Encouragement – Page 8 – The Will to Wake Up

Tips for Discerning Spiritual Mentorship

Unsure whether to accept spiritual advice from someone in your life? Consider these tips in your discernment process.

Spiritual mentorship can take a variety of forms, whether your mentor is a pastor, church leader, or close friend. Though the term “spiritual mentor” sounds pretty professional, it’s actually just the fancy term for any person you allow to speak into your relationship with God. Often this person gives you advice related to your faith, and perhaps they even preach sermons or teach you about God.

We get to choose who impacts our spiritual life. Given how this is the most important aspect of our lives, we must discern who can be trusted with this authority.

Unfortunately, there are many people out there who have good intentions but do not give godly counsel. Even sadder is that there are still others who intentionally distract people from God’s voice. This isn’t meant to scare you, but with this in mind, it may help you weed out who to receive spiritual direction from.

I’m still in the process of figuring out what a good spiritual mentor looks like, but I’ve been blessed to receive both amazing, godly mentors and others who have taught me what to watch out for. Here are a few tips for discerning whether someone should have spiritual authority in your life:

Does your mentor display these traits?

Humility
Graciousness
Joy
Love
Peace

Mentors come in all personality types, so it isn’t wrong for you to feel more drawn to someone who is energetic while your friend may be drawn to someone calmer and more soothing. However, there are a few core spiritual traits that should be evident in someone spiritually mature.

These gifts of the Holy Spirit reflect a person’s walk with God, particularly humility. It is dangerous to receive advice from someone who believes they have all the answers and take the place of God. They must know their worth: without God, they are nothing, but because of God, they are loved more than they could ever imagine. When we are influenced by people who know their worth, we will feel seen and loved as well.

Does their advice make you feel…

Convicted
Hopeful
Loved
Eager to spend more time with God

These four attributes are vital to sound spiritual advice. If your mentor is constantly praising you without being honest about where you may need to grow, then they are not a credible source of wisdom. The Bible is meant to convict us in a loving way so that we are reminded of our need for God and our call as His creation to love others as we have been loved.

With that said, you shouldn’t feel constantly beaten down either. The Bible is meant to give us hope that while we can’t save ourselves we have a Savior who loves us and allows us to do His work. Someone who puts you constantly to shame may not be aware of their own need for God’s grace. Mentors should be a reflection of God’s voice, not a speaker of the enemy’s deception.

Ask yourself these questions after being with them:

Do I respect them more after this conversation?
How does spending time with them make me feel?
Do I feel prompted to grow or take a proactive step after being with them? (Even if that step means rest or boundaries)
And lastly, the most important one: What gut sense am I receiving after asking God for wisdom?

Make sure you are including God in this discernment process. With Him at the core of your decisions and relationships, you will grow and learn no matter who you are with. Sometimes, we will have a sense that doesn’t align with what we can see, but it may be the Holy Spirit nudging us to either take a leap of faith or step back from a bad situation. Trust that God will provide you with the mentorship you need and pray that you may be surrounded by those who fill you with God’s love.

Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:9

Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.
Proverbs 9:9

Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.
Hebrews 13:7

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it.
2 Timothy 3:14

Brokenness Redeemed

Your story matters. Through this post, I hope to inspire you with mine.

Do you believe your story matters?

For the longest time, I didn’t believe mine did. Until I stood up on stage in front of a hundred or so people who had watched me grow up, but never really knew me, and shared my testimony.

It’s been over four years since that faithful day. A day that Jesus used to redeem my story. Recently, I read the story of the woman at the well. If you’re unfamiliar with it, it’s another story of redemption and testimonies. In Jesus’ interaction with this woman, she reveals the brokenest parts of her story as a witness to Jesus’ identity as our Lord and Savior. This causes the people of her town, who likely had rejected her because of her brokenness, to come to believe. Her story brought them to Jesus, who then transformed each person to make their faith their own.

After rereading this passage, I felt inspired to share my new testimony. After all, a lot has happened in four years. Our stories are constantly being written.

But after two hours of writing, I realized I had eight pages — with much more to go — of stories from my past. I believe that remembering what Jesus has done for us is important, but sometimes focusing solely on the past undermines what He is doing in the present. It also makes it seem like we are fully healed at the end of our testimony, when in reality I know I still have much more healing to go.

