make sense to follow His leading rather than going with whatever brilliant idea pops into our heads first.

However, we get so fixated on what we want, especially during our prayer time, that we forget to keep our hearts and minds open to God’s leading. What percentage of your prayer time is talking to God? You probably would say 100%, right? Well, what if it was 50/50, spending at least half the time listening to God rather than just talking? Or, what if most of your time with God was listening to Him rather than speaking?

That can be hard because listening feels less productive than talking. We are required to be still and patient when we are listening to God. Listening requires trusting God enough to believe He knows what we need more than we do. Yet listening is a verb, an action word. We must be proactive in order to listen by reading the Bible, noticing what the Holy Spirit is causing us to feel passionately about, and hearing from wise biblical counsel.

There are many different ways to hear from God. There isn’t exactly one “better” way than another, though I will say reading the Bible is a key part in knowing what God desires for you. The most important thing is always being on alert to what God is trying to tell you. You don’t have to be in a church or on a mountain top or at a retreat in order to feel God’s presence. Rather, you can be sitting in your car, waiting for someone, or laying awake at night. God can meet you everywhere.

Today, instead of going about your prayer time the way you normally do, take time to listen to what God is teaching you. Reflect on what He is doing in your life, what promises He has revealed to you, and where He is leading you next. Perhaps He will place a particular person on your heart who needs your love. Maybe He wishes to fill your heart with peace and give you rest from all the things stressing you out.

No matter where you’re coming from today, God will meet you exactly where you’re at.

Whoever is of God hears the words of God. 

John 8:47

So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.

Romans 10:17

In God’s Hands

Are you burdened by a situation that you know you should place in God’s hands, yet you aren’t sure how to trust God with it? Here is advice and encouragement.

Have you ever felt out of control in either a situation or relationship, and someone gave you the advice, “Just put it in God’s hands” ? It can be really frustrating to get this advice because while it’s well-meaning, it’s hard to know how to put it in God’s hands. And once we figure out how, letting go is extremely difficult as well.

So what does putting something in God’s hands even mean?

This phrase goes hand in hand with the definition of surrender. When we surrender something, we are no longer in control of it. And when it comes to our lives, especially the people in our lives, we are never really in control of them in the first place. Yet we are giving that feeling of being in control to God and trusting Him with it. Sometimes, that process of surrender comes in taking a risk, being proactive in a situation. Other times, it means stepping back and being patient, maybe even letting go and moving on.

Last year, I struggled with giving God a friendship that was burdening my heart. This friend was going through a lot, yet I was unable to communicate with her. I went through seasons of bitterness and anger over what felt unfair, cruel even. I went through times of grief and longing for what used to be. But I wouldn’t–couldn’t–give up. I was determined.

If you know me, you know I’m (in the positive description) perseverant, and (in the negative description) stubborn. Sometimes, that can be a really good thing. But often it makes letting go extremely difficult. Perhaps you can relate to the feeling of failure that comes with letting go. That overwhelming ache of loss.

Yet, in this situation, I felt God beside me, telling me to put this person, who I cared so deeply about, into His hands. And finally, I released her. I put her in His hands and tried to trust that whatever came next would be from God.

Do you ever pray for God to take hold of a situation, and instead of feeling at peace with whatever happens next, you wait for what you want to happen to finally happen? I’ll admit to experiencing this. Sometimes, we’re tempted to just say the right words so that our plan can come into play rather than God’s. Of course, life doesn’t work like that. God knows what’s really going on in our hearts. But it can be awfully disappointing when things don’t go the way we want.

At this point in my story, I was ready to fully surrender my friend. When I prayed those words, I truly meant them. And guess what? For a few short weeks, it felt like it worked. I was miraculously able to get back in touch with her and we picked up right where we left off. We were even going to see each other again. I praised God and thought, “Wow, putting things in God’s hands really does work!”.

But then a painful thing happened between us (which I will spare you the details of) which devastated me. I felt even worse and confused as this person was taken away from me once again. I was upset at God and doubted that putting things in His hands was the right thing to do after all.

