Holy Spirit – Page 2 – The Will to Wake Up

God Cares for You

Last weekend when my plans fell through, God reminded me of His perfect plan. I hope my story encourages you today!

After a week riddled with disappointments and frustrations, I wanted nothing more than to enjoy our family road trip in peace.

The day started off as planned. We arrived at the ferry terminal just as the golden rays of sunrise flickered over the rippling ocean waves. During our first several hours on the island, we ate delicious pastries, caught stunning views of the mountains, and even coerced our little dog into going on a hike.

There were little hiccups along the way that threatened my joy, but I held fast to my resolve, even jotting down in my journal that “God’s plan is so much greater than mine.”

The enemy saw that as a challenge.

In the mid-afternoon, we decided we wanted to catch an earlier ferry since the one we had reserved would bring us home after midnight. We could even watch the sunset at a beach on the way home.

My favorite part of every trip is the sunset. It reminds me of God’s beauty and creativity, filling me with His presence and hope.

And boy, did I need some hope after the week I had.

We sat in line for the ferry for almost an hour before cars started their engines. Inch by inch, car by car, I prayed that we’d make it.

But then the cars started circling back. Our line never even got to move.

And the next ferry wasn’t due to arrive for another three hours.

The worst part was, we couldn’t leave the line now that we were already in it. So much for exploring the island, much less seeing the sunset.

I was devastated–much more so than what was probably warranted for the situation. My joy was hinged on this one moment with God, and now even that seemed taken away from me.

After shedding a few tears in the sweltering car, I trekked down to the docks by the terminal. There were many groups of fellow passengers stuck in the same boat. Or rather, wishing we were all on a boat.

Though this should’ve brought some consolation, I was filled with bitterness. Here I was, alone and miserable, while they were laughing and enjoying life together.

As the clock ticked and the ferry was nowhere in sight, my last smidgen of hope that I’d even see a glimpse of the sunset vanished. There were trees blocking my view on either side of the docks.

In truth, I was upset with God. I prayed for weeks that this trip would be meaningful, especially since I haven’t been able to travel in so long. This was supposed to be the highlight of summer, but instead it felt like the climax of a disappointing week.

But God kept nudging my heart. Be patient. Keep waiting. I’m still here.

The sun fully disappeared below the skyline by the time we made it on the ferry. Still, I snatched my camera bag and rushed to the upper deck just in case.

And sure enough, God was there.

In a brilliant display of deep oranges and blues, twilight fell upon the ocean as our ferry chugged away from shore. It was so incredibly beautiful, it took my breath away.

It wasn’t the sunset, but it was even more special. And somehow, it lasted for an entire hour–our whole ferry ride back–becoming even more magnificent with each passing minute. (Enjoy my snapshot of this view in the featured image!)

Many of my insecurities are rooted in the fear of missing out. I’ve often struggled with feeling like I’m not where I want to be at this stage of my life.

But God was reminding me, with a simple yet elegant night sky, that He cares for me. His plan is better than mine because He thinks in eternal terms, while I am stuck with my limited understanding.

And His perfect plan is worth waiting for.

So how can we wait without becoming idle or restless?

By praying that God prepares us for what’s to come. We are already living out His will for us, even on the days that feel mundane. As we grow in reliance on God, we will become more and more like Jesus, which is the ultimate goal of God’s plan.

It’s easy to forget who God is, and thus doubt that He knows what He’s doing. But God is perfect in every way, which means we can trust Him. He created us and loves us more than we’ll ever be able to comprehend.

My eyes will watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back to this land. I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them.

Jeremiah 24:6 (NIV)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

The Prodigal Character

What if our “problem characters” can actually point us–and our readers–to Christ?

“Not all who wander are lost.” ~ J.R.R Tolkien

If you’re a writer, you’ve likely encountered a “problem” character in your stories. The kind that just doesn’t want to do what you tell them to do. Perhaps you were hoping to redeem them in the end, but by the time you reach the last chapter, you’re so frustrated with them that you would rather drop their plot line all together.

Over the past year, I’ve been participating in a novel writing apprenticeship program, which has truly transformed how I understand stories, characters, and themes. For my first project, I wrote about a young woman overcoming her fear of change in order to save her family’s ice cream parlor.

Andie, my protagonist, wasn’t my problem character. Her best friend, Val, was.