So today I will share a piece of my story that is still being unwoven. I hope through this that you may feel inspired to share your story, and at the very least, know that your story has immense value.

Broken, but healing

Growing up as an only child, I often had to prove how “unselfish” I was to combat the misbelief that all only children are spoiled brats (though rest assured, I’ve met plenty of them). To be honest, I wasn’t a completely pure hearted kid. I struggled to share my toys, I didn’t want to invite over kids who weren’t in my closest circle, and I preferred receiving over giving.

I don’t believe those traits necessarily came from being an only child, but perhaps resulted more from being a child in a comfortable home. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about being a follower of Christ, it’s that we are thrown out of our comfort zones in order to change.

In order to protect myself from being misjudged, I built walls to block away the influence of others. However, these walls didn’t stop me from being hurt when others were unkind, and instead they filtered out all hints of criticism, including words meant to help me grow.

These walls came crashing down in the middle of my high school career when I felt utterly alone. I thought I had lost the people who meant the most to me. I did everything I could to be lovable — including giving much of what I had, monetarily and emotionally. But the person whom I believed I loved the most just couldn’t love me back.

Through various situations outside of my control, (a car accident, grief, rejection, and of course the pandemic), God drew me close to Him. By removing everything else I could rely on, He made me realize that He is the only one with the strength to protect my heart.

However, my definition of protection wasn’t entirely the same as God’s.

I entered college ready for something new after a summer of loss and self-doubt. But my fresh start ended up being another season of heartbreak and chaos when I unexpectedly had to move out of a toxic rooming situation. Many of the connections I had built quickly withered away.

A lie that had been pounding in my heart seeped its way out:

You are not lovable. You are meant to be alone.

I tried to combat this lie by building up more walls, including distancing myself from the people who really did love me, and believing that taking an alternative route with college made me a failure.

However, by now I knew the truth that I could not do this on my own. My walls shook with each panic attack. Now my weakness was visible to everyone.

God placed several people in my life, ones who embraced me and filled my heart with His love. God took me across the globe to remind me that I have gifts that need to be shared with others.

Though strengthened, I didn’t feel truly healed. Through counseling, setting boundaries, and prayer journaling, my anxiety lessened and the visible symptoms of my brokenness were much less obvious. But sometimes that feels worse, when we wonder why we feel so empty despite looking whole.

It wasn’t until last August, on the day I quit my job — an act that required trust in God to provide for me — that I finally understood my role in the healing process.

Surrendering to God.

The moment of my first surrender remains so clear for me. I was loading the dishwasher, a Spotify playlist put together by the lovely women in my Bible study humming in the background. And then “I Surrender” began to play and without even knowing the words, I sang my heart out, trusting each verse more with every repetition.

I was carried by the strength of this act — no actually, the vulnerability. I had focused so much on the strength and power of God that I forgot what true strength looks like: being open, honest, and even broken before Him.

Since then, I have learned that surrendering to God is a daily act of trust. It isn’t a one-time thing or a quick-fix solution. It’s the hardest thing we can do, apart our biggest requirement as Christians.

Love others as Jesus would love them.

But you can’t love others until you are filled with a new truth, a truth that I am still in the process of embracing:

You are lovable. You are more loved than you can ever imagine. You can’t love others well until you accept that you belong in the family of God and His love for you will carry you through all your days.

I thought that protecting my heart meant shielding it from loving others. However, withholding God’s love in this way is the most selfish act we can ever do. God’s way of protecting my heart wasn’t keeping it from heartbreak, but rather filling it with His love so that it doesn’t have to break when I share my love freely.

Side note: This isn’t to say you should stay in relationships that aren’t loving. When you accept God’s love, it means you love yourself too. Boundaries can be a huge act of love because they stop us from enabling others, prompting them to be open to changing for the better.

When we love wholeheartedly as Jesus would, it means our love isn’t dependent on the actions and responses of the people we love. It doesn’t have to be when we are fueled by God’s everlasting love rather than human validation.

We are free to love without regrets.

I am still in the process of untethering my heart from the enemy’s lies and anchoring it in God’s truth. I hope that you are on this journey as well in knowing that you are truly loved and that love is meant to be shared with the world.

Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, “He told me everything I ever did.” ⁴⁰So when the Samaritans came to him, they urged him to stay with them, and he stayed two days. ⁴¹And because of his words many more became believers.

⁴²They said to the woman, “We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world.”
John 4:39-42

Hope Amidst Rejection

Jesus is right there, even in your most broken moments.

Rejection shows up in a variety of forms.

At times, it may be losing or not getting a job. Other times, it may be a friend or romantic interest/partner who no longer wants a relationship with you. Rejection can stem back to childhood, when a family member didn’t accept you or love you as they should’ve.

We can even show ourselves rejection through harmful self-talk or criticizing ourselves when we make mistakes.

But you don’t need me to tell you what rejection is. You’ve likely felt it’s sting before, whether through harsh words or unkind actions, or even silence and ignorance themselves.

Nobody is free from being rejected at one time or another, including Jesus. If that’s hard to wrap your head around, think about all the people in your life who haven’t accepted His love, even though He offers it openhandedly. Remember the people in the Bible who spoke falsely about Jesus, who even participated in His brutal murder. Jesus knows what it’s like to feel alone and unwanted.

Yet Jesus is the epitome of courage and faithfulness. When He is alone in the Garden of Gethsemane right before His crucifixion, He calls out to God, blood tears pooling on His forehead. Even in His loneliest moment, He knows who is always with Him.

Jesus doesn’t pretend that the pain from rejection isn’t real or that we shouldn’t grieve our broken hearts. In fact, He’s with us in those dark, intimate moments when we feel lost without belonging.

When Jesus sends out 72 disciples to venture into outside towns and share the good news, He warns them that they may face rejection and hostility. He also provides them words of comfort: “Whoever listens to you listens to me; whoever rejects you rejects me; but whoever rejects me rejects him who sent me” (Luke 10:16 NIV).

The next time you are heartbroken over feeling rejected, remember that Jesus experiences those emotions alongside you, especially when you are rejected for your faith and/or for who God created you to be. You don’t have to listen to the voices who tell you that you’re not good or worthy enough. Remember what Gods calls you — His precious, beloved child. You will always, always belong to Him the moment you accept His love into your heart.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. ²Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.
1 John 3:1-2

Home

Hope for when home feels out of reach.

What does the word “home” bring to mind?

Perhaps feelings of comfort and coziness or memories of family and friends. Though it may also conjure up feelings of loneliness and disappointment, or even uncertainty and despair.

Do you currently have a place you call home? Maybe your basic needs are met, but you don’t feel nurtured or attached to where you live. Or perhaps you are in a nomadic season, seeking out this place that feels so far out of reach.

As a person in my early 20’s, I am living out a crucial period where my peers and I are exploring what home means to us. When you don’t have a permanent place to call home, people often give the advice that “home” is not a building but a sense or a group that makes you feel at home.

Shifting gears for a moment, many of us who grew up attending Sunday School have heard or even acted out the parable of the two builders. One builds his house on sand while the other uses a solid foundation, rock. However, for the first time, a key element of this story stood out to me today.

Let’s read the passage together:

As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I [Jesus] will show you what they are like. ⁴⁸They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. ⁴⁹But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.
Luke 6:47-49 (NIV)

These men weren’t constructing just any old building. They were building a house, a home likely for them and their families.

We are, in many ways, like these builders, especially if we are seeking out a sense of home. We crave consistency, comfort, and peace in a chaotic world.

When we place our sense of home in a group of people, even family, or in a specific place or building, we are likely going to be disappointed or hurt. People are susceptible to brokenness and can never be healthy 100% of the time. Natural disasters or violent outside forces have a way of shaking up the faith we place in earthly foundations.

But Jesus, He will never change. Jesus is pretty clear that He is the reason why the house built on rock flourishes through every storm that comes its way. He remains steady and faithful, our source of courage, strength, and comfort throughout any storm.

I’m certainly not trying to bash you for having attachments to people and places. In fact, I think it’s a wonderful sign of living out God’s call for intentional community and hospitality when we are able to grow alongside others and appreciate the gifts God has given us, such as a place to call home.

This simple reminder that Jesus is our home is meant to give you hope for the inevitable moments of loneliness and instability that come your way. Jesus wants to be our home, and this generous gift can be ours when we put our faith and trust in Him. Spend time getting to know Jesus, obey His words, and remain steadfast in faith even when the world teeters on collapsing.