And this is where putting something in God’s hands really comes to the test. The key to putting something or someone in God’s hands is trusting Him fully with it. It means when things don’t go the way we want, and even if we are left with disappointing results, we still know that God is in control. We are still trusting that God knows what’s best and that He still cares about everyone involved.

It’s taken me more than a month to come to terms with this. It’s not something that can be done overnight. Putting our lives in God’s hands is a daily process. It starts with dedicating the day to God in the morning, checking in with Him throughout the day, and reflecting with Him at night. It means living out “Thy will be done”, even when things don’t go the way we hope.

And that’s really hard. It’s really hard when it feels like nothing is going right. It’s really hard when we trust God, and it feels like He’s let us down. It’s really hard to know that He’s still here and He still cares when everything is falling apart around us.

But I can promise you one thing–God never changes. The God who has given you everything you have and sacrificed everything out of His love for you is the same God who is waiting to pick up the pieces after you go through the storms of life. God doesn’t want to hurt you, but He wants to help you grow closer to Him. Sometimes that means letting go of people. Sometimes that means stepping out of a situation. Sometimes that means even feeling alone for a season.

However, you are never alone. The reason we can trust God with whatever we’re going through is because He has proven Himself over and over again. Just think, the things that were burdening you a year ago have changed. Perhaps they are even resolved, or on the road to healing. You are growing and changing and developing godly characteristics. We often can only see the single step ahead of us, but God is focused on both the past, the present, and the future.

When we fix our eyes on the end, we can trust God with the steps it takes to get there. So today, give God whatever is burdening you. Allow yourself to rest and find peace in the here and now. And remember that no matter what, what’s ahead is better than what is gone. Don’t give up. ❤

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:6-7

Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them.

Hebrews 7:25

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

Our Need for Light

We will grow from all our experiences, but how can we make sure that growth produces good things?

I’ve had my fair share of experiences with mold, my most recent involving my electric toothbrush. There’s a little divot in the plastic where the bottom of the toothbrush rests when I’m not using it, and over time, the darkness and the dampness in that spot has created an orangish gook (yes, I’m definitely using the technical terms here). I must say, it’s rather disconcerting seeing this gook on the bottom of the instrument that’s meant to clean my mouth. When the gook first appeared, I wiped it and it went away. But the lazier I got about cleaning it, the worse the gook became.

None of us would want to be compared to mold. Come on, it’s disgusting, a super nauseating color, and such an odd, disturbing texture. Yet sometimes, the fruit from our lives takes the form of mold rather than beautiful flowers or delicious fruit.

You may be wondering what I mean by the “fruit of our lives”. Well, Jesus actually uses fruit when describing how people will know we are Christians. He says, “By their fruits, you will know them.” (Matthew 7:20) Our fruits are essentially our legacy. Are we helping others? Are we making a difference? It doesn’t have to be changing the whole world, but are we at least making a difference in the lives of people around us? Are we known for being kind, generous, and patient? What kinds of fruits are we producing through our growth?

Growth. There’s the key word. The only way any fruit can be produced is when we grow. Now, God can certainly work through pleasant situations as well as painful ones, but if you look back on your life, you can probably see how memorable the painful lessons were. It was when you were lonely that God revealed you are never alone. It was when you were grieving that the verse “And Jesus wept” suddenly meant something to you as you realized that Jesus was crying alongside you. It was when you were broken that you searched for healing from the ultimate Healer. Jesus is the one who can light our path and cultivate good fruit from all of our experiences.

The thing is, we can technically grow in both the light and the dark. But when we grow in the dark, away from God’s counsel, away from people who care about us, away from wisdom, we end up producing mold. When we huddle in our own messes, unwilling to cleanse ourselves, unwilling to do the difficult work it takes to learn from our mistakes, we end up worse than how we started.

