Tag: Advice

FOCUS

My consistent followers on here know that I’m often trying to challenge you, to help you grow. That’s because I am constantly trying to do that for myself, because it’s not in my innate desires. I want to stay within that comfort zone. But God calls us to step away from that pattern of living and be willing to pursue something more.

But today I have two messages, one is a challenge, the other is encouragement.

I’ve felt a tug on my heart to really share this message with you from God.

He wants you to know that He loves you so much. We humans are His favorite creation, the only one truly made in His image. He could’ve made someone completely different from you, but He made YOU because the world needs you. He is proud of you. He loves you more than words can even describe!

Take a moment to close your eyes and breathe in God’s grace. He loves you. He loves you like nobody else can.

Okay, now are you ready for the challenge? 🙂

The word that’s been on my heart lately is this: focus.

We are so easily distracted by the idols of this world: fame, wealth, looks, popularity, etc. We compare ourselves to others who may not be living for God and we want what they have.

But that’s only going to last them for a season. They are only going to feel content for a moment.

But following God’s call on our lives? That kind of satisfaction will last us a lifetime. No– longer! It will bring us into eternity, a perfect eternity, where we can spend forever worshipping God, feeling His abounding love for us, and being in community.

How great does that sound? Simply amazing!

But we need to figure out our priorities before embarking on this challenge.

Take some time today to think about where your heart really is. Is it sucked into a relationship? Is it devoted to your career? Is it in a talent or skill you have?

Those things can all be great.

But remember that God created that other person you love dearly. God created humans to invent things and to be hardworking. God gifted you that amazing ability.

So honor the One that has given us the life we have.

If you put God first, everything else will fall into place. It’s that simple.

Focus your eyes and your heart on what’s going to last.

Once you put your faith and focus on God, everything else will suddenly become clear.

Then you will finally have that ultimate contentment.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.

Matthew 22:37

Admit What You Need

Admit it when you need help in order to build better relationships– both with God and with loved ones.

A lot of times I hide how I feel or what I need because I don’t want to bother others. At least, that’s what I often tell myself when justifying not reaching out.

But another major reason why I’m hesitant to reach out to people with my desires is because I don’t want to admit that I’m weak, insufficient, and not completely capable of everything. I don’t want to crush this false illusion in my mind that I’ve somehow proven to others that I am basically inhuman in my abilities to be self-sufficient.

This only hurts my relationships with others, and this mindset of not wanting to be vulnerable hurts our relationship with God too.

Let’s be honest, some people truly don’t want to see our less-than-perfect side. They only want us when we can help them.

But God isn’t like that. Not one little bit.

He wants our ENTIRE heart. He wants the brokenness because only He can make it beautiful. He wants to comfort us. He wants to sustain us. He wants to give us strength.

But He isn’t going to arrive uninvited. We have to let Him in if we want His help.

The same goes for people. If we act like nothing is wrong, then people will assume we are fine. We need to be willing to be human in order to get the help that we need. We have to be vulnerable in order for others to feel truly comfortable with us.

Not only does this help us, but it strengthens our relationships, both with people and with God.

We show God that we are willing to allow Him to use all the areas of our life, including the things we’d rather leave unexposed.

So today, allow the people who really care about you into your life, both the good and bad. Tell them if you need something, and be willing to let them be vulnerable with you too.

In addition, think about the areas of your life where you’ve held back from showing your true self to God. Ask Him to show you the areas where you need to let go and allow Him to take over. God will help you through any struggle you are going through, as long as you let Him in.

More than anything, remember that you are never a burden. You don’t have to always be strong. Allow yourself to be immersed in the love and comfort that God and your loved ones want to give you.

You are enough.

For he has not despised or scorned

    the suffering of the afflicted one;

he has not hidden his face from him

    but has listened to his cry for help.

Psalm 22:24

After the Prayer

Prayer is a good first step, but when is it time to take action?

