Purpose – Page 8 – The Will to Wake Up

What to Do with Regrets

It’s okay to have regrets. Wait–what?? Read on to find out why.

I’m going to say something that people who know me are going to be shocked by.

It’s ok to have regrets.

You’re probably like, uh…then why do you talk about taking risks? Stepping out of your comfort zone? Emphasizing a life WITHOUT regrets?

Well, regrets are a part of life, and pretty much unavoidable. Of course I don’t like regrets. You shouldn’t just get comfortable with constantly having them. But they are not something that we should necessarily dwell on if we can’t do anything more about the situation.

That’s not to say that we shouldn’t learn from our past mistakes– of course we should reflect on them enough to not repeat them.

But everything that happens is part of God’s greater plan for our lives.

That job you turned down. That date that didn’t happen. That class you decided not to take. That conversation that wasn’t had. That missed opportunity.

Those didn’t happen because something better was in store for you.

Back when I started this blog, I was dealing a lot with my own past regrets. I even have a blog post in my drafts that is titled “How to Live a Life Without Regrets”. I wanted a second chance. I thought it was too late. But it wasn’t.

God gave me a second chance to do what I had longed to have done before.

It didn’t go the way I had imagined before. I wasn’t actually missing out on such a big opportunity after all.

Yet, I’m very grateful for that second chance. It gave me confidence, helped a relationship, and brought some truth to the surface. God loves giving us another try.

But whether or not you find out from experience that perhaps what you regretted was not as great as originally thought or you never know what it could’ve been, just remember that your past doesn’t define you. What your life looks like now is what it’s meant to be. You can work hard to prevent having regrets, like taking risks and going for new opportunities, but if you don’t have to beat yourself up over what’s been said and done already.

You are here for an incredible purpose and nothing you can do will change God’s plan for your life. God is here in the seasons of waiting. The seasons of lonliness. The seasons of questioning. Be willing to listen to His still, small voice. Even in the dark, when you’re alone with your thoughts. God is there, working in your life.

The plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations.
Pslam 33: 11

Stuck

This morning, I was changing my daily calendar next to my bed, and I noticed an old clock that has been sitting there ever since we moved into this house. When I was a kid, I thought it was antique by the way the numbers are still Roman numerals and the clock is protected by a glass covering.

But the thing I noticed today was that the time had stopped working. The little second hand was ticking repeatedly between 11:27 and 11:28. This got me thinking a little bit.

I’m the sort of person who relives mistakes, embarrassing moments, and even good ones over and over again. That keeps me stuck between my 11:27 “past” and my 11:28 “future”. That isn’t a place where I can grow or move on.

Moving on is really hard. It means we have to let go of not only past mistakes, but past dreams. It means we have to be willing to face new challenges instead of harping on the old ones. It means we have to have the courage to say “yes” to God.

But I think that if we ask God for that courage, He will give it to us in a heartbeat.

Be gentle with yourself as you try to move on. Don’t rush the process, because then you will only have a temporary solution, not permanent peace and contentment. But be willing to take a look at what you do have in the present instead of worrying about what you missed out on in the past. That way, you won’t make that mistake again.

No matter how long it takes you to move on, you are not a lesser person for having doubts, making mistakes, or having trouble with change. Everyone is different, and when we compare ourselves, we will only feel worse about ourselves.

I may have shared this quote before, but it’s important.

The fastest way to ruin something beautiful is to compare it with something else.

Remember that you are a beautiful creation, and nothing you do or think can change that. You may not have been made for a specific person, situation, or opportunity. That’s okay. You were made for something even greater that needs YOU. Not the person you think is better looking, more successful, or more talented. The world needs you.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
Romans 8:18

Seasons Don’t Last Forever

I have resolved to live, not just endure, every season of my life.
~Anonymus

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and I’ve realized how easy it is to get stuck in our thoughts. We can be stuck in the past, present, or future.

Past

A problem that comes up when we are stuck in the past is that we torture ourselves by reliving things that can no longer be changed. We are embarrassed, worry about whether people remember certain things, and are just simply harming ourselves.

