Let God Grow You

To be honest, I’ve had a rough week. I won’t get into the details right now, but I have felt really upset at myself for going back to a place I had hoped not to go back to. Do you ever pride yourself on how far you’ve come, only to end up feeling like you’re in the exact same place? You thought you overcame things like overthinking situations or doubting yourself or God, and then you’re right back there.

It almost feels worse than it did originally.

Last night, I scrolled through some old videos, and by old, I mean old. Little Hannah was a lot different than grown-up Hannah. I mean, I don’t crack cow jokes and name my stuffed animals “Utters” anymore…right?

Anyway, as much as I could see what was different about me, I also saw similarities. In tutorial videos, I kept affirming my invisible audience and reminding them that I couldn’t get it the first time either. I posted multiple videos to songs I still enjoy. One thing that caught my attention was a video I made on a day when I didn’t feel silly. (Which wasn’t very often 😂) It was a video where I was listening to a song by Lauren Daigle and drawing a girl climbing a mountain.

Music and art have always been my sources of escape. My way to connect with God and with myself after a tough day. Some things never change. And maybe that’s okay.

Wherever you are in your life, I hope you know that you are growing. I hope you know that even if you have been sucked back into the dark, there is still a light at the end of the tunnel. You are not stuck. You are still being transformed into the person you are meant to be.

Sometimes, things remind us of our past, and we think that’s a bad thing. But the truth is, we will never be the same person we once were. We are not stuck in that identity. We can still keep the aspects of our lives that make us, well, us, and grow into better people.

Even if you are feeling old feelings, you are not that same old person. You are coming at this problem with more wisdom, more strength from God, and more hope because you know that you can get through this.

My church is going through the book of Exodus right now, and we just reached the part where the Israelites are going through the wilderness with God. Based on their grumbling and complaining, and the fact that they were traveling through the wilderness, I’m guessing it wasn’t all fun and games. I picture rocky terrain, a thirst and hunger for comfort, and decreasing motivation.

I often compare the Israelites journeying through the wilderness to a hike. (Though I hope you don’t take 40 year hikes, but if you do, congrats, you just blew my mind!)

To be honest, I don’t usually enjoy the hiking process. I mean, getting dirt and twigs stuck in your tennis shoes, climbing up never-ending hills, and seeing tree after tree after tree…oh and don’t get me started on the rocks! Once my toes were black and blue after stubbing them on giant rocks during a hike.

So why do we hike when the journey is so difficult? Because of what’s at the end.

Sometimes, we are rewarded with a gorgeous waterfall or a picturesque view of a town. Other times, we simply get the pleasure of a job well done. We made it! We did it! And we can go out and do it again.

Difficult seasons of life are often like taking a hike. We have to get through a lot of prickly bushes of people, stinging nettles of mean words, and falls that send us spiraling into anxiety.

But once we get to the end, it’s always worth the hike. Sometimes God rewards us by showing us how we helped others or allows us to share our stories to make a difference. He might even give us a simple solution at the end of the whole journey. Other times, He allows us to relish in the satisfaction of making it this far, of growing in confidence.

Speaking of growing…that’s the whole point of our “life hikes”.

When faced with an opportunity to grow, we often try to avoid it by taking a smoother route. But that route will eventually lead back to the rocky road because that’s the only way to true growth. We can’t get to the reward until we get through the tough stuff. Until we finally learn what God’s teaching us.

We can go in kicking and screaming, demanding an easier way, until we give up and let God take us where we need to go. That often leads to detours that make the trip even longer and more trying. But when we go in with a tender heart, with open ears and eyes, we will grow even deeper into who God wants us to be.

When we focus on the gorgeous waterfall, we forget about the sharp rocks beneath us. When we focus on our Creator, we forget about the ones who call us unworthy. When we focus on who God sees us as, we forget about who we used to be.

Today, open your heart and mind to the fact that God is calling you to grow. Comfort zones are easy and enjoyable places to be, but nothing beautiful grows there. Step out of your comfort zone and realize that through whatever you’re going through, God is going to make you stronger. Don’t give up. ❤

Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.

John 14:1

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:18-19

Song Recommendation, New Day, by Danny Gokey: https://youtu.be/0TrKXehB0pg