Tag: fear

When Jesus Knocks

Does fear cause you to keep Jesus at a distance?

On the morning of the most amazing day in history, eleven men were huddled in a room, terrified for their lives. These men were fishers, tax collectors, zealots, and followers of Jesus. Very notable followers, in fact, for being the original remaining disciples.

Yet a knock at the door sent the disciples running under tables, terrified for their lives.

Okay, we don’t actually know if Jesus knocked. Or if they were really under tables. But given that they had been hiding since Jesus was crucified? I wouldn’t be surprised…

Of course, they didn’t know it was Jesus who was waiting for them on the other side of the door that day. They likely thought it was Roman soldiers who came to arrest them. Or maybe they had heard from Mary that Jesus was alive and they were scared about seeing Him again.

For Peter, he might’ve felt shame at the sight of his Lord after denying Him three times. For Thomas, it might’ve felt safer to not get his hopes up. For others, it might’ve seemed too great a miracle to be true. And perhaps they were worried that Jesus would judge them for being scared?

Just think–fear kept them from letting Jesus in. And arguably very solid fears for their lives. But when they allowed fear to dictate their actions, they weren’t open to the possibility of a miracle.

Thankfully, no wall or door or any sort of barrier–even fear–will keep Jesus out. He appeared to them, showed them His hands and feet, and gently reminded them to have faith. He reminded them that He would always love them and have the power over death.

What areas of your life are you allowing fear to dictate your actions and thoughts? When you allow fear to be in control, you put Jesus in the backseat of the mission. But Jesus is the only one who knows what He’s doing and has complete control. In any car chase, I would gladly have someone like James Bond take the wheel rather than me–someone who knows what they are doing and can remain calm in the situation. But of course we don’t have our own personally trained body guards–we have someone better. Jesus, thankfully, is able to be everywhere at once and advocate for all our needs.

Today, ask Jesus to open your eyes to the areas in your life where you need to be honest with Him. Ask Him to intercede for you and help you trust that He knows where He’s leading you and He won’t let you go. Nothing can stop the power of Jesus’ love in your life–not even fear.

On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish leaders, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.

John 20:19-20

Therefore he [Jesus] is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.

Hebrews 7:25

Let Yourself Feel Joy

Do you avoid hoping for fear of disappointment?

It’s so easy to allow fear to steal away the best moments of our lives.

Fear may come in the form of rationality or jadedness. Perhaps we just “know” that things never stay good for long. And what do we expect, in this broken world?

But if we never allow ourselves to feel joy, then what are we living for?

You may feel stronger by not getting your hopes up. By saying that things always end up in disappointment. By not being surprised when hard times come.

But what if that isn’t strength? What if that’s giving into fear?

Fear of not being in control of your life. Fear of not truly knowing how long good things will last.

We can’t experience joy until we fully accept that we aren’t in control.

It’s a hard truth to come to grips with, especially in the face of so many tragedies, both in our personal lives and in the world. The ache of disappointment. The heartbreak of rejection. But holding onto a false sense of security only hurts us.

And most of all, it robs us of the beauty life can bring.

So, how can we fully experience joy?

By making the most of the little things. By taking each day as it comes. By not judging yourself too hard when you feel yourself regressing or not living up to the impossible standards society demands of us.

It’s okay if you don’t feel happy today. But you don’t have to be happy to feel grateful. Grateful that the sun still rose today. Grateful for the people who are always there for you. Grateful for a moment to rest.

Expect disappointment, and that’s what you’ll get. But hope for something more? Then you’ll surely have a higher chance of finding joy.

The truest source of joy comes from Jesus, who never changes. His plans are far greater than anything we could ever imagine. While we may be disappointed in the moment, Jesus promises that our lives aren’t wasted. He will restore our joy. ❤

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

Stepping Into Another Year of Life

A little note on birthdays 🙂

I realized yesterday that I’ve never posted on my birthday, always the day after. But this year is the time for something different.

I love this quote on birthdays by Morgan Harper Nichols:

Take heart.

The value of your life

is not measured in calendar years.

When I was a kid, I used to enjoy the presents and the time with friends for my birthday, but I would also dread getting older. Why be ten when I loved being nine?

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve felt the pressure to speed up the aging process in order to be respected. It’s a compliment to be seen as more mature than you really are.

And I suppose once I hit my 30’s or 40’s, I’ll want to be young again. So the cycle continues.

I think this with a chuckle: We are never really satisfied, are we?

As C.S. Lewis once put it, we are created with an eternal purpose and an eternal soul within us, which means only eternal things can satisfy us.

