motivation – The Will to Wake Up

A Letter to the Longing

A letter to those ready to give up on love ❤

Dear Chaser of Love,

Another meal alone. Another day without answers. Another broken promise.

You hear of beautiful love stories and wonder when yours will be spun. Or if it’s all just a pipe-dream.

You cling onto hope, desperate to finally feel desired. Telling yourself each day that God has someone out there for you, even when you aren’t really sure.

And perhaps that’s true, though you don’t need to wait for the perfect partner to come along before you can find real love.

You are hopelessly, fanatically, passionately chasing after love. But what if Love is findable, just not in the places you have been looking.

If you seek God with all your heart, you will find Him. God is Love, thus you will discover love when you seek God with everything inside of you.

Yes, you may still feel loneliness and disappointment. People will come and go, and it’s important to take the time to grieve those losses. But with each storm, you will have Someone guiding your path. Bringing you the hope and joy you once thought was lost forever.

I pray that today is the day you can begin to hope again. Not in empty dreams, no matter how wonderful they could have been, but in a very real God who loves you and wants you to reach out to Him. He will give you all you need and more.

Love,

Hannah

Time

A poem for the weary.

Time is a gift we all share.

Never enough, yet somehow overflowing.

We weave in and out of each other’s lives.

Held back, pushed forward, taking the plunge–

All thanks to Time.

We mark our lives by it, yet it flows loosely through our fingers.

No one knows when it will

Suddenly

Just

Stop.

The Maker of Time must laugh

And cry

When He watches us make foolish predictions.

The ache in our hearts when we’re just

One step behind.

Too late.

Too early.

Too much.

Too soon.

Yet nothing feels that way for Him.

Breathe.

All rests in His hands.

And somehow

It will all be fine.

One step at a time.

Audio: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/ukaqGo9Kesb

Grace Through It All

Encouragement for your heart today ❤

There is grace in the waiting, the wishing, the wanting. Even when it feels like you have hoped for too long with no results, even when it feels selfish to persist.

There is grace in the mistakes, the ones that feel countless and the ones teaching you new things. Even when others make it seem like a flaw counts against your humanity, remember that pride steals our joy, and when we can laugh and learn, we are best headed towards becoming our full selves.

There is grace in the loyal, the faithful, the true. The times when you feel as though your heart can’t hold much more, yet there’s still much to do.

There is grace for the humble, the overlooked, the neglected. When you feel behind others after overcoming more obstacles to get to where you are today.

There is grace for the doubtful, the skeptical, the tired. The ones who wonder if God really exists, or worry that He doesn’t care. Even through the questions, God is right there.

There is grace for the arrogant, the prideful, the hard-hearted. One doesn’t create such a shell without wounds to hide and unfinished healing to repair.

There is grace for the soft-spoken, the lonely, the spoken-over. Though you may have felt like your words don’t matter, they are what will bring needed change to this world.

There is grace for the loud, the chaotic, the energetic. You may have been led to feel like “too much”, when really our world wouldn’t function without your constant motion.

There is grace for the creative, the thoughtful, the dreamer. Though you have often been told that your imagination isn’t practical, hold onto your dreams and know that someday you will find yourself in a place greater than you can comprehend.

There is grace for you, whoever you are, wherever you are. Whether today was the best day of your life or left you in tears. Whether you have found yourself at the end of your rope, continuing a cycle you thought you had broken. Whether you are wishing to hold this day in your heart forever, never wanting to let go of the comfort it brings you.

We need grace because we are all of these things at points in our lives, whether in the past or yet to come. We are only human, and yet we are wonderfully human. God holds us close and sets us free to grow, guiding us through with each heartbeat, with every step.

These steps, these rhythms are bringing you closer and closer to the person you are meant to be. And that, my friend, is a beautiful thing indeed. ❤

You will go out in joy
    and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
    will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
    will clap their hands.
Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,
    and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord’s renown,
    for an everlasting sign,
    that will endure forever.
Isaiah 55:12-13

Remembering Your Worth

You belong here ❤

We can only be guarded for so long before others’ words get to us. Perhaps it’s an insensitive comment from a friend or a rude request from a coworker. Maybe it’s the lack of effort from someone you care about, or the wrong kind of action from a person you thought understood you.