In my program, we’re required to go through an extensive planning process before we can draft our story. Even in the initial stages, Val was often critiqued as being “too unhealthy” and “distracting from the main plot.” (A very fair analysis, I will admit.)

By the time I got to drafting, I thought Val was finally reined in as a side character. Until I reached Chapter 8, where it all fell apart.

Val was introduced at her birthday party, where she made a grand entrance in a flashy red gown before having the most passive aggressive conversation with her mom. It went something like:

Val shoots a look at her mom. “Wow, you really don’t know me at all, do you?”

“Valentina,” Mrs. Valores says, her voice never wavering. “What are you talking about?”

Val holds up a carton of almond mocha fudge ice cream. “You know I hate nuts. I can’t believe this. After that whole speech you gave about wanting me here–”

“Valentina, I can assure you that I didn’t order anything with nuts. I do know you, darling. And I want you here–”

“Oh really? So why are you still calling me ‘Valentina’ like we’re strangers, then?” Val demands.

She slams the carton back on the table. I wince, grateful it didn’t burst open.

The irony is that I didn’t know Val very well when I wrote her the first time. Or the second time. It wasn’t until I reread her lines a third time, frustrated beyond measure because she seemed beyond sympathetic, that I realized the issue.

I didn’t love Val.

You might think, “Of course you didn’t. Who would love this stuck-up, irritable character?”

But as her creator, it was my job to love her. The only way for her to be sympathetic to my readers was for me to love her first, and write out of that place instead of only seeing her in a negative light.

I had to ask myself, “How has Val become this way? Why do my other characters love her? What uniquely about her benefits this story and its themes?”

So back to the rewrites I went…and this time, Val transformed into a flawed, but lovable, character. In fact, when a friend read the most recent draft, she said that the plot line with Val was her favorite because it demonstrated the story’s faith themes the clearest. I was over the moon to hear that!

How often do we feel like a problem character in the eyes of our creator, God?

And how often do we view others as problem characters, beyond God’s power to heal and redeem?

When we are burdened with shame over our past mistakes, we may feel broken beyond repair. But that mindset neglects to recognize the power of Jesus’ work on the cross to save us from all our sins.

If God thought we were too broken to be worth saving, He never would’ve sent Jesus. He never would’ve let humanity grow beyond Adam and Eve, or saved Noah’s family when He wiped out the rest of humanity.

God offers us chance after chance to come home. And when we fall down at His feet, wearing filthy clothes with tears in our eyes, He reminds us that we are His precious creation. His sons and daughters.

Perhaps these “problem characters” that arise in our stories aren’t so problematic after all. Perhaps they are simply prodigals who will teach us the value of running back home to God rather than wallowing in our shame.

Perhaps they will even be the characters who point readers to Christ.

No matter what you’ve done or how far you’ve fallen, it’s not too late to ask God to be with you. He will always welcome you home.

Our stories of God transforming us day by day are a testament to His faithfulness. Your life story isn’t too messy for God to use to lead others to His love.

I’d encourage you to read the story of The Lost Son from the book of Luke and reflect on God’s deep love for you:

¹¹Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. ¹²The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

¹³“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. ¹⁴After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. ¹⁵So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

¹⁷“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ ²⁰So he got up and went to his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

²¹“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

²²“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

²⁵“Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. ²⁶So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ²⁷‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

²⁸“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. ²⁹But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. ³⁰But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

³¹“‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. ³²But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

Luke 15:11-31 (NIV)

Entering New Life with Scars

What if the painful moments in life reveal Jesus in your testimony?

Last weekend, I had the privilege of photographing a family friend’s wedding. Their ceremony was beautiful, with a simple elegance to it. This couple’s story is unique because both the bride and groom have gone through tremendous hardship before finding each other later in life.

They symbolized their new life by planting a tree during the ceremony, surrounded by their kids, before being prayed over. Through the way they authentically shared the painful road they took to the alter, their wedding wasn’t just about their relationship, but how God brought beauty from brokenness.

Words cannot describe the joy and delight that filled the sanctuary when the bride and groom kissed. New life felt tangible as hope hung in the air.

After witnessing this beautiful day, God has gently reminded me that our testimonies of His faithfulness are most meaningful and transformative when we are honest about the pain and heartbreak as well as the joys and victories.

