Hannah Chung

How to Have the Right Kind of Confidence

Have you ever felt confident about something, but then started doubting yourself? Here is how God can help us always be confident despite our imperfections.

I’m half Chinese, and so I’ve grown up using chopsticks at every meal. It’s become a skill I’m rather proud of, actually, and I’ve had the most hilarious time trying to teach some of my friends how to use them. Once when I was in youth group, we were playing a game that involved picking up tiny beads with chopsticks. I was excited since I’m not one known for being good at games, and I boldly declared, “I use chopsticks every day, so this won’t be too hard.” The other people on my team cheered me and commented on how glad they were that I was on their team. When it was my turn, something inside me seemed to turn off, and my chopsticks couldn’t seem to get the right grasp on that little bead. One rather annoying leader started laughing at me and denying my claims of having good chopstick skills, and at the time I was pretty embarrassed. I managed to get the bead the next time around, but a part of me felt completely defeated.

Photo by bongkarn thanyakij on Pexels.com

That’s a pretty insignificant example, and looking back I shouldn’t have taken it so hard. But I thought this story would help demonstrate my point about confidence today.

Whether or not you are a super confident person (normally I’m not, unless apparently I have a pair of chopsticks in hand), we all have times where we know we are good at something, but when we go up to demonstrate it, we fumble. We forget. We can’t seem to perform the way we know we can.

That’s why I have a little issue with the term self-confidence. When we have extreme faith in our abilities, we end up feeling so much worse about ourselves when we have an off-day. We are suddenly full of doubt, even though we are human, and therefore bound to make mistakes.

I want you to have faith and believe in yourself. But I don’t want you to have complete reliance on that.

The reason is that because we are imperfect, we will never get something right 100% of the time. We can’t fully trust ourselves because of that.

But there is someone that we can have complete reliance on, and that’s Jesus. Jesus is perfect and never makes a single mistake. When we have confidence in Him, we don’t have to worry about not proving ourselves to others. Jesus doesn’t require us to please others– He only wants us to please Him.

The best part of having confidence in Jesus is that He can help us do things that we’ve never done before. We often have the most confidence in ourselves when we’ve practiced an activity numerous times or rehearsed a speech so much that the words are on the tip of our tongue. When we trust Jesus fully with everything we do, we don’t have to doubt ourselves when we make a mistake, because by Jesus’ perfect grace, we are still loved anyway.

So today, think of something that you were previously afraid of doing, but feel like God is telling you to do. Then, after praying, go out and do it. You don’t have to wait to have peace after it’s over. You can have peace now because no matter what the results are, Jesus has equipped you for them, and His peace can overflow in your heart.

Now faith is the assurance of what we hope for and the certainty of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

Shipwrecked

Are you in the middle of a storm right now? God commands us to not be afraid, even when things don’t seem to be looking good for us.

Imagine that you are being taken across the stormy seas, away from your home, and off to stand trial, where you are likely to face death. Suddenly, the ship is beginning to fall apart and everyone is terrified around you.

You would be scared, wouldn’t you?

In Acts (chapter 7), Paul is in this exact same circumstance. But he is met with an angel who commands him, “Do not be afraid”, and goes on to say that God has promised to spare the lives of everyone on the ship. Paul goes on to encourage everyone on board and even when they arrive safely (despite many hardships along the way), Paul’s life is spared in the courtroom as well.

You may have read this story before and thought that it was an interesting chapter of the Bible. Then you closed your Bible, went to bed, and spent hours contemplating all of your problems and worrying about what you can do to change the situation you are in right now.

Not many of us will be in a shipwreck like Paul. But we all have our own storms that are just as terrifying and life-altering as this one.

You may be struggling to trust God right now. But just as we continue to have storms, we also continue to have God, who promises to take care of us and tells us over and over again to not be afraid.

I know it’s really hard to understand why God is bringing you through this particular storm you’re in the middle of right now. But in the end, you wouldn’t have had the same opportunities to share God’s love and deepen your relationship with Him otherwise. Life is very difficult to comprehend, but looking back at all the times that God has led the way will help you realize how much He loves you and how God is the only One in control.

So today, if you are struggling to make sense of the situation you’re in, remember that you can always turn to God no matter what. He will be there to encourage you and help you encourage others with the hope and peace He will place inside you. You can’t do this alone, but that’s okay, because you aren’t alone. God will guide you and help you become exactly who you are meant to be. All you have to do is trust God and realize that whatever is meant for you will eventually be yours. Don’t be afraid.