This year has been a reminder to put everything in God’s hands. Our plans, our dreams, even what we think we need, can change with the flip of a switch. Everything can be gone in an instant, even what we once thought was love.

Except God’s love, of course. That lasts forever.

It’s been painful to realize that things not going smoothly isn’t a sign that I’m not abiding by God’s will. It may very well be that God steered me down an uncomfortable path for a reason. It means that things will hurt and parts of my life will get pruned. But it’s all necessary for beautiful growth.

So today, at the end of a very long year that simultaneously went by in a snap, I will just say one thing:

Cherish what you have while you have it. The loved ones, the opportunities, the peace. But never hold onto anything too tightly, except for God. We float through life like a feather in the wind. But we are headed in the direction–the best direction possible–that God has in mind for us.

So don’t waste away the present by worrying about the future. Instead, hold onto hope as you move forward with a smile, knowing that maybe tomorrow will be a little bit better. ❤

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

2 Corinthians 5:17

Staying Grounded in a Shaky World

Is your mind often consumed by anxious thoughts?

There are days when everything feels up in the air. Your career, your relationships, your faith even. It can feel hopeless, as though you’re stuck in a swirling sea of uncertainty.

The wisest bits of wisdom often come from children, even if they are unaware of what they are truly saying. Last night, I asked a preschool child what she is most afraid of, and her answer resonated most with the adults in the room.

She replied, “I am afraid when there is something new because I don’t know what will happen.”

She hit on the exact mark of why we are so often afraid: Because we don’t know what’s out there.

Another kid added, “I don’t think we’re afraid of the dark itself; we’re afraid of what’s in the dark that could hurt us.”

We are afraid of what could be.

According to Medline Plus, anxiety is characterized by feelings of fear, dread, or uneasiness. That impending doom lurking before us when we forget that God has an even bigger plan for our lives and won’t leave us behind.

But even with God’s help, we know that pain is just a part of life. We will certainly experience it before our time comes. So how can we stay grounded when anxiety consumes our thoughts?

There are a few simple actions I have found helpful when experiencing fear for the future. I’ll call them the three G’s.

Gratitude

Writing down a list of ten things that you are thankful for each day can help remind you that while bad things do happen, so do wonderful things. It can remind you that God has taken care of you and will bring you through this new season too.

Another gratitude related activity that I love is writing down something that you are thankful for related to your senses. For example, this morning I wrote that I’m thankful to feel my dog’s fur, see the beautiful sunshine, and taste fresh baked bread.

Keeping in touch with your surroundings is key. When you feel overwhelmed in a chaotic atmosphere, it can be relieving to start listing out what is close to you and focusing on the little details.

Growth

Keeping a journal of where you are at through different stages of your life is an excellent way to remember how far you’ve come. After a year, or even a shorter time than that, it can be encouraging to reflect on how God has helped you grow. Often, God uses our fear and lack of control over the future to help us trust Him more and more throughout our lives. It’s incredibly beautiful to see.

Grace

Have grace for yourself when feelings of fear rise up within you. You are not a failure for feeling that way.

In the end, we shouldn’t beat ourselves up over our fears. Yes, God told us not to fear countless times in the Bible. But God also knows us and the situations He has planned for us. That means God knows that we will ultimately have moments of fear, and that doesn’t make Him love us any less.

Rather, God wants us to use those moments as opportunities to develop an even richer, deeper faith in Him.

They say you can’t be brave without having fear, because if you weren’t afraid of anything, then nothing is a risk for you.

The same goes for faith. If you don’t have any fear, then you have no reason to trust God.

Today, have grace for yourself, even when you feel yourself slipping. Instead of focusing on what you are disappointed about, remember that each day that you follow Jesus, you are becoming more and more like Him.

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.

Romans 8:14-16

To the Person Who Needs to Let Go

The first of many letters to my faithful readers ❤

I’m starting a new series sharing journal entires I’ve written (either to myself, God, or others) that I believe will encourage you. Each post will be dedicated to the person who I best believe will benefit from these simple words. Hopefully that person is you today. ❤

Today’s journal entry comes from last August.

Dear You Who May Relate,

Recently I’ve been sad for many reasons, but a big one is the fear of letting go. I’m scared of letting go of people. I’m scared I won’t make new friends. I’m scared of leaving my job and I’m worried I won’t find a job as meaningful. I’m scared all my relationships will change.

But today, something I’ve been trying to repeat to myself finally clicked.

