Christian – Page 7 – The Will to Wake Up

Fourth Sunday of Advent: God’s Faithfulness

Merry Christmas Eve! As we draw close to Christmas, let’s remember God’s faithfulness, even in the waiting seasons.

Devotional:

Each Christmas, a different set of characters stands out to me, often based on my emotions and experiences from that year. Perhaps you can relate. There are years of abundance and joy, when you feel like the shepherds, ready to share the good news with others. And then there are years of waiting, discouragement, and loneliness. In today’s passage, Simeon and Anna experience the fulfillment of long anticipated promises, though they also provide solace and company in times of sorrow or impatience.

From the start, we learn that Simeon and Anna are both people who have an intimate relationship with God. Simeon has opened his heart and mind to being moved by the Holy Spirit while Anna, being a prophetess, is also used by the Spirit to speak God’s truth. What makes their faith remarkable is the way they’ve grown while experiencing immense trials and disappointments.

I am deeply comforted by these characters, particularly in how they must’ve stood out from the people around them. Simeon must have sounded crazy by being so firm in his belief that he would not die before meeting Jesus, the Messiah. He likely was laughed at by others, especially in religious circles, and made to feel like he didn’t belong. Meanwhile Anna experienced heartbreak right at the point when her life should’ve been at its peak. This led her to spend the rest of her life widowed, likely with many moments of wondering and loneliness.

Though they may have wanted a more “normal” life at points, they embraced the path God had for them, through which they were filled by the Holy Spirit and blessed with remarkable gifts that opened their eyes to who Jesus was before many of the more popular and scholarly religious leaders. Their faithfulness to God is admirable, a reminder for us to trust God and focus on Him rather than others who bring us down or treat us poorly.

What I love most, though, is witnessing God’s faithfulness through this passage. The entire world had waited a long time for the promise of Jesus to be fulfilled, the only possibility for us to have complete connection and access to God and to be with Him forever. Jesus’ birth, death, and resurrection is the most profound testament to God’s faithfulness and love for His people. And when we think about it as such a vast, worldly event, it can feel so far away despite being so incredible.

But when we zoom in on God’s faithfulness to Simeon and Anna, people He specifically chose and remained close to as they experienced hardship and disappointment, it’s so evident that God is as much a personal God as He is soveriegn over everything.

God cares about the burdens on your heart. He didn’t only send Jesus for everyone else — He sent Jesus for you. He believed that His love for you was sacred enough to sacrifice His own Son to pay the price you owed simply by being human so that He could love you forever and ever.

No matter how you feel this Christmas, whether you are isolated or surrounded by loved ones, take the time to remember and thank God for His love. Realize that you are worth dying for! Being in relationship with you matters immensely to God. He doesn’t need you and He doesn’t need me, but He so desperately wants us because He created us and delights in us. Nothing you do will ever change how much God loves you.

We can’t earn this love or sacrifice, but we can honor this gift by spending time with God and making the most of this incredible opportunity to be with Him. After all, that’s what the ultimate meaning of Christmas is, right? God is with us. And that news is worth getting excited about!

Questions:

When’s the last time you really thought about how much God wants to be in relationship with you?
Do you want to be in relationship with Him?
How can you build more time in your life to be with Him this year?
How do you hope to grow in your faith through your relationship with Jesus?
Thank God for His grace and faithfulness, remembering all He has done in your life, and trusting all that’s to come.

Sing:

O Come All Ye Faithful

In The Bleak Midwinter

Silent Night

Third Sunday of Advent: Audacious Joy

Join us for the third Sunday of Advent as we rejoice with the shepherds at the wonderful gift of Jesus!

Read: Luke 2:1-21

Devotional:

How far are you willing to go to find joy?

This question might seem odd to you. After all, doesn’t everyone want joy? Wouldn’t they be willing to do anything to feel it? I believe we crave it in our hearts, but we aren’t always willing to do what it takes to experience true, audacious joy. Joy that requires risks and boldness and breaking free from so many things that try to snatch our joy.

Joy can be shown in a variety of ways. For the shepherds, it meant shouting through the streets and sharing this good news with everyone they could reach. For Mary, it was more reflective and contemplative, pondering this goodness until it overflowed within her. But their joy is united in its source: Jesus.

The reason why joy can be difficult to hold onto, especially when we are unaware of the intentionality we must take in our relationship with joy, is that it requires us to fix our eyes on Jesus. Everything that steals our joy is a result of focusing on other things.

