Tag: Christian

A Ripple Effect

How are the people in your life influencing you?

When you were growing up, did you ever have that one friend that your parents were worried you’d end up like? Maybe they didn’t follow the rules or they were disrespectful. Your parents didn’t want you to spend too much time with that friend because they didn’t want you to become like them. Whether or not you learned this the hard way, as an adult, you likely know it to be true that the people closest to you are the ones who have the greatest influence over you.

What I bet you didn’t know is that the Bible affirms the decision to be wise and cautious about who you let into your close circle. I’ve been reading through Proverbs recently, and I’ve come across a few key reminders about who to be friends with.

  1. Don’t get too close to too many people

A man of too many friends comes to ruin,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24

This doesn’t mean we should turn away a person who needs a friend necessarily, but it’s a good reminder that physically as humans we don’t have the energy or resources to be a good friend to a lot of people. We can be there for them, pray for them, and show God’s love to them, but we can’t be everybody’s ride-or-die companion. When we allow too many people into our close circles, the filter we place over our friends’ advice and opinions grows weaker. But if we pour a lot into a few deep relationships, we’ll feel encouraged and strengthened in our faith.

2. Seek friends who are honest and loyal

Better is open rebuke

Than love that is concealed.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend,

But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

Proverbs 27:5-6

Two of the most important qualities in a friend are honesty and loyalty. You know you are close to someone when you can openly share what you think would help them grow as a person and as a friend. And when your friend needs to confront you about something, you don’t feel hurt or betrayed, but rather cared for by their consideration to help you improve too. If all your friends simply flatter you or only remain on the surface level, then perhaps they really aren’t such close friends.

Though honesty may hurt sometimes, you know that a relationship is strong when you can be truly vulnerable and open about everything.

3. A good friend is there through the dark times

A friend loves at all times,

And a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 17:17

You may have heard this verse before because it’s so good and widely shared. Expanding on the idea of loyalty, the people in your close circle need to be there for you when you are going through difficult times. But you also have to be willing– actually, wanting– to be there for them even when they aren’t at their best either. That’s why we can’t have too many people in our close circle, because we can’t always be there for everyone all the time. But when you walk through the fire with someone, your relationship will grow stronger.

4. Seek friends who give wise counsel

He who walks with wise men will be wise,

But the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Proverbs 13:20

Your friends should be the ones you can turn to when you need help solving a problem. Now, no one is perfect or gives the best advice every time, but it’s important to be around people who share your morals and who give thought to their answers to your questions. These people who are in the Word, who pray and seek God’s counsel, will be the ones who will help you make the best decisions and will help you grow in maturity and wisdom as well.

5. Last but not least, choose friends who exhibit qualities you want to have

Do not associate with a man given to anger;

Or go with a hot-tempered man,

Or you will learn his ways

And find a snare for yourself.

Proverbs 22:24-25

Iron sharpens iron,

So one man sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17

Coming full circle here, when you are around people who are critical, angry, and judgemental, you will become like them. Whether it’s your annoyance over their bad habits or how their qualities seem less upsetting the longer you spend with them, the truth is, one of the most important things you can do in life is surrounding yourself with people who mirror God-like qualities. You don’t want to be living in fear of your friends or becoming like them. Rather, you should be in relationships that sharpen you and your faith.

Now, you might be thinking that you should still allow difficult people into your inner circle to help them. But here’s the thing, if you become like them, then you will start harming others. There’s a ripple effect; if you grow close to an angry person and become angry yourself, then the people around you will start being like that too. Of course, you should still be kind and welcoming to difficult people, but you shouldn’t allow them to be big influencers in your life.

Based on what I’ve been saying, you might be frustrated by humans’ ability to become like the people they’re around. But this trait is actually a good thing when it comes to the most important relationship we have: our relationship with Jesus.

You see, the more time you spend with the most amazing friend you have (Jesus), you will become more like Him. And that’s our ultimate goal as believers, right? The more time you spend with Jesus, the more you’ll see that ripple effect of love and compassion pour into the lives of the people around you.

