courage – The Will to Wake Up

Let Yourself Feel Joy

Do you avoid hoping for fear of disappointment?

It’s so easy to allow fear to steal away the best moments of our lives.

Fear may come in the form of rationality or jadedness. Perhaps we just “know” that things never stay good for long. And what do we expect, in this broken world?

But if we never allow ourselves to feel joy, then what are we living for?

You may feel stronger by not getting your hopes up. By saying that things always end up in disappointment. By not being surprised when hard times come.

But what if that isn’t strength? What if that’s giving into fear?

Fear of not being in control of your life. Fear of not truly knowing how long good things will last.

We can’t experience joy until we fully accept that we aren’t in control.

It’s a hard truth to come to grips with, especially in the face of so many tragedies, both in our personal lives and in the world. The ache of disappointment. The heartbreak of rejection. But holding onto a false sense of security only hurts us.

And most of all, it robs us of the beauty life can bring.

So, how can we fully experience joy?

By making the most of the little things. By taking each day as it comes. By not judging yourself too hard when you feel yourself regressing or not living up to the impossible standards society demands of us.

It’s okay if you don’t feel happy today. But you don’t have to be happy to feel grateful. Grateful that the sun still rose today. Grateful for the people who are always there for you. Grateful for a moment to rest.

Expect disappointment, and that’s what you’ll get. But hope for something more? Then you’ll surely have a higher chance of finding joy.

The truest source of joy comes from Jesus, who never changes. His plans are far greater than anything we could ever imagine. While we may be disappointed in the moment, Jesus promises that our lives aren’t wasted. He will restore our joy. ❤

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13

Carrying Courage, Abandoning Shame

What should you save and let go of as we head into the new year?

To this day, I absolutely love scented body wash. When I was growing up, I loved my body wash so much that I refused to use up a bottle. When there was about 1/4 left, I’d stash the bottle under the sink and find a brand new one.

I’m not entirely sure the logic behind this scheme. Seeing the bottle collect mold and dust didn’t enhance my shower experience. In fact, I felt wasteful as I tossed several disgusting bottles away years later. Yet there was a part of me that felt I had to save the remains of each bottle just in case I’d need it later.

Now, this story may seem a little ridiculous, but hear me out. As we head into 2022, we are all carrying more than we should. I don’t just mean in terms of our possessions, though a new year’s cleaning may be therapeutic 🙂 We are carrying too much in our hearts.

Have you been walking around with a lifetime of broken memories and scars from the wounds of others? Have you been harboring resentment towards others who still don’t seem to be worthy of forgiveness? Perhaps you are saving the fragments of a mistake in order to get what you want.

Our mind lies to us, telling us that we can’t be better than this place we’re in. The darkness in our hearts that emerges when we harm ourselves or others, even internally, forms a block in our path. We can’t move forward like this.

Whether you are ashamed of your past or you are frustrated by someone else’s mistakes, I encourage you to let go of shame as you enter this new season. It may not seem “fair” to forgive yourself or others, especially if someone got hurt along the way. However, by allowing yourself to accept this generous gift from God, you are released from the chains of hopelessness and despair.

But we shouldn’t walk into 2022 empty handed, right?

It takes great courage to face unknowns, particularly after the past few years we’ve had. Yet we can have courage because God is always with us.

A few weeks ago, I asked my Sunday schoolers what helps them feel less afraid, and they unanimously replied, “Having someone with me.”

We always have someone with us, even when we feel alone and afraid.

Take God with you into 2022. He is the one thing that will never mold or decay, nor get stolen or lost. He will always be waiting to show His love and mercy towards you.

May 2022 be a year full of hope, peace, and patience as we watch our lives unfold according to God’s greater plan. You are here for an incredible purpose, and I believe God will use whatever comes your way to shape you into the person you are designed to be.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
Psalm 46:1-3

Dreaming of a Better Tomorrow

Is there a dream or a passion that you long to pursue, yet fear of displeasing God or others is holding you back?

I’m sure you’ve heard the expression “follow your dreams”. Christians enjoy bashing this phrase because it doesn’t indicate aligning your life with God’s will. While I agree that God’s will should come first in our lives, we also need to realize that our dreams and passions are often from God and should be heard. In fact, we can fall into the trap of using our interpretation of God’s will as an excuse to not go out and do what would make a difference.

