Joy – Page 29 – The Will to Wake Up

A Ripple Effect

How are the people in your life influencing you?

When you were growing up, did you ever have that one friend that your parents were worried you’d end up like? Maybe they didn’t follow the rules or they were disrespectful. Your parents didn’t want you to spend too much time with that friend because they didn’t want you to become like them. Whether or not you learned this the hard way, as an adult, you likely know it to be true that the people closest to you are the ones who have the greatest influence over you.

What I bet you didn’t know is that the Bible affirms the decision to be wise and cautious about who you let into your close circle. I’ve been reading through Proverbs recently, and I’ve come across a few key reminders about who to be friends with.

Don’t get too close to too many people

A man of too many friends comes to ruin,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24

This doesn’t mean we should turn away a person who needs a friend necessarily, but it’s a good reminder that physically as humans we don’t have the energy or resources to be a good friend to a lot of people. We can be there for them, pray for them, and show God’s love to them, but we can’t be everybody’s ride-or-die companion. When we allow too many people into our close circles, the filter we place over our friends’ advice and opinions grows weaker. But if we pour a lot into a few deep relationships, we’ll feel encouraged and strengthened in our faith.

2. Seek friends who are honest and loyal

Better is open rebuke
Than love that is concealed.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.
Proverbs 27:5-6

Two of the most important qualities in a friend are honesty and loyalty. You know you are close to someone when you can openly share what you think would help them grow as a person and as a friend. And when your friend needs to confront you about something, you don’t feel hurt or betrayed, but rather cared for by their consideration to help you improve too. If all your friends simply flatter you or only remain on the surface level, then perhaps they really aren’t such close friends.

Though honesty may hurt sometimes, you know that a relationship is strong when you can be truly vulnerable and open about everything.

3. A good friend is there through the dark times

A friend loves at all times,
And a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 17:17

You may have heard this verse before because it’s so good and widely shared. Expanding on the idea of loyalty, the people in your close circle need to be there for you when you are going through difficult times. But you also have to be willing– actually, wanting– to be there for them even when they aren’t at their best either. That’s why we can’t have too many people in our close circle, because we can’t always be there for everyone all the time. But when you walk through the fire with someone, your relationship will grow stronger.

4. Seek friends who give wise counsel

He who walks with wise men will be wise,
But the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 13:20

Your friends should be the ones you can turn to when you need help solving a problem. Now, no one is perfect or gives the best advice every time, but it’s important to be around people who share your morals and who give thought to their answers to your questions. These people who are in the Word, who pray and seek God’s counsel, will be the ones who will help you make the best decisions and will help you grow in maturity and wisdom as well.

5. Last but not least, choose friends who exhibit qualities you want to have

Do not associate with a man given to anger;
Or go with a hot-tempered man,
Or you will learn his ways
And find a snare for yourself.
Proverbs 22:24-25

Iron sharpens iron,
So one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17

Coming full circle here, when you are around people who are critical, angry, and judgemental, you will become like them. Whether it’s your annoyance over their bad habits or how their qualities seem less upsetting the longer you spend with them, the truth is, one of the most important things you can do in life is surrounding yourself with people who mirror God-like qualities. You don’t want to be living in fear of your friends or becoming like them. Rather, you should be in relationships that sharpen you and your faith.

Now, you might be thinking that you should still allow difficult people into your inner circle to help them. But here’s the thing, if you become like them, then you will start harming others. There’s a ripple effect; if you grow close to an angry person and become angry yourself, then the people around you will start being like that too. Of course, you should still be kind and welcoming to difficult people, but you shouldn’t allow them to be big influencers in your life.

Based on what I’ve been saying, you might be frustrated by humans’ ability to become like the people they’re around. But this trait is actually a good thing when it comes to the most important relationship we have: our relationship with Jesus.

You see, the more time you spend with the most amazing friend you have (Jesus), you will become more like Him. And that’s our ultimate goal as believers, right? The more time you spend with Jesus, the more you’ll see that ripple effect of love and compassion pour into the lives of the people around you.

So today, think about who you consider to be your closest friends. Do you share any qualities with them? Do they positively influence you?

And most importantly, spend time with Jesus and thank Him for being our best friend.

