Tag: Grief

Holy Week Series: When Jesus “Lets Us Down”

Beginning our Holy Week series, we will start off with asking the question, “How do we react when Jesus ‘lets us down’?”
Advice for your faith journey!

Last year, I posted several days leading up to Easter, and that really brought me closer to God, as well as it hopefully helped you all get prepared for our celebration of the biggest event in history! So I thought I’d do it again this year!

Starting off this year’s series, we’re going to talk about everyone’s least favorite person–Judas. Now, I know you might think you’ve got him figured out. He’s a greedy, scumbag sort of dude, right? That’s it, his story’s over, moving on to someone better…

But actually, he’s deeper than that and we owe it to ourselves to learn everything we can from the story of Jesus’ death and resurrection.

When I first read the Easter story in the Bible, I hated Judas. I think we all have some right to. After all, he did betray Jesus. He’s the one we all blame since he’s the one who saw all the miracles Jesus did, heard all the teachings, felt all the love…and yet still handed Him over to be brutally killed.

I used to think Judas did these things for a few silver coins, all out of greed. But actually, there’s a deeper reason behind Judas’ actions. He strongly opposed the Roman government, which many Jews at that time did, since the Romans took away their freedom and taxed them heavily, among other things. Many Jews expected the king God was sending down to be the new ruler who would overthrow the Roman Empire. Of course, we all know Jesus didn’t do that and instead had a much bigger plan. But this is what upset Judas and many others who shouted “Crucify Him” just a week after praising Jesus in Jerusalem.

Essentially, Judas betrayed Jesus because Jesus let him down. Jesus didn’t have the same plan as Judas, and instead of waiting to see what Jesus would do instead, Judas decided to get as much as he could out of Jesus and be done with Him.

How many times have we treated Jesus as some vending machine? We ask, beg and plead, and once He doesn’t give us what we demand, we stop worshiping Him. I’ve heard so many stories of how people stopped believing in Jesus once something tragic happened in their lives. Maybe a loved one died, a job was lost, or a new leader came into power who goes against their beliefs. How could God let this happen?

I don’t want to minimize your feelings of pain, grief, and disappointment. Crying, needing space, having doubts…that’s all normal and natural and does not deny your faith. The issues come when you abandon your relationship with God after your plans are altered. I want you to step back for a moment and think about all you might be missing out on by being stuck in your disappointment towards God “not coming through for you” instead of focusing on the bigger plan God has in store. God is the only One who knows everything and when you place your life in His hands, you will never be disappointed because you know that even if things don’t go according to your plan, God’s plan is greater and better than what we can imagine.

Now, maybe you’re feeling convicted of a past sin or with the realization that you have abandoned Jesus. Maybe you think it’s too late.

Well, I have some important news for you.

It’s never too late.

Jesus is waiting with open arms. Even when Judas came to the garden with the soldiers to arrest Jesus, He still called Judas “friend”. He still loved Judas even when He knew the evil Judas was doing. But when Judas felt guilty, he didn’t turn to Jesus. Instead, he allowed his guilt and shame to take over and he refused Jesus’ gift of salvation and forgiveness.

But your story doesn’t have to end that way. No, your story is going to be something bigger, better, and more beautiful. Your story already is beautiful because God is writing your story.

Today, think about whether or not you have abandoned Jesus. Remember how much He loves you. Remember how He’s provided for you all along. And most of all, thank Him for His extraordinary gift of unconditional love.

While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people. 48 Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.” 49 Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him.50 Jesus replied, “Do what you came for, friend.”

Matthew 26:47-50

When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. 4 “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.”

Matthew 27:3-4

The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.

1 Timothy 1:15

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

Enduring Pain

If you feel stuck, trying to figure out if there is any good that can come from your pain, keep reading.

A random skill that most people wouldn’t know I have is being a pretty good back massager. You heard me right…and you’re probably wondering why you’re still reading!

Well, I’ll get to the point…soon. You know how we Nines love our stories 😉

My mom used to tell people that she had a daughter simply to get free back massages, and a small part of me occasionally wonders if that’s true considering the frequency at which she requests them. As humans age, as you may know from experience, they often experience muscle stiffness. Tonight I was helping my mom get a knot out of her back, and after the allotted time I had agreed to perform this service was up, I asked if she wanted me to continue. She laughed and replied, “I would like that, but I don’t think I can endure the pain.”