How often have you not done something because you thought, “Oh, I haven’t heard explicitly from God that I’m supposed to do this, so it must mean I shouldn’t”?

We limit ourselves when we believe that God’s will fits into a box. If we don’t have the exact qualifications, then we don’t believe we’ll ever be capable. If we don’t have the financial support, then God must be calling someone else with more money.

We use these human excuses to prevent us from actually doing God’s will. We allow our fear of failure diminish the possibility of having an extraordinary legacy.

Here’s the thing: A lot of times, we don’t follow our dreams out of good intention. We think that we can’t enjoy doing God’s will.

Your heart is in the right place. However, I want to free you from this line of thinking.

God has given you your specific gifts and passions for a reason. In the world God created before brokenness entered, there were jobs for people to do, but He made sure they were meaningful. I’ll take the liberty of assuming that Adam enjoyed naming all the animals and Eve appreciated interacting with the creatures of the garden. A portion of their daily life was centered around being with God. That is within our calling as well.

You may be wondering if your dreams are in line with God’s will because certainly there are things that God wouldn’t tell you to do. Here are a few factors I take into consideration when determining whether or not I should pursue a dream:

It does not go against anything in the Bible.
You have a sense of peace, even if the circumstances seem impossible.
You have had people or opportunities that have affirmed this gifting.
After praying about it, some of your fears weaken.
You believe it could make a difference, even if the difference seems small.

God never changes, which means He will always encourage you to do things that bring restoration, hope, love, and truth into the world. Don’t let a dream labeled as “hard” or “unobtainable” discourage you. If something has never been done before, then perhaps you’ll be the first to do it. No one can make the exact same impact as you.

On a more personal note, a dream I’ve had since childhood has been writing books. Clearly I love writing, and over time, my passion for encouraging others has caused this love to deepen. A few weeks ago, God gave me the inspiration and time to create a short story photo book designed to encourage people. After it came together, I felt like God wanted me to publish it.

Yet scrolling through countless advice articles, watching helpful videos, and looking at my bank account, my enthusiasm began to dwindle. I waited for the proof (the author’s first copy) to come in the mail, but I decided it was just too hard and not good enough to publish.

But after showing the book to a few trusted people in my life, I began to sense God leading me towards publishing it again. The thought of bringing hope to others through my writing lifted a burden off my shoulders and ignited a fire within my heart. Once I said yes to the call, doors have begun opening up for me.

I know it won’t be easy. I doubt it will be a bestseller. But if it brings hope and light into at least one life, I know it will all be worth it.

You may not see the fruit of your hard work or the “proof of success” within your dream field. That can be extremely discouraging, but it doesn’t mean you aren’t making a difference. It just means that God is calling you to trust Him. Behind the scenes, He is always working. Nothing is impossible for you with God by your side.

God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged.
Hebrews 6:18

In God’s Hands

Are you burdened by a situation that you know you should place in God’s hands, yet you aren’t sure how to trust God with it? Here is advice and encouragement.

Have you ever felt out of control in either a situation or relationship, and someone gave you the advice, “Just put it in God’s hands” ? It can be really frustrating to get this advice because while it’s well-meaning, it’s hard to know how to put it in God’s hands. And once we figure out how, letting go is extremely difficult as well.

So what does putting something in God’s hands even mean?

This phrase goes hand in hand with the definition of surrender. When we surrender something, we are no longer in control of it. And when it comes to our lives, especially the people in our lives, we are never really in control of them in the first place. Yet we are giving that feeling of being in control to God and trusting Him with it. Sometimes, that process of surrender comes in taking a risk, being proactive in a situation. Other times, it means stepping back and being patient, maybe even letting go and moving on.

Last year, I struggled with giving God a friendship that was burdening my heart. This friend was going through a lot, yet I was unable to communicate with her. I went through seasons of bitterness and anger over what felt unfair, cruel even. I went through times of grief and longing for what used to be. But I wouldn’t–couldn’t–give up. I was determined.

If you know me, you know I’m (in the positive description) perseverant, and (in the negative description) stubborn. Sometimes, that can be a really good thing. But often it makes letting go extremely difficult. Perhaps you can relate to the feeling of failure that comes with letting go. That overwhelming ache of loss.

