Tag: forgiveness

Holy Week Series: When Jesus “Lets Us Down”

Beginning our Holy Week series, we will start off with asking the question, “How do we react when Jesus ‘lets us down’?”
Advice for your faith journey!

Last year, I posted several days leading up to Easter, and that really brought me closer to God, as well as it hopefully helped you all get prepared for our celebration of the biggest event in history! So I thought I’d do it again this year!

Starting off this year’s series, we’re going to talk about everyone’s least favorite person–Judas. Now, I know you might think you’ve got him figured out. He’s a greedy, scumbag sort of dude, right? That’s it, his story’s over, moving on to someone better…

But actually, he’s deeper than that and we owe it to ourselves to learn everything we can from the story of Jesus’ death and resurrection.

When I first read the Easter story in the Bible, I hated Judas. I think we all have some right to. After all, he did betray Jesus. He’s the one we all blame since he’s the one who saw all the miracles Jesus did, heard all the teachings, felt all the love…and yet still handed Him over to be brutally killed.

I used to think Judas did these things for a few silver coins, all out of greed. But actually, there’s a deeper reason behind Judas’ actions. He strongly opposed the Roman government, which many Jews at that time did, since the Romans took away their freedom and taxed them heavily, among other things. Many Jews expected the king God was sending down to be the new ruler who would overthrow the Roman Empire. Of course, we all know Jesus didn’t do that and instead had a much bigger plan. But this is what upset Judas and many others who shouted “Crucify Him” just a week after praising Jesus in Jerusalem.

Essentially, Judas betrayed Jesus because Jesus let him down. Jesus didn’t have the same plan as Judas, and instead of waiting to see what Jesus would do instead, Judas decided to get as much as he could out of Jesus and be done with Him.

How many times have we treated Jesus as some vending machine? We ask, beg and plead, and once He doesn’t give us what we demand, we stop worshiping Him. I’ve heard so many stories of how people stopped believing in Jesus once something tragic happened in their lives. Maybe a loved one died, a job was lost, or a new leader came into power who goes against their beliefs. How could God let this happen?

I don’t want to minimize your feelings of pain, grief, and disappointment. Crying, needing space, having doubts…that’s all normal and natural and does not deny your faith. The issues come when you abandon your relationship with God after your plans are altered. I want you to step back for a moment and think about all you might be missing out on by being stuck in your disappointment towards God “not coming through for you” instead of focusing on the bigger plan God has in store. God is the only One who knows everything and when you place your life in His hands, you will never be disappointed because you know that even if things don’t go according to your plan, God’s plan is greater and better than what we can imagine.

Now, maybe you’re feeling convicted of a past sin or with the realization that you have abandoned Jesus. Maybe you think it’s too late.

Well, I have some important news for you.

It’s never too late.

Jesus is waiting with open arms. Even when Judas came to the garden with the soldiers to arrest Jesus, He still called Judas “friend”. He still loved Judas even when He knew the evil Judas was doing. But when Judas felt guilty, he didn’t turn to Jesus. Instead, he allowed his guilt and shame to take over and he refused Jesus’ gift of salvation and forgiveness.

But your story doesn’t have to end that way. No, your story is going to be something bigger, better, and more beautiful. Your story already is beautiful because God is writing your story.

Today, think about whether or not you have abandoned Jesus. Remember how much He loves you. Remember how He’s provided for you all along. And most of all, thank Him for His extraordinary gift of unconditional love.

While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people. 48 Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.” 49 Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him.50 Jesus replied, “Do what you came for, friend.”

Matthew 26:47-50

When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. 4 “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.”

Matthew 27:3-4

The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.

1 Timothy 1:15

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

“How Are You Doing?”

When was the last time you asked someone, “How are you doing?”

I’m going to admit, one of my guilty pleasures is rom-coms. I don’t know why since I wouldn’t consider myself the “most romantic person in the world”. But if there’s a really good rom-com out there, I will likely watch it and enjoy it.

The most recent one I’ve watched is the third movie about Lara Jean in the To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before series. She and her boyfriend, Peter, have gone through many ups and downs since they initially got together at the end of the first movie. They’ve matured and have grown significantly closer. In fact, they even plan on going to college together and staying together forever. (Might be sad if they weren’t planning on the latter, now that I think about it).

Anyway, the “big event” of this movie is (spoiler alert!) Lara Jean not getting into the college that they were planning to attend together. The issue is, because they were both planning on going for so long, Lara Jean doesn’t have the heart to tell Peter. So he buys her a Stanford tree hat, decorates his car, and takes her out on a special date to celebrate her acceptance (since he is unaware of her rejection). So you’d think that by the time she does tell him, he’d be pretty upset, right? Probably annoyed, angry, maybe even ready to break up?

But his answer stunned me. And moved me greatly. I don’t often cry during movies, and I thought I would at the end of this one since it’s the last in the series, but the moment I almost cried was at Peter’s response to Lara Jean’s heart-wrenching confession that she didn’t make it into Stanford.

He looks at her with such care and concern as she starts rambling on and on about how she can fix the situation. He stops her and says in a soft, empathetic voice, “How are you doing?”

