Hope – Page 9 – The Will to Wake Up

Uprooting Resentment

Finding the strength to let go.

I have the uncanny ability to kill plants whenever I’m in my backyard. I’m not sure how it happens, but the badminton birdie or the big green ball or the frisbee will be in the air one minute, and the next it’s steering directly into a flower head.

But weeds, well, those are a whole different story. They are often equipped with thorns to prevent you from removing them by hand, and even when you successfully tear them out of the soil, often their roots are left behind, making your work meaningless.

Sometimes, it feels that way with relationships. Joyful moments with loved ones, like beautiful flowers, can be easily overshadowed by an argument or miscommunication or one person disappointing the other. And when thorny anger takes root…man, those roots run deep.

Anger, especially when it first pops up, isn’t a “wrong” feeling. Often, it’s quite justifiable. Your neighbor didn’t show up when you needed them. A friend lied to you. Your parent unintentionally participated in your need for therapy. A coworker’s mistake cost you a promotion. The list could go on and on.

But there comes a point when the anger begins hurting you more than anything else. It chokes out the life in you each time you replay the painful moment of betrayal.

There comes a time when you need to get on the thick gloves and pull out the sharp shovel to do the real work of uprooting your resentment.

Anger transforming into resentment doesn’t happen overnight. It usually takes a few weeks, sometimes months, and it really thrives on years. In fact, the longer you water it with supporters of your resentment and tend to it with better comebacks, the stronger it becomes.

I am someone who struggles with resentment. I didn’t realize this for a long time, often because I thought my anger was justified. And maybe it was, at first. But then it grew so big, it blocked my vision of seeing anything more beautiful.

Though I am accountable for listening to my resentment over the Holy Spirit’s voice of grace, I was also susceptible to those who encouraged these harmful feelings. They were well-meaning people, of course, but when the voices around us inflate our negative feelings towards others, we need to step back and question whether they are voices worth listening to.

There are two things killed when resentment consumes our lives. The first is our joy. We forget the beautiful things about life and relationships when we focus solely on who hurt us. The second is our love. We begin to question the motives of those who love us, even those who haven’t hurt us, when we allow resentment to tell us that everyone is out to harm us. And we forget how to show others love in the way Jesus has demonstrated for us, through grace and forgiveness and honesty.

Resentment may seem “nicer” than being honest with the people who have hurt us. I know it feels easier, but it’s not.

While confronting others with the truth about their mistakes or admitting there’s a broken piece in our relationship with them is difficult and may result in tears or discomfort, it is vital to forming healthy relationships.

No relationship built on mistrust, false pretenses, and doubt will flourish.

Today, ask Jesus to help you uproot your resentment. It may take some time, but start by avoiding conversations that revolve around complaining about the person who has harmed you, and instead find a healthier way to either approach that person directly (with mercy) or someone who can actually help the situation.

Pray that Jesus opens your heart and fills it with the strength to let go of your resentment and press forward into who you are meant to become.

You are not in this battle alone. ❤

When he arrived and saw what the grace of God had done, he was glad and encouraged them all to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts.
Acts 11:23

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
Romans 3:23-24

Embracing Our Inadequacies

We are not defined by our mistakes — but we must learn from them if we want to become who we are meant to be.

I love everything there is to love about the art of writing — apart from one pretty major thing: receiving feedback.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who gets shattered by a harsh comment or bristles at being criticized. It’s part of human nature to be sensitive, especially about things that are intertwined with our perception of ourselves.

For those of you who aren’t writers or artists, who don’t have a piece of you on display meant for the audience and editors to judge, there are certainly other aspects of your life where you may receive feedback or there is possibility for growth. Personality traits, job performance, social skills, participating in sports or hobbies…there are so many areas of our lives that become all too personal when critiqued.

While we certainly shouldn’t take critiques to heart, there is also reason for us to embrace constructive criticism.

In the wise words of Winston Churchill, “Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.”

But what about when we are convicted in our faith? Now that’s a whole other matter. While being told that our brushstrokes are too heavy or our pitch is too soft or our characters need deeper development doesn’t say anything about who we are as a person, our faith is our connection to Jesus. When we face convictions, we may begin to shy away from Jesus.