Yet, in this situation, I felt God beside me, telling me to put this person, who I cared so deeply about, into His hands. And finally, I released her. I put her in His hands and tried to trust that whatever came next would be from God.

Do you ever pray for God to take hold of a situation, and instead of feeling at peace with whatever happens next, you wait for what you want to happen to finally happen? I’ll admit to experiencing this. Sometimes, we’re tempted to just say the right words so that our plan can come into play rather than God’s. Of course, life doesn’t work like that. God knows what’s really going on in our hearts. But it can be awfully disappointing when things don’t go the way we want.

At this point in my story, I was ready to fully surrender my friend. When I prayed those words, I truly meant them. And guess what? For a few short weeks, it felt like it worked. I was miraculously able to get back in touch with her and we picked up right where we left off. We were even going to see each other again. I praised God and thought, “Wow, putting things in God’s hands really does work!”.

But then a painful thing happened between us (which I will spare you the details of) which devastated me. I felt even worse and confused as this person was taken away from me once again. I was upset at God and doubted that putting things in His hands was the right thing to do after all.

And this is where putting something in God’s hands really comes to the test. The key to putting something or someone in God’s hands is trusting Him fully with it. It means when things don’t go the way we want, and even if we are left with disappointing results, we still know that God is in control. We are still trusting that God knows what’s best and that He still cares about everyone involved.

It’s taken me more than a month to come to terms with this. It’s not something that can be done overnight. Putting our lives in God’s hands is a daily process. It starts with dedicating the day to God in the morning, checking in with Him throughout the day, and reflecting with Him at night. It means living out “Thy will be done”, even when things don’t go the way we hope.

And that’s really hard. It’s really hard when it feels like nothing is going right. It’s really hard when we trust God, and it feels like He’s let us down. It’s really hard to know that He’s still here and He still cares when everything is falling apart around us.

But I can promise you one thing–God never changes. The God who has given you everything you have and sacrificed everything out of His love for you is the same God who is waiting to pick up the pieces after you go through the storms of life. God doesn’t want to hurt you, but He wants to help you grow closer to Him. Sometimes that means letting go of people. Sometimes that means stepping out of a situation. Sometimes that means even feeling alone for a season.

However, you are never alone. The reason we can trust God with whatever we’re going through is because He has proven Himself over and over again. Just think, the things that were burdening you a year ago have changed. Perhaps they are even resolved, or on the road to healing. You are growing and changing and developing godly characteristics. We often can only see the single step ahead of us, but God is focused on both the past, the present, and the future.

When we fix our eyes on the end, we can trust God with the steps it takes to get there. So today, give God whatever is burdening you. Allow yourself to rest and find peace in the here and now. And remember that no matter what, what’s ahead is better than what is gone. Don’t give up. ❤

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-7

Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them.
Hebrews 7:25

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7

Why You Don’t Have What You Want

Are you upset right now because you don’t have something that you believe is meant for you? Here is some encouragement.

What is it that you want most in life? A different job? A significant other? A deeper relationship with Jesus?

If I were to ask you why you don’t have that thing, you’d likely come up with a plethora of reasons. Perhaps you don’t believe you’re qualified or attractive enough. Maybe you believe only a theology degree can get you an intimate relationship with Christ.

Though those answers may sound convincing, the truth is, there are two reasons why we don’t have what we want.

The first is pretty self-explanatory: It isn’t meant for us. Sometimes that person who seems perfect is actually the one who would’ve broken your heart had God allowed them to be in your life. Maybe that job isn’t the one that would help you witness to the most people. Whatever the reason may be, Jesus knows it’s better for us to have something or someone else.

The second reason gets a little more complicated: fear.

Did you know that you are at least 20% more attractive than you feel? That’s because we allow ourselves to believe the lie that we aren’t beautiful. In fact, it’s almost easier to believe that we are unattractive than admit that we are created in God’s image. It’s also easier to hide behind the idea that you aren’t good enough or attractive enough to talk to the person you like rather than admit your true feelings.

The same goes for other goals in life. We often say we aren’t qualified rather than go back to school and learn. We would rather say we don’t know than spend time in the Bible finding the answers.

This isn’t laziness– it’s fear.

We fear rejection. We fear conviction. We fear judgement.

