Advice – Page 5 – The Will to Wake Up

Is Being Popular a Sin?

The media often picks on celebrities in the hopes of making it sound like fame has gone to their heads and they have abandoned their faith. But is it a sin to be popular?

Whenever a pastor or Christian celebrity becomes well-known, people often doubt them. People poke and prod them until some sort of dark secret is revealed. If no traces of a sketchy past are found, then people assume their motives are bad. Maybe they’re in it for the fame or money. They certainly couldn’t be doing this because God called them to! This leads to the question, is being popular a sin?

When I was 15, I certainly wanted it to be a sin. All those popular people seemed to have everything, yet they excluded others, or at least me. It’s easy to take our past hurts, even when those hurts were caused by simply unaware people, and misconstrue scripture in a way that makes those characteristics a sin.

Many like to argue these two verses in favor of fame being a sin:

“You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.” (Matthew 10:22)

“Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” (James 4:4)

Now, just to clear things up, I do not believe fame or popularity is a sin. For one thing, what’s the exact definition of popularity anyway? To me, someone with twenty friends is popular, while to another, a person with one hundred friends is popular, and so on. I think we can all agree on some people being famous, such as Francis Chan, Franklin Graham, and Amy Grant. And for another, we can’t allow our jealousy of another’s success cause us to doubt their intentions or validity. Certainly we must use discernment, but not in a way that condemns others.

The way to know whether or not a person is using their status in a godly way is to see what they’re doing with it. Are they letting fame get to their head? Are they denying the Bible in any way? Are they doing things that Jesus wouldn’t have done?

Those are good questions to not ask just of well-known people, but of ourselves too. Are we letting other people’s opinions of us shape us more than God’s word? Are we falling into temptation? Are we speaking truth and love?

Anyone (not just celebrities) can allow the world to change them for the worst. Being a friend of the world doesn’t mean being admired or appreciated. It means being disloyal to Jesus. No matter your life’s path, we will all be held accountable for what we did when the time comes. The most important thing to do is allow God to work through any opportunity He gives you. If you are privileged enough to influence a large number of people, then be a positive influence. If you are only seeing family right now, then focus your energy on being a loving family member. God works through each and every one of us individually. He can work through any situation.

For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.
Philippians 2:13

For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.
Romans 8:2

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Does the past cling onto you? Do old memories resurface in your mind far too often? Here is some encouragement.

Are you ever going about your day, things are going alright, and then suddenly it hits you– a memory from the past. This memory, whether pleasant or embarrassing or painful, persistently pushes its way into your mind until you feel obligated to think about it. After a few minutes, you’ve stopped everything just to ruminate on the past. You start feeling discontent, uncomfortable, and perhaps even angry. Maybe something is haunting you or you miss the safety of the “known”.

Believe it or not, the Bible doesn’t kid around when it comes to warning us about getting “stuck in the past”. Take Lot’s wife. Her family was saved by God (with a little help from Abraham) from a terrible city just before its destruction. Yet she still looked back, and then poof, she became a pillar of salt!

I’ve often wondered why she was tempted to look back on such a horrible time in her life. Though don’t we often fixate on those moments we wish we could change? That one mistake that led us here. Or perhaps there’s a sense of safety, even in a painful past, that the unknown future doesn’t give us?

Yet I believe with my whole heart that looking back can destroy us. I don’t take this issue lightly, and it’s because I’ve been “destroyed” in this way. No, I haven’t become a pillar of salt, but I have missed out on enjoying the present by focusing on the past. I’ve also lost self-confidence, self-respect, and gratitude to God during these darker moments of my life.

Sometimes it seems harmless to allow those memories to fill our minds. But they tend to take over, an unwelcome guest, staying “rent free” in our heads. I’ll give you a recent example from my life, and perhaps you can think of your own.