Do not be deceived: Bad company corrupts good morals.
1 Corinthians 15:33

The righteous is a guide to his neighbor,
But the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Proverbs 12:26

The Beauty of Silence

How often do you find yourself so consumed by what you want to say, you have trouble listening to others? Here’s some advice!

We often underestimate how powerful our words can be.

I know a lot of people use that line to lead up to a “taming of the tongue” speech, but it’s so true. I’ve been reading through Proverbs (which by the way, if you want an overload of wisdom, go check it out) and there is so much advice about using our words wisely.

Our culture emphasizes saying as much as we can whenever we can. But that leads us to be too busy thinking about what we want to say that we don’t listen to anyone else. Being “quiet” is often undervalued. The quiet people are left on their own to observe life and may even be teased, when in reality, King Solomon in the Bible suggests that the people who use their words sparingly and wisely are the ones we should learn from.

The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.
Proverbs 17:27-28

In a society where anyone can say anything, often via social media, we are encouraged to talk over each other and not really listen to what anyone else is saying. That’s why I’m so glad there’s been a recent push to listen to those who have been previously silenced. An old saying goes, it’s better to be a good listener than a good talker.

I’m sure, whether you enjoy talking or listening more, you have noticed how the outgoing, chatty people attract more friends. Hopefully you have a mix of multiple personalities within your friend group. Would you want to tell your deepest secret or confide your toughest feelings in the popular, talkative friend or in the friend who is a good listener?

Now, I’m not saying that popular, outgoing people can’t be good listeners. Sometimes the quiet people aren’t good listeners either, and are more in their own world. But what I mean is that we can all benefit from taking Solomon’s words to heart and treat each word like a valuable gift. If we use our words sparingly and with wisdom, then we will be less likely to gossip (which destroys friendships), say something in the heat of anger, or say something that offends someone.

If I still haven’t proved to you that being a good listener makes you a better person to be in relationship with, think about it this way. We all have that friend, you know the one, who talks for 90% of the conversation and asks you maybe one or two questions about your life. And while you’re answering, they cut in with their own example. You feel like you have to talk as fast as you can just to get a word in edgewise.

Sometimes I wonder if God feels like we do in that situation when we pray. We spend a chunk of our day simply talking to Him, which He loves, of course. But when do we give Him the chance to guide us? I guarantee what He has to say is more important than what we have to say.

But the best benefit of appreciating silence and learning how to listen is that it will help us be able to discern the voice of God. Our conversations with God are the most important we will ever have. And I use the word “conversation” because that’s what it needs to be– two-way!

I’ve shared here about my experiences with hearing from God, and I’ve noticed that when I am set on my own plans and busier, I have trouble knowing what God is telling me.

That’s why my challenge for you–and me!– this week is to take some intentional quiet time with God. No distractions, just you and God. And I bet that will open the door of communication between the two of you.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
James 1:19

If you would like to hear me read my blog posts and for additional encouragement, check out my new podcast!

Podcast: https://anchor.fm/hannah-chung4

Truly Alive

Do you feel fully alive, or are you waiting for something to happen before you can live life to the fullest?

“The past is gone, you don’t know how many tomorrows you have left, so make the most of the present. Don’t die while you’re still breathing.”

I saw that quote yesterday, and it stopped me in my tracks. A lot of us think that waiting means we can’t do anything. But if you think about it, we’re always in a season of waiting.

Here’s a classic example, though I know everybody’s story is different.

An elementary schooler is waiting to someday graduate from school. Once they graduate, they are waiting on figuring out which college they are going to. Once they graduate from college, they are waiting on getting their first job. Once they get their first job, they are waiting for the day when they can retire.

There’s never going to be a time when you’re not waiting for that next stage of life to happen. It’s just inevitable.

But that doesn’t mean that you get to skip through all the in between stuff. All of it, whether it’s getting through secondary school, working towards a degree, starting a family, or changing career paths, is meaningful. The enjoyment, the lessons, and the significance of those stages of life shouldn’t be discounted simply because they occur before you reach a place in your life where you want to be.

It can be really easy to let life pass before our eyes, especially during a global pandemic when everything else has been put on pause. But our lives are never paused, even when we are experiencing unforeseen difficulties. As the old proverb goes, time stops for no one.

The truth is, we will get from life what we make from it. Now, I know you may want to argue and say that we can’t decide what happens to us. And you’re right, we have no control over that.

