Encouragement – Page 36 – The Will to Wake Up

The One or the Ninety-Nine

How often do you care about doing the “right” thing above all else?

I don’t know about you, but for most of my life, I’ve tried doing the “right” thing. And I have a lot of concern for the people who don’t seem to be doing the “right” thing. I spend a lot of time worrying about them and their relationship with God.

But over the last few days, I’ve been reminded of something so important. It’s often the people who stray away from God who have the best stories, who have that true commitment when they do believe. They are the ones who can later say without an ounce of doubt that Jesus forgives and Jesus saves.

Of course I’m not encouraging you to turn away from God in the hopes that He will call you back again and you’ll have an awesome story to share with people. I think it has to happen naturally, and God wants us to follow His commands and go after the lost sheep with Him.

But I think that remembering how God rejoices over the ones who had to be found in the painful thicket and how God is willing to fight for us can give us hope. We don’t have to feel shame when we have been forgiven. We don’t have to dwell on past mistakes because God uses those to draw us and others closer to Him. We can use our past or present sufferings in order to relate to others and make them realize that we aren’t some elitist group. And we don’t have to worry about the ones who have “gone astray”. We have to realize that it’s not our job telling them what to do or be. We just need to be there for them and pray for them and realize that we may have been one of them.

There are different points in our lives where we are either the “one” Jesus is hunting down or part of the righteous “ninety-nine”. It can be hard being in either category, because sometimes when we are the “one”, we are lost and desperate for something better. But once we are found, there is so much love and celebration!

When we are in the “ninety-nine”, we are growing and becoming the people we were made to be. But it can also feel like we’re stuck in a trap, sometimes it feels like Christianity is just a book of rules and not a real relationship. But if we are able to balance both the way we need to live and our fellowship with Jesus and other believers, we can celebrate no matter what part of the journey we are on.

So today, I hope you can have a little bit of the burden lifted off your shoulders, whether you are feeling as though you can’t get out of a lifestyle without God, or if you are worried about the lost sheep in your life. You can get through this. You can become the person you were made to be. But you need to trust that God has a plan for every one of His children, and it’s just up to you to follow Him and believe.

“And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.'”
~Luke 15:5-6

Don’t Question the Timing

“And if everything does not fall into place at the same time and pace, that does not mean that the years you’ve waited have somehow been a waste. Keep planting, sowing, living and knowing that beautiful things take time..and that’s okay.”
Morgan Harper Nichols

“When you start to feel like things should have been better this year, remember the mountains and valleys that got you here. They are not accidents, and those moments weren’t in vain. You are not the same. You have grown, and you are growing. You are breathing, you are living, you are wrapped in endless, boundless grace. And things will get better. There is more to you than yesterday.”
Morgan Harper Nichols

A lot of times, the timing of events doesn’t feel right. We don’t want to wait. We are angry about things being cancelled. We are disappointed because things coincided or were too far apart to make the difference we wanted. Especially now, with so many things disrupted with the virus.

For those Seniors out there, those retiring teachers, those people who planned a big trip…I am truly sorry for you. It’s got to be really hard. It is really hard. It’s hard for all of us in our own unique ways.

But I think there can be blessings behind the timing of events, too. If we are willing to admit to God’s plan instead of our own.

My amazing friend was supposed to come visit for my birthday, and I was super excited about it. But as the stay at home order extends, that didn’t happen, and doesn’t seem to be likely for at least a month or so. However, my birthday was last week, and now I believe it was God’s timing to have us wait on her visit.

On my birthday, my dog passed away and this friend had a painful health issue arise, which is thankfully healed now. However, if those things had happened during the visit, there would’ve been even more stress, and God is making us wait for a time when He will make it better.

God’s plan is always better than ours. Repeat that to yourself. ALWAYS.

That’s really hard to remember. I struggle with it a lot. I am pretty impatient, and I get frustrated easily with God’s pacing. I was really upset with how things worked out with timing last week, actually. But looking back, I understand it was because God wants me to trust Him and see how He is working through everything.

