It’s Time to Check In

I once heard that the people who seem to have it the most “together” are the ones who in the most need of being checked in on. I find this to be very true. When people create a large “cover” to hide their deeper feelings, it’s easier for them to be overlooked.

Last week, I got the privilege of spending time with a friend I haven’t seen in nearly a year. As I’m sure you’ve experienced when reconnecting with people after being locked down for so long, we spent the majority of the conversation discussing all we had missed from each other’s lives over the past year. She admitted to feeling frustrated over how people in her life, especially people close to her, assumed everything came easy to her and that she never needed their help. “It’s true,” she said. “Most people think I have it all together. But I really don’t.”

In all honesty, I had regarded her as a person who did have it all together. The perfect grades, a good head on her shoulders, an admirable amount of confidence. Though I wasn’t one of the people she had been referring to, I felt a sense of guilt as I realized I spent more time investing in the people in my life who had obvious needs than people like her. And just because she needed help, she needed someone to ask how she was doing, it doesn’t make her any less of the incredible person I thought she was. All of her accomplishments mean even more now that I know her mindset through those times.

Sometimes, we talk ourselves out of checking in on people. We allow our outward impressions of others to define our relationship with them. We enjoy labeling friends as “the one we have fun with” or “the one we get wise advice from” or “the one who relies on me”. But the truth is, we all need to be shown that we are cared about and that we aren’t going through life alone. And often, the ones who laugh the most and act like everything’s okay are the ones who would appreciate a kind word or a simple act of love the most. They are often the ones who are always overlooked in this sense.

Two and a half years ago, I was in a dark place. I was this close to spiraling into a place of despair. But then a friend reached out to me and checked in. She could see, or perhaps God helped her see, that something was wrong. Something deeper than what I presented on the surface. And that saved me from going into a place I don’t know if I could’ve recovered from.

Today, ask God to bring to your mind someone, or perhaps multiple people, who need you to check in on them. You don’t have to start off with deep, thought-provoking questions. Rather, just see if they need someone to talk to or if you can spend some time with them. Think outside the box, to the people who might seem okay or who might not have anyone in their lives who care about their feelings.

In the Bible, we are told that people will know we follow Jesus because of our love. The greatest commandment is to love God and love people. If we wake up every morning realizing how much love God has for us, we can extend that love to others.

You are loved. ❤

I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

John 13:34-35

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

1 John 4:7-8

Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:2

For you were called to be free, brothers and sisters; only don’t use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love.

Galatians 5:13