I once read a caption that said something along the lines of “If you have bad vibes, you are free to move on with no explanation. This is your life, so even when people question your decisions, it’s not their call to make.”
Now, I don’t know about the whole “bad vibes” thing, but there is definitely truth to the essence of this claim. Our society has been built upon compromising, second-guessing, and putting status above wellbeing for so long. Why can’t we change that?
Recently, I made the tough decision to get out of a toxic situation. I held to my commitment until it was over, but I was under an immense amount of stress that eventually felt unbearable. Now, this decision came at the cost of convenience, temporary “peace”, and having to deal with interrogations from others with different priorities.
This was a decision that affected multiple aspects of my life and has completely altered what the rest of my freshman year of college will look like. I understand why people have questions, especially those who don’t fully know the situation, but what pains me the most is hearing others’ stories of similar situations that they forced themselves to suffer through.
So many people were willing to compromise their mental health, not to mention their sleep and studies, for the sake of avoiding conflict. And I don’t blame them for this decision. After all, that’s how our society has been set up, isn’t it? We keep quiet when we’re being used. We stick with a company that’s treated us unfairly. We maintain relationships with people we’d rather avoid. All for what exactly?
As a Christian, I’ve struggled with setting boundaries and removing myself from difficult circumstances because I’ve held the false belief that we have been commanded to just deal with things as they are. But when Jesus says, “Turn the other cheek”, He doesn’t mean stay in toxic relationships. In fact, He commands us as His disciples to do the opposite.
To clarify, we are to spread the good news to everyone, including those who may have hurt us or who we disagree with. We are supposed to love others the way Jesus loves us. However, that doesn’t mean enabling toxic, manipulative, potentially even abusive behavior. In fact, if we really love someone, we should want to help them grow into the people they are designed to be.
We are all created with a divine purpose. Jesus offers us extraordinary opportunities to see Him in action if we listen and trust Him. In fact, when Jesus first sent out His twelve disciples, they were given miraculous healing powers and the chance to spread the gospel to many, many people.
As Jesus gave them instructions, He added something that we don’t often discuss.
Whatever house you enter, stay there until you leave that town. 5 If people do not welcome you, leave their town and shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them.
Luke 9:4-5
Jesus cares about us being treated right. He wants us to be in loving relationships and treated as His precious children.
Of course, this realistically can’t always happen, but when we are given the opportunity to get out of toxic situations and relationships, we need to take them. It isn’t “Christian” to stick around just to get hurt more. Rather, we need to see ourselves the way Jesus sees us–worth more than this.
We are given an important purpose, just as the disciples were. When we are distracted by those whose only intent is to harm us, then we aren’t able to fulfill our purpose the way Jesus intended. But we also don’t need to regret the bad situations we’ve been in either. Jesus will use every part of our story to shape us into the people we are meant to be, and that is a beautiful thing.
Today, if you are trying to step away from something harmful, I want you to remember that no matter what anyone else says, you’re worth it. You don’t owe anyone any explanations. This is your one and only life. Be free to be who God designed you to be.
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.
Ephesians 4:1
The Will to Wake Up 