21 Lessons I’ve Learned at Age 21

As today turns the chapter on another year of my life, here are a few pieces of wisdom God has provided me over the course of being 21.

Relationships

• People cannot fill the God-spaced void in your heart.
• Notice how the people in your circle treat others. Likely, you will eventually be treated by them the same way. If that fills you with joy, good! But if that concerns you, perhaps it’s time to reevaluate the relationship.
• Being constantly flattered or charmed by someone often means they are masking their true intentions.

Identity

• Being yourself can lead to rejection, but that allows only the people who truly care about you to stay.
• It’s a crime to yourself and others to become a different person in every relationship. In an attempt to please everyone, you will be left exhausted, and end up pleasing no one.
• Your identity will be made whole when it’s rooted in being loved by God.

Prayer

• Pray constantly for pure motives and a teachable heart.
• Coming to the Lord on your knees transforms you into a posture of surrender.
• Ask the Lord to help you love Him back.

Writing

• Consistency matters more than quality or quantity. The rest will follow when you make a commitment to write.
• You will gain insight when you show your work to others.
• Hold projects loosely, trusting the changes will bring your story to life in its best form.

Friendship

• Not everyone is receptive to the truth. When they reject it, recognize they are not rejecting you, but something far greater.
• A silent, faithful presence can leave a stronger impact than attempting to fix a loved one’s problems.
• You should treat everyone with kindness and respect. But you do not have to be everyone’s friend.

Purpose

• Closed doors are often God’s way of protecting you.
• God is not withholding anything that is meant for you.
• Our primary purpose is to be in relationship with God.

Life

• Joyful seasons will end sooner when you allow worry to creep into your heart. Trust that God is with you on the mountaintops and in the valleys below.
• Don’t waste energy on trying to convince others to understand you.
• The tiny steps matter. You are making progress, and progress far outlasts our flawed definition of perfection.

As I step into being 22, I pray that God will continue to remind me that I’m only capable of loving others when I’m filled with His love. His Spirit will sustain me, no matter what I will face.

What is something God’s been teaching you this year?

Therefore Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.

John 10:7-11 (NIV)