Purpose – The Will to Wake Up

The Prodigal Character

What if our “problem characters” can actually point us–and our readers–to Christ?

“Not all who wander are lost.” ~ J.R.R Tolkien

If you’re a writer, you’ve likely encountered a “problem” character in your stories. The kind that just doesn’t want to do what you tell them to do. Perhaps you were hoping to redeem them in the end, but by the time you reach the last chapter, you’re so frustrated with them that you would rather drop their plot line all together.

Over the past year, I’ve been participating in a novel writing apprenticeship program, which has truly transformed how I understand stories, characters, and themes. For my first project, I wrote about a young woman overcoming her fear of change in order to save her family’s ice cream parlor.

Andie, my protagonist, wasn’t my problem character. Her best friend, Val, was.

In my program, we’re required to go through an extensive planning process before we can draft our story. Even in the initial stages, Val was often critiqued as being “too unhealthy” and “distracting from the main plot.” (A very fair analysis, I will admit.)

By the time I got to drafting, I thought Val was finally reined in as a side character. Until I reached Chapter 8, where it all fell apart.

Val was introduced at her birthday party, where she made a grand entrance in a flashy red gown before having the most passive aggressive conversation with her mom. It went something like:

Val shoots a look at her mom. “Wow, you really don’t know me at all, do you?”

“Valentina,” Mrs. Valores says, her voice never wavering. “What are you talking about?”

Val holds up a carton of almond mocha fudge ice cream. “You know I hate nuts. I can’t believe this. After that whole speech you gave about wanting me here–”

“Valentina, I can assure you that I didn’t order anything with nuts. I do know you, darling. And I want you here–”

“Oh really? So why are you still calling me ‘Valentina’ like we’re strangers, then?” Val demands.

She slams the carton back on the table. I wince, grateful it didn’t burst open.

The irony is that I didn’t know Val very well when I wrote her the first time. Or the second time. It wasn’t until I reread her lines a third time, frustrated beyond measure because she seemed beyond sympathetic, that I realized the issue.

I didn’t love Val.

You might think, “Of course you didn’t. Who would love this stuck-up, irritable character?”

But as her creator, it was my job to love her. The only way for her to be sympathetic to my readers was for me to love her first, and write out of that place instead of only seeing her in a negative light.

I had to ask myself, “How has Val become this way? Why do my other characters love her? What uniquely about her benefits this story and its themes?”

So back to the rewrites I went…and this time, Val transformed into a flawed, but lovable, character. In fact, when a friend read the most recent draft, she said that the plot line with Val was her favorite because it demonstrated the story’s faith themes the clearest. I was over the moon to hear that!

How often do we feel like a problem character in the eyes of our creator, God?

And how often do we view others as problem characters, beyond God’s power to heal and redeem?

When we are burdened with shame over our past mistakes, we may feel broken beyond repair. But that mindset neglects to recognize the power of Jesus’ work on the cross to save us from all our sins.

If God thought we were too broken to be worth saving, He never would’ve sent Jesus. He never would’ve let humanity grow beyond Adam and Eve, or saved Noah’s family when He wiped out the rest of humanity.

God offers us chance after chance to come home. And when we fall down at His feet, wearing filthy clothes with tears in our eyes, He reminds us that we are His precious creation. His sons and daughters.

Perhaps these “problem characters” that arise in our stories aren’t so problematic after all. Perhaps they are simply prodigals who will teach us the value of running back home to God rather than wallowing in our shame.

Perhaps they will even be the characters who point readers to Christ.

No matter what you’ve done or how far you’ve fallen, it’s not too late to ask God to be with you. He will always welcome you home.

Our stories of God transforming us day by day are a testament to His faithfulness. Your life story isn’t too messy for God to use to lead others to His love.

I’d encourage you to read the story of The Lost Son from the book of Luke and reflect on God’s deep love for you:

¹¹Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. ¹²The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

¹³“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. ¹⁴After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. ¹⁵So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

¹⁷“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ ²⁰So he got up and went to his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

²¹“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

²²“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

²⁵“Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. ²⁶So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ²⁷‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

²⁸“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. ²⁹But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. ³⁰But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

³¹“‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. ³²But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

Luke 15:11-31 (NIV)

Is God Still Using Me?

A reflection on my journey from stepping back from corporate ministry to finding peace and purpose in serving God with purer motives.

My greatest realization after stepping back from corporate ministry was uncovering the unhealthy motives for why I served.

As a teen, I felt invisible at church. I struggled to belong at youth group, I was scared to participate in mission trips, and it felt like the only way to be part of the community was to serve.

Then I started my official ministry position during a very vulnerable period of my life when it seemed like everything else was falling apart. I sought a sense of purpose, and the church was more than happy to make me useful. Watching the number of students grow and receiving praise for my spiritual gifts was addicting…and exhausting because deep down, I knew that wasn’t what church was supposed to be about.