Our Father

God will take care of you.

I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but God is going to take care of you.

Last weekend, my church continued a sermon series about what it’s like being part of the body of Christ. They specifically focused on a portion of the Lord’s Prayer, “Thy will be done”, and challenged us to think about whether or not we truly put our needs in the Lord’s hands when we call out to Him.

That got me thinking, and I initially wanted to do a post about this segment of the Lord’s Prayer. But then I realized that perhaps it would be even better to do a complete series about the Lord’s Prayer, going from addressing God as our father all the way through each stanza.

I don’t know what kind of father figure you had/have in your life. Perhaps he’s a wonderful man who makes you laugh, provides for your needs, and makes sure that you’re becoming who you’re meant to be. Or maybe you didn’t have a father like that. Perhaps it’s even painful to think of the word father. Or maybe you had a dad that cared about you, but wasn’t very good at showing it, or was unable to meet your needs.

Whatever situation you come from, I want you to realize that God is not any of the father figures you’ve seen or experienced. God is the attributes of a wonderful father– caring, compassionate, stable– only times a million!

But the attribute that I want to focus on today is that by God being your Heavenly Father, He is going to take care of you.

In fact, God promises that He knows what you need before you even have the need.

Last week, I was going through a rough time. Not a rough time as in experiencing a significant loss, doing terribly at work, or finding myself in a financial crisis. No, I was just having a rough time in my spiritual journey.

I was feeling very discouraged and burned out. I’m the type of person who puts my all in everything I do, which causes me to run out of energy occasionally. I felt like I wasn’t really hearing from God.

Then, to top it all off, I started feeling unwell. I was like, are you serious? How is this going to help me do what I need to do when I already feel so unmotivated?

But God still had a plan. I ended up taking a much needed rest for a few days and that caused me to put life back into perspective. Once I admitted my need for rest, I was healed.

Then, God answered a long-awaited prayer two days ago that really encouraged me. I finally have a very encouraging friend back in my life after not hearing from her for several months. I was overjoyed.

But last night, I could feel my faith wavering once more. Do you ever just have a rush of insecurities hit you all at once and suddenly you forget your purpose? That’s basically what happened to me, and the enemy uses this strategy on me a lot. I wrote out in my journal, “God, it’s hard for me to understand why I shouldn’t just give up on all the things grasping for my attention and energy. Please encourage me to keep going.” I also wrote down a reminder that “God never gives up” even when we want to.

Well, God very much heard my prayers! He gave me unexpected extra time this morning to reflect and spend some time in the Word and to write this post. It had been a silent desire of mine to have the morning off, and God had patiently listened. Then, as I was searching for a verse to put in this blog, I felt drawn to Hebrews, one of my favorite books of the Bible. I was gifted a journal Bible and for the past two years I’ve been able to write in this Bible whenever I felt led to do so. I found a reminder for myself from March last year that had the specific words that I had longed to hear last night.

“Don’t give up. It’s all going to be worth it.”

I had no idea how I would be feeling today back when I wrote that. But God provided through that season when He reminded me to keep going the first time, and I have to trust that He will provide for me again through this season, and the next, and the next…

The thing is, God doesn’t promise to take away our struggles. He promises us that He will go through them with us.

And that’s a pretty big promise, if you ask me. After all, God promises this for every. single. person. on. Earth.

That’s a lot of people! But God loves all of us so much that He’s willing to do that.

God is our Father and no matter what the enemy throws our way, we have to rely on the One who loves us and cares for us to bring us through.

Today, look for the ways that God is using to try to bring you back to Him. Allow His peace to fill you even among the uncertainty of life. And remember that God loves you unconditionally and will always be there with arms open to welcome you home.

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:24-25

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

But I Thought God Promised…

What does God really mean when He says He will give us the desires of our hearts?

Sorry for a bit of a late post for today’s Encouragement Thursday! I’ve had a recurring thought come to mind and I decided it would inspire this week’s post, despite the fact that I didn’t get the idea by being encouraged from someone else. I actually think this is a reminder that God’s been placing on my heart because I really needed to hear it this week.

Take a look at this verse:

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:5

I’m sure many of you have read this verse and felt your heart swell with joy and contentment, until…you didn’t get what you wanted.

