Tag: Hardship

Don’t Be a Mean Enemy

Why should we listen to Jesus’ commandment to love our enemies?

It’s easy to be nice to people who are nice to us.

But every enemy was once a friend, or at least in a proximity close enough to you to have hurt on either side from the falling out.

I’m sure you’ve seen this most often when a couple breaks up and starts posting nasty things about each other online. Soon, you begin to wonder what they even saw in each other in the first place! Or when two close friends or family members break ties, then it’s as though you can’t speak of them again.

So what happens when it isn’t so easy to be nice anymore?

Our culture would tell us to get them back or, at the very least, snub them. They need to PAY for what they did!

But I’d like to offer a new piece of advice, or really a not-so-new piece of advice that Jesus first gave that goes against our human nature.

Let’s love our enemies and pray for those who hurt us (Matthew 5:43-44).

But why? Why should we listen to such a hard commandment?

Here are a few reasons that help me when I struggle (which is often) with being kind to difficult (and even hurtful) people in my life.

We don’t know what’s going on for real.

When we are angry at someone, it’s easy to assume the worst. But the truth is, a lot of times falling outs or unkind words aren’t really about us. They are about something else that is fogging up the other person’s vision that could be hurting them or making them lash out. This isn’t an excuse for mean behavior, but it does remind us to extend them grace.

We may have a part to play in the situation.

Now, this certainly isn’t to victim blame. There are many times when we are hurt by someone who is trying to execute power over us and it isn’t our fault when we are wounded by them.

This advice is for when you don’t want to take responsibility for a difficult relationship even though you may not have been the easiest person either. We enjoy blaming others when we know deep down that there’s something in us that needs fixing too.

But the best path to healing is forgiveness. Having enough grace and humility to admit our mistakes and not let them define us, and also extending that mercy to others.

We have been forgiven for far more than we could ever forgive someone else.

It’s important to remember who is telling us to love our enemies: Jesus. Every time we sin, we hurt Jesus, acting like an enemy to Him.

But Jesus loves us anyway and paid the ultimate price to be in relationship with us. He knows what it’s like to forgive something so painful, a true betrayal, and still love anyway.

Whenever we get the chance to forgive someone, it’s an opportunity to grow closer to Jesus and feel grateful for His sacrifice.

We look rather ridiculous holding a grudge.

Sorry to be direct, but it’s true, isn’t it? We all roll our eyes when someone goes on and on about their issues with someone, and yet we are just as inclined to act the same way. I know I have, and likely will again in the future.

But there’s always time for a fresh start. Even just the effort of being more considerate with your words and actions towards someone you don’t like will make it harder to be unkind to them in the future. Allow yourself to process the pain and anger without acting in impulse.

Then you’ll never have a regret, and you just might find yourself with a friend again 🙂

But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

Luke 6:27-28

Where is God Now?

Are you having a tough time trusting God? Here’s some encouragement.

Have you felt like God isn’t there for you?

Have you been doubting your faith lately?

Pause. And ask the simple question of “why?”

Is it because you really believed that God was going to do something for you because you prayed about it and you felt like God was leading you to a certain thing/job/person, but it didn’t work out?

I’ve been there before, friend, and it’s hard. It’s especially hard when that second part comes into play, where we really believe that God is leading us to something or someone, and yet it doesn’t work out. Or at least, it doesn’t work out the way we wanted it to. That’s the key, isn’t it?

I’m here to tell you something that’s hopefully encouraging. Just because something doesn’t go the way you wanted it to or even believed it would, doesn’t mean that God wasn’t leading you to go there or be a part of that person’s life. It just means that God is telling us to wait, because something better is in store if we don’t make rash decisions based on our emotions.

I know that’s difficult. That word, patience, has been resurfacing in my life time and time again over the past two years. But last night, I was reminded of something vital. We may not realize the journey that God is currently having us on until after it’s over. Right now, you may be struggling. Or, you may be just in a season of mundane, unsure of what God wants to do with you. Both are difficult, but God uses every situation, person, and season of our lives for His divine purpose.

I was studying the voyage of the Israelites yesterday with a small group of people, and one woman remarked, “I don’t know what God was doing by making them circle back around and take such a complicated route, especially because of course God could bring them straight to the Promise Land if He wanted to, but I do know that it happened the way it did for a reason because God was leading them.”

If you need a refresher, the Israelites had been freed from slavery and were on a 40-year journey through the wilderness. If anyone got impatient with God, it would make sense for them to have, huh? We get annoyed by waiting a few months, or possibly years, but I’ll bet that most of us haven’t been waiting on God for a specific thing for almost half a century.

You may wonder why God seemed to have abandoned them. But here’s the thing, it wasn’t God who abandoned them. It was the Israelites who abandoned God.

God was faithfully providing for them each day, with food and guiding them in the form of a pillar of smoke. (Wouldn’t it be nice if God led us around with a pillar of smoke today? Decision making would be so easy!) And of course, it was thanks to God that they got out of slavery in the first place, because of the plagues God inflicted on the Egyptians for treating human beings so horribly.

However, when the Israelites got to the Promised Land, they doubted that they would be able to defeat the current people group there and they didn’t believe that God would provide for them, despite all He had done for them in the past.

That’s why God allowed them to wander around for so long. Not because He wanted them to suffer, but because He wanted to teach them to trust Him.

Ouch, I don’t know about you, but I’ve been there before. In that space of waiting, in that time where God wanted me to only focus on Him. Looking back, I was definitely in one journey of my life during my sophomore year of high school. God took away all my distractions– I was struggling in school, I lost a good portion of my friends, and I was struggling with my mental health. I was so confused as to why all these things were happening to me. But looking back, God was preparing me for something greater. God was using that time to draw me closer to Him, through prayer, mentors, and journaling. Then, I hit a major turning point in my life.

I was going through a confirmation program at my church and it was the Saturday before Confirmation Sunday. I was a new driver, and I misjudged a turn, causing me to be in a serious car accident.

In some ways, this would’ve been the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak. But God refocused me, and instead of causing me to look at the situation as just one more wrong thing happening in my life, God used this event to strengthen my testimony. I was able to share a testimony the next day that was reflective of God bringing me through the storm, and then reminding me to trust Him, and finally bringing me to a stable place once more.

I have to constantly remind myself of that journey as I now venture through a new one, yet another season of waiting and figuring out how God wants to use me in the future. God eventually led me to the right people, gave me the motivation to improve my grades, and provided mentors in my life to help me work through my personal difficulties (although we all can struggle sometimes, and that’s okay, as long as we don’t just stay “stuck” and we do what we know will help us find peace and restore our minds).

Last night, I was in a conversation with my mom, and she actually said something quite profound. We were discussing some people in my life who I’ve been worried about recently because I’m afraid that they are making decisions that will hurt them in the future. My mom said, “A lot of times in life, we grow impatient. But if we had just waited, then God would’ve given us something better.”

That really got me thinking. What if today, instead of doing something impulsive, we pray? What if we reach out to someone who is a healthy influence in our lives when we are feeling weak instead of turning to someone or something that hurts us? What if we pray for peace of mind instead of an immediate outcome?

Today, think back to a past journey in your life. How has God shown you that He is the One in control and that He’s got this?

Keep listening to God, no matter what. If you do as God leads, no matter the outcome, it was what you were meant to do. And maybe someday it will all make sense. We have something even better than the pillar of smoke. We have the Holy Spirit–God– inside of us, helping us make wise choices each and every day! We are not going through our journeys alone.

God loves you so much and He has an amazing plan for you. We’ve just got to wait and make the most of the season that we are in.

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31