But when we grow in the light, we can produce beautiful fruit. We can become pops of color in a dismal, gray world. We can bloom like sunflowers, bringing joy to everyone we know. We can bring peace and comfort, like lilies, to those in need. We can bring nourishment and delight, like the fruit sitting in your fruit bowl right now.

When we allow the light to pour in, we begin to reflect the goodness of God.

You see, my friend, no matter what situation you’re in, you will grow. Difficulties, stress, and pain are bound to change us. But wouldn’t you want something good to come from those things? Wouldn’t you rather be a source of hope rather than wallow in self-pity?

But only you get to choose which path you’ll take. Will you allow God to move through you, shaping you into the person you are meant to be? It will take time. It may even take additional pain before you can see what God’s doing. But isn’t the good fruit worth it?

Today, ask yourself whether you’re growing in light or in darkness. It’s not too late to remove the moldy parts of your life and start over. God has the divine cleaning tools of forgiveness, grace, and mercy. He is more than ready to be the light you desperately crave.

He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

James 1:18

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said: “Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.

Ephesians 5:8-14

What Does Justice Truly Look Like?

You may be unsure how to look at justice, especially in light of recent events and controversies. Yet, through Jonah’s story from the Old Testament, we can learn how to go about achieving justice in the way God intended.

Justice. A word that’s been thrown around a lot recently, and for good reason. Between recognizing the need for racial reconciliation, the attacks on democracy and freedom in many countries, and most recently, the devastating acts taken against innocent people in Afghanistan.

Yet, within the church, there’s much division over the idea of justice. Some argue that we shouldn’t fight for justice because that’s not our place. Others think that if people don’t do everything within their power to achieve equity, they are not Christian. Lots of arguments have been made, but very few healthy discussions.

You may be wondering where you should stand on the justice issue. Is it wrong to fight for justice when we’re supposed to trust God? Should justice be our number one priority?

Well, I can’t give you an exact, step-by-step answer. The amount of effort you should make in any situation should depend on what God tells you through prayer, reading the Bible, and trusted people in your life who understand the situation fully. However, in this space here, I want to have an open discussion about justice. I’ve been thinking about it in light of current events, and after reading the books of Jonah and Nahum.

According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, justice is “the maintenance or administration of what is just especially by the impartial adjustment of conflicting claims or the assignment of merited rewards or punishments”.

Sometimes, just looking at what a word actually means can help us understand an issue better. The word that stands out to me is “impartial”. Often, when we stake a claim on an issue, we refuse to see the other side. “What’s there to see,” we rationalize. “My side is the only humane side! If I expose myself to the other side, I’ll get brainwashed!”

The main issue when we get fixated on the way we see the world is that when people don’t receive the punishment we believe they deserve, we get angry at God. It doesn’t seem fair for them to get away so easily! If only we were in charge…

And, in certain issues, that would really make sense, wouldn’t it? Especially when innocent people are getting hurt.

God wants us to care about those who are weak, marginalized, and oppressed. In fact, Jesus calls us to do exactly that, by following His example. He demonstrated this unconditional love countless times, particularly when He came to Earth and spent time with the outcasts in society.

But as much as He wants us to care about others, He wants us to care about our relationship with Him. And one of the biggest keys to a healthy relationship is building it on trust. Trusting God is not passive; it requires active participation and listening to what God is calling us to do. Yet it isn’t easy when God is calling us to love our enemies rather than punish them.

Take Jonah’s situation for example. Jonah often gets a bad rap, and for good reason, right? On the surface, his story is all about the consequences of disobeying God, acting selfishly, and without grace. I was even more furious at him when I learned the real reason why he didn’t want to go to Ninevah. He knew that God would save those people. He hated them so much that he didn’t want them to be saved!

However, as I took a deeper look into Jonah’s story, I realized something that’s a little painful. The reason many of us, or at least I, tend to look down on Jonah is because I’m guilty of being similar to him in certain situations.

