Anxiety – Page 2 – The Will to Wake Up

To the Person Who Needs to Let Go

The first of many letters to my faithful readers ❤

I’m starting a new series sharing journal entires I’ve written (either to myself, God, or others) that I believe will encourage you. Each post will be dedicated to the person who I best believe will benefit from these simple words. Hopefully that person is you today. ❤

Today’s journal entry comes from last August.

Dear You Who May Relate,

Recently I’ve been sad for many reasons, but a big one is the fear of letting go. I’m scared of letting go of people. I’m scared I won’t make new friends. I’m scared of leaving my job and I’m worried I won’t find a job as meaningful. I’m scared all my relationships will change.

But today, something I’ve been trying to repeat to myself finally clicked.

If I hold too tightly to the past, I’ll miss what’s coming. If I allow the past to dictate the present and future, then things won’t get better. But if I have hope for each brand new day, then I can finally experience true joy and rest. Maybe each new day is one step closer to meeting a new friend or mentor or achieving a dream?

What if–instead of dread–I can feel excited for the new season? Letting go is not abandoning others–it’s leaving room for joy and expectation of God’s promises.

And, as Hannah six months later, I can confirm that the road to this new season is rocky, but also lined with unexpected blessings and growth opportunities.

Hope is not lost–not for either of us. God has never (and will never) leave your side. You are not alone.

Love, Hannah ❤

What no eye has seen,
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”—
the things God has prepared for those who love him.
1 Corinthians 2:9

“Letting go” does not mean you’re giving up, it just means that after all this time, you are finally beginning to see even without the closure: You are worth the new beginning.
Morgan Harper Nichols

Unraveling the Cycle of Overthinking

Do you find yourself ruminating on embarrassing or hurtful memories rather than feeling good about yourself?

It’s the end of a long, brutal day. You settle down for a relaxing evening when suddenly–WOAH–something on your phone catches your eye. Maybe it’s a post or a text that reminds you of someone from your past. Or perhaps your phone is put away and an embarrassing memory pops into your brain instead.

Now your evening is essentially ruined because you’ve spent the past hour or so ruminating over a single interaction or response or photo. Maybe they like you, or maybe they never want to see you again. Maybe they think you’re attractive, or maybe they took one look at you and decided you’re not their type. Perhaps they left hidden messages in their text, or perhaps they were on the go and sent whatever Siri suggested for them.

You’ll never really know, and that’s the key issue. You just HAVE to know!!

Or do you really?

Have you ever found yourself stuck in the cycle of overthinking?

I appreciate Merriam Webster’s definition of overthinking, which is classified as, “putting too much time into thinking about or analyzing (something) in a way that is more harmful than helpful”.

The truth is, everything does have meaning, even if the meaning isn’t what we are imagining. However, we can’t let these embarrassing moments or interactions control our lives. Getting stuck down the rabbit hole of overthinking leads to feeling bad about yourself, resentful towards others, and fear for the future.

But how can we stop it? As an overthinker myself, I am also on the journey of reversing this cycle. Here are a few tips, and I’d love to hear any pieces of advice you have on this topic!

Tips to Avoid Overthinking

Figure out what triggers your overthinking. Is it a particular app? If so, limit your time on it or unfollow the person who makes you feel bad about yourself. If a specific person leads you to overthink, reevaluate the relationship to see if your interactions with this person are leading to growth and joy or doubting and stress.
Listen to positive and/or calming music. Sometimes songs, especially about heartbreak or disappointment, can lead to overthinking. Or if a song is tied to a memory that you continue to relive, you may want to avoid listening to it and focus your mind on things that will bring you hope.
Acknowledge that you could be right, but that doesn’t mean the end of the world. See if there are any realistic, practical steps you can take to get out of the situation or change your circumstances. If not, seek help and wise advice rather than trapping yourself in the cycle of overthinking.
Ultimately, remind yourself of what God says about you. God’s thoughts are the only ones that should really matter to us. He’s the only one who knows us fully and has our best in mind. He loves you, cares about you, and plans to use you for amazing things!

