When Love Means Letting Go

Where I live, it’s beginning to feel like fall. Leaves burn red and orange, the familiar pitter-patter of raindrops splat against my windshield, and there’s a sense of change in the air. Fall is a time for new beginnings, fresh starts, and letting go.

I saw a quote today encouraging us to view relationships like sunsets. Enjoy their beauty while they are here, but accept that they don’t always last forever.

During a recent trip, I was determined to see the sunset every night. On the first night, we happened to be at the beach just in time for sunset. The experience was peaceful, relaxing, and glorious.

The next day, I frantically ran through the streets in search of an entrance to the coastline, desperate for the sunset. We caught the fading remains just as the sun sank behind the puffy purple clouds.

On the third day, with the bold declaration that we wouldn’t be late this time, I set up camp a half hour early, waiting and waiting for the sun to set. This resulted in a headache from being under the direct sun, fire ant bites, and momentarily losing my travel companion. While the sunset was beautiful, it wasn’t quite so relaxing.

Finally, on our last day, I told myself that if I was meant to see the sunset, I would see it. The timing worked out perfectly. Right after dinner, we happened to be next to a beach access just as the sky turned tangerine and pale pink. We were able to bask in the beauty of the sunset without any strains or burdens.

Relationships truly can be like sunsets. When they evolve naturally, they are beautiful and comfortable. Even when they are challenging, they provide growth and insight. But when we force relationships to outlive their lifespan or stay just as they are because we aren’t ready to change, we begin to feel exhausted, frustrated, and lonely.

I’m someone who has trouble letting go of people. When I become friends with someone, I like to go deep and create a meaningful bond. However, letting go can be an act of love. It doesn’t mean you have to stop caring or praying for a person. But it may mean taking a step back, reevaluating the relationship, or saying goodbye altogether.

Even Jesus set boundaries with His disciples. He became close to them through His earthly ministry, and when He knew they were ready to share the gospel, He sent them off as He went up to Heaven. Perhaps they wouldn’t have grown in courage and boldness if Jesus had stayed. When they missed Jesus, He told them that the Holy Spirit would be their helper, someone with them at all times, living inside of them. That gift is even greater than having Jesus physically here with us.

Letting go of loved ones (or perhaps people who are in your life who you’re struggling to like) can be opening a door to a better future. It’s not that you are harming them — in fact, you are participating in their growth and freedom. But perhaps the dependency you have on each other keeps you from fully living into your calling or your dependency on Jesus.

I pray that if you are feeling led to let go of someone in your life, you are able to do it in love and leave the situation with peace. Trust that even if one relationship is ending, there are so many more people out there for you to meet and bless. You are not alone. ❤

But now I am going to him who sent me. None of you asks me, ‘Where are you going?’ ⁶ Rather, you are filled with grief because I have said these things. ⁷ But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. ⁸ When he comes, he will prove the world to be in the wrong about sin and righteousness and judgment: ⁹ about sin, because people do not believe in me; ¹⁰ about righteousness, because I am going to the Father, where you can see me no longer; ¹¹ and about judgment, because the prince of this world now stands condemned.

¹² “I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. ¹³ But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. ¹⁴ He will glorify me because it is from me that he will receive what he will make known to you. ¹⁵ All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will receive from me what he will make known to you.”

John 16: 5-15 (NIV)