Life advice – Page 12 – The Will to Wake Up

Children of God

Have you ever wondered what Jesus meant when He compared believers to children of God? Here is some encouragement for when you aren’t sure if God loves you.

I love children, I promise you I do. I spend more than half my week teaching them, taking care of them, and being humbled by them. All my previous and current jobs and volunteering opportunities have involved kids. They have such a unique way of viewing the world. It’s still mysterious and exciting to them. I love the spark in their eyes when you tell them something they’ve never heard before. They aren’t so quick to defend their former ways of thinking. They are willing to embrace the surprises in life.

But, if you’ve spent any time at all with kids, you know that they aren’t always easy to be around. They are demanding and impatient. They often believe they know what’s best for them even when they don’t, they change their minds frequently, and they are experts at whining.

When I think about Jesus commanding us to be like children, I’ve always assumed He was referring to the positive qualities I shared: curiosity, innocence, anticipation for the future. But today, as I spent time with three very precious children who ran in three different directions and expected me to be at their beck and call, I’ve found a new insight about being God’s children.

Yes, Jesus included children in His ministry to remind us to embrace the surprises in life and see the world through a child’s lens. But He’s also comparing us to children (regardless of our age) because we are His children. I don’t just mean He made us, I mean our relationship with Him is very much like a child’s is with a parent or guardian.

Just think about it for a minute. When we pray, are we listening to what God has to say, or are we demanding that He do what we ask?

He’s the only one who knows what’s best for us, yet we often like to give Him a piece of our mind the second things don’t seem to be working out.

When kids get in trouble, they often claim that they never knew what the rules were. They were never warned, therefore it’s not their fault. It’s yours. Yet, you distinctly remember telling them what would happen if they broke the rules moments earlier.

It’s easy to blame God when life doesn’t go the way we want. We claim the consequences of our actions are His fault, when really, all God wants to do is help us have a fulfilling life. But do we always want to follow His instructions to have that life?

Despite my comparisons to children being mostly negative, I actually think this relationship is beautiful. Just think about it: when a kid whines to you or demands that you do something for them, it doesn’t make you love them any less. When they don’t obey you and they get the consequence for their action, you don’t think “haha, glad they’re hurt”, you feel sympathy for them. When you make rules, it’s because you love them, not because you look forward to punishing them.

And most of all, you want them to know that no matter what they do, you will never love them less. They can’t do anything to earn that love. You love them just because of who they are.

That’s how God sees us. He doesn’t want us to get hurt. He doesn’t want us to feel heartbroken. But He allows things in our life to happen so that we can learn to run to Him. He teaches us through both the good and bad experiences. And most of all, nothing you can do can make God love you less. He loves you because of who you are, not what you accomplish.

And that, my friend, is true love.

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
1 John 4:9-11

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:37-39

Is it Wrong to be Afraid?

We’ve all struggled with fear, and it’s mentioned many times in the Bible to not be afraid. But is the feeling of fear actually wrong?

Whether it’s standing in front of a judgmental crowd, peering over the side of a mountain, or asking someone we like out, we all have struggled with fear before. I’m sure if I asked you to list out five things you’re afraid of, you could list double that. Fear is something I’ve been trying to combat for years. When we’re fearful, we certainly don’t feel good, right? The clammy palms, racing heart, and fitful sleep aren’t particularly pleasant. But does that make fear a sin?

Technically, anything that separates us from God is a sin. That means that perfectly good things, like our careers or loved ones, can become a problem when we place them above God. However, that doesn’t mean they’re inherently sinful or that they will always be a sin once we put God first again.

But there is nothing good about fear. Yes, fear can protect us from things, but I’d like to think of that as intuition more than fear. Intuition, or rather the Holy Spirit’s leading, is what keeps us away from harmful situations such as back alleyways at night or wild parties.

Fear, on the other hand, is the sole culprit when it comes to keeping us from fulfilling our purpose. We don’t reach out to people because we’re afraid of their opinion or reaction. We don’t apply for the more difficult job because we’re afraid we won’t do it well. We don’t share our faith because we’re worried we’ll be seen as weak or part of the stereotypes surrounding Christians.

However, I once heard a quote that said, “A true act of bravery is when we are afraid but do it anyway”. I don’t believe that feeling fear is sinful at all. It’s just a part of how we’re wired. We can’t control when our mind races with doubt or we start picturing the worst case scenarios. But we can control whether or not we allow fear to stop us from doing what we have to do.

That’s when fear becomes a sin: when we use it as an excuse to not do what God is prompting us to do.