A little less than a year ago, a relationship I had poured myself into began dwindling away. I deeply grieved this loss and spent much of the summer and fall wondering what I had done wrong. But over time, I was able to move past it and allow myself to let go. However, every so often, a memory will pop into my mind. Usually it’s an embarrassing one, and I start criticizing myself all over again.

Now, this isn’t constructive in the least bit. I’m just hurting myself all over again when there’s nothing more I can do to “make things right”. And I’ll bet these “mistakes” I made in conversations weren’t what caused our relationship to take a different turn than what I had hoped for. We like to blame the wrong things when life changes naturally, don’t we?

But you know what the saddest thing about this situation is? I’ve let these intrusive thoughts separate me from God. I’ve taken more time to relive a bad memory and secretly wish to be back there to reverse things than thank God for all He’s currently doing in my life. By going back to that unhealthy place, I’m not giving myself the respect that I deserve either. And you know what? It’s been proven that our memory changes with time. Who knows if what we remember is even the truth?

Just for the record, I’m not saying looking back on the past is a bad thing. And we shouldn’t sugarcoat the bad things that have happened in our lives just to please others or because we think we have to. But we also shouldn’t allow the past to control the present. In fact, it shouldn’t even be the biggest influencer in our present. God needs to be. Listening to the Holy Spirit needs to be. Noticing what makes you and those around you joyful needs to be.

There are so many things we can learn from the past. I mean, that’s why we have history class at school, right? But the bottom line is this: You will never miss out on what’s meant for you. When we focus on the past, we forget that vital truth. We stop trusting God and put our hopes and dreams into something that isn’t relevant anymore. And when we put our trust in God instead, we will begin to see the changes we were hoping for.

Next time you find yourself reminiscing, think about how God is using your past to help shape you for the future. Allow yourself to focus on what God is doing in the here and now. Remembering how God has proven Himself to you can encourage you. But so can paying attention to all the things God does on a daily basis! I hope and pray you are able to slowly let go and move onto the path God has laid out for you.

And that path, my friend, only leads forward.

Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:13-14

Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
Isaiah 43:18-19

(Normally I just end with Bible verses, but I found a few inspirational quotes that are encouraging too!)

Keep planting and sowing, living and knowing: beautiful things take time, and that is okay.
Morgan Harper Nichols

You are allowed to let go of all those that do not set you free anymore.
Dhiman

Don’t dig up in doubt what you planted in faith.
Elisabeth Elliot

When to Speak Truth

Do you struggle to know when to tell people a tough truth you’ve noticed about them?

I was talking to one of my friends today, and we both agreed that the thing that seems the most “taboo” these days is offending someone. We do everything we can to avoid it, even lying about important things.

Now, I am certainly not saying you should go out and say hurtful things to others. But I do think we should be more aware of when we compromise our values in favor of flattering someone rather than being honest. We must speak the truth in love, not in a way that is intentionally sharp or demeaning. When we are seeking to be more honest, we must ask ourselves these questions:

1. Why is saying this important?

Words are like weapons. They can protect, or they can destroy. We must use our words to build people up and to help them grow. If this piece of honest advice will help the person you care about, then tell them. If it will help them grow closer to God, then tell them. If this will change an unpleasant situation, tell them.

Really evaluate why you believe you should say this. That may motivate you to speak this truth if you were unsure. This may help you better word what you have to say. Or maybe if you’re saying it for the wrong reason, you can reevaluate what you need to do. But before making any decision, knowing why you are considering doing it is wise.

2. Am I saying this because I want to be honest and helpful or because I want to feel better about myself?

Now, the one place I have seen people blunt and loose-lipped is on social media. People have no issue yelling at each other and criticizing everyone who does one little thing wrong. The reason why this is hurtful and unproductive is because these words, while they may have a grain of truth to them, come from a place of self-righteousness, anger, and hate. Just like the old saying about bullies at school, hurt people hurt people.