I believe that there are two main things that separate people from God: fear and pride. When we cling onto our fears, we forget the truth, that God has a wonderful plan for us and that He can do anything. We believe that we are on our own, with no one there to save us. But actually God has an amazing plan for you and He can use you to do remarkable things.

The saddest thing about fear is that it keeps us from reaching out to others. Have you ever thought about how incredible it felt when someone expressed their appreciation to you or wanted to get to know you? Then how come it’s so hard to reciprocate that action to someone we don’t know very well? Because of fear. We don’t know their reaction.

God doesn’t promise to tell us the results before He calls us to do something. You might experience humiliation or defeat. But in the long run, it will be worth it, because you will have no regrets. You will know that you did what God wanted you to, and that feeling is enough to bring you peace.

Today, ask yourself if there are any practical steps you can take in getting what you want. If God has made it clear to you that this isn’t what’s right for your life, then step away and trust that something better is in store. But if God is calling you to take a leap of faith, then do it. Reach out, share your feelings, learn something new.

We can’t comprehend the incredible things God is doing through us. That’s why we just have to take it on faith and trust the results with Him.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
1 John 4:18

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34

The Power of Vulnerability

Do you view being vulnerable as a strength or weakness?

In 2003, a young boy and his family experienced a life-altering event that would impact many lives around the world. Colton, the child, had an emergency surgery that doctors were amazed he survived through. While in surgery, he temporarily died and was able to be in Heaven. During the time when the doctors weren’t sure if he’d make it, Colton’s father, a pastor, poured his heart out to Jesus to save His son. He wept and he screamed and he demanded that life be restored.

In an interview with Colton and his dad, they were asked why Colton wanted to come back to Earth after having such a wonderful experience with Jesus in Heaven. Colton responded, “I knew that I was leaving Heaven because Jesus came to me and said, ‘Colton, you need to go back’…He said he was answering my dad’s prayer.” That prayer happened to be the outburst made when all hope was lost. When choice words were used, when hurt was exposed, when life seemed bleakest.

I so often wonder what we lose when we don’t expose our full selves to God. Obviously He knows every part of us, but He honors it when we trust Him enough to bring those parts to Him by our own will. Yet it’s so tempting to believe that because Jesus is our Lord and Savior, the all-knowing, perfect One, we must only bring the best parts of us to Him.

Yesterday, I was privileged enough to hear the testimony of a new pastor at our church. Despite having only been with us for three months and not evening knowing us in-person yet, she shared many trials and tragedies from her spiritual journey. She was open, vulnerable, and relatable. That was the beauty of her story. Not the wonderful articulation of it or even finding the perfect Bible passage to close, though those were also true. No, it was when she created a space of both healing and grief, of brokenness and restoration.

How often do we miss out on the opportunity of being a better leader or friend or family member because we feel the need to put on an act. Vulnerability is associated with being weak, but being vulnerable is actually a great strength. It requires conquering the fear of judgement first. We often believe we must “have it all together” in order to be accepted, right? Maybe, maybe not.

What if we enter all our relationships with a sense of vulnerability? Not naivety, not blind trust, but rather relatability? The willingness to allow the broken part of our lives inspire and touch others?

Interestingly, the reason I joined this meeting was because of the title, “New Beginnings”. This phrase has popped up in my life time and again over the last six months or so, a sign from God, I believe. I’ve often associated this phrase with the idea of starting with a clean slate, leaving behind the past.

But yesterday I was presented with a new idea. New beginnings doesn’t mean moving past the hurt before we’re ready. It means allowing God to restore and redeem the past, pondering our experiences in a new way.

The best way to accept God’s transformation in our lives is giving the all of ourselves to Him. The broken, the shattered, the weary. The hopeful, the curious, the eager. Everything.

I’m going to close with Psalm 103, which was read during my meeting yesterday. The pastor shared how this psalm means so much to her as it was shared by a friend fighting cancer. It reminds us all of God’s never ending love for us.