This is something I personally struggle with on a regular basis. I allow other people’s opinions, fear of failure, and many other fears that surface at “just the right time” to keep me from believing that God has a perfect plan for me. God will call us to do things that are sacrificial, humbling, embarrassing even, but in the long run, it’s worth it. God promises to use us mightily; He doesn’t promise that it will go the way we want or that it will be easy.

Ask yourself the tough question, how is God calling you out of your comfort zone? Is there someone you need to reach out to? An opportunity to be had? A possession donated?

Sometimes, a lot of times actually, God’s plan doesn’t make much sense to us. But no matter where you are in life, I promise that God is working in you and through you to make a difference. Keep on hoping.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.
Hebrews 11:1-3

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
Isaiah 43:1

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.
Psalm 94:19

Song Recommendations:

Keep On Hoping, by Riley Clemmons: https://youtu.be/_GKqi4pFGoM

Same Stars, by Xander Sallows: https://youtu.be/Yyf1iedjWQQ

Love Letters to God

Do you struggle going to God after it feels like He hasn’t heard you? Here’s some encouragement.

If I were to describe love letters in three words, they would probably be vulnerable, humiliating, and bold. Now, I know it might seem like a cop-out to write a letter rather than share romantic feelings in person, but I think it’s just as brave, and possibly more meaningful. It takes more patience, because you have to actually wait for a response. Plus, it takes a ton more effort.

As person who has written (and sent) a love letter before, I can testify that it changes your life. Maybe not in the way you want or the way you expect. For me, I didn’t suddenly have the “relationship of my dreams”. Instead, I was given a new sense of confidence and appreciation. The life I wanted wasn’t what was best for me, and now I’m glad I didn’t get what I wanted at the time.

But I’m not here today to talk about romantic love. I’m here to talk about a love that is just as important–actually, more important–and can feel just as painful sometimes. Our loving relationship with God, which sometimes doesn’t feel “loving”.

Have you ever poured your heart out to God and ended up feeling exposed, even humiliated? That usually happens when A) we mistake God as a critical, angry God or B) we don’t get the results we want.

I’m not sure what you’ve been told, but God is not ashamed of you. He loves you and He welcomes you with open arms, even after you’ve made mistakes. It takes a long time to realize this, especially after making devastating mistakes. However, it’s nevertheless true.

As for not getting what we want, I’m sure we’ve all been there. I’ve shared about my long-distanced friendship with one of my best friends and how we haven’t been able to be in communication for months due to technology issues we have no control over. The day before the last time we talked, I poured my heart out to God, tears streaming down my face, bitter words on my tongue. Then, I heard from her. I thought God heard me (which He did), and that was always going to be His answer.

Well, turns out He has something else in store for us, though I’m not sure what yet. At the moment, He’s teaching me to place my beloved friend in His hands and to trust Him. But I won’t lie, at first, when I poured my heart out to Him again and again with different results, I was frustrated. I wondered if I was doing something wrong, or worse, that God didn’t care anymore.

But here’s the thing: God isn’t a magic genie who grants our wishes. When we pour our heart out to God, we won’t always get the answer that we want. But we will get the answer that’s best for us.

I don’t say that lightly. What’s meant to be will happen. When we place our difficulties into His hands, we aren’t guaranteed answers, but we are guaranteed peace. The moment I let go of the situation, I felt an inner peace. Sure, I’m still worried sometimes or frustrated, and I go to God when I feel that way. But I also know that He will always love me and do what’s best for all of us.

I never want you to stop running to God. He wants us to come to Him because He’s the only one who can truly heal our wounds and give us peace. But when you go to Him, go because you want to be in His presence rather than hoping your wishes will get granted. No one can manipulate God, which is really good, because if everyone was in control, our world would be way more chaotic than it already is.

Perhaps today you can write a love letter to God, confessing what’s on your heart and seeking healing. Love letters are often a way to find closure. Maybe when you write about what’s bothering you, you will be able to understand it better.

I’m sorry for whatever you are going through. You are allowed to feel the pain. You are valid. You belong here. And you will get through this. I promise.

Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? … No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow — not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below — indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:35, 37-39

What Counts as a Sin, Anyway?

Do you often worry about pleasing God with your actions? Here is some advice and encouragement.

In a world where truth is often undermined, it’s difficult to find answers to society’s toughest questions, especially the ones from within the church. There’s so much debate over whether or not certain actions or attitudes are actually “sins” or should be accepted.