If I hold too tightly to the past, I’ll miss what’s coming. If I allow the past to dictate the present and future, then things won’t get better. But if I have hope for each brand new day, then I can finally experience true joy and rest. Maybe each new day is one step closer to meeting a new friend or mentor or achieving a dream?

What if–instead of dread–I can feel excited for the new season? Letting go is not abandoning others–it’s leaving room for joy and expectation of God’s promises.

And, as Hannah six months later, I can confirm that the road to this new season is rocky, but also lined with unexpected blessings and growth opportunities.

Hope is not lost–not for either of us. God has never (and will never) leave your side. You are not alone.

Love, Hannah ❤

What no eye has seen,
    what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”—
    the things God has prepared for those who love him.

1 Corinthians 2:9

“Letting go” does not mean you’re giving up, it just means that after all this time, you are finally beginning to see even without the closure: You are worth the new beginning.

Morgan Harper Nichols

What If…It’s Gonna Be Okay?

Hope for when life is confusing.

I don’t know about you, but for me, when life doesn’t go the way I hoped, I start questioning all my decisions. I get angry at myself for not choosing the opposite choice, assuring myself that if I had only known better, things wouldn’t have ended up this way. If I had picked a different school, became friends with someone else, researched more before making a choice…the list of what ifs could go on and on.

But what if…

The reason why you didn’t know was so that you could grow?

Just think about it. If you hadn’t made that mistake, would you still be the person you are today? If you hadn’t gotten into that rough situation, would you still be the compassionate and understanding individual you are now? You may not feel strong, but the truth is, with every difficult season, you are growing into a stronger person.

And what’s the worst that could happen if you dare to believe that the future is bright? What if this isn’t the end? What if this is the beginning of something amazing?

I once heard that the one thing that elevates humans above other species is our imagination. This imagination can cause our minds to run wild with fears, doubts, and questions. Questions that trap us in the past, ruminating over all the scenarios that could have been.

But I like to think of imagination as one of life’s greatest blessings. What if your imagination allows you to see the potential in others, the light that God has placed inside each of us? What if your imagination restores your hope in yourself?

You can be rest assured that no matter what your life looks like right now, yes, you are capable of good things. Yes, there is more ahead of you. Yes, you aren’t a mistake.

Today, on the day dedicated to gratitude, I want you to soak in the goodness of God’s promises. He calls you chosen. Forgiven. Blessed. Chosen. Loved.

When we focus on all we have to be grateful for, our hope is restored. We aren’t sugarcoating the past or only focusing on its downfalls. We are recognizing how both the good and the painful have shaped us into who we are today.

And that person, no matter how you are showing up today, is amazing.

So thankful for you. ❤

For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.

1 Timothy 4:4-5

Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Psalm 106:1

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;

    his love endures forever.

1 Chronicles 16:34

All Together

Do you find it difficult to relate to people who seem to have it all together? Is it tempting to only share the parts of your life that are going well?

Recently, I’ve heard a lot of people note how, especially within the church, we are inclined to share how we successfully made it through past pain and difficulties, yet we are reluctant to reveal how we don’t have it all together in the present. The more I’ve thought about this, the truer it sounds. When we pretend like we have everything figured out, we are doing a disservice to both ourselves and the people witnessing our spiritual journey.

The truth is, no one has life figured out completely. They may look like they do, but they really don’t. Last week, I had lunch with an old friend, and we were discussing our plans for the next year. She eagerly shared how she would be joining a smaller community which she described as “nerdy”, which she looked forward to being a part of. I remarked that meant she wouldn’t feel like she had to keep up an image of having it all together. She laughed and replied, “When have I ever looked like I’ve had it all together?”

This is coming from someone who had the perfect grades in school, a great family, a comfortable home, played on a pro soccer team, nearly published a book at age 18, and had a decent sized friend group. To the outside observer, yeah, she did seem like she had it all together.

Prior to her confession of not “having it all together”, I assumed she saw herself as a successful, brilliant young woman with a bright future ahead of her. In fact, I was even a little intimidated by her as I thought about how far she had come in her goals while I felt so far back. Yet in that moment, I realized how truly terrible it is when we assume others have it better than we do.

When we see someone win a gold medal or receive a promotion, we don’t always hear about the sweat and tears it took to get where they are today. When we enviously watch others find the love of their lives or a boss who finally respects them, we don’t know about all the people who have rejected them or belittled them in the past. The point is, we don’t each others’ full stories. Even if everyone read a memoir written by everyone else, we still wouldn’t know each others’ daily thoughts and struggles. There’s no way we can take on that kind of responsibility.

