Tag: Hope

Seeking Signs of Growth

Is it hard to trust God’s plan for you in the waiting?

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have a green thumb.

(Cough, one time I caused a succulent to burn and rot simultaneously…)

But this was going to be the summer of new life. After the spontaneous purchase of a packet of sunflower seeds, I hurried to the backyard and planted seeds in every spare plot of soil. It was a generous packet, and I ran out of space with still six seeds left.

A few years back, we had planted sunflower seeds in a pot, and they barely grew. But I had run out of other options, so I pushed the remaining seeds down in the soil of a large pot.

Then I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Oh, and watered.

Other plants sprung up around me, but my sunflowers wouldn’t even sprout. Faithfully I watered, and still no sign of growth.

After a month and a half of waiting, I determined that the seeds planted around the yard had been eaten by rabbits or birds. The only spouts, barely a few inches high, were in the pot.

And then, after the first leaf made an appearance, someone chomped the leaf off too.

I wasn’t willing to give up on my last surviving seeds, so I elevated the pot onto a chair (out of reach of my furry visitors) and prayed that they would still grow.

We had one of the driest, sunniest summers in Washington history–the perfect climate for sunflowers. Yet my sunflower buds refused to pop open.

September rolled around, and I was starting to give up hope that I would ever see the fruit of my labor. All the other plants withered for winter or transformed into one final brilliant display of color.

And then a clump of yellow petals peeked out into the world.

At last! A sign of life.

Right as the rainy season was about to begin.

God knew how much these flowers meant to me. They weren’t just proof that perhaps I could keep something alive. They were a sign of hope, that all the waiting was worth it.

Not just in my gardening life, but in all the areas where it’s been hard to be patient.

And so, even through stormy nights and windy mornings, these flowers bloomed vibrantly. Yellow and orange smiles greeted me whenever I ventured into the backyard after a long day.

They withstood more than I could’ve imagined: hungry animals, dewy mornings, and heavy winds.

Perhaps if they would’ve bloomed when I had wanted, I never would’ve realized how strong they were.

As the only color in a fading yard, they stood out as the light. This was their time to shine, and through the waiting, they were an even greater encouragement.

What are you waiting on in your life?

Perhaps life feels stagnant…and has felt stagnant for years. But don’t lose hope. God is preparing you for all that is to come. With changing seasons, there are opportunities to draw close to Him, in both the blessing and the trial. In fact, the waiting times are often when we rely on Him the most.

When you seek God in the waiting, it will not be a wasted season. You will be strengthened in Him so that you are ready when the next season arrives. Keep your eyes open to all the ways He’s reaching out and showing you His love, even if it’s through a simple flower or friendly smile.

You are growing, and have already grown, more than you think.

His purpose for you never changes. You are designed to be His child, a beckon of His light, love, and truth throughout your community. Show up faithfully, even with your scars, longings, and questions, and He will answer you.

The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever.

Isaiah 40:8 (NIV)

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?

Matthew 6:28-30 (NIV)


Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Romans 12:12 (NIV)

The God of Yesterday, Today, and Forever

Let’s explore how God’s loving nature is revealed in the oldest book of the Bible.

Did you know that Job is the oldest book of the Bible? Even though Genesis covers the beginning of the world, it wasn’t written until the time of Moses.

The story of Job is quite fascinating. He begins as a “blameless and upright” man who is pleasing in the eyes of God (Job 1:1). However, he undergoes a severe trial in which he loses his wealth, children, and health.

He cries out to God and God hears him.

Though Job is blind from seeing his faults, his friends are quick to point them out. They go back and forth, until at last Elihu speaks up.

He’s the youngest, yet wisest of Job’s friends. He doesn’t condemn Job the way the other men do. However, he reminds Job of their shared humanity and how that contrasts to the holiness of God.

My words come from an upright heart;
    my lips sincerely speak what I know.
4 The Spirit of God has made me;
    the breath of the Almighty gives me life.
5 Answer me then, if you can;
    stand up and argue your case before me.
6 I am the same as you in God’s sight;
    I too am a piece of clay.
7 No fear of me should alarm you,
    nor should my hand be heavy on you.

8 “But you have said in my hearing—
    I heard the very words—
9 ‘I am pure, I have done no wrong;
    I am clean and free from sin.
10 Yet God has found fault with me;
    he considers me his enemy.
11 He fastens my feet in shackles;
    he keeps close watch on all my paths.’