This part may not surprise you, if you know me at all. After she said that, I suddenly knew I had to blog. Not about muscles, weird skills, or getting old. But rather, about pain.

About a year ago, one of my first posts was about pain and how many people often use numbing mechanisms to avoid it. Little did I know that throughout this past year, I’ve struggled with dealing with my pain and negative emotions. I often choose to not feel things, but then that includes the positive, happy memories as well.

I think avoiding pain can be one of our biggest mistakes in life. The longer we avoid the pain, the longer we avoid the good that can come out of that pain. God does not take us through difficult seasons without a reason. He knows that there’s something better at the end, but we just have to persevere. And sometimes that means trying something again that may have previously hurt us.

Now, I’m not telling you to go and let people walk all over you. I don’t want you to get into a dangerous situation or go backwards on a process towards good health. But if God is calling you to try something again, whether it’s a relationship, a career, a hobby, or perhaps even just diving back in your Bible, then you should go for it.

We love making excuses as to why we can’t possibly embrace our pain. We tell ourselves that we can’t endure it. And we’re right, we can’t.

At least, we can’t alone.

But God is always with us and He will give us the strength to get through anything.

I’ve seen so many people go through things I could never imagine going through with such bravery. They continue to live for God, they continue to go about their daily lives, and they will still be heroes, such strong people, in my eyes when they admit their pain and sorrow.

Don’t allow fear of people’s reactions to affect how you grieve, whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or a forgotten dream. The ones who are meant to be in your life and really care about you will give you the space to feel what you need to feel.

I know it’s hard trying again. I know it’s hard doing what God calls us to do. I’m not going to sit here and expect you to suddenly change your life or do things that risk heartbreak alone. I’m going to try to get out of my comfort zone and figure out my emotions as well, in a healthy way.

I know that we can both get through whatever life throws at us because we are empowered by our Creator. God loves us and designed us to need Him, and when we turn to Him, we will overflow with His grace, courage, and perseverance.

I’ll be praying for you. Don’t give up. ❤

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

James 1:2

Admit What You Need

Admit it when you need help in order to build better relationships– both with God and with loved ones.

A lot of times I hide how I feel or what I need because I don’t want to bother others. At least, that’s what I often tell myself when justifying not reaching out.

But another major reason why I’m hesitant to reach out to people with my desires is because I don’t want to admit that I’m weak, insufficient, and not completely capable of everything. I don’t want to crush this false illusion in my mind that I’ve somehow proven to others that I am basically inhuman in my abilities to be self-sufficient.

This only hurts my relationships with others, and this mindset of not wanting to be vulnerable hurts our relationship with God too.

Let’s be honest, some people truly don’t want to see our less-than-perfect side. They only want us when we can help them.

But God isn’t like that. Not one little bit.

He wants our ENTIRE heart. He wants the brokenness because only He can make it beautiful. He wants to comfort us. He wants to sustain us. He wants to give us strength.

But He isn’t going to arrive uninvited. We have to let Him in if we want His help.

The same goes for people. If we act like nothing is wrong, then people will assume we are fine. We need to be willing to be human in order to get the help that we need. We have to be vulnerable in order for others to feel truly comfortable with us.

Not only does this help us, but it strengthens our relationships, both with people and with God.

We show God that we are willing to allow Him to use all the areas of our life, including the things we’d rather leave unexposed.

So today, allow the people who really care about you into your life, both the good and bad. Tell them if you need something, and be willing to let them be vulnerable with you too.

In addition, think about the areas of your life where you’ve held back from showing your true self to God. Ask Him to show you the areas where you need to let go and allow Him to take over. God will help you through any struggle you are going through, as long as you let Him in.

More than anything, remember that you are never a burden. You don’t have to always be strong. Allow yourself to be immersed in the love and comfort that God and your loved ones want to give you.

You are enough.

For he has not despised or scorned

    the suffering of the afflicted one;

he has not hidden his face from him

    but has listened to his cry for help.

Psalm 22:24