For example, fear often causes us to not fully appreciate our blessings because we are already anticipating our next problem. It prevents us from living in the moment and being at peace. Comparison is another thief of joy. It stirs within us self-doubt, jealousy, and bitterness towards others, building walls in our precious relationships. Self-sufficiency which stems from our pride causes us to burden ourselves with more than we can bear. It causes us to distance ourselves from others who want to love us, including Jesus.

The list of joy-stealers could go on and on. Perhaps you can think of a few examples of your own. The point is this: Joy is like a plant. It requires nurturing and tenderness and care. When we care for it, we are able to share its beauty with those around us. But when we neglect spending time with Jesus, resting in Him and giving Him our burdens, we wither and fade.

Prioritizing joy is an act of boldness and bravery. It takes trust in acting on what God tells us, as the shepherds demonstrated by searching out Jesus after receiving their message from the angels. It also takes humility and trust when we take the time to reflect, as Mary did, on all that God has done for us. When we remember how much He loves us, we can have joy right now, no matter our circumstances or all that lies ahead.

Questions:

Recall a time when you experienced remarkable joy. What caused that joy?
What has been siphoning your joy this season?
What is one proactive step you can take to prioritize joy and set your eyes on Jesus?
Who is someone in your life who could benefit from experiencing Jesus’ joy in you?
How can you show it to them this Christmas?

Sing:

O Little Town of Bethlehem

Away in a Manger

Light of the World (My personal favorite Christmas song!)

Choosing a Life of Purpose

What difference does living a life with Jesus make?

When we consider whether or not to believe in Jesus, essentially dedicating our lives to following Him, we are often motivated by the end goal: an eternity in Heaven with Him. Though eternity is certainly far longer than our earthly lives, it’s important to remember the present reasons for why we should start our relationship with Him now.

But what difference does living our earthly lives with Jesus really make?

I’ve been trying to figure out the best analogy to answer this question for a long time, and it finally came to me this morning. I hope it resonates with you as it did with me.

As some of you may know, I work part-time as an assistant horseback riding teacher. During a lesson yesterday, we were talking about a beautiful, festive merry-go-round in the city nearby. When my boss asked one of the kids whether she’d want to ride it, she responded, “Why would I want to ride that merry-go-round when I’m riding a real horse right now?”

This question stuck with me throughout the night and with careful contemplation, I realized its relevant imagery in understanding the difference between a life with and without Jesus.

A life without Jesus is similar to riding a merry-go-round. It may not be harmful — in fact, it could even be fun for a while. Pretty lights, lots of choices in stead (a unicorn or cat anyone?), and chipper music. However, after a while, you’re bound to realize you’ve just been going around in circles without a clear destination.

Depth lacks in this life as well. You can’t build a relationship with your metal horse. Your purpose for being on the ride is limited to mere enjoyment, temporary pleasures. And once you realize you aren’t going anywhere, you’ll feel stagnant and purposeless.

However, a life with Jesus could be compared to riding a real horse. Anyone who has been around horses knows that the bond between the rider and horse relies on trust, vulnerability, and courage. But most of all, love.

There is nothing quite like the relationship between horse and rider. They often understand each other on a deeper emotional level than even humans can perceive each other.

And the options of what to do with your horse are boundless too. They may help you get where you need to go or provide an opportunity to exercise. Horses have a knack for developing character as well. Even if you’re just riding for pleasure, there are natural benefits that come from spending time with horses.

Of course, riding a real horse comes with more risks than riding on a merry-go-round. You could fall off or get injured. You often don’t know what to expect, though the longer you spend with a horse, the less surprising rides become. But aren’t the risks worth it when the reward is developing a more intimate relationship and living a more fulfilling life?

Some may say no. They may prefer the life with limits. For believers, all we can do in that situation is show them love and pray that someday they will be stirred towards venturing beyond their comfort zones.

The real question is, what really matters to you? Are you willing to climb onto a real horse and embrace the unknowns that follow?

The beauty is that Jesus doesn’t want us to go on this journey alone. We can ask Him to give us the strength, courage, and vulnerability to overcome all the obstacles in our paths. Jesus loves you far more than anyone (even your favorite pet) can love you, and He understands you to a depth you can’t even comprehend.