So during that evaluation process of why you want to honestly tell someone something, think about if it’s coming from a place of love or a place of pride. Do you feel like you are better than this person? If you do, then what you have to say will likely not help them. But if you believe that you also have things you struggle with, but you’re just farther along on the faith journey, or you happen to have noticed something that could help someone, then you are doing this for the right reason.

3. Is this person already aware of this issue?

Now, I’ll admit I don’t like being corrected. During this time where God’s been teaching me a lot about humility, I’ve come to learn how to discern between constructive and destructive criticism. Then I’ve learned how to accept and grow from the constructive criticism.

But the thing I get so annoyed by is when I’m currently working on a weakness and someone comes up and informs me of that weakness. It’s like, yeah, couldn’t you tell I was working on it? And then I just feel even more discouraged.

Now, if you don’t realize that someone is working on that weakness, that’s one thing. But if you can tell that they are actively trying to improve as a person, then encourage them!

I hope these tips helped you. I know it can be so hard to speak the truth in love, but nothing good comes easy, right? Today, think about how you can better accept truth from people who care about you and want to help you. Also ask God if there’s anything you need to tell someone in your life to help them grow in their faith too.

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.
1 John 1:8

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.
2 Timothy 2:15

The Beauty of Silence

How often do you find yourself so consumed by what you want to say, you have trouble listening to others? Here’s some advice!

We often underestimate how powerful our words can be.

I know a lot of people use that line to lead up to a “taming of the tongue” speech, but it’s so true. I’ve been reading through Proverbs (which by the way, if you want an overload of wisdom, go check it out) and there is so much advice about using our words wisely.

Our culture emphasizes saying as much as we can whenever we can. But that leads us to be too busy thinking about what we want to say that we don’t listen to anyone else. Being “quiet” is often undervalued. The quiet people are left on their own to observe life and may even be teased, when in reality, King Solomon in the Bible suggests that the people who use their words sparingly and wisely are the ones we should learn from.

The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.
Proverbs 17:27-28

In a society where anyone can say anything, often via social media, we are encouraged to talk over each other and not really listen to what anyone else is saying. That’s why I’m so glad there’s been a recent push to listen to those who have been previously silenced. An old saying goes, it’s better to be a good listener than a good talker.

I’m sure, whether you enjoy talking or listening more, you have noticed how the outgoing, chatty people attract more friends. Hopefully you have a mix of multiple personalities within your friend group. Would you want to tell your deepest secret or confide your toughest feelings in the popular, talkative friend or in the friend who is a good listener?

Now, I’m not saying that popular, outgoing people can’t be good listeners. Sometimes the quiet people aren’t good listeners either, and are more in their own world. But what I mean is that we can all benefit from taking Solomon’s words to heart and treat each word like a valuable gift. If we use our words sparingly and with wisdom, then we will be less likely to gossip (which destroys friendships), say something in the heat of anger, or say something that offends someone.

If I still haven’t proved to you that being a good listener makes you a better person to be in relationship with, think about it this way. We all have that friend, you know the one, who talks for 90% of the conversation and asks you maybe one or two questions about your life. And while you’re answering, they cut in with their own example. You feel like you have to talk as fast as you can just to get a word in edgewise.

Sometimes I wonder if God feels like we do in that situation when we pray. We spend a chunk of our day simply talking to Him, which He loves, of course. But when do we give Him the chance to guide us? I guarantee what He has to say is more important than what we have to say.

But the best benefit of appreciating silence and learning how to listen is that it will help us be able to discern the voice of God. Our conversations with God are the most important we will ever have. And I use the word “conversation” because that’s what it needs to be– two-way!

I’ve shared here about my experiences with hearing from God, and I’ve noticed that when I am set on my own plans and busier, I have trouble knowing what God is telling me.

That’s why my challenge for you–and me!– this week is to take some intentional quiet time with God. No distractions, just you and God. And I bet that will open the door of communication between the two of you.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
James 1:19

If you would like to hear me read my blog posts and for additional encouragement, check out my new podcast!