12 “But I tell you, in this you are not right,
    for God is greater than any mortal.
13 Why do you complain to him
    that he responds to no one’s words?
14 For God does speak—now one way, now another—
    though no one perceives it.
15 In a dream, in a vision of the night,
    when deep sleep falls on people
    as they slumber in their beds,
16 he may speak in their ears
    and terrify them with warnings,
17 to turn them from wrongdoing
    and keep them from pride,
18 to preserve them from the pit,
    their lives from perishing by the sword.

Job 33:3-18 (NIV)

When you think about the God of the Old Testament, what words and images come to mind?

Often, this God is depicted as powerful, mighty, and even frightening. And then in the New Testament, Jesus comes along, the loving and merciful servant, who seems to contradict God the Father.

However, they are one in the same.

Consider the final verse from our previous reading from Job 32. The motive behind God speaking to His people–even “terrifying them with warnings”–is to preserve them from perishing.

God has always been motivated by His love for us.

And…God has always been holy and in control of everything.

While these two “sides of God” might be difficult to reconcile with each other, this fact should actually bring us peace.

When we place our trust in people, they will often fail us. When we place our trust in the world, it will let us down.

But God knows everything and will guide us in His love. He has no ulterior motives, and He’s the only one who is in control of our lives.

When we ask for His wisdom, He directs us to the best path possible. He knows which route will bring us closer to Him, and He will lead us there. That is the safest, most joyful place to be.

Because God is love and God is holy, we can fully trust Him.

It is unthinkable that God would do wrong,
    that the Almighty would pervert justice.
13 Who appointed him over the earth?
    Who put him in charge of the whole world?
14 If it were his intention
    and he withdrew his spirit and breath,
15 all humanity would perish together
    and mankind would return to the dust.

Job 34:12-15 (NIV)

From the beginning, God’s goal has been to have a relationship with us–His precious creation. We’ve tried to screw that up by following our own will, believing that we (with our limited understanding) actually know best.

Even in the Old Testament, God was orchestrating His plan to free us from our sins so that we can have a eternal relationship with Him.

Yet if there is an angel at their side,
    a messenger, one out of a thousand,
    sent to tell them how to be upright,
24 and he is gracious to that person and says to God,
    ‘Spare them from going down to the pit;
    I have found a ransom for them—
25 let their flesh be renewed like a child’s;
    let them be restored as in the days of their youth’—
26 then that person can pray to God and find favor with him,
    they will see God’s face and shout for joy;
    he will restore them to full well-being.
27 And they will go to others and say,
    ‘I have sinned, I have perverted what is right,
    but I did not get what I deserved.
28 God has delivered me from going down to the pit,
    and I shall live to enjoy the light of life.’

Job 33:23-28 (NIV)

The Holy Spirit is our advocate. When we pray, He intercedes for us and God grants us mercy.

God has spared us from the pit and has given us new life in Him. And no matter what happens, He will always desire a relationship with us.

Returning to Job’s story, God eventually spoke to him directly and reminded him that He is the creator of all. Job repented and received double the blessings, living his new life with a deeper reverence for God.

We are offered the same new life. Let’s celebrate that by worshipping God. Thank God for saving you and ask how He wants you to live out His calling today.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Hebrews 13:8 (NIV)

Shining as a Single Person

Do you feel stuck and discouraged as a single person? I hope these words encourage you ❤

If you’ve been among Christian circles, you’ve likely heard the term, “a season of singleness.” It’s an especially frustrating term for those of us who have been in a particularly long “season of singleness” because it suggests it’s a brief, miserable stage that must be endured before the reward of a spouse.

The truth is, singleness might last for many seasons for some of us. No matter if we’re single for another five years or fifty, are we meant to spend the whole time anxiously waiting for this season to end?

Don’t get me wrong–marriage is a beautiful thing, especially because it was created by God to symbolize His everlasting love for us (His bride, the church).

But what if both singleness and marriage can be beautiful and God-ordained?

Consider this rather strange interaction Jesus had with religious leaders in Matthew:

That same day the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. 24 “Teacher,” they said, “Moses told us that if a man dies without having children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for him. 25 Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother. 26 The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh. 27 Finally, the woman died. 28 Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?”