Admitting that we’ve experienced loneliness, depression, or rejection doesn’t deny God’s holiness or love. Rather, it helps us recognize our need for Him.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

I love this verse because it provides such a joyful visual of what it’s like to accept Jesus into our lives. We are truly a new creation. God has saved us from death and brought us new life.

We are offered new life because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. He had to overcome death in order to give us the gift of life.

But consider how Jesus appears to His disciples after raising from the dead:

A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”

John 20:26-28 (NIV)

Even though Jesus was living in a resurrected body, He still had scars from His time on the cross. He didn’t deny the sacrifice it took to grant us life with Him. In fact, these scars were what helped Thomas identify Him as Jesus.

The scars remind us of the pain Jesus was willing to endure on our behalf because of His great love for us. Meanwhile, our scars reveal our weakness and need for a Savior.

The scars in our testimonies may be the moment that Jesus is revealed. The realization that we can’t save ourselves, but we are still given new life because we belong to the God who saves.

No matter what you have gone through, God can redeem your story and bless others by it. Don’t be afraid to share your testimony with others, but as you do so, ask God which pieces He wants you to tell. And in all things, glorify God as you recall His great love for you.

Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

Ephesians 6:19-20 (NIV)

Comforting Others in Truth

Do you ever struggle with knowing how to comfort a loved one authentically?

We’ve all faced that moment. Some of us dread it, others seek it out.

When a loved one’s eyes well up with tears as they share the heartbreak they are currently experiencing. You warmly embrace them in a hug, but once you pull away, the moment arrives. Your time to deliver words of comfort.

There are so many ways this moment can go wrong.

Oversharing about your own similar experiences, which puts the spotlight on you instead of your hurting friend. Blasting the person who hurt your friend, to the point where your words become malicious and gossipy. Boldly stating that your friend should just “tough it up.”

A few months ago, after hearing a friend share about her painful situation, I knew what the “right words” were. Words that affirmed her view of the situation. Words that promised a happily ever after.

I felt torn because I wanted her to feel God’s love through me, but I couldn’t be honest by comforting her with promises that weren’t mine to make. I didn’t know if there would be reconciliation. I didn’t know if what was lost would be restored.

In the end, I wasn’t as encouraging as I could’ve been and my friend expressed disappointment in our conversation.

I’m glad I didn’t go against my convictions and spoke fluffy words to her. But this situation made me realize I needed to go back to the Bible to learn how God wants me to comfort others in the future.

I’ve been reading through the book of Zechariah, one of the minor prophets in the Old Testament, and this morning I came across this verse:

The idols speak deceitfully, diviners see visions that lie; they tell dreams that are false, they give comfort in vain. Therefore the people wander like sheep oppressed for lack of a shepherd.

Zechariah 10:2 (NIV)

We are in a culture so focused on affirming ourselves that encouragement and comfort lose their strength and meaning. By inherently being broken people, we won’t find hope within ourselves. We will break promises to each other. Our limited vision prevents us from seeing the future.

So how can we encourage and comfort others in a way that is truthful and meaningful? By reminding them of the promises God–who is always faithful–has already made.

Later on in the same chapter, God makes this promise to His people:

I will strengthen Judah and save the tribes of Joseph. I will restore them because I have compassion on them. They will be as though I had not rejected them, for I am the Lord their God and I will answer them.

Zechariah 10:6 (NIV)

Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross allows all believers to be God’s children and receive His promises. These aren’t empty promises rooted in our flawed selves. These are everlasting promises overflowing with God’s mercy and love.

The next time you are comforting someone, consider referring to this verse, or another verse where God promises His people that He will never abandon them. You may even say something like this:

I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I cannot even comprehend the pain you are experiencing. But God knows exactly what you are going through and He promises to give you His strength when you turn to Him.

Healing takes time, but God is with you and will restore you, even if things don’t look exactly the way you hope. He has compassion on you because He loves you as His child. When you call out to Him, He will answer you.

Could I pray for you?

These words are imperfect, but a starting point. I know that I will likely miss an opportunity to comfort someone again in the future. But when we are willing and open to being led by the Spirit, God will show us who He wants us to comfort, and He will provide us with the words to encourage them.

Pray today to ask God to comfort and strengthen you, and then direct you to someone to comfort with His love.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)

Love Unconditional

Jesus has already done the work to allow us to experience God’s love.