Podcast: https://anchor.fm/hannah-chung4

The Trap that Comes with Doing Good

What activities have you committed to that now drain you?

I don’t know about you, but I have an overcommitment problem. I hear about something that sounds really good or needs my help, and I agree to participate. But then, over time, I struggle to feel motivated in that activity and my energy gets drained. I’ve often contemplated the reason this cycle keeps happening in my life, and a few possibilities come to mind. One, which I shared last week, would be trying to please people, having a difficult time saying no. Another would be not wanting to miss out.

But the one I’m going to be diving into today is my desire to be good, to please God, to redeem myself, through works. And besides the fact that this makes us think we no longer need salvation, it also causes us to distance ourselves from God.

Now, when you agree to lead a small group at church or take on another job to help someone, you probably don’t go into it thinking that you are doing it in order to “be good” or to “save yourself”. You probably do it thinking, “Oh, this sounds like a good cause, and God likes it when we help others, so I’ll do this.” Or maybe you do it for your own benefit or because you care about people.

But the truth is, when we go into things with the mindset that we’re in control of our lives and that God wants us to take care of ourselves (rather than relying on Him), we end up living for the wrong things and feel spiritually drained.

In my family, self-sufficiency is a high priority. Growing up, I was complimented as being independent by teachers and school counselors. I loved (and still fall into the trap of loving) the feeling of being in control and not needing to rely on anyone.

While we shouldn’t relying on people to make us satisfied or happy, we need to be in desperate want of Jesus. Our relationship with Jesus is one where we are needy, empty without Him. He’s the only one who should define us and who can fulfill us.

When we take opportunities that make us feel like we’re earning our keep, so to speak, we lose sight on the amazing gift of grace God gives us. And eventually, we end up feeling worthless and exhausted when those opportunities cease filling our tank.

But of course, not all opportunities are bad. God purposely puts certain opportunities in our paths so that we can grow closer to Him and help others. You might be asking, “How can I know if an opportunity is one I should take?”

For us who are already in many commitments, think about which ones might be hard work, but still feel fulfilling. You can still see God working through you in them. Then think about the ones that truly drain you. Those are the ones that you may need to let go of. When we are doing things for God, we will always have motivation.

Here are a few key questions to ask yourself about the commitments you already have or before saying yes to another opportunity:

Why am I doing/considering doing this? Is it to make myself feel like a better person or is it because I know God wants me to do it?
Will I still have time for rest when adding this to my schedule?
Will I sacrifice time with God by doing this?
How am I allowing this opportunity to shape how I see myself?
And then ultimately pray, read the Bible, and listen to God for direction before making a decision.

I hope these tips help you as you continue your journey with God! The most important thing to remember is that we will never be perfect until we go to Heaven, so we shouldn’t be striving for perfection now or holding ourselves to extreme expectations. Instead, we must allow God’s grace and peace to fill our hearts each day.

Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God.
2 Corinthians 3:5

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

Side note: In relation to these themes, I’d highly recommend listening to the song Beautiful Things, by Worship Together. God is making beautiful things through you!

Inner Beauty is Most Valuable

Do you struggle with feeling good about your appearance? Here’s some encouragement.

I’ve seen a lot of posts recently about people sharing vulnerably their stories that deal with lack of self-esteem related to their bodies. I think many of us, some more severely than others, have struggled to see ourselves as worthy, especially in relation to our appearance. With all our culture’s standards, it can be difficult to remember how valuable we are. There are so many verses about not focusing on the outward appearance, such as (and not limited to):

The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. A man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7

Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror.
James 1:23

Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.
Matthew 7:20

These verses can serve as both a comfort and a warning. You might ask, “But Hannah, I don’t particularly like my appearance. I’m not going into the modeling business or some career that mostly focuses on outward beauty. I’m not like that person over there who clearly works hard at their appearance.”