I’m sure you know of at least one person who is deterred from participating in a relationship with Jesus because they are afraid of being judged by Him and don’t want to feel convicted. Honestly, fair point. Especially for someone who hasn’t spent much time with Jesus and doesn’t understand much of who He is.

There are many interactions of Jesus’ in the New Testament that are uncomfortable. One of which occurs in Mark 10 when a law-abiding man approaches Jesus with a question, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

Now, this man had followed every single law (at least, according to his account, and Jesus didn’t disagree), but he had accumulated great wealth. Knowing that perhaps generosity was a weakness of his, Jesus replied, “You lack one thing — go, sell whatever you have and give the money to the poor; then you will have treasure in heaven. And come, follow me.” (Mark 10: 17, 21)

This man was disheartened by the news, as I’m sure any of us would’ve been to hear that we had to give up everything we had earned. In the MOUNCE translation, which gives the Greek words and meanings alongside the English text, the word for disheartened is “stygnazō”, which means a gloomy or downcast look, as well as to be shocked and appalled.

I think most of us can relate to this man, even though we may not be rich. You’ve done everything you could do. You’ve lived a “better” life than most of the people around you. And yet, you still have more to give? When will enough be enough?

I’m not a historian or a biblical scholar, so I can’t say whether or not this man had spoken to Jesus before. Assuming that he hadn’t, imagine that this was his first interaction with this renowned teacher. He had heard how Jesus extended love in such a way that no one could leave Him unaffected. He was excited — the Bible says that he ran up to Jesus and even kneeled before him, showing reverence — but that excitement disappeared when he was met by reproach instead of love.

Or was that really what happened?

Today was the first time I noticed Jesus’ reaction to this man before He told him to give up everything he had. It says, “Jesus, looking at him, loved him”. The Greek word for loved in this passage is “agapaō”, which means “to love, value, esteem, feel or manifest generous concern for, be faithful towards and to delight in”.

Jesus wasn’t ashamed of this man for what he lacked. Jesus loved him, so much that he wanted him to take a leap of faith and follow Him. Jesus knew it wouldn’t be easy. He also knew, I’m sure, that the man would choose to walk away that day. It never says that this love of Jesus’ disappeared when the man’s doubt and hesitation rose up. And perhaps this man changed his mind and followed Jesus later.

Jesus knew what act of faith would best strengthen this man, and He challenged him to grow. Any criticism or conviction worth listening to will challenge us to do the same.

So what can we take away from this story? A number of things, as with every encounter with Jesus.

First, don’t push away convictions as they rise up in your heart. Even if you don’t accept the challenge now, consider it. Ask yourself, will making this change in my life cause me to rely on Jesus even more than I already am?

Second, your growth areas don’t define or diminish your value. When it comes to your art or work or personality, the critiques given to you by others are generally meant to give you new perspective and help you become the best version of you that you can be.

And when it comes to Jesus, His words are always out of a place of love and generous concern for you.

So today, listen to Jesus. Contemplate His words. Ask Him questions. Because He loves you so much, He wants you to go to Him with everything and rely on Him as your source of strength.

Through it all, you will rise up into the person He created you to be.

Looking at them, Jesus said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.”
Mark 10:27

What Does it Mean to Be Content?

Exploring how to be content in an overcommitted society.

I took this photo two days ago as I sat on a piece of driftwood looking out over the beautiful ocean as the sky blossomed into delicate shades of dusk. And as my eyes took in what my mind could barely comprehend — the majesty of God’s creation in action — my breathing settled and I was slowly filled with peace.

I would describe this moment as feeling content.

According to the dictionary, being content means being satisfied, having your desires appeased, and even limiting oneself in requirements.

The idea of being content seems archaic in a world that thrives on self-improvement and ambition. But I don’t think that contentment means settling or limiting yourself.

To me, being content means that you have big dreams and you are continuing to work hard as you pursue God’s will for your life. However, when you are content, you aren’t rushing the process of transformation or growth.

I hate the word limitation because there are no limits on all God can do in and through us. However, perhaps limiting our list of requirements before we can experience joy or peace or trust in God is the key to embracing the fullness of life that God offers us.