Today, even if you have already made the decision to follow Him, still consider whether you truly trust your life in Jesus’ hands. I hope that this reflection reminds you that even though there are many frightening things in this broken world, Jesus will guide you and comfort you through it all. He is worthy of our trust.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13 (NIV)

They said to him, “Just who are you anyway?”

Jesus said, “What I’ve said from the start. I have so many things to say that concern you, judgments to make that affect you, but if you don’t accept the trustworthiness of the One who commanded my words and acts, none of it matters. That is who you are questioning—not me but the One who sent me.”

They still didn’t get it, didn’t realize that he was referring to the Father. So Jesus tried again. “When you raise up the Son of Man, then you will know who I am—that I’m not making this up, but speaking only what the Father taught me. The One who sent me stays with me. He doesn’t abandon me. He sees how much joy I take in pleasing him.”
John 8:25-29 (MSG)

Second Sunday of Advent: Obedience in the Face of Uncertainty

Join us for the second Sunday of Advent as we witness Mary and Joseph’s response to the unexpected situation they find themselves in.

Read: Luke 1:26-38 and Matthew 1:18-25

Devotional:

Have you ever been given an instruction that didn’t make any sense? I’ve found myself in this situation a number of times, particularly when relying on GPS to guide me to a new location. GPS often gets confused in rural areas or in busy urban spots. After circling the same building ten times or driving into multiple dead end roads in the countryside, I always end up tired and frustrated. This isn’t the path I wanted to take, nor the destination I had in mind!

While GPS is manmade, and therefore flawed — as is the driver who may or may not have typed the wrong location at times — the One who guides our life path is perfect. However, when God leads us places where we don’t want to be, we often feel tired, frustrated, and confused. We may even try to run in the other direction!

Mary and Joseph already seem like really amazing people before they receive their callings. Joseph’s original plan before hearing from the angel is honorable and loving. However, they still are human. Based on the angel’s first words to Mary, she likely was afraid of him (who wouldn’t be?). And Joseph’s initial inclination in the face of troubling circumstances was to make his own plan and rely on his own understanding of the law. When we are in the face of the unknown, it’s okay for us experience the natural feeling of alarm, and then try to take control of our situation by planning and strategizing.

However, we must also learn from Mary and Joseph’s response after God gives them new instructions. God doesn’t tell them all the details of how His plan will work out and He doesn’t promise that their lives will be easy and free from public ridicule by obeying Him. However, He promises that He will use them for His glory and they can trust in Him. They rely on these promises by immediately obeying God and even rejoicing over the chance to fulfill His new covenant for their people — really, for all of us! I don’t know about you, but I am really thankful they obeyed.

What emotions do you experience when you are in an unknown, potentially unsettling or even dangerous, situation? Is your natural response to turn to God and ask for His wisdom and peace? Do you cling to your own understanding or try to escape difficult situations?

Obedience is hard because it requires us to admit that we are not in control and we do not know everything. God is the only one who can lead us to the path of righteousness and without Him, we would be lost forever. Obedience also can mean letting go of our dreams, at least for now. Mary and Joseph likely looked forward to a joyful wedding and time as a couple. While their marriage began chaotically, they not only experienced greater love than they ever could’ve imagined, but they also allowed all of us to experience life-shattering love that redeems us.

Your dreams are beautiful and valid. By being a creation of God, you are designed to think of such incredible aspirations. But if you as the creation can imagine a beautiful life, just think of what your Creator has in store for you! His dreams are higher than our dreams, and when we truly trust in Him, we will be able to appreciate those dreams too.

Questions:

What is at least one dream you have seen come to fruition in your life? It can be as “big” or “small” as you want!
What is one dream you have for the future?
What is one step you can take to offer that dream to God and rely on Him with the results?
Are you in a time of uncertainty or difficulty? If so, what is one act of self-care you can take to rest and reflect on how God might be leading you in this time?
If not, think of someone you know going through a hard time, perhaps even being ridiculed by others, as Mary and Joseph were likely treated. How can you show them love this Christmas?

Sing:

What Child Is This?

Hark! The Harold Angel Sings!

First Sunday of Advent: God’s Call

Join us on this first Sunday of Advent as we explore the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth’s call.

Read: Luke 1:5-25

Devotional:

Have you ever been asked to do an “impossible” task? Perhaps your boss asked you to perform a task that you weren’t trained to do. Or maybe in a relationship you had to make a decision or have a conversation that you didn’t feel ready for. Sometimes, tasks are impossible for us to perform alone and it’s unreasonable for us to be expected to perform it well.