Through my position as Children’s Ministry Resident, I served multiple times a week, developed curriculum, spoke regularly in front of my congregation–and if there was anything going on at church, I was there.

I didn’t only serve for selfish or insecure reasons. I deeply cared about the congregation, especially the kids, and I believe God called me to that position for a season.

But after burning out, I started listening to God’s nudge for me to leave that church and explore new pastures with Him. Upon coming home from my last day of work, I was overwhelmed with peace. The lyrics to the worship song, “I Surrender,” flowed from my heart.

Yet it took months to truly transition out of my old mindset, a mindset so fixated on producing quality programs and pleasing the congregants that I put my personal relationship with God on the back-burner.

The phrase, “it was the difference between night and day,” understates what transitioning from being on church leadership to being a regular congregant felt like. One minute, everybody knew my name and expected so much of me. The next, I was wandering into different churches and leaving without a trace.

I kept pushing away the fear (rather than bringing it to God), “Does anyone still need me anymore? Do I have a place in ministry without working for a church?”

After a couple months of searching, I landed on a new church, ironically three minutes away from my house. There were two things that confirmed God wanted me to be there: I felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me through the sermons, and they sang “I Surrender” my first time worshipping with them.

Surrendering my work duties wasn’t hard–it was honestly a relief. At last, I could actually pay attention during service instead of running around meeting everybody’s needs.

But surrendering my pride and my desire to feel needed? That required much more faith and humility.

When observing how this new church operated, I certainly had moments of thinking, “If I were in charge, I’d do this differently,” and “Ouch, they still don’t remember my name?”.

God didn’t allow my pride or past pain prevent me from growing. Stepping back to rest and focus on how God wanted to refine me was crucial in preparing me for the challenges and opportunities to come.

Over the past year and a half, God’s placed me in situations that have required tremendous faith. I wouldn’t have been able to trust in Him this deeply–and cry out to Him for help when I struggle to trust–had I not spent this time growing in my understanding of God’s character and dwelling in His presence.

Resting in God doesn’t mean we can’t serve at all. Participating in the body of Christ by sharing our gifts is a valuable part of the Christian walk. But we can’t serve well if we are relying on our own strength and motivated by anything other than a love and appreciation for God and His people.

Our heart motives change when we realize that:

We aren’t needed by God, but we are wanted by Him. Not wanted in the way a child begs for a new toy that they’ll forget about in seconds, but deeply desired, as one might long for their significant other.
We are not capable on our own. The success of our ministry stems from our reliance on God.
Rest is an act of worship…and faith. When we take the time to rest, we are admitting we cannot do anything on our own strength and we need to be empowered by the Holy Spirit.
Just because God isn’t using you in the same way He did before doesn’t mean He isn’t using you at all. When you surrender your life to Him, there will always be opportunities for ministry, perhaps in more organic ways.

This past school year, God’s guided me toward getting more involved in my new church by teaching children again and serving in other background roles, all with much better boundaries. And you know what? I don’t miss having congregants come up to praise my public speaking skills or seeing my name on the wall of leaders.

By not investing as much time in church-specific ministries, I’ve also had more capacity to invest in the lives of my friends and Bible study partners, pray intentionally for them, and reflect on how I can grow in my relationships.

There might be a season where God calls me to serve in a larger capacity in corporate ministry again, but for now, I have peace trusting that God will use me wherever I’m at. No ministry is too small to be used by Him to do amazing things.

If you are doubting your purpose or value, remember who you are in Christ:

The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. ¹⁷Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Romans 8:16-17 (NIV)

“Though the mountains be shaken
    and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
    nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
    says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

Isaiah 54:10 (NIV)

Our purpose? To be God’s daughter or son.

Our value? Immeasurable. We are worth everything to God, who loved us enough to send His son to die for us so that we may have everlasting life with Him.

Trust that God loves you so much that He has a perfect plan for you. ❤

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

What Were We Made For?

Out of His great love, God created us to be in relationship with Him.

Deep down inside each of us, there’s a desire to understand our purpose.

Throughout the years, I’ve often been told that our purpose is to become more like Christ. But as we examine Jesus’ life, it wasn’t particularly pleasurable–at least by earthly standards. After all, His journey reached its climax with His death on the cross. The ultimate form of pain, betrayal, and injustice.

On the night before Jesus’ crucifixion, He cried out to God and expressed His distress over His impending suffering. Yet God continued to call Jesus to sacrifice.

[Jesus] withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, ⁴²“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” ⁴³An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him.