Whatever it is, it can be easy to forget how we should really see ourselves. Thankfully, God reminds us daily of how valuable we are to Him. But we have to be on the lookout for those reminders, whether that means reading the Bible, spending time with people who show us God’s love, or being intentional about remembering how God has been there in the past.

This morning, I saw a post that really discouraged me. When I opened up my Bible, the first passage I was reading didn’t bring me much hope. But something inside told me to keep going–perhaps that was the Holy Spirit. The following chapter, Isaiah 55, was exactly what my heart needed.

Despite all the things God could be doing, He chooses to spend time with us. To be intentional about speaking to us. To guide us and grow us through everything we experience.

Isn’t that beautiful? He loves you that much!

No matter what anyone says or thinks of you, they cannot take away the love God has for you. You have an extraordinary purpose. You belong here. ❤

Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
Isaiah 55:3

When It Feels Like God Can’t Hear You

Encouragement for when your prayers feel useless.

Silence.

You prayed and you begged and you wept until your eyes were puffy and your throat was sore.

Or maybe it was all in your head. Pounding words, pleading for a break, for a second chance, for a sign. Praying until your head ached, overloaded and overwhelmed.

Perhaps it was a simple prayer. Off-handed, just to see if God’s up there, somewhere.

No answer.

Things didn’t work out, you didn’t get a sign, and your life sucks just as much as it did yesterday.

Maybe…God didn’t hear you.

Or maybe God just doesn’t care.

That’s what the enemy likes to tell us, anyway. That God is incapable of something like listen or respond. But God hears every single prayer.

Maybe that makes it worse. Maybe knowing that God hears every prayer and things still aren’t working out causes your heart to grow heavy. Why would a God who cares allow your life to be ruined?

I have a new question for you: What if your life isn’t ruined?

As humans, we love filling in gaps, guessing what happens next. We plan our lives out to the end, expecting–or at least hoping–for things to go our way. And with God on our side, what could go wrong?

So many times in my life, I’ve felt God leading me towards a new path to take, and I expected God’s blessing to come in the form of everything working out the way I anticipated.

And then things didn’t work out. Relationships fell apart, mistakes were made, and hearts were broken.

Where was God in all of that?

Right there. Right next to me, just like God’s right next to you.

It is through these moments that I’m reminded of a hard truth.

Sometimes, God leads us into situations that are difficult. Just because a situation is difficult, doesn’t mean that God didn’t direct us there.

But we can find peace knowing that God won’t take us through those seasons without a purpose. To help us grow, to spread His light, and ultimately to bring us closer to Him.

So what is the point of praying if God has His own way of working everything out?

Prayer is more than asking God for things or trying to make a situation turn out a certain way. Prayer is a way of showing God that we trust Him through everything, no matter the outcome.

Prayer is our way of connecting to God.

Just let that sink in a moment. We have the opportunity to talk to the Divine, and we often allow momentary disappointment take away from the surreality of the truth.

God wants to talk to us. Yes, God also listens, and He hears every prayer. But going into prayer time with the mindset that God has something to say to you will change everything.

The next time you feel like God isn’t listening to you, ask God to show you what He wants you to get out of the circumstance you’re in.

Maybe He wants to grant you His overwhelming peace and comfort. Maybe He’s showing you how strong you are when you trust Him. Or maybe you are going through this in order to get to an even greater result.

Never underestimate the power of God.

But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.
Exodus 9:16

An Endless Journey Towards Healing

In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, I will be sharing my personal story to encourage you on your journey ❤

It was like a flip of the switch. Suddenly, the easygoing, joyful young girl I used to recognize was gone. In her place came an overbearing, extremely sensitive, critical little monster.

And that monster was me.

Though a series of difficult events were unfolding in my life, I can’t pinpoint any of them as the root cause of this change. It just…happened.

For a long time, I saw myself as this monster. This person who couldn’t be pleased, who drowned in her own misery when alone. This person who thought nobody wanted to be her friend, when really there were people around who just didn’t notice. And there were some who did notice, but she couldn’t seem to see them at the time.

I look at the past like another lifetime. Another person acting out my life.

