Ministry – The Will to Wake Up

Is God Still Using Me?

A reflection on my journey from stepping back from corporate ministry to finding peace and purpose in serving God with purer motives.

My greatest realization after stepping back from corporate ministry was uncovering the unhealthy motives for why I served.

As a teen, I felt invisible at church. I struggled to belong at youth group, I was scared to participate in mission trips, and it felt like the only way to be part of the community was to serve.

Then I started my official ministry position during a very vulnerable period of my life when it seemed like everything else was falling apart. I sought a sense of purpose, and the church was more than happy to make me useful. Watching the number of students grow and receiving praise for my spiritual gifts was addicting…and exhausting because deep down, I knew that wasn’t what church was supposed to be about.

Through my position as Children’s Ministry Resident, I served multiple times a week, developed curriculum, spoke regularly in front of my congregation–and if there was anything going on at church, I was there.

I didn’t only serve for selfish or insecure reasons. I deeply cared about the congregation, especially the kids, and I believe God called me to that position for a season.

But after burning out, I started listening to God’s nudge for me to leave that church and explore new pastures with Him. Upon coming home from my last day of work, I was overwhelmed with peace. The lyrics to the worship song, “I Surrender,” flowed from my heart.

Yet it took months to truly transition out of my old mindset, a mindset so fixated on producing quality programs and pleasing the congregants that I put my personal relationship with God on the back-burner.

The phrase, “it was the difference between night and day,” understates what transitioning from being on church leadership to being a regular congregant felt like. One minute, everybody knew my name and expected so much of me. The next, I was wandering into different churches and leaving without a trace.

I kept pushing away the fear (rather than bringing it to God), “Does anyone still need me anymore? Do I have a place in ministry without working for a church?”

After a couple months of searching, I landed on a new church, ironically three minutes away from my house. There were two things that confirmed God wanted me to be there: I felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me through the sermons, and they sang “I Surrender” my first time worshipping with them.

Surrendering my work duties wasn’t hard–it was honestly a relief. At last, I could actually pay attention during service instead of running around meeting everybody’s needs.

But surrendering my pride and my desire to feel needed? That required much more faith and humility.

When observing how this new church operated, I certainly had moments of thinking, “If I were in charge, I’d do this differently,” and “Ouch, they still don’t remember my name?”.

God didn’t allow my pride or past pain prevent me from growing. Stepping back to rest and focus on how God wanted to refine me was crucial in preparing me for the challenges and opportunities to come.

Over the past year and a half, God’s placed me in situations that have required tremendous faith. I wouldn’t have been able to trust in Him this deeply–and cry out to Him for help when I struggle to trust–had I not spent this time growing in my understanding of God’s character and dwelling in His presence.

Resting in God doesn’t mean we can’t serve at all. Participating in the body of Christ by sharing our gifts is a valuable part of the Christian walk. But we can’t serve well if we are relying on our own strength and motivated by anything other than a love and appreciation for God and His people.

Our heart motives change when we realize that:

We aren’t needed by God, but we are wanted by Him. Not wanted in the way a child begs for a new toy that they’ll forget about in seconds, but deeply desired, as one might long for their significant other.
We are not capable on our own. The success of our ministry stems from our reliance on God.
Rest is an act of worship…and faith. When we take the time to rest, we are admitting we cannot do anything on our own strength and we need to be empowered by the Holy Spirit.
Just because God isn’t using you in the same way He did before doesn’t mean He isn’t using you at all. When you surrender your life to Him, there will always be opportunities for ministry, perhaps in more organic ways.

This past school year, God’s guided me toward getting more involved in my new church by teaching children again and serving in other background roles, all with much better boundaries. And you know what? I don’t miss having congregants come up to praise my public speaking skills or seeing my name on the wall of leaders.

By not investing as much time in church-specific ministries, I’ve also had more capacity to invest in the lives of my friends and Bible study partners, pray intentionally for them, and reflect on how I can grow in my relationships.

There might be a season where God calls me to serve in a larger capacity in corporate ministry again, but for now, I have peace trusting that God will use me wherever I’m at. No ministry is too small to be used by Him to do amazing things.

If you are doubting your purpose or value, remember who you are in Christ:

The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. ¹⁷Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Romans 8:16-17 (NIV)

“Though the mountains be shaken
    and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
    nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
    says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

Isaiah 54:10 (NIV)

Our purpose? To be God’s daughter or son.

Our value? Immeasurable. We are worth everything to God, who loved us enough to send His son to die for us so that we may have everlasting life with Him.

Trust that God loves you so much that He has a perfect plan for you. ❤

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

Why are You in Ministry?

Reflections on participating in ministry.

We are all in ministry.

Yes, even you, even in an office or a classroom or at home. In fact, it often takes different forms over the course of your life. Sometimes it means serving in Sunday school, other times it means caring for a unbelieving family member.

Ministry is often defined in religious settings as working towards bringing people to God and discipling them with God’s love. Everyone, whether people who have grown up in faith or haven’t heard a single word from the Bible, needs to experience God’s ministry.

Here is one definition of ministry: “A person or thing through which something is accomplished” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). Another word for this is instrumentality, which means the state of being a crucial tool.