Prayer is the most important spiritual practice you can take part in. However, it can be misused in a way that actually harms you. Often, we say we’ll pray about something, and that’s wonderful. But then we can use it as an excuse to not take action. If things don’t happen related to the issue, we blame God instead of ourselves.

I know that I’ve done this before. If I’m afraid, I’ll just tell myself that God will handle it for me once I pray. Of course God should be a source of comfort and peace. Yet, He does not want us to sit idly by and not do the work to make progress.

I know this might be a tough love moment, but in the end, your relationship with God will strengthen if you are willing to do more than pray.

Instead of praying something specific, pray that God’s will can be done and that God will give you the strength to do the hard thing. We should ultimately want God’s will to be done because, as I talked about in my most recent post, we can either choose to accept what’s happening and trust God or begrudging stomp our feet and refuse to move forward in life. Then we miss out on the many blessings God has in store for us.

Today, reflect on areas of your life where you may not be putting in the work. Perhaps the conflict could be resolved through you talking to someone. Perhaps you are actually being called to give up something in order to help someone else. Perhaps you are meant to take that risk you’ve been worrying about.

There are certainly situations in which we simply can’t do anything but pray. And that’s okay. But just take the time to figure out whether God is calling you to take action.

Ultimately, it is crucial to pray in order to strengthen our relationship with God and to have peace about situations. But nothing can be done if we aren’t willing to follow God’s call on our lives.

You can certainly pray for strength, perseverance, and clarity. That’s a wonderful thing to do. But after that, just go for it! You can do this, I believe in you. And most of all, God is with you, so you have nothing to be afraid of ❤

If God is for us, who can be against us?

Romans 8:31

Living in the Moment

Living in the moment is the way to find true satisfaction.

I talk about living without regrets all the time, but I just want to say that sometimes you might be called to do things that seem so strange. Not classy, not popular. But it’s what you are supposed to do in order to follow God’s plan for your life. You just have to go for it, even if it doesn’t make sense.

Take every opportunity you can because you never know what tomorrow might hold.

All the wonderful things that have happened in my life were not planned. All the terrible things that have happened in my life were unanticipated. No human can truly fathom the future God has made for us.

So it’s important to live in the moment. Don’t look back at the mistakes you can’t make up for. Don’t be anxious about the future, that’s what we are commanded to do. I know it’s hard and it’s okay to have those feelings, so long as we are actively fighting against them. We cannot let fear win. Fear is only dangerous when it is given power by us.

Today make the effort to go out of your way for someone else. You might be the only one who does.

Today do something you’ve always wanted to do. You may have found a new passion for life!

Today ask God what His plan is for your life instead of praying specific things. Ultimately, God’s plan is the best one, and it’s what’s going to happen. Might as well go with it willingly than be dragged along, right? After all, He does have our best interest in mind.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Philippians 4:6

The Message We Ignore

If you need a sign of confirmation that you are exactly where you need to be, this is it. God loves you so much. I encourage you to read this and realize you are not alone in your struggles.

I’m going to say something now that you may not want to hear. But believe it or not, it could also be a message that encourages you.

Our faith was never supposed to be easy. Following Jesus does not mean happiness on Earth or that every prayer is automatically going to be answered the way we want it to be.

A couple days ago, my pastor preached about Jesus calming the storm. She said something that really stuck with me, and I thought I’d share with you.

A common misconception is that when things go wrong for people, it’s because they are not following God’s call. That is completely a lie that the enemy wants you to believe in order to give up on your faith.

“The disciples weren’t going against God’s call. Rather, they were doing exactly what they were supposed to do. That storm was a part of their path, despite how difficult and frightening it was.” (paraphrased)

You may be struggling right now about how to make sense of your current situation. You may feel like God has turned His back on you because things are spiraling out of control.

First of all, I’m so sorry for whatever you are going through. But God has not abandoned you no matter how alone you feel. God loves you and He is bringing you through this in order to make you stronger.

It’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to be disappointed with how things turned out. But you don’t have to just sit in those sorrows and isolate yourself from others or more importantly God. He is the one that can bring you back. He is the one that can heal you, restore you, sustain you. Even if you don’t receive immediate physical healing, turning to God will bring you peace.