Then you came to God in anger, frustration, defeat, or maybe all of the above. You said to God, “I thought you promised to give me what I wanted if I trusted you and praised you. Why didn’t things work out the way I planned?”

I think we’ve all been there, in that place, wondering why God didn’t “come through” for us. But the thing is, many of us just haven’t interpreted this verse correctly. Yet, it can still be a source of encouragement for us, just in a different way.

You see, God is always going to do what’s best, even if we don’t understand why. And just because you desire something doesn’t mean it’s what’s best in the long run. We don’t know the future, only God does, so really, we should only want what God wants because He’s the only one who can have everyone’s best interests in mind.

In addition, we often like to take verses out of context, don’t we? That’s okay, I’ve done it plenty of times. But it’s important to read around the verse too.

The following verse says this:

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
Psalm 37: 6-7

The key to God’s promise in these verses is that if we are following God and placing our lives in His hands, He will make sure our patience, trust, and obidence is not in vain. He will make sure that our lives are used to bring others closer to Him and He will fill us with His love and mercy. And of course, in the end, we will spend the rest of eternity in Heaven with Him.

Isn’t that an even better gift than getting that short-term dream fulfilled?

God never leaves us empty-handed. But we need to be willing to do our part and not expect the Creator of the Universe to do whatever we ask simply because we believe it’s what’s right.

If you trust God and ultimately desire His will to be done, then you will get the desires of your heart.

So today, think about what you desire in life. Are your desires following along with what God has told you in the past? Are you upset at God because He didn’t do what you asked?

I know it’s hard to understand God sometimes (okay, a lot of the time). But it’s important to think “big picture” about life. We really don’t know what’s ahead, but we don’t have to be afraid because God is in control. We just have to trust Him and commit our lives to Him. And in the end, it’s worth the wait.

The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord. All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lordweighs the spirit. Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.
Proverbs 16:1-3

Not Just for Display

Have you been longing to hear from God? Maybe this will help you deepen your relationship with Him.

I have a collection of bar soaps along my bathroom counter. Today when I was trying to pump soap out from my dispenser, I realized there was no more left. I was frustrated, thinking that I would have to go searching around the house for another dispenser of soap. That’s when I looked right in front of me and saw all those unused soaps. They were serving no purpose. The reason soap was created, of course, is to clean our hands. Not for collecting dust by being a display piece on my counter.

As I grabbed a fresh bar of soap, I thought about another item that is possibly collecting dust on our desks when it really should be used to its full potential.

That would be our Bibles. They aren’t just for display.

I’ve noticed that we (and this includes myself!) often turn to other sources to interpret the Bible for us. We would rather hear someone tell us that the Bible says exactly what we want to hear instead of actually doing the work to find out our answers for ourselves. It can certainly be hard, in a era where all of life’s solutions seem to be at our fingertips. We don’t want to do the hard work of digging deep into the Word of God in order to really know for ourselves if a choice, action, or decision is God’s will.

But friend, we are so missing out if we don’t dive into the Word of God! These are God’s love letters to us, our source of encouragement and hope. We shouldn’t be content with living off of someone else’s relationship with God. We should want to know the answer enough to do the work to find it.

The Bible is more than just a book. It’s alive and active. It never ages the way everything else does. Believe it or not, the people in the Bible struggled with the same sins we do. If you don’t believe me, check out the story of Noah. All the sins mentioned there are the same ones we are currently grappling with– and worse!

But reading the Bible isn’t supposed to be a boring task that we try to get through as quickly as we can (and I have certainly struggled with this). This is our time to really hear God’s voice. We wish we knew exactly what God wanted for us, right? So that we can have the best life possible?

Well, good news! You can know exactly what God wants for you by reading the Bible! Once you know how God feels about things and how He has spoken to others in the past, you can use those things to guide you in future decisions.

The Bible has messages that can be hard to accept. That’s often why we avoid reading it for ourselves and settle for cheap interpretations. Here’s something to look out for. Just like in science, if someone is making bold statements without any evidence, we wouldn’t want to believe them, right? Same goes for the Bible. If someone is claiming that God says a certain thing, but then doesn’t give any verses or even any context around the verses they may share, then how can we possibly believe them?

We need to be firm in our faith in order to stand up for it and to fully know what we believe in. The only way to do that is to make our faith our own by reading the Bible for ourselves.