But we can decide how experiences affect us. We get to decide whether we will learn the lesson God’s trying to teach us or if something is going to ruin the rest of our lives.

Think about all those fairytales from your childhood. Both the villain and the protagonist experienced hardships, usually in the form of the loss of an ability or an important person in their lives. Yet the reason why the protagonist had a happy ending and a joyful demeanor was because they were willing to persevere and believe there was still good in the world. The villain could’ve had all those blessings too, if they were willing to never let go of the hope that things truly can get better.

No matter how tempting it may feel to just sit around and tell yourself that you have to wait before you will be joyful, remember that we don’t have to wait to worship. We don’t have to wait to experience joy. We don’t have to wait before we can see God’s work at hand.

Instead, we need to be present in the here and now. We need to cherish what we do have while we still have it.

Live today. Say what you have to say, do something you’ve been putting off, laugh because why not? There are so many possibilities for today, for everyday.

Every day can be special and meaningful if you let it.

Open your heart to the possibility of truly living, right here, no matter where you are, and let God take care of the rest.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Psalm 16:11

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.
Philippians 4:4

I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
Jeremiah 29:11

Made in God’s Image

What keeps you from believing that you are fearfully and wonderfully made?

You are made in God’s image.

If you grew up in the church, you probably heard that phrase a lot. Following that, you’d hear at least verse 14 from Psalm 119, if not the entire chapter.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

Maybe that verse sends shivers down your spine as you take in the realization that you were made by God, the most powerful being in all existence.

Or maybe, like me, the phrase “made in God’s image” has grown dull over the years. It has lost its significance to you.

But if you think about it, how can this powerful truth ever lose meaning? Here are a few reasons I can think of:

Distractions

My mom used to read Psalm 119 on my birthday every year as a reminder of who I truly am. But I would always squirm at the part about our innermost parts being knit and all those “gory” details that stood out in my young mind.

Sometimes words and culture’s definition of what it means to be human distracts us from the wonder and complexity of being made in God’s image. These days, there’s all this emphasis on how humans have destroyed everything and we should be ashamed of our existence.

Before I contradict those words, I will say that we should do more to protect our environment, but we should not be held responsible for the mistakes of our ancestors. Living in constant guilt doesn’t solve any problems and harms our self-worth.

Anyway, as beings made in God’s image, we should not live in fear. God sees us as His perfect creation living in a fallen world, which is why we do not always live up to who we truly are. But God’s grace allows us to still be in relationship with our Creator once we repent from our sins.

If we let the criticisms others make about us define us, then we are losing sight of who God says we are. God is perfect, thus being made in His image means we were created with a perfect purpose. Nothing can change that.

2. Repetition Leading to Boredom

As I mentioned earlier, that one verse is the only one people seem to focus on when providing evidence of how we are made in God’s image. While that’s a great Psalm, there are many other places where the Bible proves our worth.

For example, right away in Genesis we see that God created us with a plan and purpose. He calls us “very good” after telling us to take care of everything else He has made. We are different from all other creation because we have a job to do. God entrusts us with the world and wants us to follow His plans for us.

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
Genesis 1:26

There are many other verses throughout the Bible, some in Paul’s letters of encouragement and instruction, which reminds us of who we belong to. Even in the verses where it isn’t spelled out for us, the fact that Jesus sacrificed His own life for us shows how loved, valued, and special we are to God.

3. Denial

The third and final reason we don’t always fully accept that we are made in God’s image is because we can’t bring ourselves to comprehend the true meaning behind those words.

We are made in God’s image.

Write that on a sticky note and put it on your mirror. Remind yourself of that fact daily, and support it with Bible verses.

No matter what the world tells you, you have a purpose. You are valuable. And the more you read God’s love letter to you–the Bible– the more you’ll begin to believe His truths about you.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Ephesians 2:10

Hope for the Lows in Life

Are you going through a hard time right now? Hopefully my story can encourage you.

To be honest, I’ve been really discouraged lately.

I know, shocking, coming from a person who runs an encouragement blog. But here’s the thing, so often we like to share our stories of how we struggled in the past and got through it, by God’s grace. But we never like to admit that we’re currently going through a rough time.

And let’s be real, ever since last March, we’ve all been through a series of difficulties. Especially for those of us who hate change. Or are learning to embrace it. (Emphasis on learning!)