However, it is important to use the past to help us not repeat mistakes. It is also wonderful to reflect on how far we and others have come, and how God has answered prayers. When we feel bored or drained, it can be beneficial to remember the good times and feel hopeful for the future.

Next time you feel stuck in the past, I suggest looking ahead towards the future. Start planning out your goals and think about what you can do instead of what you can’t. If you are feeling reminiscent, then focus on how you can learn from the past instead of just beating yourself up on past mistakes.

Present

Being “present” is vital, but there are issues when we get too focused on only the present. It can makes us feel stuck, hopeless, and unmotivated. Especially during a time when we are experiencing new things that are not all pleasant, it’s easy to feel like this time will never end.

However, I promise you, it will. Make the most of the extra time you have with family, and see if there are ways you can reach out to others. We don’t have to let ourselves get stuck. We can change our lives no matter what stage we are in!

Good things about being present in every season is that you are aware of what’s going on around you and you are able to live fully. Enjoy every moment and appreciate all the things that God is doing in your life.

Future

Future thinkers are often either praised or scolded for being too prepared. It can be easy to stress about the future and forget about the present, or even the past, when God has been there for us. It can be hard to pay attention to what’s going on around you when you’re solely focused on what’s next.

Slow down and smell the flowers! Think about what God is doing in the present season, not just the next one. There’s nothing we can do with just worrying. Instead, we need to take action to make the now better for the future.

It’s important to plan and be prepared, but it’s also important to relax and remember that you can’t control everything that’s going to be thrown your way. We don’t have to just accept what happens to us, though. We can use it to help us grow into the people we are meant to be. So if you are busy planning ahead, that’s okay, but also take some time to remember to enjoy the moment before it passes you by.

Seasons

For me, I’ve had some issues being stuck in the present lately. It’s hard to know when this will all be over. But I’ve been trying to use my time in a way that I won’t regret. You may have related to one or more of these ways of thinking, and I know it changes throughout our lives. Just remember that no matter what season you’re in, God is always working, and there are things you can do to improve it if you aren’t feeling satisfied. Don’t miss out on the life God has for you by focusing on what you can’t control.

There’s a season to move on, which can be really hard to do. I often struggle with this, wondering if by moving on, I’m missing out on something. But sometimes God is calling us to do that, because He has something even better waiting for us. Listen to His voice, read the Bible, and see if this is a season of waiting or a season for change.

If you’re going through a rough time right now, I hope you can feel God’s presence today. People care about you and love you. This will not last forever, I promise.

For those of you thriving right now, that’s wonderful! I hope that you are able to spend time enjoying this season and don’t worry too much about when it will end. All good things do have to end, but that’s only so that we can move on to something even greater.

So, make the most of the season you’re in! It’s a gift from God, whether it be fond memories or a time to learn.

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal.”
Ecclesiastics 3:1-8

Don’t Question the Timing

“And if everything does not fall into place at the same time and pace, that does not mean that the years you’ve waited have somehow been a waste. Keep planting, sowing, living and knowing that beautiful things take time..and that’s okay.”
Morgan Harper Nichols

“When you start to feel like things should have been better this year, remember the mountains and valleys that got you here. They are not accidents, and those moments weren’t in vain. You are not the same. You have grown, and you are growing. You are breathing, you are living, you are wrapped in endless, boundless grace. And things will get better. There is more to you than yesterday.”
Morgan Harper Nichols

A lot of times, the timing of events doesn’t feel right. We don’t want to wait. We are angry about things being cancelled. We are disappointed because things coincided or were too far apart to make the difference we wanted. Especially now, with so many things disrupted with the virus.

For those Seniors out there, those retiring teachers, those people who planned a big trip…I am truly sorry for you. It’s got to be really hard. It is really hard. It’s hard for all of us in our own unique ways.

But I think there can be blessings behind the timing of events, too. If we are willing to admit to God’s plan instead of our own.

My amazing friend was supposed to come visit for my birthday, and I was super excited about it. But as the stay at home order extends, that didn’t happen, and doesn’t seem to be likely for at least a month or so. However, my birthday was last week, and now I believe it was God’s timing to have us wait on her visit.

On my birthday, my dog passed away and this friend had a painful health issue arise, which is thankfully healed now. However, if those things had happened during the visit, there would’ve been even more stress, and God is making us wait for a time when He will make it better.