Just think about it: Jonah’s desires weren’t all that crazy. He hated the Ninevites for good reason. They were the enemy of his people. They were known to be violent and haters of God. God doesn’t take destroying a city lightly, so the fact that this was a viable threat to them shows the seriousness of the situation. Jonah saw injustice and he wanted justice to be served.

And, I’ll go so far to say, justice was served. Just…not in the way Jonah expected.

Jonah does everything he can to achieve justice his way. His act of running away may have looked like an act of fear, yet it was really strategic on his part. He was doing what he felt was right to keep his own people safe. But after his rather “fishy” experience of being saved by God’s grace, Jonah goes on to do exactly as God commanded him to do. Afterwards, he sits up on a hill in the scorching sun, where God provides him a tree, and waits for God to do His “justice thing”.

But nope. No raining fire down from Heaven or giant explosion. Nothing. Oh, except for the tree withering, which causes Jonah to have a meltdown. I always used to look down on Jonah for acting so childishly, yet when everything seems to be going wrong, it’s easy to break down and protest over the tiniest inconvenience.

To us, God’s justice seems to be the best option in this situation. People’s hearts were changed by Jonah’s words, which saves more lives than if God had destroyed the city. Then, in Nahum, we learn that when God knew the later generations of Ninevites wouldn’t have soft hearts, He ended up destroying the city, which is exactly what Jonah had wanted. Yet only God knew which hearts would change, and because of His never-ending grace, He gave the people the time they needed to grow.

But to Jonah, who could only see a sliver of what God could see, the situation was dire. Nothing seemed fair, and that’s the thing about God’s grace, it isn’t fair. But the unfairness doesn’t happen to us, necessarily. It happens to God. It isn’t fair to God to send His only Son to die for us. It isn’t fair to God to save Jonah after he disobeyed and disrespected Him. It isn’t fair to God to rescue violent people and give them a second chance. Yet it’s through His love and knowledge that’s distributed equally to us that He allows unfairness to exist. And through that wisdom, His justice is served.

The unrepentant people will be punished, even if not on Earth. But the ones whose hearts accept Jesus will be saved. And we should simply be thankful for that.

Yet, though we call for equal rights, we are often angry by God’s equal love. We don’t like that God loves people on the other side as much as He loves us. We don’t like that God gives second chances. We don’t like that our enemy has the same opportunities that we have to God’s mercy and forgiveness.

We, my friends, are like Jonah. We have received God’s grace. We have received numerous chances. We are given more than what we can possibly ask for, yet we often focus our eyes on what seems unfair to us.

I am extremely guilty of only paying attention to the present trials. I often forget that our God is a God of the future, the present, and the past. God has proven Himself time and time again. He wants us to understand that justice will be served, but not in our way, in His way. And His way is always right.

Why, you may ask, is His way always right? Because He is the only one who can comprehend the bigger picture. It’s honestly a wonderful thing to not have to be burdened with the knowledge of everything. God is freeing us from that burden and allowing us to simply be present in the lives of those around us. He wants us to continue calling out to Him, to yearn for justice, but for that justice to be out of His love and grace and discernment.

I don’t want you to stop seeking justice. I don’t want you to stop caring about people in need. That wouldn’t be biblical at all.

What I want, however, is for us to long for what God wants. I don’t want us to waste our lives second-guessing God’s choices. God knows exactly what He’s doing, and it’s for the greater good. I am praying for us to have peace as we do as much as we can to show others God’s love and realize that’s enough.

God is a God of justice and He will never fail.

When my life was ebbing away,

    I remembered you, Lord,

and my prayer rose to you,

    to your holy temple.

Jonah 2:7

I knew that you are a graciousand compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. 

Jonah 4:2

The Lord is slow to anger but great in power;

    the Lord will not leave the guilty unpunished.

Nahum 1:3

When Life Comes to a Stand Still

Do you feel stuck, like life is passing you by without any meaning? Here’s hope for the slow-moving times.