There are a lot of Christian writers and singers I look up to. And they are amazing, God-filled people. I have benefitted from their words so much. But sometimes, it’s hard because I see them and I wonder why I’m still stuck on a rollercoaster in my faith journey while they seem to have figured it all out. (I’m sure they don’t have it all figured out, but sometimes it feels like they do!)

I’m definitely not as well-known or experienced as the people I admire, but I want to still be open with you about the things I go through. I want you to remember that you are not alone in your struggles. I’m still figuring things out too. One of the major things that’s been burdening me is actually my writing.

I’ve always wanted to be a writer. When I was a kid, I filled up little books with all my stories and decorated them with stickers. As I’ve gotten older, writing has become cathartic for me. When I write, all my problems seem to have meaning, like they happened so that I can share my story. It’s the fuel to my (story’s) fire. When I write, I finally feel like I have a purpose.

So you can imagine the heartbreak of reading one negative review after another by my writing professor. I know I can be too thin-skinned, but it still hurts. Based on her comments, I’d be a better editor than an actual writer.

I suppose you could say I feel stuck. I feel like the things that used to define me are disintegrating around me. And maybe that’s to remind me to allow God to define me instead of activities or talents. I’m in a time of my life where change is on the horizon and I know I must let go of certain things in this season. Some relationships, some dreams.

But the thing is, I know that God gave me a passion for writing. As I debated being an English major, a Theology major, or a Psychology major, I searched my Bible for answers. And I know I heard God’s voice tell me to pursue English.

But some days, it just seems easier to give up.

I keep reminding myself of a visual I saw during a Bible study, where the author said that our journey with God isn’t going to be one straight vertical line, or even a staircase. It’s going to be full of ups and downs and that’s perfectly normal.

But during these times that feel neverending, full of discouragement, extremely low…it’s hard to remember that there’s another turnaround up ahead that’s going to be better.

One time, when I was feeling similarly, I kept seeing verses or hearing messages from people with the three word phrase “Don’t give up”. I even saw a book at the store titled that and I immediately bought it, knowing it was a sign from God. God places verses, people, and sometimes even social media posts in our path so that we can keep moving forward when the enemy tries holding us back. He doesn’t want us to fulfill our purposes, and that’s why he does everything he can to make us feel discouraged.

That’s why my main goal in life is to encourage people through the words God gives me. We have to stand together to fight against the enemy. We can’t do this alone.

I’m sure you have many things to do today, so I won’t keep you much longer. I’ll just leave you with one final story.

At that same Bible study, where I previously mentioned the imagery of our journey with God, I was struggling as the leader. I had the “great idea” of bringing together four people who had nothing in common to try to grow together in God’s word. At first, I felt like I was failing. The enemy whispered in my ear, “Just give up. Everyone knows you tried, but you just couldn’t do it.”

But I kept going, in part thanks to the people in my group who encouraged me by continuing to show up, and thanks to mentors speaking God’s truth to me.

And you know what? Over a year later, with many necessary changes, my Bible study has flourished into a close-knit group where we’ve been able to share vulnerably, learn from each other, and grow closer to God. Starting that Bible study was one of the toughest tests of my perseverance so far. No one would’ve blamed me if I had given up. (Well, except for me!) But I didn’t. I didn’t give up.

And I won’t give up now.

I know I’m not the only one feeling discouraged today. You might be too, or a loved one is. But you know what? We are only letting the enemy win every time we believe one of his lies about us. When we are walking in line with God’s will, nothing can stop us. Don’t lose hope. Don’t give up. ❤

But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.
2 Chronicles 15:7

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
Genesis 50:20

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
Hebrews 11:6

For no word from God will ever fail.
Luke 1:37

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28

The Trap that Comes with Doing Good

What activities have you committed to that now drain you?

I don’t know about you, but I have an overcommitment problem. I hear about something that sounds really good or needs my help, and I agree to participate. But then, over time, I struggle to feel motivated in that activity and my energy gets drained. I’ve often contemplated the reason this cycle keeps happening in my life, and a few possibilities come to mind. One, which I shared last week, would be trying to please people, having a difficult time saying no. Another would be not wanting to miss out.

But the one I’m going to be diving into today is my desire to be good, to please God, to redeem myself, through works. And besides the fact that this makes us think we no longer need salvation, it also causes us to distance ourselves from God.