Luke 22:41-43 (NIV)

When we are going through suffering, this passage may feel both comforting and alarming. Witnessing God direct Jesus straight into a deadly situation may stir panic in our hearts. Does this mean God wants us to go through pain too?

And as we consider God’s divinity, we may find ourselves wondering, “Why doesn’t God use His power to stop all suffering?”

What if I told you that God is using His power to stop all suffering?

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ⁴‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

⁵He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

Revelation 21:3-5 (NIV)

Right now, God is already preparing the way for His new kingdom to come where we will no longer live our fractured existences, marred by brokenness and sin. It is out of His mercy that we are given a chance to repent and develop a relationship with Him while this broken world still exists.

But we don’t have to wait to experience God’s kingdom. When we live according to God’s calling and Jesus’ example, we can shed God’s light and love on even the darkest situations.

So what was God’s purpose in creating us?

Consider God’s original design for the world back in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve didn’t go through pain or suffering, until they allowed sin into the world. Their purpose was to be in relationship with God and tend to the world God created for them.

That is our purpose too.

God still longs for this because He loves us so deeply. He did not create us for suffering. He does not take pleasure in our pain. He cries alongside us. And then, out of His mercy, He redeems our suffering.

For no one is cast off
    by the Lord forever.
³²Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
    so great is his unfailing love.
³³For he does not willingly bring affliction
    or grief to anyone.

Lamentations 3:31-33 (NIV)

If you are struggling to find hope today, remember how Jesus’ earthly journey ended. Not with death, but with new life. God redeemed Jesus’ suffering by using it as a catalyst for us to have relationship with Him again.

God’s ultimate goal is to be in relationship with us. But due to the broken situation of the world, we cannot have a perfect relationship with God–or with anybody–until there is full restoration in Heaven and Earth.

Today, we are called to seek God’s kingdom, setting aside our own aspirations in order to pursue His purposes for us. Often, God places desires in our hearts that we are meant to pursue and other times He leads us in a totally different direction than what we planned.

But through it all, God has a perfect plan for us, cultivated out of His unconditional love. Trust in God’s plan today with the hope that no matter what happens next, God is with you through it all and He will never let go of His precious child. ❤

I remember my affliction and my wandering,
    the bitterness and the gall.
²⁰I well remember them,
    and my soul is downcast within me.
²¹Yet this I call to mind
    and therefore I have hope:

²²Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
²³They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
²⁴I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
    therefore I will wait for him.”

²⁵The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
    to the one who seeks him;
²⁶it is good to wait quietly
    for the salvation of the Lord.

Lamentations 3:19-26 (NIV)

Surrendering Your Tomorrows

Ask God to help you release your plans and unknowns into His hands.

When you think about the future, how do you feel?

You might feel excited about all your plans. You might feel anxious by your lack of plans. You might feel exhausted thinking about even the prospect of making plans.

While planning can help us make good use of our time, we must hold our plans lightly. Following Jesus requires us to take each step forward in His footsteps, even if they lead down a path we didn’t plan to walk through. When we commit to following Jesus, we enter into the process of surrendering our will to Him over and over again.

But what does surrendering our will mean?

In the simplest sense, our will is our plan for our lives. Our plans can involve our hopes and dreams, our greatest fears, and even the little desires we lock tight in our hearts.

When we surrender our will to Jesus, we can tell Him what we want to do, but we are open to change course as He directs. This takes a great deal of trust since essentially we are giving Jesus the most valuable thing we have: our lives.

But since Jesus was the one who gave us life, He knows how to best use our lives to grow and shape us into beacons of His light and love.

There are so many beautiful aspects of surrendering to Jesus, even though it is challenging and requires sacrifice. Jesus’ will for us is far greater than we could ever imagine, which means when you offer your life to Him, you will be surprised by how Jesus can transform you.

There are two major temptations to avoid when considering your future, which we are warned about in the Bible.

The first is fearing for tomorrow:

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

– Matthew 6:34

The second is boasting about your plans:

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

– James 4:13-14

It is natural to be worried about the unknown, but when you are in constant panic about it, you are grasping for your will back, not ready to trust Jesus fully.

It is okay if you are at the stage of learning not to fear. I am still working through that as well. Surrendering is a process, not a one-time decision.

There will be some seasons that are easier to trust Jesus than others, but Jesus is ready and willing to walk alongside you through the journey of learning to trust in Him.

It is also natural to get excited about the future, which is wonderful and even an act of trust all on its own. But when we start to boast about our plans, we turn the spotlight back on ourselves.

We have a limited knowledge of the future and we must take life day by day. If we get too far ahead of ourselves, we may fall into the trap of pride and find that we are trusting in our own plans again rather than God’s.

Today, as you think about tomorrow and the days that follow it, ask yourself what aspects of your life are you still worried about? What situations or relationships or opportunities are you struggling to surrender to God?