Did you know that we (assuming you’re on Earth 😉) are currently moving at 1000 miles per hour around the sun? That’s faster than any roller coaster, mode of transportation, or animal on our planet. Yet, as I stare at the unmoving objects on my desk, it sure doesn’t feel like we’re spinning around at crazy fast speeds. But here we are, changing with each passing minute, time ticking away.

I once heard the old proverb, “Life stops for no one, not even you.” Yet sometimes, it feels like life is at a standstill. We haven’t received the result that could change everything. We haven’t heard back from the person we’re worried about. We haven’t gotten all the answers, the purpose behind our pain. It feels like God is keeping something from us, the key to our contentment.

But here’s the thing: once we get that answer or achieve that goal, we will just move on to something else. If we don’t focus on the growth that happens during the waiting, we miss out on making the most of every season of our lives, even the slow, painful ones.

The truth is, despite how you might feel, a lot is happening. Inside of you, you are deepening your relationship with God. By listening to Him, you are becoming more mature, compassionate, and understanding. During this time, if you spend time with Jesus, you will begin to develop His characteristics. He is equipping you for the important task ahead. On the outside, things are happening behind the scenes that you don’t know about. Maybe they aren’t happening the way you expect, but developments are being made.

You will not be stuck in this season forever. So instead of seeing yourself as helpless, realize that maybe you can even rejoice during this time. There is truly no wasted season when it comes to God’s plans. He understands exactly the amount of time it will take for you to grow into the person He needs you to be.

You are growing. You are changing. You are becoming someone the younger version of you would be proud of. Spend today thanking God for all He is doing in your life and remember that there is so much more to come. ❤

We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.

Psalm 33:20

Lord, I wait for you; you will answer, Lord my God.

Psalm 38:15

I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.

Psalm 130:5

Song Recommendation: 2009, by Sarah Reeves: https://youtu.be/_GGdl257Fzk

All Together

Do you find it difficult to relate to people who seem to have it all together? Is it tempting to only share the parts of your life that are going well?

Recently, I’ve heard a lot of people note how, especially within the church, we are inclined to share how we successfully made it through past pain and difficulties, yet we are reluctant to reveal how we don’t have it all together in the present. The more I’ve thought about this, the truer it sounds. When we pretend like we have everything figured out, we are doing a disservice to both ourselves and the people witnessing our spiritual journey.

The truth is, no one has life figured out completely. They may look like they do, but they really don’t. Last week, I had lunch with an old friend, and we were discussing our plans for the next year. She eagerly shared how she would be joining a smaller community which she described as “nerdy”, which she looked forward to being a part of. I remarked that meant she wouldn’t feel like she had to keep up an image of having it all together. She laughed and replied, “When have I ever looked like I’ve had it all together?”

This is coming from someone who had the perfect grades in school, a great family, a comfortable home, played on a pro soccer team, nearly published a book at age 18, and had a decent sized friend group. To the outside observer, yeah, she did seem like she had it all together.

Prior to her confession of not “having it all together”, I assumed she saw herself as a successful, brilliant young woman with a bright future ahead of her. In fact, I was even a little intimidated by her as I thought about how far she had come in her goals while I felt so far back. Yet in that moment, I realized how truly terrible it is when we assume others have it better than we do.

When we see someone win a gold medal or receive a promotion, we don’t always hear about the sweat and tears it took to get where they are today. When we enviously watch others find the love of their lives or a boss who finally respects them, we don’t know about all the people who have rejected them or belittled them in the past. The point is, we don’t each others’ full stories. Even if everyone read a memoir written by everyone else, we still wouldn’t know each others’ daily thoughts and struggles. There’s no way we can take on that kind of responsibility.

That’s why it’s important to focus on the tasks God has given us specifically to do instead of looking over our shoulders at people who seem to have it better.

Additionally, when given the opportunity to share our testimonies, whether in front of a small group or one-on-one with a friend, we need to honest about how God is using our daily lives. That includes our setbacks, our moments of wondering whether or not we really overcame our past fear or regret. It also includes appreciating the little joys of each day, knowing that they may fade away tomorrow, yet we can still enjoy them in the moment.