I’ll be honest, after a few minutes of feeling content, my mind started to wander off to my next task and my inner peace wavered. As I’m figuring out, that’s what it means to be human: having constantly swaying emotions.

However, I believe that the more we release our lives to Jesus, the more content we will begin to feel. We likely won’t feel content all the time, but we will have more peace and less reason to miss out on the blessings of our present moments.

I saw a quote this morning that really convicted me:

“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.” – Seth Godin

As someone who often works hard (perhaps overdoing it at times) in order to “earn” a vacation, I am understanding more and more of how unhealthy this is. And as we journey towards creating a live worth living here and now, contemplate these questions with me:

What in your life are you grateful for?
Where do you feel the most at peace? (For me, it’s the beach!) Is there a way you can visit that place in the near future for some quality soul-care?
What in your life needs to change so that you don’t feel like you need to escape from it? Are there boundaries you need to set?

The argument that we only have one life and we don’t know how long it will be is often justification for overcommitting and fear of missing out. But perhaps this is also true: we only have one life, so how can we make the life we are in right now (not the life you working towards) the best it can possibly be?

I promise, you are not alone on this journey. You have no need to regret the past. All that matters is how you move forward, starting with this very moment.

Then he [Jesus] looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! ³⁵Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”
Mark 3:34-35

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹²I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:11-13

Abundant Life

Appreciating where you are right now.

What do you miss from the past?

The past can be any time, any place. A decade ago, a year ago, last month, yesterday. Perhaps even five minutes ago.

The past is a place where we can’t go back, but a place where our minds often drift.

Right now, I miss traveling. I miss seeing the sunset from the other side of the world. I miss hopping on and off buses that are clean and safe. I miss living out of a suitcase (knowing that it’s temporary). I miss living by the rule that I may never be here again, so why not try it?

It’s not that these things won’t ever happen again. But I’ll never be in the exact same place or situation, or as the same person even, as I was in those memories.

For the past few months, I’ve felt challenged to focus more on living in the present. I have one friend in particular who is really good at it — at least in my opinion. She considers the future, but doesn’t rush herself. She honors the past, but doesn’t live in it.

She cherishes the now.

What do you think you will miss from today? In a week, a year, a decade…what’s special about where you are right now?

Is it the people? Perhaps an older generation who you get to glean wisdom from every Sunday. Or a particular coworker or friend who makes life more fun. Maybe it’s the place where you are living, with a beautiful view, or on a street with kind neighbors. It could even be your health or the weather or the time you have today to rest.

Once you identify that thing or things, spend today appreciating it. Thank God for the gift of where you are now, even if it’s not where you thought you’d be or where you hope to be in the long term. Cherish the simple moments that are easily forgotten. Take photos and write down the details of today.

Not so that you can live in the past later when you are missing these things. Rather, so that you won’t have any regrets about not living fully today.

I [Jesus] came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
John 10:10

A Renewal of the Mind

Approaching reading the Bible in a reflective light.

In November of 2019, I decided I wanted to try reading the Bible in a year. Fast-forward to now (cough, June 2023, cough) and I have three books left! Starting in Genesis…getting stuck in Leviticus…meandering through the New Testament before circling back to the prophets…I’ve found myself in 2 Chronicles as one of my final books.

To be honest, I wasn’t sure how much I would learn from the Chronicles. One king after another doing the wrong thing, a reminder that only Jesus is the perfect king. Among fascinating stories, I ended up contemplating 2 Chronicles chapter 33 long after I closed my Bible.

In this chapter, we are introduced to an evil king named Manasseh. By evil, I mean he rebuilt all the “high places” designated for worshiping false gods, defiled God’s temple, and even sacrificed his children while practicing divination and witchcraft. Yeah, not exactly a guy I’d want to meet.

While the people followed Manasseh’s detestable practices, God still spoke to them, but they refused to listen. In order to get their attention, God brought the Assyrian army against them, who took Manasseh prisoner and tortured him.

During this experience, Manasseh humbled himself and prayed to God. To my surprised, God listened and allowed Manasseh another chance by bringing him back to Jerusalem. Verse 13 states, “Then Manasseh knew that the Lord is God.”