So today, think about who you consider to be your closest friends. Do you share any qualities with them? Do they positively influence you?

And most importantly, spend time with Jesus and thank Him for being our best friend.

Do not be deceived: Bad company corrupts good morals.

1 Corinthians 15:33

The righteous is a guide to his neighbor,

But the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Proverbs 12:26

The Beauty of Silence

How often do you find yourself so consumed by what you want to say, you have trouble listening to others? Here’s some advice!

We often underestimate how powerful our words can be.

I know a lot of people use that line to lead up to a “taming of the tongue” speech, but it’s so true. I’ve been reading through Proverbs (which by the way, if you want an overload of wisdom, go check it out) and there is so much advice about using our words wisely.

Our culture emphasizes saying as much as we can whenever we can. But that leads us to be too busy thinking about what we want to say that we don’t listen to anyone else. Being “quiet” is often undervalued. The quiet people are left on their own to observe life and may even be teased, when in reality, King Solomon in the Bible suggests that the people who use their words sparingly and wisely are the ones we should learn from.

The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.

Proverbs 17:27-28

In a society where anyone can say anything, often via social media, we are encouraged to talk over each other and not really listen to what anyone else is saying. That’s why I’m so glad there’s been a recent push to listen to those who have been previously silenced. An old saying goes, it’s better to be a good listener than a good talker.

I’m sure, whether you enjoy talking or listening more, you have noticed how the outgoing, chatty people attract more friends. Hopefully you have a mix of multiple personalities within your friend group. Would you want to tell your deepest secret or confide your toughest feelings in the popular, talkative friend or in the friend who is a good listener?

Now, I’m not saying that popular, outgoing people can’t be good listeners. Sometimes the quiet people aren’t good listeners either, and are more in their own world. But what I mean is that we can all benefit from taking Solomon’s words to heart and treat each word like a valuable gift. If we use our words sparingly and with wisdom, then we will be less likely to gossip (which destroys friendships), say something in the heat of anger, or say something that offends someone.

If I still haven’t proved to you that being a good listener makes you a better person to be in relationship with, think about it this way. We all have that friend, you know the one, who talks for 90% of the conversation and asks you maybe one or two questions about your life. And while you’re answering, they cut in with their own example. You feel like you have to talk as fast as you can just to get a word in edgewise.

Sometimes I wonder if God feels like we do in that situation when we pray. We spend a chunk of our day simply talking to Him, which He loves, of course. But when do we give Him the chance to guide us? I guarantee what He has to say is more important than what we have to say.

But the best benefit of appreciating silence and learning how to listen is that it will help us be able to discern the voice of God. Our conversations with God are the most important we will ever have. And I use the word “conversation” because that’s what it needs to be– two-way!

I’ve shared here about my experiences with hearing from God, and I’ve noticed that when I am set on my own plans and busier, I have trouble knowing what God is telling me.

That’s why my challenge for you–and me!– this week is to take some intentional quiet time with God. No distractions, just you and God. And I bet that will open the door of communication between the two of you.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

James 1:19

If you would like to hear me read my blog posts and for additional encouragement, check out my new podcast!

Podcast: https://anchor.fm/hannah-chung4

Truly Alive

Do you feel fully alive, or are you waiting for something to happen before you can live life to the fullest?

“The past is gone, you don’t know how many tomorrows you have left, so make the most of the present. Don’t die while you’re still breathing.”

I saw that quote yesterday, and it stopped me in my tracks. A lot of us think that waiting means we can’t do anything. But if you think about it, we’re always in a season of waiting.

Here’s a classic example, though I know everybody’s story is different.

An elementary schooler is waiting to someday graduate from school. Once they graduate, they are waiting on figuring out which college they are going to. Once they graduate from college, they are waiting on getting their first job. Once they get their first job, they are waiting for the day when they can retire.

There’s never going to be a time when you’re not waiting for that next stage of life to happen. It’s just inevitable.