If you have read the Bible and firmly believe with your whole heart that God is telling you something through it, even if I wouldn’t have naturally agreed with you, I will completely respect your thoughts because you have done the research and felt God’s Spirit guiding you.

But at this exact moment, can you honestly say that your faith is entirely your own? If someone asked you what you believe, what would you say?

Those are tough questions, and I’m not perfect, so I would struggle with answering them too. That’s why I’m going to give you a new challenge, and I will take it as well. Take some time each day to study the Bible for yourself. Find out if that action is a sin. Find out how much God loves you. Find out what God promises for your future.

Don’t settle. Never settle.

God’s Word is there to remind you of your purpose and how loved you are. Don’t waste this precious gift.

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
-Hebrews 4:12

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
2 Timothy 3:16-17

Don’t Waste the Waiting

Are you in a season of waiting? Here’s some encouragement!

The time in which I thought God was not moving was actually the time He was moving in my heart.
-Lysa Terkeurst (What Happens When Women Walk in Faith)

I’ve seen the message, “Don’t waste the waiting”, pop up in my life repeatedly over the past several months.

I’m currently taking a psychology class, and we were recently discussing the idea of “nature vs nurture”. I think by nature I want to be laid back and just let things happen, but because of the way I was raised, I always need to be getting things done, or else I feel unsatisfied. I absolutely hate wasting time.

Now, part of that is actually really good. I would probably get into a vicious cycle of letting each day slide by without doing anything if it weren’t for the values of hard work and productiveness being ingrained in me. But as you can see, God telling me to wait would probably cause me to start panicking. I often worry that I’m missing out on something when I’m waiting. I feel stuck.

But as I’ve come to learn recently, when God calls us to wait, He is NOT telling us to sit idly by and allow that to be our excuse for not getting things done. Actually, the waiting period can be one of the most productive and crucial times of our lives.

That’s because the waiting period is where God is preparing us to become our best selves, the person that is ready for the gift at the end of the waiting. Whether you’re waiting for a breakthrough in your career, a romantic relationship, even being able to fulfill your calling in life, don’t waste this season of waiting.

You can use this time to grow closer to God by journaling, praying, and reading your Bible regularly. I know I give that advice a lot, but those are the main ways I grow closer to God, and I know they have worked for many others. Those are the main ways we can hear directly from God. In addition, reach out to others in the same season of life, or even those who are farther along, so that they can encourage and support you. God has placed people in your life for a reason, and even if they let you down sometimes, don’t allow those feelings of disappointment overshadow all the blessings they have brought you. Our community is there to equip us to reach our full potential and pursue God’s calling in our lives.

Waiting isn’t easy, that’s for sure. But it doesn’t have to be an unproductive period of time. And you don’t have to frantically read the entire Bible all in one sitting, hoping that this season will pass quicker. Enjoy the waiting. Enjoy this time that you get to focus on personal growth and on your relationship with God. Don’t just focus on yourself during this time. God wants to use you through every season of life, so go out and find ways to be of service to others.

Give your friend a phone call spontaneously. They may be really encouraged.

Spend some time writing to older members of your community. They love handwritten cards!

Go for a walk and listen to uplifting music. That will give you time to reflect and restart before the beginning of a new week.

I know that this time of being isolated is difficult. Despite there being more opportunities for both virtual and in-person community now than back in the spring, it’s still hard being socially distanced and worrying about spreading a deadly disease by being around people.

But you can still be a blessing without having life go back to normal yet. Now more than ever do people need you to be there for them.

And if you are ever feeling burned out and lonely, remember that God will always be there for you. He will never leave you nor forsake you.

So today, trust God during this time of waiting. Remember that where you are right now is where you are meant to be. God has an amazing purpose in store for you, and He wants you to use this season of waiting in order to become the person you are meant to be. Don’t waste the waiting.

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.
Psalm 62:5

Where is God Now?

Are you having a tough time trusting God? Here’s some encouragement.

Have you felt like God isn’t there for you?

Have you been doubting your faith lately?

Pause. And ask the simple question of “why?”

Is it because you really believed that God was going to do something for you because you prayed about it and you felt like God was leading you to a certain thing/job/person, but it didn’t work out?