Everything does have meaning, but rarely does anything mean enough to take over our lives. Don’t let these intrusive thoughts get the best of you, but don’t beat yourself up when a discouraging thought pops into your head. Instead, take hold of it and release it. You are stronger than you think and more loved than you will ever know ❤

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8-9

Behind You, Beside You, Before You

Is your calling from God difficult to understand?

I’ve always seen the value in honesty, and while this blog is dedicated to encouragement, I need to be real with you about my struggles as well as my joys and past lessons learned. It’s really easy finding the morals in the stories that are so far off, they no longer feel like real life, but merely distant history. But perhaps, as we journey together, we can find hope within the current hardships.

Over the past four months, I have really struggled with my mental health. At first, it was related to triggering events over the summer that left me feeling hopeless. I was looking forward to college as an escape from the issues burdening me over the summer. However, college was definitely not what I thought it would be at all.

I want to highlight that I have made many incredible friends who have truly shown God’s love to me and I would never want to undermine the impact they, as well as understanding professors, have lent me during this time.

Yet many of the things I had eagerly anticipated fell through the cracks. A certain friendship that I had hoped would bring joy and encouragement ended up causing me to experience anxiety attacks and many sleepless nights. I began to feel unsafe, unsure of what to do from here.

Lately, I’ve been reading through the book of Isaiah, which I shared on a previous post. I always associate Isaiah with the idea of being “sent” by God.

I love the verse, “Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” (Isaiah 6:8)

I believe that we all have a calling and that God wants to work through whoever is willing. But what I have struggled to comprehend is the fact that God does not always send us to places where we feel fulfilled or loved or worthy. God does not always send us to people who want to embrace us and accept the gifts we bring.

For Isaiah, his calling was incredibly unpleasant. He had to warn the people of the impending destruction of their entire way of life. No one would like him after that. No one would want to listen to him either.

However, Isaiah was willing, and God worked through him to bring forth many miracles.

Later on, Isaiah is given another message, the exciting news of the promised Messiah! But it took sharing the bad news before Isaiah could share the good news.

Not every single one of your callings will be uncomfortable. We can have hope in that. God will never leave us stranded.

As I’ve been trying to comprehend why the past few months have felt like a never-ending rollercoaster of surprising misfortunes, I came across this verse in Isaiah chapter 8: “Devise a plan; it will fail. Make a prediction; it will not happen. For God is with us.” (Isaiah 8:10)

One of my biggest reasons for feeling discouraged during this season is because so many of the things I truly believed would be huge blessings have ended up exactly the opposite of what I had anticipated. Yet this verse tells us that we can find hope when our plans and predictions don’t follow through. God’s presence is enough to make all things right and sustain us when we feel like we can’t take another step step further.

Later on in this passage, God instructs Isaiah to tell the people to not fear what the world fears. The world fears an effaced reputation, a loss in self-confidence, and ultimate desolation. But we know that our strength, our confidence, our identity, and our future is in God’s hands. We have nothing to fear.

Today, let God’s words to you resonate in your soul. God loves you so much and His plan is far greater than any battle you are fighting. He will go above you, before you, behind you, and beside you. ❤

I will wait for the Lord,
who is hiding His face from the house of Jacob.
I will wait for Him.
Isaiah 8:17

What Does “Casting My Cares” Really Look Like?

Are you feeling stressed out and you’re unsure how to find the peace Jesus offers? Here is some advice and encouragement.

I’m sure you’ve all heard the phrase (which stems from a verse), “Cast your cares on Jesus because He cares for you”. This verse can be incredibly reassuring, especially when we are dealing with anxious thoughts or troubled hearts. While this verse alone is completely true, we often miss out on a key part of the passage.

These two verses go, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your cares on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6-7). How can we fully cast our cares on Jesus? By being humble.

Now, it might be hard to see how these two things correlate. But the truth is, when we stop caring so much about whether or not we are pleasing others, being successful in the world’s eyes, or needing to be the best, a lot of our anxieties disappear.