I love my dog, Rocky. He’s 13 pounds of pure fluff and sass. But he’s also incredibly fickle.

We have a running joke in my family about who is Rocky’s favorite family member. Sometimes, we even compete with each other over the title by giving him extra treats or tummy rubs or walks. Rocky gravitates toward whichever family member will give him what he wants.

By the end of the day, Rocky’s favorite family member has changed at least a dozen times, depending on what we do for him and whether he feels cuddly or playful or in need of some serious alone time.

I am so incredibly grateful that God is not fickle.

Imagine if we all tried to get God to choose us as His favorite child!

Oh wait–we actually do that sometimes, don’t we?

When we try to earn God’s affection through good works, generosity, and even self-righteousness, it comes out of a place of insecurity. We’re worried that we won’t be chosen by Him–or loved by Him–if we don’t do enough to get His attention. If we aren’t better than our neighbor.

Even still, God is faithful.

His love isn’t dependent on what we do or even how we identify ourselves. Our heavenly Father has already given us the best identity imaginable: beloved by Him.

When we do good deeds out of fear that God won’t love us otherwise, we are acting out of selfishness rather than love. But when we are spurred on to bless others by remembering the work Jesus already did on the cross–the ultimate act of love–we have the power to shine God’s light on earth.

As broken people, we may never fully comprehend God’s love for us until we are face-to-face with Him. It’s beyond our understanding. It’s unconditional.

But I pray that each day you will experience an extra layer of God’s love, and that you will be transformed by His love to become the person He created you to be.

God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

1 Corinthians 1:9 (NIV)

Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, ¹⁰so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, ¹¹filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

Philippians 1:6, 9-11 (NIV)

But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, ⁵to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. ⁶Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” ⁷So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.

Galatians 4:4-7 (NIV)

Interviewing God

How do you approach God in prayer?

Imagine you’re a reporter, sitting down at a café with a steaming cup of coffee (or hot chocolate or tea, if you’re like me) and a flakey croissant. You tap your pen against the table, stealing glances over your shoulder toward the front door.

I wonder what He looks like, you think. Is He as big as they say? Will His brilliant light blind me?

God shows up–bigger, brighter, and better than you dreamed. He’s smiling when He sees you, His precious creation.

When we pray, we don’t often treat it like sitting down with God for coffee and having a friendly chat. Often, our prayer lives begin with a laundry list of requests, sometimes with complaints sprinkled in or even the occasional praise.

It shows maturity in faith to ask God questions during our time with Him.

But often, those questions are something like:

What do you want me to do in ____ situation?
Can you give me the strength to have patience with ____ person?
What is your plan for my life?

Those questions are certainly welcomed by God, as they help us surrender to His will. But they are still centered on us. On what we want from God–wisdom, discernment, clarity, answers.

What if, in addition to these sorts of questions, we asked God to reveal His character to us?

Let’s return to our earlier scene. You’re meeting with God, as you would any other person you want to learn more about. What sorts of questions would you ask Him?

If I were interviewing God, here are a few questions I might ask:

What inspired your creation of dogs?
Can you feel different temperatures?
What sorts of colors do you have in Heaven that we don’t have?

You may have a long history with God. That’s wonderful! But every relationship, including our relationships with other people, grow stale when we lose curiosity about one another.

Is there one person in your life who you can never spend too much time with? Perhaps they are your best friend or spouse or an important relative in your life.

Even though you know them intimately, there are still new things you’d like to know about them. You care about their opinion on issues and world events. You desire to know how they feel. You can never get enough of them.

What sorts of questions might you ask God if He were your best friend?

You may not find out what inspired God’s creation of giraffes or what His favorite color is, but perhaps you will get a deeper sense of who He is, which is what really matters.

Partner your time in prayer with reading God’s Word. If there was a book written about your best friend, you’d certainly want to read it!

As you read the Bible with the intention to understand God more, you may even receive the answers to the questions your heart longs for–both about God and about His purpose for you.

This week, I encourage you to invite God into every part of your life. Not just the discerning, big-decisions part. Not just the desperate, pleading part. But into the seemingly mundane, the simple joys and quiet whispers of the heart.

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord.

Jeremiah 29:13-14a (NIV)

21 Lessons I’ve Learned at Age 21

Reflecting on another year of life and what God’s taught me through it.