But that doesn’t mean that you get to skip through all the in between stuff. All of it, whether it’s getting through secondary school, working towards a degree, starting a family, or changing career paths, is meaningful. The enjoyment, the lessons, and the significance of those stages of life shouldn’t be discounted simply because they occur before you reach a place in your life where you want to be.

It can be really easy to let life pass before our eyes, especially during a global pandemic when everything else has been put on pause. But our lives are never paused, even when we are experiencing unforeseen difficulties. As the old proverb goes, time stops for no one.

The truth is, we will get from life what we make from it. Now, I know you may want to argue and say that we can’t decide what happens to us. And you’re right, we have no control over that.

But we can decide how experiences affect us. We get to decide whether we will learn the lesson God’s trying to teach us or if something is going to ruin the rest of our lives.

Think about all those fairytales from your childhood. Both the villain and the protagonist experienced hardships, usually in the form of the loss of an ability or an important person in their lives. Yet the reason why the protagonist had a happy ending and a joyful demeanor was because they were willing to persevere and believe there was still good in the world. The villain could’ve had all those blessings too, if they were willing to never let go of the hope that things truly can get better.

No matter how tempting it may feel to just sit around and tell yourself that you have to wait before you will be joyful, remember that we don’t have to wait to worship. We don’t have to wait to experience joy. We don’t have to wait before we can see God’s work at hand.

Instead, we need to be present in the here and now. We need to cherish what we do have while we still have it.

Live today. Say what you have to say, do something you’ve been putting off, laugh because why not? There are so many possibilities for today, for everyday.

Every day can be special and meaningful if you let it.

Open your heart to the possibility of truly living, right here, no matter where you are, and let God take care of the rest.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 16:11

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.

Philippians 4:4

I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Jeremiah 29:11

Made in God’s Image

What keeps you from believing that you are fearfully and wonderfully made?

You are made in God’s image.

If you grew up in the church, you probably heard that phrase a lot. Following that, you’d hear at least verse 14 from Psalm 119, if not the entire chapter.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

Maybe that verse sends shivers down your spine as you take in the realization that you were made by God, the most powerful being in all existence.

Or maybe, like me, the phrase “made in God’s image” has grown dull over the years. It has lost its significance to you.

But if you think about it, how can this powerful truth ever lose meaning? Here are a few reasons I can think of:

  1. Distractions

My mom used to read Psalm 119 on my birthday every year as a reminder of who I truly am. But I would always squirm at the part about our innermost parts being knit and all those “gory” details that stood out in my young mind.

Sometimes words and culture’s definition of what it means to be human distracts us from the wonder and complexity of being made in God’s image. These days, there’s all this emphasis on how humans have destroyed everything and we should be ashamed of our existence.

Before I contradict those words, I will say that we should do more to protect our environment, but we should not be held responsible for the mistakes of our ancestors. Living in constant guilt doesn’t solve any problems and harms our self-worth.

Anyway, as beings made in God’s image, we should not live in fear. God sees us as His perfect creation living in a fallen world, which is why we do not always live up to who we truly are. But God’s grace allows us to still be in relationship with our Creator once we repent from our sins.

If we let the criticisms others make about us define us, then we are losing sight of who God says we are. God is perfect, thus being made in His image means we were created with a perfect purpose. Nothing can change that.

2. Repetition Leading to Boredom

As I mentioned earlier, that one verse is the only one people seem to focus on when providing evidence of how we are made in God’s image. While that’s a great Psalm, there are many other places where the Bible proves our worth.

For example, right away in Genesis we see that God created us with a plan and purpose. He calls us “very good” after telling us to take care of everything else He has made. We are different from all other creation because we have a job to do. God entrusts us with the world and wants us to follow His plans for us.

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

Genesis 1:26

There are many other verses throughout the Bible, some in Paul’s letters of encouragement and instruction, which reminds us of who we belong to. Even in the verses where it isn’t spelled out for us, the fact that Jesus sacrificed His own life for us shows how loved, valued, and special we are to God.