1 Praise the LORD, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. 2 Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— 3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, 4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, 5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. 6 The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed. 7 He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel: 8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. 9 He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; 10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. 13 As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; 14 for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. 15 The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field; 16 the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. 17 But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children— 18 with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts. 19 The LORD has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all. 20 Praise the LORD, you his angels, you mighty ones who do his bidding, who obey his word. 21 Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts, you his servants who do his will. 22 Praise the LORD, all his works everywhere in his dominion. Praise the LORD, my soul.
Psalm 103

Source of introduction story: Historyvshollywood.com

Going Off-Course

Taking a lesson from Philip, we’ll be learning how to obey God when He calls us off-course.

As a society, we’ve made the mistake of putting people into categories based on a few personality traits. You’re either an introvert or an extrovert, a planner or a spontaneous person, chill or uptight. Now, obviously based off what my blog was originally created for (the Enneagram), I am not against personality quizzes. I love them! But something we have to keep in mind when categorizing people is making sure we aren’t making assumptions about them based on their “category”.

Now, we all probably can think of the assumptions that come with the most common “either/or” category: Extroverts v.s. Introverts. Technically, the only real difference between the two is that extroverts get their energy from being around people while introverts get it from being alone. But now we just assume extroverts are friendly while introverts are shy; extroverts enjoy late nights while introverts prefer to stay in…you get the idea.

Another common grouping is planners v.s. spontaneous people. Planners are known for being wise, thoughtful, observant. Spontaneous people are fun, flighty, and adventurous. You can’t be wise and spontaneous or fun and a planner, right?

Or can you?

And what should you be if you’re a follower of Christ? Well, the Bible says to be wise, so a planner, right?

Well, let me introduce you to a man named Philip, who may change your opinion on these stereotypes. We learn the most about him in Acts. His two defining characteristics are being wise and attentive to the Holy Spirit. (Getting planner vibes…)

Anyway, he’s on his way to work when the Holy Spirit leads him to go out of his way to approach a complete stranger and share his faith with him. There was probably some part of Philip that said, “Are you crazy? You’re going to be late! You don’t even know this man!” But you know what Philip did? He ran right up to the man and soon struck up a very meaningful conversation which resulted in the man getting baptized right there and then!

How often do your plans get interrupted? Do you react in a way that shows you’re attentive to what God’s trying to tell you? I’ll confess, when my life gets interrupted, I get frustrated. I don’t always immediately obey God. But I once heard that God isn’t interrupting our lives, He’s sending divine intervention.

I hate going into the “What If Zone” because there’s nothing we can do about the past now. But we’ll journey there for just a moment. Can you think of a time when God prompted you to do something that was out of your comfort zone or seemed strange? Did you do it? If not, do you think it would’ve made an impact had you done it?

Like I said, we can’t go back, and that’s okay. God uses wherever we are and whoever we are to make His plans happen. Just consider the amazing impact you could have on the world if you listen to God.

Anyway, back to the story. So, Philip has just baptized the man and suddenly he disappears. Now, why don’t we focus enough on that part of the story? Like, HELLO! Philip disappears?? Then he reappears right where God wanted him to be, back on track.

Obviously he didn’t do that vanishing act on his own. God honored Philip’s obedience and took care of his needs. Philip likely didn’t know that God would help him get there on time, but he trusted that whatever happened next would be okay.

Maybe your life will be okay if you don’t say yes to what God says. But will it be meaningful? Purposeful? Incredible? Probably not. You see, God has all these unfathomable blessings and surprises waiting for us, but we will never see them if we just carry on with our plan and are never open to going off-course for God.

There’s nothing wrong with planning or just letting life take its course. There’s a time for both approaches. Just don’t let either approach cause you to miss out on what God has in store for you.

Today, really listen to God and see what He might be calling you to do. Perhaps there’s been a gentle nudging all along and you’re finally taking the time to listen to it. Whatever your purpose is, I know with God, anything is possible.

Both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water and Philip baptized him. ³⁹When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord suddenly took Philip away, and the eunuch did not see him again, but went on his way rejoicing. ⁴⁰Philip, however, appeared at Azotus and traveled about, preaching the gospel in all the towns until he reached Caesarea.
Acts 8:38-40

I know that You can do all things,
And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.
Job 42:3

The plans of the heart belong to man,
But the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.
Proverbs 16:1

Holy Week Series: When God Feels Far Away

Do you feel like God is silent? Are you struggling to believe in His promises for you? Here is some encouragement.