God uses other people to speak into your life and encourage you, too. Listen to the ones who love you. Listen to the ones who want to encourage you. Let them support you when you can’t support yourself.

Because you are loved. You are needed. And you are cared about.

Every time I hit my personal rock bottom (it looks different for everyone and that’s okay), I realize that I have experienced this loneliness because God wanted to refocus my attention on what really matters.

I have been in one-sided relationships and it hurts so much. But we have to realize that when we ignore God, when we don’t allow His grace and love to be enough, we are that person in the relationship that isn’t doing their fair share. Who isn’t reciprocating the love. Who isn’t accepting the fact that they are unconditionally loved.

And obviously God has the most perfect love in the world that is so much greater than we can reciprocate. Than we have experienced. If you are reading this then you haven’t died for someone else. That is the ultimate sacrifice that God was willing to make for you because He loves you that much. You are worth saving. Repeat it after me: you. are. worth. saving.

Imagine that pain that I mentioned before about those one-sided relationships. You probably sacrificed a lot for that other person. You may have even given your heart to them, knowing that you wouldn’t get even an ounce of that love back.

But just realize that despite how much you cared about them, God cares about you a billion times more.

A lot of the advice we receive tells us to turn away from those relationships where the other person doesn’t reciprocate. But God will never turn away from our relationship with Him because He is unfailing and completely faithful.

You may have never experienced such loyalty before. That’s probably because as humans we have been taught to always put ourself first. But that’s not the way God works.

God puts His love for you above everything else. And I hope today that you can begin to put your relationship with God above everything else too.

Faith is scary. Faith is hard. But faith is the the thing that completes and establishes our relationship with God. There is no relationship on our end if there is no faith.

So today, even through all your painful struggles, remember that this is not the end. This is not a sign that you are doing the wrong thing.

Listen up. If you feel like God called you to be where you are right now, then you are doing the right thing. If you were looking for a sign saying that you are supposed to continue what you are doing, this is it.

You are beloved. You are treasured. You are loved.

Go out now and spread that message to the world.

You are never going to encounter a greater love than this.

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, for whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.

John 3:16

Just a Little Thing

I was inspired by the newest member of my family for this post– Rocky. He’s a two month old puppy who is anything but obedient. He is incredibly dramatic, playful, energetic, smart, and strong-willed. We love him, but it’s very frustrating when he doesn’t understand why we want him to do certain things, like oh I don’t know, maybe use the bathroom outside or not chew up things that don’t belong to him…!?

Sometimes we have to put Rocky in the crate in order to give him alone time to think about what he did wrong and why he needs us to train him. He hates it, but generally he feels better when he calms down and rests.

God gives us seasons where we are stuck (hello quarantine) or unable to fully function the way we want to. Other times, He might cause us to take the time to realize we need to turn to God alone, and not other sources of distraction. It’s up to us, though, whether we will grow and be able to move on from those seasons, or if we will scream and fight our way out.

Rocky is only four pounds and it’s pretty funny (although it gets old really fast) when he tries bossing us around, especially during mealtime. He thinks he deserves things that may hurt him or he isn’t ready for yet. He doesn’t always realize the power we actually have over him and how tiny he truly is in the grand scheme of things.

I think I struggle with this a lot, and you might too. My feelings are so strong, my desires seeming to be so valid, that I forget how minuscule I am in comparison to this entire universe. I forget that I barely know anything next to the Creator of the world. I need to step back and appreciate what God is telling me to do, because He, just like with us for our puppy, wants the best for us. He doesn’t want us to get hurt, but He may allow us to have difficulties in order to learn from them.

Today I challenge you to step back from a world centered around yourself. Instead, think about what God might have for you and what He is calling you to do. We all have a greater purpose that allows us to have a bigger impact.