He ended up living the rest of his days faithful to God and was buried in an honorary location. The rest of God’s people used the high places as a location to worship God rather than their idols.

Stepping away from this chapter left me with a mix of emotions.

First of all, I was pretty upset by Manasseh’s actions. How could humbling himself be worth a second chance? What about his sacrificed children? Don’t they deserve justice?

I also wondered why Manasseh and the Israelites had to go through so much just to come to the revelation that “the Lord is God”. Was it really worth a battle? Being tortured? Are we as humans so prideful that it takes being brutally harmed before we come to understand who God is?

But then I had to take another step back from the situation and reflect on my involvement in this story. Who am I to say that God shouldn’t given Manasseh another chance? Am I really so much better than him? Sure, I don’t participate in witchcraft or kill people, but I sin every day. I have hurt people with my words and actions. I struggle with pride at times. God isn’t always my first priority, even though I know He should be.

And second, how is it that we can so easily make light of the fact that our Lord (the one who listens to us, plans our lives, and loves us dearly) is God?

Just sit with that for a moment. Tell your fear and anxiety to stand down. Think of all the areas of your life where you feel superior. Remember the everyday miracles that have brought you to where you are today.

The Lord, the one who made us and died for us, is God. He is here right now. He is the one in control. Not us. Never us. But that’s okay — perfect, in fact — because God knows so much more than we ever could.

The next time you read the Bible, which I hope is today, I encourage you to open your heart and ask the Spirit to help you notice and hear what God is pointing out to you through the passage. You may be reading a familiar story or a chapter that’s universally seen as dull. But perhaps it doesn’t have to be. After all, we are reading God’s own word.

And that’s not something to be taken lightly either. In fact, that’s one pretty spectacular gift.

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. ¹³Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
Hebrews 4:12-13

On Your Mind

You are on God’s mind — sit with that for a minute.

What’s on your mind right now?

Perhaps it’s a comment that stung, a smile from a stranger, or a frustrating work problem. Our minds are complicated swirling pieces of us often running endless laps of thoughts.

On Tuesday, I found myself wrapped up in a negative thought cycle. Snippets of conversations that were hurtful, moments that could’ve used better words, and tones that dug deep under the skin.

After spending too long caught up in these thoughts, I sat down and began to write what I needed to hear rather than what I had heard that day.

It started off specific, such as, “Their reaction doesn’t decide how ‘valid’ your feelings or experiences are”. Then it gradually expanded to broader reminders, such as, “Don’t let the enemy steal your joy” and “This won’t last forever”.

Then yesterday, I had a verse from a worship song pulsing through my brain. “I was on your mind before the world began…” (referring to God).

I spent far too long searching for the name of this song, whose verse was unfortunately too similar to another great hit by Matthew West, not the song in my head.

My persistence paid off when I found it on a playlist created by one of my wonderful, musically inclined friends, conveniently titled “On Your Mind” (but by John Mark Pantana).

While the search was an unproductive use of time, I realized God was trying to get my attention through it. Exploring the meaning of this song and really focusing on the lyrics reminded me of how each detail of our lives is significant to God. Not because He needs us, but because He loves us.

No matter what is plaguing our minds or what other people think about us, we are always on God’s mind. He has always had a plan for us.

It can be scary when someone says they were thinking about us. Usually it means they were worried about us. But sometimes, it just means that they care and enjoy thinking about us.

When God says we’re on His mind, it is out of a place of deep love and affection. Learning from our mistakes, taking steps of growth, and tending to our brothers and sisters causes God to delight in us.

What do you need to hear today? What might God be whispering in your ear?

I challenge you to take the time to be still and listen. Often God’s voice is in the gentle breeze covered by the roaring wind.

For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them!
Psalm 139:16-17

Created for Rest

We were created for rest. How can we live that out in our busy lives?

I’ll never forget the time one of my friends shared the insight that we were not created to work hard enough to deserve rest, but to participate in rest itself.

Rest doesn’t mean laying around all day being lazy. It means embracing each season without racing ahead. It means taking the time to be still with Jesus each day. It means doing things that fill your soul and bring you joy. It means setting boundaries, even when others don’t understand.