3. Denial

The third and final reason we don’t always fully accept that we are made in God’s image is because we can’t bring ourselves to comprehend the true meaning behind those words.

We are made in God’s image.

Write that on a sticky note and put it on your mirror. Remind yourself of that fact daily, and support it with Bible verses.

No matter what the world tells you, you have a purpose. You are valuable. And the more you read God’s love letter to you–the Bible– the more you’ll begin to believe His truths about you.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Ephesians 2:10

In a New Light

Have you ever felt so burdened by the weight of this world that you forgot to look for the Light?

Do any of you have that one part of town that you think you know super well? You could almost drive blindfolded you know the streets so well. And sometimes that means you take unnecessary risks because you don’t have your guard up.

Well, I’d have to say that I’m pretty confident driving in neighborhoods. I’m not a confident driver in the least, but maybe it’s the 25 mph that does it for me. Anyway, I was driving home tonight and, being 8:14 pm, it was very dark. As I drove down a street that I’ve been on hundreds of times, I suddenly decided that tonight would be the night to find a new short cut.

So I turn onto this smaller road and come to a crossroads. A part of my brain says to turn back, no longer recognizing the area, but I decide to turn left and see where that takes me. I’m almost certain I’ll be on the main road again in no time!

But as I turn down that road, I feel very…lost. And wondering if my shortcut is really saving any time.

Then all of a sudden the light clicks on. Literally, I came to a bigger intersection and there were several lampposts. And I realize that I’m not lost, I’ve just driven the long way around on a bunch of roads I’ve seen a million times. I just didn’t recognize where I was in my journey while driving in the dark. If it had been light out, I would’ve known where I was going.

So many times in the Bible, Jesus is referred to the Light of the world. We are called to be the light among darkness too. But how can being “the light” help us?

First of all, since we know that Jesus is the ultimate Light, by following in Jesus’ footsteps, we will know what the next right decision should be in our lives. We will become like the One we serve and people will wonder what’s so special about us. And when we tell them, they can experience God’s love too.

Second, when we have Jesus, through the Bible and in other ways, lighting our path, we will have a better sense of where we are going. It can be so easy to get bogged down by the darkness in our world, whether through social media, a discouraging piece of news, or a heartbreaking diagnosis. But God always has a plan for us. We can’t listen to the messages that we aren’t good enough or that we have to be perfect in order to be worth anything. Because the truth is, when we see things the way God sees it, we have a better understanding of where we are in our journey.

For some of us, we may be reaching the end. For others, it’s just the beginning. But God will use you through everything that happens to you.

So today, take a step back from whatever you’re struggling with. Realize that this isn’t going to be forever. This is just one small part of a bigger picture. You are going to do great things no matter what. Keep holding onto your faith and hope by looking for the Light in the darkness.

This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.

1 John 1:5

While he was still speaking, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and behold, a voice out of the cloud said, “This is My beloved Son, with whom I am well-pleased; listen to Him!”

Matthew 17:5

Choose the Path of Humiliation

How has pride gotten in the way of your relationship with God?

I mentioned last week that sometimes God speaks to us in a loud, booming voice, right? One you simply can’t ignore?

I had also mentioned that I have heard God speak in that way, and I thought I’d share what I believe He was showing me.

Recently, I was very stressed, feeling like I had been in a few situations that were very embarrassing. But after talking about those situations with a close family member, she suggested that perhaps God was trying to teach me about humility. I often struggle with correction, and being humble is important in order to better our relationships with others and with God. Keeping that in the back of my mind, I kept living out my life, and then this weekend our last sermon from a beloved pastor was about humility, how Jesus calls us to become humble servants like Him.

After all, He is the greatest, and even He served others. One line that the pastor said that really stood out to me was this: We need to choose the path of humiliation.

That’s what we need to choose, not just what we “allow” to happen to us. Jesus chose that path, after all. He was mocked, despised, and ultimately killed. But still, He remains holy and the One we need to worship. The One who loves us despite all that we have done to Him and continue to do through sinning.