You no longer need to search for home. Home is here with open arms, ready to embrace you and love you better than anyone else ever could. You are never alone. ❤

Lord, You have been the place of comfort for all people of all time. ²Before the mountains were born, before You gave birth to the earth and the world, forever and ever, You are God.
Psalm 90:1-2 (NLV)

The Power of Reversing

Reorienting our self-talk to be centered on God’s promises for us.

Isn’t it funny how the same words can mean one thing if read from top to bottom and mean the opposite if read from bottom to top?

That’s the magic of reversible poetry, which has been my favorite puzzle recently. For reference, here is an example I wrote last night:

This is where your journey lies

Restarting here

Washed-up dreams,

Lonely crevices

Emptiness and despair

You no longer know

Audacious hope,

This joy inside

It abandons you.

Don’t ever believe

Inspiration will find you.

Rather disparaging, until read like this…

Inspiration will find you

Don’t ever believe

It abandons you.

This joy inside

Audacious hope,

You no longer know

Emptiness and despair

Lonely crevices

Washed-up dreams,

Restarting here

Is where your journey lies.

Sometimes, our self-talk sounds a bit like the first poem. It may beat us down, telling us that there is no hope, and that all the problems around us are a result of God abandoning us. However, God’s voice says the opposite.

While the world constantly tells us that we are alone, the Holy Spirit dwells in us, reminding us over and over through peace that we are never alone. When we see others who live out our dreams and fantasies, the inner critic prompts us to compare ourselves in shame. But God reminds us that we are chosen and created on purpose. Our stories are still being written. We have reason to be hopeful.

The frustrating part is that our inner critic, often the voice of the enemy, shouts and screams while the voice of God tends to be gentler. We have to listen for it. But the good news is that the enemy is not very creative. Often, he merely reverses the promises of God into lies that make us feel betrayed and abandoned.

Today, write out the frequent phrases or words that spin around in your head and cause you grief or anxiety. Then, write the reverse of them.

For example, my mind often tells me that I am forgotten. However, the truth is that I am remembered and predestined by God to do His amazing work.

Then, read through your Bible, or use an online Bible resource (such as Biblegateway) to look up the key words in your phrases and see what the Bible says specifically about your situation. More often than not, you will be able to slowly overcome these lies and realize that there is so much more ahead for you.

God’s got you in His hands. You are never alone. ❤

And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

²⁸And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ²⁹For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.
Romans 8:27-29

What Should Sharing the Gospel Feel Like?

Encouragement and advice for those who want to share their faith in a way that blesses others.

Evangelical Christianity leaves different tastes in everyone’s mouths, depending on their experiences. For some, it’s a hopeful and energetic taste, like crisp apple. For others, it’s a comforting taste, like smooth honey. But for many, unfortunately, it leaves a bitter or tart taste.

There are many reasons for the unpleasantness surrounding “Evangelical Christianity”, but at the core of them all is this: the sharer of the Word did not fully understand or appreciate the meaning and feeling of the gospel.

As someone who grew up, and remains, in an evangelical denomination, I still believe it is important — vital, life-giving even — to share the gospel. However, our mindset and intentions are essential to whether or not sharing the gospel blesses unbelievers.

So…What should Sharing the gospel feel like?

For my birthday one year, I was given a generous box of beautifully arranged sweets. Each set within the box was so delicately arranged, almost too adorable to eat.

My first inclination was to share these sweets with people in my life. I knew it would bring them joy, and sure enough, whenever I shared them, the receiver’s face lit up with delight.

While there are certainly difficult and painful aspects of being a follower of Christ (and they shouldn’t be sugarcoated), the heart of the gospel is one of joy. It is a gift to be able to have the Holy Spirit with us in each moment. It is astounding to comprehend that Jesus loves us so much, He died for us. And it’s even more incredible to realize the God we worship is powerful enough to overcome everything, even death.

When you share the gospel, remember that you are extending a gift to someone else. You are offering it, not forcing it or manipulating it into their hands. And their hands must be open to receive.

You never know what someone will do with a gift you give them. They may toss it aside and forget about it. They may dig it up years later, when they are ready, and be touched by it. They may hold it close to their hearts and be transformed by it. Perhaps they will be spurred on to share it with others. And of course, there’s always the possibility that they may reject it entirely.