Pray and ask Him to help you release your future into His hands. And who knows? You may be taken on a path going the opposite direction, but a path better suited for God’s wonderful purposes in store for you.

Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

– James 4:15

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you.

– James 4:7-8

The Beauty of Insignificant Work

Who are we serving when we show others kindness and love, even in the smallest of ways?

There’s no blow quite as resonant as learning someone doesn’t remember you.

Running into an old acquaintance and hearing them say, “Um…what’s your name again?” Bumping into a kid you taught for five years in Sunday school or a beloved childhood friend who stares blankly back at you as you recount fond memories with them. I’m sure you can think of your own example.

When we are forgotten, we wonder if our kind actions toward these people had any significance, any lasting impact. We were designed to crave purpose.

We like to pretend that we don’t deem certain work insignificant. But come on, if someone told you they spent a summer rebuilding a children’s home in an needy area versus playing with toddlers in your church’s nursery, your reactions would differ based on allocated significance for each activity.

Our tendency to rank our charitable acts, hopefully acts that stem from our love for God and His people, has its roots in comparison. We enjoy volunteering to babysit for the single parent next door until we learn our friend is traveling abroad to minister to hundreds of students on the brink of accepting Christ.

The final nail in the coffin is realizing the people we are impacting, even if we can count the number of them on one hand, may not even remember us. Does our service mean nothing?

Well, yes. It does mean nothing.

It means nothing if the reason why you are serving is to be remembered or feel significant, regardless of what you are doing. The what really isn’t important. It’s the why that counts.

I know that sounds incredibly cliché, but hear me out. We have no meaning without Christ, our Creator, who has redeemed us through His own sacrifice on the cross. Through His resurrection and the gift of the Holy Spirit, we are given the opportunity to powerfully impact others.

Understand this (read it a few times if you need to): The only reason why we are able to make a difference is because of Jesus living inside us.

Anyone can do good works. A neighbor who has never met Jesus can cook you a spectacular meal after a terrible day or comfort you after the loss of a loved one. A stranger can plan a community-wide event that helps kids have a safe place to play. And no doubt, these works are wonderful. But they do not have the potential to be miraculous because they are not done out of a heart for God.

The beauty of insignificant work is its innate humility. When we botch up sharing our testimony to the youth group, but have a teen come up later and reveal how it inspired them, we know that only God could’ve used our words in this way. When we serve children who are too young to remember our time with them, but later watch them grow up with a solid understanding of God’s love for them, we trust that God was working even in the forgettable moments.

All works that point to Christ are used to transform lives, even if we can’t see it at the time. Some of us plant the seeds, others of us water them, but God is the one who created the seeds that bloom into fruitful plants. We are merely God’s workers, which is a relief because when we feel burdened by others’ problems, we can hand those burdens directly to God.

God is the best boss you could ever have. He doesn’t ever give you busywork or send you off to fetch His coffee. Every calling He places on our hearts is meaningful. He is not the one who suggests “smaller” deeds are insignificant. So what right do we have to call His work insignificant?

Today, keep your eyes open to the Spirit’s nudges on your heart. Remember that everything you do for Jesus is significant. Even if others can’t recall the kindness you’ve shown them, Jesus sees you and knows everything. Therefore, nothing we do out of His love is in vain.

What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. ⁶I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. ⁷So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. ⁸The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. ⁹For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.
1 Corinthians 3:5-9

Hope is Not a Fantasy

Inspirational singer-songwriter, Meyta, shares the redemption story behind his new album, Reverse Psychology.

“I’ve always had the instinct to create this album,” singer-songwriter Meyta recalls, referring to his newly released Reverse Psychology. “I just didn’t have the skills to create it. Then as time progressed, I thought, ‘Oh, finally, I can make this thing’.”

But then two years ago, God prompted Meyta to take a break from music. That’s not a message most artists want to hear, especially when they have the pressing desire to produce a specific album, as Meyta had. It required significant faith and trust to leave his music career in God’s hands, but after clinging to God on what, at times, was a perilous journey toward healing, he knew God would prove Himself faithful.

True to God’s character, Meyta’s year off wasn’t wasted. In fact, the growth Meyta experienced during this break was what prepared him for bringing his dream to life – Reverse Psychology.

“During that time, I got a lot of inner healing in my soul of things that I didn’t even realize I was dealing with,” he shares. “At the end of the year, the Lord spoke to me and said, ‘You’re ready’. A week later, I was contacted by my (now) manager.”

Though this album presents an exciting new step in Meyta’s artistic journey, his passion for music existed even before he devoted his life to Christ.