Whether one door closes or another is opening, God has a plan for everything. We may not understand why things are happening the way they are right now, but eventually I hope you can see that God has been with you and will be with you every step of the way. You can have hope and comfort in the fact that God is in control of your life, no one else.

You will be taken care of.

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

Days Like Today

Today has been hard.

Recently I started a Bible study about spiritual warfare. The enemy knows our weaknesses so well. But when we are attacked more, we are tricked into believing that we are not being effective. That our presence does not matter. That we are weak.

The opposite is true. When we are attacked, the enemy sees us as a threat. We are doing good work.

But when we believe the lies, we are silenced.

One weakness of mine is the fear of driving. I had a bit of anxiety this morning because I needed to drive myself farther than I have in a while. I get after myself for being upset because it’s been a year since my car accident, and I don’t like fear holding me back.

I have incredibly vivid dreams, and sometimes they come true. This is more of a curse than a blessing a lot of the time, because I’ve had a lot of sleeping issues due to these incredibly realistic nightmares. Last night, to add to the anxiety already building, I had a terrible nightmare about getting into a car accident again.

I had these reoccurring nightmares for months, but they hadn’t resurfaced again until recently. I hate feeling weak. I hate feeling out of control. I hate feeling useless and set back.

I had the opportunity to go to an amazing event today. My church, along with several others, held a March for Surrender in honor of Juneteenth and to support our beloved Black brothers and sisters.

God surely wanted to use this event to draw people closer to Him. God wanted everyone there. God wanted me there.

But the enemy pulled out two weaknesses this time.

I’ve had some difficulties in my family lately, and that’s been weighing heavily on my heart. Today all those feelings seemed to explode while I was at the event.

In addition, I struggle with comparison and allowing others to define my worth. The entire point of the event was to support one another and affirm our value and differences. But I felt a lot of strong emotions that greatly hurt me in the past, like loneliness and worthlessness, and suddenly I was overwhelmed.

The speakers proclaimed the truth about how we need to take action. We cannot sit idly by and ignore the injustices in our world. We need to look beyond ourselves and stand up for those who have been forced down.

But the enemy was trying to get me to only focus on myself and my insecurities.

You may have had a day like today recently. You may feel misunderstood.

I have been told so many times by the enemy that I have no future. That I have no purpose. That I am meaningless. That my presence does not matter.

You may be feeling those things right now.

But I’m here to tell you that God has a wonderful future in store for you. God has an incredible purpose that only you can fulfill. You have meaning. You matter. You are needed.

Days like today come and go. Sometimes we just suffer through them silently. Other times we come to God or to other people.

 I could’ve let today be wasted. But I’m not going to let the enemy win. I’m going to use today to draw closer to God. I’m going to use today to empathize with others who are struggling to remember their value. I’m going to use today to empower myself and others to fight for justice. I’m not going to let today be focused on me. I’m not going to let today belittle the very real problems that others are facing that I need to be focused on helping resolve. I’m not going to waste today.

I know I’m not the most popular blogger, writer, photographer, person. Most people don’t even know my name. Hardly anyone knows my story. But if even one life is touched because of what I’ve put out there, then I will be fulfilled.

I pray for everyone who reads my words. Now I’m asking you to also pray for me. Prayer is the most powerful weapon. Pray against all the enemy is trying to do to attack God’s people. More than anything, we need to unify and defend our brothers and sisters in Christ.

We are strong.

Stuck

This morning, I was changing my daily calendar next to my bed, and I noticed an old clock that has been sitting there ever since we moved into this house. When I was a kid, I thought it was antique by the way the numbers are still Roman numerals and the clock is protected by a glass covering.

But the thing I noticed today was that the time had stopped working. The little second hand was ticking repeatedly between 11:27 and 11:28. This got me thinking a little bit.

I’m the sort of person who relives mistakes, embarrassing moments, and even good ones over and over again. That keeps me stuck between my 11:27 “past” and my 11:28 “future”. That isn’t a place where I can grow or move on.