Your role changes once the gift has been given. Depending on your relationship with this person, you may walk alongside them, loving them and answering questions that are posed to you. Or your role may be over once the gift has been given.

Perhaps it will be years before the person truly receives your gift, but your job is not to speed up the process or push them into a decision. And sometimes, we aren’t called to share the gospel in certain situations.

What, you might be thinking, how is that biblical at all?

This month, I’ve been rereading Acts, and I stumbled upon this passage, which surprised me, but over time made sense:

Paul and his companions traveled throughout the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word in the province of Asia. ⁷When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to. ⁸So they passed by Mysia and went down to Troas. ⁹During the night Paul had a vision of a man of Macedonia standing and begging him, “Come over to Macedonia and help us.” ¹⁰After Paul had seen the vision, we got ready at once to leave for Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them.
Acts 16:6-10

Paul is the definition of a gospel-spreader, in many ways. He devoted his life to it. Even so, the Holy Spirit prevented him from speaking to certain groups of people. That doesn’t mean these people weren’t loved less by God, but perhaps their hearts weren’t ready or hearing the gospel at that time would’ve hurt their faith rather than helped it. I’m sure you can think of moments in history when the gospel wasn’t shared in a helpful or loving way.

There are three really important things to remember before sharing the gospel:

Feel a clear prompting from the Holy Spirit. This can look like, but isn’t limited to, having an unbeliever come into your life/mind repeatedly, feeling a strong sense during prayer or when reading the Bible, or being in the present moment with someone and feeling the nudge to share.
Share your story. Of course, you aren’t obligated to give out your personal testimony to every person you see. However, when you share about the gospel, it’s important to highlight how God has transformed your life. Why is this message important to you? What circumstances in your life cause you to want others to experience God too?
Bless others with your words and actions. The message of Jesus is a blessing for us to receive and to share. We must give from a full heart, spending time enriching our own faith and being among a community of believers. We cannot share the gospel in a compelling way when we are deprived in our own spiritual life. View this gift Jesus has given us as a blessing rather than an obligation or a burden to carry.

I pray that as you are sent off this Sunday, you remember how much Jesus loves you. His power is within you, so you do not have to fear when the time will come for you to share His powerful testimony. Your life alone is a testimony to God’s faithfulness.

To you, Lord, I called;
    to the Lord I cried for mercy:
⁹“What is gained if I am silenced,
    if I go down to the pit?
Will the dust praise you?
    Will it proclaim your faithfulness?
¹⁰Hear, Lord, and be merciful to me;
    Lord, be my help.”

¹¹You turned my wailing into dancing;
    you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
¹²that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
    Lord my God, I will praise you forever.
Psalm 30:8-12

Celebrations and Reintroductions!

Celebrating the 4-year anniversary of The Will to Wake Up!

Happy 4-year anniversary to The Will to Wake Up!

Whether you are new to this community or you’ve been here since the beginning, I am so incredibly grateful for you. I can’t believe how much has changed in my life and my perspective since I began this blog, and I hope that it’s brought you much joy and comfort along the way.

As we celebrate together, I will share a few reflective journaling prompts for you, and a reintroduction to this blog and me!

A Little About Me and This Blog

I actually began this blog during a rough season in my life. On September 21st, 2019, it felt like the whole world was crashing down. My heart was shattered by multiple experiences, and I didn’t want the darkness to creep in. The light that came out of that darkness was God prompting me to start this blog. I realized the most important thing to know when you’re going through a tough time is that you’re not alone. This blog is meant to be a reminder that there is a reason to wake up each new morning. God is our will to wake up. With Him and each other, we are never alone.
Over the past two years, I’ve been pursuing a degree in creative writing. Becoming a writer has been my dream for my whole life. I feel most connected to God when He inspires me creatively. During that time, I’ve experimented with different writing mediums, such as self-publishing an encouraging picture book, submitting a screenplay to a drama competition, and working on my first real novel. There is also now a Youtube channel connected to this blog as God has inspired me recently with filmmaking. I don’t know where God will take me next, but I’m excited to find out!
Other passions of mine include photography, working with horses and kids, and spending time in God’s creation. With every sunset, I am reminded of how we are meant to be still in God’s presence. He loves us enough to add beauty to our lives and be there with us through it all.
Here are the top three things I’ve learned since the creation of this blog:

Courage is not the absence of fear. It’s being afraid and doing the right thing anyway. We may not always feel courageous, but that’s okay. Following God’s will wherever it takes us is an incredibly brave act on its own.
Every person is meant to teach us something. While they may only be in our lives for a season, cherish them for that season. Listen to them with respect, even if you don’t agree. If you do, you will come out of that relationship a stronger person.
Rest is essential to our wellbeing. Rest can take many forms, but it often involves setting boundaries, prioritizing our mental and spiritual health, and being willing to disappoint some people. But the fruit of rest is joy and peace, which are so worth it.

Reflective Journaling Prompts:

How have you changed in the last four years?
What is one thing you are proud of since 2019?
What is one thing you would’ve done differently since then, and what will you learn from that?
What is one way you can pursue rest this week?
Who is a person who has brought you joy recently? How can you express your gratitude towards them?
What valuable lesson has helped you in life? Who taught it to you?
What is one thing you are afraid to do, but know you should do? What is one step you can take today towards that goal? (Remember, it is okay to pace yourself. You don’t have to accomplish everything in one day.)
What do you want to tell God today?
And finally, what do you hope is true about your future or outlook a year from today, when we celebrate our 5-year anniversary? 🙂

Thank you again for being here. You are so needed and loved. Have a blessed rest of your Thursday! (How fitting our anniversary falls on a Thursday this year, our day of encouragement!) ❤

“They will be my people, I will be their God. I’ll make them of one mind and heart, always honoring me, so that they can live good and whole lives, they and their children after them. What’s more, I’ll make a covenant with them that will last forever, a covenant to stick with them no matter what, and work for their good. I’ll fill their hearts with a deep respect for me so they’ll not even think of turning away from me.

Oh how I’ll rejoice in them! Oh how I’ll delight in doing good things for them! Heart and soul, I’ll plant them in this country and keep them here!”
Jeremiah 32:39-41 (MSG)

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)

Sunflowers and Grace

Our God is a God of grace, and He wants to hear from you.

Who doesn’t love sunflowers? Their bright yellow and deep orange petals instantly bring a smile to my face.

Last week, a friend and I visited a sunflower field — which has been on my bucket-list for a LONG time — and included in our ticket was a free sunflower.

An older woman with a stern smile handed us a pair of shears and reminded us it was just one flower per person.

After having an amazing time weaving — or as some of the pictures might suggest, jumping — through the fields, we hunkered down and honed in on each flower, making sure we picked the best ones.

And then all of a sudden my friend goes, “Um…I don’t have the shears. Do you?”

A new hunt began, this time a bit more stressful. After scanning every row and retracing every footstep, we determined that the shears were missing. We practiced what to say, when to offer to pay for a new pair, wishing we had somehow brought an extra pair of shears with us.

The woman at the stand was waiting when we were finally ready. I expected a lecture, or at the very least an expectation that we’d go back and search some more or pay for what we had lost.

But instead, as my friend explained what happened, the woman’s face softened and she replied, “Oh, don’t worry. They always find lost shears during their night runs.” And she even trusted us with a new pair so that we could claim our precious sunflowers, which now had even more value to us. (In case you were wondering, we didn’t lose the extra pair of shears 🙂 )

This interaction reminded me of what it can be like to approach God after we’ve done something wrong.

It’s so tempting to avoid talking to Him because we’re afraid of His anger or expectations. But God wants to hear from us, and we are often most vulnerable when we admit our mistakes.

In fact, we miss out on many blessings when we don’t come to Him. Just as my friend and I wouldn’t have been able to bring home our beautiful flowers without that woman’s grace, we also miss out on beautiful opportunities when we don’t ask for God’s grace. And God’s grace is limitless.

I also know we never would’ve gone back to that farm if we hadn’t admitted that we lost the shears. The memory of an otherwise fantastic day would’ve been tainted with regret and shame. Our conscience — or rather, the Holy Spirit — is there to help us create a life that’s beautiful to remember, even the hard parts or the times when we mess up.

Going to God with everything on our hearts allows us to have a deeper relationship with Him. We are most able to receive His gifts of mercy, forgiveness, and understanding when we are off our soapboxes and on our knees in prayer, truly needing what only God has to offer.