Before I delve into my thoughts on the subject, I want to remind us (including myself) that God is the ultimate and only Judge. What makes Him a good judge is that He cannot sin. He is perfect.

We, on the other hand, are in need of His grace daily. It’s easy to be distracted by the speck in another’s eye when we have a log in our own. If we don’t struggle with lying, then we will have an easier time looking down on liars. If we don’t struggle with gossip, then we feel the liberty to guilt those who do. But God doesn’t see us as liars, thieves, gossips, or even sinners. He sees us as who we can be, and are–His precious children.

That doesn’t mean we can do whatever we want, though. Because of His great love for us, Jesus came as an atonement for our sins. If we never sinned, He never would’ve had to come. And if you think about all the evil and pain in the world, you’ll be uncomfortably reminded that sin is very prevalent in our world.

All sins are weighted the same. No sin is worse than another, and no sin is better than another. They all require the same price–death. But when asking myself whether or not an action or idea is a sin, I think of sin in two categories:

Very Obvious
The “Grey Area”

I’m sure we could list out the very obvious sins, such as murder, adultery, idol worship…so I’m not going to focus on that part. You can find all those things spelled out in the Bible, especially in the Ten Commandments.

The “Grey Area”, though, is tricky. A lot of things can fall into the grey area, and sometimes the Bible doesn’t give word-for-word definitions of these actions. That doesn’t mean we should continue doing these things, though, which is why I’m sharing the three things that help me decide whether or not something is a sin.

It Comes Between Us and God

This is the biggest factor for me. Whenever something comes between us and God, it is an idol. Idols aren’t just little wooden statues that we bow down to every day. They often take the form of our ambitions, careers, and even loved ones.

Now, that doesn’t mean those things are bad. God wants us to love others, have dreams, and do honest work. But we always have to put God first.

Some questions to ask yourself if you think you’re putting something before God are:

Am I spending more time thinking about this than God?
Would I deny my faith to get this thing?
Is this taking away my time with God?
Does this thing make me more reliant on myself than God?
Am I trusting this more than I’m trusting God?

Now, I totally get that you have to put food on the table, which means spending more time in the office than at church. But think about whether or not this activity or person is interfering with your relationship with God. Has God felt more distant since it came into your life?

It Hurts Others

One of Jesus’ most important commands was to love our neighbors as ourselves. Jesus clearly demonstrated that over and over again by sacrificing His time, status, and ultimately His life for others. It hurts God when we get hurt because He loves us so much. So I’m sure you can understand that when you do something to hurt others, God isn’t thrilled. In fact, it breaks His heart.

Now, as I shared in my post about boundaries, we aren’t supposed to be doormats for others. However, when given the opportunity, we should do whatever we can to show God’s love to people.

Here are a few things to stay away from when you are trying to not to hurt people:

Gossip

Let’s be honest, we’ve all done it, we may or may not have had to suffer the consequences of it. But gossip truly does destroy relationships and causes deep wounds within others. If you are conscious about what you’re saying, you’ll find yourself gossiping less and less.

2. Lying

Honesty shows others that you respect them, but also that you respect yourself. You are not ashamed for who you are and what you believe. Even if you have to say something that others don’t want to hear, in the long run, they will be glad that you didn’t keep anything from them.

3. Brashness

I’m disappointed by the negative connotation the adjective “sensitive” has taken. I believe that sensitivity is actually a strength. It means taking the time to think about what you will say, especially on a touchy subject, before speaking. Sensitivity can mend wounds instead of digging them in deeper.

You Have a Certain Feeling About It

When we spend time in the Bible, with wise mentors, and in prayer, we are able to sense the Holy Spirit and where it’s leading us. Paul actually shares in his letters of when the Holy Spirit told him not to go to certain places and where he should go next.

It’s actually incredible how part of the Holy Trinity is inside us. We shouldn’t take this gift for granted.

Much like a conscience, the Holy Spirit often gives us a sense of right and wrong. It’s not always good to rely solely on our feelings, but when we have an instinctive feeling about something or someone, it is often the Holy Spirit.

Once you get that feeling, go back to the Bible and what you know about God. Does it go against God’s character? Have others been pulled away from God by this activity or situation?

God gives us wisdom generously when we ask for it. So if you are ever confused, simply ask, and listen.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:23-24

Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save,
or his ear dull, that it cannot hear;
but your iniquities have made a separation
between you and your God.
Isaiah 59: 1-2

The Pain of Healing

Are you wanting to heal and move forward, but something is holding you back? Here is some encouragement.