As someone who has always worked in a teaching-related role, I’ve had students whom I’ve (admittedly…) felt unsure would ever improve under my instruction. Usually this level of defeat or doubt comes after I’ve tried everything I know how to do to train them, whether in social skills, horse riding abilities, or academic concepts. But they just keep going back to the same bad habits. Change seems impossible!

In our passage today, Zechariah and Elizabeth certainly felt that having a child was an impossible task. A task that had far greater implications than most, given that their community status, lineage, and perhaps even view of themselves was tied to being able to have a child of their own. If a neighbor or friend said to them, “Hey, you guys should still try to have a baby even though you’re old and wrinkled and you’ve been trying without success for your whole marriage”, they would understandably be hurt, offended, and frustrated. A human giving them this advice has no place to judge or correct their behavior, nor determine the outcome.

However, it isn’t a person who informs them that they will have a child, a very special child. Gabriel, a messenger from God, delivers Zechariah and Elizabeth’s call to them. The only actions they need to take in response to this call are trust in God’s plan and let the events unfold before them.

Let’s take a look at how they respond: Reread Zechariah’s response in verse 18 and Elizabeth’s response in verse 25.

Zechariah responds in a very human, natural way. He questions this news and he’s unable to move past his own shortcomings in order to embrace the calling God has on his life. Meanwhile, despite not even receiving the message personally, Elizabeth praises God and fully embraces this call, an answer to a long-term prayer.

God is the most qualified to give us our callings. He knows us better than we know ourselves — after all, He created us with our purpose in mind! Therefore, we can trust Him to help us follow our callings even when it means relying on Him to make the impossible happen.

Thankfully, both of them are able to enjoy the gift of this call when their baby, John the Baptist, is born. After nine months of silence, Zechariah has a renewed relationship with God. Through her faithfulness, Elizabeth not only becomes the mother of Jesus’ cousin; she is able to provide support and comfort to Mary, who is also going through a sudden change in circumstances, as we will learn next week.

I don’t know about you, but I often use my human limitations as a reason to doubt God’s calling on my life. The irony is that I still desire to know what God’s call is, but it’s much harder to hear it when I’m drowning out God’s voice with my own insecurities and misbeliefs. Thankfully, God is made perfect in our weaknesses, and even if we are reluctant to embrace our calling at first, God will help us grow through the experience to trust in Him more deeply. No matter what, we can do nothing to thwart God’s plans, though the journey is more pleasant when we trust Him.

Our callings don’t have to seem big or important, even though every calling from God is used in profound, unimaginable ways. Perhaps you are called today to reach out to an isolated neighbor or forgive a loved one who has wronged you or perform an act of kindness for a stranger. Whatever God is leading you to do today, perhaps even resting in His presence, I pray that you are able to accept this call with grace, humility, and confidence that nothing is impossible for God.

Questions:

Can you think of a time when you felt like God was calling you to do something? How did you respond?
Have you ever been in a situation where you thought nothing would ever change? How did that make you feel?
What helps you remember that nothing is impossible for God?
What is one thing you can do this Advent season to show God’s love to someone else?
What are three things you are grateful for this year?

Sing: Let’s close our time together in worship.

O Come, O Come Emmanuel

The First Noel

Gratitude: The Best Antidote for Comparison

Struggling with a lack of joy this season? Reflect over these questions as you reorient your heart to gratitude.

When I first started this blog, I believed that fear is the thief of joy. While I still believe that’s true, there’s an even greater threat to joy that’s more within our control: comparison.

We compare ourselves to others daily. That person on Instagram who has a more exciting life than me, this coworker who doesn’t work as hard as me, my friend who seems to spend more time with her neighbor than with me, the list goes on…

Most of us know by now that social media “doom scrolling” easily sucks the life out of us. However, we justify certain types of comparison, though all comparison is a joy stealer.

Have you ever tried to be more grateful by thinking, “Well, at least I’m not in ____ situation like ____ type of people who have less than me. I should feel blessed.”

I’d argue that this kind of comparison is even more toxic than FOMO (fear of missing out) or jealousy. It gives into a kind of narcissism that is widely accepted. It makes us believe that our way of living and our outlook is the only way to be happy. There’s always a level of guilt that comes with this line of thinking and it minimizes the experiences you’re currently facing. Most of all, it stems from our pride, allowing us to believe that the reason we should be grateful is because of material gain or our own status.