And it’s true that much has changed, both in the way I see the world now, and the world itself. But we can’t completely separate ourselves from previous parts of our journey. Pretending like those things don’t bother us anymore is just a disservice to everybody.

Last summer, many of the challenges I faced at the start of my mental health journey resurfaced. But instead of working through them, I pushed them down.

“I’m not the weak, pathetic person I used to be,” I told myself. “I’m over all that.”

But acting like that person was weak and pathetic only caused me further harm. It made me think that I had to be those negative attributes if I was struggling mentally.

I wasn’t weak; I was worn-out and tired. I wasn’t pathetic; I was hungry for the satisfaction and healing that only God can bring.

That was me then, at age 15. That was me last summer. And that is still me today.

When you don’t deal with something, it comes back to face you sooner or later. Sure enough, after being in an unhealthy environment in the fall, I had to remove myself from that community in order to find the deeper healing I needed.

But I can’t say that’s the end of my story.

Sometimes it feels endless, searching for healing. As one thing is resolved, another comes up. But what if we look at each day as a new chance for more than just stress and anxiety?

Every day is a new chance for healing. For grace. For peace.

That also means that every day can be a challenge of trying to accept those gifts from God. It means not feeling worthy of them. It means fighting with my thoughts while trying to focus on the things that actually matter to me.

And it means making healing matter to me.

Mental health can’t be something we push off to tomorrow. You know this. Your mind won’t let you forget it.

Let today be the day that you start to take care of yourself, no matter what others think.

Not everyone will understand. That’s something I had to learn as I’ve begun to take steps towards taking care of myself this year.

But that’s okay. Not everyone needs to understand.

God understands. He designed you, after all, and He will use your story for great things.

It may be hard to see now, but you are growing. You are beautiful, with all your broken pieces. You don’t need to fix yourself. You just need to let the ultimate Healer restore you. ❤

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and I encourage you to share your story with others. It doesn’t have to be on a big platform or even in public. You can share it with a friend or another loved one. Someone who wants the best for you.

Our stories matter. Sure, they don’t reflect every person’s story. No single story can, and we don’t need to burden ourselves with that great of a task.

Just sharing your story is enough to inspire and empower people. To help them know that they are not alone.

You are not alone. ❤

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.
Mark 12:30-31

To The Indifferent American Teen

An open letter to GenZers.

Dear Indifferent American Teen,

Struggling to get up. Lacking motivation. Scrolling for hours. Feeling like a failure. Looking to your elders. Regretting your short life. You fight a battle too. I feel you.

You Indifferent American Teen.

You say “I don’t care”. Your shrug and your smirk confirm it.

But your “I don’t cares” are your cries for help. Your cries tell me that you do care.

You care until your insides ache and you can barely swallow your pride. You care until your face blemishes and your eyes are forced to turn aside. You care and you care and you care until all you care about is yourself. And that kills you the most.

Indifference is the mask you have been taught to wear. Only this type of mask doesn’t protect you. It pulls you back. It holds you captive. You are stuck in a web of lies.

I think you care. People say you don’t, but I know you. I am you. I feel you.

I think you care the most.

Every time your heart breaks, you must evaluate how someone will react. Will you lose a friend? Will you be cancelled? Will life ever be the same?

Every time a new issue pops up, it feels too far away to be real. Yet you don’t want to be left behind. But grasping in the dark for something steady to support you is an endless battle that will tear you apart until you become as empty as your spirit after a tough night.

You are in a sea of emotions. You are drowning and the only thing you can use as a lifesaver is indifference.

Indifference makes you sarcastic and pathetic. Indifference makes you hard and distant. Indifference makes you laugh when you know it stings the soul of a fellow human being who stares at you until the laughter dissolves into a tidal wave of tears.

Indifference is the deepest feeling of all.

You have been hurt. Your wounds are deep. But you can’t blame a war or a movement or a lack of knowledge. Instead, you blame yourself.

But you don’t want to be weak. You are supposed to be strong. Strong and independent. Proving your worth. That’s who you are. You can’t change. That’s what they say, anyway.

Even though you’re young with a full life ahead of you. Even though you’re bright and you aren’t your parents. Even though you’re special and precious and loved. Even though all these things…who are you?