Today, let yourself be vulnerable where you are being called to be vulnerable. Obviously, not everyone is in a place to hear about the deeper parts of your story. However, when God is calling you to share your story, don’t allow the temptation to appear as perfect as possible take over. Remember how the relatable messages of others have resonated with you. People can’t learn from human “perfection”. However, we can learn from the truths buried inside life’s ups and downs.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Ephesians 4:29

If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

John 15:7

Song Recommendation: All Together, by Mike Donehey: https://youtu.be/IV2PdVlcUDw

Don’t Forget the Constant

Do you ever feel an emptiness inside you that you’re longing to fill?

Humans are created with an innate desire to have an intimate relationship with another being. I use the term “being” lightly, because it’s not always a person. Sometimes it’s the obvious of a romantic partner; other times it’s the desire to have a close friend, mentor, or even an emotional support pet. Sometimes the “being” is a hobby or activity or lifestyle.

I’ve spent much of my life searching. Searching for a close friend, searching for romance at times, searching for a spiritual mentor, searching for someone who will fulfill this ache.

Now, you might be thinking, come on, Hannah, God’s always there. Was this “searching” happening before you came to faith?

Honestly, no. It started a few years ago, or at least consciously started at that time. That was right during the beginning of my deeper relationship with God. It was during a season of loneliness that I realized two things:

  1. That I really need God
  2. And that I really wanted someone (a person) to fill this void inside me

Over the past two months, I’ve learned a lot about some people I’ve held (and still hold) in high regard. I counted on them, and to be honest, they let me down. But I also saw a new side to them, and I’m thankful to know the whole picture so that I can better understand them. Yet it’s been really hard realizing that I can’t count on these people that I had hoped would fill the void.

I jumped from person to person in the hopes of finally finding someone who respected me, who enjoyed deep conversations, and who could be there for me emotionally and spiritually. I’d find someone for a season, and then they moved on. But what I longed for was a permanent person.

And today I hit rock bottom. Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but the build up of some hard things finally toppled me over. I had to take a deep breath and deal with my feelings. And that’s when I came to an important realization: I had been trying to fill God’s place with a person. That’s why I never felt satisfied.

Not only that, but I started to think of a few people I’ve taken for granted. A few close friends, good listeners with a steady presence, who have been constants in my life. Yet I discounted them during my search because I wanted something “bigger”. I wanted someone who would take God’s place, someone tangible with quick responses.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how God used my loneliest seasons to bring me closer to Him. He wasn’t bringing me through those times to be cruel, but to give me what my heart desired, His constant presence.

God has always been there. He will always be there. And while we can’t touch Him or feel Him or hear His audible voice, we can see how He’s working. I enjoy comparing God to love, not just because God literally is love, but because it is the best analogy for Him.

We all believe love exists (at least in some capacity). But we can’t see love, can we? We can’t feel the essence of love. We can’t hear love’s voice. Yet we know it’s there. We can see the way love brings people together and heals old wounds. We can see love transform lives.

God’s the same. We can feel God through others or nature or really through anything God chooses. We can see Him working even if we can’t physically see Him. We know that He is there simply by a feeling, by the signs around us.

Don’t discount the constants in your life, especially God. Don’t forget about the people who may not be the most “exciting” or take that void away, but who have been placed in your life to bring you closer to God.

Anything you put before God isn’t going to last. It could be something really great, but it’s not greater than God. And when you’re mad at God for taking something away, stop and ask if it was taking you away from God.

God is with you through it all. You are never truly alone. ❤

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.

Deuteronomy 31:6

Words of Wisdom

Have you been hurt by someone’s words in an argument?

We all have that one phrase that gets under our skin. It’s usually a criticism, and something people don’t realize harms us. Often it’s meant to shine a light on a weakness of ours (or maybe a perceived weakness that we’re working on), but it wounds instead.