Then, after that sermon, I led my weekly Bible study, and we were discussing gratitude and righteousness. One very wise member noted that the thing that she thinks separates her from God the most is her ego, her pride. And as she shared a bit of what she’s been struggling with lately, I realized that God was just repeating the message in bold, flashing lights, “You must become humble in order to be a true disciple of Jesus. In order to reach your full potential”.

In our society today, we emphasize being proud of who we are. We flaunt our successes and look down on others who haven’t done all we’ve done. We like feeling “good” about ourselves.

The issue with pride is that when we feel like we can do everything on our own, then we ignore the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus. We think we don’t need God or anyone else, and that causes others to feel worse about themselves.

And here’s the thing, we can recognize our ultimate worth, the love God has given us, and how valuable we are without being prideful.

God wants us to have self-love. After all, He showed us how valuable we are when Jesus died on the cross for our sins.

But ultimately we have to realize that the reason why we have value isn’t because of anything we did. It’s because of what Jesus did for us. It’s because of God deciding that the world needed us. It’s because we are made in God’s image.

So don’t let people tell you that you aren’t worth anything, because you are. You are loved enough to have the most powerful being in the entire universe die for you.

But that also means that when you are faced with the choice of serving or being served, you need to go the route that Jesus took. Be willing to help someone out, even when it’s not fun, rewarding, or even pleasant. It means that when you get embarrassed or feel like someone’s more accomplished than you, you just have to let those feelings go. You have to realize that even if they are more accomplished in one area of life than you, you are still just as valuable as them and you don’t have to be jealous, because God’s got His own unique plan for you that is completely different than theirs.

When pride comes, then comes disgrace,

but with humility comes wisdom.

Proverbs 11:2

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Ephesians 4:2

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

James 4:10

The Past Me: A Different Look at Comparison

Do you struggle to live up to your own standards? Do you feel like you don’t have the freedom to change?

So last post, we were talking about the dangers of comparing ourselves with others. When we fixate ourselves on other people’s accomplishments and thus feel insignificant and incapable, then we lose sight of our worth and our joy. You may have heard similar teaching in the past, but I hope it was an encouraging reminder.

Today, though, we will be talking about a different sort of comparison that I have struggled with a lot recently.

Have you been through a life-altering event?

When I asked that question, some of you may have immediately thought, “Yes”, and proceeded to think of the story related to your answer. Others of you may have thought, “Nothing that significant”. But let me tell you something, any event, even something that might be meaningless to another person, can be life-altering.

Your mindset affects much of your life, yes? They say 10% of how you feel is related to the actual event and the 90% is how you react to it. (Don’t quote me on that, but it’s pretty mind-blowing to think how much our attitude affects our life.)

Anything that has changed the way you view a person, situation, or life in general is a life-altering event. It has changed how you see the world.

Okay, back to the comparison thing. Stay with me here, and it will all make sense!

Last time I talked about how I was comparing myself to my riding partners and how that stole my joy and excitement about riding. Well, I eventually realized what it was doing to my self-esteem and enjoyment of one of my favorite hobbies. I slowly began to regain my appreciation for the sport and felt more fulfilled. But then, about a month ago, I fell off of a horse who I had previously trusted. I know that happens to every rider, and I’ve fallen off under worse circumstances before, but it still caused me to build up this fear towards riding again.

And as the past month has gone by, I’ve struggled with being disappointment in my regression in riding. I’ve taken on some poor habits that I had worked through and I’ve lost my excitement about riding again.

I’ve been so angry at myself. So frustrated. I keep comparing myself to how I used to ride and how I’ve changed since then.

And you might be thinking, Hannah, it’s not that big of a deal. You’re fine. Or, it makes sense that you are afraid. You shouldn’t be mad about that.

But haven’t you ever had a life-altering event change your perspective, and suddenly you can’t enter a situation, activity, or relationship the same way?

We all think that change is such a bad thing. But the issue is not the change in us. It’s how we try to enter these spaces as the same people we used to be.