I’m sitting beside you. I won’t tell you to cry or to feel or to trust me. Trust, that’s something in short supply. What I’ll tell you is this: You aren’t alone. Staring out at the starry night sky, there is someone–thousands of someones–who are just like you. And they don’t know who that person is either.

I don’t know you. Maybe you don’t want me to. Maybe the only thing keeping you going is keeping your identity a mystery. All yours, no one else’s.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but someone does know you. Someone cares about you. That Someone wants you. Needs you. Trusts you. Values you.

That Someone will love you the way your heart longs to be loved as your eyes linger a little too long on the one that broke your heart. It wasn’t their love that you needed. It was Someone’s.

I’ll venture to say, it was God’s.

So when you feel indifferent, tell Someone that. Tell Him and wait. You might just get a feeling.

I know I did.

Sincerely,

Your Fellow American Teen, who isn’t so indifferent anymore

Why Do We Do What We Do?

Hope for when you feel your motivations shifting.

When I first published my book, I boldly declared, “If even one person is positively impacted through my writing, then it will all be worth it.”

What a humble notion, if only truly believed. When I first published the book, I received much more support and encouragement than I could’ve imagined. But as time went on and my circle had either read it, bought it, or forgotten about it already, I felt deflated. Yes, I wanted to believe that it would be enough for me if only one life was touched. In fact, I desperately wanted to live by that.

About a month went by and I was finally told the exact story I wanted to hear: A person who read my book and was going through a hard time was encouraged. A person I didn’t even know personally, in fact. And for a while, that was enough for me.

But today, while still incredibly grateful for those who have supported my book and for the ways God has used it to encourage others, I am left asking myself, “Why did I write this book in the first place? Why do I do what I do?”

How often do you go into a situation, perhaps a job or even a relationship, with the noblest of intentions, only to end up disappointed if not given the recognition or praise you had hoped for?

Better yet, how often do you reflect on your intentions before committing to something?

We are reminded in the Bible that intentions don’t determine everything. As the parable of the two sons goes, the son who doesn’t want to do the task but gets it done anyway is the one rewarded (Matthew 21:28-32). It’s not just the intention, but the follow-through.

However, while intentions certainly aren’t everything, but they are something.

The Bible also informs us that God knows our thoughts and the state of our hearts (Psalm 94:11). Therefore, even if everyone thinks we are doing something out of the goodness of our hearts, God will know whether or not that is true. Unfortunately, because of our sinful natures, we are often tempted to not do things for the right reason.

But the best part of intentions and actions going hand-in-hand is that God can use even the things that were not done out of the right motives. He can also help us redeem ourselves and be reminded of godly motives, perhaps ones we started out with, but lost along the way.

So today as I asked myself again, “Why did I write this book?”, I was reminded of a memory.

Young Hannah, sitting all by herself in the lunchroom, wishing someone with the right motives would come talk to me. Over the course of the year, I had already been approached by the pitiers, the ones just wanting a vote (what with the student body elections coming up), and the passers-by. And in the end, I was left alone, feeling worse than before.

In that moment, I knew I could never be one of those people. All I wanted was to genuinely be there for someone else, to help them finally feel seen and not alone anymore.

And now, as I think back to the ways this book sprang up out of surprising circumstances, truly inspired by God and the lonely times He’s brought me through, I am humbly reminded that yes, even one life is worth saving. My “sacrifice”, doing what I love, but perhaps for a smaller audience than I would’ve hoped for, is really a privilege.

Today, ask yourself what your intentions are, no matter what field or stage of life you are in. Don’t feel ashamed if your intentions aren’t what they used to be; we are all given the grace to start fresh again. Be reminded that no matter what you do, God will use it for good.

But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.
Exodus 9:16

The End is in Sight

Have you lost your hope for the future?

When you read the title, you might’ve expected this article to be related to the “End Times” or the end of the world. However, I’m no expert on that subject (though who is?) and I’d rather focus on what we don’t have to speculate about.

The truth is, the reason why we long for the end and speculate about Jesus’ second coming is because life on Earth can be really stressful and unnerving. We feel stuck here, unsure where life will take us next.

So the real question is, how can we get unstuck?