Think about it. What’s been really stressing you out recently?

If it’s the division in our world, then humility is the answer. When we take a moment to be humble rather than shove our ideas and opinions in others’ faces, we can come together, despite our different convictions. Being a good listener takes humility, but isn’t unity worth it?

If it’s feeling upset by an argument, then perhaps the solution to your distress would be humbly apologizing or at least being willing to take the first step in mending the relationship. Even if it isn’t your fault, being the one to initiate reconciliation can bring you both deeper healing.

If it’s experiencing difficulty obtaining a goal, then ask yourself why you have this goal. Is it to “get ahead” in life, so that you can please others? Allow yourself to be immersed in God’s love for you instead and remember that He sees you as enough just by being who you are.

I’m sure there are countless other things you are stressing over, but as you list them down, think about whether or not you’d still be stressed about it if you didn’t care so much about your reputation. Does being right really matter that much? Does being in a higher status truly define your worth? I don’t think so.

Jesus offers us everything we could ever need. However, He does require us to do some work too. We have to be willing to be humble, like Jesus, in order to begin seeing change in our lives. We certainly don’t need to be perfect at humility, but Jesus honors our efforts, regardless of how others may react to them.

Today, allow yourself to be vulnerable and open minded to what others around you say. Remember that no matter how others treat you, Jesus loves you fully and intentionally. Once you let go of the belief that your worth depends on who others say you are, you will finally find peace.

Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.
1 Peter 3:8

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. ⁷Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-7

The God of Feelings

Do you ever worry about your feelings being too big for God? Here’s some advice and encouragement!

I’ve often spoken of how God isn’t a “God of feelings”. He’s so much bigger than that, loyal, faithful, honest, and never-changing. His love is so different from the fleeting love we experience in many relationships.

While all of that is true and important to recognize, I’ve realized I may have done an incredible disservice to you. By speaking so joyfully about God in this way, I may have misled you into believing that He doesn’t have feelings, that feelings don’t have a place in our world. But believe me, feelings do have an important place, and God does have feelings too.

I’ve seen the consequences of not “believing in feelings” firsthand within my own family. I used to think it was just my family, but during the recent spread of awareness about the issues Asian Americans have faced, I’m beginning to realize it’s cultural. It’s a known fact that there’s a stigma around mental health in the Asian American community, often because our mental health has not been seen as important in the past. For my dad’s side of the family, expressing any kind of feeling (other than indifference) is seen as a weakness.

Both my dad and my grandma, whenever they mention a loss or a difficulty, laugh it off to prove they are okay. I’ve never seen either of them cry. They literally live out the line from Let it Go, “Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know.” Whenever I share a hardship with them, they merely shrug and act like I’m an idiot for being the least bit concerned.

But I know those feelings are deep within them. When our dog passed away last year, my dad clung onto compulsive actions in an attempt to unknowingly cope. The stress lines and the frown on his face indicate his anxiety. Yet if asked, it will be received with harsh reprimands for ever assuming anything’s not fine. It deeply saddens me to see them suffering like this. The negative feelings won’t dissipate simply because we choose to ignore them. Rather, they continue to bubble up until we are forced to confront them, often by this point in an unhealthy way.

I think Christians often fall into the trap of making everyone think they have to be fine in order to be a Christian. “You must not trust God if you are sad or disappointed,” they often say. “Everything happens for a reason, and if you don’t believe that fully at every given moment, then you must not be saved!”

But that’s not true. If our faith was dependent on never having a single doubt or wavering moment, then our faith wouldn’t be much of anything. Our faith is built on God’s grace and forgiveness. When we get out on the water with Him and falter, He will stretch out His hand and rescue us. And those moments of truly needing His saving is what strengthens our faith the most.

When we’re close to God, we know His character. He isn’t going to turn away from us when we have tear stains on our cheeks. He isn’t going to laugh at us when we come to Him in bits and pieces after our heart’s been broken. He isn’t going to mock us when we are asking for forgiveness.

Rather, He is going to be there waiting for us, excited when we turn to Him through everything we’re feeling.