First of all, we have no idea how much a person cares about what they look like. They might be just as insecure as one of us and we shouldn’t judge based on how beautiful we perceive them to be.

And second, we can be just as guilty of focusing too much on our outward appearance when we criticize ourselves as someone who thinks they are overly gorgeous and makes sure everyone knows it. (And that person, by the way, is probably doing that to seek validation, so they probably aren’t even as secure as you may think)

It’s so important to take care of ourselves and to love who we are because God made us that way. But it’s also important to just not focus too much on what we look like. When we place working or stressing over our appearance above who we are as a person and what we’re doing for God’s kingdom, then we miss out on what God has planned for us. We lose sight of what’s truly important in our lives.

And in the end, our bodies will fade away. All that’s left will be our souls. So why don’t we take the time to work on what will last forever instead of the temporary, especially if our bodies cause us grief?

Instead of asking yourself, what food should I eat to make my body attractive or why don’t I look as beautiful as that person over there, ask yourself these questions:

Am I living in a way that honors God?
Do the people around me feel loved?
Am I doing things that I feel passionate about?
Am I taking time to rest?
What am I doing to serve others?

That’s not to say don’t take care of yourself. It just means that once you start focusing on living out God’s will, then your body will not be the center of your life anymore. People will start noticing you for your amazing character traits instead of your looks.

But these verses are also meant to be a comfort. God sees us in a way no one else can. We (and others) see ourselves through a broken mirror, broken by sin, broken by society’s expectations, broken by lies. We are broken until we allow God to heal us, to make us who we are meant to be.

You are loved and worthy and beautiful no matter what you look like. Never forget that.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13

Live Like There is a Tomorrow

Are you more inclined to live like there’s no tomorrow or like every decision will affect the rest of your life?

A phrase that gets thrown around a lot these days is “live like there isn’t a tomorrow”. The intention behind that phrase is to remind us that we need to take risks and not count on there being some “better” time to do something that we’ve been putting off.

Living without fear of the future and without regrets is super important. I completely support the idea of living that way. But I think we are ignoring other vital truths by acting like we have to do everything RIGHT THIS MINUTE. We forget what it means to be patient.

Now being patient and procrastinating are two very different things.

An example of being patient is when you remain single because you know in your heart that you haven’t met the one God has for you yet and you trust that you’ll meet that person eventually, but for now you are content.

An example of procrastinating is refusing to get into a relationship with someone who feels right because you are afraid of commitment or you want to continue playing the field when you need to be more responsible.

The problem with living too much in one lifestyle, not having that balance of “no regrets living” and “oh let’s wait living”, is that then we cannot fully live life the way God intends for us. If we get so caught up in the moment, we don’t think about how our present actions might negatively affect things in the future. But if we are stuck overanalyzing everything and never make a decision, then we can’t appreciate the joys of spontaneity and trusting God through whatever we end up deciding to do.

Today I want you to think about why you are where you are and why you are doing what you are doing.

Are you going for that promotion because you have worked long and hard, and you know that’s the next step to take in your career? Or is it because you feel like you just have to have the next best thing in order to be the greatest?

Are you in a relationship with this person because you feel like they are who God has given you for this stage of your life and you love them? Or is it because you think you will never find anyone better?

You could fill in the blanks of those questions for whatever you’re doing right now. For me, I’m trying to figure out if the reason I’ve slowed down in my college preparation process is because I’m nervous about making the wrong decisions or if it’s because I want more clarity from God.

Everyone has a different answer to the question of whether or not they are making decisions off of fear of the future happening vs fear of the future never coming. But my overall point is to realize that yes, there may not be a tomorrow. But you do have to think long term and realize that God tells us to both wait and act in the Bible.

Never wait to deepen your relationship with God or to say the words you know someone needs to hear. But perhaps there are other things in your life that need to slow down.

I’m not speaking on God’s behalf. Like with everything else, listen to God and figure out what He’s telling you through everything you’re going through. He understands the best.