I’ve learned a lot from working at a barn. One of the seemingly least profound things is that running for lengthy periods of time in boots creates long-lasting effects on one’s toes.

You may be wondering how I’m possibly going to tie that opening in with something biblical or even remotely helpful, but hear me out 🙂

I’ve had a hard callus growing on my toe for months now, and I’ve chosen to ignore it. But today, when I put my socks on, I noticed that it was sizably larger than the rest of my toes. It was also red, painful to walk on, and throbbing. Though I still didn’t want to deal with it, I knew I had to in order for the swelling to go down before work. I attached an ice-pack to my foot and proceeded to go on with life.

However, it just couldn’t be that easy.

Moments after, my foot was even redder and the ice stung my skin. I finally had to take it off in order to concentrate on my work. It was more painful treating the injury than the injury itself! However, it worked, and I’m finally able to function normally again.

I don’t know about you, but when I think of healing, I usually picture myself wrapped in a cozy blanket, close to God, away from the harshness of the world. I’m tenderly held within God’s strong hands, sheltered and protected, not having to deal with what hurt me.

While we are always taken care of by God, avoidance is not the way to find true healing. I’ve lived that lie over and over again, trying to push away the pain and just move forward. I’ve prayed to God to help me let go.

But here’s the thing: I couldn’t let go, I couldn’t heal, until I admitted that I couldn’t do it on my own. I couldn’t find peace until I realized that I had experienced something painful. Even if it wasn’t something that others might be concerned by, it still mattered to me.

So many “inspirational” speakers claim that we can’t look back, we have to chug forward, we have to keep moving. There’s definitely some truth to that. But we can’t just ditch the people and experiences that have shaped who we are without allowing ourselves to fully grieve their absence.

Healing involves pain.

I know that sounds counter-intuitive, but it’s true. Just like how the ice also caused my foot more pain, it was the only thing that could help me. Sometimes the pain of confronting old feelings hurts more than when we were originally betrayed. When we are beginning to heal, it may feel like we’re taking steps backward. We may wonder why we are still thinking about them or what happened. We may wonder why we didn’t get the neatly wrapped ending that movies promise us. We may question whether or not we trust God if we are still processing what happened.

God wants us to bring the hard questions to Him. He knows what it’s like to grieve, but also to bring healing. Sometimes healing happens quickly; other times, it will be years of waiting for the freedom that comes with letting go. It doesn’t matter how long it takes you, just trust that someday you will get there.

Over the past two and a half years or so, I’ve gone through some difficult tests of faith. Some included heartbreak, others included costly decisions and damaged relationships. Each individual instance sparked a different series of actions that caused healing. Each one has taken a different amount of time to process and move on from.

Over the past couple weeks, God has helped me have the confidence to fully let go of something that burdened my heart for a long time. I can’t even begin to describe to you how free I feel. I feel weightless, hopeful. The future is wide with possibilities. I finally feel excited about the plans God has for me.

Coming to this place, where I’m at right now, wasn’t easy. It required many sleepless nights of pouring my heart out to God. Many moments where a song touched my heart in just the right way to elicit a flow of tears. It even required more heartbreak before I could finally release this idea of what I wanted and embrace what God has for me.

The thing I keep repeating to myself is that I will never miss out on what’s meant for me. I believe that to be true for everyone, including you. When one door closes, God will surely open another one.

Today, allow yourself to fully process the past, but continue to have hope that God will restore your life. He loves you so much and He has an incredible purpose for you.

Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.
Psalm 30:2

‘But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the LORD.
Jeremiah 30:17

You restored me to health and let me live. Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish. In your love you kept me from the pit of destruction; you have put all my sins behind your back.
Isaiah 38:16-17

Amazing song about healing: https://youtu.be/tDiG3Nxm7CU

Why You Don’t Have What You Want

Are you upset right now because you don’t have something that you believe is meant for you? Here is some encouragement.

What is it that you want most in life? A different job? A significant other? A deeper relationship with Jesus?

If I were to ask you why you don’t have that thing, you’d likely come up with a plethora of reasons. Perhaps you don’t believe you’re qualified or attractive enough. Maybe you believe only a theology degree can get you an intimate relationship with Christ.

Though those answers may sound convincing, the truth is, there are two reasons why we don’t have what we want.

The first is pretty self-explanatory: It isn’t meant for us. Sometimes that person who seems perfect is actually the one who would’ve broken your heart had God allowed them to be in your life. Maybe that job isn’t the one that would help you witness to the most people. Whatever the reason may be, Jesus knows it’s better for us to have something or someone else.