For me, it’s being called “selfish”. I’ll never forget the time in middle school when I was first outright called selfish. My mom and I were in an argument and she used that term against me. That stung deep because my whole life, growing up as an only child, everyone assumed I was self-centered. And I’ll admit, I’ve had moments of being selfish. However, it was something I was working on and worked so hard to not be. I felt like a burden and did everything I could to not make things about myself, even sacrificing my sanity sometimes. But there it was, that evil word. This particular irritation, this deep wound that comes when it’s implied that I’m not thinking of others, must stem from this feeling of needing to earn my worth, of not sacrificing enough. Often, these “trigger phrases” come from past pain and deep seeded lies from the enemy. Nonetheless, they cause us to spiral into self-doubt and cause us to forget who we are in Jesus.

I don’t blame my mom, or others who have used this adjective. My mom even denies having that argument because she can’t imagine saying that and she affirms me on a regular basis. However, whenever the word “selfish” comes up, it still stings.

Today, when I shared how I felt about a sensitive subject with a friend, she shot back, “You’re not the only one going through hard things.” That hurt. That hurt a lot. To me, that was an implication that I’m a selfish person. While she didn’t mean to wound me, it went far deeper than she realized.

But this post isn’t a debate of whether or not I’m a selfish person. It’s about what I’ve learned from being hurt by other people’s misguided remarks. I know I’ve hurt others with my words before, especially words coming from an angry place.

Words hold a lot of power. A lot more power than we realize. We won’t always realize how much they can change others’ lives, whether for good or bad. That’s why we have to be careful with our words, using them sparingly sometimes, or inserting them into heated conversations to bring peace other times.

The issue with words is that they are so easy to say or type or write. In a few seconds, there can be a whole angry paragraph on text sent out. Or in the blink of an eye, we’ve opened our mouths and spit out the very same hurt someone else has thrown at us. When we don’t think, we can’t exercise wisdom.

Now, I’ll be honest, it’s pretty much impossible to never hurt anyone’s feelings, especially with your words. But it’s important to always keep in the back of your mind that your words may have more impact than you realize. So make that impact positive. Make your words be what lifts people up.

For me, the phrase “You’re never alone” has stuck with me from a prayer a friend prayed over me during a retreat during one of my darkest times. Still when I hear it, I feel an instant sense of warmth and love. I feel God’s presence beside me. It has the opposite effect of “You’re not thinking of others”.

We all have weaknesses. I have more than I can count, and sometimes selfishness is one of them. Sometimes speaking before I think is one of them. When we see a brother or sister in Christ struggling with a sin that’s hurting others, we should find a way to help them work through it. But we shouldn’t make them think that they are any less of a person by struggling with something because we are no more perfect than they are.

It is by God’s grace that we are here, and when we extend that grace to others, we will begin to see the world in a whole new light. The light of God’s unfailing love. ❤

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.

Ephesians 2:8

This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.

James 1:19

It’s Time to Check In

It’s easy to remember to check in on the people in our lives who seem to really need us. But when was the last time you checked in on your friends who “have it all together”?

I once heard that the people who seem to have it the most “together” are the ones who in the most need of being checked in on. I find this to be very true. When people create a large “cover” to hide their deeper feelings, it’s easier for them to be overlooked.

Last week, I got the privilege of spending time with a friend I haven’t seen in nearly a year. As I’m sure you’ve experienced when reconnecting with people after being locked down for so long, we spent the majority of the conversation discussing all we had missed from each other’s lives over the past year. She admitted to feeling frustrated over how people in her life, especially people close to her, assumed everything came easy to her and that she never needed their help. “It’s true,” she said. “Most people think I have it all together. But I really don’t.”

In all honesty, I had regarded her as a person who did have it all together. The perfect grades, a good head on her shoulders, an admirable amount of confidence. Though I wasn’t one of the people she had been referring to, I felt a sense of guilt as I realized I spent more time investing in the people in my life who had obvious needs than people like her. And just because she needed help, she needed someone to ask how she was doing, it doesn’t make her any less of the incredible person I thought she was. All of her accomplishments mean even more now that I know her mindset through those times.