Meyta’s music career started about eight years ago. As his talents developed, he created the stage name “Meyta”, which means purpose. Even while an agnostic, he perceived that people suffering from mental illness felt worthless because they didn’t understand that they had a purpose in life. Ironically, he was questioning his own purpose at the time, which led to an accidental overdose that caused him to be temporarily paralyzed and hear demonic voices.

“I decided to call out to Jesus and the demons’ voices left and I wasn’t paralyzed anymore,” he says. “I began to realize that my purpose was actually just to be best friends with God. That’s when I started making music for Him.”

In order to write this album, Meyta reflected on his mindset during his most vulnerable season. Through the peace and healing Jesus has brought him over the four years since his overdose, he’s able to revisit that pain with compassion and insight, allowing him to encourage others through his story.

Recently, Jesus has put a specific phrase in Meyta’s mind: hope is not a fantasy. In fact, anyone can have hope and healing when they place their faith in Jesus. While Meyta’s music is centered on mental health, and he approaches deep subject matters with grace and empathy, his message is counter-cultural in that he believes anyone can be made whole again through Jesus.

There is profound comfort found in the lyrics of Meyta’s songs, such as in “You are My Child”, in which a person approaches God with shame, and God counteracts his doubts: “You are my child / I will always love you / I will never forsake you”.

But Meyta also recognizes that accepting the truth of God’s love can be a challenge, especially when lies fill our minds. “Choose to Live” depicts the struggle of someone grappling with overwhelming brokenness: “Right now I’m defeated, and broken within / And I’m convinced I won’t be happy again”.

“A lot of artists tell (their listeners) to stay in those emotions,” Meyta explains. “The challenge is that there really is hope. You don’t have to be stuck in those emotions.”

Hope and purpose are intermingled for Meyta and they are rooted in one source: Jesus.

“When I gave my life to Jesus, I realized that He’s been waiting to heal me from my deep depression and my deep anxiety,” he says. “I would wake up and I’d just start laughing because I realized I’d been lied to. I didn’t realize that I could have hope. I was just laughing out of joy.”

“Choose to Live” continues with the speaker remembering that hope comes in the morning, as it did for Meyta: “But I know in the morning my mind will change / My life has value / So I choose to live”.

To those who feel discouraged or doubtful of Jesus’ loving purpose for them, Meyta turns to his own redemption story as proof of Jesus’ mercy.

“If He’s able to take a boy that’s depressed out of his mind and trying to escape through everything…(and) I was really at the point of giving up,” he says. “If He was able to give me hope for the first time ever, then He’s able to really flip around anyone’s life.”

As Christians, we are called to share our hope with those around us. Meyta believes that living out our callings, using whatever unique gifts God has given us, is one way to encourage others. Another is to be intentional about our relationships and share how God has changed us.

Meyta’s genuine care and concern for his listeners is evident in his future goals as a musician, particularly with considering the possibility of touring.

“Being able to look those people in the eye – that’s what excites me,” he says with a smile.

Though the journey has been painful, confusing, and even near-death, Meyta trusts that he wouldn’t have grown into the person he is today, both as a musician and follower of Jesus, without these experiences.

As an artist, he’s had to overcome comparison, competition, and feeling insignificant. He wants others struggling with these issues to realize that believing their turn will never come is a lie. Life will unfold in beautiful and surprising ways when we switch our mindsets away from our personal goals and instead ask God to speak into our lives.

“Who am I to compare myself to someone’s chapter twenty when I’m at chapter ten?” he adds.

After trial and error, taking a year off from producing music, and embracing much personal healing, Meyta is proud to finally unveil Reverse Psychology, which embodies his own coming-of-age story of finding hope. His favorite song in his album is “All You’ve Ever Known”.

“All You’ve Ever Known” encapsulates the heart of Reverse Psychology, which is the transformation from being deceived by the cheap offerings of this world to embarking on a quest for truth and purpose, ultimately found in God’s love. Though “All You’ve Ever Known” focuses on facing harsh realities, it’s also singed with promise as the speaker fervently pursues the belief that there is more to life than suffering.

“That song means so much to me. I love how it’s kind of ambiguous for people to figure out for themselves,” Meyta says. “Every time I listen to it, it means something different to me.”

Meyta hopes that listeners will not only enjoy his music and be moved by his personal story, but also identify with the lyrics for themselves. And most of all, Meyta calls us to remember that hope is within reach when we least expect it as long as we don’t give up.

Find Meyta’s music on your favorite music-streaming platform: Reverse Psychology

Follow Meyta on Instagram: @wehavemeyta

We know that suffering produces perseverance;perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
Romans 5:3-5 (NIV)

Called to Belong

What if calling doesn’t have to be as overwhelming as it seems?

Happy New Year!

I don’t know about you, but I often feel immense pressure at the beginning of the year to have my life figured out. Strategizing the perfect goals, tidying up the house, rearranging priorities. This is the season for transformation!