The second reason gets a little more complicated: fear.

Did you know that you are at least 20% more attractive than you feel? That’s because we allow ourselves to believe the lie that we aren’t beautiful. In fact, it’s almost easier to believe that we are unattractive than admit that we are created in God’s image. It’s also easier to hide behind the idea that you aren’t good enough or attractive enough to talk to the person you like rather than admit your true feelings.

The same goes for other goals in life. We often say we aren’t qualified rather than go back to school and learn. We would rather say we don’t know than spend time in the Bible finding the answers.

This isn’t laziness– it’s fear.

We fear rejection. We fear conviction. We fear judgement.

I believe that there are two main things that separate people from God: fear and pride. When we cling onto our fears, we forget the truth, that God has a wonderful plan for us and that He can do anything. We believe that we are on our own, with no one there to save us. But actually God has an amazing plan for you and He can use you to do remarkable things.

The saddest thing about fear is that it keeps us from reaching out to others. Have you ever thought about how incredible it felt when someone expressed their appreciation to you or wanted to get to know you? Then how come it’s so hard to reciprocate that action to someone we don’t know very well? Because of fear. We don’t know their reaction.

God doesn’t promise to tell us the results before He calls us to do something. You might experience humiliation or defeat. But in the long run, it will be worth it, because you will have no regrets. You will know that you did what God wanted you to, and that feeling is enough to bring you peace.

Today, ask yourself if there are any practical steps you can take in getting what you want. If God has made it clear to you that this isn’t what’s right for your life, then step away and trust that something better is in store. But if God is calling you to take a leap of faith, then do it. Reach out, share your feelings, learn something new.

We can’t comprehend the incredible things God is doing through us. That’s why we just have to take it on faith and trust the results with Him.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
1 John 4:18

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34

Why Do I Write?

I’ll be sharing what inspires me to write, as well as how important it is to shine our light to the world!

Recently, I shared how important it is to ask ourselves “why” every now and then. Though intentions aren’t the same as actions, (no one will know if you brought a meal over to your friend because you felt sympathy towards them or you wanted to get rid of old food), intentions do make a world of difference. Asking “why” can help us during the decision making process as well.

Over the past year, I’ve been asking myself, “Why do I write?” I’ve been asked this question, or rather, “Why do I want to be an English major?”, many times. Often the ones asking me this question are disappointed I didn’t become a pastor or a teacher (what they all predicted I would be), or they have genuine curiosity.

When God calls us to do something, we shouldn’t feel the need to justify it to others. However, for our own personal reasons, we should explore why God calls us to certain endeavors.

So, since you all have come with me on my writing journey, I thought I’d share why I write!

Why do I write?

If you had asked me this question a few years ago, my honest answer would’ve been quite…vain. I never felt listened to growing up, and the only way I felt seen was through my writing. I wanted to be a famous author to prove everyone wrong. “Hannah Chung can do things! She isn’t this quiet kid in the back of the room without thoughts and feelings of her own!”

If you haven’t believed I’ve been completely honest until now, hopefully that confession brings confirmation that yes, I am telling all the embarrassing details of my life! 🙂

Two years ago, when I experienced a spiritual revival, my reason for writing changed. I used prayer journaling as a way of processing grief and dark feelings. That brought me closer to God and changed the my “writing voice”.

I’m an definitely in a much different place than I was two years ago. Writing restores my hope and nourishes my soul. When I put my pen to paper, the world fades around me, and it’s just me and God. I’ve witnessed people living under the radar of others and I want to give them a voice. For all the years I felt unseen, I want to spend now making others seen.

Last summer, I was under the false belief that people had to be pastors in order to minister to others. Perhaps that’s why I wanted to be a pastor, because I wanted to dedicate my life to God. Though my passion was (and is) writing.

But that’s not true. We can be a teacher and show children God’s love. We can be an accountant and show someone God’s grace. We can be a lawyer and show someone God’s mercy. And yes, we can be a writer and show someone God’s understanding. We might be the only Jesus a person sees and we can demonstrate His attributes in any profession.

All those reasons contribute to why I write, but the main reason is this: I am closest to Jesus when I am inspired.

I can’t really explain how it feels, but I’ll do my best. When I’m inspired, it’s like a fire is burning within my chest, words and ideas, and most of all, love, fills my soul. I have a new understanding of life. Things just make sense. It’s like fitting the last puzzle piece into the puzzle. Everything clicks. My fingers can fly across the keyboard fast enough. I feel physically lighter as I pour out the feelings and ideas Jesus gives me onto blank pages.