29 Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. 30 At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. 31 But about the resurrection of the dead—have you not read what God said to you, 32 ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? He is not the God of the dead but of the living.”

33 When the crowds heard this, they were astonished at his teaching.

Matthew 22:23-33 (NIV)

The Sadducees were trying to test Jesus (as usual) but Jesus (as usual) responded with the unfiltered truth–and gave us a glimpse into Heaven.

God gives us both temporary and eternal blessings. While both reveal His deep love for us, temporary blessings end after we die, while eternal blessings last forever.

Temporary blessings can include a house, career, friends, and even a spouse. Those are amazing things that may be in line with God’s plan for us, yet they will all fade eventually.

But eternal blessings? Those all center on one incredible reality: walking with God forever.

Consider the passage that follows:

Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35 One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 22:34-40

It’s not wrong to desire a relationship. However, whether we’re single or not, our relationship is destined for turmoil if we love our partner more than we love God. When we seek to fill the void in our hearts with a romantic relationship rather than God, we are breaking the greatest commandment in the Bible.

And remember, all of God’s commandments were designed out of His love for us. He knew that we are flawed people who can’t fill every single need for each other. But God is perfect, holy, and eternal. He is the only one who can fill the empty space in our hearts with His unfailing love.

Does this mean we should just abandon the world and live in a montestary?

For most of us, no. (Only if God’s calling you to do so!)

When we are satisfied by our relationship with God, we will be able to extend His love to others with a pure heart–friends, neighbors, strangers, and perhaps even a spouse someday. God’s intention for us is to become more like Jesus, who demonstrated a healthy balance of time alone with God and service to others.

If you’re still dreading another weekend of third-wheeling or grabbing a table for one, consider this wisdom from Paul, (who was also single, by the way):

Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.

Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.

Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.

1 Corinthians 7:8, 17, 20 (NIV)

God’s plan for you is perfect. He knows whether you are meant to stay single or get married. Whatever happens, trust that He loves you and can satisfy your needs.

As a single person myself, there are times when the enemy’s lies overshadow God’s truth. Sometimes, I wonder:

Is there something wrong with me that makes me unattractive to others?

Has God forgotten about me?

When will my time come? Or has it already passed, and I missed it?

Will I always be alone?

Will I ever be chosen?

Friend, if you’ve struggled with the same fears, repeat after me:

I will not believe the enemy’s lies. God will take care of me. I am not destined to be alone–in fact, I’m not even alone now, because God is with me.

God chose you and me to be in relationship with Him.

Our time is now. This is the moment for which we’ve been created. We don’t have to sit on our hands and wait for someone to finally notice us.

God already sees us and He’s preparing us to do His will in whatever situation we find ourselves.

Let’s arise and spread God’s love, after first receiving His love for us.

Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.

Isaiah 60:1 (NIV)

God Cares for You

Last weekend when my plans fell through, God reminded me of His perfect plan. I hope my story encourages you today!

After a week riddled with disappointments and frustrations, I wanted nothing more than to enjoy our family road trip in peace.

The day started off as planned. We arrived at the ferry terminal just as the golden rays of sunrise flickered over the rippling ocean waves. During our first several hours on the island, we ate delicious pastries, caught stunning views of the mountains, and even coerced our little dog into going on a hike.

There were little hiccups along the way that threatened my joy, but I held fast to my resolve, even jotting down in my journal that “God’s plan is so much greater than mine.”

The enemy saw that as a challenge.

In the mid-afternoon, we decided we wanted to catch an earlier ferry since the one we had reserved would bring us home after midnight. We could even watch the sunset at a beach on the way home.

My favorite part of every trip is the sunset. It reminds me of God’s beauty and creativity, filling me with His presence and hope.

And boy, did I need some hope after the week I had.

We sat in line for the ferry for almost an hour before cars started their engines. Inch by inch, car by car, I prayed that we’d make it.

But then the cars started circling back. Our line never even got to move.

And the next ferry wasn’t due to arrive for another three hours.

The worst part was, we couldn’t leave the line now that we were already in it. So much for exploring the island, much less seeing the sunset.

I was devastated–much more so than what was probably warranted for the situation. My joy was hinged on this one moment with God, and now even that seemed taken away from me.

After shedding a few tears in the sweltering car, I trekked down to the docks by the terminal. There were many groups of fellow passengers stuck in the same boat. Or rather, wishing we were all on a boat.