I’m sure he knows at this moment that his dreams are crushed as much as hers. He had his hopes set on her going to Stanford too. But he doesn’t let that affect the way he reacts. Instead, he puts his care and love for her over his disappointment.

Wow. Okay, let’s regroup for a minute here. (Also go watch the movie after if I haven’t spoiled too much of it for you).

So you might be thinking, “Aw, what a great boyfriend! Next?”

No. We need to really think about this lesson embedded in this scene. Like, how many times have you been dreading telling someone something you knew would disappoint them and you were greeted with a harsh, or even just discouraged, response?

Probably many times.

But how many times have you been given love and admiration for the courage it took you to share that news? How many times were you asked, before any opinions were shared, how you were doing?

And let me flip that question around a bit. When was the last time you responded to disappointing news with care and concern instead of worry or anger?

I think the reason this scene meant so much to me is because I really wanted someone to just ask me how I was doing. I also felt guilty that I haven’t always reacted with such maturity and love to others when faced in similar situations. I’m more inclined to share my opinions on the news rather than hear their side of the story.

Now, I know there are many instances where they say not to ask that question, like right after someone died or something like that. Often that just overwhelms a person.

But I think you’ll know deep down in your heart when it’s the right time to ask if you really stop and let yourself step into the other person’s shoes.

Is there someone who needs to be asked how they’re doing? Like, how they’re really doing?

I know it can be awkward, but sometimes you just have to be the first person to make a move. You have to be the one to start that act of kindness. And if you think about it, that’s only four words. Four simple words to completely change a conversation, even a relationship, around.

So the next time you are tempted to get annoyed at someone’s bad news, think about the situation from their perspective and respond with empathy. Or, if you feel like there’s someone being overlooked or overworked, reach out and see if you can be there for them.

You never know how you might be able to change a life today.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32

One Story’s Villain is Another Story’s Hero

Are there villains in your life’s story that are hard to forgive?

I absolutely love writing. Everyone who knows me even a little bit can probably guess that. Clearly you know it, since I’m a blogger!

Anyway, I have recently been fascinated by YouTube videos about character development. Only a fellow fiction writer can relate to that sentence haha.

Here is a piece of advice I received a while back: Every character has their own plot going on. Each character needs to have their own goals, desires, and beliefs. That’s the only way to make them believable. Because, let’s face it, we are the protagonists in our life story, but we are not in other people’s.

Going even deeper than that, I had this sudden realization:

The villain in your story is the protagonist in another story.

Read that again.

The villain in your story is the protagonist in another story.

Not in your made-up story. In your everyday life. The person who gets under your skin. The person who has hurt you in the past.

They don’t see themselves the way you see them, as arrogant, hurtful, or mean.

And it’s important to realize that other people don’t see themselves the way we see them. In psychology, there’s a phenomenon known as Biases in Attribution. Basically, when we make a mistake, we are more inclined to blame it on outside reasons, such as having a hard day, getting over a loss, or not feeling well. But when someone else makes a mistake, we blame it on internal things, and we are more likely to think they are inherently bad or insensitive because we don’t know what’s going on in their minds.

I’m not saying that there aren’t evil people in the world. The person who hurt you does need to apologize. You have a right to be upset. But if you never hear the words “I’m sorry”, you still need to forgive them. Because if you don’t, then you must believe that what they did is unforgivable.

And as believers in Christ, we need to completely realize that nothing is truly unforgivable. The second we repent, Jesus forgives us. He died for us because of His never-ending love and grace. His heart breaks for us. We hurt Him the most, the One who did nothing wrong.

So if He can forgive us, certainly we can forgive the “villains” in our lives too, huh? That doesn’t mean we need to allow them to manipulate or hurt us again. But it does mean we need to let go of our bitter feelings and extend God’s grace towards them.

After all, if you are unintentionally being the villain in someone else’s story, wouldn’t you want them to forgive you too?

And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

Mark 11:25

The Thing That Hurts Us

Are you really angry at someone right now? Did someone hurt you deeply? Here is some advice and encouragement as to how to heal your heart.

I was recently doing a Bible study with some friends, and the message for that week was about how important our thoughts are to our well-being. Not only that, but to our relationship with God.

If you’ve ever struggled with loneliness, anxiety, depression, or stress, I’m sure you can agree that those intrusive thoughts that bombard our minds seem to take over our lives.

But I think something that people don’t often associate with our mental health is anger. Anger can easily take over our lives and destroy our relationships. Not only that, but it can destroy our mental well-being too.

I think it’s interesting, in a sad way, that our society seems to glorify being angry.

“Oh, you’re angry at that side? Excellent, that means that you are the best supporter for us.”

“You’re mad that this person won? Go fight for your beliefs!”

People often support their anger with the story of how Jesus turned tables over in the temple. “If Jesus was angry, then we can be angry too!”

Being angry is natural. But it doesn’t mean we should stay angry, and it does mean that we need to pay attention to what we are doing with our anger. When Jesus expressed His anger over the injustices going on in His city, He did not hurt people with His anger. I think that’s a good question to check ourselves with. When we are doing ____ because we are angry, does that hurt anyone?