However, gratitude is the best antidote for comparison. When we remember how incredible it is that we get to have a relationship with God, and then reflect on all that He has done for us and who He has put in our lives, we are less distracted by what everyone else is doing. It allows us to reach deep within our souls and feel refreshed with joy for the one thing unchanging in our lives: God’s love.

As we head into this wonderful season of gratitude, here are a few reflection questions to think about and/or journal:

What are at least five blessings since last year at this time?
Who is one person in your life you are really grateful for? (If inspired, reach out and tell them!)
How have you experienced God’s faithfulness this past year?
How would you like to grow in your relationship with God this upcoming year?
What in your daily routine causes you to feel drained? (Perhaps it’s social media, certain shows or news sources, or conversations with an unhealthy person) Is it possible to take a break from it?
Finally, what characteristic of God are you most grateful for and why?

I am so thankful for your presence in the Will to Wake Up community! I pray that this is a season of reflection and a reminder of how much God loves you.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Do not quench the Spirit.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-19

Finding Our Value Again

Do you feel lost in your faith?

Have you ever lost something so valuable to you, you were willing to do anything to find it?

As a collector, I lose little pieces all the time. Often, it’s because I’ve forgotten about a piece until I need it for creating something new. In the book of Luke, Jesus tells the story of a woman who has a special coin she’s lost. She’s willing to tear her whole house apart in order to find it. When she does, she calls all her friends and neighbors over to party!

While I cherish my collection and this woman clearly adored her coin, Jesus loves us even more than we could love anything. He doesn’t forget about us. He doesn’t go searching for us only when He could use our assistance. He is constantly in pursuit of us.

However, he isn’t aggressive or pushy, as the word “pursuit” might suggest. He isn’t that guy who calls you nonstop or follows you around until you agree to go out with him. Jesus waits patiently for us to realize how much we need Him.

We are nothing without Jesus. We have to believe this before we can truly realize the value our relationship with Him. Because of His gracious love, we are worth everything to Him, the only one who is worth anything on His own.

Today, I encourage you to wander back to Jesus in whatever form that looks for you. Perhaps it’s joining a faith community or starting a Bible study. Maybe it’s carving time out of your day to be with God. Or it could even be accepting Jesus into your heart for the first time!

Jesus rejoices whenever we come back to Him and I promise He is waiting with open arms to wrap you in His love. ❤

“Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Doesn’t she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? ⁹And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’ ¹⁰In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Luke 15:8-10

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2:20

Tips for Discerning Spiritual Mentorship

Unsure whether to accept spiritual advice from someone in your life? Consider these tips in your discernment process.

Spiritual mentorship can take a variety of forms, whether your mentor is a pastor, church leader, or close friend. Though the term “spiritual mentor” sounds pretty professional, it’s actually just the fancy term for any person you allow to speak into your relationship with God. Often this person gives you advice related to your faith, and perhaps they even preach sermons or teach you about God.

We get to choose who impacts our spiritual life. Given how this is the most important aspect of our lives, we must discern who can be trusted with this authority.

Unfortunately, there are many people out there who have good intentions but do not give godly counsel. Even sadder is that there are still others who intentionally distract people from God’s voice. This isn’t meant to scare you, but with this in mind, it may help you weed out who to receive spiritual direction from.

I’m still in the process of figuring out what a good spiritual mentor looks like, but I’ve been blessed to receive both amazing, godly mentors and others who have taught me what to watch out for. Here are a few tips for discerning whether someone should have spiritual authority in your life:

Does your mentor display these traits?

Humility
Graciousness
Joy
Love
Peace

Mentors come in all personality types, so it isn’t wrong for you to feel more drawn to someone who is energetic while your friend may be drawn to someone calmer and more soothing. However, there are a few core spiritual traits that should be evident in someone spiritually mature.

These gifts of the Holy Spirit reflect a person’s walk with God, particularly humility. It is dangerous to receive advice from someone who believes they have all the answers and take the place of God. They must know their worth: without God, they are nothing, but because of God, they are loved more than they could ever imagine. When we are influenced by people who know their worth, we will feel seen and loved as well.

Does their advice make you feel…

Convicted
Hopeful
Loved
Eager to spend more time with God

These four attributes are vital to sound spiritual advice. If your mentor is constantly praising you without being honest about where you may need to grow, then they are not a credible source of wisdom. The Bible is meant to convict us in a loving way so that we are reminded of our need for God and our call as His creation to love others as we have been loved.