Though this should’ve brought some consolation, I was filled with bitterness. Here I was, alone and miserable, while they were laughing and enjoying life together.

As the clock ticked and the ferry was nowhere in sight, my last smidgen of hope that I’d even see a glimpse of the sunset vanished. There were trees blocking my view on either side of the docks.

In truth, I was upset with God. I prayed for weeks that this trip would be meaningful, especially since I haven’t been able to travel in so long. This was supposed to be the highlight of summer, but instead it felt like the climax of a disappointing week.

But God kept nudging my heart. Be patient. Keep waiting. I’m still here.

The sun fully disappeared below the skyline by the time we made it on the ferry. Still, I snatched my camera bag and rushed to the upper deck just in case.

And sure enough, God was there.

In a brilliant display of deep oranges and blues, twilight fell upon the ocean as our ferry chugged away from shore. It was so incredibly beautiful, it took my breath away.

It wasn’t the sunset, but it was even more special. And somehow, it lasted for an entire hour–our whole ferry ride back–becoming even more magnificent with each passing minute. (Enjoy my snapshot of this view in the featured image!)

Many of my insecurities are rooted in the fear of missing out. I’ve often struggled with feeling like I’m not where I want to be at this stage of my life.

But God was reminding me, with a simple yet elegant night sky, that He cares for me. His plan is better than mine because He thinks in eternal terms, while I am stuck with my limited understanding.

And His perfect plan is worth waiting for.

So how can we wait without becoming idle or restless?

By praying that God prepares us for what’s to come. We are already living out His will for us, even on the days that feel mundane. As we grow in reliance on God, we will become more and more like Jesus, which is the ultimate goal of God’s plan.

It’s easy to forget who God is, and thus doubt that He knows what He’s doing. But God is perfect in every way, which means we can trust Him. He created us and loves us more than we’ll ever be able to comprehend.

My eyes will watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back to this land. I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them.

Jeremiah 24:6 (NIV)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

The Prodigal Character

What if our “problem characters” can actually point us–and our readers–to Christ?

“Not all who wander are lost.” ~ J.R.R Tolkien

If you’re a writer, you’ve likely encountered a “problem” character in your stories. The kind that just doesn’t want to do what you tell them to do. Perhaps you were hoping to redeem them in the end, but by the time you reach the last chapter, you’re so frustrated with them that you would rather drop their plot line all together.

Over the past year, I’ve been participating in a novel writing apprenticeship program, which has truly transformed how I understand stories, characters, and themes. For my first project, I wrote about a young woman overcoming her fear of change in order to save her family’s ice cream parlor.

Andie, my protagonist, wasn’t my problem character. Her best friend, Val, was.

In my program, we’re required to go through an extensive planning process before we can draft our story. Even in the initial stages, Val was often critiqued as being “too unhealthy” and “distracting from the main plot.” (A very fair analysis, I will admit.)

By the time I got to drafting, I thought Val was finally reined in as a side character. Until I reached Chapter 8, where it all fell apart.

Val was introduced at her birthday party, where she made a grand entrance in a flashy red gown before having the most passive aggressive conversation with her mom. It went something like:

Val shoots a look at her mom. “Wow, you really don’t know me at all, do you?”

“Valentina,” Mrs. Valores says, her voice never wavering. “What are you talking about?”

Val holds up a carton of almond mocha fudge ice cream. “You know I hate nuts. I can’t believe this. After that whole speech you gave about wanting me here–”

“Valentina, I can assure you that I didn’t order anything with nuts. I do know you, darling. And I want you here–”

“Oh really? So why are you still calling me ‘Valentina’ like we’re strangers, then?” Val demands.

She slams the carton back on the table. I wince, grateful it didn’t burst open.

The irony is that I didn’t know Val very well when I wrote her the first time. Or the second time. It wasn’t until I reread her lines a third time, frustrated beyond measure because she seemed beyond sympathetic, that I realized the issue.

I didn’t love Val.

You might think, “Of course you didn’t. Who would love this stuck-up, irritable character?”

But as her creator, it was my job to love her. The only way for her to be sympathetic to my readers was for me to love her first, and write out of that place instead of only seeing her in a negative light.

I had to ask myself, “How has Val become this way? Why do my other characters love her? What uniquely about her benefits this story and its themes?”