It’s when we don’t know God’s character that we fear coming to Him as anything less than perfect. Well, let me tell you, God knows darn well that we aren’t perfect! He knows our every thought and feeling. He hears every whispered cry and every quiet call for help.

But guess what? God isn’t afraid of what you’re feeling.

God is so much more powerful than what we’re feeling. He has given us this life, and these feelings, in order to bring us closer to Him and to each other. So don’t deny the fact that you have feelings. Rather, see how these feelings may be prompting you to show other’s God’s love.

One of the greatest marks of a follower of Christ is compassion. I once read in a Bible study that compassion is “love in action”. It requires stepping into another person’s shoes and feeling what they are feeling. We can’t show compassion if we deny ourselves our right to feel.

We can’t control how we feel, but we can control what we do with those feelings. If you are worried about your feelings taking over your life, then remember that you can allow God to use those feelings for good.

No matter how you’re feeling today, your feelings are valid. They matter. But they certainly won’t ever define who you are in Christ.

Lord, you have examined me
    and know all about me.
²You know when I sit down and when I get up.
    You know my thoughts before I think them.
³You know where I go and where I lie down.
    You know everything I do.
⁴Lord, even before I say a word,
    you already know it.
Psalm 139:1-4

Song Recommendation: Broken Prayers, by Riley Clemmons: https://youtu.be/cBDt_-tIfLI

Changing the Way We Speak to Ourselves

Are you tired of the cliche advice about improving your mental health? Here is the best advice I have when it comes to our conversations with ourselves.

On this Encouragement Thursday, I’ll be taking a break from my “Life Hacks” series to talk about something I find incredibly vital when seeking a fulfilling, joyful life.

There are so many theories on how to have the “best happiness” or really how to have the “best mental” health. A lot of times this advice comes in the form of annoying cliche expressions, such as:

“With every storm comes a rainbow.”

“Just stay positive!”

“You got this!”

“If you actually try your best, then success will follow.”

I could keep going, but you get the idea, and in fact, you could probably create a list like this yourself. Sometimes, when life is going amazingly spectacular, we agree with this advice. We might even give it out. But then, when the storm really hits, and all our mind can think to do is criticize, these words hurt. They sting. Then they carry with us to the next storm, and the next, until the storms feel never ending.

What’s truly the secret to having better mental health?

Well, the truth is there’s no clear cut way for each person. We’re all different. But to me, the best way of improving mental health is cultivating encouraging conversations in our minds. Changing the way we speak to ourselves and about ourselves, especially in certain conversations.

Talking about our trauma

By the time someone reaches the end of their life, they’re bound to have experienced at least one traumatic event. This often comes in the form of death, illness, or violent experiences. But sometimes trauma can be an ongoing pain or experience. Trauma takes many forms, it’s not something that can be boxed in. While an event might not be a big deal for one person, it might be truly traumatic for another. Yet our society doesn’t seem to understand that trauma comes in many forms. That has caused us to undermine our traumatic experiences.

Here are some key things to think about when discussing or thinking about the effects of your traumatic event(s):

Stop apologizing or feeling bad about your limitations

When I got into a serious car accident, I didn’t want to admit how much it had affected me and my mental health. I struggled with asking for help, and when I did, I felt guilty about it for years afterwards. It has taken me until now, two years later, to realize I am worthy of the help I received. I am also not any weaker for asking for help.

Do you often apologize when asking for help? That stems from lacking self-worth. Yet Jesus calls us His precious children, worth dying on the cross for. When we find our worth in Jesus, we will begin to realize we are worth it. Jesus is the source of our strength; therefore, we will never be “weak”.

Rephrase the way you view your shift in capabilities

For months after my car accident, I would hide my fear of driving by saying I was “bad at it”. That got ingrained in my head and only further heightened my anxiety. Instead of saying I was bad at it, I should’ve said “I’m not a confident driver”. That shows that I may not be there yet, but I can be someday.