I find my inspiration most often when I’m experiencing difficulties. Several years ago, I had a dry season, lacking inspiration, and I almost considered giving up writing. But then it felt like the world was crashing all around me. Everything I had believed in was gone. All except Jesus’ love.

And that’s when I knew I had to reach others the way Jesus has reached me.

I may not be the most popular person, I likely won’t end up being famous. I don’t have a thousand or even a hundred readers. But I cherish each and every one of you. Even on the posts that don’t have any likes, I feel fulfilled because at least I have done my part to share what Jesus has taught me.

When we set a fire, it spreads. We must be a light in the world, not hidden under a lamp shade, but spreading to everyone, even those in the dark crevesses.

How will you shine your light today?

You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.
Matthew 5:14-16

Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, “I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life.”
John 8:12

Three Minutes

Do you ever doubt your purpose? This post is for anyone who’s ever struggled to understand why they’re here.

I’m sure we’ve all hit a point in our lives where we doubt our purpose. We go to God and ask, “Why am I here, God? I mean, why am I really here?”

As much as I talk about purpose, I’ve had my fair share of doubts about mine. When things don’t happen in the amount of time I expect, I get panicky. When “everyone else” seems to have it all together, I wonder if I’m too different to be useful.

Time is such a critical thing. Though we often spend hours on our phones scrolling through social media, we fear our lives ending before we’ve done anything noteworthy. There are so many people on Earth, how can we stand out? How can we be remembered? Or really, how can we avoid being forgotten?

Switching topics momentarily, has there ever been a song that’s changed your life? I don’t just mean a bop, but a song that truly changed the way you view life?

For me, it’s Rescue, by Lauren Daigle.

The first time I paid attention to the lyrics, I was at my lowest. I was doubting my worth, my purpose. I truly didn’t believe I belonged here.

Standing out in the rain, the darkening sky seemed to reflect my heart, my state of mind. I asked God if anyone truly saw me. Did anyone even care?

That’s when God’s voice, spoken through Lauren Daigle, whispered in my ears, “You are not hidden. There’s never been a moment you were forgotten”.

I’ve heard so many stories from K-Love of how a song inspired them or brought them closer to God. If you haven’t already found a song, perhaps a song will meet you in the future.

But just think–three minutes, that’s all it takes to change a life. Three minutes of repeated lyrics, a few background instruments, and a person hoping to change the world. Or maybe they don’t even have that desire. Perhaps it truly is just God doing His work through the unexpected.

I’m sure you’ve all heard of FOMO–the fear of missing out–and have experienced it at one time or another. I often suffer from it, though less than before. Yet God has shown me time and again how everything is in His perfect timing.

That same year of when Rescue touched my life, I experienced a major car accident. Leading up to the accident, I didn’t really value my life. I felt replaceable, a hopeless cause. Sure, my view of life was improving, but life took its ups and downs, particularly downs during that time.

But then it happened, when I least expected it. I didn’t see the car coming and I made the turn. Hit in the side, we spun around for several moments before I came-to. Had I been hit even seconds earlier, I might’ve died, or at least experienced worse side effects.

I experienced many mental side effects from the accident, which I’ve shared here before. But I only had two scars, one of which has gone away, and the other a permanent reminder of how God chose to save me.

I believe we are fulfilling our purposes up until our last breath. But God gets to decide when that last breath is taken. It’s taken years for me to come to terms with the truth that God really does have a purpose for me and for the pain that He allows us to go through. But just as a parent allows their kids to learn the hard way sometimes because they love them, God allows us to go through difficulties because He loves us too. In fact, those difficulties often end up reminding us of His love.

Life can change in a split second. That used to frighten me. But when we remember that God is the one in control of time, that time is no barrier for Him, we can have peace about whatever comes next.

Just think–God can work through a simple sentence on a post, a three minute song on the radio, a letter in the mail…He created the entire world in a week! So of course He can and will work through you.

Never give up. You are needed here. ❤

Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders which You have done,
And Your thoughts toward us;
There is none to compare with You.
If I would declare and speak of them,
They would be too numerous to count.
Psalm 40:5

Here is a song by Riley Clemmons which has encouraged me when life doesn’t go the way I expect. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Link: https://youtu.be/0GCgg1PMnqg

Caught Up in the Moment

If you are experiencing frustration with how your life is taking a different course than you imagined, then this article is for you.