God’s plan is always better than ours. Repeat that to yourself. ALWAYS.

That’s really hard to remember. I struggle with it a lot. I am pretty impatient, and I get frustrated easily with God’s pacing. I was really upset with how things worked out with timing last week, actually. But looking back, I understand it was because God wants me to trust Him and see how He is working through everything.

God’s plan never fails. NEVER. And that’s something that should bring a smile and a sigh of relief to you. A lot of things don’t make sense at the time, but if you look back at other times in your life when things didn’t make sense, you may see how God worked it out in the end.

It’s ok to pray and ask God all your questions. He will listen and He will answer. But just remember that sometimes His answer isn’t what you wanted to hear. However, chances are it’s even better.

I know this was a tough read, and I struggle with doubting God, doubting the timing, and being downright angry with God about things not going the way I want.

But I had a conversation with a mentor of mine a few days ago, and she reminded me that we shouldn’t pray for our will, but for God’s will, because in the end, that’s what we should want if we want the best life possible.

I have faith that you are strong enough to get through whatever storms come in your way. But just remember that you don’t have to go through it alone. God brings us through storms to bring us closer to Him and to those who love us.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”
Ecclesiastes 3:11

The Three Dollar Tree

Someday, everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.
John Mayer

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”
Maya Angelou

We have this tree in our backyard that’s super skinny and used to have barely any leaves. Occasionally we thought it would die because the leaves would turn a burnt color and we wouldn’t have minded terribly since it was only three dollars. But years have passed and now it has grown into a tree that attracts all kinds of birds, with lush leaves and a firm foundation.

A lot of times we feel like the three dollar tree. We feel like our beginnings are what defines us and we feel like giving up. But if we work with what we have and not let our mistakes shape how we present ourselves to the world, then we can grow into a person who brings life to those around us.

It’s easy to feel intimidated by the people who have exciting stories of how they came to faith. Or perhaps it’s the family that has always grown up in the church and seems so strong and stable that cause you to feel insecure. But no matter where you are on your faith journey, you are significant and still growing. No one has reached the end of their growing until they get to Heaven.

In daily life, it can be difficult to see all the wonderful changes and opportunities that are in store for us. It’s easy to look at the day-to-day and feel stuck. I’ve often found myself in that place where I don’t want to be, but I’ve resigned myself to.

But if we look at the bigger picture, we can realize that we don’t have to give up. We don’t have to settle for what’s in front of us. We can realize that we have more in store than what others expect of us.

In times of discouragement, it is vital to remember how loved we are by God and others. If we never forget that, then we can have hope that the same God that planned our lives has an ultimate purpose for us. He isn’t going to settle for some mediocre creation– He’s going to go all out. Because you are special and you were created in a unique way so that you can do something that no one else has done before.

Our only job now is to see what God calls us to do and go for it. Don’t let your fears or insecurities hold you back for the beautiful things that lie ahead.

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
Isaiah 40:31

Seasons

“What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t happened yet.”

“And whatever you do, don’t look back!”

That line seems to appear in many movies, books, and TV shows, where the protagonist has to choose whether to move on or to look back at a painful past. Usually, the audience knows immediately that the character shouldn’t be swayed by old emotions and memories, and just needs to move on.

But in our own lives, is it really that easy?

Discerning God’s will can be one of the most challenging things we ever do. I know because it’s just as hard for me as it is for you. And if it’s not hard for you, well, teach me your ways!

Sometimes God is calling us out of an old season of our lives into a new one. A fresh one. A beautiful one.

But then that good ol’ past is calling out our names. “Don’t forget about this desire you had! Don’t forget about that missed opportunity!”

Sometimes we do things in life that we really regret. But it’s important to take all you learned from that choice and leave the rest behind. God is constantly calling us into a deeper relationship with Him, and before we can do that, we have to let go of some old baggage.

Despite how obvious choices are presented in the media, we don’t know the future, the ending, or how other people feel. We just have to go with what we believe is right. The past may seem more alluring to some than others, and it can be hard to do the difficult thing that separates our future from our history.