While making goals, trying to be healthier, and considering our callings are good things, they can cause fear and doubt to rise into our hearts:

Why don’t I know my calling? Is my calling going to be as interesting or exciting as this other person’s calling? Does God even have a calling for me? What if my calling isn’t something I’ll like? The questions spin us into chaos!

We will be given multiple callings in our lives. Some feel smaller than others, such as reaching out to an overlooked person or giving a donation spontaneously. Others, especially those about our career paths, relationships, homes, and families, feel significant. Especially because we often find our identities in these aspects of our lives, whether or not we’re in a romantic relationship, how successful our job is, or how close we are to our families.

But none of these callings relate to true identity, the calling at the core of our beings.

Through [Jesus] we received grace and apostleship to call all the Gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith for his name’s sake. ⁶And you also are among those Gentiles who are called to belong to Jesus Christ.

⁷To all in Rome who are loved by God and called to be his holy people:

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ.
Romans 1:5-7

Whether or not you’re a Gentile, we are all called to be God’s holy people. While the title sounds unobtainable, we are given this opportunity by being “called to belong to Jesus Christ”.

It is not by our own works that we become God’s people. When we accept the love of Christ, we belong to Him. Simply by being loved by Jesus, we are given a calling above all other callings. And the best part is that this calling impacts all future callings as well.

When we receive the love of Jesus, we desire time with Him. Through that time, we learn to think and act as the Spirit leads. We are no longer bound by human constraints or timetables. We are free to follow Jesus one step at a time.

I hope this reminder brings you encouragement. I know that this may not solve an impending question or decision in your life. But I pray that as you remember God’s love for you, you act out of His grace and wisdom. God offers the Spirit to all who ask, and believe me, we serve a generous God.

I also hope that you are not overwhelmed as you consider the callings God has placed on your life. It’s a miracle that God chooses to give us gifts, talents, and callings, but they aren’t our ticket to Heaven or the determiner for our identity.

Your identity is found in belonging to Jesus. His love, grace, and mercy found in His sacrifice and redemption washes over your story. You already have your calling and you will always be loved by the One who calls you by name.

With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith.
2 Thessalonians 1:11

Choosing a Life of Purpose

What difference does living a life with Jesus make?

When we consider whether or not to believe in Jesus, essentially dedicating our lives to following Him, we are often motivated by the end goal: an eternity in Heaven with Him. Though eternity is certainly far longer than our earthly lives, it’s important to remember the present reasons for why we should start our relationship with Him now.

But what difference does living our earthly lives with Jesus really make?

I’ve been trying to figure out the best analogy to answer this question for a long time, and it finally came to me this morning. I hope it resonates with you as it did with me.

As some of you may know, I work part-time as an assistant horseback riding teacher. During a lesson yesterday, we were talking about a beautiful, festive merry-go-round in the city nearby. When my boss asked one of the kids whether she’d want to ride it, she responded, “Why would I want to ride that merry-go-round when I’m riding a real horse right now?”

This question stuck with me throughout the night and with careful contemplation, I realized its relevant imagery in understanding the difference between a life with and without Jesus.

A life without Jesus is similar to riding a merry-go-round. It may not be harmful — in fact, it could even be fun for a while. Pretty lights, lots of choices in stead (a unicorn or cat anyone?), and chipper music. However, after a while, you’re bound to realize you’ve just been going around in circles without a clear destination.

Depth lacks in this life as well. You can’t build a relationship with your metal horse. Your purpose for being on the ride is limited to mere enjoyment, temporary pleasures. And once you realize you aren’t going anywhere, you’ll feel stagnant and purposeless.

However, a life with Jesus could be compared to riding a real horse. Anyone who has been around horses knows that the bond between the rider and horse relies on trust, vulnerability, and courage. But most of all, love.

There is nothing quite like the relationship between horse and rider. They often understand each other on a deeper emotional level than even humans can perceive each other.

And the options of what to do with your horse are boundless too. They may help you get where you need to go or provide an opportunity to exercise. Horses have a knack for developing character as well. Even if you’re just riding for pleasure, there are natural benefits that come from spending time with horses.

Of course, riding a real horse comes with more risks than riding on a merry-go-round. You could fall off or get injured. You often don’t know what to expect, though the longer you spend with a horse, the less surprising rides become. But aren’t the risks worth it when the reward is developing a more intimate relationship and living a more fulfilling life?

Some may say no. They may prefer the life with limits. For believers, all we can do in that situation is show them love and pray that someday they will be stirred towards venturing beyond their comfort zones.

The real question is, what really matters to you? Are you willing to climb onto a real horse and embrace the unknowns that follow?