The next thing to think about is, where is the root cause of this anger? Is it hurt? Frustration? Something unrelated to the thing you’re fueling your angry energy towards?

Jesus spoke against the rulers that were harming people’s relationship with God. Jesus was frustrated by the unfairness and lies being spread. He was standing up for truth.

I’m going to admit something to you right now. Over the last couple of weeks, I have been very angry at a couple people in my life. I didn’t want to feel hurt, so instead I fueled my energy towards thinking negative thoughts about them. I wanted to feel powerful, powerful enough to be in charge of my feelings.

But then I came across this verse, and it frightened me.

“In your anger, do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”

Ephesians 4:26-27

Whoa. Okay, just take a moment with me here to think about this. When we are angry, we allow the devil to work through us. That is certainly frightening, isn’t it? That means that instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to be the One guiding us, we are allowing our enemy to take over. That’s such an incredible loss. That means we gave over to our real permanent enemy, not just the temporary one we’ve found in a friend, relative, or random internet stranger.

Then, as I kept reading, I was struck by this additional verse.

“And do not grieve the Holy Spirt of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.”

Ephesians 4:30

When we are angry, we hurt God.

I know a lot of times we think we are just hurting the other person when we think angry thoughts about them or when we seek revenge. But the thing is, we are hurting everyone involved– ourselves, the other person, and God. God is involved in our daily lives, which means He knows when we are upset. He understands when we are hurt, but instead of letting our pride get in the way, we need to come to Him and express the deep pain we are feeling.

Because, let’s face it. We are angry because we allowed ourselves to become vulnerable enough to trust someone, and they blew it. They might’ve betrayed your trust in numerous ways. It could be taking the opposite side on an issue you’re passionate about. Maybe they told someone something personal about you that ruined your reputation. Perhaps they didn’t show up in your life the way you thought they would–maybe even in a way they previously promised they would.

Friend, it’s totally normal and okay to be upset when someone does terrible things to us. Or even not-so-terrible things that still hurt us.

But we can’t stay stuck in those feelings. We have to forgive them.

Because if we don’t forgive them, we are losing our battle against the evil in this world. We are allowing our lives to be run by our anger instead of our love.

So today, if there’s someone you need to forgive, even if it’s just in your heart, please do it. It will change your life.

When I took that step to forgive those people, my life didn’t change over night. But I did feel an overwhelming sense of peace and a burden lifted off my shoulders. And the next time I am hurt by someone, I will have to remind myself that no matter how hard it is, I shouldn’t make the hurt worse by allowing resentment to take over.

Instead, let us both place those feelings in God’s hands and move on with our lives.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

James 1:19-20

Surrender

Don’t let what appears to be a fight with a person sway you from your purpose of loving others.

We all have our weaknesses. Every character, whether an average person or a superhero, has their one flaw (at least one!). That’s one of the most accurate parts of media, I think, is revealing that we are all human whether we like to believe it or not.

The thing is, it’s super easy to pick out someone else’s flaws, but it’s rather difficult to find our own. We don’t like to admit that we’re selfish, inconsiderate, or quick tempered. We don’t want to think that while we’re hurt by others, we are also capable of causing the hurt.

Sometimes God uses people to test us, to see if we are really loving, patient, and kind.

We can show all the compassion and sweetness in the world to the people who don’t push our buttons as easily. We can talk all day about how we are going to spread Jesus’ love when we are surrounded by people we find easy to be kind to.

But when that person comes around who always just says the wrong thing? That thing that makes you want to escape yourself and silence them. Perhaps it’s a family member or a friend. Maybe this person isn’t even that close to you, yet you must see them on a regular basis.

We all have that person who just gets under our skin and tests us.

I recently have felt surrounded by people who have in the past and are currently just driving me crazy. But this time, I’m realizing that perhaps it’s because I’m letting them.

I’m letting my temper get away from me. I’m letting my feelings of bitterness overwhelm God’s voice in my life.

Today’s sermon from my church was about Jesus being kind and healing the daughter of a woman from a community that had, in the past, been against His own. Yet, Jesus was impressed by her faith and used her as an example to His own community for what true faith should look like.

God can use anyone for His glory, even the people that get on our nerves.

And chances are, He’s even using them to change you, too.

Perhaps God is convicting you of these hard feelings you have against them. Or maybe it’s your own personality flaw that needs to get worked on.

I know I have so many things I struggle with and sometimes these people are testing me to see if I will fall back on my old ways of living.

Don’t let the enemy win. That’s who you are really in a battle against, not your friend, or family member, or neighbor. No. It’s the enemy trying to get you to falter.

Don’t give him that satisfaction.

Instead, let these people help you grow into a patient, truly loving person, who God is so proud of.

I know you can do this. Let God’s voice speak into your life, whether it is something you may not have wanted to hear, like conviction, or something to encourage you.

Today is the first day of the future for you. No need to turn back. You can start fresh today.

Today you can finally surrender those feelings of resentment, that annoyance you feel towards that person, or persons.

I am praying that you can get through this. God is with you.

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?

Matthew 7:3-4

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

Romans 8:37