We fear for the future, clutching at every last moment we can have of it. When I was a child, I feared growing up with all I had in me, trying to stay a kid as long as possible. But when that day came and I realized that there was so much I was missing out on, I was ready to move on. God waits patiently for us to make that decision to move on from what we’ve grown comfortable with. God knows our deepest desires and our painful mistakes. But He is willing to use those things for His bigger purposes, if we follow His call.

This saying will always stick with me, no matter what. I tell myself this when something good or bad happens, because it keeps me hopeful.

The best is yet to come.

“The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”
2 Peter 3:9

What to Think Right Now

“Remember when you once dreamed of being where you are right now.”
-Tom Holland

I was reminded of this powerful quote while going through an old diary. Ironically, I am in a place now where I had only dreamed of being at that time. Not some fantastic location, either physically or mentally. Rather, I’m away from a lot of the stress factors in my life, and perhaps that was what I really needed.

Right now can be a really hard time to be appreciative. I totally get that. I feel the pain of those missing out on their “lasts”, or celebrations that only come once, or just going crazy while being surrounded by the same few people day after day. I know it must be so hard to worry about something we can’t control.

But as I’ve said time and time again, because it can never be said enough, fear is the greatest robber of all. I have talked about how fear steals joy, but fear also deeply damages our relationship with God. It causes us to not do what God wants us to do, and instead view His calling as a disruption in our daily to-do lists.

This virus is a major disruption in our lives. But do we have to let it be?

We could use this time to reach out to others. We could try new things, get more rest, look back on the past to see what God is doing. God isn’t silent during this time, but we can only hear Him if we listen with an open heart. I emphasis open because if we don’t want to hear what He’s saying, or we aren’t prepared to act on it, then what’s the point in listening?

I have a friend, a dear friend of mine who I absolutely love of course, but one thing she does that bothers me is that she often asks me for advice, but already has her own plans in mind. She will repeatedly ask me the same questions and wait around until I just say, “Go along with whatever you wanted.” It annoys me because I feel like she’s not really asking for me to guide her to the right decision, she will just hear the part she wants to hear.

We can so easily fall into the trap of just hearing what we want to hear from God and getting disappointed by the results. Even if God does tell you to do something and it doesn’t go as planned, it doesn’t mean you heard wrong, it just means that God’s plan isn’t going the way you expected. He has something even bigger in store for you.

I hope that you can find at least one thing to feel grateful for during this time. The biggest gift you can give yourself is not throwing a pity party for yourself, but rather feeling hopeful and thankful for your life.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.”
-1 Chronicles 16:34

A Meaningless Life

“Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.”
Ecclesiastes 2:8

Do you ever read a verse in the Bible and go “WOAH, like…I actually relate to that!”?

So I read this verse the other day and it really struck me. A lot of times in my life I have wondered if what I’m doing is really worth anything. I have done some pretty trivial things in my life, blowing them all out of proportion in my head, just for them to not work out. I focus my time and energy on things and end up with nothing in the end.

I think that whether we seem to have achieved anything at the end of a particular journey is the motivation behind it. I’ll give you two examples from my own life. (Yes they will be cringy but hopefully you can relate better haha)

Example A: In middle school, probably the most awkward time of most people’s lives, I really wanted to be friends with this one person, so I went to great lengths to try and do whatever I could to connect with her. I went to embarrassing lengths, to be honest, and now I regret that. She ended up not really realizing that I wanted to be friends with her, after all that, and eventually we both just moved on. My motivation behind wanting to be friends with her was not really that I cared a lot about her, it was more that I really wanted to have that person as my friend because it would open up doors for me and because I wanted to be more like her. In the end, I was left with really nothing to show for my efforts.

Example B: For several years, I knew of a family going through a really rough time. I gave whatever I could to them, knowing that they probably couldn’t even give me much appreciation in return. I cared very deeply for them and I knew that what I was doing to show them love, even if it might have seemed “over-the-top”, was what God wanted me to do. In the end, I really have nothing to “show for it”, but I still know that I did what was right and I feel like I did gain some things: compassion and understanding, to name a few.