The beauty is that Jesus doesn’t want us to go on this journey alone. We can ask Him to give us the strength, courage, and vulnerability to overcome all the obstacles in our paths. Jesus loves you far more than anyone (even your favorite pet) can love you, and He understands you to a depth you can’t even comprehend.

Today, even if you have already made the decision to follow Him, still consider whether you truly trust your life in Jesus’ hands. I hope that this reflection reminds you that even though there are many frightening things in this broken world, Jesus will guide you and comfort you through it all. He is worthy of our trust.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13 (NIV)

They said to him, “Just who are you anyway?”

Jesus said, “What I’ve said from the start. I have so many things to say that concern you, judgments to make that affect you, but if you don’t accept the trustworthiness of the One who commanded my words and acts, none of it matters. That is who you are questioning—not me but the One who sent me.”

They still didn’t get it, didn’t realize that he was referring to the Father. So Jesus tried again. “When you raise up the Son of Man, then you will know who I am—that I’m not making this up, but speaking only what the Father taught me. The One who sent me stays with me. He doesn’t abandon me. He sees how much joy I take in pleasing him.”
John 8:25-29 (MSG)

Brokenness Redeemed

Your story matters. Through this post, I hope to inspire you with mine.

Do you believe your story matters?

For the longest time, I didn’t believe mine did. Until I stood up on stage in front of a hundred or so people who had watched me grow up, but never really knew me, and shared my testimony.

It’s been over four years since that faithful day. A day that Jesus used to redeem my story. Recently, I read the story of the woman at the well. If you’re unfamiliar with it, it’s another story of redemption and testimonies. In Jesus’ interaction with this woman, she reveals the brokenest parts of her story as a witness to Jesus’ identity as our Lord and Savior. This causes the people of her town, who likely had rejected her because of her brokenness, to come to believe. Her story brought them to Jesus, who then transformed each person to make their faith their own.

After rereading this passage, I felt inspired to share my new testimony. After all, a lot has happened in four years. Our stories are constantly being written.

But after two hours of writing, I realized I had eight pages — with much more to go — of stories from my past. I believe that remembering what Jesus has done for us is important, but sometimes focusing solely on the past undermines what He is doing in the present. It also makes it seem like we are fully healed at the end of our testimony, when in reality I know I still have much more healing to go.

So today I will share a piece of my story that is still being unwoven. I hope through this that you may feel inspired to share your story, and at the very least, know that your story has immense value.

Broken, but healing

Growing up as an only child, I often had to prove how “unselfish” I was to combat the misbelief that all only children are spoiled brats (though rest assured, I’ve met plenty of them). To be honest, I wasn’t a completely pure hearted kid. I struggled to share my toys, I didn’t want to invite over kids who weren’t in my closest circle, and I preferred receiving over giving.

I don’t believe those traits necessarily came from being an only child, but perhaps resulted more from being a child in a comfortable home. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about being a follower of Christ, it’s that we are thrown out of our comfort zones in order to change.

In order to protect myself from being misjudged, I built walls to block away the influence of others. However, these walls didn’t stop me from being hurt when others were unkind, and instead they filtered out all hints of criticism, including words meant to help me grow.

These walls came crashing down in the middle of my high school career when I felt utterly alone. I thought I had lost the people who meant the most to me. I did everything I could to be lovable — including giving much of what I had, monetarily and emotionally. But the person whom I believed I loved the most just couldn’t love me back.

Through various situations outside of my control, (a car accident, grief, rejection, and of course the pandemic), God drew me close to Him. By removing everything else I could rely on, He made me realize that He is the only one with the strength to protect my heart.

However, my definition of protection wasn’t entirely the same as God’s.

I entered college ready for something new after a summer of loss and self-doubt. But my fresh start ended up being another season of heartbreak and chaos when I unexpectedly had to move out of a toxic rooming situation. Many of the connections I had built quickly withered away.

A lie that had been pounding in my heart seeped its way out:

You are not lovable. You are meant to be alone.

I tried to combat this lie by building up more walls, including distancing myself from the people who really did love me, and believing that taking an alternative route with college made me a failure.

However, by now I knew the truth that I could not do this on my own. My walls shook with each panic attack. Now my weakness was visible to everyone.

God placed several people in my life, ones who embraced me and filled my heart with His love. God took me across the globe to remind me that I have gifts that need to be shared with others.

Though strengthened, I didn’t feel truly healed. Through counseling, setting boundaries, and prayer journaling, my anxiety lessened and the visible symptoms of my brokenness were much less obvious. But sometimes that feels worse, when we wonder why we feel so empty despite looking whole.

It wasn’t until last August, on the day I quit my job — an act that required trust in God to provide for me — that I finally understood my role in the healing process.

Surrendering to God.