Growing in our relationship with God is the biggest blessing of all. I hope today, no matter what’s on your heart, you’ll go to God with it all. His grace will meet all your needs.

But [God] said to me,“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10 (NIV)

When Love Means Letting Go

Relationships can be beautiful, but temporary, like sunsets.

Where I live, it’s beginning to feel like fall. Leaves burn red and orange, the familiar pitter-patter of raindrops splat against my windshield, and there’s a sense of change in the air. Fall is a time for new beginnings, fresh starts, and letting go.

I saw a quote today encouraging us to view relationships like sunsets. Enjoy their beauty while they are here, but accept that they don’t always last forever.

During a recent trip, I was determined to see the sunset every night. On the first night, we happened to be at the beach just in time for sunset. The experience was peaceful, relaxing, and glorious.

The next day, I frantically ran through the streets in search of an entrance to the coastline, desperate for the sunset. We caught the fading remains just as the sun sank behind the puffy purple clouds.

On the third day, with the bold declaration that we wouldn’t be late this time, I set up camp a half hour early, waiting and waiting for the sun to set. This resulted in a headache from being under the direct sun, fire ant bites, and momentarily losing my travel companion. While the sunset was beautiful, it wasn’t quite so relaxing.

Finally, on our last day, I told myself that if I was meant to see the sunset, I would see it. The timing worked out perfectly. Right after dinner, we happened to be next to a beach access just as the sky turned tangerine and pale pink. We were able to bask in the beauty of the sunset without any strains or burdens.

Relationships truly can be like sunsets. When they evolve naturally, they are beautiful and comfortable. Even when they are challenging, they provide growth and insight. But when we force relationships to outlive their lifespan or stay just as they are because we aren’t ready to change, we begin to feel exhausted, frustrated, and lonely.

I’m someone who has trouble letting go of people. When I become friends with someone, I like to go deep and create a meaningful bond. However, letting go can be an act of love. It doesn’t mean you have to stop caring or praying for a person. But it may mean taking a step back, reevaluating the relationship, or saying goodbye altogether.

Even Jesus set boundaries with His disciples. He became close to them through His earthly ministry, and when He knew they were ready to share the gospel, He sent them off as He went up to Heaven. Perhaps they wouldn’t have grown in courage and boldness if Jesus had stayed. When they missed Jesus, He told them that the Holy Spirit would be their helper, someone with them at all times, living inside of them. That gift is even greater than having Jesus physically here with us.

Letting go of loved ones (or perhaps people who are in your life who you’re struggling to like) can be opening a door to a better future. It’s not that you are harming them — in fact, you are participating in their growth and freedom. But perhaps the dependency you have on each other keeps you from fully living into your calling or your dependency on Jesus.

I pray that if you are feeling led to let go of someone in your life, you are able to do it in love and leave the situation with peace. Trust that even if one relationship is ending, there are so many more people out there for you to meet and bless. You are not alone. ❤

But now I am going to him who sent me. None of you asks me, ‘Where are you going?’ ⁶Rather, you are filled with grief because I have said these things. ⁷But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. ⁸When he comes, he will prove the world to be in the wrong about sin and righteousness and judgment: ⁹about sin, because people do not believe in me; ¹⁰about righteousness, because I am going to the Father, where you can see me no longer; ¹¹and about judgment, because the prince of this world now stands condemned.

¹²“I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. ¹³But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. ¹⁴He will glorify me because it is from me that he will receive what he will make known to you. ¹⁵All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will receive from me what he will make known to you.”
John 16: 5-15 (NIV)

Understanding Anger Through a Biblical Lens

Anger has often been misunderstood in faith circles, but what if it can be used in a positive way?

Let’s face it: we all get angry sometimes. And unfortunately, the church hasn’t always been a source of clarity or wisdom when it comes to expressing our anger in a healthy way. The pendulum can swing from complete opposers to anger, claiming even the emotion itself is a sin, to others saying it’s completely justified to be angry and bitter all the time. There are many false beliefs about anger that I’ve grown up with and have had to unlearn as an adult. Let’s take a look at what the Bible actually says about anger.