So back to the rewrites I went…and this time, Val transformed into a flawed, but lovable, character. In fact, when a friend read the most recent draft, she said that the plot line with Val was her favorite because it demonstrated the story’s faith themes the clearest. I was over the moon to hear that!

~

How often do we feel like a problem character in the eyes of our creator, God?

And how often do we view others as problem characters, beyond God’s power to heal and redeem?

When we are burdened with shame over our past mistakes, we may feel broken beyond repair. But that mindset neglects to recognize the power of Jesus’ work on the cross to save us from all our sins.

If God thought we were too broken to be worth saving, He never would’ve sent Jesus. He never would’ve let humanity grow beyond Adam and Eve, or saved Noah’s family when He wiped out the rest of humanity.

God offers us chance after chance to come home. And when we fall down at His feet, wearing filthy clothes with tears in our eyes, He reminds us that we are His precious creation. His sons and daughters.

Perhaps these “problem characters” that arise in our stories aren’t so problematic after all. Perhaps they are simply prodigals who will teach us the value of running back home to God rather than wallowing in our shame.

Perhaps they will even be the characters who point readers to Christ.

No matter what you’ve done or how far you’ve fallen, it’s not too late to ask God to be with you. He will always welcome you home.

Our stories of God transforming us day by day are a testament to His faithfulness. Your life story isn’t too messy for God to use to lead others to His love.

I’d encourage you to read the story of The Lost Son from the book of Luke and reflect on God’s deep love for you:

11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

Luke 15:11-31 (NIV)

Entering New Life with Scars

What if the painful moments in life reveal Jesus in your testimony?

Last weekend, I had the privilege of photographing a family friend’s wedding. Their ceremony was beautiful, with a simple elegance to it. This couple’s story is unique because both the bride and groom have gone through tremendous hardship before finding each other later in life.

They symbolized their new life by planting a tree during the ceremony, surrounded by their kids, before being prayed over. Through the way they authentically shared the painful road they took to the alter, their wedding wasn’t just about their relationship, but how God brought beauty from brokenness.

Words cannot describe the joy and delight that filled the sanctuary when the bride and groom kissed. New life felt tangible as hope hung in the air.

After witnessing this beautiful day, God has gently reminded me that our testimonies of His faithfulness are most meaningful and transformative when we are honest about the pain and heartbreak as well as the joys and victories.

Admitting that we’ve experienced loneliness, depression, or rejection doesn’t deny God’s holiness or love. Rather, it helps us recognize our need for Him.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

I love this verse because it provides such a joyful visual of what it’s like to accept Jesus into our lives. We are truly a new creation. God has saved us from death and brought us new life.

We are offered new life because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. He had to overcome death in order to give us the gift of life.

But consider how Jesus appears to His disciples after raising from the dead:

A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”

John 20:26-28 (NIV)

Even though Jesus was living in a resurrected body, He still had scars from His time on the cross. He didn’t deny the sacrifice it took to grant us life with Him. In fact, these scars were what helped Thomas identify Him as Jesus.

The scars remind us of the pain Jesus was willing to endure on our behalf because of His great love for us. Meanwhile, our scars reveal our weakness and need for a Savior.

The scars in our testimonies may be the moment that Jesus is revealed. The realization that we can’t save ourselves, but we are still given new life because we belong to the God who saves.

No matter what you have gone through, God can redeem your story and bless others by it. Don’t be afraid to share your testimony with others, but as you do so, ask God which pieces He wants you to tell. And in all things, glorify God as you recall His great love for you.

Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

Ephesians 6:19-20 (NIV)

Comforting Others in Truth

Do you ever struggle with knowing how to comfort a loved one authentically?

We’ve all faced that moment. Some of us dread it, others seek it out.

When a loved one’s eyes well up with tears as they share the heartbreak they are currently experiencing. You warmly embrace them in a hug, but once you pull away, the moment arrives. Your time to deliver words of comfort.

There are so many ways this moment can go wrong.

Oversharing about your own similar experiences, which puts the spotlight on you instead of your hurting friend. Blasting the person who hurt your friend, to the point where your words become malicious and gossipy. Boldly stating that your friend should just “tough it up.”

A few months ago, after hearing a friend share about her painful situation, I knew what the “right words” were. Words that affirmed her view of the situation. Words that promised a happily ever after.

I felt torn because I wanted her to feel God’s love through me, but I couldn’t be honest by comforting her with promises that weren’t mine to make. I didn’t know if there would be reconciliation. I didn’t know if what was lost would be restored.