Now, when you agree to lead a small group at church or take on another job to help someone, you probably don’t go into it thinking that you are doing it in order to “be good” or to “save yourself”. You probably do it thinking, “Oh, this sounds like a good cause, and God likes it when we help others, so I’ll do this.” Or maybe you do it for your own benefit or because you care about people.

But the truth is, when we go into things with the mindset that we’re in control of our lives and that God wants us to take care of ourselves (rather than relying on Him), we end up living for the wrong things and feel spiritually drained.

In my family, self-sufficiency is a high priority. Growing up, I was complimented as being independent by teachers and school counselors. I loved (and still fall into the trap of loving) the feeling of being in control and not needing to rely on anyone.

While we shouldn’t relying on people to make us satisfied or happy, we need to be in desperate want of Jesus. Our relationship with Jesus is one where we are needy, empty without Him. He’s the only one who should define us and who can fulfill us.

When we take opportunities that make us feel like we’re earning our keep, so to speak, we lose sight on the amazing gift of grace God gives us. And eventually, we end up feeling worthless and exhausted when those opportunities cease filling our tank.

But of course, not all opportunities are bad. God purposely puts certain opportunities in our paths so that we can grow closer to Him and help others. You might be asking, “How can I know if an opportunity is one I should take?”

For us who are already in many commitments, think about which ones might be hard work, but still feel fulfilling. You can still see God working through you in them. Then think about the ones that truly drain you. Those are the ones that you may need to let go of. When we are doing things for God, we will always have motivation.

Here are a few key questions to ask yourself about the commitments you already have or before saying yes to another opportunity:

Why am I doing/considering doing this? Is it to make myself feel like a better person or is it because I know God wants me to do it?
Will I still have time for rest when adding this to my schedule?
Will I sacrifice time with God by doing this?
How am I allowing this opportunity to shape how I see myself?
And then ultimately pray, read the Bible, and listen to God for direction before making a decision.

I hope these tips help you as you continue your journey with God! The most important thing to remember is that we will never be perfect until we go to Heaven, so we shouldn’t be striving for perfection now or holding ourselves to extreme expectations. Instead, we must allow God’s grace and peace to fill our hearts each day.

Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God.
2 Corinthians 3:5

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

Side note: In relation to these themes, I’d highly recommend listening to the song Beautiful Things, by Worship Together. God is making beautiful things through you!

The True Meaning of Innocence

Do you feel burdened by mistakes you’ve made in the past? Here is some encouragement.

I’ve noticed throughout my lifetime that innocence has been given a negative connotation. Often people associate innocence with naivety, unintelligence, and a lack of maturity. Who would want to be considered innocent with that definition?

And to make things even more confusing, the Bible actually encourages us to be innocent. But the Bible also promotes wisdom, so isn’t there a contradiction here?

No, because the true definition of biblical innocence is not the same as our culture’s.

To me, part of the definition of innocent is that it’s the opposite of being guilty. That sounds overly simplified, but let me explain.

Imagine yourself in a courtroom. You’d rather be innocent than guilty, right? When we’re guilty, we are burdened, ashamed, and ridiculed. We are condemned. We are punished.

Hopefully you’ve never been prosecuted and brought to trial, but there are still many other examples of how guilt can ruin our lives.

Perhaps you made a mistake with your words that offended someone, and you feel terrible about it. Maybe you did something bigger, like causing a major inconvenience for someone, or hurting a relationship. Or maybe you feel guilty for not doing something God told you to do.

Close your eyes for a moment and clench your fists, as though you are holding onto that guilt. How does that make you feel? What do you feel guilty of? How long ago did this take place?

Now open your eyes, keeping your hands the way they are, and read this sentence aloud:

Jesus paid the price for my mistakes, and now I am free.

Repeat that sentence until you feel like you can open up your hands and release those burdens that have been weighing so heavily on your heart.

I have made many mistakes in my life that have affected the way I’ve seen myself, others, and even God. But God doesn’t want us to live in fear of making mistakes or burdened by our past sins. Instead, God wants us to be free to live abundant, fruitful lives through Him. When we finally let go of that guilt, we are innocent. We are no longer bothered by what has happened in the past and we fully accept ourselves as who God says we are.

To me, being innocent is allowing ourselves to live joyful lives and to see ourselves as the beloved children of God. We can understand the world and be wise while being free from our regrets.

