Tag: love

What to Do with Regrets

It’s okay to have regrets. Wait–what?? Read on to find out why.

I’m going to say something that people who know me are going to be shocked by.

It’s ok to have regrets.

You’re probably like, uh…then why do you talk about taking risks? Stepping out of your comfort zone? Emphasizing a life WITHOUT regrets?

Well, regrets are a part of life, and pretty much unavoidable. Of course I don’t like regrets. You shouldn’t just get comfortable with constantly having them. But they are not something that we should necessarily dwell on if we can’t do anything more about the situation.

That’s not to say that we shouldn’t learn from our past mistakes– of course we should reflect on them enough to not repeat them.

But everything that happens is part of God’s greater plan for our lives.

That job you turned down. That date that didn’t happen. That class you decided not to take. That conversation that wasn’t had. That missed opportunity.

Those didn’t happen because something better was in store for you.

Back when I started this blog, I was dealing a lot with my own past regrets. I even have a blog post in my drafts that is titled “How to Live a Life Without Regrets”. I wanted a second chance. I thought it was too late. But it wasn’t.

God gave me a second chance to do what I had longed to have done before.

It didn’t go the way I had imagined before. I wasn’t actually missing out on such a big opportunity after all.

Yet, I’m very grateful for that second chance. It gave me confidence, helped a relationship, and brought some truth to the surface. God loves giving us another try.

But whether or not you find out from experience that perhaps what you regretted was not as great as originally thought or you never know what it could’ve been, just remember that your past doesn’t define you. What your life looks like now is what it’s meant to be. You can work hard to prevent having regrets, like taking risks and going for new opportunities, but if you don’t have to beat yourself up over what’s been said and done already.

You are here for an incredible purpose and nothing you can do will change God’s plan for your life. God is here in the seasons of waiting. The seasons of lonliness. The seasons of questioning. Be willing to listen to His still, small voice. Even in the dark, when you’re alone with your thoughts. God is there, working in your life.

The plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations.

Pslam 33: 11

Filling Up From the Well

There is so much for us to think about as we grieve how our nation has treated people with injustice and without understanding. These days may feel dreary for you, whether you are personally affected or joining in the grieving. Today my pastor spoke on this issue, and how the most important thing we can do is listen to those who are hurting right now.

A lot of us are going through different seasons in our lives, whether we are dealing with issues related to what’s going on in the nation or not. I’m sure that you have people in your life that need to feel God’s unconditional love from you. But the hardest thing to do is give out that love when we have the wrong priorities.

Sometimes we give so much because we feel like we have to. God will equip us with everything we need, but we have to spend time praying, listening to God, and resting before we can give out that love to others. We need to drink from the well before we can give the living water to others.

There is so much I could say. There is so much I want to say. But instead I would like you to reflect on whether or not you are effectively showing God’s love to others. Have you been able to feel nourished too? Take care of yourself as well as others, but remember that everyone comes from different situations. Everyone has a different past. Everyone is a precious human being created in God’s image and deserves life and love. Whether or not you can relate to them doesn’t affect whether or not you can be an effective brother or sister in Christ to them. If you respect them and are there for them, then you can make them feel seen and loved.

The best thing you can do right now is to demonstrate God’s unfailing love without judgement. Listen, pray, and take time to just sit in God’s own love for you too.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.

-1 John 4:16

Seeing People as People

“Everyone of us needs to show how much we care for each other and, in the process, care for ourselves.”

Princess Diana

I think that it’s easy, especially because we are social distancing and doing most of our interactions online, to forget that people are really people. People are human beings, created in the likeness of God, and have a purpose. Every single one. And that includes you.

I have a relative who does not live near me, and he has often done things that would seem very self-centered. In fact, that’s been his trademark his entire life. I think that would be a fair accusation to make, too, considering his high expectations of others yet his own failure to live up to those expectations himself. I’ve never felt the “love” or concern from him, even though I should, and my family has made considerable more effort to reach out than he has. It’s easy for me to think poorly of him and forget that he is a person. Yet…

I talked to him on the phone today for the first time in months. And I remembered that he is a person.

Sometimes it takes reaching out and hearing someone’s voice or seeing someone’s face to realize how they are just as important as the person who shows you God’s love. I hope you have a community full of people that make you feel appreciated and cared for. But it’s still important to take the time to love even the difficult people who have let you down because perhaps it will help them change. Even if it won’t, you will have made them feel the way you wanted to feel.