As today turns the chapter on another year of my life, here are a few pieces of wisdom God has provided me over the course of being 21.

Relationships

People cannot fill the God-spaced void in your heart.
Notice how the people in your circle treat others. Likely, you will eventually be treated by them the same way. If that fills you with joy, good! But if that concerns you, perhaps it’s time to reevaluate the relationship.
Being constantly flattered or charmed by someone often means they are masking their true intentions.

Identity

Being yourself can lead to rejection, but that allows only the people who truly care about you to stay.
It’s a crime to yourself and others to become a different person in every relationship. In an attempt to please everyone, you will be left exhausted, and end up pleasing no one.
Your identity will be made whole when it’s rooted in being loved by God.

Prayer

Pray constantly for pure motives and a teachable heart.
Coming to the Lord on your knees transforms you into a posture of surrender.
Ask the Lord to help you love Him back.

Writing

Consistency matters more than quality or quantity. The rest will follow when you make a commitment to write.
You will gain insight when you show your work to others.
Hold projects loosely, trusting the changes will bring your story to life in its best form.

Friendship

Not everyone is receptive to the truth. When they reject it, recognize they are not rejecting you, but something far greater.
A silent, faithful presence can leave a stronger impact than attempting to fix a loved one’s problems.
You should treat everyone with kindness and respect. But you do not have to be everyone’s friend.

Purpose

Closed doors are often God’s way of protecting you.
God is not withholding anything that is meant for you.
Our primary purpose is to be in relationship with God.

Life

Joyful seasons will end sooner when you allow worry to creep into your heart. Trust that God is with you on the mountaintops and in the valleys below.
Don’t waste energy on trying to convince others to understand you.
The tiny steps matter. You are making progress, and progress far outlasts our flawed definition of perfection.

As I step into being 22, I pray that God will continue to remind me that I’m only capable of loving others when I’m filled with His love. His Spirit will sustain me, no matter what I will face.

What is something God’s been teaching you this year?

Therefore Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them.I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.

John 10:7-11 (NIV)

Is God Still Using Me?

A reflection on my journey from stepping back from corporate ministry to finding peace and purpose in serving God with purer motives.

My greatest realization after stepping back from corporate ministry was uncovering the unhealthy motives for why I served.

As a teen, I felt invisible at church. I struggled to belong at youth group, I was scared to participate in mission trips, and it felt like the only way to be part of the community was to serve.

Then I started my official ministry position during a very vulnerable period of my life when it seemed like everything else was falling apart. I sought a sense of purpose, and the church was more than happy to make me useful. Watching the number of students grow and receiving praise for my spiritual gifts was addicting…and exhausting because deep down, I knew that wasn’t what church was supposed to be about.

Through my position as Children’s Ministry Resident, I served multiple times a week, developed curriculum, spoke regularly in front of my congregation–and if there was anything going on at church, I was there.

I didn’t only serve for selfish or insecure reasons. I deeply cared about the congregation, especially the kids, and I believe God called me to that position for a season.

But after burning out, I started listening to God’s nudge for me to leave that church and explore new pastures with Him. Upon coming home from my last day of work, I was overwhelmed with peace. The lyrics to the worship song, “I Surrender,” flowed from my heart.

Yet it took months to truly transition out of my old mindset, a mindset so fixated on producing quality programs and pleasing the congregants that I put my personal relationship with God on the back-burner.

The phrase, “it was the difference between night and day,” understates what transitioning from being on church leadership to being a regular congregant felt like. One minute, everybody knew my name and expected so much of me. The next, I was wandering into different churches and leaving without a trace.

I kept pushing away the fear (rather than bringing it to God), “Does anyone still need me anymore? Do I have a place in ministry without working for a church?”

After a couple months of searching, I landed on a new church, ironically three minutes away from my house. There were two things that confirmed God wanted me to be there: I felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me through the sermons, and they sang “I Surrender” my first time worshipping with them.

Surrendering my work duties wasn’t hard–it was honestly a relief. At last, I could actually pay attention during service instead of running around meeting everybody’s needs.

But surrendering my pride and my desire to feel needed? That required much more faith and humility.

When observing how this new church operated, I certainly had moments of thinking, “If I were in charge, I’d do this differently,” and “Ouch, they still don’t remember my name?”.