When you think about yourself, don’t put your capabilities into a tiny box. You have so much potential. Instead of saying “I can’t do this”, say “I can’t do this yet“. Instead of saying “I don’t know how”, say “I don’t know how right now, but I hope I will someday”.

Leave room in your life for possibilities.

Is everybody watching?

Whether you’re shy, self-conscious, or have social anxiety, I’m sure you can relate to the feeling of everybody watching you when you enter the room. Perhaps we get this idea from the countless movies that depict the scene where the protagonist enters the school dance and all eyes turn to her. Or maybe the media has done it by providing new articles on scandals and intimate details of celebrities’ lives.

Well, I’m here to tell you something. No, everybody is not watching. And if someone happens to be, they will likely not remember what you’re wearing, whether you have a smudge of sauce on your face, or if you’re frowning. The only way you’ll make a grand entrance is if you’re carrying a giant stuffed money or an inflatable scarlet parrot 🙂 *spoken from others’ experience*

But think about it, do you remember what so-and-so was wearing, even if they were “popular”? Probably not. You just remember what you were wearing or maybe what your crush or best friend was. You might not even remember that!

Let’s face it: we’re in a self-obsessed world. While people can go on and on about how that hurts others, I think that hurts us the most. When we focus too much on ourselves, we lose track of the important things, like whether or not we reached out to the lonely person in the corner or if we said “thank you” to the tired hosts. We also begin that negative self-talk, like “everyone must think I’m an idiot for wearing bright orange” or “I don’t have any friends because no one’s talked to me in ten minutes”.

No. Trust me, all they’re thinking about is themselves and how bad they feel.

You know what would be memorable, though? (Besides the inflatable animals?) Being the one who makes someone’s day by complimenting their unique outfit or going across the room to talk to them. Be that person. Be the person who gets out of their head and into the heart of someone else.

What does God have to say about all this?

If you’re a long-time reader of The Will to Wake Up, you know that most of my posts come back to faith. And the truth is, you might be wondering what all this has to do with God. Does God care about what we say to ourselves?

In a word, YES.

You don’t think those +365 times He says “Don’t worry” in the Bible was intentional? Um…okay.

You don’t think “Set your mind on things above” refers to thinking about things that matter rather than things that are temporary? Sure…

You don’t think Jesus emphasizes how He’s the giver of peace because He knows we’ll struggle with retaining mental stability? Well…

The list could go on, and hopefully these few examples are sparking the other instances God reminds us of how important it is to take our thoughts captive. The bottom line is this: When we find our worth in Jesus and remember that He’s the only One who’s watching us, then we don’t have to worry about living up to others’ expectations. We don’t have to live in fear of being worthless anymore.

Your experiences, your pain, and your joy are all valid. People care about you. Jesus cares most of all. Today, instead of thinking bad things about yourself, tell Jesus your concerns and ask Him to give you peace.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.
Isaiah 26:3

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Philippians 4:8

Living in the Moment

Living in the moment is the way to find true satisfaction.

I talk about living without regrets all the time, but I just want to say that sometimes you might be called to do things that seem so strange. Not classy, not popular. But it’s what you are supposed to do in order to follow God’s plan for your life. You just have to go for it, even if it doesn’t make sense.

Take every opportunity you can because you never know what tomorrow might hold.

All the wonderful things that have happened in my life were not planned. All the terrible things that have happened in my life were unanticipated. No human can truly fathom the future God has made for us.

So it’s important to live in the moment. Don’t look back at the mistakes you can’t make up for. Don’t be anxious about the future, that’s what we are commanded to do. I know it’s hard and it’s okay to have those feelings, so long as we are actively fighting against them. We cannot let fear win. Fear is only dangerous when it is given power by us.

Today make the effort to go out of your way for someone else. You might be the only one who does.

Today do something you’ve always wanted to do. You may have found a new passion for life!

Today ask God what His plan is for your life instead of praying specific things. Ultimately, God’s plan is the best one, and it’s what’s going to happen. Might as well go with it willingly than be dragged along, right? After all, He does have our best interest in mind.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6