Tag: overthinking

Unraveling the Cycle of Overthinking

Do you find yourself ruminating on embarrassing or hurtful memories rather than feeling good about yourself?

It’s the end of a long, brutal day. You settle down for a relaxing evening when suddenly–WOAH–something on your phone catches your eye. Maybe it’s a post or a text that reminds you of someone from your past. Or perhaps your phone is put away and an embarrassing memory pops into your brain instead.

Now your evening is essentially ruined because you’ve spent the past hour or so ruminating over a single interaction or response or photo. Maybe they like you, or maybe they never want to see you again. Maybe they think you’re attractive, or maybe they took one look at you and decided you’re not their type. Perhaps they left hidden messages in their text, or perhaps they were on the go and sent whatever Siri suggested for them.

You’ll never really know, and that’s the key issue. You just HAVE to know!!

Or do you really?

Have you ever found yourself stuck in the cycle of overthinking?

I appreciate Merriam Webster’s definition of overthinking, which is classified as, “putting too much time into thinking about or analyzing (something) in a way that is more harmful than helpful”.

The truth is, everything does have meaning, even if the meaning isn’t what we are imagining. However, we can’t let these embarrassing moments or interactions control our lives. Getting stuck down the rabbit hole of overthinking leads to feeling bad about yourself, resentful towards others, and fear for the future.

But how can we stop it? As an overthinker myself, I am also on the journey of reversing this cycle. Here are a few tips, and I’d love to hear any pieces of advice you have on this topic!

Tips to Avoid Overthinking

  1. Figure out what triggers your overthinking. Is it a particular app? If so, limit your time on it or unfollow the person who makes you feel bad about yourself. If a specific person leads you to overthink, reevaluate the relationship to see if your interactions with this person are leading to growth and joy or doubting and stress.
  2. Listen to positive and/or calming music. Sometimes songs, especially about heartbreak or disappointment, can lead to overthinking. Or if a song is tied to a memory that you continue to relive, you may want to avoid listening to it and focus your mind on things that will bring you hope.
  3. Acknowledge that you could be right, but that doesn’t mean the end of the world. See if there are any realistic, practical steps you can take to get out of the situation or change your circumstances. If not, seek help and wise advice rather than trapping yourself in the cycle of overthinking.
  4. Ultimately, remind yourself of what God says about you. God’s thoughts are the only ones that should really matter to us. He’s the only one who knows us fully and has our best in mind. He loves you, cares about you, and plans to use you for amazing things!

Everything does have meaning, but rarely does anything mean enough to take over our lives. Don’t let these intrusive thoughts get the best of you, but don’t beat yourself up when a discouraging thought pops into your head. Instead, take hold of it and release it. You are stronger than you think and more loved than you will ever know ❤

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9

Stuck

This morning, I was changing my daily calendar next to my bed, and I noticed an old clock that has been sitting there ever since we moved into this house. When I was a kid, I thought it was antique by the way the numbers are still Roman numerals and the clock is protected by a glass covering.

But the thing I noticed today was that the time had stopped working. The little second hand was ticking repeatedly between 11:27 and 11:28. This got me thinking a little bit.

I’m the sort of person who relives mistakes, embarrassing moments, and even good ones over and over again. That keeps me stuck between my 11:27 “past” and my 11:28 “future”. That isn’t a place where I can grow or move on.

Moving on is really hard. It means we have to let go of not only past mistakes, but past dreams. It means we have to be willing to face new challenges instead of harping on the old ones. It means we have to have the courage to say “yes” to God.

But I think that if we ask God for that courage, He will give it to us in a heartbeat.

Be gentle with yourself as you try to move on. Don’t rush the process, because then you will only have a temporary solution, not permanent peace and contentment. But be willing to take a look at what you do have in the present instead of worrying about what you missed out on in the past. That way, you won’t make that mistake again.

No matter how long it takes you to move on, you are not a lesser person for having doubts, making mistakes, or having trouble with change. Everyone is different, and when we compare ourselves, we will only feel worse about ourselves.

I may have shared this quote before, but it’s important.

The fastest way to ruin something beautiful is to compare it with something else.

Remember that you are a beautiful creation, and nothing you do or think can change that. You may not have been made for a specific person, situation, or opportunity. That’s okay. You were made for something even greater that needs YOU. Not the person you think is better looking, more successful, or more talented. The world needs you.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

Romans 8:18