I once heard a pastor refer to Holy Saturday as the day when “everything was quiet”. The only events that are in the Bible that take place on Holy Saturday are the placement of the guards outside Jesus’ tomb, though I’d guess that the disciples are in hiding at this point and there is still a darkness and emptiness throughout the city. To those who loved Jesus, Holy Saturday probably felt like a terrifying, lonely time of confusion. Where was Jesus? How could He have possibly died this way? What does the future hold?

I’ve often wondered why Jesus rose on the third day. I’m sure someone with a Theology degree could explain all the reasons why the number 3 is important in the Bible, but it still puzzles me. Technically, Jesus could’ve been put in the tomb and suddenly sprung back to life on that same day. The Good Friday really would’ve been “good”, right? No waiting around, no anxious thoughts, no loss of hope.

But you know, I think the reason why Jesus waited three days was to test the faith of His followers. Did they believe that He would rise up again like He promised? Would they be waiting for His return? Or would they be disappointed, frustrated, and scared?

For us, knowing that Jesus did rise up again in a matter of mere days gives us hope. We didn’t have to live through those dark days of waiting. We already know that God had something better planned.

But still, we go through our own dark days where it feels like all hope is lost and God is silent. We cry out to God and wonder where He went. We feel abandoned, disappointed, and fearful. We forget about God’s promises.

The last time I felt this way was a few weeks ago. I felt stuck in my life and concerned about the future. I felt like I couldn’t hear God the way I used to. I lost perspective.

I once was given the wise advice that everything God is doing in the present moment is preparing us for the future. When we remember that God has a bigger plan, we don’t lose our hope when we feel alone. During those moments when we can’t hear God, it’s a test. God is testing us to see if we really do believe His promises. God promises to never leave us. God promises that He will make all things new. Do you believe that?

I’ve come to realize that after every dark season in my life, a wonderful, joyful season comes right after it. It’s like God was preparing me to enjoy and make the most of the season ahead by helping me persevere through the tough times.

Waiting feels like a long time for us because we don’t know when it will end. For us, three days is 72 hours. For the disciples, three days felt like eternity. But when we keep perspective during our times of waiting, we won’t lose our hope and faith. Nothing except eternal life with Jesus will last forever. This dark season will end, I promise. God has something wonderful planned for you. You are needed here.

I can’t tell you when the pain will stop or when you will finally be able to fully experience God’s love and grace. I don’t know what exactly will happen that will give you hope. But you can have that hope now by remembering that God always makes good on His promises. You don’t ever have to worry about God’s plan not working out. Trust me, or rather, trust God’s own words. He will always be victorious in the end. And when we are on His side, we will also win every battle against all the forms the enemy takes against us.

May you be filled with God’s strength and patience through every trial you are experiencing. Amen.

13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
1 Corinthians 10:13

7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7

31 For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your ancestors, which he confirmed to them by oath.
Deuteronomy 4:31

For Such a Time as This

Queen Esther made the choice to trust God and fulfill her purpose, despite her fear. How have you struggled to be courageous?

I’ve often heard people make the excuse “I can’t do this because I’m not a brave person”, like bravery is a personality trait or something. No, it is not. I believe that anyone can be brave. Yes, including you.

Fear is the enemy’s favorite weapon against us. He uses it to trick us into not fulfilling our purposes. God knows that we need encouragement to be brave, which is why He reminds us over 300 times in the Bible to not be afraid. So, if you’re trying to figure out what God wants you to do every day, it’s to get rid of fear!

But the thing is, being brave doesn’t mean we aren’t afraid. We can only be brave when we overcome something we’re afraid of; when we take action despite our fear.

My very favorite female Bible character is Esther. What’s not to love? As a kid, we learned in Sunday school about how brave, devoted, and loyal she was. She’s the model for what a young woman should be, right?

Well, what actually makes me appreciate her even more is that she’s more human than we often make her out to be. Her initial response to her cousin Mordecai’s request for her to stand up for her people, to use her power and position in the best way possible, was not one of eagerness and bravery. She didn’t immediately say, “Yes, I absolutely will risk my life for you all!”

No, she actually told him that she couldn’t do what he requested because she would put her own life in danger. She allowed her fears to get the best of her.