He delivers even the one who is not innocent, who will be delivered through the cleanness of your hands.
Job 22:30

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2:20

Who Defines You?

Do you often feel used or deemed worthless by others? Do you feel burned out by trying to live up to others’ expectations?

I don’t know about you, but I can often exhibit people-pleasing tendencies. If you aren’t sure if you are a people-pleaser, consider this list of statements and see if any resonate with you:

I feel worn out because of other people’s demands, yet I can’t say no
I often feel used by others
I get my fulfillment through making others happy
I often just go with what others want, even when I have a different opinion
I hide my own feelings if they differ from others
I get hurt by criticism really easily, even if it’s constructive
I try to figure out what other people think of me, because that affects my self-esteem
I allow others to decide how worthy I am

If a few of those (or all) really clicked with you, then you have probably had issues setting boundaries and you’ve been really hurt by others for either not appreciating you or for things they have said that you’ve let get to you.

Here’s the thing, yes part of it might be on them for not being diplomatic or for not realizing how you feel. But you need to be honest with yourself and realize that if you’re allowing others to determine how much you are worth, then you are going to be in an endless cycle of feeling less-than. You will never measure up to everyone’s standards of excellence.

I’m in a writing class (there’s a pro-tip coming ahead if you’re also a writer) and we comment on other people’s short stories. As a people pleaser, I often get upset when people don’t like what I’ve written, or even when they’ve found a tiny flaw that doesn’t satisfy them. I’ve allowed their ideas, these random-people-who-I’ve-never-met’s ideas, affect how I view myself as a writer. I am so easily discouraged that I dread reading their comments, even when many of them have both positive and critical things to say.

But here’s the thing: they don’t know me. They don’t know my story. They have their own struggles that they are dealing with. And they have different perspectives. So I should listen to what they are saying, but take it with a grain of salt.

As I read the most recent comments, I noticed a similarity between them and ones from previous work. None of them agree with each other. One person likes the opening monologue while another thinks it’s boring. One person feels like a character is their best friend while another can’t relate to them.

My bottom line is this: Whether you are a writer or not, you can’t please everyone. There’s just no physical way.

And the truth is, no person can fully understand you or your whole story. Only God knows you deeply and loves you.

Imagine you see this gorgeous painting that you want to further understand. You wouldn’t let some fifth-grader who just got dragged into an art museum explain the artist’s intent behind their work, would you? Not if you wanted the truthful, deep, thought-provoking answer dripping with love and affection for their masterpiece.

That’s why you shouldn’t let the people you meet online, your coworkers, or even people close to you define you. No one can express how much you are truly worth like your Creator can. He’s the only one who knows your full purpose, how intricately designed you are, and how long it took Him to breathe you into being.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Never let yourself believe otherwise.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
Psalm 139:14

Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do it, for how should my name be profaned? My glory I will not give to another.
Isaiah 48:10-11

Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.
Genesis 2:7

Inner Beauty is Most Valuable

Do you struggle with feeling good about your appearance? Here’s some encouragement.

I’ve seen a lot of posts recently about people sharing vulnerably their stories that deal with lack of self-esteem related to their bodies. I think many of us, some more severely than others, have struggled to see ourselves as worthy, especially in relation to our appearance. With all our culture’s standards, it can be difficult to remember how valuable we are. There are so many verses about not focusing on the outward appearance, such as (and not limited to):

The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. A man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7

Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror.
James 1:23

Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.
Matthew 7:20

These verses can serve as both a comfort and a warning. You might ask, “But Hannah, I don’t particularly like my appearance. I’m not going into the modeling business or some career that mostly focuses on outward beauty. I’m not like that person over there who clearly works hard at their appearance.”

First of all, we have no idea how much a person cares about what they look like. They might be just as insecure as one of us and we shouldn’t judge based on how beautiful we perceive them to be.

And second, we can be just as guilty of focusing too much on our outward appearance when we criticize ourselves as someone who thinks they are overly gorgeous and makes sure everyone knows it. (And that person, by the way, is probably doing that to seek validation, so they probably aren’t even as secure as you may think)

It’s so important to take care of ourselves and to love who we are because God made us that way. But it’s also important to just not focus too much on what we look like. When we place working or stressing over our appearance above who we are as a person and what we’re doing for God’s kingdom, then we miss out on what God has planned for us. We lose sight of what’s truly important in our lives.