The moment of my first surrender remains so clear for me. I was loading the dishwasher, a Spotify playlist put together by the lovely women in my Bible study humming in the background. And then “I Surrender” began to play and without even knowing the words, I sang my heart out, trusting each verse more with every repetition.

I was carried by the strength of this act — no actually, the vulnerability. I had focused so much on the strength and power of God that I forgot what true strength looks like: being open, honest, and even broken before Him.

Since then, I have learned that surrendering to God is a daily act of trust. It isn’t a one-time thing or a quick-fix solution. It’s the hardest thing we can do, apart our biggest requirement as Christians.

Love others as Jesus would love them.

But you can’t love others until you are filled with a new truth, a truth that I am still in the process of embracing:

You are lovable. You are more loved than you can ever imagine. You can’t love others well until you accept that you belong in the family of God and His love for you will carry you through all your days.

I thought that protecting my heart meant shielding it from loving others. However, withholding God’s love in this way is the most selfish act we can ever do. God’s way of protecting my heart wasn’t keeping it from heartbreak, but rather filling it with His love so that it doesn’t have to break when I share my love freely.

Side note: This isn’t to say you should stay in relationships that aren’t loving. When you accept God’s love, it means you love yourself too. Boundaries can be a huge act of love because they stop us from enabling others, prompting them to be open to changing for the better.

When we love wholeheartedly as Jesus would, it means our love isn’t dependent on the actions and responses of the people we love. It doesn’t have to be when we are fueled by God’s everlasting love rather than human validation.

We are free to love without regrets.

I am still in the process of untethering my heart from the enemy’s lies and anchoring it in God’s truth. I hope that you are on this journey as well in knowing that you are truly loved and that love is meant to be shared with the world.

Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, “He told me everything I ever did.” ⁴⁰So when the Samaritans came to him, they urged him to stay with them, and he stayed two days. ⁴¹And because of his words many more became believers.

⁴²They said to the woman, “We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world.”
John 4:39-42

Signs of Wholeness

Wholeness comes as we allow Jesus to impact our identity. But what does wholeness look like?

Have you ever been in a dark room right after hearing a scary story on the news or watching a creepy movie on TV? Or perhaps you needed to get somewhere at night and you are worried about tripping or losing your way.

No matter your age, you likely feel more comfortable and confident with a light as your guide.

Have you ever felt unsure of what next step to take in your life? Or like you’re wandering around alone in the dark?

The lamp of the body is the eye. If then your eye is healthy, your whole body will be filled with light, but if your eye is evil, your whole body will be filled with darkness. If then the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
Matthew 6:22-23

Before we encounter Jesus, we can live vibrant lives, but they will be lacking an important spark. There is an aching hole in our hearts that can only be filled by Jesus’ light.

Jesus is our comforter, companion, source of confidence, and the one we can turn to when we make mistakes. As we journey together to become more of who God created us to be, we should ultimately become more and more whole.

But what is wholeness and what does it look like?

To me, wholeness means being completely yourself, unashamed and unburdened, while living fully into your purpose. Because we live in a broken world, we likely won’t feel whole all of the time. But we can celebrate the “green flags” in our lives that remind us that we are on the right track.

As we follow Jesus, we are becoming who we are meant to be, and that is so beautiful.

Signs you are becoming more whole

You don’t feel as easily swayed by peer pressure or the fear of missing out
You are not ashamed of your appearance, your mistakes, your passions, or who you are in Christ
You are able to set boundaries with kindness and “no” becomes a regular part of your vocabulary
You are able to let go of things that are out of your control
You don’t feel the need to rush the process
Time with God becomes a habit and an enjoyable part of your day
You feel less and less like you have to hide things from God
You respect yourself and those around you
Though you may feel lonely at times, you are comforted in the reminder that you are really never alone
You feel strong enough to serve others with Jesus’ love
Negative self-talk ceases
You don’t feel burdened by resentment or tied down by vengefulness
It isn’t painful to celebrate other people’s victories; you know that you are not behind even if you aren’t on the same track as them
No matter what you are doing, you know that you have a purpose
You are eager to pursue God’s will, even if it isn’t clear yet
Perhaps others are beginning to notice positive changes in you 🙂

I hope this list isn’t overwhelming for you, but rather encouraging. It isn’t a checklist to complete, but rather a reminder that you are growing and changing even when your goals feel out of reach. Celebrate the small successes — they really aren’t so small. Ask God for joy for the journey, even when life is redundant or difficult, and trust that you will be sustained even in your sadness, anger, or grief.

We don’t have to pretend with God. Deep, honest, and vulnerable relationship with Him is perhaps the biggest step of growth itself.

The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. ¹⁰He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. ¹¹He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. ¹²Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.
John 1:9-12