I heard a message on the radio that really spoke to me. When we walk into a room, sometimes we get a weird vibe that makes us want to leave and re-enter. Sometimes, we have to re-enter the rooms of our relationships, situations, and activities. We need a fresh start now that we are not the same as we used to be. We should have different expectations for ourselves.

We need to stop comparing ourselves to a past version that no longer exists. We often get told to not judge others based on how they used to be. But now we need to extend that same grace to ourselves.

The reason these life-altering experiences happened may not be known to you yet. But they all have a purpose. God is shaping us into the people we are meant to be, and we have to trust that.

No matter how we change, we will always be loved by God. That never changes.

Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!

2 Corinthians 13:5

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Galatians 2:20

The Comparison Trap

Do you struggle with comparing yourself to others? Here is some encouragement.

My word of the year, which I may have shared earlier, is joy. A quote I saw this week, simple but important, was this: Comparison steals joy.

Comparison is a trap we all have or will step into at one point or another. I’ve had a difficult time with comparison, and I didn’t recognize my current struggle with it until seeing this quote and thinking about how it truly has taken away my joy.

I think there’s the common way of thinking of comparison– comparing ourselves with another person.

But we also can have difficulties with comparing ourselves to a past version of us and with a false standard others hold of us.

I’m going to be doing a short series on comparison, starting with comparing ourselves to other people, and I’ll touch on what I mean by the other ways of comparison in another post.

I am a horse rider. I think I have shared that on here, and it’s become a big part of my identity, especially now that I work at a barn. Last year, I rode with two newer riders and was the “most knowledgeable in the ring”. But in the fall, I started doubting my abilities when comparing myself to the two new people I started riding with. I lost my enjoyment of horse riding. I lost my sense of motivation. I just became frustrated with myself.

Now, there’s more to that story, but that ties into next post. For now, let’s stay here a moment.

When have you felt like you excelled at something, just to get that feeling taken away from you?

That feeling is pride. And sometimes when God knows we need a lesson in humility, He allows for that pride to get ripped out from underneath us.

Because, let’s face it, there’s always going to be someone better. A better rider, a better writer, a better teacher, a better ______.

The reason why comparison hurts us is because we lose confidence in ourselves.

But you see, confidence is a good thing while pride is not.

God wants us to be confident where He’s placed us. We need to have faith even when we feel like the least knowledgeable person.

And chances are, we aren’t quite as “bad” at whatever, whether it be a sport, hobby, job, or physical trait, as the negative voice in our heads make us believe.

We are just in a different stage. We are in a different season. And trust me, you won’t be the least experienced forever. Someday, you might even be the most experienced. So learn what you can and don’t waste the season you’re in right now.

I know it’s hard when we think other people are better than us. I know it’s hard when other people confirm the lies we repeat to ourselves, the lies that say oru worth is based on what we can do and not who we are.

But I’m going to combat those lies for you– for both of us– right now.

You are valuable no matter what you accomplish, whether it’s a little or a lot. You are making a difference in other people’s lives, whether or not you get appreciated. And you have a future, even when other people say you aren’t going to change. Because you are going to change. We all are. And that’s a good thing, because the more we change, the stronger we become.

You are strong enough to combat those feelings of insecurity. Those doubts. You are enough.

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Galatians 1:10

Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.

2 Corinthians 10:12

But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor.

Galatians 6:4

One Story’s Villain is Another Story’s Hero

Are there villains in your life’s story that are hard to forgive?

I absolutely love writing. Everyone who knows me even a little bit can probably guess that. Clearly you know it, since I’m a blogger!

Anyway, I have recently been fascinated by YouTube videos about character development. Only a fellow fiction writer can relate to that sentence haha.

Here is a piece of advice I received a while back: Every character has their own plot going on. Each character needs to have their own goals, desires, and beliefs. That’s the only way to make them believable. Because, let’s face it, we are the protagonists in our life story, but we are not in other people’s.