However, don’t rely on those people or really anyone to tell you how you need to feel about yourself. Extend yourself the same grace and compassion that you want to experience. God made you very special and He wants you to not doubt yourself, or who you have become. You need to remember that you are your biggest advocate to others and you if you see yourself the way God sees you, then you don’t have to worry about the things that you compare yourself to. You should use opportunities to grow to become more like Jesus, but you should also feel satisfied where you are right now, because God’s love will sustain you.

Anyway, whether it’s an annoying coworker, a frustrating family member, or a person who has disappointed you, I hope you can see them the way God sees them today. And more importantly, I hope you can also feel God’s presence in your life and feel just as worthy and valuable as you are. ❤

“A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself.”

~Proverbs 11:17

Driven By Fear

“Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death.”

— James F. Byrnes

You don’t have to be afraid anymore.

You heard me right. Repeat it. Write it on your hand, a piece of paper, your journal. You don’t have to be afraid anymore.

You’re probably thinking, “Hannah, we’re in the middle of a global pandemic right now. Remember?”

Yeah, it’s painful obvious to me. But I also have found through this time in quarantine that the quote “the only thing to fear is fear itself” is literally one of the most accurate things ever.

Fear is what holds us back. Let me prove my point.

We get angry at other people and that ruins relationships, right? It’s because we are afraid of what would happen if they won or if they didn’t get what they “deserved”.

We worry about people and end up criticizing them because of that fear that they won’t turn out right. Again…fear is the driving force behind breaking the relationship or straining it.

We don’t do things that could build others up, strengthen us, or give us new perspective, causing us to feel trapped. We regret things because we give into fear and let go of trust.

We need to flip that around. We need to give into trust and let go of fear.

Of course I’m saying that we should be careful and mindful of others. We shouldn’t just allow people to do whatever they want when they are hurting others or themselves. But we need to realize that we aren’t in control of anything except our mindsets. And if we trust God, we can have hope, joy, and peace. We don’t have to be afraid.

Fear has caused me great grief in the past. But I’m learning alongside you to let go.

Today, let Jesus’ love be enough. Let yourself realize that you are protected. Nothing happens without it being meant to happen. You don’t have to be afraid anymore.

Freedom sounds so fresh. We long for it right now. So take a hold of the driver’s seat and push fear aside. You’re in control of what’s going on in that head of yours, not fear. Don’t let fear win. Let love win. And I guarantee that you will suddenly feel a burden lift and the skies opening up for you. We can get through this together.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

1 John 4:8

Trusting God Through Everything

First of all, I’d like to apologize since I was really getting into the groove of posting regularly, just to abruptly stop even though right now is the perfect time to share encouragement (even though I believe every moment is a good time for encouragement), but especially through all of the changes going on in our lives right now with the Coronavirus. People are stressed, worried about catching the virus, losing their jobs, loved-ones getting it, and maybe even how to stay sane while feeling isolated from others.

Before I go on any further, please know that all of you out there are in my prayers. I know that many are going through much severer times than I am right now. I feel very fortunate that my grandparents in Hong Kong are okay, people are trying to do the right thing and stay home to protect others around me, and much of my family is staying employed. However, I know that is not the case for many people, and I am determined to do my part to encourage those who may have hit their rockiest time right now, and if there’s anything I can do for you specifically, let me know.

I recently saw a video from a singer that I follow, and her message was that you can say that you trust someone as much as you want, but you can never truly know if you do until it’s put to the test. You have to have that trust be put into action for it to go into effect.

For example, if your friend claims that you can tell her anything, you won’t really know if you believed that statement until you tell her something personal. Or when a little kid is stuck inside a burning building, he has to demonstrate his trust for his parents by being willing to jump out the window into their arms, knowing that they will catch him.

This virus and all the consequences surrounding it are a test to see if we really trust God.

I have noticed a startling pattern in my life. Often during my hardest times in my relationship with God, the thing that has brought me back has been when I truly had no other option but to trust God, and He’s always been able to pull through. Now, I’m saying this while knowing that a lot of my prayers have not been answered the way I wanted them to. I’m going through some situations with people that are frustrating and some of them have ended up poorly, even if I prayed about them. That doesn’t mean that God isn’t there for me.

I’m also not saying that it’s easy to trust God. It’s been really hard for me lately to trust Him, to be completely honest.

The other day, someone told me that I seemed to have great confidence in my faith. I wish that were true. I am confident that my faith has grown over the years, through difficult circumstances and through kindness poured out from others, or directly from God in the Bible. But you don’t have to be without doubts to trust God. You just have to be willing to not simply think “I trust God”, but to actually apply it in your life. You have to not only pray that God will help you, but stop worrying about it. If you are actively looking for God’s hand in your life, you will find it. That I am sure of.