I’ve been there before, friend, and it’s hard. It’s especially hard when that second part comes into play, where we really believe that God is leading us to something or someone, and yet it doesn’t work out. Or at least, it doesn’t work out the way we wanted it to. That’s the key, isn’t it?

I’m here to tell you something that’s hopefully encouraging. Just because something doesn’t go the way you wanted it to or even believed it would, doesn’t mean that God wasn’t leading you to go there or be a part of that person’s life. It just means that God is telling us to wait, because something better is in store if we don’t make rash decisions based on our emotions.

I know that’s difficult. That word, patience, has been resurfacing in my life time and time again over the past two years. But last night, I was reminded of something vital. We may not realize the journey that God is currently having us on until after it’s over. Right now, you may be struggling. Or, you may be just in a season of mundane, unsure of what God wants to do with you. Both are difficult, but God uses every situation, person, and season of our lives for His divine purpose.

I was studying the voyage of the Israelites yesterday with a small group of people, and one woman remarked, “I don’t know what God was doing by making them circle back around and take such a complicated route, especially because of course God could bring them straight to the Promise Land if He wanted to, but I do know that it happened the way it did for a reason because God was leading them.”

If you need a refresher, the Israelites had been freed from slavery and were on a 40-year journey through the wilderness. If anyone got impatient with God, it would make sense for them to have, huh? We get annoyed by waiting a few months, or possibly years, but I’ll bet that most of us haven’t been waiting on God for a specific thing for almost half a century.

You may wonder why God seemed to have abandoned them. But here’s the thing, it wasn’t God who abandoned them. It was the Israelites who abandoned God.

God was faithfully providing for them each day, with food and guiding them in the form of a pillar of smoke. (Wouldn’t it be nice if God led us around with a pillar of smoke today? Decision making would be so easy!) And of course, it was thanks to God that they got out of slavery in the first place, because of the plagues God inflicted on the Egyptians for treating human beings so horribly.

However, when the Israelites got to the Promised Land, they doubted that they would be able to defeat the current people group there and they didn’t believe that God would provide for them, despite all He had done for them in the past.

That’s why God allowed them to wander around for so long. Not because He wanted them to suffer, but because He wanted to teach them to trust Him.

Ouch, I don’t know about you, but I’ve been there before. In that space of waiting, in that time where God wanted me to only focus on Him. Looking back, I was definitely in one journey of my life during my sophomore year of high school. God took away all my distractions– I was struggling in school, I lost a good portion of my friends, and I was struggling with my mental health. I was so confused as to why all these things were happening to me. But looking back, God was preparing me for something greater. God was using that time to draw me closer to Him, through prayer, mentors, and journaling. Then, I hit a major turning point in my life.

I was going through a confirmation program at my church and it was the Saturday before Confirmation Sunday. I was a new driver, and I misjudged a turn, causing me to be in a serious car accident.

In some ways, this would’ve been the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak. But God refocused me, and instead of causing me to look at the situation as just one more wrong thing happening in my life, God used this event to strengthen my testimony. I was able to share a testimony the next day that was reflective of God bringing me through the storm, and then reminding me to trust Him, and finally bringing me to a stable place once more.

I have to constantly remind myself of that journey as I now venture through a new one, yet another season of waiting and figuring out how God wants to use me in the future. God eventually led me to the right people, gave me the motivation to improve my grades, and provided mentors in my life to help me work through my personal difficulties (although we all can struggle sometimes, and that’s okay, as long as we don’t just stay “stuck” and we do what we know will help us find peace and restore our minds).

Last night, I was in a conversation with my mom, and she actually said something quite profound. We were discussing some people in my life who I’ve been worried about recently because I’m afraid that they are making decisions that will hurt them in the future. My mom said, “A lot of times in life, we grow impatient. But if we had just waited, then God would’ve given us something better.”

That really got me thinking. What if today, instead of doing something impulsive, we pray? What if we reach out to someone who is a healthy influence in our lives when we are feeling weak instead of turning to someone or something that hurts us? What if we pray for peace of mind instead of an immediate outcome?

Today, think back to a past journey in your life. How has God shown you that He is the One in control and that He’s got this?

Keep listening to God, no matter what. If you do as God leads, no matter the outcome, it was what you were meant to do. And maybe someday it will all make sense. We have something even better than the pillar of smoke. We have the Holy Spirit–God– inside of us, helping us make wise choices each and every day! We are not going through our journeys alone.