That’s why it’s important to focus on the tasks God has given us specifically to do instead of looking over our shoulders at people who seem to have it better.

Additionally, when given the opportunity to share our testimonies, whether in front of a small group or one-on-one with a friend, we need to honest about how God is using our daily lives. That includes our setbacks, our moments of wondering whether or not we really overcame our past fear or regret. It also includes appreciating the little joys of each day, knowing that they may fade away tomorrow, yet we can still enjoy them in the moment.

Today, let yourself be vulnerable where you are being called to be vulnerable. Obviously, not everyone is in a place to hear about the deeper parts of your story. However, when God is calling you to share your story, don’t allow the temptation to appear as perfect as possible take over. Remember how the relatable messages of others have resonated with you. People can’t learn from human “perfection”. However, we can learn from the truths buried inside life’s ups and downs.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Ephesians 4:29

If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

John 15:7

Song Recommendation: All Together, by Mike Donehey: https://youtu.be/IV2PdVlcUDw

Letting Go of the Darkness

When we feel insecure, it’s easy to slip into the darkness and hide who we really are. But remembering that God never leaves us can help us have courage in our relationships.

According to experts, we look better in the dark. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. When in dimly lit places, we can hide our flaws and mask our insecurities behind the shadows.

If you’ve noticed, restaurants targeting dating couples are often dimly lit. You’d suppose it’s to create a romantic ambiance, right? But how is it really more romantic? (Without being overly suggestive here…)

Well, it’s all scientific, actually. The pupils in our eyes dilate when we’re in the dark, as well as when we see something we like. That means our eyes are trying to get a better look at it, letting more light in. Thus, by creating an environment where our pupils naturally dilate, we are more inclined to find the person in front of us attractive and enjoyable in this kind of setting.

Now, you may be wondering what this has to do with faith advice or encouragement, but trust me, as always, I do eventually get to a point!

We often cling to the dark when we are scared of revealing our vulnerable side, the parts of us we aren’t super proud of. The “dark” can refer to a multitude of masks, really, whether it be a successful job, a busy schedule, or even acts of generosity. It can also be secluding one’s self, not opening up to people who care, or literally hiding where no one will think to look. We use the darkness as a way to escape the present pain and to make ourselves appear better than we really are.

But, as you may have already learned the hard way, relationships have to be built on honesty. I once read the quote, “If people don’t like you for what you are, they will not like you more for pretending to be what you are not.” (Rabbi Jonathan Sacks)

There is great truth in this. It’s easy to want to put on a show for people you love, people who seem “better” than you (spoiler: they are not), and people you hope to keep in your life. For me, I was always afraid of losing people. I still struggle with this fear. When I worry they’ll forget me or not need me around anymore, I force myself to pretend that everything’s okay when I’m around them and do whatever I can to make them need me or want me around.

But by the end of the day, it makes me feel unsatisfied. That’s because the only way we can feel satisfied in our relationships is when we put them in God’s hands and stay true to who we are. Though we’d like to have certain people in our lives forever, sometimes it’s not meant to be. Every relationship has a reason, whether they last a week or for decades. Even a short interaction with a waitress or a cashier might be life-changing. You never know.

God uses different people for different seasons of our lives. He wants us to find people who love us just the way we are. Yes, they should encourage us to grow, but they shouldn’t make us feel bad for being who God created us to be, quirks and all. And if they leave, they leave.

But you know who will never leave? God. He is the light. No dark facade can phase Him. And He will always, always be by your side through thick and thin. It may not feel like it sometimes, when the hard times hit, but I love what a wise friend of mine once said. God saved him from a potentially tragic situation, and he said, (paraphrased), “I know that Jesus was in the seat next to me. Even if I had been seriously hurt, He still would’ve been with me. No matter what, Jesus is always with me.” I will always keep this piece of wisdom close to me. That kind of trust astounds me, and hopefully it inspires you as well.

Breathe in, remembering that you have nothing to fear. Breathe out, remembering that Jesus will never leave you nor forsake you.

For you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light.

Ephesians 5:8


Even the darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day.
Darkness and light are alike to You.

Psalm 139:12

For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son

Colossians 1:13

But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light.

Ephesians 5:13

In For a Dollar

What keeps you from having a deep relationship with God?

At the end of every speech, Christian writer Max Lucado tests his audience by offering a dollar bill to anyone who wants it. Usually, he’s met by silence, a confused crowd. After a little while, one nervous or daring audience member stands up and claims it.