In some ways, I like this definition because it reminds us of our purpose as God’s creation to spread the good news of Jesus’ love and sacrifice to others so that their lives can be transformed. However, when we begin to view our ministry as a thing that needs to be accomplished, we lose sight of what really matters.

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a very insightful pastor who shared about a discussion he was having with other sermon-writers about balancing the need to create sermons that both serve the congregation and also allow for the pastors themselves to explore where God’s Spirit is leading and teaching them individually.

While it may seem like a pastor’s main job is to serve the congregation, how much richer would sermons be if pastors wrote them from a place of curiosity and readiness to grow closer to God in their own spiritual journeys?

Though you may not be writing a sermon anytime soon, I believe this approach to ministry is crucial no matter where we serve. Most of my ministry is in the form of creating and teaching lessons for kids. Recently, I’ve found myself overly focused on creating a fun and memorable experience for the kids rather than trying to hear what God is teaching me through these lessons.

This past year has been a season of stepping back and reevaluating why I’m in ministry. Is it to fulfill a hole in my life? Is it to feel needed? Is it because I love God and His people? Is it because I am called?

And what happens when a calling shifts? Does that mean I have to move even if good work is being done?

Last fall, I had been wrestling over whether or not to leave a ministry position at the end of my term, particularly because it had felt like my calling for a period of time and I hadn’t experienced a clear new calling yet. After several events and encounters led me to conclude that it was time to step aside and make room for a new leader, I still had lingering questions in the back of my mind: Am I really supposed to leave? How can I know for sure?

Then it hit me this week, as I’m winding down my time in this position, one question I hadn’t asked myself until now: Is my participation in this ministry bringing me closer to God or hurting my relationship with Him?

Truthfully, while I believe other parts of my life are drawing me closer to God, my recent experiences in this role have not been beneficial to my spiritual wellbeing. They have caused me to get caught up in the “doing” rather than the “being” of relationship with God and others.

I think it’s important for everyone in ministry to periodically reevaluate why they are in ministry. If this is the place where you are at right now, I’m inviting you to ask yourself these questions as honestly as you can:

What originally drew me to this ministry? Do those factors still apply? Have new factors arisen?
How do I feel after participating in this ministry?
Do I still sense a calling from God to stay in this ministry?
Are there other ministries that I am more drawn to?
Is my participation in this ministry bringing me closer to God or hurting my relationship with Him (and others)?

These aren’t questions for the faint of heart, and I pray that you are presented with answers that bring you clarity and peace. God is working in you wherever you are, and nothing you can do will change that.

You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.

Such confidence we have through Christ before God.
2 Corinthians 3:2-4

What Should Our First Priority Be in Ministry?

Though there should be many goals in ministry, one aspect must come first.

Though I’ve only recently become an “official” person in ministry (with a job title), I have volunteered for years and participated in and witnessed others’ ministry. And through that, as different pastors or directors have come and go, each with different missions and ideas, one key aspect has remained crucial. If it was there, it caused the church to flourish; if it was lacking, it was painfully missed.

There are many goals and values people in ministry need to have in mind, but I believe there is one thing that must come before everything else.

Our first priority in ministry is to make others feel cared about.

No fancy ways around this, no complicated language to confuse the main goal. Just simply, make others feel cared about.

Now, you might be thinking, “Caring about others is all fine and good, but what about Church doctrine and the scriptures and equipping others?”

Here is where I must clarify: We aren’t supposed to start and end with making people feel cared about, but it must be our starting place if we want any of the other elements of being in a church community to exist.

I’ve heard many stories of people who have left the Church because they didn’t feel noticed or respected or valued. I had my own experiences in youth group, where I dreaded going for fear of feeling isolated or out of place among people who were supposed to be like family.

You can be a nice person while still missing the mark on this quest for being loving. It takes intentional effort, a pure heart, and thoughtfulness to make people truly realize they belong.

Ultimately, it means embodying (in our own humanly way) the love of Christ.

Regarding the concept that our first priority of the Church should be preaching the gospel, I believe we are preaching the gospel when we demonstrate the key characteristics of the one we serve–Jesus, and giving Him all the glory. Furthermore, Christianity is based on obeying God, but the only reason we want to obey God is because of His love for us. What motive would we have for submission to His will if we didn’t have His love?

The only way to get the Church to go out into all the world and preach the good news is to infuse its members with the kind of love and compassion Jesus brought us.

This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t hold people accountable or sugarcoat the truth of God’s word. Rather, the truth is better received when coming from a loving, caring heart. When we take the time to understand God’s word for ourselves, we’ll be better at bringing its attributes into our lives.

Today, whether you serve in a church or not, you have the opportunity to show God’s love to the people in your community. This doesn’t have to be as complicated as it seems. Allow yourself to soak in Jesus’ unfailing love for you and extend that patience, forgiveness, and understanding to others. Simple acts of kindness, remembrance, and grace make all the difference.

This won’t be easy or natural at first, but over time, it will become a part of who you are. And in doing so, you become more like Jesus, which is the most wonderful thing you can ever do. ❤

Show them what you’re made of, the love I’ve been talking up in the churches. Let them see it for themselves!
2 Corinthians 8:24 (MSG)