In our bustling society, rest is often considered luxurious. Rarely do we think of not resting as a sin. However, the author of Hebrews counteracts this popular belief:

Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it.
Hebrews 4:1

In fact, by resting, we proclaim the good news of Jesus.

That may seem confusing, but hear me out. When we rest, we:

Admit that we can’t do everything on our own strength
Trust that God will fill in the gaps that we miss during our breaks
Abide in the peace that only God can bring
Show ourselves love by recognizing and taking care of our needs
Love others better because we feel restored ourselves

Last weekend, I went on a retreat for the first time in four years. I certainly underestimated all that God would do during a simple less-than-48-hour period of intentional listening and community and rest.

To be honest, I hardly slept on the well-worn mattress in a lodge shared with spiders. Rest didn’t take the form of sleep during this retreat. But by spending time with God and close friends, I was able to experience peace and remember what joy feels like. Going back into a tough week, I felt strengthened and approached my relationships with grace rather than the impatience that comes from burn-out.

When sharing about my retreat with one of my friends (the same one I quoted earlier, isn’t she brilliant? 😉 ), she remarked, “Isn’t it amazing all God can do when we give Him a weekend?”

Rest allows us to focus on what God is doing in our lives. When we are rushing through our tasks, falling asleep before we can say “amen”, we lose sight of the wonder of our God.

You may not have time to go on a retreat; clearly it took me four years to make space for one. However, there are ways to incorporate rest in your daily routine. Even just setting aside 10-20 minutes at the beginning and end of each day to reflect and spend time with God, or saving an hour each weekend to do what brings you joy may help you feel more refreshed and eager to pursue your faith.

Rest is a free gift from God. Let’s accept it together, shall we?

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

Why are You in Ministry?

Reflections on participating in ministry.

We are all in ministry.

Yes, even you, even in an office or a classroom or at home. In fact, it often takes different forms over the course of your life. Sometimes it means serving in Sunday school, other times it means caring for a unbelieving family member.

Ministry is often defined in religious settings as working towards bringing people to God and discipling them with God’s love. Everyone, whether people who have grown up in faith or haven’t heard a single word from the Bible, needs to experience God’s ministry.

Here is one definition of ministry: “A person or thing through which something is accomplished” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). Another word for this is instrumentality, which means the state of being a crucial tool.

In some ways, I like this definition because it reminds us of our purpose as God’s creation to spread the good news of Jesus’ love and sacrifice to others so that their lives can be transformed. However, when we begin to view our ministry as a thing that needs to be accomplished, we lose sight of what really matters.

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a very insightful pastor who shared about a discussion he was having with other sermon-writers about balancing the need to create sermons that both serve the congregation and also allow for the pastors themselves to explore where God’s Spirit is leading and teaching them individually.

While it may seem like a pastor’s main job is to serve the congregation, how much richer would sermons be if pastors wrote them from a place of curiosity and readiness to grow closer to God in their own spiritual journeys?

Though you may not be writing a sermon anytime soon, I believe this approach to ministry is crucial no matter where we serve. Most of my ministry is in the form of creating and teaching lessons for kids. Recently, I’ve found myself overly focused on creating a fun and memorable experience for the kids rather than trying to hear what God is teaching me through these lessons.

This past year has been a season of stepping back and reevaluating why I’m in ministry. Is it to fulfill a hole in my life? Is it to feel needed? Is it because I love God and His people? Is it because I am called?

And what happens when a calling shifts? Does that mean I have to move even if good work is being done?

Last fall, I had been wrestling over whether or not to leave a ministry position at the end of my term, particularly because it had felt like my calling for a period of time and I hadn’t experienced a clear new calling yet. After several events and encounters led me to conclude that it was time to step aside and make room for a new leader, I still had lingering questions in the back of my mind: Am I really supposed to leave? How can I know for sure?

Then it hit me this week, as I’m winding down my time in this position, one question I hadn’t asked myself until now: Is my participation in this ministry bringing me closer to God or hurting my relationship with Him?

Truthfully, while I believe other parts of my life are drawing me closer to God, my recent experiences in this role have not been beneficial to my spiritual wellbeing. They have caused me to get caught up in the “doing” rather than the “being” of relationship with God and others.