Going even deeper than that, I had this sudden realization:

The villain in your story is the protagonist in another story.

Read that again.

The villain in your story is the protagonist in another story.

Not in your made-up story. In your everyday life. The person who gets under your skin. The person who has hurt you in the past.

They don’t see themselves the way you see them, as arrogant, hurtful, or mean.

And it’s important to realize that other people don’t see themselves the way we see them. In psychology, there’s a phenomenon known as Biases in Attribution. Basically, when we make a mistake, we are more inclined to blame it on outside reasons, such as having a hard day, getting over a loss, or not feeling well. But when someone else makes a mistake, we blame it on internal things, and we are more likely to think they are inherently bad or insensitive because we don’t know what’s going on in their minds.

I’m not saying that there aren’t evil people in the world. The person who hurt you does need to apologize. You have a right to be upset. But if you never hear the words “I’m sorry”, you still need to forgive them. Because if you don’t, then you must believe that what they did is unforgivable.

And as believers in Christ, we need to completely realize that nothing is truly unforgivable. The second we repent, Jesus forgives us. He died for us because of His never-ending love and grace. His heart breaks for us. We hurt Him the most, the One who did nothing wrong.

So if He can forgive us, certainly we can forgive the “villains” in our lives too, huh? That doesn’t mean we need to allow them to manipulate or hurt us again. But it does mean we need to let go of our bitter feelings and extend God’s grace towards them.

After all, if you are unintentionally being the villain in someone else’s story, wouldn’t you want them to forgive you too?

And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

Mark 11:25

Live Like There is a Tomorrow

Are you more inclined to live like there’s no tomorrow or like every decision will affect the rest of your life?

A phrase that gets thrown around a lot these days is “live like there isn’t a tomorrow”. The intention behind that phrase is to remind us that we need to take risks and not count on there being some “better” time to do something that we’ve been putting off.

Living without fear of the future and without regrets is super important. I completely support the idea of living that way. But I think we are ignoring other vital truths by acting like we have to do everything RIGHT THIS MINUTE. We forget what it means to be patient.

Now being patient and procrastinating are two very different things.

An example of being patient is when you remain single because you know in your heart that you haven’t met the one God has for you yet and you trust that you’ll meet that person eventually, but for now you are content.

An example of procrastinating is refusing to get into a relationship with someone who feels right because you are afraid of commitment or you want to continue playing the field when you need to be more responsible.

The problem with living too much in one lifestyle, not having that balance of “no regrets living” and “oh let’s wait living”, is that then we cannot fully live life the way God intends for us. If we get so caught up in the moment, we don’t think about how our present actions might negatively affect things in the future. But if we are stuck overanalyzing everything and never make a decision, then we can’t appreciate the joys of spontaneity and trusting God through whatever we end up deciding to do.

Today I want you to think about why you are where you are and why you are doing what you are doing.

Are you going for that promotion because you have worked long and hard, and you know that’s the next step to take in your career? Or is it because you feel like you just have to have the next best thing in order to be the greatest?

Are you in a relationship with this person because you feel like they are who God has given you for this stage of your life and you love them? Or is it because you think you will never find anyone better?

You could fill in the blanks of those questions for whatever you’re doing right now. For me, I’m trying to figure out if the reason I’ve slowed down in my college preparation process is because I’m nervous about making the wrong decisions or if it’s because I want more clarity from God.

Everyone has a different answer to the question of whether or not they are making decisions off of fear of the future happening vs fear of the future never coming. But my overall point is to realize that yes, there may not be a tomorrow. But you do have to think long term and realize that God tells us to both wait and act in the Bible.

Never wait to deepen your relationship with God or to say the words you know someone needs to hear. But perhaps there are other things in your life that need to slow down.

I’m not speaking on God’s behalf. Like with everything else, listen to God and figure out what He’s telling you through everything you’re going through. He understands the best.

Therefore, return to your God,
Observe kindness and justice,
And wait for your God continually.

Hosea 12:6

Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.

Psalm 27:14