I think it’s important to frequently check in with yourself and see what your motivations are behind your actions and pursuits. Sometimes the motivation starts off as good, but turns more selfish as you go along. Other times it’s the opposite. But if you want to live a meaningful life, you should have self-awareness and listen to the sometimes unconscious realizations of your heart, telling you what you should and shouldn’t do. If you are beginning to feel like you are really just being nice to a person because you feel like you have to or you want something out of the relationship, then you should change your mindset. If you feel discouraged because you have been showing God’s love to someone who is not reciprocating, remember that you are still doing the right thing and eventually you will reap the benefits of these actions. If nothing else, you will have become a better person. But also make sure to surround yourself with people who care about you and fill you up, too. It’s easy to become drained when constantly pouring out but never getting poured into.

A lot of people worry that at the end of their life no one will really remember them or their accomplishments anymore. Honestly, if you weren’t the leader of a country or the face of a movement, that’s quite likely, at least eventually. But the thing that really matters is how you impacted others and how you felt at the end of your life. Did you do what God was telling you to? Did you make other people feel like they belonged? Did you notice that one person who needed a friend and loved on them?

Take the time today to think about what you want to have said yes to at the end of your life. Use today to be the day to make that yes an honest one. Every day that you are here is for a reason, and if you use each day of your life, then you will never regret a single moment.

Never For Nothing

There once was a story that I heard, a fable of sorts, and it went similarly to this: There was a person who thought that he was having guests over that he wanted to impress, so he cleaned his entire house, something he had not done for quite some time. He spent hours upon hours cleaning, and his house had never looked quite so good. But then the guests cancelled, and only his wise neighbor came by to visit. The man said, “What a waste it was to do all this work for nothing.” The neighbor replied, “What do you mean? Now you finally have a clean house!”

This story came to mind tonight as I thought about all the things I’ve done in my life that I thought had no value. Some of these things may sound familiar to you. Reaching out to a person just to receive nothing back, going out of my comfort zone, starting things that may not always turn out the way I expect.

If you’re waiting for things to go the way you want them to, and that is the only way for them to have value, then I guess you’ll have always been right. There was no point.

But if you see the clean house, the long term effects, the person you became through the process of disappointment, discouragement, and confusion, then everything will have a purpose.

There are so many stories of people who were going through a rough time and one person reached out to them, showed them God’s love, and changed their life forever. I want to be part of a story like that, and you might too. But that person who reached out may not have felt appreciated or the rewards of their work with every person they reached out to. We may only being hearing about the one out of every twenty that was changed. But isn’t that one worth all the rest?

Jesus is so often compared to a shepherd, one that will leave the ninety nine to find just one sheep that’s lost. We should be willing to do that too.

That is one motivator for trying even when things don’t seem to be reaping success. But another is that we may have no idea what the effects are of what we are doing until much later.

I recently heard the true story of a man in Australia who spent every day greeting travelers and spreading God’s love and hospitality. People absolutely loved him. One day, after years of doing this, he was getting older and in the hospital. A teacher had heard about what this man had done and about hundreds of people around the world who had become Christian because of him. He sparked questions and a longing to know what he was talking about in these people. So the teacher flew all the way to Australia to meet this remarkable person. And you know what? After the teacher told the man all about how many lives he had changed, the man began to cry. Despite doing this every single day of his life for so long, he had no idea if even one person had been saved. But he still kept trying. And it was worth it.

Many of us will never know on this side of Heaven whether anything we did for others had the effect we desired. It’s hard to wait, I know. I have often felt discouraged as I poured out my heart for people, doing whatever I thought I could, knowing that it would never be enough to get them what they needed. It’s even worse when the people you care so much about do not seem to always notice your efforts. But I have to have faith that I did the right thing, and if you are or have been in a similar situation, then I hope you do too.

Whether you are wondering if your actions for others was worthwhile or not, you can never have complete peace until you take a look at things from a new perspective. You have to see the clean house rather than the guests that didn’t show up. You have to keep going even if you don’t know if it will ever pay off. You should have the desire to do what God is calling you to do, even if it doesn’t make sense right now. Because it will.

My point is this: it won’t have worth until you believe that it does. What you do with the right heart is never for nothing.

“If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders away, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others on the hills and go out to search for the one that is lost?”
Matthew 18:12