God loves you so much and He has an amazing plan for you. We’ve just got to wait and make the most of the season that we are in.

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31

Thank You

Happy One Year Anniversary to this blog! How have you changed over the course of the year?

Today is my one year anniversary of posting on this blog! Thank YOU for being amazing. I hope this has been an encouragement to you, because that is the sole purpose of this blog, to spread encouragement and remind you of God’s love.

As I may have mentioned before, the day I started this blog was rough. It was actually the day after one of the worst nights of my life. I’m the type of person to bottle everything up inside, and it pretty much all exploded that day.

I’ve realized why I was so broken. It was because I was putting my faith in people and in circumstances. I was too afraid of losing what I had instead of focusing on what had been given to me in that moment.

I struggle a lot with really staying in the moment. I would say that I’m generally optimistic, but I do worry a lot about the future and about my relationships. I think that things will only get better if _____ happens.

But I need to stop.

And remember.

I have everything I need already.

And so do you.

You may not feel that way at all, and a lot of the time, I don’t either. But it’s true. God never gives us anything too big for us to handle when we have Him by our side. He can turn any situation around in ways we can’t even fathom. That’s what ended up happening with two of the things I had been so stressed about a year ago.

One of those things had to do with an important person in my life. I was worried that we would drift apart, and although that kind of happened for a season, we ended up becoming closer than we had been originally over the course of a few months. I just had to be patient.

For the other thing, I thought that we were going to have to put my dog down, who was my best friend and closest companion, the only one I ever really shared my emotions with. Well, God spared him for several more months, and because of that scare, I was able to actually celebrate those months and make the most of my time with him.

God allows us to go through difficult days, months, seasons, even years. But He promises us that we are never alone during those times. And in the end, I think you’ll realize why God allowed you to go through those hardships. It’s so hard to think ahead when we’re still in the eye of the storm. But if you keep your eyes on God and allow His peace to flow through you, then however long it takes will be worth it.

In the moment, those few months felt like eternity. But looking back, so much has changed in the course of a year. I’m still here, even when I doubted it sometimes. Life has changed very drastically for all of us, I’m sure.

But there’s one thing that doesn’t change, and that’s God. He will always be our source of perfect love, perfect stability, and perfect justice.

So today, if you have the chance, think back to where you were a year ago today. Have you changed as a person? How have your difficulties over the course of a year actually brought you closer to God?

And remember, there is so much to be thankful for. I guarantee that if you stop and really think about who you love, how God has blessed you, even in the small areas of life, that you’ll feel a bit more joyful.

Thank you for one year! Treat yourself to something sweet and virtually celebrate with me! 😉

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
James 1:17

Didn’t Get to Say Goodbye

Encouragement Thursday: You can still have peace, even if you didn’t get to say goodbye.

When you have to say goodbye to the way things used to be, may you learn to trust above everything, you are free to know peace (even without the closure you thought you would need).
-Morgan Harper Nichols

I’m definitely the type of person who longs for closure, that last goodbye. I want there to be a happy memory, but also something that made it final for me that things were over. I’ve been reflecting on this idea, especially since a week ago I didn’t get the closure on a particular season of life that I was longing for. I think the reason I struggle with needing closure, despite perhaps an innate human desire for it that we all have, would be the fact that a lot of my relationships have ended abruptly. I lost people without even realizing it until it was too late. I’m a very relational person, and I’m going to be honest, one of my biggest fears is losing people (whether figuratively or physically). So the fact that I’ve gone through this several times with people I’ve really cared about has weighed heavily on me and has affected my mindset.

You may be struggling right now with saying goodbye to someone, something, or some symbol of the way things used to be. We all have had to make a lot of adjustments recently, what with COVID-19, along with different issues our world is facing. Maybe you’re dealing with a lot of fear right now about the future.

I have been in that same place, and I know I may sink back there again. But I have to keep reminding myself, just as I hope I’m reminding you now, that it’s okay to be at peace when things change. You don’t have to have everything figured out before you can feel satisfied.

You know why?

Because you already have everything you need to keep going. God will fill you with the strength, joy, and motivation to find new opportunities. All you need to do is ask Him. And I’ve found it especially helpful to journal my feelings and read encouraging Bible verses, devotionals, or posts when I’m needing to find that strength again.

