How Self-Control Can Change Our Relationships

Do you need to see humanity in a new light? Here’s some encouragement.

            While listening to First, by Lauren Daigle, I made the mistake of scrolling through the comments. Sometimes I come across an inspirational story or a timely Bible verse this way. The first comment was made by a young fan who compared Lauren Daigle to a pop singer, saying that Lauren Daigle was the better version because she’s a gospel singer. The way the fan expressed her appreciation for Lauren Daigle was sweet and not demeaning in the least. However, in the responses to this comment, there is a very lengthy disagreement that started out somewhat innocent and ended up being long, hurtful paragraphs against each other. As I got caught up in reading their argument, the song suddenly ended, and I hadn’t really heard any of it. I minimized the comments, replayed the song, and realized I needed to blog about this.

            Both of those people missed opportunities to show God’s love to others. One used verses to condemn; another claimed that love was the only thing that mattered, yet nothing else they said was loving. Hypocrisy is a huge turn-off for unbelievers, and for good reason. When we don’t follow through with what we claim to believe, then what’s the incentive for others to want what we have: faith?

            When we get obsessed about the little things, the inconveniences of life, we miss out on the beauty of it. More importantly, when we let worldly things get to us, like an insensitive person or even a confused one, we miss out on being good witnesses for Jesus. We lose sight of what’s really important. I am legitimately terrified that Internet arguments are going to be the biggest factor in deterring people from Jesus in this generation. They may already be.

            I read an essay the other day talking about how people turn into wild animals when behind the wheel. They spew out language they never would utter under normal circumstances, but when road rage captures them…oh boy…

            Screens have the same effect as a windshield. We feel protected, hidden. We don’t even know the people on the other side of the screen, yet we feel free to call them hurtful names and assume they are monsters. But guess what? At the end of the day, we are all still human. We all have those moments of setting down our phone, crying over something a stranger on the Internet said. We are real, and so are they.

            Self-control is so underrated these days. We want to have control over other people, but guess what, we don’t. The only one we have control over is ourselves. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, one of the key factors in people knowing we’re living for Jesus.

            Self-control isn’t just being patient or understanding. Self-control is refraining from arguing with a stranger on social media. It’s not sharing that insensitive post that made you laugh. It’s taking the time to think before clicking send or responding to others in person. It’s allowing Jesus to take control, really.

            If you want to see humanity in a new, better light, then exercise self-control. Listen to others. Put yourself in their shoes. Allow your eyes to be washed clean and restored. When a blind man asked Jesus for healing, instead of snapping His fingers and saying, “You can see now”, He made a paste using spit and mud and put that on the man’s eyes instead. He made him go through a process in order to really have new sight, and the man was healed.

            Today, ask for Jesus to give you a fresh outlook on the world. Sometimes, it takes going through something messy or gross, like mud-spit, before we can really understand people the way Jesus does. But you know what? It’s always worth it.

Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.

Proverbs 16:32

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Proverbs 18:21