We will get angry

We are human. Anger is a natural emotion we will experience. Jesus Himself experiences anger several times throughout the gospels, particularly when He witnessed injustice or a lack of love. This is why Paul addresses anger in Ephesians:

If you get angry, do not sin; do not allow the sun to go down on your anger and do not give an opportunity to the devil.
Ephesians 4:26-27

While we shouldn’t suppress our anger, we also need to be careful not to let it justify bitterness. It’s easy to harbor unkind thoughts towards a person who has wronged us. It’s tempting to seek revenge rather than working towards justice in a healthy way. It’s especially easy to let anger skew our vision to the point where we can no longer view another person or group of persons as truly human, made in God’s image.

And the moment we allow bitterness to prevent us from seeing others as God sees them, the devil has the opportunity to turn us away from love.

Anger and Forgiveness

The number one way our relationship with God suffers is when we are unable to experience His forgiveness. God forgives all our sins when we come to Him and repent, but Jesus has strong words about how we must transform from His mercy.

For if you forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others their offenses, neither will your Father forgive your offenses.
Matthew 6:14-15

It’s not wrong to be upset, hurt, and even angry when other people wrong us. However, anger isn’t a stagnant state to live in. Anger is a step towards healing. As we process our anger, we need to open our hearts towards forgiving the person who hurt us.

We are not “earning” salvation this way. We are also not expected to instantly forgive someone without working through our hurt feelings. However, this stipulation is in place because as followers of Christ, we must become more like Him. Can any sin against us be greater than the sins God has forgiven of all people?

Ultimately, God knows that bitterness draws us away from others, from Him, and from love. Therefore, by commanding us to forgive, He is helping us live the best life possible.

*Side note: Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. It means not resenting our offenders and being released from the burden of bitterness. Forgiveness also doesn’t mean enabling others to continue to do harm. Giving honest feedback and seeking justice are important actions to take in painful situations and are supported in the Bible. Be sure to do everything out of a heart of love.

The reason why we’re angry matters

Anger actually rages rampant in the gospels, particularly in Jesus’ relationship with the religious leaders (ironic, isn’t it?). However, the source of Jesus’ anger in His relationship with them is different than their anger towards Him.

In one instance, the religious leaders are testing Jesus by asking if He will heal a man with a shriveled hand on the Sabbath, which they deem a sin. Jesus replies, “Is it lawful on the Sabbath to do good or to do evil, to save life or to destroy it?”. The leaders respond with silence. Then, Jesus “look[s] around at them in anger, grieved at the hardness of their hearts,” and restores life to the injured man (Mark 3:4-6).

It’s clear that Jesus’ anger comes from His love for all people. He’s angry that His own beloved children are choosing religious rituals over loving others. He’s frustrated that they still don’t understand. Perhaps He’s upset by the injustices the man with the shriveled hand has experienced. He’s not only angry, but He’s deeply grieved by this situation.

Meanwhile, in this same story (but recorded by a different author), after the man is healed, the religious leaders were “filled with senseless anger and began discussing with one another what they might do to Jesus” (Luke 6:11).

The word for “senseless” in Greek is “ἄνοια”. Additional meanings of this word are “want of understanding”, “folly”, “rashness”, and “madness”.

Their main reason for being angry at Jesus throughout the gospels is their fear of losing control and power. This selfish anger causes them to commit further sin, aiding in the murder of Jesus.

Pride, jealousy, insecurities, and fear often drive our anger. In those circumstances, it’s important to pause before acting and ask ourselves whether we are allowing our anger to cause us to become someone we weren’t created to be.

Anger is powerful

It saddens me that we don’t talk about anger more often in church. It’s not something to be taken lightly or ignored altogether. When we allow anger to control our lives, it often means it’s not from God. It can drive us to hurt others and ourselves.

But anger can also be powerful in a positive way. When we feel anger from God, such as anger about injustice, brokenness in our world, or pain someone is experiencing, we may be more driven to help others or to show empathy. Anger can cause us to care, perhaps in the same way Jesus cares for us, out of deep love.

The next time you feel angry, ask yourself what the seed of this anger is? If it stems from love, perhaps it’s time to act on it. If it stems from bitterness or selfish motives, ask God to help you work through this anger and see the situation in a godly way.

No matter where your anger comes from, bring it to God. He isn’t afraid of your feelings. I believe it even delights Him when we trust Him enough to be vulnerable with our deepest, scariest, and most powerful emotions.