But just because you can have peace and contentment now, despite all you’ve lost, doesn’t mean you have to act like nothing has changed. You don’t have to keep that brave face on when you really want to expose your more sensitive side. It’s perfectly normal, in fact healthy, to grieve these losses in your life. That’s the only way you can eventually be ready to move on. But the process can be slow, and that’s okay. That doesn’t mean you’re weak or overly sensitive. It just means that you’re human and that you’re willing to go through the difficult process of growing into the person you’re meant to be.

So today, take some time to reflect on what’s holding you back from fully experiencing peace. If you need to cry, then cry. If you need to call an encouraging friend, then call them. If you need to take a break and just be alone with God, then take the time to do that. You deserve it. In fact, you owe it to yourself and your relationship with God and with others to allow yourself the freedom to express yourself and just breathe.

No matter who or what you’re grieving right now, your feelings are valid. But remember that they are not what make you who you are. They are not what defines you. Only God is the One who can truly tell you who you are.

And He says that you are valuable, loved, worthy, cherished, His precious child, and so much more.

You’re going to be okay. ❤

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens…
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance.
Ecclesiastes 3: 1, 4

Their Victory Can Be Your Victory

Are you struggling with jealousy right now? Always remember that their purpose is not your purpose. You can celebrate others without comparing them to yourself.

“Her purpose is not your purpose.”
@Shelivespurposefully

“Just because you’re happy about her success doesn’t mean you won’t get yours. So celebrate with her! Don’t create a competition that doesn’t exist.”
Unknown

I’ve seen quotes of this nature so many times on Instagram these days, and I’m just hoping that I can really live it out. Jealousy, that green-eyed monster, has gotten the better of me countless times. But the truth is, the one it’s really hurt is me. It’s caused me to miss out on what’s right in front of me, and even worse, it’s caused me to harbor resentment towards others, either people I hardly know or even close friends.

We never really know what’s going on in other people’s lives. We don’t know what their story is, or what it took, all the failures along the way, to get where they are today. A lot of us are more private than we let on, not wanting people to know our past. And sometimes, that’s okay. But we also have to realize that others are like that too, and they only want us to see the good side of them. The victory at the end of the long, hard, brutal battle.

When we compare ourselves to others, we aren’t measuring things equally. It’s not a fair competition. We are comparing everything about one person (ourselves) and only a partial chapter of another’s story, likely the climax or the resolution. We are never on the exact same part of life as someone else when it comes to personal growth. So why are we expecting our lives to suddenly be figured out when our friend or an influencer’s life takes a dramatic change?

You have a purpose. An extraordinary purpose that no one else on Earth can fulfill.

But beloved, your purpose is not the same purpose as the person next to you. It’s not the same as your roommate, your sibling, your best friend, or even your partner.

It’s all uniquely yours.

But their victory can be your victory. You can celebrate when your friend gets that promotion, your cousin buys that new house, or your neighbor finally has the means to purchase that item you’ve both been eyeing. It’s not a race. It’s not a competition. What is meant for you will be given to you.

The same goes for that particularly touchy subject…relationships.

This one is hard for me to write and follow.

Even that person that you like, or even love, but aren’t in a relationship with, can be someone you celebrate. Even if they end up with someone else. Because they if they aren’t with you, then they weren’t meant for you. You have someone even better suited for you in your future.

Even if your best friend just got into a healthy relationship and you have been single your whole life. You can be happy for her without getting into a relationship yourself or being in that same stage of life. You just haven’t met the perfect person yet. God’s sparing you the heartbreak.

Even if you feel like everyone else in the world has their person (which they don’t… and if you think about it, you’ll realize you probably are in good company being single) you can still celebrate. You are loved by the most powerful, loving, and faithful being in the universe– God. You don’t have to be loved by some person in order to be cherished, worthy, valuable, and enough. You don’t have to be defined by a relationship. You are God’s precious creation no matter what.

So today, encourage others who you may have been envious of earlier. And I know it’s hard. I struggle with jealousy all the time, so this post is for my own benefit as much as yours. But also realize that there is so much more ahead of you that you can celebrate, and hopefully those same people you’re celebrating right now will be able to join you when it’s your turn in the limelight.

You have such a wonderful future ahead of you, and those storms, doubts, and tough situations are only here to make you stronger. You can do this. I believe in you, and more importantly, God believes in you too.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
Psalm 139:14