And in the end, our bodies will fade away. All that’s left will be our souls. So why don’t we take the time to work on what will last forever instead of the temporary, especially if our bodies cause us grief?

Instead of asking yourself, what food should I eat to make my body attractive or why don’t I look as beautiful as that person over there, ask yourself these questions:

Am I living in a way that honors God?
Do the people around me feel loved?
Am I doing things that I feel passionate about?
Am I taking time to rest?
What am I doing to serve others?

That’s not to say don’t take care of yourself. It just means that once you start focusing on living out God’s will, then your body will not be the center of your life anymore. People will start noticing you for your amazing character traits instead of your looks.

But these verses are also meant to be a comfort. God sees us in a way no one else can. We (and others) see ourselves through a broken mirror, broken by sin, broken by society’s expectations, broken by lies. We are broken until we allow God to heal us, to make us who we are meant to be.

You are loved and worthy and beautiful no matter what you look like. Never forget that.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13

“How Are You Doing?”

When was the last time you asked someone, “How are you doing?”

I’m going to admit, one of my guilty pleasures is rom-coms. I don’t know why since I wouldn’t consider myself the “most romantic person in the world”. But if there’s a really good rom-com out there, I will likely watch it and enjoy it.

The most recent one I’ve watched is the third movie about Lara Jean in the To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before series. She and her boyfriend, Peter, have gone through many ups and downs since they initially got together at the end of the first movie. They’ve matured and have grown significantly closer. In fact, they even plan on going to college together and staying together forever. (Might be sad if they weren’t planning on the latter, now that I think about it).

Anyway, the “big event” of this movie is (spoiler alert!) Lara Jean not getting into the college that they were planning to attend together. The issue is, because they were both planning on going for so long, Lara Jean doesn’t have the heart to tell Peter. So he buys her a Stanford tree hat, decorates his car, and takes her out on a special date to celebrate her acceptance (since he is unaware of her rejection). So you’d think that by the time she does tell him, he’d be pretty upset, right? Probably annoyed, angry, maybe even ready to break up?

But his answer stunned me. And moved me greatly. I don’t often cry during movies, and I thought I would at the end of this one since it’s the last in the series, but the moment I almost cried was at Peter’s response to Lara Jean’s heart-wrenching confession that she didn’t make it into Stanford.

He looks at her with such care and concern as she starts rambling on and on about how she can fix the situation. He stops her and says in a soft, empathetic voice, “How are you doing?”

I’m sure he knows at this moment that his dreams are crushed as much as hers. He had his hopes set on her going to Stanford too. But he doesn’t let that affect the way he reacts. Instead, he puts his care and love for her over his disappointment.

Wow. Okay, let’s regroup for a minute here. (Also go watch the movie after if I haven’t spoiled too much of it for you).

So you might be thinking, “Aw, what a great boyfriend! Next?”

No. We need to really think about this lesson embedded in this scene. Like, how many times have you been dreading telling someone something you knew would disappoint them and you were greeted with a harsh, or even just discouraged, response?

Probably many times.

But how many times have you been given love and admiration for the courage it took you to share that news? How many times were you asked, before any opinions were shared, how you were doing?

And let me flip that question around a bit. When was the last time you responded to disappointing news with care and concern instead of worry or anger?

I think the reason this scene meant so much to me is because I really wanted someone to just ask me how I was doing. I also felt guilty that I haven’t always reacted with such maturity and love to others when faced in similar situations. I’m more inclined to share my opinions on the news rather than hear their side of the story.

Now, I know there are many instances where they say not to ask that question, like right after someone died or something like that. Often that just overwhelms a person.

But I think you’ll know deep down in your heart when it’s the right time to ask if you really stop and let yourself step into the other person’s shoes.

Is there someone who needs to be asked how they’re doing? Like, how they’re really doing?

I know it can be awkward, but sometimes you just have to be the first person to make a move. You have to be the one to start that act of kindness. And if you think about it, that’s only four words. Four simple words to completely change a conversation, even a relationship, around.

So the next time you are tempted to get annoyed at someone’s bad news, think about the situation from their perspective and respond with empathy. Or, if you feel like there’s someone being overlooked or overworked, reach out and see if you can be there for them.

You never know how you might be able to change a life today.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32