God’s plan never fails. NEVER. And that’s something that should bring a smile and a sigh of relief to you. A lot of things don’t make sense at the time, but if you look back at other times in your life when things didn’t make sense, you may see how God worked it out in the end.

It’s ok to pray and ask God all your questions. He will listen and He will answer. But just remember that sometimes His answer isn’t what you wanted to hear. However, chances are it’s even better.

I know this was a tough read, and I struggle with doubting God, doubting the timing, and being downright angry with God about things not going the way I want.

But I had a conversation with a mentor of mine a few days ago, and she reminded me that we shouldn’t pray for our will, but for God’s will, because in the end, that’s what we should want if we want the best life possible.

I have faith that you are strong enough to get through whatever storms come in your way. But just remember that you don’t have to go through it alone. God brings us through storms to bring us closer to Him and to those who love us.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”
Ecclesiastes 3:11

Always There

This unfortunately isn’t the best photo I have of Hobi, but it’s one of the only ones I could upload on here. And it was cute how he blended in with everything so…

We had to say goodbye to our sweet boy yesterday night. My life changed with him in it and I am forever grateful. It’s taken some time to process everything, and it will take even more. But I just wanted to share some ways that I have grown as a person through Hobi.

Loyalty

To be honest, when I was a kid I used to want a dog that was fancier. Hobi was plump and quiet. But then I realized what an amazing gift I was taking for granted. Hobi was always there for me, no matter how crazy or weird I was. I am certainly not the most interesting person, but Hobi still chose to spend time with me. He would still be super excited every time I got home and would wander in whenever the door was partially closed. Hobi taught me that if you really love someone, you’re going to be there for them through everything, even the stuff that isn’t pretty.

Peace

Hobi is one of the most tranquil dogs I have ever met. He would sleep a lot, hardly ever barked, and had such a gentle soul. As an Enneagram Nine (whoa for an account originally supposed to be about the Enneagram, I haven’t mentioned it in a while haha), peace is one of our core attributes. I think that if Hobi was a person, he would’ve been a Nine. But he knew how to truly rest and feel content, and those are traits a lot of humans forget these days.

Standing Up for Myself

Hobi was almost as stubborn as he was cute, and that meant that if he didn’t like how he was being treated, he would make a point of leaving or doing something to get the person to stop. It’s hard for me to stand up for myself in a kind way, and Hobi was good at never hurting your feelings, but making sure he was getting what he deserved. (And perhaps more since he was a little spoiled, but he deserved it!)

Hospitality

Hobi wasn’t much of a dog- dog, if that’s a thing haha. He loved people and cats, but not other dogs. However, whenever I had anyone over, he would always run to greet them and give them kisses. It didn’t matter their background or if he had met them before, he just loved everyone and made them feel special. Not many people can show impartiality, so I learned a lot from him about how to make people feel wanted and accepted for who they are.

Being There

I was trying to reflect on my favorite memories with Hobi, and although most of my life was spent with him, I realized that we didn’t “do” a lot together. He was always just there. No matter what. When I was lonely, when I was doubting, when I was feeling like the world wasn’t fair. Hobi was there. And he taught me most of all that a good friend is there, quietly not disturbing anything, but pouring out love in the simplest of ways.

I will love you forever, Hobi. Thank you for everything you did to make my life sweet. You taught me so much and I thank God every day for having had you in my life. I hope you are doing well in Heaven and eating lots of steaks! I miss you ❤

“God is our refuge and strength, a helper who is always found in times of trouble. Therefore we will not be afraid, though the earth trembles and the mountains topple into the depths of the seas.”
Psalms 46:1-2

The Three Dollar Tree

Someday, everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.
John Mayer

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”
Maya Angelou

We have this tree in our backyard that’s super skinny and used to have barely any leaves. Occasionally we thought it would die because the leaves would turn a burnt color and we wouldn’t have minded terribly since it was only three dollars. But years have passed and now it has grown into a tree that attracts all kinds of birds, with lush leaves and a firm foundation.

A lot of times we feel like the three dollar tree. We feel like our beginnings are what defines us and we feel like giving up. But if we work with what we have and not let our mistakes shape how we present ourselves to the world, then we can grow into a person who brings life to those around us.