I think it’s important for everyone in ministry to periodically reevaluate why they are in ministry. If this is the place where you are at right now, I’m inviting you to ask yourself these questions as honestly as you can:

What originally drew me to this ministry? Do those factors still apply? Have new factors arisen?
How do I feel after participating in this ministry?
Do I still sense a calling from God to stay in this ministry?
Are there other ministries that I am more drawn to?
Is my participation in this ministry bringing me closer to God or hurting my relationship with Him (and others)?

These aren’t questions for the faint of heart, and I pray that you are presented with answers that bring you clarity and peace. God is working in you wherever you are, and nothing you can do will change that.

You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.

Such confidence we have through Christ before God.
2 Corinthians 3:2-4

Stay Curious

Encouragement for your prayer life.

I’ll be honest: it can be difficult having a conversation with someone who doesn’t usually speak audibly or show facial expressions.

Has this ever happened to you? You’re bowing your head in prayer, and suddenly something out your window catches your eye. Or you begin asking God to help someone in your life, and then your mind begins to wander. How is that person? Did they seem upset the last time you met? What are they doing right now? Probably something more interesting than this.

When I’ve been under the wrong notion of what prayer should be, prayer has caused me a lot of unnecessary guilt. Does my distractedness show God disrespect? Am I lacking in faith when I struggle in prayer?

Thankfully, God is a God of endless grace.

Prayer feels restrictive when we are given a template of how to pray and what not to say. Though we are told time and again that prayer needs to be a conversation, how can we really converse with God?

The other day, I was going through my usual style of prayer when I froze, on the cusp of losing my attention, and asked God a question.

Nothing profound, just a simple question. But that one question led to another and another. I didn’t get any answers to those questions (yet), but I did receive another revelation: God welcomes our curiosity.

It may feel silly asking God questions when we know we likely aren’t going to hear back right away. But asking questions assumes a sense of vulnerability. We admit that we don’t know everything, but God does.

Often people asked God questions in the Bible. The disciples asked Jesus to explain His parables. Many psalmists asked God deep questions about the state of their own existence. Even Jesus, when on the cross, calls out to God with a question.

When we stay curious in our faith, we won’t grow bored with it. Instead, we will grow a new level of comfort with God as we embrace the things we do not know.

And when we approach life with curiosity, we will start to appreciate the beauty that surrounds us, notice the outsiders who are overlooked, and discover ways systems could be improved for the betterment of society.

What is your soul asking God today?

It could simply be “why” or “how” or perhaps something more complex. God is listening to all of it and even if you never find out the exact answer, God is the giver of peace.

How long, Lord, must I call for help,
    but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!”
    but you do not save?
³Why do you make me look at injustice?
    Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?

[The Lord’s Answer:]

Look at the nations and watch—
    and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
    that you would not believe,
    even if you were told.
Habakkuk 1:1-3, 5

Waiting for God at the Edge

A poem for those who have ever wondered where God is in our pain.

If God could stop my heart from breaking,

Why am I still in pain?

If God could erase all my tears,

Why am I still in dismay?

If the sun still rises each new day,

Why must I be in such disarray?

If I hold onto all of God’s promises,

Why do I still feel this way?

Perhaps God can do all these things

Paint the sky with vibrant hints of love

Sing to me with the birds perched up above

Wrap His arms around the little children

And wait for me to come running.

But what if there’s something to gain from pain?

An aching heart can mend another

The presence of a soul who truly understands

The longing to rest in God’s own hands.

Yes, God can cure the worst of nightmares

That spark to life like wildfire

Scorching our hope and singeing our pride

Until we’re at the height of being alive.

God allows us to reach the edge of the cliff

But He holds our hands so we don’t drift.

Perhaps His presence is enough

To satisfy the wish for the whirling to stop

And instead to remember that no matter what

Through tears and aches and pains

That God is right here

Loving, faithful, patient, and true

Always the same, right here for me and you.

You have not come to a mountain that can be touched and that is burning with fire; to darkness, gloom and storm;

But you have come to Mount Zion, to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, ²³to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the Judge of all, to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, ²⁴to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.
Hebrews 12:18, 22-24