Moving on is really hard. It means we have to let go of not only past mistakes, but past dreams. It means we have to be willing to face new challenges instead of harping on the old ones. It means we have to have the courage to say “yes” to God.

But I think that if we ask God for that courage, He will give it to us in a heartbeat.

Be gentle with yourself as you try to move on. Don’t rush the process, because then you will only have a temporary solution, not permanent peace and contentment. But be willing to take a look at what you do have in the present instead of worrying about what you missed out on in the past. That way, you won’t make that mistake again.

No matter how long it takes you to move on, you are not a lesser person for having doubts, making mistakes, or having trouble with change. Everyone is different, and when we compare ourselves, we will only feel worse about ourselves.

I may have shared this quote before, but it’s important.

The fastest way to ruin something beautiful is to compare it with something else.

Remember that you are a beautiful creation, and nothing you do or think can change that. You may not have been made for a specific person, situation, or opportunity. That’s okay. You were made for something even greater that needs YOU. Not the person you think is better looking, more successful, or more talented. The world needs you.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

Romans 8:18

Trusting God Through Everything

First of all, I’d like to apologize since I was really getting into the groove of posting regularly, just to abruptly stop even though right now is the perfect time to share encouragement (even though I believe every moment is a good time for encouragement), but especially through all of the changes going on in our lives right now with the Coronavirus. People are stressed, worried about catching the virus, losing their jobs, loved-ones getting it, and maybe even how to stay sane while feeling isolated from others.

Before I go on any further, please know that all of you out there are in my prayers. I know that many are going through much severer times than I am right now. I feel very fortunate that my grandparents in Hong Kong are okay, people are trying to do the right thing and stay home to protect others around me, and much of my family is staying employed. However, I know that is not the case for many people, and I am determined to do my part to encourage those who may have hit their rockiest time right now, and if there’s anything I can do for you specifically, let me know.

I recently saw a video from a singer that I follow, and her message was that you can say that you trust someone as much as you want, but you can never truly know if you do until it’s put to the test. You have to have that trust be put into action for it to go into effect.

For example, if your friend claims that you can tell her anything, you won’t really know if you believed that statement until you tell her something personal. Or when a little kid is stuck inside a burning building, he has to demonstrate his trust for his parents by being willing to jump out the window into their arms, knowing that they will catch him.

This virus and all the consequences surrounding it are a test to see if we really trust God.

I have noticed a startling pattern in my life. Often during my hardest times in my relationship with God, the thing that has brought me back has been when I truly had no other option but to trust God, and He’s always been able to pull through. Now, I’m saying this while knowing that a lot of my prayers have not been answered the way I wanted them to. I’m going through some situations with people that are frustrating and some of them have ended up poorly, even if I prayed about them. That doesn’t mean that God isn’t there for me.

I’m also not saying that it’s easy to trust God. It’s been really hard for me lately to trust Him, to be completely honest.

The other day, someone told me that I seemed to have great confidence in my faith. I wish that were true. I am confident that my faith has grown over the years, through difficult circumstances and through kindness poured out from others, or directly from God in the Bible. But you don’t have to be without doubts to trust God. You just have to be willing to not simply think “I trust God”, but to actually apply it in your life. You have to not only pray that God will help you, but stop worrying about it. If you are actively looking for God’s hand in your life, you will find it. That I am sure of.

For all those Disney fans out there, I have to say that one of my all-time favorite scenes is where Aladdin has his hand stretched out to Jasmine and he says, “Do you trust me?” I personally think that this is one of the most romantic scenes in all of the Disney movies I’ve seen because it shows a depth in their relationship and a true conflict that many face in their relationships.

Unlike Jasmine, who barely has any reasons to actually trust Aladdin, we have a multitude of reasons why we should trust God. Take a look at His promises in the Bible. Think about the narrow escapes you’ve made in your own life, or what God’s done in other people’s lives. We have reason to trust God through this difficult time, and others to come.

God is asking you always the same question– “Do you trust me?”

So the question is, are you willing to make the leap of faith to prove your answer?

“But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.”