He concluded that there are a few reasons why people don’t race each other to the stage. First, for simply a dollar, it might not seem worth the humiliation of going up there. Second, they may think someone else needs the dollar more than them. And third, they may think it’s a trick.

Lucado compares this example to salvation. There’s nothing we can do to earn God’s forgiveness, it’s simply there for us. We may not believe it will benefit our life, even though it certainly will. We may think others need it more than we do.

I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s two things separating us from God: fear and pride.

Fear tells us that salvation isn’t “really” free. It makes us doubt God and His plan, and even His existence. It causes us to hide our beliefs or ignore our convictions.

Pride makes us think we don’t need God. We allow self-sufficiency take the place of our need of our rescuer–God. We do whatever we can to avoid humiliation.

In order to have a deep and honest relationship with God, we need to trade our fear and pride in for two things: trust and humility. When we trust God, we are willing to do whatever He asks us to, even if the world thinks it’s strange. When we are humble, we allow the Holy Spirit to work within us by showing us where we need to grow and allowing us to demonstrate God’s love to everyone in our path.

We can be confident without being prideful by remembering we are made in God’s image and everything we have comes from Him. We can be logical without being fearful, by taking necessary precautions to be safe while not allowing them to come between us and God’s call.

Sometimes it feels like a long, endless journey towards becoming who God has created us to be. But don’t lose hope. Each day, by striving to know Him and become more like Him, you are growing. God is not wasting this season of learning. He’s shaping you into exactly the person you need to be.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Ephesians 4:2

But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

James 4:6

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?

Psalm 56:3-4

The Thing We Fear Most: Rejection

Have people in the past made you feel worthless? Today I’ll share how to overcome rejection and where to find hope again.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately. I’m sure if I took a poll, most people would say they’d want to be reached out to or have people be real with them. Sometimes a simple call or even a “hello” can make a world of difference in someone’s life. Sometimes one vulnerable conversation can lead to a lasting relationship or a place of healing. Yet we often allow our fears to talk us out of being the one to reach out or start an honest conversation. And what do we fear, you might ask? Rejection.

The first thing that comes to mind when I see the word “rejection” is its prevalence in romantic relationships, when one person likes another, and the feelings aren’t reciprocated. While this is a big area where people lose confidence, it is not the only place where rejection seeps into our lives.

A person close to me was rejected by her parents and a step parent and spent much of her growing up years undervalued and treated as “second-rate” to her step-siblings. Through this trauma of not having a real, permanent home, nor trustworthy guardians, decades later, she is still experiencing the effects.

I recently was able to spend time with her and I saw how even the ones she considers close to her were really kept at a distance. It breaks my heart to see how the rejection she experienced as a child has caused her to avoid being rejected by family, friends, and partners in her adult years by not letting others in.

The worst part is, this fear continues to keep her from seeing her true worth. Her family and friends want to know her, the real her, not just the person hiding behind walls of generosity and strength. Yet past rejection has led her to believe that no one truly cares about her or wants to be around her when she’s herself.

It makes sense that we fear rejection. After all, what’s the best feeling in the world? Being loved and wanted. So of course the worst feeling in the world is being rejected.

And when we’re rejected, it’s not really as simple as “oh I just want to stay friends” or “I don’t need a kid around right now”; it’s really an attack on our identity. It’s saying we truly are as worthless as we feel sometimes. It’s our worst fear coming true: that being ourselves isn’t enough and there’s nothing we can do about it.

Though the obvious root of rejection comes from early experiences with it, such as in my previous examples, or when friends or others we admire dump us, there is an even deeper meaning behind our fear of rejection.

When we allow others to define us, we forget the only One whose opinion matters: God’s.

When we get bogged down by criticism or feeling ignored, we have to remember that our worth is found in God. When we look to people to decide how valuable we are, which we’ve all done I’m sure, then we are not believing that God’s word is true.

God says we are chosen, loved, worth so much, even death on a cross. And when we spend time with God, the One who loves us the most, and with people who show us God’s love, we will start feeling worthy again.

Moving on and letting go of people is hard. I recently read a story to some kids about how a hermit crab had to let go of his old friends and old shell once he outgrew them. It was really hard for him because he cared about them, yet he knew that was the only way he could survive.

Sometimes, we have to let go of people and things who don’t allow us to grow into the people God made us to be. If they don’t affirm God’s feelings toward us, then it might be time to move on. I know it’s so difficult, but I promise that once you embrace who God made you to be, you will start feeling worth loving again.

 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. 

Ephesians 1:4-6

Song Recommendation: Already Enough, by Fearless Soul: https://youtu.be/kFQ7qiqm6WA