Therefore, return to your God,
Observe kindness and justice,
And wait for your God continually.
Hosea 12:6

Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.
Psalm 27:14

Fresh Start

Are you trying to start fresh but having difficulties along the way?

Sometimes we all just need a fresh start.

Maybe we have to let go of something or someone that wasn’t right for us. Maybe we’re in a really bad place mentally and we have to just get a new outlook on life. Maybe we are just tired of being tired of…everything.

You get this great idea to clear out the clutter, to become a brand new person, and to not have to hold onto the past.

So it’s going well, until…

You suddenly feel like maybe you aren’t making progress. You feel just as bad as you once were. You don’t know what to do.

I know this sounds cliché, but the path to true healing isn’t a straight line. The path to becoming who you are meant to be isn’t going to just feel like it’s getting better and better.

Okay, that’s where the key word “feel” comes in. The truth is, all those steps backwards you feel like you’re taking are actually just tests, preparing you for the end result.

But it’s not going to be easy. It’s not easy for anyone who is actively trying to become who they’re meant to be.

But we can’t let these setbacks hinder us or discourage us from pursuing the life God has called us to. We have to go into the unknown with the knowledge that things won’t be easy, but that doesn’t mean things aren’t working the way they are meant to.

It just means it’s different from what we expect.

Speaking of new beginnings, fresh starts, I am in the process of starting fresh too. I went through some soul searching in the fall and I have come to a better place now. It hasn’t been easy and at times I’ve wanted to give up, but then I remember how God has been there for me in the past and how He has things planned out better than what I can ever imagine or hope for. (See, remembering the goodness of God is a benefit of remember the past!)

Anyway, one of the steps I’ve taken to start fresh is starting a new blog. I haven’t gotten it completely ready yet, but I’ve posted a couple articles. I will still be posting on here too, but I’d love for you to check out this blog as well. In time, I may transition to one or the other only, but for now I’ll be posting on both. I hope you enjoy it and find my posts encouraging and meaningful!

Here’s the link: https://hannahhobi.wixsite.com/mysite

Wherever you’re at in your faith journey, know that you’re not alone in what you’re going through.

Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Philippians 1:6

Forward

Having trouble letting go of someone? Here is some advice and encouragement.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but…

It’s okay to move forward. It’s okay to move on. It’s not mean.

If you needed to hear that, then someone probably came to mind. Perhaps an old friend, an ex, a person from your past that hurt you. But you were close, and you don’t want to let go.

Maybe everyone close to you has told you that you need to let go. That it would be the best thing for your mental health. That you deserve better.

And if you’re at the stage where you know that letting go is better for you, then you agree. You know that you are a child of God, born to love and to be loved back.

But something is stopping you. Something is in your path, denying you the chance to move on.

Perhaps you didn’t get the closure that you needed.

Let me tell you, I lived with the lie–that false belief that plagues our media obsessed society– that we have to get closure in order to move on. Then, literally a couple days ago, a post by a psychology expert changed my life.

To paraphrase, her post went something like this: I don’t know who gave you the idea that you have to get closure in order to move on. Maybe it was all those romance movies or books, the way the media likes to make us feel like we’re the anomaly…but the thing is, so many of us don’t get closure. And if we do, then we still have questions afterwards. There’s never going to be that moment that the other person makes for us where we suddenly lose that love and feel as free as a bird soaring through the sky. But the thing the media doesn’t tell us is that those movies are all fiction. Our lives are our own. We are the only ones who can give ourselves the freedom to move on and enjoy life again.

To add to that, from a Christian perspective, yes, we are the only ones who can bring closure. Except, we can’t do it alone. Jesus is there and He knows what it’s like to feel rejected, abandoned, and betrayed–by His own loved ones! His disciples! He does completely understand how we feel and He is the only one who will never leave us.

Here’s some tough love. You’re not going to get closure.

You’re not.