It’s easy to feel intimidated by the people who have exciting stories of how they came to faith. Or perhaps it’s the family that has always grown up in the church and seems so strong and stable that cause you to feel insecure. But no matter where you are on your faith journey, you are significant and still growing. No one has reached the end of their growing until they get to Heaven.

In daily life, it can be difficult to see all the wonderful changes and opportunities that are in store for us. It’s easy to look at the day-to-day and feel stuck. I’ve often found myself in that place where I don’t want to be, but I’ve resigned myself to.

But if we look at the bigger picture, we can realize that we don’t have to give up. We don’t have to settle for what’s in front of us. We can realize that we have more in store than what others expect of us.

In times of discouragement, it is vital to remember how loved we are by God and others. If we never forget that, then we can have hope that the same God that planned our lives has an ultimate purpose for us. He isn’t going to settle for some mediocre creation– He’s going to go all out. Because you are special and you were created in a unique way so that you can do something that no one else has done before.

Our only job now is to see what God calls us to do and go for it. Don’t let your fears or insecurities hold you back for the beautiful things that lie ahead.

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
Isaiah 40:31

Trusting God Through Everything

First of all, I’d like to apologize since I was really getting into the groove of posting regularly, just to abruptly stop even though right now is the perfect time to share encouragement (even though I believe every moment is a good time for encouragement), but especially through all of the changes going on in our lives right now with the Coronavirus. People are stressed, worried about catching the virus, losing their jobs, loved-ones getting it, and maybe even how to stay sane while feeling isolated from others.

Before I go on any further, please know that all of you out there are in my prayers. I know that many are going through much severer times than I am right now. I feel very fortunate that my grandparents in Hong Kong are okay, people are trying to do the right thing and stay home to protect others around me, and much of my family is staying employed. However, I know that is not the case for many people, and I am determined to do my part to encourage those who may have hit their rockiest time right now, and if there’s anything I can do for you specifically, let me know.

I recently saw a video from a singer that I follow, and her message was that you can say that you trust someone as much as you want, but you can never truly know if you do until it’s put to the test. You have to have that trust be put into action for it to go into effect.

For example, if your friend claims that you can tell her anything, you won’t really know if you believed that statement until you tell her something personal. Or when a little kid is stuck inside a burning building, he has to demonstrate his trust for his parents by being willing to jump out the window into their arms, knowing that they will catch him.

This virus and all the consequences surrounding it are a test to see if we really trust God.

I have noticed a startling pattern in my life. Often during my hardest times in my relationship with God, the thing that has brought me back has been when I truly had no other option but to trust God, and He’s always been able to pull through. Now, I’m saying this while knowing that a lot of my prayers have not been answered the way I wanted them to. I’m going through some situations with people that are frustrating and some of them have ended up poorly, even if I prayed about them. That doesn’t mean that God isn’t there for me.

I’m also not saying that it’s easy to trust God. It’s been really hard for me lately to trust Him, to be completely honest.

The other day, someone told me that I seemed to have great confidence in my faith. I wish that were true. I am confident that my faith has grown over the years, through difficult circumstances and through kindness poured out from others, or directly from God in the Bible. But you don’t have to be without doubts to trust God. You just have to be willing to not simply think “I trust God”, but to actually apply it in your life. You have to not only pray that God will help you, but stop worrying about it. If you are actively looking for God’s hand in your life, you will find it. That I am sure of.

For all those Disney fans out there, I have to say that one of my all-time favorite scenes is where Aladdin has his hand stretched out to Jasmine and he says, “Do you trust me?” I personally think that this is one of the most romantic scenes in all of the Disney movies I’ve seen because it shows a depth in their relationship and a true conflict that many face in their relationships.

Unlike Jasmine, who barely has any reasons to actually trust Aladdin, we have a multitude of reasons why we should trust God. Take a look at His promises in the Bible. Think about the narrow escapes you’ve made in your own life, or what God’s done in other people’s lives. We have reason to trust God through this difficult time, and others to come.