God didn’t allow my pride or past pain prevent me from growing. Stepping back to rest and focus on how God wanted to refine me was crucial in preparing me for the challenges and opportunities to come.

Over the past year and a half, God’s placed me in situations that have required tremendous faith. I wouldn’t have been able to trust in Him this deeply–and cry out to Him for help when I struggle to trust–had I not spent this time growing in my understanding of God’s character and dwelling in His presence.

Resting in God doesn’t mean we can’t serve at all. Participating in the body of Christ by sharing our gifts is a valuable part of the Christian walk. But we can’t serve well if we are relying on our own strength and motivated by anything other than a love and appreciation for God and His people.

Our heart motives change when we realize that:

We aren’t needed by God, but we are wanted by Him. Not wanted in the way a child begs for a new toy that they’ll forget about in seconds, but deeply desired, as one might long for their significant other.
We are not capable on our own. The success of our ministry stems from our reliance on God.
Rest is an act of worship…and faith. When we take the time to rest, we are admitting we cannot do anything on our own strength and we need to be empowered by the Holy Spirit.
Just because God isn’t using you in the same way He did before doesn’t mean He isn’t using you at all. When you surrender your life to Him, there will always be opportunities for ministry, perhaps in more organic ways.

This past school year, God’s guided me toward getting more involved in my new church by teaching children again and serving in other background roles, all with much better boundaries. And you know what? I don’t miss having congregants come up to praise my public speaking skills or seeing my name on the wall of leaders.

By not investing as much time in church-specific ministries, I’ve also had more capacity to invest in the lives of my friends and Bible study partners, pray intentionally for them, and reflect on how I can grow in my relationships.

There might be a season where God calls me to serve in a larger capacity in corporate ministry again, but for now, I have peace trusting that God will use me wherever I’m at. No ministry is too small to be used by Him to do amazing things.

If you are doubting your purpose or value, remember who you are in Christ:

The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. ¹⁷Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Romans 8:16-17 (NIV)

“Though the mountains be shaken
    and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
    nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
    says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

Isaiah 54:10 (NIV)

Our purpose? To be God’s daughter or son.

Our value? Immeasurable. We are worth everything to God, who loved us enough to send His son to die for us so that we may have everlasting life with Him.

Trust that God loves you so much that He has a perfect plan for you. ❤

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

An Ink-Stained Journey

Learning to trust God through the process of becoming an author.

I was scared to pursue becoming an author. Don’t get me wrong; I absolutely love writing. Feeling inspired to create is one of my favorite ways to connect with God.

But when I entered high school, I worried that my passion for writing wasn’t enough. Writing is a competitive business, and it would require both confidence in my skills and humility to take rejection in order to succeed. And most importantly, immense faith in God’s calling.

So I explored other viable career paths–only to hit dead ends. When it was time to choose a university, only one of my options had a creative writing program. As I prayed over my decision, I knew God wanted me to pursue writing. While the thought of becoming a professional writer gave me joy, I soon realized God led me to the decision that required the greatest amount of faith.

Then this choice was posed to me again after I graduated. Even with the awareness of the costs and challenges to come, I chose to continue pursuing writing with the desire to witness God reveal more of His purposes for me.

Over the last six months, I’ve been growing as a writer through participating in a faith-based writing and business program called The Author Conservatory. Through this program, I’ve received mentorship from Christian writers, encouragement and feedback from my peers (fellow aspiring authors), and entrepreneurship training.

The Author Conservatory focuses on building the foundational components of a story so that we can approach both simple and complex topics with grace, respect, and wisdom. One challenge with this has been learning how to plot out the main details of a story rather than beginning the process by drafting. (For my fellow writers out there, I’m more of a pantser! But plotting is growing on me…)

Each novel undergoes four stages of planning: Concept, Character Arc, Synopsis, and Outline. And within those stages are weeks of revising, brainstorming, and rewriting. By the time we’re allowed to draft, it feels like such a reward!

Another aspect that has required humility is receiving an abundance of feedback, particularly from industry professionals, and needing to make changes–sometimes drastic ones–in response to it. But accepting constructive criticism has transformed my work and my perspective.

While the process may feel slow at times, every rewrite, every training, and every bit of new insight draws us closer to becoming professional writers.