Whenever I’m in a tough class, it encourages me to count down the days until the end of the quarter. Why? Because having a specific number of days, no matter how many, reminds me that the end is in sight. I know I won’t be stressed forever.

My answer to how we can get unstuck boils down to one word: Hope.

Hope is laughed at, scorned upon, and belittled in our current society. Yet I believe hope is waiting to be found, a glimmer of light that grows the longer we cling onto it.

Just as classes don’t go past their end date, we won’t suffer through seasons for an unnecessarily long period of time. And ultimately, we won’t be on Earth longer than we have to be either. God knows how many days until we’re with Him, and until then we are meant to make an impact right here, where we are.

When we get burned out, we forget to focus on the present’s generous offerings. Perhaps those offerings are a smile from a stranger or a moment of stillness or laughing with loved ones. Even the small moments of beauty and hope mean something.

If you are feeling stuck, step back and breathe. Remember that you will not be in this situation forever. Trust that no matter what life throws at you, you still have a reason to keep hoping.

Why? Because the God of the universe is in control and He will make all things right in their own time. Most of all, God loves you very much and will use you for great things.

And remember, no matter what, you are loved beyond comprehension ❤

Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming.
1 Peter 1:13

Jesus, Heal Our Land

Our broken world needs healing more than ever, but how can we obtain that?

I came across a verse this evening that really resonated with me.

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14

Now, for a bit of context before we dive into this passage, God is speaking to Solomon right after Solomon dedicated his newly constructed temple to the Lord. Clearly, the Israelites already have a track record of not listening to God after asking for a worldly, human ruler in place of God and constantly looking to other ungodly people groups to gain “inspiration” for how to live. However, even after everything, out of the endless love in His heart, God promises His people that He will listen when they call out to Him.

As you can see, our world is no better than the world during 2 Chronicles. There is so much man-made destruction of relationships, identity, nature, and internal wellbeing. People are dying every day at the hands of others’ selfishness. Others are suffering for the sake of wealth or status or even tradition. None of these things would be happening if God were recognized as our leader because God is just, merciful, and loving. We need deep healing in our land.

You might think that we are too far gone. And truthfully, I often feel that way as well. But God is always willing to give us a second (or millionth) chance. When we cry out, He listens. But we need to be in the right “heart space” in order to have this intimate relationship with God.

And where better to learn than through God’s own instruction?

Humble Yourselves

The first command God gives Solomon for the Israelites relates to humility. Pride (the opposite of humility) is one of our biggest separators from God. When we recognize that our worth comes from God alone, we accept that we need His grace and forgiveness in order to live fully. We cannot do anything by our own strength. The glory must truly go to God.

Pray

Prayer comes in many forms. The traditional list of prayer requests often feels lengthy and unnecessary. But prayers are really just a conversation with God. We need to build in time for listening and accepting the convictions He gives us. That often requires discomfort, but it’s worth it for the sake of growth. And if we have followed the first step, humbling ourselves, then we are more likely to be able to take the changes God wants for us. We are also given the opportunity to experience joy through gratitude during these times of prayer.

Unique ways to pray:

Prayer journaling

Writing letters to God

Singing

Taking a walk through nature and listening for God

Popcorn prayers (going back and forth with another person to list off what needs prayer)

Reading scripture

Seek My Face

We can’t just expect God to be waiting to serve us at our hands and feet. We need to make intentional effort to have a relationship with God too. By reading the Bible, listening for God, and truly having the desire to know Him, we will be able to seek His face. God loves a willing, inquisitive heart and will reward the efforts you make to find Him.

Turn from Your Wicked Ways

Something our culture doesn’t like to hear is that we do actually do things that aren’t right. Shocking, I know.

But seriously, while God loves us no matter what, He doesn’t want us to stay buried in our lives of sin. He wants to free us from the chains sin places on us. Knowing what is a sin and being willing to accept that we aren’t perfect requires all the previous steps (humility and knowing God’s character).

The awesome thing is that when we do things that are wrong, God doesn’t inflict shame upon us the way the world does. Rather, we are given hope that things can get better and that we are designed for greater things.

I hope you will join me in praying for our broken world. My heart goes out to all of you who have truly felt the weight of the world on your shoulders. You are loved. Don’t give up showing God’s light, we need it more than ever.