God is asking you always the same question– “Do you trust me?”

So the question is, are you willing to make the leap of faith to prove your answer?

“But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.”
Psalm 5:11

True Joy = Releasing Control

Returning to Our Regularly Scheduled Program…

So…remember how I said I would be talking about joy as my first “series”? Remember how that was like…five months ago or something? Well, as you can see, I often go off topic and somehow wander back, ha-ha. Anyway, I have been thinking about joy again, so I wanted to pop into this series again, although I’m not sure if my next post will be related to joy, we’ll see.

Inherited Control-Freakness

I come from a long line of control freaks. I’m not being judgmental when I say this, they are self-proclaimed. I, myself, am also a bit of a control freak. I might not seem like it on the surface level, because I tend to go along with what other people want and I try to be flexible because I care deeply about pleasing others. However, I am actually quite stubborn, and I inwardly panic whenever things don’t go the way I plan.

I am more like this when I am placed in leadership positions or just when planning my own life, but my family often tries to control one another. A certain member of my family sets out what the other person must eat for lunch each day, and gets irritated if that person does not eat it. Money, food, how a room is decorated…those are just a few things that I often have to argue about with my family because I get frustrated with them trying to control me.

Am I saying that planning is a bad thing? NO!!!! I am definitely not, because you should be prepared and it’s silly to go into situations and build more stress for yourself if you don’t prepare. However, I am saying that at some point, the only way to have full faith in God and in His plan for your life is going along with “God’s flow”.

Going with the Flow

So I have this friend, and we occasionally talk about the future. Every time, he repeatedly states how he just “goes with the flow” and acts like he has no control over his life. Later on, I talked to another guy and he basically said the same thing. I feel like the world is often split into two groups: The Planners and the Floaters. Neither are wrong, yet neither are right.

Going with the flow may appear to relieve more stress and show more faith in God. But God will only work with you if you’re willing to actually, you know, do your part? Frankly, I feel like going with the flow in ALL areas of your life might actually add more stress because you often step into situations and are faced with a bunch of decisions that have to be made on the spot. I am horrible at that, so I could never float through life that way. However, there are definitely decisive people out there, so if that works for you, I’m glad.

The combination of going with the flow and always being prepared is going with God’s flow. I know that sounds a little silly, but that’s the only name I can think of that accurately depicts what I’m speaking of.

Going with God’s flow means that you are trusting God and not freaking out when things don’t go the way you anticipated. However, it also means that you are willing to work hard and still prepare for the future, not just expecting things to somehow work out.

How Does this Relate to Joy?

Have you ever stressed over something, an event perhaps, that you were in charge of. You were so panicked that by the end of it, you wanted to just go away and never be in charge again? While others enjoyed themselves, you spent the night stressing over everything and worrying that things weren’t going to work out. In that situation, you are missing out on having a good time, or experiencing joy.

In another situation, you may have planned every last detail down to the tablecloth design and then everything still ends up going poorly. Believe me, this has happened to me on numerous occasions and I can feel your pain! But because you were so disappointed and discouraged, you never took the time to learn from the experience. And in a way, this also causes you to lose joy because you may end up making the same mistakes in the future.

I don’t believe that joy and fear can coexist, as I stated in a previous post, and trying to control everything is a way of demonstrating fear. It’s basically telling God to His face that you don’t trust Him and you think you know more than Him.

Ouch, that wasn’t what I was thinking when I freaked out over not being able to decide the location for my last meeting, was I?

It’s easy to not realize what our little habits are doing to destroy our lives and our relationship with God. But the more ingrained these thought patterns become, thinking “oh, if only things had gone the way I had planned” or getting angry with people, the more we lose track of who we are supposed to be: joyful humans who are sharing the love of God. It’s easy to let negative thoughts fill our heads. We think that criticizing ourselves for something we can’t control is okay, and it’s not. That is ultimately shaping our actions and our opinions of ourselves.