Psalm 5:11

True Joy = Releasing Control

Returning to Our Regularly Scheduled Program…

So…remember how I said I would be talking about joy as my first “series”? Remember how that was like…five months ago or something? Well, as you can see, I often go off topic and somehow wander back, ha-ha. Anyway, I have been thinking about joy again, so I wanted to pop into this series again, although I’m not sure if my next post will be related to joy, we’ll see.

Inherited Control-Freakness

I come from a long line of control freaks. I’m not being judgmental when I say this, they are self-proclaimed. I, myself, am also a bit of a control freak. I might not seem like it on the surface level, because I tend to go along with what other people want and I try to be flexible because I care deeply about pleasing others. However, I am actually quite stubborn, and I inwardly panic whenever things don’t go the way I plan.

I am more like this when I am placed in leadership positions or just when planning my own life, but my family often tries to control one another. A certain member of my family sets out what the other person must eat for lunch each day, and gets irritated if that person does not eat it. Money, food, how a room is decorated…those are just a few things that I often have to argue about with my family because I get frustrated with them trying to control me.

Am I saying that planning is a bad thing? NO!!!! I am definitely not, because you should be prepared and it’s silly to go into situations and build more stress for yourself if you don’t prepare. However, I am saying that at some point, the only way to have full faith in God and in His plan for your life is going along with “God’s flow”.

Going with the Flow

So I have this friend, and we occasionally talk about the future. Every time, he repeatedly states how he just “goes with the flow” and acts like he has no control over his life. Later on, I talked to another guy and he basically said the same thing. I feel like the world is often split into two groups: The Planners and the Floaters. Neither are wrong, yet neither are right.

Going with the flow may appear to relieve more stress and show more faith in God. But God will only work with you if you’re willing to actually, you know, do your part? Frankly, I feel like going with the flow in ALL areas of your life might actually add more stress because you often step into situations and are faced with a bunch of decisions that have to be made on the spot. I am horrible at that, so I could never float through life that way. However, there are definitely decisive people out there, so if that works for you, I’m glad.

The combination of going with the flow and always being prepared is going with God’s flow. I know that sounds a little silly, but that’s the only name I can think of that accurately depicts what I’m speaking of.

Going with God’s flow means that you are trusting God and not freaking out when things don’t go the way you anticipated. However, it also means that you are willing to work hard and still prepare for the future, not just expecting things to somehow work out.

How Does this Relate to Joy?

Have you ever stressed over something, an event perhaps, that you were in charge of. You were so panicked that by the end of it, you wanted to just go away and never be in charge again? While others enjoyed themselves, you spent the night stressing over everything and worrying that things weren’t going to work out. In that situation, you are missing out on having a good time, or experiencing joy.

In another situation, you may have planned every last detail down to the tablecloth design and then everything still ends up going poorly. Believe me, this has happened to me on numerous occasions and I can feel your pain! But because you were so disappointed and discouraged, you never took the time to learn from the experience. And in a way, this also causes you to lose joy because you may end up making the same mistakes in the future.

I don’t believe that joy and fear can coexist, as I stated in a previous post, and trying to control everything is a way of demonstrating fear. It’s basically telling God to His face that you don’t trust Him and you think you know more than Him.

Ouch, that wasn’t what I was thinking when I freaked out over not being able to decide the location for my last meeting, was I?

It’s easy to not realize what our little habits are doing to destroy our lives and our relationship with God. But the more ingrained these thought patterns become, thinking “oh, if only things had gone the way I had planned” or getting angry with people, the more we lose track of who we are supposed to be: joyful humans who are sharing the love of God. It’s easy to let negative thoughts fill our heads. We think that criticizing ourselves for something we can’t control is okay, and it’s not. That is ultimately shaping our actions and our opinions of ourselves.

So today, try to let loose a little bit and see what happens. Trust God and believe that even if things don’t go exactly the way you want, maybe something better was actually waiting for you. It hopefully will also help your relationships too.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”

~Matthew 6:25