Not in the way you expect, anyway. Oh sure, you might have a good long talk. You might even part ways as the sun is setting behind the mountains as joyful tears fall from your face. But that’s never going to be enough.

The only way to feel fully content is to find your joy and satisfaction in Jesus. The only way to not be lonely is to surround yourself with God’s love, by praying continually and reading the Bible, not to mention staying in close contact with others who encourage and support you.

You might feel like a mean person for moving on, and I get that. I get all of these feelings.

But the thing is, you are making the choice to move on from this person because they hurt you. Because they weren’t good for you. Because you know deep down in your heart that the Holy Spirit (plus your best friends) told you that it’s time to let go.

So, if you feel like moving on means that you’re still in contact, but just not relying on them, then fine. If moving on means that you’re blocking them for your own sanity, then alright. If moving on means simply having that freeing feeling in your heart and not thinking about them anyone, then good.

Moving on isn’t the same for everyone. But ultimately it means that this person isn’t your whole world anymore. They aren’t going to be consuming your thoughts, bogging you down, or making you feel less than who God says you are.

Moving on means that you’re free. You can finally be who God created you to be without other people getting in the way of that.

I know it’s hard, but I also know you can do it.

Don’t give up.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that tis to be revealed to us.
Romans 8:18

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.
Isaiah 26:3

How to Have the Right Kind of Confidence

Have you ever felt confident about something, but then started doubting yourself? Here is how God can help us always be confident despite our imperfections.

I’m half Chinese, and so I’ve grown up using chopsticks at every meal. It’s become a skill I’m rather proud of, actually, and I’ve had the most hilarious time trying to teach some of my friends how to use them. Once when I was in youth group, we were playing a game that involved picking up tiny beads with chopsticks. I was excited since I’m not one known for being good at games, and I boldly declared, “I use chopsticks every day, so this won’t be too hard.” The other people on my team cheered me and commented on how glad they were that I was on their team. When it was my turn, something inside me seemed to turn off, and my chopsticks couldn’t seem to get the right grasp on that little bead. One rather annoying leader started laughing at me and denying my claims of having good chopstick skills, and at the time I was pretty embarrassed. I managed to get the bead the next time around, but a part of me felt completely defeated.

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That’s a pretty insignificant example, and looking back I shouldn’t have taken it so hard. But I thought this story would help demonstrate my point about confidence today.

Whether or not you are a super confident person (normally I’m not, unless apparently I have a pair of chopsticks in hand), we all have times where we know we are good at something, but when we go up to demonstrate it, we fumble. We forget. We can’t seem to perform the way we know we can.

That’s why I have a little issue with the term self-confidence. When we have extreme faith in our abilities, we end up feeling so much worse about ourselves when we have an off-day. We are suddenly full of doubt, even though we are human, and therefore bound to make mistakes.

I want you to have faith and believe in yourself. But I don’t want you to have complete reliance on that.

The reason is that because we are imperfect, we will never get something right 100% of the time. We can’t fully trust ourselves because of that.

But there is someone that we can have complete reliance on, and that’s Jesus. Jesus is perfect and never makes a single mistake. When we have confidence in Him, we don’t have to worry about not proving ourselves to others. Jesus doesn’t require us to please others– He only wants us to please Him.

The best part of having confidence in Jesus is that He can help us do things that we’ve never done before. We often have the most confidence in ourselves when we’ve practiced an activity numerous times or rehearsed a speech so much that the words are on the tip of our tongue. When we trust Jesus fully with everything we do, we don’t have to doubt ourselves when we make a mistake, because by Jesus’ perfect grace, we are still loved anyway.

So today, think of something that you were previously afraid of doing, but feel like God is telling you to do. Then, after praying, go out and do it. You don’t have to wait to have peace after it’s over. You can have peace now because no matter what the results are, Jesus has equipped you for them, and His peace can overflow in your heart.

Now faith is the assurance of what we hope for and the certainty of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1