With that said, you shouldn’t feel constantly beaten down either. The Bible is meant to give us hope that while we can’t save ourselves we have a Savior who loves us and allows us to do His work. Someone who puts you constantly to shame may not be aware of their own need for God’s grace. Mentors should be a reflection of God’s voice, not a speaker of the enemy’s deception.

Ask yourself these questions after being with them:

Do I respect them more after this conversation?
How does spending time with them make me feel?
Do I feel prompted to grow or take a proactive step after being with them? (Even if that step means rest or boundaries)
And lastly, the most important one: What gut sense am I receiving after asking God for wisdom?

Make sure you are including God in this discernment process. With Him at the core of your decisions and relationships, you will grow and learn no matter who you are with. Sometimes, we will have a sense that doesn’t align with what we can see, but it may be the Holy Spirit nudging us to either take a leap of faith or step back from a bad situation. Trust that God will provide you with the mentorship you need and pray that you may be surrounded by those who fill you with God’s love.

Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:9

Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.
Proverbs 9:9

Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.
Hebrews 13:7

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it.
2 Timothy 3:14

Brokenness Redeemed

Your story matters. Through this post, I hope to inspire you with mine.

Do you believe your story matters?

For the longest time, I didn’t believe mine did. Until I stood up on stage in front of a hundred or so people who had watched me grow up, but never really knew me, and shared my testimony.

It’s been over four years since that faithful day. A day that Jesus used to redeem my story. Recently, I read the story of the woman at the well. If you’re unfamiliar with it, it’s another story of redemption and testimonies. In Jesus’ interaction with this woman, she reveals the brokenest parts of her story as a witness to Jesus’ identity as our Lord and Savior. This causes the people of her town, who likely had rejected her because of her brokenness, to come to believe. Her story brought them to Jesus, who then transformed each person to make their faith their own.

After rereading this passage, I felt inspired to share my new testimony. After all, a lot has happened in four years. Our stories are constantly being written.

But after two hours of writing, I realized I had eight pages — with much more to go — of stories from my past. I believe that remembering what Jesus has done for us is important, but sometimes focusing solely on the past undermines what He is doing in the present. It also makes it seem like we are fully healed at the end of our testimony, when in reality I know I still have much more healing to go.

So today I will share a piece of my story that is still being unwoven. I hope through this that you may feel inspired to share your story, and at the very least, know that your story has immense value.

Broken, but healing

Growing up as an only child, I often had to prove how “unselfish” I was to combat the misbelief that all only children are spoiled brats (though rest assured, I’ve met plenty of them). To be honest, I wasn’t a completely pure hearted kid. I struggled to share my toys, I didn’t want to invite over kids who weren’t in my closest circle, and I preferred receiving over giving.

I don’t believe those traits necessarily came from being an only child, but perhaps resulted more from being a child in a comfortable home. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about being a follower of Christ, it’s that we are thrown out of our comfort zones in order to change.

In order to protect myself from being misjudged, I built walls to block away the influence of others. However, these walls didn’t stop me from being hurt when others were unkind, and instead they filtered out all hints of criticism, including words meant to help me grow.

These walls came crashing down in the middle of my high school career when I felt utterly alone. I thought I had lost the people who meant the most to me. I did everything I could to be lovable — including giving much of what I had, monetarily and emotionally. But the person whom I believed I loved the most just couldn’t love me back.

Through various situations outside of my control, (a car accident, grief, rejection, and of course the pandemic), God drew me close to Him. By removing everything else I could rely on, He made me realize that He is the only one with the strength to protect my heart.

However, my definition of protection wasn’t entirely the same as God’s.

I entered college ready for something new after a summer of loss and self-doubt. But my fresh start ended up being another season of heartbreak and chaos when I unexpectedly had to move out of a toxic rooming situation. Many of the connections I had built quickly withered away.

A lie that had been pounding in my heart seeped its way out:

You are not lovable. You are meant to be alone.

I tried to combat this lie by building up more walls, including distancing myself from the people who really did love me, and believing that taking an alternative route with college made me a failure.

However, by now I knew the truth that I could not do this on my own. My walls shook with each panic attack. Now my weakness was visible to everyone.