Though choosing to pursue writing has come with sacrifices and challenges, I am so thankful God led me to Author. As a writer, I feel like I’ve grown more in the last 6 months than I would’ve in 6 years on my own. This community has encouraged me to dedicate my writing–both fiction and non-fiction–to God, and invite Him into the process.

Perhaps you’re finding yourself in a situation where you aren’t sure what the next step should be. Consider bringing your options to God in prayer and seeking His direction.

Every decision comes with costs–but also blessings. The most blessed path, even if it requires patience and sacrifice, is the one in which God is leading you.

In fact, making sacrifices for something shows commitment to it. Sometimes the blessing that comes with sacrifice is recognizing how much you love something–or someone.

I used to be scared of making choices that would disrupt God’s plans for me. But none of us have the power to thwart God’s plans for us. We may take some detours along the way, but we will always end up exactly where He wants us to be. The smoothest way to get there (even if the road appears bumpy) is listening for His voice with each next step.

And often God’s path is lined with unexpected blessings: godly friendships, opportunities to trust Him deeper, patches of peace. Even laughter is a gift from God.

Celebrate the ways God has blessed the journey you’re on. Ask Him to meet you in the moments that feel difficult and discouraging. And trust that He is leading you to trust in Him more deeply with each passing season.

Then Job replied to the Lord:

“I know that you can do all things;
no purpose of yours can be thwarted.”

Job 42:1-2 (NIV)

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. ²⁷And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

²⁸And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:26-28 (NIV)

God Knows What’s Best for You

Do you trust Him when His plans don’t align with yours?

Who can fathom the Spirit* of the Lord,
or instruct the Lord as his counselor?

Isaiah 40:13 (NIV)

Let’s be honest here: raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to tell God what to do.

I know my hand is raised. (Well, metaphorically–I’m using both hands to type!)

When we’re experiencing a difficult situation or struggling to reconcile with a frustrating person, it’s easy to go to God in prayer and request that He fix our problems using our methods.

But who are we to instruct God?

Telling God how to solve our problems insinuates that we know better than God, the one who created us, who redeems and restores us, and who is perfect.

Wouldn’t you rather receive the perfect solution of the one who loves you unconditionally and knows everything, than the solution you’ve concocted through limited understanding?

Before I continue, I need to make it clear that God loves hearing from you, broken prayers included. Our earthly prayers will never be perfect because we are all broken people, and that’s okay. The Holy Spirit translates our prayers to our heavenly Father so that He knows what we need.

And even though we will never grasp the fullness of God while on earth–that would literally blow our minds!–there is hope that the longer we walk with Him, the more we may notice God working.

Paul references our intro verse, Isaiah 40:13, in a letter to the church of Corinth:

The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, ¹⁶for,

“Who has known the mind of the Lord
so as to instruct him?”**

But we have the mind of Christ.

1 Corinthians 2:15-16

We can have hope that because God’s Spirit dwells in us, we may begin to understand how God works the longer we know Him.

This does not mean we can manipulate Him or guess His every next move. Rather, when we value what God values–which drastically differs from earthly values–we will have peace even when our plans fail because we trust that God’s plans are far better.

But what does trusting God’s plan look like on a day-to-day basis?

It might mean not comparing yourself to a friend who has a higher paying job than you, because you trust that God will meet all your needs.

Or perhaps it means finding joy in your singleness while you wait on God to provide the right person for you, having peace that you are never alone.

Maybe it’s even extending grace to someone who has hurt you because you recognize how much grace you’ve already received through the sacrifice of Jesus for your sins.

Lately, God’s been challenging me to trust Him through my job search process. I crave the security that having another job would provide, but God’s been nudging me to remember that He has and will always meet all my needs. The only job worth pursuing is the one He has called me to pursue…even if it takes experiencing multiple rejections to get there.

How is God calling you to trust Him today?

Remember that God is faithful, even when He might feel far away or situations seem too big for Him to handle. Everything will come together according to His wonderful plans and purposes for us.

In the waiting, God promises His love and peace, which will never fade away. ❤

God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

1 Corinthians 1:9

God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, ²⁹so that no one may boast before him. ³⁰It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.

1 Corinthians 1:28-30

The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom.
²⁹He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
³¹but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

Footnotes:

*or “mind”

**reference to Isaiah 40:13

All Scripture is in NIV.