It’s easy to look back and laugh at our old dreams. Sometimes “old” refers to childhood or even just a few weeks ago. But when we’re in the heat of the moment, it’s nearly impossible to understand how God’s plan can differ from our own.

You know how they say taking a day off can clear the mind? Well, now I believe that.

In many ways, 2020-2021 has been our time of getting “away from normal life”. I mean, come on, “normal” hasn’t been allowed for a year and is just getting reintroduced now!

From most of the people I’ve talked to, this past year has actually brought them closer to God because they have more time to spend with Him. I’d also bet it’s because we’re forced to trust Him now that our plans have been thrown up in the air.

At first, 2020-2021 was a time for much needed space. I distanced myself from certain people, I took new opportunities when they came up, and I grew closer to God.

But then the “unusual year” started feeling like a new normal. Over the last few months, I’ve been caught up in my new desires…and fears. I’ve created a new plan, adapted by my new life, and I’ve begun to prioritize those things over the truths God has shown me throughout my life.

Over the weekend, I took my first day off from work to spend time with relatives who were visiting. While I wouldn’t say the weekend was restful, it gave me perspective.

Even when distanced from my situation for a few days, the things that I clung so tightly to no longer seemed significant. Sure, they still mattered, but they no longer needed to be thought about during every spare moment.

Of course, there’s never a season of life, even when that season consists of a few days, where you have no desires. Sure enough, my imagination ran wild with new possibilities and desires for my future. But this time, as I experience both excitement and disappointment, I’m remembering this truth that God continues to bring to mind:

Our feelings are fleeting. They matter, they exist, they are normal. But they should not control our lives. That’s why God is in control. He has a perfect plan, and if things don’t happen the way I want them to, I have to remember that while my priorities will change, His never will.

Think about that one thing that you wish you could change. That person’s response, that missed opportunity, that mistake.

I know it’s hard…painful even. But what if that had to happen so that you’ll experience something greater?

God knows more than what we do. He knows what people say about us when we aren’t around. He knows how that person would’ve treated us had He kept them in our lives. He knows what are gifts are and how we can use them most effectively. God knows.

It’s easy to forget who God is. God created us, for goodness sake! He understands us far more deeply than any person can. He remembers us and puts our needs in top priority. Most people can’t even remember to ask how we’re doing, but God goes to great lengths–the greatest lengths!–to get in touch with us.

God loves you so much. I know you’ve heard it before, but let the words sink in this time. Love means putting the other person first. God does not benefit from your suffering. He does not cause your suffering. He just allows what needs to happen take place in order to help us grow. Our life down here is so short. Then we will spend eternity with Him forever!

So today, instead of being caught up in the moment, take some space away from the things burdening your heart. Ask God for perspective on your situation and clarity for what He wants you to do with your life.

Always remember: You have the ability to make a difference in people’s lives.

For the Lord searches all hearts, and understands every intent of the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will let you find Him; but if you forsake Him, He will reject you forever.
1 Chronicles 28:9

Lord, all my desire is before You;
And my sighing is not hidden from You.
Psalm 38:9

Every man’s way is right in his own eyes,
But the Lord weighs the hearts.
Proverbs 21:2

Life Hack #3: Honestly…

Sharing one of the best pieces of relationship/friendship advice I’ve ever received.

Growing up, how many times did you hear, “Honesty is the best policy”? Perhaps it was during the plagiarism speech at the beginning of every school year. Or maybe it was in a conversation with your parents after losing a friend over a “little white lie”. But have you applied it to your life as an adult?

Random thought: I almost wonder if I should change this series’ name to “Debunking cliché advice”. Hmm…

Anyway, I’ve given this idea of honesty a lot of thought. I’ve been trying to figure out why it’s hard. I’ve come up with three ideas:

We assume honesty means brashness

When someone tells you, “Just be honest with them”, you might picture yourself walking up to a person and crushing their dreams. Or maybe you think honesty means never using tact when talking about a controversial issue.

Well…how should I put this? No! That’s how our society has gotten honesty wrong, especially in light of all the recent tension and civil unrest.

It’s important to be true to your beliefs, especially when standing up for others or for your faith. But it’s also important to realize that people don’t come to their ideas overnight. It has taken years of experiences, pain, and advice from a variety of sources to get them where they are today. So when sharing your views, realize that part of honest means honestly listening to the other side and appreciating them as human beings, even if you don’t agree with them. And you certainly don’t have to agree with them.

Here’s the thing: People will want to listen to you more if you speak the truth in love. People will feel less attacked and more appreciative of where you’re coming from.