In the end, I wasn’t as encouraging as I could’ve been and my friend expressed disappointment in our conversation.

I’m glad I didn’t go against my convictions and spoke fluffy words to her. But this situation made me realize I needed to go back to the Bible to learn how God wants me to comfort others in the future.

I’ve been reading through the book of Zechariah, one of the minor prophets in the Old Testament, and this morning I came across this verse:

The idols speak deceitfully, diviners see visions that lie; they tell dreams that are false, they give comfort in vain. Therefore the people wander like sheep oppressed for lack of a shepherd.

Zechariah 10:2 (NIV)

We are in a culture so focused on affirming ourselves that encouragement and comfort lose their strength and meaning. By inherently being broken people, we won’t find hope within ourselves. We will break promises to each other. Our limited vision prevents us from seeing the future.

So how can we encourage and comfort others in a way that is truthful and meaningful? By reminding them of the promises God–who is always faithful–has already made.

Later on in the same chapter, God makes this promise to His people:

I will strengthen Judah and save the tribes of Joseph. I will restore them because I have compassion on them. They will be as though I had not rejected them, for I am the Lord their God and I will answer them.

Zechariah 10:6 (NIV)

Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross allows all believers to be God’s children and receive His promises. These aren’t empty promises rooted in our flawed selves. These are everlasting promises overflowing with God’s mercy and love.

The next time you are comforting someone, consider referring to this verse, or another verse where God promises His people that He will never abandon them. You may even say something like this:

I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I cannot even comprehend the pain you are experiencing. But God knows exactly what you are going through and He promises to give you His strength when you turn to Him.

Healing takes time, but God is with you and will restore you, even if things don’t look exactly the way you hope. He has compassion on you because He loves you as His child. When you call out to Him, He will answer you.

Could I pray for you?

These words are imperfect, but a starting point. I know that I will likely miss an opportunity to comfort someone again in the future. But when we are willing and open to being led by the Spirit, God will show us who He wants us to comfort, and He will provide us with the words to encourage them.

Pray today to ask God to comfort and strengthen you, and then direct you to someone to comfort with His love.

 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)

Love Unconditional

Jesus has already done the work to allow us to experience God’s love.

I love my dog, Rocky. He’s 13 pounds of pure fluff and sass. But he’s also incredibly fickle.

We have a running joke in my family about who is Rocky’s favorite family member. Sometimes, we even compete with each other over the title by giving him extra treats or tummy rubs or walks. Rocky gravitates toward whichever family member will give him what he wants.

By the end of the day, Rocky’s favorite family member has changed at least a dozen times, depending on what we do for him and whether he feels cuddly or playful or in need of some serious alone time.

I am so incredibly grateful that God is not fickle.

Imagine if we all tried to get God to choose us as His favorite child!

Oh wait–we actually do that sometimes, don’t we?

When we try to earn God’s affection through good works, generosity, and even self-righteousness, it comes out of a place of insecurity. We’re worried that we won’t be chosen by Him–or loved by Him–if we don’t do enough to get His attention. If we aren’t better than our neighbor.

Even still, God is faithful.

His love isn’t dependent on what we do or even how we identify ourselves. Our heavenly Father has already given us the best identity imaginable: beloved by Him.

When we do good deeds out of fear that God won’t love us otherwise, we are acting out of selfishness rather than love. But when we are spurred on to bless others by remembering the work Jesus already did on the cross–the ultimate act of love–we have the power to shine God’s light on earth.

As broken people, we may never fully comprehend God’s love for us until we are face-to-face with Him. It’s beyond our understanding. It’s unconditional.

But I pray that each day you will experience an extra layer of God’s love, and that you will be transformed by His love to become the person He created you to be.

God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

1 Corinthians 1:9 (NIV)

Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10 so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

Philippians 1:6, 9-11 (NIV)

But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, 5 to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. 6 Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” 7 So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.

Galatians 4:4-7 (NIV)

Interviewing God

How do you approach God in prayer?

Imagine you’re a reporter, sitting down at a café with a steaming cup of coffee (or hot chocolate or tea, if you’re like me) and a flakey croissant. You tap your pen against the table, stealing glances over your shoulder toward the front door.

I wonder what He looks like, you think. Is He as big as they say? Will His brilliant light blind me?