So today, try to let loose a little bit and see what happens. Trust God and believe that even if things don’t go exactly the way you want, maybe something better was actually waiting for you. It hopefully will also help your relationships too.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”
~Matthew 6:25

The Painful Thing About Pain…and How We Avoid It

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”
-Corrie Boom

Common Misconceptions

As a Nine, I have often been told that we procrastinate, over sleep, and become overly obsessed with our couch and Netflix. However…that’s not really the case for me. I get up at a early/reasonable time pretty easily (except on a few rare occasions), I used to despise sleeping as a child because I thought it wasted away the day, and I am usually too stressed about deadlines to procrastinate. (Can’t say too much about the TV problem when it comes to the Flash though…) That made me question my Nine-ness when I was first learning about the Enneagram. However, I learned to realize that sleeping meant more than just laying down. It meant all the times I daydreamed about false realities to comfort myself, all the times I actually made myself more busy in order to avoid other tasks, and all the times that I mentally blocked myself from accepting the truth. I have heard experts talking about this as the not physical “sleep” Nines often take part in. This might be a coping mechanism for you too, and I want to help us both figure out another way to deal with pain.

Our Reasons Why

People without this habit might often wonder why we feel like this does anything to help the situation. Some might guess that it’s so we can feel instant happiness instead of dealing with the long awaited troubles. Honestly, I feel like it’s beyond the instant gratification. If you’re anything like me, the last thing you want to do is be a burden to other people. I may not be a Two in the sense that I try to go out of my way to do things for other people (even though I do try to sometimes), but if I can keep my feelings and problems to myself, then I feel like I won’t worry someone. Or better yet, that I never have to find out that my problems DIDN’T concern anyone else. Slightly off topic but I feel like a huge Nine fear is that we don’t matter to anyone else. (I’ll touch on this subject in a future post). But feeling the pain of that or other things ranging from loneliness to confrontation are the things that make us inwardly shut down even if we are outwardly getting everything done. Another thing that may be a factor in how we handle difficult things is the fact that although we may appear calm on the outside, we are having a constant panic cycle going on inside. It’s not always there, but when a stress arises, we still want to hold control and our way of getting “control” is by turning off the things that are in our way.

The Hard Truth

I’m sure that everyone already knows this, but it’s an important reminder: eventually, the thing that we’re avoiding is going to happen, whether we like it to or not. We might be able to stall something, but that could make it escalate into an even greater problem or at the very least, it will still occur.

However…

We do not have to let these problems become what we have made them to be in our heads. At least for me, the more I think about things, the harder it is for me to take action. I analyze what could go wrong, how people will react, and how hard it could be to do. But if we just go out and face our problems, then we can finally move on. Moving on is so hard for me, whether it be in relationships or from certain feelings. I tend to cling onto what I know. However, the best way to move on is to address the issue right away and then be able to have peace about the situation. And we Nines love peace, don’t we? 🙂 And the important thing to remember is that we don’t have to go through hard things alone. When I see my friends going through things, all I want them to know is that I’m there for them. The important thing for us is to have those people in our lives, who are willing to actually listen and pray for us.

A Few Tips

First of all, remember that no matter what, it’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to take some time for yourself to reflect on the situation, to pray, and to find comfort. It’s even okay to take a while to process what happened. But then there has to be a time of taking action and letting go.

As for some tips for processing things, here are some that have helped me:

Taking a long, quiet walk
Journaling (Either prayer journaling or just journaling your thoughts and feelings)
Talking things out with a close friend or family member (sometimes it’s better to do it with someone who is unrelated to the situation so that they do not have a bias or can give new insight)
Making a playlist that helps you (I have a few songs that give me comfort, and when I’m going through a rough time, they have really helped me get perspective)
Making a list of what hurt you specifically so that you can address those things and not make the situation bigger than it really is
Making a list of positive people or events in your life that you are thankful for

In Conclusion…

I one hundred percent understand how hard it is to deal with things that feel out of control and it’s easy to slip into that “sleepwalking through life” mentality. But if you do that, then you will miss the good as well as the difficult. Just know that the pain isn’t going to last forever, and if you have made it this far, you have the strength to get through it. Thanks for reading this, and let me know if this was any help. I hope you all have a blessed day!