Sometimes, we talk ourselves out of checking in on people. We allow our outward impressions of others to define our relationship with them. We enjoy labeling friends as “the one we have fun with” or “the one we get wise advice from” or “the one who relies on me”. But the truth is, we all need to be shown that we are cared about and that we aren’t going through life alone. And often, the ones who laugh the most and act like everything’s okay are the ones who would appreciate a kind word or a simple act of love the most. They are often the ones who are always overlooked in this sense.

Two and a half years ago, I was in a dark place. I was this close to spiraling into a place of despair. But then a friend reached out to me and checked in. She could see, or perhaps God helped her see, that something was wrong. Something deeper than what I presented on the surface. And that saved me from going into a place I don’t know if I could’ve recovered from.

Today, ask God to bring to your mind someone, or perhaps multiple people, who need you to check in on them. You don’t have to start off with deep, thought-provoking questions. Rather, just see if they need someone to talk to or if you can spend some time with them. Think outside the box, to the people who might seem okay or who might not have anyone in their lives who care about their feelings.

In the Bible, we are told that people will know we follow Jesus because of our love. The greatest commandment is to love God and love people. If we wake up every morning realizing how much love God has for us, we can extend that love to others.

You are loved. ❤

I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

John 13:34-35

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

1 John 4:7-8

Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:2

For you were called to be free, brothers and sisters; only don’t use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love.

Galatians 5:13

Known

Do you ever wish you knew what God would say to your questions?

Do you have that person in your life that you know so incredibly well, you feel like you can read their minds? You know their answer to your question before you even ask, and you could answer for them if need be. You know how they feel about situations, what advice they’d probably give you, and what each distinct facial expression means.

Yesterday, I had a moment with my mom that freaked her out. She started explaining a situation, and without even being a sentence into it, I knew exactly who she was talking about and my answer to her unspoken question. I’d like to think I have superpowers, but in reality it’s likely because she and I have been spending way more time together due to the pandemic. That’s what it takes to fully know someone, spending lots of time with them and watching their reactions to similar situations.

So many times I’ve wished to know God’s answers to all my questions and decisions. Then I wouldn’t experience doubt or regret. I’ve often heard people say that they’d have a relationship with God if they could hear His voice. As Christians, we often worry about pleasing God, and second-guess everything because we aren’t sure if we’re doing what God wants us to.

But here’s the thing: even if we never hear God audibly speak, we can still know His answers to every single question and concern we have.

Now, you might be half-way through an eye roll, thinking, “Great, Hannah’s going to suggest reading the Bible and praying more. Heard that one before.”

Well…yes. But I’m not going to just leave you with that.

You see, we can know God just as well as we know that one person in our lives fully. By spending time with God, we can figure out how He’d react to certain situations. By listening to how God reacted to other situations in the past, (hint hint, through the Bible), we can see how He might react to situations now. The best part about God is that He never changes His mind. He will never take away the gift of grace and salvation He’s given us. He will never suddenly stop loving us. His plan will always come to completion at the right time.

So, if you have the desire to know what God thinks, which is wonderful if you do, then spend more time with God. Even spending an extra few minutes in the Word can bring so much clarity. And prayer…that’s so underrated. Praying can truly make miracles happen. Praying can bring you peace when you thought you could never feel remotely content again. Most of all, prayer is a conversation with God, and what better way to get to know Him than talk with Him?

God knows you fully and loves you, not despite, but because of who you are. When you feel like no one really gets you or you don’t feel like explaining yourself, go to God. He already knows and He’s ready to welcome you with open arms.

But if anyone loves God, he is known by Him.

1 Corinthians 8:3

I am the good shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me.

John 10:14

Song suggestion: Known, by Tauren Wells: https://youtu.be/gbQ6Lfh5L14