God shows up–bigger, brighter, and better than you dreamed. He’s smiling when He sees you, His precious creation.

When we pray, we don’t often treat it like sitting down with God for coffee and having a friendly chat. Often, our prayer lives begin with a laundry list of requests, sometimes with complaints sprinkled in or even the occasional praise.

It shows maturity in faith to ask God questions during our time with Him.

But often, those questions are something like:

  • What do you want me to do in ____ situation?
  • Can you give me the strength to have patience with ____ person?
  • What is your plan for my life?

Those questions are certainly welcomed by God, as they help us surrender to His will. But they are still centered on us. On what we want from God–wisdom, discernment, clarity, answers.

What if, in addition to these sorts of questions, we asked God to reveal His character to us?

Let’s return to our earlier scene. You’re meeting with God, as you would any other person you want to learn more about. What sorts of questions would you ask Him?

If I were interviewing God, here are a few questions I might ask:

  • What inspired your creation of dogs?
  • Can you feel different temperatures?
  • What sorts of colors do you have in Heaven that we don’t have?

You may have a long history with God. That’s wonderful! But every relationship, including our relationships with other people, grow stale when we lose curiosity about one another.

Is there one person in your life who you can never spend too much time with? Perhaps they are your best friend or spouse or an important relative in your life.

Even though you know them intimately, there are still new things you’d like to know about them. You care about their opinion on issues and world events. You desire to know how they feel. You can never get enough of them.

What sorts of questions might you ask God if He were your best friend?

You may not find out what inspired God’s creation of giraffes or what His favorite color is, but perhaps you will get a deeper sense of who He is, which is what really matters.

Partner your time in prayer with reading God’s Word. If there was a book written about your best friend, you’d certainly want to read it!

As you read the Bible with the intention to understand God more, you may even receive the answers to the questions your heart longs for–both about God and about His purpose for you.

This week, I encourage you to invite God into every part of your life. Not just the discerning, big-decisions part. Not just the desperate, pleading part. But into the seemingly mundane, the simple joys and quiet whispers of the heart.

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord.

Jeremiah 29:13-14a (NIV)

21 Lessons I’ve Learned at Age 21

Reflecting on another year of life and what God’s taught me through it.

As today turns the chapter on another year of my life, here are a few pieces of wisdom God has provided me over the course of being 21.

Relationships

  • People cannot fill the God-spaced void in your heart.
  • Notice how the people in your circle treat others. Likely, you will eventually be treated by them the same way. If that fills you with joy, good! But if that concerns you, perhaps it’s time to reevaluate the relationship.
  • Being constantly flattered or charmed by someone often means they are masking their true intentions.

Identity

  • Being yourself can lead to rejection, but that allows only the people who truly care about you to stay.
  • It’s a crime to yourself and others to become a different person in every relationship. In an attempt to please everyone, you will be left exhausted, and end up pleasing no one.
  • Your identity will be made whole when it’s rooted in being loved by God.

Prayer

  • Pray constantly for pure motives and a teachable heart.
  • Coming to the Lord on your knees transforms you into a posture of surrender.
  • Ask the Lord to help you love Him back.

Writing

  • Consistency matters more than quality or quantity. The rest will follow when you make a commitment to write.
  • You will gain insight when you show your work to others.
  • Hold projects loosely, trusting the changes will bring your story to life in its best form.

Friendship

  • Not everyone is receptive to the truth. When they reject it, recognize they are not rejecting you, but something far greater.
  • A silent, faithful presence can leave a stronger impact than attempting to fix a loved one’s problems.
  • You should treat everyone with kindness and respect. But you do not have to be everyone’s friend.

Purpose

  • Closed doors are often God’s way of protecting you.
  • God is not withholding anything that is meant for you.
  • Our primary purpose is to be in relationship with God.

Life

  • Joyful seasons will end sooner when you allow worry to creep into your heart. Trust that God is with you on the mountaintops and in the valleys below.
  • Don’t waste energy on trying to convince others to understand you.
  • The tiny steps matter. You are making progress, and progress far outlasts our flawed definition of perfection.

As I step into being 22, I pray that God will continue to remind me that I’m only capable of loving others when I’m filled with His love. His Spirit will sustain me, no matter what I will face.

What is something God’s been teaching you this year?

Therefore Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.

John 10:7-11 (NIV)