God placed several people in my life, ones who embraced me and filled my heart with His love. God took me across the globe to remind me that I have gifts that need to be shared with others.

Though strengthened, I didn’t feel truly healed. Through counseling, setting boundaries, and prayer journaling, my anxiety lessened and the visible symptoms of my brokenness were much less obvious. But sometimes that feels worse, when we wonder why we feel so empty despite looking whole.

It wasn’t until last August, on the day I quit my job — an act that required trust in God to provide for me — that I finally understood my role in the healing process.

Surrendering to God.

The moment of my first surrender remains so clear for me. I was loading the dishwasher, a Spotify playlist put together by the lovely women in my Bible study humming in the background. And then “I Surrender” began to play and without even knowing the words, I sang my heart out, trusting each verse more with every repetition.

I was carried by the strength of this act — no actually, the vulnerability. I had focused so much on the strength and power of God that I forgot what true strength looks like: being open, honest, and even broken before Him.

Since then, I have learned that surrendering to God is a daily act of trust. It isn’t a one-time thing or a quick-fix solution. It’s the hardest thing we can do, apart our biggest requirement as Christians.

Love others as Jesus would love them.

But you can’t love others until you are filled with a new truth, a truth that I am still in the process of embracing:

You are lovable. You are more loved than you can ever imagine. You can’t love others well until you accept that you belong in the family of God and His love for you will carry you through all your days.

I thought that protecting my heart meant shielding it from loving others. However, withholding God’s love in this way is the most selfish act we can ever do. God’s way of protecting my heart wasn’t keeping it from heartbreak, but rather filling it with His love so that it doesn’t have to break when I share my love freely.

Side note: This isn’t to say you should stay in relationships that aren’t loving. When you accept God’s love, it means you love yourself too. Boundaries can be a huge act of love because they stop us from enabling others, prompting them to be open to changing for the better.

When we love wholeheartedly as Jesus would, it means our love isn’t dependent on the actions and responses of the people we love. It doesn’t have to be when we are fueled by God’s everlasting love rather than human validation.

We are free to love without regrets.

I am still in the process of untethering my heart from the enemy’s lies and anchoring it in God’s truth. I hope that you are on this journey as well in knowing that you are truly loved and that love is meant to be shared with the world.

Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, “He told me everything I ever did.” ⁴⁰So when the Samaritans came to him, they urged him to stay with them, and he stayed two days. ⁴¹And because of his words many more became believers.

⁴²They said to the woman, “We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world.”
John 4:39-42

Hope Amidst Rejection

Jesus is right there, even in your most broken moments.

Rejection shows up in a variety of forms.

At times, it may be losing or not getting a job. Other times, it may be a friend or romantic interest/partner who no longer wants a relationship with you. Rejection can stem back to childhood, when a family member didn’t accept you or love you as they should’ve.

We can even show ourselves rejection through harmful self-talk or criticizing ourselves when we make mistakes.

But you don’t need me to tell you what rejection is. You’ve likely felt it’s sting before, whether through harsh words or unkind actions, or even silence and ignorance themselves.

Nobody is free from being rejected at one time or another, including Jesus. If that’s hard to wrap your head around, think about all the people in your life who haven’t accepted His love, even though He offers it openhandedly. Remember the people in the Bible who spoke falsely about Jesus, who even participated in His brutal murder. Jesus knows what it’s like to feel alone and unwanted.

Yet Jesus is the epitome of courage and faithfulness. When He is alone in the Garden of Gethsemane right before His crucifixion, He calls out to God, blood tears pooling on His forehead. Even in His loneliest moment, He knows who is always with Him.

Jesus doesn’t pretend that the pain from rejection isn’t real or that we shouldn’t grieve our broken hearts. In fact, He’s with us in those dark, intimate moments when we feel lost without belonging.

When Jesus sends out 72 disciples to venture into outside towns and share the good news, He warns them that they may face rejection and hostility. He also provides them words of comfort: “Whoever listens to you listens to me; whoever rejects you rejects me; but whoever rejects me rejects him who sent me” (Luke 10:16 NIV).

The next time you are heartbroken over feeling rejected, remember that Jesus experiences those emotions alongside you, especially when you are rejected for your faith and/or for who God created you to be. You don’t have to listen to the voices who tell you that you’re not good or worthy enough. Remember what Gods calls you — His precious, beloved child. You will always, always belong to Him the moment you accept His love into your heart.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. ²Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.
1 John 3:1-2