For all those Disney fans out there, I have to say that one of my all-time favorite scenes is where Aladdin has his hand stretched out to Jasmine and he says, “Do you trust me?” I personally think that this is one of the most romantic scenes in all of the Disney movies I’ve seen because it shows a depth in their relationship and a true conflict that many face in their relationships.

Unlike Jasmine, who barely has any reasons to actually trust Aladdin, we have a multitude of reasons why we should trust God. Take a look at His promises in the Bible. Think about the narrow escapes you’ve made in your own life, or what God’s done in other people’s lives. We have reason to trust God through this difficult time, and others to come.

God is asking you always the same question– “Do you trust me?”

So the question is, are you willing to make the leap of faith to prove your answer?

“But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.”

Psalm 5:11

True Joy = Releasing Control

Returning to Our Regularly Scheduled Program…

So…remember how I said I would be talking about joy as my first “series”? Remember how that was like…five months ago or something? Well, as you can see, I often go off topic and somehow wander back, ha-ha. Anyway, I have been thinking about joy again, so I wanted to pop into this series again, although I’m not sure if my next post will be related to joy, we’ll see.

Inherited Control-Freakness

I come from a long line of control freaks. I’m not being judgmental when I say this, they are self-proclaimed. I, myself, am also a bit of a control freak. I might not seem like it on the surface level, because I tend to go along with what other people want and I try to be flexible because I care deeply about pleasing others. However, I am actually quite stubborn, and I inwardly panic whenever things don’t go the way I plan.

I am more like this when I am placed in leadership positions or just when planning my own life, but my family often tries to control one another. A certain member of my family sets out what the other person must eat for lunch each day, and gets irritated if that person does not eat it. Money, food, how a room is decorated…those are just a few things that I often have to argue about with my family because I get frustrated with them trying to control me.

Am I saying that planning is a bad thing? NO!!!! I am definitely not, because you should be prepared and it’s silly to go into situations and build more stress for yourself if you don’t prepare. However, I am saying that at some point, the only way to have full faith in God and in His plan for your life is going along with “God’s flow”.

Going with the Flow

So I have this friend, and we occasionally talk about the future. Every time, he repeatedly states how he just “goes with the flow” and acts like he has no control over his life. Later on, I talked to another guy and he basically said the same thing. I feel like the world is often split into two groups: The Planners and the Floaters. Neither are wrong, yet neither are right.

Going with the flow may appear to relieve more stress and show more faith in God. But God will only work with you if you’re willing to actually, you know, do your part? Frankly, I feel like going with the flow in ALL areas of your life might actually add more stress because you often step into situations and are faced with a bunch of decisions that have to be made on the spot. I am horrible at that, so I could never float through life that way. However, there are definitely decisive people out there, so if that works for you, I’m glad.

The combination of going with the flow and always being prepared is going with God’s flow. I know that sounds a little silly, but that’s the only name I can think of that accurately depicts what I’m speaking of.

Going with God’s flow means that you are trusting God and not freaking out when things don’t go the way you anticipated. However, it also means that you are willing to work hard and still prepare for the future, not just expecting things to somehow work out.

How Does this Relate to Joy?

Have you ever stressed over something, an event perhaps, that you were in charge of. You were so panicked that by the end of it, you wanted to just go away and never be in charge again? While others enjoyed themselves, you spent the night stressing over everything and worrying that things weren’t going to work out. In that situation, you are missing out on having a good time, or experiencing joy.

In another situation, you may have planned every last detail down to the tablecloth design and then everything still ends up going poorly. Believe me, this has happened to me on numerous occasions and I can feel your pain! But because you were so disappointed and discouraged, you never took the time to learn from the experience. And in a way, this also causes you to lose joy because you may end up making the same mistakes in the future.

I don’t believe that joy and fear can coexist, as I stated in a previous post, and trying to control everything is a way of demonstrating fear. It’s basically telling God to His face that you don’t trust Him and you think you know more than Him.

Ouch, that wasn’t what I was thinking when I freaked out over not being able to decide the location for my last meeting, was I?

It’s easy to not realize what our little habits are doing to destroy our lives and our relationship with God. But the more ingrained these thought patterns become, thinking “oh, if only things had gone the way I had planned” or getting angry with people, the more we lose track of who we are supposed to be: joyful humans who are sharing the love of God. It’s easy to let negative thoughts fill our heads. We think that criticizing ourselves for something we can’t control is okay, and it’s not. That is ultimately shaping our actions and our opinions of ourselves.

So today, try to let loose a little bit and see what happens. Trust God and believe that even if things don’t go exactly the way you want, maybe something better was actually waiting for you. It hopefully will also help your relationships too.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”

~Matthew 6:25