2. Honesty takes humility

Ah, humility. This idea revisits us once again, as it seems to do in my own life on a regular basis. We try to run, but we can’t hide from it. Being humble is one of the core attributes of a follower of Christ.

How does honesty take humility, though?

Well, being honest can mean “taking one for the team”. It might mean being the first person to admit you’re nervous about something. Or it could look like sharing your faith even when it isn’t the popular thing to do. Honesty means we’ll have to admit that we aren’t always right, that maybe the thing we were fighting for isn’t the best after all.

And that’s hard. That’s really hard. But if we aren’t honest about those things, we’ll miss out on growing as individuals and in relationships.

3. Honesty means sacrifice

In the movies, when someone makes a startling revelation and reveals the truth, they are often greeting with celebration or victory. But in real life, people may not respond to our honesty in the way we’d like them to. Perhaps it’s a confession of our true feelings, and the other person doesn’t feel the same way. Maybe it’s sharing a controversial viewpoint that sends an old friend away. Whatever it is, if it matters to you, it needs to be shared. Unfortunately, that does often mean losing people. But the true friends, the ones who really care, will be there with you when you show your true self.

Why is honesty so important, anyway?

If being honest takes so much work, why is it so important in life?

Think about it, how has another person’s honesty changed your life? Maybe it was a current significant other making the first move towards building a relationship with you. Perhaps it was a parent admitting their faults and healing some childhood wounds.

Here are a few ways honesty has impacted my life, and as I share, continue to think about your stories too.

Honesty has made me feel more comfortable

A few nights ago, I went to my first social gathering after COVID. I was pretty nervous about seeing a ton of people I hadn’t seen in over a year. Perhaps you’ve also experienced this.

When I first got into the venue, a girl I hadn’t talked to in over two years came up and started chatting with me. I greatly appreciated her efforts, and even more so after what she said next.

“You know,” she said. “I might have seemed forward for coming over here like this, but I really don’t know anyone anymore and I wanted someone to talk to.”

In that moment, that’s what I needed to hear. I wasn’t alone in my nervousness. A gesture she might’ve found awkward or uncomfortable was actually what made me feel comfortable. Her honesty inspired me to reach out to others and be willing to be true to myself.

Honesty significantly impacts the success of romantic relationships

I have a friend who desperately wanted to be in a romantic relationship with someone and she asked for my advice. Though I’ve observed others’ relationships, I didn’t have much personal experience to go off of, so I spoke with a friend who doesn’t know her, so he’d have an unbiased point of view.

I shared with him how my friend has lied about who she likes to her crush and how their relationship has been based off guessing the other person’s feelings and lack of communication.

He replied, “From my experience, particularly my last relationship that didn’t work out, I’d say honesty is the most important thing in relationships. It might already be too late for them.”

And true to his word, once my friend was honest with her crush, she didn’t necessarily receive the response she had been hoping for, but she finally knew the truth. The truth can be hard to swallow, but important for moving forward.

This was also a good reminder to me to start relationships off with honesty rather than trickling it in as time goes on.

Honesty can heal old wounds

As I shared earlier in why some people avoid being honest, there’s this false idea that honesty only hurts people. But the truth is, honesty can be the medicine to a relationship.

I’m currently in a season of transition. Many of my friends are also moving on or moving away, or both. They seem to tie together often.

Anyway, while in a conversation with an old friend who had hurt me in the past, I gingerly brought up how our friendship had ended. I didn’t do in an accusatory way, but in a way that revealed how I had truly felt about the situation. It helped that it happened years ago, so I had time to process and no longer be mad about it.

This brought so much healing and closure to me, and I’m sure to her as well. We were finally able to realize how far we’d come and how we’ve changed as individuals. Honesty takes maturity, I’ll give you that much. That’s why it’s hard. But it’s the only way to find true closure when letting go of the past.

Does God want us to be honest?

Well, I think you can answer that one yourself. But yes, of course He does.

Jesus never sugarcoated things. He was direct, yet also the definition of love. As followers of Jesus, we should strive to do the same thing.

There’s a Proverb that goes, “Wounds from a friend are better than kisses from an enemy”. Are you upset by a person’s honesty right now? Are you doubting yourself for being honest with a loved one?

In the long run, being honest is the only way you’ll truly get places. Today, think about whether your relationships are based on honesty. I guarantee that the ones that are will last far longer than the ones that are not.

Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.
Proverbs 10:9

And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
John 8:32

There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching.
Proverbs 6:16-20