But thankfully, Mordecai didn’t accept that response. He pushed her to step out of her comfort zone in order to fulfill God’s purpose for her, which is what we should do for our loved ones too. He reminded her that she was created for just a time as this.

Even with these words, Esther didn’t immediately take action. She needed guidance from God, more than usual, so she asked Mordecai to tell all their people to fast and pray for her. She agreed to go before the king, but that threat of dying was still in the back of her mind. That fear wasn’t gone, which was apparent in her next course of action.

She came before the king, and instead of bringing up the issue right away, she asked him and Hamaan (the one trying to kill all the Jews) to come to a feast she prepared. Perhaps this was all a part of her plan, or perhaps she was too nervous to tell him what she really wanted right away. Likely it was a little of both. I’m sure we’ve all had that moment where we’ve created a plan of action when trying to do something we’re afraid of doing in order to feel more in control. Making a plan is totally fine as long as we seek God’s wisdom while making it.

It took two feasts before Esther got up the courage to ask the king to spare her people. She did it afraid. She did it after not wanting to earlier. She second-guessed herself and had to create a plan of action before doing what God wanted her to do.

But she still did it and saved her people. She still fulfilled her purpose. She wasn’t any less brave for doing it afraid. Because essentially, she did it.

What’s something God’s calling you to do today? Is fear holding you back from fulfilling your purpose? Remember, nothing is impossible for you when God is your strength. You are put in this situation for just a time as this and you have the same God-given power and abilities Esther received to do what you need to do.

Now’s the time to do it.

For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?
Esther 4:14

But He said, “The things that are impossible with people are possible with God.”
Luke 18:27

Enduring Pain

If you feel stuck, trying to figure out if there is any good that can come from your pain, keep reading.

A random skill that most people wouldn’t know I have is being a pretty good back massager. You heard me right…and you’re probably wondering why you’re still reading!

Well, I’ll get to the point…soon. You know how we Nines love our stories 😉

My mom used to tell people that she had a daughter simply to get free back massages, and a small part of me occasionally wonders if that’s true considering the frequency at which she requests them. As humans age, as you may know from experience, they often experience muscle stiffness. Tonight I was helping my mom get a knot out of her back, and after the allotted time I had agreed to perform this service was up, I asked if she wanted me to continue. She laughed and replied, “I would like that, but I don’t think I can endure the pain.”

This part may not surprise you, if you know me at all. After she said that, I suddenly knew I had to blog. Not about muscles, weird skills, or getting old. But rather, about pain.

About a year ago, one of my first posts was about pain and how many people often use numbing mechanisms to avoid it. Little did I know that throughout this past year, I’ve struggled with dealing with my pain and negative emotions. I often choose to not feel things, but then that includes the positive, happy memories as well.

I think avoiding pain can be one of our biggest mistakes in life. The longer we avoid the pain, the longer we avoid the good that can come out of that pain. God does not take us through difficult seasons without a reason. He knows that there’s something better at the end, but we just have to persevere. And sometimes that means trying something again that may have previously hurt us.

Now, I’m not telling you to go and let people walk all over you. I don’t want you to get into a dangerous situation or go backwards on a process towards good health. But if God is calling you to try something again, whether it’s a relationship, a career, a hobby, or perhaps even just diving back in your Bible, then you should go for it.

We love making excuses as to why we can’t possibly embrace our pain. We tell ourselves that we can’t endure it. And we’re right, we can’t.

At least, we can’t alone.

But God is always with us and He will give us the strength to get through anything.

I’ve seen so many people go through things I could never imagine going through with such bravery. They continue to live for God, they continue to go about their daily lives, and they will still be heroes, such strong people, in my eyes when they admit their pain and sorrow.

Don’t allow fear of people’s reactions to affect how you grieve, whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or a forgotten dream. The ones who are meant to be in your life and really care about you will give you the space to feel what you need to feel.

I know it’s hard trying again. I know it’s hard doing what God calls us to do. I’m not going to sit here and expect you to suddenly change your life or do things that risk heartbreak alone. I’m going to try to get out of my comfort zone and figure out my emotions as well, in a healthy way.

I know that we can both get through whatever life throws at us because we are empowered by our Creator. God loves us and designed us to need Him, and when we turn to Him, we will overflow with His grace, courage, and perseverance.

I’ll be praying for you. Don’t give up. ❤

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:2